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23463 No. 23463 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]
Is this the only anime/weeb community left that hasn't been over run by children?
Every time I find a new one to join it's the same thing, retarded teenagers who wont shut up about school or spoiled rich kids and their college crap. It's all "dur hur I'm gonna be a doctor I'm gonna be a laywer" fuck you. I feel so fucking old lately and this shit doesn't help one bit. It's just so ackward being in these servers/channels with kids that are half my age. Not that it's uncommon here either. Where the fuck are all the 30+ weebs? Do they just kill themselves when they hit 30 or do they turn into normal fags and quit the internet? What the fuck man.
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>> No. 26388 [Edit]
>>26380
Yes. We're actually not that uncommon as it turns out. I do wonder how many of us are still weebs and how many just lurk ibs out of habit.
>> No. 26415 [Edit]
>>26380
I'm in my 30s, but I eventually lost interest in weeb stuff so I don't come to some of these boards much anymore.
>> No. 26416 [Edit]
>>26415
What are you interested in these days? For entertainment I mean.
>> No. 26417 [Edit]
>>26416
I used to like fantasy novels when I was a teenager and I got back into that. I've also been getting into roguelikes and some older CRPGs and strategy games. Also I have to work full-time now (I was a NEET for most of my 20s), so it's not exactly hard to fill my time; I always feel like I don't have enough of it.

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25993 No. 25993 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Have you ever tried to kill yourself? What method(s) did you use? If you made multiple attempts, how many? What pushed or keeps pushing you over that edge? How did you feel when you woke up in the hospital or each time it happens? Did life change for you in any way at all, for better or for worse? How did others around you feel, if you had anyone? What other experiences do you have related to it?
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>> No. 26373 [Edit]
>>25993
I've never made an attempt. When I do eventually kill myself I'm not going to fail, it's pretty easy to end your life with a little research and following the proper steps. Hanging, slitting your wrists, a big jump, or for americans, a gun, are all pretty foolproof.
>> No. 26374 [Edit]
>>26373
Nothing is foolproof because there's always margin for error (e.g. your equipment malfunctions). But hanging and slitting wrists seem like pretty miserable ways to go since they take a longer time and you'd probably be in physical pain for that duration.
>> No. 26376 [Edit]
>>26374
I figure the sure way is better than the comfortable way. After all, the point is to stop being alive. I don't want to risk surviving, and if you actually make sure the support, drop distance, knot, etc is right, then you pretty much can't fail. Most botched suicides are due to poor planning or lack of real desire to die.
>> No. 26386 [Edit]
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26386
I'm sorry to all of you who feel this way for how horrible the world can be. I'll miss you and think about you.

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23139 No. 23139 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
What did you fear as a kid?
35 posts and 8 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 26359 [Edit]
I've been into anime for more than 20 years and while time ago I feared I could grow up from it, it never happened. I still watch shows every season and I don't think I'm stick to any particular era or style. Some people are really fond of first 00's anime but I'm not particularly nostalgic about it.
What worries me is someday I could become so stressed, anhedonic, numb and mentally fucked I wouldn't be able to enjoy anything at all. I feel like there's some dark force leading me there but I try to resist.
>> No. 26360 [Edit]
>>26359
Man, I'm jealous. That anhedonia sucked me down right after I turned 19 and I've been there ever since.
>> No. 26361 [Edit]
>>26360
How old are you? Maybe it's just a phase.
Also I think my childhood helped, I didn't have shit but a black & white TV I could only watch at the evening, I was 14 when I had my first computer and could play videogames and do shit for the first time. So at 20 yo everything was still fresh.
But things are still getting worse year by year. I blame mental degradation caused by social exposition.
>> No. 26364 [Edit]
>>26361
25 although I can hardly believe it. It feels like the last five years passed in a couple months. I didn't really have access to games or a computer either until I was around 14, but I burnt out pretty quick. I wouldn't say it was that I watched or played a lot of stuff, I just have been tired all the time.

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26262 No. 26262 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Does anybody ever think about what will happen to them in the future? It occurs to me that I've spent all this time on nothing.. no relationships or skills built. 28 years. I'm slotted in for an IT school program but it's really hitting me in how alone I am. NOT to make a blog post but i realize i don't have any answers at all.. no direction, purpose, place to call home. I've just been distracting myself. It's an awful, awful wasteland.
What answers do you have for your wasteland? How do you build a life? I guess I'm the kind that will commit suicide if nothing changes.
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>> No. 26307 [Edit]
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26307
>>26273
Do you ever worry about whether being a coward will prevent you from discerning truth in the world? How can you pursue something like that when your moral foundation is flawed? What else but purity of spirit could discern such things?
Honest question. I like what you wrote, i am reminded of it in my own aspirations.
>> No. 26308 [Edit]
>>26262
I'm working towards a very specific computer certificate degree right now that I do not have any motivation or heart for, but I know it's not practical to just drop it because I don't care for it. It kind of sucks but I've consigned myself to a boring and safe future. I've never been interested by any practical real world skills anyway so it's not like I have some dream career that I'm giving up. I don't see how people can be excited about shit like being lawyers or doctors, it seriously makes me want to claw my eyes out even imagining spending the next 30 years slogging away at some boring human career. Maybe if I could do something in military science or have enlisted that would have been cool, but I have worse health than most corpses, on average. I'm not stupid either, I can do pretty much anything woth computers and it's easy, but it's fucking boring. I don't know why god made me good at something I hate. I wish I was fit and could spend weeks in the woods hunting and fishing, without worrying about bleeding my ass off or catching a deadly cold. I would be happy just being a fucking neanderthal, I think. Bears are less frightening than job searching, and I've confronted both in their natural habitats and only one of them made me almost shit myself with nervous fear. Oh god why, why did you make the average person such a mind numbingly annoying specimen, why do they want to have small talk and socialize when I would prefer to get clear concise orders and then have them shut the fuck up. The only interesting thing technology produced were nukes, and those are never used for fun things anymore.
>> No. 26309 [Edit]
I find meaning in enjoyment, and I find enjoyment in hobbies and creative pursuits, even though I'm not great at any of em. I read a lot, write fiction occasionally, blog to an audience of nobody (it's fun to express yourself), draw and program.

I have no goal, no coherent political worldview, nothing I'm striving for, no dreams, no purpose, no close relationships of any kind, barely any mores or attachments, not much of an internal moral system. And I'm quite happy.
This is my answer. I've emptied myself and it feels pretty nice.
>> No. 26310 [Edit]
>>26307
I've worried about that when I started, but as time went on, it felt as if your spirit reshapes itself as you have more divine energies flowing through you, and as the elements get more balanced through practice, leading to a more stable mind. It's not really an issue, I think. You become worthy with practice.

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25323 No. 25323 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]
Post random things you remember. Little things that left an impression on you.

I was driving with my mom somewhere around the time I was in middle school. It was a long ride. I summarised the plots of eva and saya no uta to her. She seemed bored and a little put-off, but I think she was listening. Then she started talking about how Japanese people have a genetic propensity for cruelness which explained why they would make such things. I thought it was an interesting theory.
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>> No. 26298 [Edit]
>>26275
Being outspoken is one of those things that outs you as an assertive person, which is a problem when people are expected to be more docile than ever before. The idea of strongly holding an idea that is your own is high heresy against the church of never failing to consider each and every point of view until you are convinced that yes, you SHOULD give up your own interests and ideals in deference of other people. I am not talking about any one specific example.
>> No. 26301 [Edit]
>>26298
And yet society idolizes and promotes outspoken people. The "free-thinking" outspoken man is revered in the media as a symbol of the American spirit, and more practically in the workforce it is those outspoken individuals who shamelessly take credit for others that will be given promotions.
>> No. 26302 [Edit]
>>26298
>>26301
Sometimes I don't know if I'm a weirdo for being unable to hold strong opinions, or I'm a normal for the same reason. It's confusing.
>> No. 26306 [Edit]
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26306
>>26301
>And yet society idolizes and promotes outspoken people.
It's selective with this. The only promoted ones are the people who state the "correct" opinion, the opinion most agree with that is considered the most socially acceptable.
>The "free-thinking" outspoken man is revered in the media as a symbol of the American spirit
This might be true of what some people think but in practice if the free-thinking outspoken man disagrees with the masses, even if his opinion is as American and logical as it gets, he will be absolutely despised. This kind of archetype just makes an interesting character but not always a well-liked person, especially now.
But you probably already know this.

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25835 No. 25835 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
I've been thinking about what separates serial killers, like Jeffrey Dahmer in particular, from neets, otaku, waifuists and other such people. Those who don't know anything about Dahmer's personality assume he had aspd(psycopath), but there's more to suggest he had some cluster a disorder. From what I gathered, he didn't commit violence for its own sake, but as a means to use people for sexual gratification and company. He desperately wanted permanent company and a dead body could not abandon him, he killed people when they wanted to leave. What he really wanted though was a mindless slave to be his companion.

On a surface level, some qualities seem shared like a fixation on certain topics, loneliness, inability and or lack of desire to form normal relationships, poor impulse control, living in an internal world and perhaps less than average emotional empathy. Multiple people on tonho-chan have also wrote that they either suspect they are a schizoid or have been diagnosed as one. So if anything, what's that key difference? Is it just better impulse control? Different sexual tastes? More empathy? Different circumstances? Could it be that being more misanthropic decreases the chances a person will kill others for some gratification? Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but I'd like to cut through the moralizing and get to some kind of answer.

Post edited on 23rd Aug 2020, 11:23pm
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>> No. 26281 [Edit]
>>26280
They're dumb until they trick and or kill you.
>> No. 26284 [Edit]
>>26281
I'm talking about gangbangers and families with anger issues getting in arguments that escalate to one of them shooting up the other. If schizophrenics are more deceptive and cruel killers, then they only have more self control than the "normal" supposedly nonviolent people. I watched my cousins almost kill each other many times.
>> No. 26288 [Edit]
>>26284
Schizoids are different from schizophrenics, but I get what you're saying. Your cousins know each other though.
>> No. 26291 [Edit]
>>26288
Most people who kill each other usually do. I wonder if the only "weird" thing about serial killers is that they kill strangers? Is it considered more socially acceptable to kill someone that you personally disliked?

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20209 No. 20209 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
My parents are doing so many things for my younger sibling that they never did when I was growing up. Now it's too late to fix a lot of my problems.

They're helping her apply to college. They're going to pay for her college. They've given her tips on applications and resumes. They make sure she's involved in their local circles and help her do networking. They make sure she gets help for her shortcomings. They make sure she has emotional support. They spend time with her. They don't yell at her. I wish they did these things with me. But they didn't.

It just makes me so angry and jealous and I don't know what to do or feel. I feel like their actions indicate that I'm not even a person.

Post edited on 7th Jun 2015, 9:20pm
7 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 20228 [Edit]
>>20227
He's right they do, many simply do it without even realizing it.
>> No. 21377 [Edit]
>>20209
CONFRONTATION
Tell those to two exactly what they are putting you trough
Get your parents in a room sit em down no sister aloud, tell them not to give any input until you have gotten everything out, just spill it on them. then hear what they have to tell you.
>> No. 21381 [Edit]
>>20213
>while women do indeed do better in some professions
>why people think that women are either equal to men or better
>think that it is a shared delusion among society
Uh, what the fuck? This is the most inexplicable shit I've read in a while. Surely the feminist propaganda where you're from can't be this blatant and insane.
>> No. 26283 [Edit]
>>20215
My parents split up 4 rooms between 6 kids by putting each girl in a room and the 3 boys in one room. I was the oldest child yet i never got a private space even one, they even resented it when I turned part of the basement into a little office for myself. My sisters were given expensive dancing lessons and private tutors while my brothers and I were sent to public school and sent out to work at 18. You be the judge.

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25942 No. 25942 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Have you given any thought to what would become of your stuff when you die? Do you have any plans set for parting it out among friends and family, or does it not matter to you?
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>> No. 26208 [Edit]
>>26205
Yeah, I'll definitely be appreciating life when I'm dead. Idiot.
>> No. 26209 [Edit]
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26209
>>26208
He meant life's finitude is what makes every moment worthy of appreciation, anon.
>> No. 26261 [Edit]
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26261
>> No. 26272 [Edit]
>>26209
No, he's got a point. How can I appreciate something if I can't have it for eternity? Maybe my appetite is too large for a human but that's how I feel all the same.

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25719 No. 25719 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
How is your mental condition? From a functional point of view.

I'm really worried about this. Any issue I could have is getting worse with the years and I'm developing new ones.
My hands don't respond well, I drop things or do weird shit like getting stuck in a certain movement. Sometimes I just fall or lose my balance. I get my clothes hooked with all kinds of stuff, like doors, and I haven't seen a person with the same problem in my life.
I confuse numbers, like my own phone number, directions and names. But I'm also starting to confuse words and sounds. Let's say I want to say "psychology" and suddenly I don't know if I should say "psychologist", "psychology" or psychologic". Or I want to say or write "come on" and I say "common", "coming", "cumming" or who knows what dumb shit. Sometimes I just forget words or half a sentence so I just end with an absolute nonsense that I can't even understand myself. Other issues include repeating things (maybe I even posted this before but I can't know for sure), getting extremely disoriented while going anywhere and being unable to focus on anything (I can't even properly watch an episode of anime because of this). Sometimes I'm reading a book and I have to turn back and reread the last 20 pages because I've literally no idea about what I've been reading in the last ten minutes.

It seems like alzheimer or the kind of illness you start to suffer when you're old, senile and about to die soon, but I'm in my 30's.
I heard lack (I just wrote "like" in place of "lack", noticed minutes later while rereading) of social interaction can deteriorate your cognition but this is just too much and it's not like I've been the last ten years in a desert island.
It could be something worse like a brain tumour, actual alzheimer (it's rare but it can start in your 30's) or some similar disease.
But I don't see what I can do about it. I can't go to a doctor because I don't believe in them and this is an issue that would require lots of effort to get a dyagnose. I want to improve my enviroment and mindset to see if it can help, but if it's something serious I'm
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>> No. 25748 [Edit]
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25748
>>25747
I like to believe it's not that severe, but reading the posts (even mine) makes me think maybe I'm fucked up but somehow managed to hide it from most. I'm not sure.

Still, I've been feeling better last week since I've been living by myself. I can see this issues aren't uncommon in our kind and I want to believe it's a psychological thing, along with some chronic condition like some kind of dyslexia, but at least not alzheimer hitting in my 30's. If it's not and it's my brain's dying then there's little to do about it so no point in worrying.
A problem I have is I'm never really sure about what's going on. I'm not sure if I'm still functional or not, I'm not sure about what image I'm giving either. Sometimes I think I'm just some sort of monkey-like creature and everyone just tries to act semi-normal with me out of pity. I think one of the results of isolation is not having too many points of reference, but maybe that's still better than herd mentality.
>> No. 25793 [Edit]
My OCD is getting worse and better at the same time, I stopped eating my mothers cooking and I decided that when I move out I will have to leave thousands of dollars worth of books and furniture behind. But I am converting more on waifu 2x and my hands have improved. It's still incredibly exhausting though, every morning I wake up dreading the day because I know how I will have to walk on a mine field to avoid touching or seeing anything and I know how much effort that takes.

>>25737
Maybe, I saw my GP to talk to him about getting help for it. My GP was worried about me because the last Psych he sent me to for something else saw me, was meant to write a report to him but then never sent it to him and he had not heard from me for two years.
>> No. 26265 [Edit]
Sorry for bumping this thread, but it was the closest I could find: (http://tohno-chan.com/so/arch/res/1767.html is an even better match, but that's archived)

Does anyone have any experience with (and hopefully solutions to prevent) overthinking/dwelling, both on past events and future decisions? For instance, I'll often ruminate on a past decision I made and lament about how if I had only done something else the present would be different. It's similar to what the OP of that previous linked thread stated
>I can't stop thinking in the smallest mistakes over and over, like a loud speaker on my head

but for me at least it's not necessarily limited to "mistakes" but also any past decision made in the lack of "perfect information" (i.e. decisions made in the face of some uncertainty). Then later on in the present when the outcome of that decision has been realized resulting in new information, I'll sit there thinking in circles simulating the past decision in light of that new knowledge, wondering whether I should have picked the other option. Of course logically I know that such rumination is pointless, but emotionally/subconsciously I'll continue to dwell on it. The same happens for past decisions whose outcome isn't known yet but has already predetermined as a result of that choice (i.e. at this point the outcome is uncontrollable, so there's no logical point ruminating about it; and yet I still can't help myself). I'll also similarly overthink decisions that have yet to be made (one can see a common theme of "fear of uncertainty").

There's probably an element of (self-diagnosed) ocd thrown in amidst all of that too (I've faced similar situations to that scene in Slow Start where Hana found a loose screw on the floor and couldn't go to sleep without finding the source. And perhaps ironically spent the past hour researching ocd symptoms; the "classic" symptoms mentioned online don't seem to apply, except for the general element of overthinking).

As someone in that aforementioned thread stated
>For psychological and neurological reasons, rumination gets worse t
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>> No. 26269 [Edit]
>>26265
I don't overthink about decisions I made because I think I'm actually good at making them, I don't feel too much regreet over any big decision in last years. I also don't need to make that many decisions to start with.
So I focus my overthinking in stupid inane shit, even the most insignificant. I could simply trip into someone or cause a minor inconvenience and something like that can take me into an spiral of overthinking and guilt to the point I could remember the event even years (or decades) later. It's really sick if you think about it.

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25750 No. 25750 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
How do you feel when people laugh at you?
There's still pride inside you? You can still feel the pain of getting humiliated? Maybe have you reached nirvana or just don't give a fuck?
I still feel the pain. Sometimes I feel my only function in earth is to be a laughing stock or someone that can be ordered or just mistreated by literally everyone so the other humans feel better about themselves. I feel like this is a function that has been determined, socially, and also genetically. From a really early age. It doesn't help that I get laughed because my walking, my voice or my face, the most basics things of my being.
If you're also a ridiculous creature, how do you deal with this?
I just would like this eternal high school to end someday.
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>> No. 26238 [Edit]
>>26233
being snippy gives you cancer
>> No. 26239 [Edit]
>>26238
My post wasn't intended to sound like "it's a pretty basic rule, I can't believe you haven't heard of it you absolute scrub", but more along the lines of "Oh, you haven't read them? Well, that rule is a pretty major one so keep it in mind when posting in the future and expect it to be enforced pretty consistently".
>> No. 26259 [Edit]
>>26239
My bad fam
>> No. 26260 [Edit]
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26260

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24516 No. 24516 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Tomorrow I will be going to a neurologist. I have been keeping up the masquerade and going through the motions for many years already, and I think that I can't fool anyone anymore.
People can tell that I'm not one of them, several incidents in the lasts days have ascertained me of that. My parents told me last night that the have already booked a appointment with a neurologist to whom they are acquainted with, and that is set for tomorrow.
I'm somewhat concerned with this, I'm afraid of what I would have to reveal, and the implications of such, but refusing to go doesn't seem like an option. Can someone who's been through this give some advice? Even if you have never been in a similar situation, I would appreciate your assessment.
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>> No. 26219 [Edit]
So I went to some autism specialist. She said she could give an autism card, that I could use at university and things similar to not need to do these group work projects. She would need to talk to my mother first, and after that it would be necessary that my mother talks with university or whatever else. Should I ask for her to deliver me this card? Thing is, I'm afraid that I might go on a list or something of autists and lose some opportunities in the future, also that my mother would see me differently after this.
>> No. 26220 [Edit]
>>26219
I can understand getting a card like that for certain things(single person dorm room), but avoiding group work seems like shooting yourself in the foot. Almost every job requires working in a group at some point or another.
>> No. 26221 [Edit]
>>26219
>she could give an autism card
Does she mean a medical certificate or a physical card? If it's the latter, I can't say I'd heard of such a thing. Googling it gives a bit more context, but handing over a card to people you meet seems pointless when it'd be easier to just remain silent and be thought as that "weird guy." I don't think the card itself really gives you any specific medical exemption (unlike e.g. those handicap ones), you'd just be relying on the goodwill of the person you present the card to. For universities, that would involve working with their disability/accomodations office to come to some arrangement. That seems orthogonal to having a physical card delivered to you.

> I might go on a list or something of autists
No such thing. I don't think you'd even have to mention it on job applications unless you think it's the type of job that would be hard to perform for you (in which case why apply to it?)

>I ask for her to deliver me this card
If it were me, I would not since there seems to be zero material benefit.

>>26220
Yes I agree that things like single person dorm would be very useful. But unless I'm misunderstanding that would only need proof of medical diagnosis, not a physical card. Group work is also highly overrated; even at uni the majority of people there will do the least amount of work possible. By contrast my experience in the workforce has been a lot more pleasant (probably dependent on the specific worplace as well; a selective firm is going to be more easy to get along with in than a minimum-wage one with little qualifications required) as people will genuinely cooperate to get things done.

Post edited on 16th Dec 2020, 4:07pm
>> No. 26231 [Edit]
>>26221
Well, I meant an actual certificate. Like stating this man has autism verified by X and X.

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