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24308 No. 24308 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Post Cute Anime Boys Every Time you Think About Killing Yourself Because You're Gay v1
>> No. 24315 [Edit]
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24315
Go here, you can be gay all you want.
>> No. 24316 [Edit]
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24316

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24286 No. 24286 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
I killed a roach and left it's body with its spilled viscera to rot because I am too disgusted to clean it up. I know that it's unhygienic and will attract other bugs to it but I just can't be bothered. Forcing yourself to do something you hate requires willpower, and mine has been sucked dry by depression and other negative emotions. Now I understand how some of those hikkikomori and mentally ill people can end up with ridiculously filthy houses. You just can't be bothered to clean one thing, then another, then the bugs help themselves, and before you know it you're living in a dump. This is applicable to any other problems in life too. I like to think of myself as being better off among the "losers" in imageboards but it's not unlikely that I am heading in their direction. I have never been so grateful that humans have the ability to commit suicide.
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>> No. 24288 [Edit]
>I have never been so grateful that humans have the ability to commit suicide.
Not sure why people don't think about this much, but I think people require that same willpower you speak of to actually commit suicide.
>> No. 24289 [Edit]
>>24288
Thats why most hikkikomori are still alive. They just cant be bothered to die.
>> No. 24290 [Edit]
Its not not being bothered to die, but not able to because of their lack of willpower.
>> No. 24291 [Edit]
>>24288
When someone says "if you hate your life so much, why don't you just kill yourself" I have a little analogy.
Imagine you had some condition that caused you pain for every metre you were above sea level. Life is like living in a valley at 1,000m, surrounded all around by mountains of Himalayan proportions. "Why don't you live by the sea?" Because climbing over the mountains would be too painful.

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24128 No. 24128 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Dr Stephanie Cacioppo, director of the Brain Dynamics Lab at the University of Chicago Prizker School of Medicine, puts loneliness in the same category as thirst: a human signal that can be dealt with through our actions. Just as we reach for a drink when we are thirsty or dehydrated, we might be able to take a pill to deal with the consequences of feeling lonely in the future. "Like thirst, loneliness is a biological signal that has evolved to protect our survival," she says.
Her aim, she says, is to reduce the alarm signals in the brain that can result from people feeling lonely to make them better equipped to reach outwards, rather than falling inwards into social isolation. "The goal is not to eliminate loneliness [or thirst]. The goal is to help prevent people from feeling lonely [or thirsty for the analogy]," she says.
Dr Cacioppo is leading a team developing a "loneliness pill" that she hopes will help relieve the more severe symptoms suffered by the acutely lonely. "Loneliness is widespread and contagious. It is an epidemic," she says. Dr Cacioppo stresses her goal is not to stop loneliness, but rather to regulate the ways that feeling lonely affects the mind and body. She says loneliness results from signals to the brain that perceive danger all around us and push us to interact in ways that will cause greater anxiety to ourselves and others. This is where Dr Caccioppo thinks a loneliness pill could help.
Could the cure for loneliness be as easy as popping a pill?
https://8ch.net/4chon/res/292034.html
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>> No. 24149 [Edit]
>>24148
It's unnecessary to force people like that to take pills. The conforming masses will simply ramble on about how people who actually see the truth, or at least think a bit more than average are "crazy" and "dangerous". Forcing pills down people's throats runs too much risk when tools for social control are already so perfected that the elite need not worry, because nobody will listen to them.
>> No. 24150 [Edit]
I wonder how far this will go.

The definition of a "mental illness" grew increasingly broad over the years. Personal traits which would be considerd "weird" or "special" ten years ago are now treated like real illnesses and people affected by them pop pills against the "symptoms".

I really wonder if and when things like laziness and other unlikable personality traits will be labled as a mentall illness and treated like one. In the end that would result in everybody being a flawless pill-addict and everybody who refuses to take these pills being considered a failure.

I think one of the bigger problems for psychology in the next years will be the question where to draw the line between these traits and real mental illnesses.
>> No. 24151 [Edit]
Y'all should consider watching the movie The Congress. It features pills.
>> No. 24265 [Edit]
>>24150
I think we may already be there with laziness. The trick is in the language, because they are always sure to associate it with a recognised "problem". If you go to a psychiatrist and discuss how it is difficult for you to do anything (but they can't prove you are depressed) most likely you will be diagnosed with ADHD-PI (predominantly inattentive) and given amphetamines.
I thought I had hit the jackpot when I was surprised with a dexedrine prescription one day. A few years later I stopped taking it because I have no meaningful goals in life anyway.

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23756 No. 23756 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
The people there are so mean, but I just can't get over the habit. It feels like the user base here is a lot nicer and I relate more. But sometimes I think I like being depressed, maybe just subconsciously or something.. or maybe I like being treated like crap? Damn, i'm just so sad, I can't control my life anymore or anything I do. It's like I dissociate or something.
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>> No. 24180 [Edit]
>>24177
I used to post in a video game community with a bunch of people who all got increasingly intense about internet leftist politics and by the end of it I couldn't even talk about playing games without being accused of not having every single one of my thoughts preoccupied with cop murder and how to overthrow the current order
>> No. 24181 [Edit]
>>24180
The impermanence of internet communities is something that used to vex and frustrate me until I got used to it, which why I wanted to point out to >>24177 that this site maintains it's focus on it's topic because the end users have done their part in berating the moderators and administration when they get out of line and try to bring neurotypical garbage into TC. That and the low profile have kept this site around in a relatively undisturbed state for an anomalously long period of time.
>> No. 24244 [Edit]
>>24177
To be fair a lot of people feel like they're forced to take up the political battle because it's became such an all-pervading aspect of our lives. It used to be you could watch a movie, play a game and not be making some sort of political statement out of it. It's just not the case anymore, hell, you can't even go out to eat without a large chunk of these businesses shoving some sort or message down your throat.

A lot of people, myself included see all this and just find it fun to turn into keyboard warriors because it gets people riled up, it's fun, and gives us something to do even if in the grand scheme of things we're just looking for a way to pass the time. It's kind of like the part in No Longer Human where the main character goes off and joins the communist party. He isn't even that dedicated to the cause but it's some fun mischief to get up to and at least lets him feel like he's doing something other than wasting away so he goes along with it even though his more rational mind realizes it's rather fruitless. Really quite sad when you think about it that way.

We'd be better off without this sort of behavior but even the most rational man occasionally rears his true form as a hairless ape from time to time.
>> No. 24245 [Edit]
>>24180
>cop murder and how to overthrow the current order
Sounds like a fun friday night.

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23506 No. 23506 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Im completely alone all the time and its killing me. No one to talk to not even online. I live with my parents but i have to move soon. I thought i was stronger than this but i was wrong, being alone feels bad. For some reason i didnt have a problem being alone 10 years algo when i was a 18 yr old neet. But now i look back at all the chances i missed to make friends and its really getting to me. Like i have a big hole in my chest.
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>> No. 24156 [Edit]
I can't fit in with anyone. Any community (except for maybe this one, but that's not saying much that I can fit in here and not to metapost but people don't really hangout here, it's more of a check twice daily site and the IRC is full of non-NEETs who are always talking about their university experiences or whatever). Every time I find one I think I can finally fit in with and call "home", something always ruins it for me, the closest I came to fitting into a moderately fast place was the infamous Krautchan /int/ (and it's spinoffs for a short time after it died) but the problems that it had grew and grew until it wasn't fun to browse anymore. I either find a place that I think looks good on the surface that is intolerable once I get to know the community, or is intolerable on the surface. Some examples of the former: at first liveboards (sites running on Meguca and Doushio software, even those sites themselves) seemed like an okay place to hang out and get my social interaction and be less lonely but after sticking with them for about a year and even getting addicted to them at one point I realized how repetitive and cancerous they could be. It didn't help that people liked to latch onto identities and the drama that comes with that, the post quality was also a bit low with the users treating it more like a circlejerk-oriented Discord or IRC channel. Another thing that really bothered me about these was how often off-topic discussions came up, despite a lot of them being otaku-themed and a lot of the users at-least liking anime, things like current events, ethnicity, nationality, sports, meta for other websites (usually 4chan, but sometimes another liveboard they're having drama with) and meta in general were often discussed and often in a very low-quality and non-civil way described as "shitposting" by the users but often with very little humor and played straight unlike the term often entails. These are problems that likely plague every online community but the instant gratification nature of the format probably exacerbates them. Another one that seems deceptively better is pretty much almost every social media website with the exception of Hacker News, (which actually isn't bad but has it's own problems and posting style that you may or may not like depending on your preferences, the
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>> No. 24173 [Edit]
>>24156
Fuck this post hit hard. It really is depressing to see how the internet has turned into tv 2.0
>> No. 24255 [Edit]
I don't understand my brain.
I'm often sad because of bullying but when I isolate myself to escape it I just feel lonely and upset for a different reason.
>> No. 24266 [Edit]
I can't even watch a lot of anime anymore because whenever I see a friendship shown or a group of people having fun I fall into an intense sadness.

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24105 No. 24105 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
The more that I think, the more I realize that I'm a damaged person. I am so broken.

I wonder how difficult it would be to fix myself? I feel like the psychological burdens and trauma on my mind are slowly becoming too much. I'm being defined by them, and my personality withers away.

I don't know if I can lift these psychological chains on my mind. They are becoming more heavy and weighing me down. I'm on the path of decay, and I will probably die prematurely by my own hands through drugs and alcohol.

It's bad when I can't even focus on reading. The one comfort I had as a child. My mind cannot stop with the intrusive thoughts of the trauma. All of my regrets and it just comes crashing down onto me all the time.

I was going through my old hard drive to look at old 4chad pictures. I even found some from old *chans, and I saw a picture of myself.

I don't think I can look at my younger self and tell him that I'm proud of the route that I took. I was stubborn and I had to suffer severely for it. I have sunken so much time into this goal of mine, that I cannot give up now. Even if it brings the end of me.

I don't find much joy in life anymore. I feel like I've already accomplished what I wanted to in life. I had one major and one minor goal. I won't indulge what the minor goal was, but I felt a relief once it was done. That I accomplished what I so truly desperately desired. However, I did not find my salvation in it.

If anything, it brought me more pain. It made me realize how significantly worthless of a human being that I am.
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>> No. 24132 [Edit]
>>24124
maybe op wouldn't be "/so/ - Ronery" if he ever spent time thinking about anyone other than himself instead of attempting to turn his entire life into an endless, self-centered pity party.
>> No. 24135 [Edit]
Anon I think you're trying too hard to be perfect, I've done the same thing before and in many ways I still do. Truth is I'm white weeb trash and there's nothing wrong with that. Certain things are just too ingrained, too central to who we are as people to ever be fixed without discarding everything, like it or not, you're going to have to learn to live with it even if certain things you like or do are rather embarrassing and undesirable.

It's okay to be a failure anon, just be aware of your faults, note them, and try to mediate them so as not to hurt other people.
>> No. 24136 [Edit]
>>24135
No, it's not OK. No one should have to accept living with any of this shit. Fuck that.
>> No. 24138 [Edit]
>>24136
I felt the same way once but past a certain point I wasn't able to make any progress on getting past certain things. I don't know what it is that's bothering you but there's a certain freedom in admitting defeat. I'm not saying you should let it define you, just acknowledge it, accept it, and find a healthy way to live with it that doesn't cause too much harm to others.

I guess what I'm trying to say in a roundabout way is that you should hate the sin, not the sinner. People like us can't help that we're damaged.

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23723 No. 23723 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Did anyone else have a sort of normal life and then spiral into NEETdom and so on?

I was living fairly well, had lots of friends, even had a few 3DPDs. Then crippling depression and anxiety kicked in during my first year of college and you know the rest.

Refrain from mentioned your disgusting 3DPD love-life, nobody cares.
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>> No. 24072 [Edit]
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24072
>>23752
I'm posting this after starting college years late and moving to a new city to force myself intoi a do or die situation.

As I excercised regularly in my NEET years (never before that) people mistook me for being sporty and I was able to 'blend in'. Though I absolutely failed to make close friends as my mind is genuinely trapped in low-emotional involvement.

The stress of realising that even when I force myself to 'fake it' I fail to form close bonds really got to me and the realisation that if I fail I'd be guarenteed dead caught up to me big time. I've spiralled into major phases of depression and minor phases of optimism. As I have had erectile issues since I was 16 (major depression from 16 too) sex was never a major concern for me, so when I mentioned I'd never had sex people looked at me with genuine shock (they actually thought I was a sporty guy or something). While I'd be relativtely OK with close friends and stuff it dawned on me just how far behind I am in terms of social development.

This made me completely resent my family when I went back home over Christmas and I feel I was in fight-of-flight every day to escape the hellish situation I'd been stuck in. I think sites like this are OK if you are progressing however since it sort of acts as a substitute for friendship. Obviously because major mental health issues and thoughts of kms every day my studies are impacted and I'm genuinely concerned I may fail the first semester of Univresity because I can't concentrate. Uni destroyed my schedule and all my fears have caught up to me. I feel the realisation that most other 23 year olds are just starting careers and have had their youth (assuming 23+ is 'adult youth' in terms of being young yet in a career) sort of isolates me too.

It pretty much took me 3 years to recover to the state of ending up at University. I just wanted to work with animals or maybe be a Biologist though staying sane is a lot harder than it should be, moreso considering my miracle reversal of fortune still leaves me below the level of most high schoolers, at least socially.


If you
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>> No. 24100 [Edit]
>>24072
Since you were fit during your NEET years Im assuming your gym was your home or room. Ive been wondering to be a fit NEET aswell, care to share routines, items (if you need any) you used, etc? complete noob btw.

If you did go to gym, dont bother replying because I wont go outside.
>> No. 24101 [Edit]
>>24100
Not him, but you can do pushups, situps, squats in your bedroom. That and eating right is enough to get fit.
>> No. 24106 [Edit]
>>24100

I done it both at home and in the gym. At home I bought a squat rack and weights and followed the program 'stronglifts 5x5'. That's a really simple routine, maybe you could try circuit training stuff too though I find it hard to motivate myself doing it at home (I used to play on the computer between sets).

I joined fitness classes after a year of that and made a complete fool myself regularly (I think) but was so clouded I didn't care since I knew isolation would result in complete misery.

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24086 No. 24086 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
do self-help books actually... help? I'm about to read some and am wondering about your experience with them.
7 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 24096 [Edit]
>>24095
Given the book OP posted he probably DOESN'T want to use pills. That's good advice though.
>> No. 24098 [Edit]
>>24095
The only one I've skimmed is the supposedly legendary "How to make friends" book by Carnegie and all I found was a bunch of sleazy tricks for car salesman such as "use the person's name frequently" – I don't see how that's supposed to help when even holding a conversation is mentally taxing, let alone weaving in these fabrications.

If instead your goal is to get some light philosophy out of it ("how to live you life" kind of advice) then these books might be more suited, although in that case you'd be better off reading some of the great Russian authors like Dostoevsky. Or even some of the very early jordan peterson videos where he actually focused on philosophical frameworks of the bible instead of going off the rails with his newfound fame.
>> No. 24099 [Edit]
>>24098
That book is severely outdated. The problem is most people live in a defined bubble by high school. With the advent of smartphones, it's nearly impossible to break into one of these circles without someone from within shilling for you.

As you go by the mall or local college campus, you will notice that everybody is self-absorbed into their smartphone. Before this invention, this was an easy way to strike up a conversation with someone.

The best way to get friends is through sheer luck. However, you can make some friends in college but you have to be the aggressive and it will probably fail 75% of the time.
>> No. 24115 [Edit]
I've tried several of them and there's a lot of books stuffed with feel good bullshit like 'just be yourself'. Some offer actual good advice and some are a mixed bag. That goes without saying and of course there's the usual 'none of it matters if you don't take action' thing.

I wouldn't discourage anyone from reading them but be prepared to wade through lots of bullshit to find things that are both true and actually applicable to you. A lot of these books seem to be written with middle managers in mind who don't have a clue how the average person actually lives.

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24020 No. 24020 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Who am i? i have no idea. The constant cold pain in my chest turns into a feeling of hopelessness and defeat. It manifests itself into a cage keeping me stuck in the same old ways. A boy who never grew up, and will never change. The feeling is a cry for help. A begging for forgiveness. A feeling that inevitably leads me back to god. A feeling that turns me into an emotionless statue. An overwhelming bearer of bad news. It takes control of my mind and body. I'm a dead man slowly inching his way towards the inevitable destination that warmly welcomes us all. I wake up and feel pain, I exist and feel pain, I go to sleep and feel pain. I become numb for a few moments, and am brought back into the dreaded reality I have created around myself. Whats the answer. How many times now. How many times have I tried to find it. After years and years of thinking. I'm still the same. I won't ever change.
>> No. 24033 [Edit]
>>24020
Find a quiet place and some time. Relax. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath in. Hold it. Let it out. Repeat.
Instead of talking back to the scarred emotions, listen to them. Don't engage with them - if you find yourself doing so, gently step away. Let them be. Let them talk. Hear out everything, until everything has been said. Then - cherish the brief moment of freedom. For once, seek not echoes of your pained mind, but answers. You say you will never change - but what is your obstacle? You say you are lead back to God - can you find strength in Him, whichever faith you are of? What does the pain root from?
Ultimately, even if you feel the most powerless, in the darkest possible place, the one thing you have power over is yourself. It's hard. I know. I'm not here to give you an easy solution. I'm here to try and convince you to try. It's okay if, instead of reaching for the ladder, you slip. Once, twice, maybe more. It's okay. Nobody's here to judge you. Rest, if you need, and try again. Eventually, you'll find a way. Something. Something that gives you that meaning you seek. A path to change, even if slightly. I believe in you, anon. You can make it. You can get out of the darkness - and into the light.

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23806 No. 23806 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
How often do you cry? Do you think it's good to let your emotions out, or should you try to maintain your composure?

I have heard some people say you shouldn't bottle up your emotions, so it's good to let emotions out. But I've heard other people say that the more often you express your extreme emotions, such as anger (yelling) or sadness (crying), the worse it gets. And that refraining from letting these outbursts happen actually helps with your emotional well-being.

What do you think?
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>> No. 23953 [Edit]
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23953
I cry in my sleep now only, I also cry when watching anime. I don’t have strong emotions for real life anymore. But the way anime displays friendships, love, life it gets to me. It strange people like to live in misery and distrust, even with he closest relatives. I don’t understand
>> No. 24028 [Edit]
Very rarely these days. I used to cry a lot but it feels like I can't anymore, and I hate it.
I wish I could go back to when there was still a little hope. When I could feel sad and cry quietly but still believe I had a chance.
I hate that I'm getting used to suffering.
It's not right, nothing is right and I don't want to be OK with any of it.
This disgusting fucking world is winning, like it always does, and I can't do anything to change it.

>>23953
Last year I cried while sleeping for the first time. I was shocked, woke up with wet face and swollen eyes, and that bitter sensation in my chest that I haven't felt in years. I didn't even know it was possible.
Fictional depictions of the things you mentioned also get to me very hard. For this reason I avoided anime and stuff for years now.

I also had a long period of voluntary isolation from imageboards, until now at least a year of complete withdrawal.
I feel horrible and I can't do it anymore. I don't know if I can, or should end this seclusion.
I feel like writing walls and walls of text, to try to put into words all the thoughts and feelings that are just swarming inside of my skull... but I remember I once promised someone here that I'd go away and never pollute the place with my shit again. I'm sorry.

I don't even know where I'm going with this. I came back because I lost to a desperate desire to fish for sympathy and attention. I also realize that what I'm doing is cancerous.
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>> No. 24029 [Edit]
>>24028
> I remember I once promised someone here that I'd go away and never pollute the place with my shit again
What prompted this? The beauty of imageboards is that you can consider everyone an acquaintance but there is no obligation or burden your part. It is like that Japanese saying "ichigo ichie," the interactions are momentary and fleeting but that is what makes it cherished.

>For this reason I avoided anime and stuff for years now.
Slice of Life in particular is touching in the way it can evoke and materialize those suppressed emotions. To me at least it's some sort of cathartic relief. Is the reason you avoid the medium to attempt to avoid bringing up those feelings, and if so to what end? The feelings evoked do end up tinging subsequent days with a painful sort of emptiness, but the memory left is also sort of bittersweet.
>> No. 24030 [Edit]
>>24029
>What prompted this?
A combination of things. At that point I was already going through periods of inactivity before quitting completely.
Mostly because of anxiety and sadness caused by feeling like I don't belong anywhere, being unable to relate to anything and anyone... and maybe most importantly being unable to communicate, to clearly express my thoughts and feelings, and through this to try to find some sense of connection and understanding.
I thought I too often gave in to this temptation of writing convoluted personal blog shit (like I'm doing right now, god damn it) knowing that many would find it annoying.
That guilt is bad enough on its own but I also stress out for hours while struggling with English and trying to compose something comprehensible, often to delete all of it before posting anyway.

So, then there was a conversation about what kinds of posts and posters are harmful to the site, and while reading it I concluded that I probably was one of the bad users.
Of course my influence was practically insignificant, but I thought it was still detrimental no matter how small.
I figured the single best thing I could do for the communities I valued so much would be to just go away.
I hoped this decision would be a right thing to do, that it was for the good of the endangered world of small imageboards not dominated by normals, and that because of this I'd get some solace and a little strength to help me endure my seclusion.
So I said my goodbyes and left.

In the end I swapped one pain for another, it really feels like I excised a chunk of myself and found nothing that could take its place.

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24011 No. 24011 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew

Post edited on 10th Jan 2019, 5:15pm

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