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22575 No. 22575 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
I just want to lay around doing nothing, maybe sleep all day or something like that. I can't though. I have a little voice in me that wont shut up and keeps telling me to do something productive. I'm always working on one thing or another. There's always something to clean or fix or improve, and it stresses me out whenever I'm sitting still for too long. I can't even watch anime without doing one or two other things at the same time. It kind of drives me nuts. I can't stop thinking about all the things I should be doing with my time, even now I feel like I'm wasting time by typing this when I could be working on a dozen other things. I wish I didn't have to feel like this all the time. I wish I could just do nothing and not feel guilty about it.
5 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 22583 [Edit]
I'm the same way but I'm fine with it. It's great to keep reaching for higher heights, quite enjoyable. Given you have to enjoy the process of reaching said heights more than getting to the heights themselves or you'll get into trouble.

People like us need to be careful because we're prone to being taken advantage of. If life is game theory we play the cooperate card too much. People notice and we're easy prey to rack up points on.

Altruism is a lie; an elaborate mechanism of human parasitism. All humans are parasites. The defective humans, that is, the ones who aren't find themselves weeded out of the gene pool quite easily. And if they aren't they find themselves attached to a mate that doesn't give a shit about them. You're "a great guy" because you put up with their bullshit, you let them do whatever they want. You get the point. If you don't fight back, you don't compete, you're on the chopping block. Both literally and figuratively.

The only solution for people like us is to intentionally cultivate selfishness and narcissism. Otherwise people just take, and take, and take. Until you're drained of all drive, all love of life. And they lack the soul to even realize what they've done.
>> No. 22584 [Edit]
>>22581
>I do that with crappy anime. The worse it is the less attention I pay to it.
Why would you watch it if you don't like it?

>as long as you can still hear what they're saying anyway.
You mean you can understand Japanese?
>> No. 22585 [Edit]
>>22582
Well, my computer is pretty slow so I cannot do other things while anime is on, not that I would if I could.

If you set madVR to max settings then maybe it will take all the resources of your computer, disabling you to do other things and thus forcing you to only watch.
>> No. 22586 [Edit]
>>22584
>Why would you watch it if you don't like it?
Well like I said the less I like it the less I watch it. If I really don't like it then I just drop it.
As for why at all. It can help pass the time even if you're not looking directly at it.

>You mean you can understand Japanese?
A little. Enough to have a basic understanding of what's going on and follow along a bit.

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22564 No. 22564 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Does anyone else just feel sad for no apparent reason? I just don't know what's wrong and it's making me feel worse. And it's really getting in the way of my life.
>> No. 22565 [Edit]
yeah
>> No. 22566 [Edit]
There's a lot to be sad about.
>> No. 22570 [Edit]
Yes.
I've realized that I have mood cycles throughout the day. At some point I'll feel chipper and I'll be quite talkative and productive, but I always mellow out eventually and just sit and mope/shitpost. Sometimes I wake up like that and then get happy, but the transition always seems completely arbitrary either way
>> No. 22573 [Edit]
Yes. And I have plenty of things that I should be doing too.

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22558 No. 22558 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Remember anon, just because you're not good at something doesn't mean there aren't other things you might be good at!
>> No. 22559 [Edit]
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22559
You can't ruin a perfectly good thread with shitty premise like that. This is now a sushi thread, where cute girls make cute sushi things.
>> No. 22563 [Edit]
It certainly feels like i'm not good at anything
>> No. 22567 [Edit]
I know what I'm good at. The problem is I don't belong in society.

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22527 No. 22527 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Do you think you might be cursed in some form or another? If so, in what way?
2 posts and 1 image omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 22572 [Edit]
>>22536
Haha, I did that too, the learning human behaviour thing.
I never did look people in the eye when they spoke, so I tried really hard to but then I questioned which eye? I can't look into both at the same time; the middle of the brow? but that's not the eye and they probably think I'm weird for looking at their brow. So I just went back to looking away.

I haven't noticed your observations of people, maybe because we live in different cultures, but I did notice that normies have such collectivist fashion sense.
>> No. 22590 [Edit]
I think so, but I'm not entirely sure.

Maybe I'm just making a big thing out of my awful luck. My luck does get pretty awful at times, though.
>> No. 22607 [Edit]
>>22572
>they probably think I'm weird for looking at their brow
Unless you're really up close with someone, I doubt they'd notice.
>> No. 22638 [Edit]
>>22572
I'm not sure how I missed this post, but I also don't know what to look at when talking to someone. I sometimes just let my eyes scan their face, but I sometimes just can't do it and look around to avoid looking at one eye for too long. I try not to look at anybody for too long because looking at people trying to converse with me sort of makes me a bit nervous. I don't like it when people look at me, though, so that could also be a big part of it.

I'm a huge train wreck of a person.

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20558 No. 20558 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
What's it like to have friends?
Do you guys have any? If not do you even want any?
38 posts and 5 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 22495 [Edit]
A few people I talk to online and that's pretty much it. I used to have a pretty good friend in high school so I do want more, but I'm kind of lazy to make the effort now and less people will seem to tolerate my weirdness here. That friend cut me off for good in the middle of 2015.

The memories were pretty good I'd say. If you can talk about anything with your friends, it's really like stepping into another world as silly as it sounds.
>> No. 22506 [Edit]
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22506
Constant disappointment. It's a few years (up to even 5 in my case) of bonding, fun and laughing together. Then they change and find other cliques to get into. I've been left in this dust to the point where I only have two, and I type to them daily about gripes, and they do the same to me. I'm hoping to god this isn't normal because otherwise I sympathize with a lot of people out there. Why is it so hard for people to stay the same? Why can't they be content with just one best friend? I'm sure I'll get over it soon enough.
>> No. 22534 [Edit]
>>22506
While I do think it is normal I don't think it applies to everybody. Though most probably do change if they get the chance to. I've had people undergo great changes and still stay the same, relatively speaking. Most people seem to change every so often, though. I think there's some craving for change within those people. It might be for the better not to be with them anyway, since they seem to want something else in their lives. The worst thing is that it can happen in an instant without warning. I guess that's my reasoning for not caring when someone successively starts cutting contact.
>> No. 22535 [Edit]
>>22506
>>22534
I mean, it's normal that people change.

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22329 No. 22329 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
I'm so emotionally dead that I crave being angry at the world.

Could you recommend something that would help me get into a hateful mindset?
2 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 22345 [Edit]
>>22343
That'll do it. Bonus points for reading the comments normies leave on news articles.
>> No. 22347 [Edit]
>>22344
>Anyone with half a mind would be mad as hell and not be able to take it anymore.
Thanks Mr. Beale.
>> No. 22521 [Edit]
>>22329
Desire is an emotion.
>> No. 22524 [Edit]
File
Removed
>>22329
gore and CP
Not gonna lie, it is losing its sting a little. Be careful.

also the news, or drugs if you want anything at all and not just anger

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22420 No. 22420 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Do you ever talk to people offline about your online friends, or mention them at all to anyone? Do you think family would consider you crazy if your only friends were internet people?
4 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 22498 [Edit]
When I used to I'd just refer to them as my cousin's friend if I ever had a story to tell about them. Otherwise, no I didn't specify it was my internet friend.
>> No. 22504 [Edit]
Depends on the person and situation. Some are more open to online friends than others and a lot of times there's no real need to specify so I don't.

On the occasion it's apt to mention they're online it's usually something along the lines of "A buddy of mine I game with out in [state/country]" then some reason why their location is relevant. Like "haha those crazy commies in cali".

All my friends are online though. I think at one point it used to bother my family but now they've just accepted it. People I have to associate with offline would probably find it weird if they found out but I don't think it'd come as too much a surprise to them.
>> No. 22515 [Edit]
I mention them in passing like "someone online I talk to said X" but never in more detail like what websites I go on or who they are. I think my friend thinks I go on 4chan mainly which is pretty amusing.
My father doesn't believe that I have friends online, he thinks you have to be face to face to really connect with someone. He said that I don't even know their real names so how can we be friends.
I remember he once told me he used to have a friend as a teenager that everyone just called by his nickname and he couldn't actually remember his real name and doesn't think anyone even knew it. So I don't think he gets it
>> No. 22557 [Edit]
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22557
The very few people offline I know consider my online hobbies extremely weird, for obvious reasons - being a disgusting weeb and failure at life.

As for online, I'm eager to socialize (IRC, namedfag forums) .. at first. But once the circlejerk gets too .. jerky, I flee. Hence the preference for anon boards.

Anybody with similiar abandonment issues?

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20050 No. 20050 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit] [Last 50 posts]
Do you have dreams in your life? Did you ever in the past?
50 posts and 2 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 22470 [Edit]
>>20162
I'm craving for the past now a lot too even almost 4 years after high school, mostly memories of 11th-12th grade. I was never the type of guy that did the normal fun social activities but for some reason I just haven't moved on from then.
>> No. 22488 [Edit]
>>22470
Me too buddy, me too.
>> No. 22493 [Edit]
>Dreams in my life
You mean, Martin Luther King-type shit or the one where I'm in high school with no clothes on and the teacher is Bill Nye and he wants me to roll a donut?
>> No. 22510 [Edit]
>>20859
reading this, I realised it was my post from a year and a half ago

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22499 No. 22499 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Let's start a book club, Tohno-chan!

Meeting place and time are currently undecided, though I'm thinking that a Skype group will be sufficient. Text only, since it might get hectic otherwise. I might be a bit optimistic, but I think it'll be a fun experience.

Let's read roughly a hundred pages a week and meet up weekly to discuss the book. My schedule will be as flexible as yours, so whenever is the best time for you guys will the best time for me. If a hundred pages sounds a lot, or the book takes a lot more digesting, we can readjust.

Here are the books I have in mind:

The Fifth Head of Cerberus
The Intuitionist
The Rediscovery of Man
Ficciones

Any other book ideas are welcome, but this is just a list to start us off.
>> No. 22500 [Edit]
eh, i'd be interested if you want to discuss books in irc or something. i'm not installing skype on my computer, that's been exploitable for a while
>> No. 22501 [Edit]
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22501
I'd be up for it.

I've read Ficciones, it's very good, and as a collection of short stories works well even if people haven't read the entire thing. Haven't heard of any of the others, but I'd give them a chance.

Why bother with Skype? We can just post in this thread, or maybe use IRC if people especially want real-time discussion.
>> No. 22502 [Edit]
>>22500
>>22501
I like the idea of real-time feedback, but I think it'd be slow and dead so a thread will probably suffice.

Do you have any preference on what book to read?
>> No. 22505 [Edit]
I'm down for using this thread too, too hard to coordinate a live chat. Always plenty of people that can't make it for one reason or another and we probably won't have too many people to begin with. Plus it helps keep the board a bit more active.

I don't really have a preference for which book to pick, they all look decent. Maybe throw up a poll or just use a random number generator to decide?

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22446 No. 22446 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
How do you ease the pain, Tohno-chan?
8 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 22484 [Edit]
Oxycontin, LSD, cute anime girls, tea, and sometimes I like to play the guitar
>> No. 22485 [Edit]
>>22468
Antidepressants work?
>> No. 22489 [Edit]
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22489
>>22468
>>22478
>>22484
>>22485

>>>/420/
tohno-chan.com/420
>> No. 22492 [Edit]
>>22485
It makes it easier to help yourself because you're not physiologically feeling shit all the time. It doesn't give you skills or make you happy, you have to do that yourself.

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21847 No. 21847 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Just like the title asks, how do you deal with those lonely nights? Do you hug your dakimakura? For those of you without one, what do you do? Hug a regular pillow? A stuffed animal? Clump the sheets together and hug those? How do you cope?

I myself usually hug the body pillow I got from Bed Bath, & Beyond. It doesn't really make me feel any less lonely but it's nice for the simple reason that I get to hug something that my arms can actually wrap around, some nights I hug the stuffed doll I made myself. It isn't as effective as it used to be at making any negative emotions less intense but I try to stick with it anyway since it's very important to me.

How about you?
20 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 22232 [Edit]
>>22211
I was not aware one was a high number.
>> No. 22238 [Edit]
>>22232
Ive seen at least two here
>> No. 22241 [Edit]
>>22238
I found that second one you might have been talking about but I didn't make that thread.
>> No. 22473 [Edit]
Read for an hour then sleep, hugging a pillow to my chest as i lay on my back listening to asmr videos on youtube

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