I can endure suffering
I can resist temptation
I have elaborate amazing ideas
I wish I could implement any of them
> This hasn't paid off so far but I hope it will in the future.
All my troubles in life step from this, you get told proper behavior, and then you do it, and it turns out its not realistic, because no one does it, especially not the people who tell you to. Every generation it gets more severe, parents did X, children of X aren't allowed to do it, the next generation gets told something else they aren't supposed to do. As it turns out if you do what you are told is right you miss all social milestones and become incompatible with everyone else who did "bad stuff." It makes me made that successful people tell others not to do X because it will ruin your future, when they did those same things and have a successful life. I view this as a tactic to sabotage other people so that they can't become competitors in the mating game.