>>25554
So like a child without any responsibilities? Dogs don't have hands, anon. Even if you cut off your own hands, at least there's prosthetics.

>>25555
Exactly, I've reached the point in my life where I feel I'm spiritually broken and my attempts at functioning in society have backfired. Some reason my motivation went to zero.

I do wonder what happened to that Boomer the dog guy though, he's been inactive for years.

I'm not a furry but I wonder if reality always catches up with people eventually, I know ulililia it did. Adulthood was worse than I imagined as I figured I'd only get major physical deterioration in my 40s and above rather than 20s...

It might happen in the afterlife. I'd think my sort of similar wish would come true like that.

I would rather be a cat and stay home all the time

>>25725
An example of that would be Intelligence. IQ has been falling in developed countries for a while, since the 70s even according to some research.

>>25725
A very large number of animal species are "conscious". What sets humans apart most is language and the intelligence to abstract things, not consciousness. Decline in the species is also arbitrary. Plus, humans have been around for such a short period, and our own perspective is so warped, that we don't see the big picture. Even if we were "declining", that may just be a short term trend followed by massive gains in whoever is left.

>>25726
That can largely be attributed to demographic changes.

Post edited on 6th Jul 2020, 7:59pm

>>25111
Working at a grocery store really opens your eyes to how retarded the general population is. They're like bugs, they have no self awareness and are absolutely ignorant.

>>25739
I think any job that has you working around lots of people will do that. Just hanging out somewhere long enough will show you how bad people can be.

>>25699
Forgive me for misspeaking here when I implied you said tc is perfect, which you didn't, so ignore that part. Sorry.

>>25699
>>25700
What part should I pay attention to then? TC is far from perfect and? If there's more to it, like something that's better, i'd like to know.

>>25694
Can you give a concrete example of the cynicism you're referring to? It doesn't seem to leak out of /so/ too much, and even within /so/ the jadedness is of a more "constructive" nature than places like wizchan, where discussions (excluding the increasingly large fraction of tourists) are both more fatalist and less interesting.

Consequently I'd tend to agree with >>25698 in that – as far as I've found – there isn't really a better place for discussion in the same niche of topics. Despite the notion of "outcasts" comprising a large part of this site's thematic core, even if you were to look beyond that and stick to e.g. /navi/ or /an/ there's unparalleled signal to noise ratio. As a whole it may not be perfect, but I'd be hard-pressed to think of an aspect that could be improved; I'd be interested to hear if you think otherwise.

>>25701
I don't really feel the need to talk to anyone on a public board, and barely do at the moment anyway. I'd just post nowhere is what I mean.

>>25156
>Or will your soul just vanished back to nothingness?
This one, except I don't believe in the soul. Your consciousness will stop existing though, yeah.

There's no "after" you die. Not for you anyways. So the nothing part, except it's not as nice as all that because "vanishing into nothing" sounds like you actually get to rest in death. Instead the only rest you'll ever get is whatever you can scrounge up while still alive. If your life is/was miserable that's all it will ever be, and death can't save you from anything. Hell, chances are even if "you" do manage to embrace death someone just like you will pop up again somewhere after some number of eternities, feeling as if no time has passed at all.

Only way out of this would be if somehow some godlike being or principle existed in the fabric or outside of this universe actively intending salvation of souls we don't even know we have. I desperately want to believe, but it doesn't seem likely.

I think you just shut off and that's it, nothing more nothing less.

>Do you believe you will be reunited with your waifu on blessed 2D realm?

i can only dream. there is a part of me that is truly hopeful that one day we will finally be able to be together, i just have to figure out how to get to her

After watching this lecture https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXiHStLfjP0 I've been reading The Master and His Emissary which is about the left and right brain hemisphere and how the left is taking over, and it's made me wonder about some things.

I've officially been diagnosed with schizotopy, although it might as well have been schizoid, and in the end I don't really feel it. I can relate to the things in the wiki article as well, but something seems to be off about it, as if it's really just one symptom listed as many. It could probably be described with "wanting to connect, but somehow being unable to". For some reason deep feelings like being hungry for love and having intense need of being involved with others are combined with being aloof and withdrawn which suggests the disconnect and also a wanting for it not to be so. It's like there's a war going on between the part that wants to connect and the part which wants to disconnect; it's like a war between the right and left hemisphere, in which the left hemisphere is winning.

I've been thinking lately how my surroundings coincide with my mental state. It's like my mind is closed, just as I've closed myself away from the world. Back when my parents got divorced, my dad kept a fairly large house and got a 3DPD soon after. I never ended up getting along with the 3DPD for different reasons, and most of the time I was secluding myself in my room on the upper floor with the 3DPD having the entire bottom floor, at least that's how I saw it. I never invited anyone over ever because I wasn't happy, but I didn't want to show it either. I couldn't talk to my parents either, and me and my sister was on bad terms as well. To sum it up I ended up secluded physically and emotionally, and I still am to this day. And while I call it seclusion, what it really is is a lack of connecting, a lack of seeing and being seen, hearing and being heard, feeling and being felt, a lack of physical, emotional and mental connection. I bottle things up, have a hard time voicing my thoughts, which in turn secludes me more.

If you live like someone who's mentally ill, you become mentally ill.

>>25606
>it's like a war between the right and left hemisphere

I think I always thought about the same you are talking but in completely different terms; more like the confrontation between expectations and reality. It's like the suicide dilemma, the suicide mostly loves life but because loves life that much he can't keep living in what it is a bad substitute of it or of the ideal he has of it.
For a more simple example, it's like having an exquisite palate and being given dry bread and nothing else. You will turn depressed and stop eating, then someone who can't catch the situation will say "this guy hates food".

>>25605
Question is then, why it did meet those parameters before? They just changed the parameters? I don't know but I can't help but feel it had nothing to do with a serious analysis or scientific methodology but because society just changed their views and they adapted to it.

>>25608
>They just changed the parameters?
The revisions to the DSM is a reflection of how plastic pychopathology as a whole is. For example paraphilias like sadomasochism used to be broadly represented but today a distinction is made between atypical sexual interest and a disorder. Earlier revisions routinely receive criticism for arbitrary definitions of normality, and the field as a whole was very also slow to adapt to new research on homosexuality.


It's a bit like how left-handedness used to be taught out of schoolchildren through the 1970's.

>>25370
You Aren't thinking of the one that turns g0d into Haruhi are you?

damn it. i thought it was the other way around

i am not smart

>>25367
>I tried editing the post, seems to be a word filter for the herb
First filter I like.
By the way, I get what you're saying, those dreams I mentioned before have those same qualities as well, and I have also came up with similar explanations for the phenomena.

My brain does not run out of steam, I never feel tired. Sometimes my brain switches from philosophizing to thinking in images, that's the point when I am able to dream for a few hours. Some kind of perfect idea, which I still have to comprehend yet, doesn't let me rest.

>>25472
Probably not.
Sounds similar to what I feel like and I haven't died yet. It appears to be mostly mental. Shit life syndrome.

>>25472
I'm having it too and I was absolutely terrified at the beginning when it started to show itself this year. It feels like my mind is associating sleep with death, which is the reason for me waking up after every two hours. Every dream ends with a shocking sound, a loud door slam, a waking word, a loud tone.
Lying on back is the most comfortable position.
Eating less doesn't help at all, the superfluous energy stays there for the auto-shock therapy.

The problem is deemed to be a mental condition.

>>25473
>>25474
Yes, I think it has to be the same thing you described, nightmares included. I will try lying back but I have never slept like that in my life, it feels weird.
There's something I don't get, I'm not particularly unhappy and just a few years ago I was a lot worse. Right now I'm enjoying the confinement of last month. I have less stress than ever, no doubt about that, then why it has to happen now?

I just started getting nightmares again this week. They are like re-experiencing certain experiences from many years ago. There was quite some time since I last had them, and I was even starting to think those would be past matters, what a thing. I don't feel anything in particular with regards to my body, just the nightmares themselves. I don't know whether the technical term would be bad dreams but whatever.

>>25446
Tiny child who came out of a plant is another one. Thumbelina, The Tale of the Bamboo Cutter, Momotaro.

>>25445
I wasn't thinking about structure, I don't know enough about film theory to notice that.
It's something more obvious. There's always a man who goes from a lower point to an high one. Then he meets his hubris; depending on the movie, sometimes he gets destroyed by it, or redeems himself before that. He always mets a woman and starts a family, the woman always acts the same way (probably quite realistic though) and at some point it will get in conflict with the protagonist, because 1)economic reasons 2)not spending enough time with family/doing dangerous work or lifestyle for family. And she will abandon him and take the kids with her. There's also some rare variants without children or with children dying, but with similar results.
Just think all the (good or even great) movies with those elements, movies that can be completely different in setting and themes.
Think about Goodfellas, Amadeus, Scarface, The Lord of War, Barry Lindon, it's all there and that's just thinking about really good movies.

>>25445
It's also easier/safer to stick with a known structure than to risk something novel.

The only consolation I can give myself is that there might be a path to power that can physically and metaphysically re-write reality.

>>25260
Probably shouldn't post this in the optimism thread but my dad isn't as lucky.

>>25269
Just use all the time you have left and spend it together. Don't miss the chance if there's anything you needed to talk with him about, but never did. Nothing left to do but to try to be close and support each other. Makes it easier both for those who die and those who live afterwards.

>>25272
It's a little too late, he's in a semi-conscious state. His condition deteriorated rapidly and suddenly, nobody suspected anything and he was just fine until not too long ago. We have a dysfunctional relationship and I've been estranged to him but it's funny how your feelings could play out at times like this. I'm trying to make the best of what little time there is but I try to avoid my honest feelings since there is quite a bit of bitterness, I'm just trying to put him at ease as much as I can. There's so much mixed feelings in me that I can't comprehend. Thank you for your reply though, it helps me feel a little more at ease.

>>25265

The doctors say that she needs more exams in two months, but I fear that she will need go through a surgery. As for myself, I'm quite anxious because, I will go to a cram school the entire year so I can prepare myself to college admittance exams. I need study a lot of math to pass on it and I'm horrible with math, I'm anxious, and I think I need study at least 5 hours a day after the cram school so I can get a good score.
I'm still worried about mom. I can't lose her now since I'm not prepared financially and emotionally to lose here right now.

>>24072

This is me, I've improved even further.

However, I suddenly had a loss of motivation and despite being really happy mentally I couldn't focus while studying.

After this I had a bit of a breakdown and am still in a really depressive phase, the most insane thing aboout success is how the standards keep rising higher and higher.

I don't know if this is just me but I feel I'm always wanting more. However, I think I'm internally broken from my parents arguing during my childhood and me locking myself in my room for all of high school moreorless.

I felt SO close to a true victory of happiness! I guess my latent introversion denies me.

This thread sucks and is one of the worst on tohno-chan. It doesn't matter how hard somebody had it in life or whatever. It doesn't matter. Normalcattle are different in their dominant priorities and mentality. The anon here who spewed something about empathy even expressed that difference without realizing it. I hope that person has left since 2018. The lives and opinions of normalcattle only matter as much as they interfere with your passions.

Post edited on 13th Oct 2020, 3:13pm

>>25979
The hate is strong with this one.

>>25980
Yeah I'm full of hate. Posts like this >>23732 are disturbing to me. At least they probably left.