NEET is not a label, it's a way of life!
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21407 No. 21407 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Dose anyone else ever feel like the universe wants them to be miserable?
The only reason I'm not an atheist is because I feel like there has to be someone up there who gets off on taking diarrhea shits all over my life every time anything slightly nice happens, or just for the hell of it even.

I'm at the point where I get scared if anything too good happens because I just know something bad is about to happen in turn. I've gotten pretty used to bad things happening for the most part but it almost seems like accepting it and not reacting just pisses off the cosmos and makes it go overdrive on fucking with me to push me over the edge. I feel like a lab rat constantly being poked for a reaction.

I've long since stopped looking forward to anything or allowing myself to be excited. Everything is a disappointment or doesn't work out. I don't even know if I'm even capable of feeling 'hope' anymore. I'm long past dead inside. With each passing day I sit here just waiting for what life is going to throw at me next.

Post edited on 14th Feb 2016, 6:49pm
2 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 21427 [Edit]
To quote Boethius -- the greatest pain is remembering what one has lost, and the greatest joy is self-possession. Does that reflect your thoughts at all?
>> No. 21428 [Edit]
I think about this a lot myself

Perhaps it's just foolishness, but I often wonder if I did something wrong to deserve how crappy my life can be at times. I often wonder if there really is a god and he has forsaken me for my Atheism, or if Karma is real and I'm doing something bad or evil without realizing it.
>> No. 21431 [Edit]
No, thats silly. The universe doesn't want to punish you. The universe is indifferent.
>> No. 21668 [Edit]
Not OP but thank you for posting

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21423 No. 21423 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
If you had to guess, how many people around the world would you say killed themself's today?
>> No. 21424 [Edit]
Too many to count.
>> No. 21425 [Edit]
Valentine's day is mostly an American thing. On the world scale the spike is not very high.

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20298 No. 20298 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Do you guys ever become extremely depressed several times a day when your memory makes you remember all the retarded, stupid and shameful shit you did back in the days? How do you guys deal or have dealt with this? I have been having these flashbacks of things I did or say many years ago and they have haunted me ever since. I can't deal with them or forget them, so I get this anxiety issue where I just want to dissapear or run away to a place where nobody I know will ever find in order to never have to deal with the things I did in my past ever again.
31 posts and 7 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 20991 [Edit]
It's not even "back in the days" anymore. Things that only happened maybe yesterday become a source of crushing shame for me, on top of all the run-of-the-mill kid on the internet stuff. I even cringe at things I've said on this website.
>> No. 21016 [Edit]
I sometimes make weird noises when I remember a shameful moment. Now, it's not bad when I'm at home, I'm used to talking to myself, but it also can happen outside. Usually the voice is like "aaaaaaaargh".
>> No. 21018 [Edit]
I do this too & I'm probably going to look back on it in a few years and cry, just like everything else
>> No. 21386 [Edit]
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Over the years I've been doing shit I regret on a daily basis from mistakes to decisions that have caused me and others great harm while most recover from things I've done I do not really recover. I can't be very forgiving with myself for anything I've done whether it was something I said or something I did the past is not something I can change and I never seem to learn my lesson I keep doing shit I regret. Even recently stuff I did will probably haunt me for a long time or the rest of my days. I don't have a real way to cope with feelings of shame, regret, or dread that I'll do something again. I can hold onto something for years usually resentments of people or things that happened. As a result I suffer from depression and I feel I may be developing anxiety now because the future looks very dark for me I feel I'll just keep making mess ups because I don't know how to get what I want without hurting someone in the process.

>so I get this anxiety issue where I just want to dissapear or run away to a place where nobody I know will ever find in order to never have to deal with the things I did in my past ever again.
I've been wanting to do that OP, I want to move to some desolate isolated place and start over because of all the that is on my mind constantly but I feel even than I'd mess that up to.

No. 20044 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
my mechanic knows I'm a socially awkward beta who likes to avoid conflict so I think he intentionally rips me off extra because he knows I won't do anything about it
>> No. 20045 [Edit]
Maybe get a different one? Possibly at a place where you don't directly interact with the mechanics.
>> No. 20113 [Edit]

That would mean going to some place like Pep Boys where you are getting ripped off no matter who you are. Finding a more honest mechanic is a better endeavor.
>> No. 20120 [Edit]
If you have an old car learn mechanic and diy.
>> No. 21378 [Edit]
Just tell em "Look I'm tired of your shit carlos, just fix my car already"

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20209 No. 20209 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
My parents are doing so many things for my younger sibling that they never did when I was growing up. Now it's too late to fix a lot of my problems.

They're helping her apply to college. They're going to pay for her college. They've given her tips on applications and resumes. They make sure she's involved in their local circles and help her do networking. They make sure she gets help for her shortcomings. They make sure she has emotional support. They spend time with her. They don't yell at her. I wish they did these things with me. But they didn't.

It just makes me so angry and jealous and I don't know what to do or feel. I feel like their actions indicate that I'm not even a person.

Post edited on 7th Jun 2015, 9:20pm
6 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 20227 [Edit]
Most women? I don't think so... I think it can seem that way if you spend all your time on the internet, like us, though...
>> No. 20228 [Edit]
He's right they do, many simply do it without even realizing it.
>> No. 21377 [Edit]
Tell those to two exactly what they are putting you trough
Get your parents in a room sit em down no sister aloud, tell them not to give any input until you have gotten everything out, just spill it on them. then hear what they have to tell you.
>> No. 21381 [Edit]
>while women do indeed do better in some professions
>why people think that women are either equal to men or better
>think that it is a shared delusion among society
Uh, what the fuck? This is the most inexplicable shit I've read in a while. Surely the feminist propaganda where you're from can't be this blatant and insane.

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21083 No. 21083 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Lately I have been feeling more and more like a child. Increasingly simpler things have been making me happy, like familiar foods and memories of places I have enjoyed. Even doing something like consciously sitting on my couch now makes me happy. I don't do anything weird, like making extra effort to behave or dress like a child, it just happens mentally.

Does anyone else find themselves feeling the same way?
3 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 21096 [Edit]

I had never feel like a child, nor like a teen or an adult, I have always felt very out of place, like if something was very wrong with me.
>> No. 21105 [Edit]
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I felt like a child in my late teens-early 20s, but was because I was doped up and treated like a retarded baby by my parents. I would be an excellent example of someone who was severely psychologically and emotionally abused, and ended up being broken.

Outside of that, though, I don't feel like any age. Before the aforesaid period, I felt older, and I now feel older again. I feel as if I've been anything and everything in my 32 years.

I guess what is kind of childish is that I don't have any kids/relationship and I don't have a job, but I'm wise enough to know that those things do not make you a worthwhile person in any way, at least on the inside. They simply make you more useful to others. I suppose that is what a real adult is supposed to be: something to be used. That is how most people judge others, it seems. When people know that I have no job and no kids, most see me as a loser. But you know what? The rest play a game where even if you win, you lose, and I won the game by realizing it isn't worth winning in the first place. Or at least, so I tell myself.

I just try to contemplate things now, and see if there is more to this world, or the mind, that most people realize. I don't any tangible goals outside of getting a book published, and I guess that being simple like that makes me enjoy life a bit more.
>> No. 21112 [Edit]
I think it is fair to note that many people achieve self-fulfillment in being of use to others.

I think, more than anything, people are most fulfilled when they have a goal, and they are actively approaching it. When that goal is defined by having a positive impact to society, the individual will have feelings of satisfaction when they do stuff like volunteering, effective donations, etc. If your purpose is in wealth or power, people will feel great accumulating more wealth or power, regardless of the objective gain. And if someone's purpose is in being great at their job, they will find happiness in striving to be their best.

However, all of these are dependent on society allowing the individual to pursue their purpose, preferably unmolested. If someone is trying to be an angel in a black hole of society, it might just wear them down. If you try doing your best at a dead-end job, you will most likely be rewarded with nothing more than more work (which might be OK for some). If you are a pawn and try to play the king, you will more likely wind up with the Queen going off with your head.

For NEETs, your passive existence is inherently opposed by society, both in economic and emotional relationships. You pretty much have to support your own sense of worth, because society will ignore and deprive you for disengaging from it. As most humans need some external sense of purpose, most permanent NEETs tend to be dysfunctional in a way that weakens this link.
>> No. 21376 [Edit]
Every time I catch my self falling into boredom anon.

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21309 No. 21309 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Do any of you ever feel like you just don't know what you want out of life? Maybe you feel like something's missing/wrong but you don't know what it is?

I've had issues with depression off and on for a long time, and have tried to work through it and fix what's wrong on my own.
I thought I knew why I felt like such shit, I thought I knew what was missing from my life. What I found however was the closer I got to the things I thought I wanted the more uncomfortable and filled with regret I became.

I think I may be starting to finally accept that there's really nothing at all missing from my life, but that society, family, and the media would have one believe they're not happy unless they live like a normalfag with a 3dpd and a job they hate.
I know deep down I don't want any of that crap and there's no reason why I shouldn't stay a weeaboo virgin NEET for life, but I feel like I've been tricked and lead astray into believing that's the wrong way to live.
This life style, being glued to a computer all day and having next to no social interaction... it really actually isn't so bad. It's realizing that which is the hard part.
4 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 21335 [Edit]
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Don't believe too much in what other people say, we're made the same, remember? What may hurt you, may also hurt me.

You seem like a great person. People like you show trust, humility and else which words fail me.
Trust your own words, your feelings, put yourself above all else but don't stomp others, this is easy for you.
Ironically, it's almost impossible for normals, they become blind in themselves, turning a shadow of what they once were. A stomping machine.

I'll tell you this much, i came to be to make a person the happiest i could and so i did. This is truly what i wanted the most in life, the answer that i was looking for, i can die happy any time, as soon as my final blood ties are gone.
>> No. 21336 [Edit]
Fuck yeah, brother.
>> No. 21338 [Edit]
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Who knows op.

To want nothing. Just to wait, until there is nothing left to wait for. Just to wander, and to sleep. To let yourself be carried along by the crowds, and the streets. To follow the gutters, the fences, the water's edge. To walk the length of the embankments, to hug the walls. To waste your time.
To have no projects, to feel no
impatience. To be without desire, or resentment, or revolt. In the course of time your life will be there in front of you: a life without motion, without crisis and with- out disorder, a life with no rough edges and no imbalance. Minute by minute, hour after hour, day after day, season after season, something is going to start that will be without end: your vegetal existence, your cancelled life.

>> No. 21665 [Edit]
>Do any of you ever feel like you just don't know what you want out of life? Maybe you feel like something's missing/wrong but you don't know what it is?

I think so. I don't even know, though, man. It feels like I don't want anything. I am living an objectively good life, NEETing off my dad, I'm able to spend all day in my room on the computer, I have plenty of food and water, the living space is not filthy or anything. Hell, I do not even do many chores, just doing things when my dad knocks on my door to ask me too, which I doubt is even half the time those chores are done.

I don't know what to do, nothing is appealing. Mostly I just play solitaire nowadays. Imageboards are dull, I have no hobbies or interests so there is nothing to read there. I used to think I liked video games, but now all I play is Counter-Strike, and not much of it, either. I used to think I liked to read, but since 2014 I have only read a handful of books, and none in the past year or so. I'm able to watch movies and TV shows, but I don't pay attention half the time, mostly I have them on the main monitor and play solitaire on the secondary one, and I don't care to discuss the shows, anyways. I listen to music while playing solitaire most of the time, but mostly the same shit over and over. I am too stupid to form any actual opinions, or have any thoughts about the artfulness of the pieces, or think of any meaning or depth for the movies and music, so it's even more pointless to try and discuss them on imageboards.

All I do nowadays is think about people I used to know, things I used to do. I replay these over and over in my mind. Sometimes I imagine them playing out differently. When I do that normally I'll really flesh it out.

It seems like the present and potential of the future are meaningless to me, instead I masturbate to the past and daydreams of what could have been. I'd say that these daydreams could be what I want out of life, but I don't have any drive to actually pursue any of it. It would not be too difficult to do, I don't think, but my imagination seems to be good enough. Content to waste my time, lost thinking about not wasting my time. Or maybe that is all just beating around the bush to hide fears of things
Message too long. Click here to view the full text.

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20920 No. 20920 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Does anyone else experience negative side effects while on anti-depressants? I get really sleepy a few afters after eating them, and also it has some negative sexual side effects. I can fap for ages and ages but I feel very little stimulation and I have to go at mach 10 speed to cum.
15 posts and 1 image omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 21237 [Edit]
Had SSRIs and SNRIs, only thing they did was to make my anxiety worse. Things that actually work are Valium and alcohol. I mean a shot of whisky, beer does nothing and is less palatable, especially when I'm making cocktails.

Fuckhead doctor now tells me to try exercise, you should have said that first you trend hopping quack. My hands will, a year on, sometimes contract involuntarily like when I was on the pills. Yes give the anxious guy who rides public transport grope hands, that'll fucking help his anxiety.
>> No. 21272 [Edit]
bupropion / wellbutrin is like the opposite of most anti-depressants. gives you some energy, makes you horny, makes you less hungry. i recommend it
>> No. 21278 [Edit]
Why are my antidepressants making me more depressed?
>> No. 21345 [Edit]
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Been on sertraline for years and it certainly affected me, the higher the dose the more l last while fapping and sometimes it was so exhausting that I had to stop it and give up without finishing.

My libido has diminished a considerable amount as well.

It takes at least a month until they start "working", it can get a lot worse than your usual depressed state, specially the first few weeks you begin taking them, it's a common side effect.

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21317 No. 21317 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
I know how to make money!

Hear this.
Learn how to edit videos and add effects and all that shit.
Now find a normalfag who's funny, really funny.
Now jump in the youtube let's play/review movies/videogames bandwagon and earn MILLIONS.

Of course it may not work, but as long as the person doing whatever is likable, then you'll get subs and free money, maybe not millions but you know, enough to live month by month.

What do you think of my brilliant idea?
8 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 21326 [Edit]
do I have to make vomit-inducing WACKY THUMBNAILS like all those videos have?
>> No. 21328 [Edit]
What do you mean? You can't multiply without numbers.
>> No. 21330 [Edit]
What kinda fetish would get maximum stupid meme appeal/hate purchases, do y'think?
>> No. 21331 [Edit]
Go with tentacles, definitely. Or something like animals as your 3DPDs, something silly like that.
Like an harem of humanoid insects or each girl representing an animal of the zodiac.
You could call the game Zodiac★Harem.

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21241 No. 21241 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Has anyone tried to kill themself here? How did you survive and how did it affect you?

I think about it almost every day and it and it has been getting more intense lately.
17 posts and 2 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 21304 [Edit]
Please don't kill yourself, it's really not a great answer. There are probably ways you can change your life or your perception of yourself to make it more enjoyable.

If you must, wear a diaper and leave a note. Think about the people who'll survive you.
>> No. 21305 [Edit]
have you tried a course of antidepressants for a minimum of 3 months
>> No. 21306 [Edit]
Six different SSRIs and some more uncommon ones (agomelatine, bupropion, mirtazapine, MAOIs). Everything was trialed for at least six weeks. I don't think I am actually clinically depressed -- anhedonia, amotivation and apathy are just core part of my personality or something at this point.
>> No. 21308 [Edit]
It's an understandable answer, Ford Driver.

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20993 No. 20993 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
If you divided up your life into percentages of good, "meh", and bad, what would it come out to?
18 posts and 5 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 21141 [Edit]
>manic elation
I hope it lasts you or you're able to get some sort of left over reslove from it. That feeling you've described has almost always ended up in leaving me feeling slightly worse than before.
She doesn't look all that smug.
>> No. 21142 [Edit]
Did you really fall into depression just because childhood ended or were there some deeper issues? Just curious and I tend to overanalyze things on my end.

I feel like even when I was a kid I had trouble expressing feelings and being happy with friends/family, most of the time being lost in fantasy.... Right now maybe the only difference is that fantasies have more love interests and the fights are a bit gorier and even darker themes perhaps.
>> No. 21212 [Edit]
Popped open Excel and did some number-crunching, rated each year in my life from 1 - 5 starting at age 3, then used the ratings to assign points to good/meh/bad scores.

Final percentages ended up being 14/57/29.
>> No. 21266 [Edit]
Pretty much the same here.

At the time I thought it was a winter depression, but stress was probably the major factor. As a kid I lived happily and carefree inside "my world". Nowadays there are just so many things you need to come up to. You forget a single one of them and everything becomes unstable, you get punished and suffer from regret or even the punishment itself.

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