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21407 No. 21407 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Dose anyone else ever feel like the universe wants them to be miserable?
The only reason I'm not an atheist is because I feel like there has to be someone up there who gets off on taking diarrhea shits all over my life every time anything slightly nice happens, or just for the hell of it even.

I'm at the point where I get scared if anything too good happens because I just know something bad is about to happen in turn. I've gotten pretty used to bad things happening for the most part but it almost seems like accepting it and not reacting just pisses off the cosmos and makes it go overdrive on fucking with me to push me over the edge. I feel like a lab rat constantly being poked for a reaction.

I've long since stopped looking forward to anything or allowing myself to be excited. Everything is a disappointment or doesn't work out. I don't even know if I'm even capable of feeling 'hope' anymore. I'm long past dead inside. With each passing day I sit here just waiting for what life is going to throw at me next.

Post edited on 14th Feb 2016, 6:49pm
2 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 21427 [Edit]
To quote Boethius -- the greatest pain is remembering what one has lost, and the greatest joy is self-possession. Does that reflect your thoughts at all?
>> No. 21428 [Edit]
I think about this a lot myself

Perhaps it's just foolishness, but I often wonder if I did something wrong to deserve how crappy my life can be at times. I often wonder if there really is a god and he has forsaken me for my Atheism, or if Karma is real and I'm doing something bad or evil without realizing it.
>> No. 21431 [Edit]
No, thats silly. The universe doesn't want to punish you. The universe is indifferent.
>> No. 21668 [Edit]
>>21426
Not OP but thank you for posting

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21423 No. 21423 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
If you had to guess, how many people around the world would you say killed themself's today?
>> No. 21424 [Edit]
Too many to count.
>> No. 21425 [Edit]
Valentine's day is mostly an American thing. On the world scale the spike is not very high.

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20298 No. 20298 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Do you guys ever become extremely depressed several times a day when your memory makes you remember all the retarded, stupid and shameful shit you did back in the days? How do you guys deal or have dealt with this? I have been having these flashbacks of things I did or say many years ago and they have haunted me ever since. I can't deal with them or forget them, so I get this anxiety issue where I just want to dissapear or run away to a place where nobody I know will ever find in order to never have to deal with the things I did in my past ever again.
31 posts and 7 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 20991 [Edit]
It's not even "back in the days" anymore. Things that only happened maybe yesterday become a source of crushing shame for me, on top of all the run-of-the-mill kid on the internet stuff. I even cringe at things I've said on this website.
>> No. 21016 [Edit]
>>20991
I sometimes make weird noises when I remember a shameful moment. Now, it's not bad when I'm at home, I'm used to talking to myself, but it also can happen outside. Usually the voice is like "aaaaaaaargh".
>> No. 21018 [Edit]
>>21016
I do this too & I'm probably going to look back on it in a few years and cry, just like everything else
>> No. 21386 [Edit]
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21386
Over the years I've been doing shit I regret on a daily basis from mistakes to decisions that have caused me and others great harm while most recover from things I've done I do not really recover. I can't be very forgiving with myself for anything I've done whether it was something I said or something I did the past is not something I can change and I never seem to learn my lesson I keep doing shit I regret. Even recently stuff I did will probably haunt me for a long time or the rest of my days. I don't have a real way to cope with feelings of shame, regret, or dread that I'll do something again. I can hold onto something for years usually resentments of people or things that happened. As a result I suffer from depression and I feel I may be developing anxiety now because the future looks very dark for me I feel I'll just keep making mess ups because I don't know how to get what I want without hurting someone in the process.

>so I get this anxiety issue where I just want to dissapear or run away to a place where nobody I know will ever find in order to never have to deal with the things I did in my past ever again.
I've been wanting to do that OP, I want to move to some desolate isolated place and start over because of all the that is on my mind constantly but I feel even than I'd mess that up to.

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No. 20044 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
my mechanic knows I'm a socially awkward beta who likes to avoid conflict so I think he intentionally rips me off extra because he knows I won't do anything about it
>> No. 20045 [Edit]
Maybe get a different one? Possibly at a place where you don't directly interact with the mechanics.
>> No. 20113 [Edit]
>>20045

That would mean going to some place like Pep Boys where you are getting ripped off no matter who you are. Finding a more honest mechanic is a better endeavor.
>> No. 20120 [Edit]
If you have an old car learn mechanic and diy.
>> No. 21378 [Edit]
>>20044
Just tell em "Look I'm tired of your shit carlos, just fix my car already"

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20209 No. 20209 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
My parents are doing so many things for my younger sibling that they never did when I was growing up. Now it's too late to fix a lot of my problems.

They're helping her apply to college. They're going to pay for her college. They've given her tips on applications and resumes. They make sure she's involved in their local circles and help her do networking. They make sure she gets help for her shortcomings. They make sure she has emotional support. They spend time with her. They don't yell at her. I wish they did these things with me. But they didn't.

It just makes me so angry and jealous and I don't know what to do or feel. I feel like their actions indicate that I'm not even a person.

Post edited on 7th Jun 2015, 9:20pm
6 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 20227 [Edit]
>>20218
Most women? I don't think so... I think it can seem that way if you spend all your time on the internet, like us, though...
>> No. 20228 [Edit]
>>20227
He's right they do, many simply do it without even realizing it.
>> No. 21377 [Edit]
>>20209
CONFRONTATION
Tell those to two exactly what they are putting you trough
Get your parents in a room sit em down no sister aloud, tell them not to give any input until you have gotten everything out, just spill it on them. then hear what they have to tell you.
>> No. 21381 [Edit]
>>20213
>while women do indeed do better in some professions
>why people think that women are either equal to men or better
>think that it is a shared delusion among society
Uh, what the fuck? This is the most inexplicable shit I've read in a while. Surely the feminist propaganda where you're from can't be this blatant and insane.

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