>>25472
Probably not.
Sounds similar to what I feel like and I haven't died yet. It appears to be mostly mental. Shit life syndrome.

>>25472
I'm having it too and I was absolutely terrified at the beginning when it started to show itself this year. It feels like my mind is associating sleep with death, which is the reason for me waking up after every two hours. Every dream ends with a shocking sound, a loud door slam, a waking word, a loud tone.
Lying on back is the most comfortable position.
Eating less doesn't help at all, the superfluous energy stays there for the auto-shock therapy.

The problem is deemed to be a mental condition.

>>25473
>>25474
Yes, I think it has to be the same thing you described, nightmares included. I will try lying back but I have never slept like that in my life, it feels weird.
There's something I don't get, I'm not particularly unhappy and just a few years ago I was a lot worse. Right now I'm enjoying the confinement of last month. I have less stress than ever, no doubt about that, then why it has to happen now?

I just started getting nightmares again this week. They are like re-experiencing certain experiences from many years ago. There was quite some time since I last had them, and I was even starting to think those would be past matters, what a thing. I don't feel anything in particular with regards to my body, just the nightmares themselves. I don't know whether the technical term would be bad dreams but whatever.

>>25446
Tiny child who came out of a plant is another one. Thumbelina, The Tale of the Bamboo Cutter, Momotaro.

>>25445
I wasn't thinking about structure, I don't know enough about film theory to notice that.
It's something more obvious. There's always a man who goes from a lower point to an high one. Then he meets his hubris; depending on the movie, sometimes he gets destroyed by it, or redeems himself before that. He always mets a woman and starts a family, the woman always acts the same way (probably quite realistic though) and at some point it will get in conflict with the protagonist, because 1)economic reasons 2)not spending enough time with family/doing dangerous work or lifestyle for family. And she will abandon him and take the kids with her. There's also some rare variants without children or with children dying, but with similar results.
Just think all the (good or even great) movies with those elements, movies that can be completely different in setting and themes.
Think about Goodfellas, Amadeus, Scarface, The Lord of War, Barry Lindon, it's all there and that's just thinking about really good movies.

>>25445
It's also easier/safer to stick with a known structure than to risk something novel.

The only consolation I can give myself is that there might be a path to power that can physically and metaphysically re-write reality.

>>25260
Probably shouldn't post this in the optimism thread but my dad isn't as lucky.

>>25269
Just use all the time you have left and spend it together. Don't miss the chance if there's anything you needed to talk with him about, but never did. Nothing left to do but to try to be close and support each other. Makes it easier both for those who die and those who live afterwards.

>>25272
It's a little too late, he's in a semi-conscious state. His condition deteriorated rapidly and suddenly, nobody suspected anything and he was just fine until not too long ago. We have a dysfunctional relationship and I've been estranged to him but it's funny how your feelings could play out at times like this. I'm trying to make the best of what little time there is but I try to avoid my honest feelings since there is quite a bit of bitterness, I'm just trying to put him at ease as much as I can. There's so much mixed feelings in me that I can't comprehend. Thank you for your reply though, it helps me feel a little more at ease.

>>25265

The doctors say that she needs more exams in two months, but I fear that she will need go through a surgery. As for myself, I'm quite anxious because, I will go to a cram school the entire year so I can prepare myself to college admittance exams. I need study a lot of math to pass on it and I'm horrible with math, I'm anxious, and I think I need study at least 5 hours a day after the cram school so I can get a good score.
I'm still worried about mom. I can't lose her now since I'm not prepared financially and emotionally to lose here right now.

>>24072

This is me, I've improved even further.

However, I suddenly had a loss of motivation and despite being really happy mentally I couldn't focus while studying.

After this I had a bit of a breakdown and am still in a really depressive phase, the most insane thing aboout success is how the standards keep rising higher and higher.

I don't know if this is just me but I feel I'm always wanting more. However, I think I'm internally broken from my parents arguing during my childhood and me locking myself in my room for all of high school moreorless.

I felt SO close to a true victory of happiness! I guess my latent introversion denies me.

This thread sucks and is one of the worst on tohno-chan. It doesn't matter how hard somebody had it in life or whatever. It doesn't matter. Normalcattle are different in their dominant priorities and mentality. The anon here who spewed something about empathy even expressed that difference without realizing it. I hope that person has left since 2018. The lives and opinions of normalcattle only matter as much as they interfere with your passions.

Post edited on 13th Oct 2020, 3:13pm

>>25979
The hate is strong with this one.

>>25980
Yeah I'm full of hate. Posts like this >>23732 are disturbing to me. At least they probably left.

>>25274
>I think the non-ephemeral nature of Discord (combined with profile pictures and ability to post inline images) worsens this issue.
I was going to post something to this effect too. There are those who bemoan IRC's transience and lack of rich media features, but these are features. (Less is more!) After all, chatting with someone isn't supposed to come with a history other than memories. If one needs some form of permanence, images, profile pictures, or whatever else, use a damn forum. And somewhat related, fuck Github and the whole social-coding-media faggotry.

>>25276
What's wrong with Github? I sometimes get nice programs or mods from there, so it seems alright to me.

>>25277
Not that anon, but Github is alright as just a place to dump code I suppose; it's their push to make things more "social" that's less then stellar. Though this is really subgroup dependent; wading into the "issues" section of a webdev repo is usually a minefield, and I'm pretty sure that's what led to all this "code of conduct" nonsense. From a technical side it's probably adequate, although their PR system is atrocious and their search is complete garbage.

>>25278
Eugh, I had no idea. I just used github as a platform for collecting and uploading light programs.

merry christmas!! It's great to see everyone in the christmas spirit! I can feel the love and joy from all of you!

>>25066
>a board you profess to dislike
I already said there's threads on /so/ I like.
>a topic you express distaste for
I have no problem with talking about Christmas.
>things out of your control
If I tell them off, they might not make a thread like that again.

>>25067
That was unexpected and funny considering the posts above, gave me a good laugh. Thank you and for the wishes too.

>>25211
Thanks! It's exactly what I was going for.

>>25167
Just lie and say it was with family. You ate dinner at home or a restaurant, it's a tradition. No one will question it.

>>25167
Or tell the truth. Nobody would (should) care.

>>25167
Has anyone tried deliberately lying, just for the fun of making up crazy storylines? Not in New Year's but in those kinds of situations.
I always tell the truth but then these people keep asking me for reasons and reasons and pissing me off, I am seriously considering making up a pretend 3DPD just for kicks.

>>25199
I'm bad enough at keeping normal conversation, so trying to construct a coherent lie on the fly would end in spectacular failure. And then I'd be in a worse situation.

I can’t understand or explain my own emotions. They call it Alexithymia.

I struggle with everyday sounds that shouldn't bother me but do nonetheless. Sounds like dogs barking and bags crinkling in particular drive me up the wall.

Post edited on 25th Dec 2019, 7:33am

>>25079
I have the same, especially with children or babies crying.
Some sounds just make me angry to the point where i chipped off a bit of my tooth from grinding my teeth so much.

Refraining from scratching my fingers and hand with my nails during these social situations, everytime I get myself into a unwanted dialogue I unconsciously begin the ordeal. Sometimes, most of the time, actually, I only notice after it's done.

I know where you're coming from. I cope with leading towards jobs/shifts that place me around fewer people, but I think it's hard to do that with a real career. You'd likely just screw yourself over in the long term doing what I do. One thing I did a lot of at my first job was hiding in the bathroom to play games on my psp. It helped a lot to have a little place to get away and relax for a bit. Of course one of my coworkers who's a real asshole started giving me a hard time about spending so much time in the bathroom but if you ask me it's no different than people taking smoke breaks for stress releaf.
My recommendation is to try and find a new line of work, or maybe be your own boss and try a less conventional form of making income. Have you considered forex, stock trading, drop shipping, or running an online business from home?
I know switching careers can be scary but if what you're doing now isn't working for you, you should at least consider it.

>Is it time to find greener pastures? Anybody else with similar experiences?
Leave. Staying will only embitter you.

>>25073
>(in both the literal and metaphoric sense)
I noticed that with programming social circles too.

I recognize that feeling. I hate modern internet.

>>25070
Let me guess...4/jp/?

>>25086
The time to be distraught over 4/anything going to shit was years ago.

>>24972
>I wish I could have one or two friends without needing to participate in the rat race
I'll be your friend but im a really shitty friend

>>24989
I appreciate the offer. You're in good company; I am also a pretty awful friend. As I alluded to in the other post, all the things that friends do together fail to come naturally to me. That's probably why nobody has ever wanted anything to do with me: I'm just too lackluster and boring to be anyone's friend.

It is probably better for everyone this way in the long run, since I won't be a bother to anyone and I'll eventually settle back into the calm stability of isolation again.

Truth is, adults don't have friends. If something, couples have friend couples.
It's the shocking truth. The normalfag world isn't about friendship, it's about social relations and that's a completely different thing. Children have friends, not adults.

>>24994
From what I've seen of my parents, adults will sometimes call the people they were friends with in school or their work buddies. They occasionally visit each other's house too.