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23136 No. 23136 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Do you have any traumatic moments in your life you might want to share and talk about? It could be something deep in the past or a recent event. We're all friends here, feel free to let it out.
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>> No. 26028 [Edit]
>>26025
Which movie and scene
>> No. 26033 [Edit]
>>26028
I don't remember, I can't find it. I only remember that the most important line of the song's refrain was "Help me" (not in English).
>> No. 26034 [Edit]
>>26028
I don't remember, I can't find it. I only remember that the most important line of the song's refrain was "Help me" (not in English).
>> No. 26041 [Edit]
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26041
>>25955
I finally had a second attempt at meditating today. Maybe I just didn't try hard enough but I didn't concentrate as much as last time. Intrusive thoughts are still there but distractions prove helpful. It's easiest to keep them out so long as I avoid things that remind me of said thoughts. There are a lot that are loosely related to those thoughts that I end up having to avoid a lot of things but it's not too hard to do so, I think.
I'll probably post about my updates with this in the daily report thread on /ot/ so that I won't be making off topic posts here.

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20141 No. 20141 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Do you guys get angry or depressed when thinking about sex? I normally do, especially when continuously exposed to pornographic material of any sort or sometimes when going out. The inexistent propects of sexual life for my are quite saddening. Does anyone else feel the same?
36 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 24332 [Edit]
My thoughts and feelings about it are more confusing, since I fantasize it almost constantly but they are in the 2D (even when it is with people from the 3D.) There is something quite unattractive about 3D sex for me and it's never been nearly a big concern on my mind that I haven't had it, as it seems to be with other virgins I see. Hentai, audio porn, and most recently erotic literature seem to be so sufficient for me that often I end up thinking that I don't need to worry about being virgin at all as long as I have them. Maybe the lack of intimacy will catch up with more when I get older, but right now I seem to barely care unless it's from feeling social pressure to have it. I only seem to care that I haven't had it because most of my peers already have, but it's something I want to desire myself, not just in order to fill in some sort of functional human checklist.
>> No. 24344 [Edit]
Every fucking time. I'm a virgin and I used to masturbate all the time and even love staring at anime tits for hours, but antidepressants and other events have contributed to immense guilt and a bit of self-hatred when I do masturbate. It feels like I'm vicariously participating in "sex culture" and nothing i can imagine about the act appeals to me
>> No. 26039 [Edit]
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26039
Extremely. While I don't want to detail every reason why, I always feel that it's pretty unfair. I didn't choose nor want this but I'm stuck without the same thing everyone else gets to have and brag about constantly. It's all kinds of soul crushing and I have to keep it mostly to myself, especially now since failed normals are basically not allowed anywhere on the internet so what probably would have been my last hope at finding people I can relate to is just shot. Every part of this is terrible but I think the worst of it is being demonized over it. Like virginity is what keeps me from being counted as a human and as long as I have it and a sex drive at the same time I'm some kind of filth that needs to be squashed by any means unless I start virtue signaling about how I voluntarily turned it away. I think the knowledge of how valued sex is has caused me to sour and become even more cynical. 2d is harder to enjoy unless it's 100% pure and even then it's in the back of my mind. You can probably imagine that lewd shit is even worse for me. I can still enjoy them sometimes but the mood that makes me watch or look at that stuff doesn't stick around for very long and I just stop. Waifus feel like an impossibility for me and naturally romance media just hurts to watch either because it was bad, it shows me the love I want but can't have, or both. I sometimes think if I could just have it once then maybe I might be happy but I would probably just want it more and it would just make the desire to be honestly loved even worse. It makes me question whether fucking a hooker would be a good idea after all. Maybe I'll do that before I kill myself but I found out that it's kind of hard to get one because there's a shit ton of laws simping for those poor women who choose to do that kind of work. It's all one of the many curses I think were put on me at birth, like some deity hated me or something.
>> No. 26040 [Edit]
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26040
No. Mainly because I like being who I am and wouldn't want to be different. While I want sex, I want more than that too. I want a permanent relationship with someone I can spend all of my free time with. Somebody who will understand and accept everything about me. Expecting that from a human would be delusional.

Getting sex the way people are "supposed to" would require me to become a good actor and learn the ins and outs of dating or partying and whatever other social trapping come with that territory. Even I could do all that and succeed, it doesn't seem worth the time, energy, money and danger. For 5-30 minutes of sex on average contingent on the other person being in the mood it's not. I know the actual game wont be enjoyable to me unlike for some normalfags.

How long can I keep up the facade for? I imagine that actually living with a women would be complete hell. Their needs, their flaws, their own deceptions, their own unpleasant changes. The failure rate of relationships is high and then you have to start all over again, older this time. Ignoring personality, even if I managed to hook up with a women who I find attractive, they age, they can gain weight, their genitals might be ugly, and I would have no way of knowing it.

Women are made out of the stuff as dirt and rocks. The parts are arranged in a complicated way, but getting all of the things that make up a women is relatively easy. I'm banking on artificial, superior wives existing within my lifetime. It's my life goal. When it happens, I'll still be pure in mind and body. I probably sound crazy, but that's exactly why another human wouldn't be good.

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25919 No. 25919 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Is there any comforting fantasies or thoughts you have or entertain regularly? I'm sure a life with your waifu is one of them but what about others?
I like to think about being a cute loli and having a cute and caring older sister to grow up and fall in love with. We would climb trees, shoot water guns at each other, play in a pool, read stories before bed, make desserts, cuddle at night and spend practically all of our time together. It helps me fall asleep and makes me feel better when I'm sad.
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>> No. 25934 [Edit]
Sometimes I'll imagine talking to a younger version of myself. It lets me feel more accomplished but sometimes turns into just berating my younger self. I've been trying to shift this into talking to an idealized sort of father figure. Someone who would be like my grandpa but understand the times I grew up in and the sort of problems I have. It's very comforting.

Another is thinking about how much you're connected to. We're all related somehow or another, animals included. It's a spiritual kind of feel. It's something I've appreciated more as I've gotten older. You change a lot and those different selves are all part of you. Different people and things come and teach you things. It's a beautiful thing.
>> No. 25935 [Edit]
There's a bunch.

Going through childhood again, except my parents are still together, my dad actually gets to be a part of my life without the army sending him all over the world, and my mom never makes friends with all the people who made my childhood hell. Those three changes alone would have made a hell of a difference.

Having a group of friends in highschool, kind of like what >>25923 except less outdoors: playing video games together, shooting the breeze during lunch, bouncing around ideas for stories and games and such, basically just being part of that group of weird kids that I always envied back then because they were happy together.

Being a part of the 00s internet in my teens, which was something I couldn't fully do because of the awful computer I had, plus a lack of interest in most anime/games/etc that I saw people talking about. The most I really did in those days was browse imageboards.

Gaining invisibility+teleportation powers and pretty much becoming a trickster god. Spy on people, play pranks, do something terrible and see who gets the blame for it, toy with the minds of investigators, etc.
>> No. 25936 [Edit]
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25936
I have formed an elaborate fantasy universe over many years. The most comforting scene that I return to is a dark, snowy evergreen forest in the mountains of some astral plane of existence. In a valley between a number of enormous mountains, there is a picturesque gothic village. There, thousands of undead relax in quiet harmony after living tumultuous or otherwise unpleasant lives. Everything they could ever need or want is conjured up by magic, and animated snowmen act as civil servants and butlers, free of charge. The undead are led by an admirable king that inspires everyone to do their best, but the king seldom actually does anything because his undead subjects are so well-behaved and the snowmen are such great civil servants. Everyone just wants to relax and forget the miserable lives they left behind.

Naturally, the snowmen can fly: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbhvXKLmJJs

I like to listen to baroque or classical music and imagine the king wandering through his domain (down a street, immaculately maintained by the snowmen; through the woods, populated by magic rabbits and deer; atop a mountain; above the clouds that always snow; anywhere).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NlprozGcs80
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TyCAc4B0YO0

>>25920
This too on occasion. Within the framework of my whole fantasy setting, I imagine the king's ghost floating around the material world, invisibly watching stuff happen.
>> No. 26036 [Edit]
I fucking imagine myself as a music guy making music videos because i'm a big late 20's baby with fucking up prospects and i hate it here
however i do enjoy it because even though it is hopeless because i have no will or depression and am getting older, it's one of the few things i can be a bit creative with
why did life have to end up like this? just kidding, it's because i was born in unfortunate circumstances and i remain human garbage marred by experience. i'd take nothingness in a heartbeat

sometimes i imagine being with women or having friends but i shut that out real quick. it hurts too much or it will eventually

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25323 No. 25323 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Post random things you remember. Little things that left an impression on you.

I was driving with my mom somewhere around the time I was in middle school. It was a long ride. I summarised the plots of eva and saya no uta to her. She seemed bored and a little put-off, but I think she was listening. Then she started talking about how Japanese people have a genetic propensity for cruelness which explained why they would make such things. I thought it was an interesting theory.
41 posts and 8 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 25645 [Edit]
When I first moved out, every once in a while I'd take the bus back home, to visit my parents, and my cats. The trip was just two hours long, but I could use the time to listen to all my Reitaisai albums, and other music I enjoyed, on my old mp3 player. The ride was never full, usually just me a half a dozen of people spread through the bus. I would spend the trip looking through the window at the somewhat boring landscape of flat grasslands, farms and the occasional small city. Each time of the day gave the ride a different feeling, dawn, day, dusk, night, and transformed the landscape, and I memorized all those images. It felt delicate, comfortable. I was not in a good place at that time, but looking back, I miss it, there is a bittersweet nostalgia. As bad as it was then, it was the last I ever felt this comfort. It's never as bad now, but all the beauty of life disappeared together with it.
>> No. 26012 [Edit]
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26012
It was winter break during my senior year in high school. My parents took me to a hotel next to a mountain in New York for a four day new years eve party which catered to Russian-speaking Americans. There was plenty of events(mostly in Russian which I don't understand), but I spent nearly all of the time in the hotel room browsing the web.

A few of the people there had kids around my age and there was a "teen club" especially for that. One of them was the son of my dad's friend. I couldn't help but be dragged there once. There was only 4-6 there including myself and they just sat around staring at their phones or telling stories about messing around and pissing off another kid to the point where he broke a glass window in the previous years they attended. Later they ran around the place, went into empty rooms so they could turn the lights off and sit on the floor in the dark even though there were chairs, and had more inane conversation.

They kept asking me if I was high. I didn't talk a lot and was kind of uncomfortable, but doing a decent job of hiding it with my blank expression and general apathy. I was weirded out by their physical closeness, the way they huddled together or how the girls would piggyback a guy. They were from New Brunswick or something and acted accordingly.

Later, I was enjoying the empty hotel room at night when my dad's friend knocked on the door and had his son escort me to where the "teen club" was meeting. More inane conversation. Some new ones where there and talked at me about how they want to get into stocks while I pretended to be interested and nodded along. We played a game of never have I ever with mostly drug or sex or relationship related questions and then more huddling together I wordlessly ignored. Then I left for my hotel room again. Apparently after that, some little kid came into the room and was bullied. Everybody there got yelled at except me since I already left.

The last day was the actual New Years party. The attendants expected parents to do that whole supervision thing, so I ended up drinking a glass of champagne and a glass of white wine poured by some alcoholic old women at our table. I felt hot and dizzy, so I decided to go back to the room. On the way, somebody from the club invited me to watch a movie with
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>> No. 26018 [Edit]
When I was 3ish, I stuck a penny into a power socket pretending it was a coin slot for a vending machine. Shocked the hell out of me and left a nasty burn mark on the wall, which stayed until after we moved.

One day in 1st grade, I came into class after being absent the previous day, only to get called into the principal's office. They started claiming that I brought a lighter onto school grounds, and after much confusion and pressure, I just said I did. They threw me into in-school suspension. It wasn't until I got out that I find out what really happened: on my absent day, not only did some kid bring a lighter that fell out of his jacket, but there was also a substitute. When she asked the kid his name, he gave mine, pinning the blame completely on me. The kid got off scot-free. When I found out about this and tried to tell my parents, they wouldn't believe me.

Sometime in 2nd grade, I embarrassed myself by rambling about computers in front of a girl until she got annoyed at me. I don't think I ever tried to talk to her again afterward.

Around that same time I remember thinking to myself that everyone must hate me. But I never told anyone because I thought they'd just tell me I'm being overdramatic. Looking back, I wasn't completely wrong: I had no friends at school, and almost every adult I knew was abusive or neglectful towards me in some way. The only exception was my dad, who was an okay guy, but I almost never got to see him. Hell, I'd say all of my happy memories involving adults were with him. Dude taught me multiplication, basic physics, guitar (or at least tried; his steel-string hurt to play so I gave up), maybe a couple other things but I don't remember. I imagine I'd be in a much better place if he had actually been a part of my life.

In fact, his physics lesson was an odd memory itself. He had let me out to go play with the other kids in his neighborhood, when suddenly he came yelling at me claiming I hit a girl (I didn't hit anyone, let alone a girl). Either someone mistook another kid for me or just didn't like me. I don't know. Anyway, he takes me back inside, starts reading me the riot act, and halfway through it suddenly turns into a lesson on kinetic and potential energy. By the time he's done I'm just weirded ou
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>> No. 26035 [Edit]
I was arguing with some namefag on 420chan about something. He or she was clearly older than me and won. Called me a piece of shit, basically. I came back and posted about being suicidal, problems with my parents, and how I get pleasure from imagining hanging myself in my mom's room just to end the pain and destroy them. The same namefag gave me genuine advice and told me to move out ASAP.

Wew the hatred I felt for my parents was not normal, in hindsight

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25770 No. 25770 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
What do you think would happen if you had a kid? The scenario doesn't matter, imagine you miraculously had a kid, what now? What kind of parent do you think you'd be? How do you think they would turn out?

On one hand the idea of having that much influence over another person has some appeal, on the other hand there's no guarantee they'll turn out the way you want. If they end up being shitty, it could be absolutely painful. While I wouldn't want them to be a normalfag, if they aren't they'd probably have a miserable life. It's a lose lose situation. I don't think I would be good at it.

Post edited on 27th Jul 2020, 8:40am
10 posts and 1 image omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 25831 [Edit]
>>25829
I think one of my biggest disappointments in life has been to discover people doesn't really give a shit about anything except the usual topics. What for a minority are passions for the majority will always be nothing more than pastimes.
And giving a shit about something isn't particularly well seen, like my father always told me how I was "obsessed" everytime I got into a particular interest, and that was really bad.
And I understand their point, it's probably necessary for the species to be like that and stick into social and physical relations over all other things, but I will not be the fucker that gets bored and depressed when he gets old, retires or suddenly gets some considerable free time. What it's good for the species isn't necessarily good for the individual.
>> No. 25832 [Edit]
>>25770
I'm not a violent or sexually perverted person, so my kids would at the very least not be physically abused.
I actually think about child rearing a lot, and I think I could do a good job as a dad in terms of getting them well-educated (e.g. teaching them at least 3 languages from the time they're babies, getting them into computer programming, math and electronics at a young age, teaching them how to think critically and do their own research on topics like politics) and healthy (I know a lot about nutrition because when I became an adult I had to get rid of the morbid obesity that my mother's care had left me with, and I would see to it that they spend a lot of time doing sports and training their bodies). I wouldn't let them watch much TV and instead teach them more beneficial ways of entertaining themselves.

In many ways, I'd be a much better father than the one I had.
Thing is, they will end up severely emotionally neglected unless they have a mother who can compensate for my coldness, and I cannot imagine that I'd be able to put up with a woman's shit for years and years without eventually killing myself.
>> No. 26020 [Edit]
My dad is a lot more normal than me in a lot of ways, but I think it's a good vision at what happens when someone who isn't very normal has kids. For the record, I don't hate him for it and I have to thank him for a lot of my perspectives on reality. He had few if any friends growing up, I believe he has some form of autism/aspergers. He impressed a lot of his hobbies onto me, that's not really anything that went wrong though. I like his hobbies a lot, he was into lots of good stuff like building scale models, learning about history, stuff I really do like. But there was a lot of physical violence when he got angry, I had welts on my back quite often and his mental illnesses definitely affected me worse genetically. I don't mind being an outcast, or a loser or whatever normalfags would call me, but I wouldn't make me if I could help it. I don't think I should have kids sex or no, because if his mental illnesses were enhanced in me, who knows what my kids would be like. My mom is partially to blame genetically as well, having a grandmother with actual schizophrenia and a history of spending long periods of time, months or years, at mental hospitals. It's just a terrible combination. Theres so much to say but I'm tired at the moment and the genetic problems stand out the most.
>> No. 26024 [Edit]
Having a child could either be like a cutesy SoL manga and give our lives meaning or a very tragic situation. It depends on how they turn out and if they resent you for being a loser or something.

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25993 No. 25993 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Have you ever tried to kill yourself? What method(s) did you use? If you made multiple attempts, how many? What pushed or keeps pushing you over that edge? How did you feel when you woke up in the hospital or each time it happens? Did life change for you in any way at all, for better or for worse? How did others around you feel, if you had anyone? What other experiences do you have related to it?
>> No. 26014 [Edit]
>>25993
I haven't but at some point I started to plan it, carbon dioxide was the method I was thinking of since I noticed how when you think seriously about killing yourself (like not fantasizing or anything, just seriously thinking about it) some methods cause a severe mental rejection, I couldn't just shoot myself or something bloody (but effective) like that, I found I needed something slow and clean.
>> No. 26015 [Edit]
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26015
>>25993
at first I wanted to fly to the US and buy a shotgun at a gun show or off craig's list to shoot myself in the head with, since from my research that seemed to be the most reliable way out. I eventually concluded that it was too big a risk because I didn't have enough money to travel back to Europe in case buying a gun in the US isn't as easy as the mass media would have me believe.

Plan B was to go to Scandinavia or Siberia and just keep walking north until I die of either thirst, hunger, or most probably hypothermia. I settled for Scandinavia because I didn't want to risk Russian border guards kicking me out.

I was at the train station, waiting for the first train on my journey to Malmö, when I got a call informing me that an employer I had previously contacted was interested in giving me the comfy, interesting and reasonably well-paying job I had applied for.

I decided to take up the offer, and by the time it became clear that the whole business didn't pan out as I had hoped, the weather was already too warm and the days in Scandinavia too long to go back to my suicide plan.

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25962 No. 25962 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
At what point in your life did you realize you don't belong? Did some event make this clear to you or did you simply think it over and walk away from everyone? How did you feel when it happened? How did you feel later or now?
28 posts and 5 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 26029 [Edit]
As if the banned poster wasn't bad enough here's another problem:
>>26017
>>26019
Outsiders bitching about "crabs."
For those who didn't pick that up it's a dogwhistle. A couple of vile imageboards and forums use that word as a code for involuntary celibates, whom they despise and obsessively rage about all the time.
Guess what, I'm a "failed normalfag" and a "crab" and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it because your outsider rules and customs were never a thing on Tohno. Your usual magic words have no power here.
I will continue posting about my "failed normie incel" problems as I have for years without issue.
You can return to your regular hangouts. Don't come back.
>> No. 26030 [Edit]
>>26017
If you think crabs are bad, just wait until you see squids. And don't even get me started on sea urchins.
>> No. 26031 [Edit]
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26031
>>26030
Sea urchins are cuties though!
>> No. 26032 [Edit]
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26032
>>26031
So are squids!

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25942 No. 25942 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Have you given any thought to what would become of your stuff when you die? Do you have any plans set for parting it out among friends and family, or does it not matter to you?
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>> No. 25988 [Edit]
Audio Keiichi Suzuki, Hirokazu Tanaka, Hiroshi Kanazu, Toshiyuki Ueno - Smiles and Tears - (5.26MB - 128 kbps - 44.1 kHz , 153- Earthbound - Smiles and Tears.mp3 ) Length: 5:44

25988
reading all your posts on /so/ about death brought me to tears for the first time in about a year.
I don't want to die. I don't want any of you to die! Why do we have to grow old and grow further apart and eventually die.
But at the same time, I guess death is comforting to the misanthropes of the world who didn't want to be here in the first place.
Why do we have to die? Why did the good, happy times have to fade away?
>> No. 25989 [Edit]
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25989
I love you all! I'm sorry for being such emotional dreck.
>> No. 25990 [Edit]
>>25989
Appreciated, anon. Just how small was the chance that we met here? Hold on a moment and be greatful. Even if you don't want to live in the first place, at least we could suffer together.
>> No. 25991 [Edit]
>>25990
>>25989
Let's all suffer together.

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23463 No. 23463 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]
Is this the only anime/weeb community left that hasn't been over run by children?
Every time I find a new one to join it's the same thing, retarded teenagers who wont shut up about school or spoiled rich kids and their college crap. It's all "dur hur I'm gonna be a doctor I'm gonna be a laywer" fuck you. I feel so fucking old lately and this shit doesn't help one bit. It's just so ackward being in these servers/channels with kids that are half my age. Not that it's uncommon here either. Where the fuck are all the 30+ weebs? Do they just kill themselves when they hit 30 or do they turn into normal fags and quit the internet? What the fuck man.
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>> No. 25938 [Edit]
>>25903
>I used to look at them and think with some pleasure that I was living in a different world, like a ghost gazing at aliens.
I used to feel this way, too, but now I sorely miss being so detached. Having been forced to become more engaged in the world around me just to get by, I feel as if I'm wandering ever deeper into a desert without a drop of water. I've lost touch with some vital, authentic part of myself: left it behind inside of me in a place I can no longer venture. I find myself wondering if it would be different if I still had a place where I could divulge my inner thoughts, a place where others divulged theirs and I could relate to them, or if even the anonymous imageboards of my past would fail to connect with me now. I am adrift. I'm 35 years old, and for years my life has felt like I made the wrong choice at some crucial event flag and got myself onto the path of a bad end. Except that nothing has ever felt like a choice. All I can do is watch my mental health decay a little more each day.

Apologies for rambling, and being a bit of a downer, but thank you for the opportunity to reflect.
>> No. 25939 [Edit]
>>25938
In my experience, the more I get into the world, the more unhappy I feel, and getting more isolated from it always gaves me peace.
It can be anything, some human interaction or reading the newspaper, it decreases, even if just slightly, my mood. I think the rest of humans just work the complete opposite so if I weren't conscious about this I would be completely miserable.
>> No. 25941 [Edit]
Escapism is the closest we can get to salvation
>> No. 25961 [Edit]
>>25910
Is this channel a 500 or so subs that uploads the soundtracks generally track by track, and in many tracks he puts a picture of the Synthesizer/something device he has? Most of his videos don't have even 20 views.

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23512 No. 23512 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit] [Last 50 posts]
You know what sucks about being a loner? Not having people to go to restaurants with. There is so much good food I would eat if only I had people to eat with. Going to a restaurant alone is weird. I could never do that.

I mean, every now and then I get food with people. But not anywhere near as much as I’d like.

Can you think of anything else you need a group for?
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>> No. 25878 [Edit]
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25878
>>25877
Some don't deserve nice things.
>> No. 25894 [Edit]
Nicotine actually, I feel like that’s something a lot of people here wouldn’t have. I took it up to get myself to stop drinking, and that and some other stuff did the job but then I developed a really bad nicotine addiction. I’ve been weening myself off slowly over the past month or so though and it’s been going pretty well, hopefully I’ll be able to stop for good soon
>> No. 25895 [Edit]
>>25894
you can't do nicotine without other people?
>> No. 25940 [Edit]
Op, I do a lot of things alone because I'm already used to be alone. I go to restaurants alone in a regular basis, I don't see it as weird because I don't care about society or what is perceived as weird because I simply just want eat tasty food and I don't need people to eat food or anything that I just need my body and money to do.

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25891 No. 25891 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
How would you describe your time spent in school? Did you enjoy it?

I skipped class a lot, and even when I was there I wasn't really 'there'. All I cared about was going home and playing videogames. Being at school felt pointless, and not just because graduating became less and less likely as time went on. I didn't want to think about my future and didn't care. It was like a punishment for some unknown crime I didn't remember committing. I didn't care about making friends or dating, all that stuff felt like it was for the normal kids. I couldn't conform and didn't want to. My teachers all just gave up on me, most of them pretended I wasn't even there, with the exception of one old hag I had in my last year who would send me out to detention the moment I walked in the door. Needless to say, I never went to any proms/dances or other school events. I've never been invited to a class reunion and wouldn't go even if I was. I even made sure to skip school on photo days, so that I wouldn't show up in the year books. The idea of spending tends of thousands of dollars to do it again for another 4+ years was laughable.
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>> No. 25914 [Edit]
>>25913
If that's the case, why aren't all schools like this? I highly doubt inner city schools are better. My school was similar to yours, in fact probably smaller, but while I was made fun of at times, nobody threatened to kill me or consistency harassed me or assaulted me. I didn't pay much attention to everybody else, but I don't remember seeing that kind of thing either. Maybe it's the time period.
>> No. 25915 [Edit]
>>25914
The private school where all the overtly evil stuff happened could have been an outlier. Things definitely weren't that violent when I transferred to public; junior high onward, my classmates' modus operandi was typically lying to and manipulating teachers or following me around harassing me, often about the lies they started about me. It is hard to say why exactly it happened, though.
>> No. 25932 [Edit]
>>25913
You don't have to be rich to go to a private school, many poor people send them there as a status thing. My mother(a warehouse worker) works with people that send their children there, there was also somebody in my area that sent their children there at the expense of everything else, the child was hospitalised for malnutrition in the end.

Maybe that is the cause of it, sending poor children that can barely even afford to eat to a school for upper middle class kids would breed quite a bit of animosity.
>> No. 25933 [Edit]
I always had trouble making friends, but for most of elementary school I wasn't too sad or lonely about it. I didn't particularly enjoy any subjects, most stuff was easy enough and I'd daydream a lot and draw here and there.

Middle school was when I started getting bullied, but lucky it ended after a couple of months when I got to sit elsewhere. I still mostly kept to myself, but I finally made one of my closer friends and we would write and draw stories together. After school I didn't join many clubs or groups, just heading straight to the library and reading books. Daydreaming a lot turned to relying on creative writing to really deal with how dull life got, even though I always knew it'd be hard to make any money off it. In 8th grade I had some good times playing Magic the Gathering.

9th to 10th grade was the worst and I wish I could just redo it. I'd want to say most of it was just depression and being immature and socially awkward. And then 11th to 12th grade things looked up a bit, I enjoyed a couple of my classes (useless philosophy and psychology) and made friends mostly over video games we played outside of it. Still, by that time I was frustrated enough with real-life that I didn't really try with 3D girls, but I don't think doing so at that age would be any better than playing a lot of games. I ended up having to retake some classes here and there but it ended up working out, and there was less overall time spent with school if you took required classes the first two years.

I spent most of college on my hobbies and I had some high streaks but also couldn't find the same level of friendship back in high school, and didn't enjoy video games as much anyways. There was an SSBM group I tried to hang out with but I didn't have the time or effort to grind skill as much as they did, I suppose I did go to martial arts club though. Classes could be pretty bad and I had been too lazy to change my major (probably would mean less time on hobbies if so) in the sense that there was usually a good deal of SJW brainwashing. Being stuck in apartment meant dealing with/facing certain people regularly, a brainwashed SJW and an alcoholic for my last two years. Still, I overall probably let the depression get the better of me back then and probably could've made stuff bet
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