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23024 No. 23024 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]
Last one is on bump limit.
Post Cute Anime Girls Every Time you Think About Killing Yourself v2
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>> No. 24907 [Edit]
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Today I have a headache and I think I might be getting a cold. Why the fuck am I trapped in this flesh prison? Who would consciously make a person to exist?

I feel that. If I had a dexedrine prescription back in the day maybe I could have finished a PhD in experimental physics with very, very hard work. Might have got a job as a technician or something. Theoretical? Nope. Pure maths? Not a fucking chance.
>> No. 24908 [Edit]
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Yesterday was my birthday. I didn't even notice until I saw that my dad had sent me an e-mail (which, as always, I didn't reply to).

If you want to feel smart doing something mathy without needing much background knowledge, check out which is about building an entire computer just from binary logic gates. Or maybe you'll get stuck and feel stupid instead, but either way I had a lot of fun with it and learned a lot about how computers work.
>> No. 24909 [Edit]
Happy late birthday.
>> No. 24910 [Edit]
thank you!

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24895 No. 24895 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
The term psychonautics derives from psychonaut, a term usually attributed to German author Ernst Jünger. Jünger used the term in describing the pharmacologist Arthur Heffter in his 1970 essay on his own extensive drug experiences Annäherungen: Drogen und Rausch (translated as "Approaches: Drugs and Inebriation").[1][3] In this essay, Jünger draws many parallels between drug-induced experiences and physical exploration—for example, the danger of encountering hidden "reefs."
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>> No. 24898 [Edit]
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9.73KB , 208x255. It's fucking tiny.
>> No. 24899 [Edit]
Someone explain to me what the fuck is going on with these threads. They pop up for no reason, carry no content, present no topics for discussion nor questions to be answered, only some confusing non sequitur. Is it a bot or something?
>> No. 24902 [Edit]
I've been wondering that too. Assuming that >>24897 is the OP then I don't think this is a bot, but if this is the case can OP please explain what the point of the thread is? While I think activity and thread-creation might be nice, creating threads that don't leave a lot of room for discussion just decreases the snr. In this particular case there's already a thread for "what did you learn today" type things (and just copying directly from Wikipedia seems lazy. At least please summarize *what* the essay is about!)

I assume you're also referring to

I don't think the quotes one is a bot, since it's too specific (I recall seeing that specific line on /jp/ some time back).

The other one, however, seems to fit a pattern of posts that seem eerily out of place (semantically correct, but just not fitting with the board as a whole), coupled with images that always include a full URL or path name. A few months back there were also one or two threads that seemed even more peculiar, one of which was a "spam" post linking to some shady site but the remarkable aspect was that it was interwoven cleanly into a post that seemed on topic (if I recall it's body was something of the form "Why are imageboard users leaving.. [link to sketchy site]" replete with a suitable anime image). I originally thought this might have been a GPT-2 based bot but honestly it's more likely to have been someone mass-targeting imageboards with links and a carefully crafted message. There's also made around that time which is similarly
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>> No. 24904 [Edit]
>I assume you're also referring to
No, these make sense to me. I meant ones like ot/res/33620.html and several others I can't be fucked to look for.

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24294 No. 24294 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Do you know what I find annoying? People who complain about being lonely without knowing what it's really like to be alone and take what they have for granted. Maybe they broke up a while back or are just going some time without seeing their friends, these people don't know what it's like to be truly alone. They almost certainly have someone there, siblings or friend or a parent, anything. They have people they can talk to if need be, people who will be there for them. They don't know what it's like to never have anyone.
The internet is my only social outlet, there's no one else in my life I can talk to. I can't even speak properly out loud because of how little practice I get, and it's such a bizarre experience if/when I actually do have a conversation with someone in person. Just being able to talk to someone is one of those rare things for me that normals take for granted. I feel like a ghost in this world, there but disconnected, observing other people as an outsider but unable to join them. I might as well not even be there as far as they've concerned. Even when I make online acquaintances, they never stick around long. I've learned to stop expecting anything from anyone. I still try all the same, to be friendly giving caring, but it never works for long. Their 'real' friends always take priority and win out. I can't even talk to anyone in my family. I have no brothers or sisters or cousins, only an abusive asshole of a father who I don't live with, my simple minded half deaf mother, and my insane uncle. I do still try with them, but it just ends up being a disappointing and frustrating experience each and every time. The real kicker here is that I don't even like being around people anyway. I like being alone and find humans annoying and obnoxious to deal with. I don't know if I'm lonely, or if I've just bought into the idea projected by society that everyone needs someone and not having someone is the worst most lonely thing possible. The times when I'm truly and completely alone without any humans around online or off are some of the most enjoyable moments for me. I feel like I'm just not cut out for intermingling with humans and trying to is a waste of time and effort, but I also find myself worrying in the back of my mind that maybe I've
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>> No. 24787 [Edit]
i feel like this a lot of the time. i dont have anywhere i fit in, not irl and not in the internet. i dont care much about going outside and being social but on the internet i still feel like an outcast in my friend group, like the awkward annoying kid who everybody puts up with but the older kids still allow him to hang out with them because they feel bad for how dumb he is and nobody wants to be the one to tell him that he isnt welcome

and thats the part that really hurts
>> No. 24788 [Edit]
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I think it's a paradoxical situation; his best moments are while being alone, but at the same time he feels lonely from time to time (usually when there's "people" around, I suspect).

I think the problem is a matter of expectations vs reality. You miss an ideal, a deep, meaningful relation (like the ones from fiction), while social relations are banal and boring.
So you end isolating yourself and being sour about it because you still have in your mind something you think you are missing. Or you try to force yourself and do what you are supposed to do to end terribly disappointed and sour too.
It's a dilemma that can't be solved and it can be applied to other aspects of life. For me I take the first option since at least it's less of a bother.
>> No. 24894 [Edit]
i cant say im experiencing /true/ loneliness yet but im on my way there.i have no real friends, i dont belong anywhere irl or online. im different from anybody i talk to or message and they can tell. I'll try to keep a conversation going sometimes or muster up the courage to message somebody to see if i can maybe just make a hair more progress towards becoming friends with them, but the conversations are dull smalltalk and generally just awkward, they only reply to me or carry on out of courtesy. either that or dont reply entirely

I'm on the path to loneliness, i can only hope that ill be stoic enough in the end to endure it. at least ill have my waifu
>> No. 24900 [Edit]
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Don't be afraid, once you're there is not as bad as they made you think. I think people like us get depressed when lonely because they have made us think we are supposed to feel like that, but if we can free ourselves from that mindset it's just fine.

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24601 No. 24601 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]
What happened to all the people who used to inhabit imageboards ~10 years ago? Given how poor the quality of most are now, I find it hard to believe that they are still active in those same places. Did they simply accept the inevitability of change and abandon imageboards for good? (While I find it hard to believe that they'd switch to something like Facebook, it's not unprobable that many just joined discord groups, also simultaneously resulting in the gradual decline of irc). Are they still there in small numbers but just drowned out by the influx of newcomers and low-quality posts? Did they escape to some uber-secret sanctuary?

The recent 8ch exodus led me to browse some of their various spinoff boards; I thought that at least one might recapture the same spirit of old but unfortunately none really come close. Tohno-chan is still perhaps the only place I've found where where post quality remains relatively high and discussion is thoughtful.
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>> No. 24884 [Edit]
Sorry, I have brain problems.
>> No. 24890 [Edit]
What's sad is that I've seen supposedly intelligent people (e.g. engineers, scientists) making the same mistake (while also usually trying to make a point that implies their superiority).
>> No. 24892 [Edit]
I believe there are a still a lot of oldfags left on 4chan, for a various kind of reason. Nostalgia, hope, inertia, you name them. Anyway, in the current internet is impossible to recreate a community like it was before. You either adapt, move on, or retreat to a small place like tohno, with its pros and cons.
Everyone in this thread feels like something is missing, right? I don't even enjoy anime like I used anymore, and now I just limit myself to rewatching my favorites or the odd old anime still in my backlog. I don't know if it's just part of growing up, but damn I feel empty.
>> No. 24893 [Edit]
I know that feeling of emptiness but personally I still enjoy anime and videogames, and I think I will always do. Problem is work leaves you so tired that most times you can only do braindead stuff. You need to put some effort to keep the passion, if you just accept that growing up means to stop enjoying things you're fucked.

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24516 No. 24516 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Tomorrow I will be going to a neurologist. I have been keeping up the masquerade and going through the motions for many years already, and I think that I can't fool anyone anymore.
People can tell that I'm not one of them, several incidents in the lasts days have ascertained me of that. My parents told me last night that the have already booked a appointment with a neurologist to whom they are acquainted with, and that is set for tomorrow.
I'm somewhat concerned with this, I'm afraid of what I would have to reveal, and the implications of such, but refusing to go doesn't seem like an option. Can someone who's been through this give some advice? Even if you have never been in a similar situation, I would appreciate your assessment.
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>> No. 24871 [Edit]
So this week I got the results. The doctor took quite some time to call me in, but the whole thing was fortunately pretty quick. She gave me a 10 page long assessment of the results.
In short, the results are inconclusive, there isn't anything you can really put your finger on. To be honest, I'm not disappointed, I prefer this way, not being sure of these conditions, living quantically between the normal and the not normal. I'm just tired of going to those clinics and this whole evaluation thing. I will still have to go to the initial doctor to bring him the results and my parents want me to engage in some cbt shit that will probably take at least a month, very optimistically, to end.
>> No. 24872 [Edit]
That would have disappointed me. Just an explation of everything would be good. "Autism", then you don't have to worry about your awful childhood, and horrible teen years and awkward adulthood, there's something that explains it so it's not really your fault, all it's okay.
It's nice you can be happy with that, I envy you.
>> No. 24887 [Edit]
>then you don't have to worry about your awful childhood, and horrible teen years and awkward adulthood, there's something that explains it so it's not really your fault, all it's okay.
Yeah, I get what you mean, and I sometimes saw it like this as well, but this kind of reasoning also brings a sense of doom. If all these bad things were completely out of your control then it also means they will probably keep happening and there's nothing to do about it.
>> No. 24888 [Edit]
>they will probably keep happening and there's nothing to do about it

Yeah, but I have accepted that since like a decade or more so it doesn't really change too much. I'm in the point of trying not to feel too bad about the past, not in the point of changing things or anything.

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24886 No. 24886 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
You're all cute. You're all adorable. It's not your appearance that makes you adorable, it's your being. Who you are. Just a friendly reminder, I believe everyone on this chan is adorable. Your being and your existence is something to be loved and adored, and I do! I love you guys! Please don't be sad anon, you deserve to be loved, be happy and live a good life. Forget what the normies define as 'good', do what makes you the happiest. That's what makes you so cute, adorable and lovely. I love you all! ☆ ~('▽^人)
>> No. 24891 [Edit]
What you wrote doesn't fit me at all, stop being so patronizing.

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24876 No. 24876 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Together or not together
These are the last traces of those dreamlike days.
>> No. 24877 [Edit]
Dispersed far apart and lost to the sands of time we are, the dream like days are long gone.
>> No. 24878 [Edit]
"Foam floats
upon the pools,
scattering, re-forming,
never lingering long.
So it is with man
and all his dwelling places
here on earth."
>> No. 24882 [Edit]
for I have seen the silver sparks
in crystal nights so long ago
and now I shall return to those
who laugh upon the pain
who see no clouds in empty skies
who fall down with the rain
>> No. 24885 [Edit]
Everyday is a dreamlike day
For me to awaken from this dream
What awaits for me?
Man cannot take eternity and count it
My only wish is to dissolve away into the darkness
Like salt in water
Away from the eyes of mortal man

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24840 No. 24840 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Does anyone ever go through chronic periods of emotional pain, like heartache? I've been experiencing some intense heartache for years now, I never had any relationships, so I don't know where this pain comes from. Or why. I've done endless self-reflection and introspection to find out where this comes from, and so far I've come to the conclusion it's a product of my loss of faith in humanity and the human race. I don't know what to do about it, it's really painful. If anyone got any advice, it would help I suppose.
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>> No. 24848 [Edit]
I read a book about subconsciousness recently. The idea is that the conscious and unconscious thought are rarely directly in contact and people can't uncover their deepest desire through deep introspection like in some Freudian therapy session. It is better to see the mind as a black box and determine its contents by your behavior and reactions rather than your thoughts. Of course it is wrong to deny your conscious thoughts wholly, but it may give you insights into things you can't get through rumination. Think about the history of how you react to different stimuli. Put aside your prejudice and try to judge yourself objectively, maybe by thinking that you're making an analysis of someone else. Imagine how you would feel in different situation. For example, someone may consciously think that he hates people and prefer to be alone but being alienated gives him emotional pain, so he can infers that he actually do feel some amount of desire for companionship without completely denying his desire to be alone. Maybe it's loneliness like the post above me says but I think you should still figure it out for yourself and jumping into improvebrah social-anxiety-fixing is not a good idea. You have to tailor-fit these advice to suit your individual conditioning.
>> No. 24852 [Edit]
This has been far by the most helpful advice I have comes across, I have yet to try your suggestions. Thanks anon-san!
>> No. 24853 [Edit]
I believe I'm going to take this advice to heart as >>24852 mentioned this seems like helpful advice and an interesting take nonetheless.
>> No. 24856 [Edit]
>I'm not sure how to best do this

I noticed something, the moments I feel more lonely are when there's people around (family or work usually, classmates time ago), when there's no people at all on sight I usually feel fine or even good. Maybe that could help.
So if you're truly abnormal (not saying you are, I don't know) and you try to force yourself into things you're not meant to like someone said you could end making your bad feelings even worse.

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24833 No. 24833 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Anyone feel severe anxiety before bed everyday? For me, the later I go to bed, the more afraid I get. I feel like if I don't go to sleep by the standard, 'normal' time, I won't be able to see daylight or will not be able to sleep at night. Anyone else feel this way?
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>> No. 24837 [Edit]
Same here, but only if I'm going to meet someone who would have an impact on me, like a doctor.

>... I feel even more anxious, at that point it just seems like a bad joke.

This hit me very hard, I totally know how that feels like. By the time I reach that point, I would get panic attacks just by thinking about sleep.

Same. I changed that habit early this year, but only because I thought my bedtime anxiety would disappear if I became 'normal.' Too bad I was wrong. Initially I just wanted to avoid the daylight and prevent myself from having to face another day, but eventually as time passed, I developed bedtime anxiety. I tried to turn my sleep schedule back to a normal one, where I went to bed in the night like a normal person, thinking that my anxiety would disappear. Haha... I was wrong...
>> No. 24844 [Edit]
It's the complete opposite for me.
I feel an extreme wave of anxiety when I try to force myself onto a "normal" schedule. I'm way more happier and comfortable staying up all night regardless if I see daylight at all or not. I'm only depressed while the sun is up anyways.
>> No. 24846 [Edit]
At least instead of having sleep anxiety and poor sleep schedule you only have sleep anxiety now. I don't even know how I would start to change my sleep schedule. Setting an alarm just means I'll turn it off and go back to sleep. Going to bed early will just make me lie down for hours before sleeping or my body treating it as a nap and sleeping for like 3 hours before I wake up and become unable to sleep again. Going to bed early is a good thing. You can take your time in dealing with your anxiety.
>> No. 24881 [Edit]
I guess I sometimes feel anxious/concerned that I once again failed to do anything I intended to do during the day. Then I either do stuff at 2am and screw up my sleeping pattern, or worry about having to do it the following day -- which means I don't fall asleep -- also screwing up my sleeping pattern.

I have had pretty bad insomnia in the past, but that almost seemed like a "physical" thing. After not sleeping for a few weeks I get a worsening psychosis. I used to have a stash of sedatives, but last time it happened I had run out. So shit just progressed as it does and I had to go to the hospital and commit myself. Definitely wouldn't do that again.

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22193 No. 22193 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
what is your disability?
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>> No. 24709 [Edit]
Im intersex (klinfelters xxy), Over the years i got diagnosed with a handful of mental issues such as MDD and Schizoid but i think it was mostly done to push pills on me. I do have Depersonalization/Derealization, Had it since i was 12 but didnt know what it was until i was 22, It made my life hell and the worst part of it is that no one understands it or believes me when i try to explain it out so i stopped bothering.
>> No. 24724 [Edit]
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I've been asking myself that since I was a kid.
For some time I thought I was just mentally retarded. Then autistic, asparragus and all the common places.
But I don't really know. Sometimes I can't do the most basic things, like assemble Ikea furniture, basic math, driving or differentiate between left and right. So from time to time I still think I must have some mental retardation.
Then there's other stuff like being unable to identify faces or women names.
Still, I think I have learned, with the years, to replicate the average human behavior so I don't stand out too much. But it's just not natural to me. I could go to a psychiatrist for a diagnosis but I'm also paranoid and I think they are mostly bullshit.
>> No. 24831 [Edit]
It's hard to find us anyway, we can fit in very well with others. It also seems like many people who may have the disorder could go their entire life not knowing. I read about it one day and realized I was a perfect fit to every symptom, knew I'd finally found my difference.
Here's a fun thing to do: go read the wikipedia article on schizoid. I find it very unsettling, as if someone who knew everything about me wrote an anonymous biography of my mind.

Post edited on 6th Nov 2019, 4:13pm
>> No. 24832 [Edit]
ADHD, semantic pragmatic language disorder, high-functioning autism and math learning disability. Probably also have tons of other undiagnosed medical conditions, but I prefer dealing with them on my own. Among them is probably OCPD and delusions, but I deal with them successfully so they go away for long periods of time.

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24769 No. 24769 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Is there anything that most people would call simple that you struggle with?
I have too many things and I need to get rid of some things but it's hard to bring myself to do it. I worry that someday I'll need one of those things but I don't want to become a hoarder. If this keeps up though, I will. I'm sure most would be able to just trash anything without a thought.
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>> No. 24827 [Edit]
I just brought up my post about my phobias driving. But I actually don't have problems being a rider. However, I mostly try to distract myself by observing everything outside looking to the side instead of at the road. Which if I'm looking directly ahead of me I'll get nauseous as you mentioned. So, maybe try that next time?

I also have difficulties with "small talk" and understanding what's appropriate or what's inappropriate to say to people. I also struggle communicating with people who's a bit older than me as well as a bit younger unless the conversation is online in a text form. I communicate insanely better through typing on my keyboard than I do speaking to someone. But what's strange is I actually have great speaking skills and speech but only if I'm talking to myself or say doing a "vlog". Even though I haven't vlogged since the beginning part of the decade as I quit YouTube in 2013.

I also have a problem with eye contact, I always try to force it when I'm having a serious or "professional" conversation with someone though out of attempts for respect. But then I feel so drained and depressed like I'm about to snap. I just can't handle it. I always try to look away or look around at my surroundings.
>> No. 24828 [Edit]
Having conversations, I can't really do it unless it's an argument or giving or asking for information.

I can't use Lawn Mowers because I am afraid of them so I use a weed trimmer to mow the lawn.

I can't work either.
>> No. 24829 [Edit]
>Are you in one of those places where mid-day naps are normal for everybody and being late is socially acceptable?

Naps are a myth and no one does that because almost everyone works until late but the part about being late is absolutely true. More than acceptable it's the norm.
Also problem here is how it's perfectly normal to sleep just 4-5 hours, everyone makes noise even past midnight and it's common to eat at 16:00 then to eat again at 23:00 or even later.
>> No. 24830 [Edit]
I see no problem with midday naps, being late being the norm, eating at 16 and 23 and making noise past midnight. I wish it was like this here.

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