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25323 No. 25323 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Post random things you remember. Little things that left an impression on you.

I was driving with my mom somewhere around the time I was in middle school. It was a long ride. I summarised the plots of eva and saya no uta to her. She seemed bored and a little put-off, but I think she was listening. Then she started talking about how Japanese people have a genetic propensity for cruelness which explained why they would make such things. I thought it was an interesting theory.
32 posts and 7 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 25630 [Edit]
>>25628
I don't know any internet influencers. I knew a shitton of working adults. Their always-busy lifestyle is superficial, an appearance they choose to conform with the 9-5 culture. Yes, they will always act busy if you need their assistance. In reality they're never too busy to miss an opportunity to execute a well placed jab. In terms of working I've never met anyone whose priority was their performance. In fact the vast majority puts most of their energy into social maneuvering and inventing ways of stretching out their tasks to the limits of possibility. As long as they appear productive to others and to themselves it doesn't matter if anyone's doing any real work. Let me assure you, not even operating dangerous machinery is important enough for a normal to skip a chance to fuck with the local reject.
People don't change, high school never ends. The 'adults' only learned to camouflage their baseline pettiness, greed, cruelty and fear with socially sanctioned repertoire of actions, attitudes and language.

>>25624
>https://www.emisary.com/splash

So what does it do? I can't find any details anywhere.
How exactly does it work? What were your assignments? How did you choose to go about completing them? How were you rated? What did you get out of it?
Does it offer any help to those who suffer or is it just another game devised to satisfy the normals' voyeuristic curiosity?
>> No. 25631 [Edit]
>>25630
Have you worked in a place wih deadlines and clients? What about hr? Are they useless? The possibility of a lawsuit should have some effect.

I'm going through the emisary thing currently. Will post results.
>> No. 25633 [Edit]
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25633
>>25628
I don't know. Not a big place, but not tiny. It did make me very self-conscious but I felt kind of flattered.

>>25629
>In my school they even had a prize for abnormal people, something like "loser of the year"
That's fucked up. Commisarations.
>That's what I've been told multiple times, that I had a problem of "attitude".
me too. I think we are similar.

>>25630
>The 'adults' only learned to camouflage their baseline pettiness, greed, cruelty and fear with socially sanctioned repertoire of actions, attitudes and language.
Yeah I agree with this.

>So what does it do? I can't find any details anywhere.
supposedly gives you a very accurate and objective analysis of your personality after you finish all 5 stages, according to a few people.
Message too long. Click here to view the full text.
>> No. 25635 [Edit]
That kind of stuff makes me remember of this;
https://www.16personalities.com/
I have a natural distrust of tests and personality cathegories, I did some research and it's supposedly based on something Jung wrote and some people say it works so well but I still suspect it has more to do with pseudo-science, tests from vapid magazines and the usual HR bullshit. If civilization doesn't go to shit I think someday this will be seen as the phrenology of our era. Or maybe phrenology will return, I think there's some voices advocating for that right now.

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25531 No. 25531 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
How would you like to improve yourself? In what ways and by what methods? I don't mean self-improvement in the generic, conformist, commercial bs kind of way. People have ideals and things they see as virtues. There might be the idea of a "quality person" in your head which you would like to be.
22 posts and 2 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 25619 [Edit]
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25619
>>25617
Yeah, Twitter is more about marketing than anything else but then it's a social media platform. I think it's one of the ways twitter is killing the industry(that and when artists that are actually good upload on Twitter and nowhere else).
>> No. 25620 [Edit]
>>25619
Oops, I was going to post that image as an example of how the guy who made it had 35k followers but then I decided not to but forgot about the image, ah well.
>> No. 25621 [Edit]
>>25619
>artists that are actually good upload on Twitter and nowhere else
Why would any of them do this? Why would they prefer to put stuff they invested a lot of time into on a place where people can't easily find it months, or years later? It's mixed with other posts, there's no tagging system, or title system that makes it easily searchable, so why?
>> No. 25622 [Edit]
>>25621
Exposure, I don't even have a problem with the lack of a tag system as I don't use Twitter but it means that even if I know the artist or they are having their work uploaded on a booru by somebody the quality will be awful because of coming from Twitter.

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23024 No. 23024 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]
Last one is on bump limit.
Post Cute Anime Girls Every Time you Think About Killing Yourself v2
436 posts and 306 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 25581 [Edit]
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25581
Relatively regularly, not as often as a month or so ago, but certainly at least once every few days.
>> No. 25596 [Edit]
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25596
I haven't been on this board for so long, I just came to post this cute anime girl.
I should probably post where-is-Waldo-style picture with anime girls for all the times I have been thinking about parting with world since I last posted.
>> No. 25610 [Edit]
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25610
This is happening too often now. At least taking the time to look for a cute girl to post helps me take my mind off it.
>> No. 25615 [Edit]
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25615
I'm so tired

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25611 No. 25611 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
What are the little things you enjoy? In day to day life, do you have any hedonistic pleasures which you cherish? A cup of tea or a warm bath or gazing at the sky. I love french yogurt. Especially vanilla. It's smooth and creamy and doesn't have a hint of sourness. It's nice.
>> No. 25612 [Edit]
I like to have earl grey tea. It feels nice and warm, and the taste comforts me.

Post edited on 20th May 2020, 12:23am
>> No. 25613 [Edit]
>>25611
For me personally is when I crush my enemies, see them driven before me, and to hear the lamentations of their women.
>> No. 25614 [Edit]
File
Removed
I'm a garbage photographer but i like wandering around

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22193 No. 22193 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]
what is your disability?
112 posts and 11 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 25606 [Edit]
After watching this lecture https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXiHStLfjP0 I've been reading The Master and His Emissary which is about the left and right brain hemisphere and how the left is taking over, and it's made me wonder about some things.

I've officially been diagnosed with schizotopy, although it might as well have been schizoid, and in the end I don't really feel it. I can relate to the things in the wiki article as well, but something seems to be off about it, as if it's really just one symptom listed as many. It could probably be described with "wanting to connect, but somehow being unable to". For some reason deep feelings like being hungry for love and having intense need of being involved with others are combined with being aloof and withdrawn which suggests the disconnect and also a wanting for it not to be so. It's like there's a war going on between the part that wants to connect and the part which wants to disconnect; it's like a war between the right and left hemisphere, in which the left hemisphere is winning.

I've been thinking lately how my surroundings coincide with my mental state. It's like my mind is closed, just as I've closed myself away from the world. Back when my parents got divorced, my dad kept a fairly large house and got a 3DPD soon after. I never ended up getting along with the 3DPD for different reasons, and most of the time I was secluding myself in my room on the upper floor with the 3DPD having the entire bottom floor, at least that's how I saw it. I never invited anyone over ever because I wasn't happy, but I didn't want to show it either. I couldn't talk to my parents either, and me and my sister was on bad terms as well. To sum it up I ended up secluded physically and emotionally, and I still am to this day. And while I call it seclusion, what it really is is a lack of connecting, a lack of seeing and being seen, hearing and being heard, feeling and being felt, a lack of physical, emotional and mental connection. I bottle things up, have a hard time voicing my thoughts, which in turn secludes me more.

If you live like someone who's mentally ill, you become mentally ill.
>> No. 25607 [Edit]
>>25606
>it's like a war between the right and left hemisphere

I think I always thought about the same you are talking but in completely different terms; more like the confrontation between expectations and reality. It's like the suicide dilemma, the suicide mostly loves life but because loves life that much he can't keep living in what it is a bad substitute of it or of the ideal he has of it.
For a more simple example, it's like having an exquisite palate and being given dry bread and nothing else. You will turn depressed and stop eating, then someone who can't catch the situation will say "this guy hates food".
>> No. 25608 [Edit]
>>25605
Question is then, why it did meet those parameters before? They just changed the parameters? I don't know but I can't help but feel it had nothing to do with a serious analysis or scientific methodology but because society just changed their views and they adapted to it.
>> No. 25609 [Edit]
>>25608
>They just changed the parameters?
The revisions to the DSM is a reflection of how plastic pychopathology as a whole is. For example paraphilias like sadomasochism used to be broadly represented but today a distinction is made between atypical sexual interest and a disorder. Earlier revisions routinely receive criticism for arbitrary definitions of normality, and the field as a whole was very also slow to adapt to new research on homosexuality.


It's a bit like how left-handedness used to be taught out of schoolchildren through the 1970's.

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25385 No. 25385 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
How do different times of day, seasons and weather affect your mood? When spring comes around, and it gets warmer outside, I feel more alive. All of my emotions become more pronounced. This is a double-edged sword. When I'm happy, I feel it much more, and when I am not, that is also much stronger. When it's warm outside, I feel like I have to do something, like there's got to be something to look forward to. Never actually happens though.

I love early morning the most because it makes me optimistic. Sunsets are depressing as hell because the day is ending and I never feel like I got enough out of it. By the time it's night though, that sense of unfulfillment is gone and I feel just fine. Rain and clouds are nice in their own way because everything feels the same the entire day.

Post edited on 14th Mar 2020, 2:57pm
7 posts and 2 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 25416 [Edit]
>>25405
I enjoy mid spring the most when temperatures have started noticabely getting better and I don't even need my large hoody anymore. But I also like the peak of the Summer cause I can endure and it keeps most people inside. But I can also appreciate the depths of Winter because how quiet it is allows for a lot growth and reflection. The cold air has something like a spiritually humbling effect.
>> No. 25419 [Edit]
I quite prefer Autumn, Winter, and early Spring over Summer. In my region there isn't a large difference in climate between the three aforementioned seasons (there tends to be more intra-seasonal variation than inter-seasonal anyhow), and so they all generally tend to cool days that culminate in sharp, crisp nightfall. I generally prefer wintry weather (so long as it doesn't get too bitter, which it never does here) since there tend to be fewer people out and about and the tranquil atmosphere is calming. Moderate rain is even better – so long as one is sheltered indoors – as observing the rhythmic pink noise of rainfall and bellowing of the wind puts one in a pensive mood, where you're almost humbled by the ephemerality of your natural surroundings (as >>25416 alluded to).
>> No. 25427 [Edit]
I enjoy fall and winter far more than spring and summer. Summer at least has some things going for it and the heat can be enjoyable sometimes, but spring in general I don't really like. The latter half of the year is the better half. I think the best part about spring is that walking around at night is more pleasant than it would be in the winter.
>> No. 25599 [Edit]
In nearly every way. Spring and Summer I am always more energetic, and in general more content with things. THings look promising, and I feel at ease. During Fall, things start crumbling down and I get more restless, rains a lot here, and I always have this sentiment that rain and thunder alike are punishments from God or something. I feel like an ancient hiding from unstoppable forces. This all said, i live in a so-called tropical paradise. From an outsider perspective "it's always sunny". But even so I feel those things very much and they peak at winter. During the middle of winter it feels like a mess. My mind and body feel like being attacked i am more pessimistic and all.
I also feel these things about morning and night, except they peak at summer. Around 5-7 pm it's the worst time. During winter everythin its too hazy to make out.Every winter is a pain to get through.
I even feel like the specific times when rains are connected with my emotions somehow, not because it rained, but before even raining.

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25554 No. 25554 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
In a good home of course, have fun every day, everyone loves you and you genuinely bring joy to those around you just by being you regardless of age.

Woof woof. Bark bark. I've taken the woofpill for happiness.

Look at that boomer the dog guy, completely out of it but gotta envy him.
>> No. 25555 [Edit]
>>25554
So like a child without any responsibilities? Dogs don't have hands, anon. Even if you cut off your own hands, at least there's prosthetics.
>> No. 25556 [Edit]
>>25555
Exactly, I've reached the point in my life where I feel I'm spiritually broken and my attempts at functioning in society have backfired. Some reason my motivation went to zero.

I do wonder what happened to that Boomer the dog guy though, he's been inactive for years.

I'm not a furry but I wonder if reality always catches up with people eventually, I know ulililia it did. Adulthood was worse than I imagined as I figured I'd only get major physical deterioration in my 40s and above rather than 20s...
>> No. 25559 [Edit]
It might happen in the afterlife. I'd think my sort of similar wish would come true like that.

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25362 No. 25362 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Hey /so/. It's been almost 4 years since I've been out of high school and I've been apart of the "underground" internet culture since 2012 and I've been coming here since mid 2015. I moved out of my parent's in June of 2018. Since then I've refused to pay for TV or internet so the only internet I've had is public wifi and the 2 G's I get on my phone every month. Since then I've dabbled in psychedelics and have been eating a sandwich almost daily. I've been having weird dreams of being in school again. I feel like I miss being around people my age and there's not many young people where I work. Is this what true loneliness feels like? I still feel young but how fast technology has moved over the last half decade has made me feel disconnected from younger people. I really do think I'm just getting old and disassociated from society. I have no idea where this is going, just a few thoughts I wanted to share with TC.

Post edited on 8th Mar 2020, 4:05pm
6 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 25371 [Edit]
>>25370
You Aren't thinking of the one that turns g0d into Haruhi are you?
>> No. 25392 [Edit]
damn it. i thought it was the other way around

i am not smart
>> No. 25417 [Edit]
>>25367
>I tried editing the post, seems to be a word filter for the herb
First filter I like.
By the way, I get what you're saying, those dreams I mentioned before have those same qualities as well, and I have also came up with similar explanations for the phenomena.
>> No. 25495 [Edit]
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25495

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25280 No. 25280 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
did you grow up poor
did you have an abusive childhood which led to you being fucked up
13 posts and 5 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 25373 [Edit]
>>25361
A country in south America called Guatemala.
>> No. 25479 [Edit]
Both. Didn't realize it until later on, though. I guess it's because even though I faced enough of it to fuck me up, it wasn't bad enough to be immediately obvious. It wasn't until my mid-teens that I realized that what I went through was not normal.

Like I lived in trailer parks and the hood when I was a kid, I lived with just my mom since my parents divorced and dad was always deployed anyhow, and I didn't have half the possessions that other kids had, but I didn't consider myself poor then. The way my childhood self saw it, my basic physiological needs were met and I had some possessions, so I was okay. Even though it wasn't a whole lot: some legos, a couple video games, and a computer so out-of-date that it couldn't access the internet (not that we could afford an ISP).
Or I got beaten and considered "retarded" by most adults I knew, but since the damage wasn't obvious enough to be seen as a sign of abuse, I never saw what I went through as abuse either. The only adults who never gave me hell were biological relatives and teachers. Stepfathers, babysitters, mom's boyfriend of the month, pretty much everyone else seemed to hate me. Hell, I remember being 6 and feeling like everyone hated me.

...Fuck. I've been trying not to dwell on this anymore, but thinking about this again makes me wish I would have gotten help back then.
>> No. 25481 [Edit]
I grew up poor when I was young, my dad got destroyed in the tech bubble burst and was out of work for a while. It wasn't too bad, lots of butter + pasta meals or stuff like mustard sandwiches, but livable. My dad was able to work really hard and dug himself out to the point where my family is now comfortably middle class (not that I live with them anymore).

I don't know whether I should describe myself as being abused or not. My mom wasn't great to me; I have early memories of getting stuff thrown at me, things like that. I wasn't a great kid growing up and acted out some as a teenager, but she did get physical with me a couple times, ripped up my baby photos, told me I make her want to kill herself, stuff like that.
>> No. 25494 [Edit]
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25494
everyone who was exposed to extremely common and widespread media sources was the victim of an abusive relationship with an important authority figure during childhood. kurt vonnegut described like this: when he was a little kid people would sing songs together and dance and entertain each other, but by the time he was older anyone who cut loose like that in public, even at a party, would be the subject of ridicule and negative comparisons to hollywood media celebrities. the big media outlets have subjected the western world to a multigenerational demoralization campaign and its worked pretty effectively.

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25491 No. 25491 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Have you ever felt like your brain has been so overwhelmed by an emotion, that eventually it ran out of steam and you were left feeling completely numb and apathetic? Most of the time this has happened to me with negative emotions, but there's been a few times where I felt an uncontrollable euphoria because of some incredible lucking out in bad circumstances.
>> No. 25492 [Edit]
My brain does not run out of steam, I never feel tired. Sometimes my brain switches from philosophizing to thinking in images, that's the point when I am able to dream for a few hours. Some kind of perfect idea, which I still have to comprehend yet, doesn't let me rest.

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25224 No. 25224 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
What are your most painful experiences with illness and general bad health? I'll get this started with some of mine. They're not too interesting.

I had a terrible fever once on top of a sore throat and very strained eyes, the kind of thing where moving them even slightly causes pain so you have to turn your head all the time. My forehead was hot, but the rest of my body felt freezing. When I stripped down to my underwear to sleep at night, I felt like I would die from the cold.

At one point I had something wrong with my stomach. I don't know what it was, but it was excruciating. Eating most types of food was out of the question and I lost some weight because of it. I was thin to begin with. At night I couldn't sleep. For eight hours straight one night I just tossed and turned in pain. I was a sharp sensation, coming and going at different spots. I used a soap suppository on myself and eventually it went away.

One year, right before a hurricane, I had a head splitting headache for hours. I almost never get them, but this one was intolerable. I had to take pain killers.

Post edited on 26th Jan 2020, 4:18pm
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>> No. 25268 [Edit]
>>25266
Yes.
>> No. 25270 [Edit]
I don't think that would block anything? The case I'm using has a solid metal front panel and no vents on the sides. It's one of those quiet models from corsair. Also ethernet wired so there's no wifi going to it which can also make me deathly ill rather quickly. I actually thought of making my own entirely metal box around it save for opening in the back to prevent overheating which I'm not worried about anyways since I don't stress it much and really the only games I want to play are old now. Plus I would obviously get questioned by my parent if I did and she already thinks it's not real thinking I'm nuts after I had the router moved from my room to the other room for my own safety. I really just want to a game console to play on occasionally but I can't even handle that especially not with HDMI hooked up to the screen, I need to use VGA because I don't handle it too well.
>> No. 25484 [Edit]
I was a shut-in outside of school from the age of 11 onwards. I was depressed, then extreme eye pain at the age of 16 kinda killed my emotions for a few years, I think I had erectile dysfunction by 16 too.

Fitness and goals helped a lot, but age 21 I got damaged knees, 22 a hiatal hernia and gastritis. So when I do fitness it's really just treating my injuries rather than progressing, it's very demotivating.

I'm now convinced my life will be an endless spiral of self-treatment till I die and I'll never achieve a comfortable physical body, as if I treat one I have 5 more to irritate me.
>> No. 25485 [Edit]
Acute cholecystitis back when I was a teenager. For months, there would be times where I had really strong pain in my abdomen that would last about an hour. Then one weekend I woke up with the pain and didn't go away. Couldn't keep anything apart from water down without throwing up for days. Despite that, my mom didn't think it was serious enough to warrant a doctor visit. Then I eventually started going into shock and finally got taken to the hospital, where after eight hours of tests and waiting they figured out what was going on. They kept me overnight and the next morning they operated on me to remove my gall bladder. My appendix was also removed, since that had absorbed so much of the bile that was leaking into my gut it would eventually lead to appendicitis. Spent another week in the hospital after surgery, and then a few months home from school.
>>25224
>One year, right before a hurricane, I had a head splitting headache for hours. I almost never get them, but this one was intolerable. I had to take pain killers.
I have this happen to me every time a storm moves into my area. Something to do with changes in barometric pressure or other environmental conditions. I hate that shit.

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