NEET is not a label, it's a way of life!
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24460 No. 24460 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
They say people find their niche...they say keep trying and eventually things will work out...

But I am convinced there is truly no place for someone like me. Anything I could offer, someone else could do better, and without being a morose, miserable, despondent person.

I am at odds with the world. The world is at odds with me. Square peg round hole.

A stupid person who is just smart enough to realize how dumb they are...there is no use for someone like that. I wish a freak accident would take my life and free me from this prison existence.

Up until recently, I still had a little hope. But lately, I don’t see a future where I want to live, no matter what happens. There’s nothing for me and the people around me don’t get it. I have been broken by a life of emotional neglect. I can’t put the pieces back together by myself.

I’m sorry if this thread is a waste of your time.
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>> No. 24471 [Edit]
I don't think it's useless. Personally, I don't come to these sorts of places for sympathy, but to get away from the gaslighting that takes place everywhere else. Why bother living if it feels like you're the last one left in a world gone mad? Denying human connection makes things worse, not better. Human connection is, if anything, the only way out. Discipline and self motivation are useless for people like OP. You need a certain level of self trust for those concepts to apply. People who are truly broken need to spend a long time doing psychological surgery on themselves to get that point. And psychology is fundamentally social.
>> No. 24472 [Edit]
Except many skilled and hard working people have terrible social lives or just zero interest in other people. If you're in love with programming or some other interest, the stupidity of other people doesn't matter to you. Strong people are self-sufficient. What do you mean by gaslighting? I have my doubts any imageboard can serve as a place for "psychological surgery" anyway. There's no evidence to show imageboards of any type have a positive influence on productivity or mental health in people who are lacking in those areas.

Post edited on 23rd Jul 2019, 11:11am
>> No. 24473 [Edit]
People also exist who are not skilled and hard working, and have no deep interest in anything. Telling them to be different will not make it so. They can cultivate those things, but different things work for different people.
>What do you mean by gaslighting?
Causing someone to doubt their own sanity through lies, dismissal, omittance, etc.
>> No. 24474 [Edit]
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I personally feel those people are a waste of time and will never cultivate those things without extensive help from people in real life, and even that might not lead to any progress, let alone a self-sufficient individual. I think getting advice from anons will work for an infinitesimally small number of people compared to hpw many have the exact same problems as op. I'm not telling anybody to change. I'm completely at peace with the way they are. Trying to fix every anon like this is sisyphean.

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24463 No. 24463 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
What is the meaning of life if you are not exceptional in any way, if you do not look exceptional, if you do not have exceptional talent, if you were not born in a unique place, you don't have any unique skills and you don't have a bigger goal in life?
>> No. 24468 [Edit]
I still feel this way from time to time. Did you ever read 'The Book of Disquiet' by Fernando Pessoa? It was written from the perspective of a very ordinary guy, broken up into short passages. I always found it a very comforting book to read when I couldn't sleep with these kinds of thoughts.
The English translation I have is by Richard Zenith and I'm pretty sure there is a pdf floating around the internet somewhere. I would put it up on /ddl/ if that was still allowed, but it shouldn't be hard to find.

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23024 No. 23024 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]
Last one is on bump limit.
Post Cute Anime Girls Every Time you Think About Killing Yourself v2
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>> No. 24447 [Edit]
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I used to have this same problem. The reason for me was that around this time, ironic weebs were everywhere, and whenever I saw a cute anime girl or beautiful anime pic, I would get this feeling of dread; that anime girls were ruined for me and that I would never be able to enjoy anime again (I know that sounds silly but I was also extremely depressed around this time so I was sensitive to even minor inconveniences). However, now that this ironic weeb fad is starting to calm down, (or maybe I just stopped caring) I have started appreciating them again.
Is it possible that you are experiencing the same thing or is it just unexplainable?
>> No. 24449 [Edit]
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It is definitely something different since I never cared about other people. The first thing that comes to mind is that I am sad that something so beautiful can't exist in my world and how my own life with it's ugliness and suffering clashes with the perfection in the picture. That does sounds like an oversimplification and I was wondering if another person here has more knowledge on the matter. From what I read of your post though, it seems that people can feel sad for wildly different reason from anime pictures so my hope of finding someone with the exact same problem as me but with more understanding of his situation is dashed. I hate having these perfect beautiful things that I can only imagine through a picture but at the same time I am also glad that I can find a speck of beauty in the wasteland that is my life. But a speck is all it is and in the end it probably only serve to make all the painful times more despairing.
>> No. 24461 [Edit]
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>> No. 24462 [Edit]
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Another suicidal ideation, another cute anime picture.

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24294 No. 24294 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Do you know what I find annoying? People who complain about being lonely without knowing what it's really like to be alone and take what they have for granted. Maybe they broke up a while back or are just going some time without seeing their friends, these people don't know what it's like to be truly alone. They almost certainly have someone there, siblings or friend or a parent, anything. They have people they can talk to if need be, people who will be there for them. They don't know what it's like to never have anyone.
The internet is my only social outlet, there's no one else in my life I can talk to. I can't even speak properly out loud because of how little practice I get, and it's such a bizarre experience if/when I actually do have a conversation with someone in person. Just being able to talk to someone is one of those rare things for me that normals take for granted. I feel like a ghost in this world, there but disconnected, observing other people as an outsider but unable to join them. I might as well not even be there as far as they've concerned. Even when I make online acquaintances, they never stick around long. I've learned to stop expecting anything from anyone. I still try all the same, to be friendly giving caring, but it never works for long. Their 'real' friends always take priority and win out. I can't even talk to anyone in my family. I have no brothers or sisters or cousins, only an abusive asshole of a father who I don't live with, my simple minded half deaf mother, and my insane uncle. I do still try with them, but it just ends up being a disappointing and frustrating experience each and every time. The real kicker here is that I don't even like being around people anyway. I like being alone and find humans annoying and obnoxious to deal with. I don't know if I'm lonely, or if I've just bought into the idea projected by society that everyone needs someone and not having someone is the worst most lonely thing possible. The times when I'm truly and completely alone without any humans around online or off are some of the most enjoyable moments for me. I feel like I'm just not cut out for intermingling with humans and trying to is a waste of time and effort, but I also find myself worrying in the back of my mind that maybe I've
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>> No. 24455 [Edit]
I find it odd that a community full of people who heavily use technology feel largely isolated and lonely.
>> No. 24456 [Edit]
Just proves that the "everything is connected" line you hear from silicon valley is a bunch of crap.
>> No. 24457 [Edit]
Eh, I always thought that referred to Internet of Things devices rather than social media and internet communities, which has a lot of people also feeling isolated. I don’t know though.
>> No. 24459 [Edit]
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>Silicon valley
I thought that was lain kami-sama.

No matter where you are... Everyone is always connected

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24425 No. 24425 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
I was a NEET for most of my life, tried to get out of it several times with work, antidepressants or drugs. Right now Im again in a situation where Im basically forced to socialize and I guess Im about to just give it up for good. Its extremely exhausting to be in social situations and I never got the feeling of it becoming natural. I always thought being lonely and not liking social situations was just something that I developed due to my situation as a NEET. People can change after all and usually, after a few months, once they get used to it, adapt. Not so in my case and I really cant tell if its depression or simply how I am. I dont feel any form of improvements if it comes to my mood. I absolutely hate to get up by my alarmclock, having to talk to strangers and colleagues and getting home when its getting dark again. Its literal hell and all I do is living from weekend to weekend, sleeping most of the time between work and getting drunk. Ironically enough, it feels like its not the work thats exhausting, its the contact to other people. People keep saying thats its good for your mental health to be productive and around people, but its quite the opposite for me. I guess being lonely, for some, is both, what we love and hate the most. Right now I miss it but at the same time I still have it because I cant connect to people anyway. In a way Im still alone, the only difference is the fact that Im around people now. At least this situation finally made it clear that Im definitely a loner and my future goal is to find something where I can work while being alone. I gave up on trying to live a normal life.

Sorry for that random wall of text, I just wanted to get it out somewhere. And I think here on this board are the right people. I hope all of you one day find the happiness we are all searching for.
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>> No. 24429 [Edit]
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Do you mean trading as in working for hedge funds/quant firms, or day-trading by yourself (possibly automated)?

In either case I don't really think you should have your expectations too high. Quant firms are notoriously very selective and essentially only take the top few high IQ geniuses from MIT/whatever. And I sort of doubt that even if you were employed you could do it alone: assuming they're like most other bs silicon valley firms you'll spend half your time in forced meetings.

As for daytrading by yourself (or building your own quant bots), this is certainly possible as a side-job, but it's unlikely to provide significant return over even just investing in indexed funds. Full scale prop shops/hedge funds have access to more data, better models, and faster computers so you're unlikely to really win at this against them. Even if you did go this route, most of the profit from low hanging fruit such as training simple regressors have been arbitraged out so you'd have to do some exotic feature engineering or models, the former of which is really hard without good access to data and the latter of which if actually done is probably worthy of a research paper.
>> No. 24438 [Edit]
Have you tried finding a profession you can work alone in? Probably obvious to ask this but if that is what will make you happy, you should try to change your situation if possible.
>> No. 24451 [Edit]
Being around others shows how lonely you really are.
>> No. 24453 [Edit]
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I’m in sort of a similar boat. Don’t see any place for me in the system outside of working from home. I am going to try to balance freelance web design and art work patreon. I already got the web design education and a year of field experience (cringey, retarded experience, but experience) now I gotta grind the art skills. Thankfully I can stay at my parents place which saves so much money. Thanks mom.

But I have some real mental health issues fighting against this plan and they are winning right now. Unemployed and lying that I said I applied to places...just wasting time now.

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24439 No. 24439 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Would you consider yourself ugly?

I was thinking before about the general consensus that the "pretty" people get ahead in life almost effortlessly, while the "ugly" people struggle. I've always considered myself resoundingly ugly in terms of appearance. I don't like anything about how I look and I've mostly just learned to not care too much about it, because I cant do much else. When I used to attend classes, people sometimes noted my androgynous features (thin nose, smaller jawline etc). Never in a way that suggested that it was good or bad, just that in the mandatory small-talk it was mentioned a couple of times. I observed that androgynous features like this are considered attractive in Japanese culture - when people said that about me, did they mean it in a good way or not? Maybe it was derisive, because whenever I encounter someone with alpha male status they have the exact opposite features.

I've never been granted any sort of special treatment, and in fact most people treat me like shit, so I have to assume that my culture doesn't regard these features highly enough to give me the pass that someone conventionally "handsome" would get. That, or the way I speak/act is so unusual that it offsets it. Would a total sperg with a runway model's face get ahead in life simply because of it? Similarly, can a 1/10 guy trick his way to the top with his other qualities? It also seems like the rule that pretty people succeed applies more to women than men, which is weird.

It's horribly unfair, being the only thing that the average person cant change about themselves (not counting people born into money who can have cosmetic surgery and cheat the system)
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>> No. 24445 [Edit]
I'm quite attractive. It doesn't actually matter if you are an unemployed shut-in living with his mum though.

In the real world a confident and attractive person would probably be more successful than a confident and unattractive person. Although some people really don't like attractive people and everything you do is under much more scrutiny because of it, if you so anything that a jealous person can gossip about then they will do just that.
>> No. 24448 [Edit]
I have those too. I'm probably not vain enough to do this, but the best way to get rid of the deep ones is dermabrasion where they remove a decent layer of skin from the area.
Talking of cosmetic "problems", I also have a missing tooth that doesn't look great. Again I don't want to do anything about it, but in a late capitalist service economy I can't help but be paranoid that one day it will be the difference between getting a job and sleeping on the street.
>> No. 24450 [Edit]
Do you have good dental health?
>> No. 24458 [Edit]
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I have no fucking idea to be honest. My mom says I'm good looking and I don't see any particularly glaring flaws in my face, but no girl ever showed interest in me (thank god for that) and lots of people commented on how weird I look. Maybe it's just a posture thing, or maybe my mom is just too nice. All I know is, I've never been accepted into any group ever, friends or otherwise, and I'm an unemployed friendless highschool dropout virgin. I wouldn't change my looks for the world because that's just me, it's who I am. If nothing else, I do love myself and my own identity over the world.

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22193 No. 22193 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
what is your disability?
30 posts and 4 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 24416 [Edit]
I'm not sure what you would call it, but I have a hard time sleeping during nighttime hours. Only when the sun starts to peak through my blinds around 5:30 am or so, then I am out like a light. Is there a medical term for this or am I just a sperg?
>> No. 24417 [Edit]
The anon above you has a type of that. There are a handful of circadian rhythm disorders and I suggest you look into them if it’s a concern to you.
>> No. 24419 [Edit]
Is it possible that its learned behaviour? Some people are just wired to be night owls but its also possible that its a habit. I used to be like that but only allowing myself to be in bed between the hours of 1am to 7am for a couple of weeks fixed me I usually fall asleep around 1am now. I didn't really answer your question, basically it might be something you could fix if you wanted but it might not be either.
>> No. 24424 [Edit]
I think it's a combination of both. I recall there were likely some genetic markers that predispose you to being a night owl, but it's also the case that a lot of people's circadian rythms are offset more than they should be due to things such as blue light exposure after sunset

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24394 No. 24394 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
girls r dumb
im posting juan punchman instead
2 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 24397 [Edit]
But fren, your filename refers to this chap as the famed Anime Guy, not Juan. There appears to have been a mix up.
>> No. 24398 [Edit]
If you liked Anonymous, you’ll love Derpanon! You never know what nutty things will go down when he’s posting! DERP!
>> No. 24409 [Edit]
Women are imbecile, yeah, insofar as women.
Move on.
>> No. 24415 [Edit]
I, for one, welcome it. I just hope it doesn't become a meme word like "epic" did in the past couple of months.

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22622 No. 22622 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit] [Last 50 posts]
What keeps you from committing suicide?
57 posts and 8 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 24399 [Edit]
This is a weird thing to bring up but do you think the people that had no issues ending their lives is why this site has so many issues connecting with people with similar interests like they used to in the old days? people in their 20s have either moved on or killed themselves, which is an epidemic.
People who have gotten this low in life and still not committing suicide is somewhat comforting.
>> No. 24400 [Edit]
If you’re in a comfortable enough position to be a hikki/NEET what is so bad where you are considering suicide? Mental health
>> No. 24402 [Edit]
>If you’re in a comfortable enough position to be a hikki/NEET ...
Let's be real though. Although being a NEET is a "good problem to have" as it were, there is always a constant anxiety that it will end. Few people are in a comfortable enough position to live that way forever.
>> No. 24413 [Edit]
im a hikineet and i dont carew if it ends, ill just an hero when that happens

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23927 No. 23927 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Enough pessimism! Share some stuff you're happy or thankful for in your life! Or just talk about something good that happened recently!
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>> No. 24386 [Edit]
I tried it out without much expectation, but I found myself smiling a few times while "talking" to it. It's impressive, although I'm afraid to try things that will break the illusion with it.
>> No. 24387 [Edit]
Give it the name of a not so bright girl like >>24381 so the more bizarre responses don’t break the illusion!
>> No. 24388 [Edit]
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It's okay
>> No. 24389 [Edit]
How does it compare to cleverbot? I don't really want to create an account and download an app just to try it. And I've tried a few of these chatbots in the past but it always ends up a relatively one sided conversation.

I'm also really suspicious of what their funding model is and what they're doing with the info/input provided by users.

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22527 No. 22527 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Do you think you might be cursed in some form or another? If so, in what way?
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>> No. 24371 [Edit]
Could you drop the hostility? That's not doing anyone any favors here.
>> No. 24372 [Edit]
Update: I definitely wonder sometimes if I have a mild haunting that makes me unusually unlucky. People always point out to me how things only break or weird things happen when I’m around, or just flat out tell me that I’m unusually unlucky. I’m not sure if it’s karma, or there really is a god that’s punishing me, or if it’s all in my head. I don’t know what to do. I’ve been thinking of turning towards religion, because I lack direction or really anything of substance in my life.
>> No. 24373 [Edit]
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It is hard to explain without going into a lot of cumbersome specific details, but I believe that the world is constantly trying to undermine my happiness in life. I think the motivation is that the powers that be are afraid of my growing magical powers (read: inordinately good fortune). As such, I view a lot of things as a struggle between the world and me. Unlike >>22529, I don't think good fortune and bad fortune necessarily have to reach a balance; one can dominate, but it is an ongoing struggle between the two.
If anyone's interested, I think that detaching my mind from the physical world through appreciation of ideas and artificial constructions fuels my magic, whereas getting bogged down in worldly bullshit weakens me.
>> No. 24385 [Edit]
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Oddly enough, I've reached a similar thought process. To add to that, I think "the world", as an entity, is an enemy to individuals, but especially those who recognize it.

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