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25323 No. 25323 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Post random things you remember. Little things that left an impression on you.

I was driving with my mom somewhere around the time I was in middle school. It was a long ride. I summarised the plots of eva and saya no uta to her. She seemed bored and a little put-off, but I think she was listening. Then she started talking about how Japanese people have a genetic propensity for cruelness which explained why they would make such things. I thought it was an interesting theory.
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>> No. 25329 [Edit]
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25329
>>25328
We're always told that we just have to look for like-minded people. For some group of identical individuals who we'd fit right into. That's very easy for some, others are good enough at changing themself to fit into some group, and then there's people for which no group exists, and they are unwilling and or unable to put on a permanent facade.

Back when I was in grade school, when making one or two aquaintances was almost natural, I've tried getting other people interested in the same things as me. If nobody cares about what you do, maybe you can get them interested, I thought. First I'd get intently interested in whatever they are, so they'd be more receptive. Talk about what they want all the time. It never worked. I got one guy I knew to watch Akira and Ghost in the Shell, and he drew comics as a hobby, but after giving it a chance, he flat out told me that he just doesn't like the "anime style". Most other people wouldn't watch anything you suggest, ever.
>> No. 25331 [Edit]
>>25329
Most people doesn't have "interests", not in the same way we understand it. In high school I actually got some people into anime and other stuff, it's amazing how being such a loser I could be influential at any degree.
But it's always temporary, people grow up and focus on "important" things. Just think about the expression "killing time", for most people the more important movie or book or anything is just that and getting emotionally involved will be kinda dumb for them.
>> No. 25332 [Edit]
>>25327
Your prose in the second paragraph is very good; I was briefly immersed in your words.
>> No. 25333 [Edit]
>>25331
They do but anime is different. For most people it's just a phase.

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24601 No. 24601 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]
What happened to all the people who used to inhabit imageboards ~10 years ago? Given how poor the quality of most are now, I find it hard to believe that they are still active in those same places. Did they simply accept the inevitability of change and abandon imageboards for good? (While I find it hard to believe that they'd switch to something like Facebook, it's not unprobable that many just joined discord groups, also simultaneously resulting in the gradual decline of irc). Are they still there in small numbers but just drowned out by the influx of newcomers and low-quality posts? Did they escape to some uber-secret sanctuary?

The recent 8ch exodus led me to browse some of their various spinoff boards; I thought that at least one might recapture the same spirit of old but unfortunately none really come close. Tohno-chan is still perhaps the only place I've found where where post quality remains relatively high and discussion is thoughtful.
214 posts and 26 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 25301 [Edit]
>>25298
Truth be told I think we're just trying to find our lost fellows, but if you're an OG wiz then I don't think you'd have much trouble fitting in.

>>25299
Yeah 8chan went down so quickly we didn't have time to co-ordinate anything so we were scattered. As for it seeming dead, that's because it's the bunker board and we only started using this week. Our main board is back up now though.

>>25300
>>still on a rickety multi board site instead of being on it's own domain
I waited a while before creating /tower/ because the original /tower/ BO said he had plans in the works for our own imageboard. He's disappeared since 8chan went down and nothing has surfaced. Creating an imageboard takes time and I've been looking into it but I'm a complete novice when it comes to it so it is taking a while.
>>talk in the meta thread about advertising on /r9k/
1 post suggested it, but the reply to the post is clearly against it and /tower/ was never advertised on /r9k/.
>there's no reviving that last vestige of comfy wiz culture. It's dead and gone as far as I'm concerned, sorry mate.
I beg to differ - we have all the same posters, so why won't it still have the same culture? Magicchan took a while to build up that culture, and we haven't been on /tower/ long.

I can't force you to go anon and I understand if you don't join the rest of us. Whatever you do, I wish you the best, from one mage to another.
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>> No. 25303 [Edit]
>>25301
I don't personally like being a board on a bigger site either but I'll go just because it's one more place in the tiny pool of places to refresh every day I have left, I sometimes think of leaving the internet altogether. But if I leave the internet altogether in theory where would I go? Nowhere, what's even left besides mindlessly wandering around outside or staring at a wall? I need a new planet.
>> No. 25308 [Edit]
I ditched 4chan when memes and 4chan stuff started becoming mainstream and exploding all over mainstream sites like reddit and stuff. 2010 or 2011 I think.

I remember being a shy, introverted, friendless loser nobody in middle/highschool. As the 2010s came into fruition I realized that I was foolish to build my identity around anime, video games, internet forums, as I saw all of these things beginning to get the Big Bang Theory treatment, as they have today.

I started browsing 4chan/ED etc in 2007, I was never an SA goon or a cool guy like a pirate/cracker/hacker but I hit the 10+ mark.

I even browsed PSL forums and have day 1 accounts the incels.co forums, I became disillusioned with that also.

All I can say is that I am just a ghost, a zombie of a man. True virgin, loner, creep, friendless, jobless, alcoholic, nobody. If Im some rare breed of internet veteran no-lifers, my suicide is overdue by a long shot.
>> No. 25322 [Edit]
>>25308
Yeah I remember it was 2011 too when something about the internet altogether started shifting for the worst. 2012 was meh and then it all just tanked from there as the internet started catering less overall to desktop users and more to the internet of things smart zombies, now we're left with this dystopian shell of an internet with a lot more content but a lot less human.

Before that though I realize I didn't even have much of an identity. I had a nickname I went by for a longer time than I do now but I was always on the sidelines cause I didn't have much to draw from especially back then. I wish to do it again sometimes and this time though I was born to be a screw up anyways not be quite as much as one with a second chance. I'm going to wake up tomorrow, it'll be the first day of school again , all this was just some weird nightmare, and I'll have what I learned from it to try again with.

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25306 No. 25306 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
I hate having to go outside. I don't want to be around people and exposed to the elements. I hate it out there. I regret even thinking I wanted to go out somewhere.
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>> No. 25311 [Edit]
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25311
I don't mind being outside itself, but I fucking hate being around people and their garbage. I feel really ill every time I have to go out into the city to run an errand. The streets are covered in trash and accumulated filth and grime. The rickety old buildings are all in varying states of disrepair and a patchwork of random additions and subtractions. Human detritus lay on the grimy sidewalks, sleeping where others shit. Centers of human habitation are truly disgusting things. Unfortunately for me there's pretty much nothing but city where I live. What I'd give for a dirty creepy-crawly infested hovel in a forest somewhere...

I don't much like being cooped up in my room, but at least inside I can use the internet to escape, and I am mostly safe from people.
>> No. 25313 [Edit]
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25313
>>25306
I don't dislike being outside that much, but I'm always afraid I will get an uncomfortable encounter with another human since for some reason that has been happening to me really often for years.
I wish I could live in one of those nordic countries or Japan were people just avoid each other or they act extremely politely if such encounter can't be avoided.
I just don't like people pushing me or screaming at me, something that's really common were I live, it leaves me feeling bad for hours.
>> No. 25314 [Edit]
I don't like going out, but it is tolerable for me. Other people, especially strangers, make me very nervous, as if I expect them to try to harm me. I also feel like people spy on me from small cracks, behind closed doors, through walls, etc., which is unpleasant. As such, I like to spend time alone at home and make my outings infrequent, purpose-driven, and short. I'd spend all day everyday at home if I could.
>>25311
I hate how other people trash and wreck things as well. I don't mind things merely being old or deteriorated by time (e.g. old books, buildings that are otherwise well cared for), but litter, vandalism, and carelessness by people is disgusting to look at. Why is it so hard for normalfags to not make a mess?
>> No. 25321 [Edit]
>>25314
I avoid the busy times like the plague even though I like being outside in itself whether I'm buying groceries or cashing in cans/bottles like usual. I've gotten some negative attention and shitty situations because you can't avoid people not noticing you doing the same thing every day but only once did someone try to do just that. They got away with it too because no one cares when it's me it happens to in broad daylight at that and I let it go. Ruined the whole night and had to throw away all the clothes I had after.

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23024 No. 23024 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]
Last one is on bump limit.
Post Cute Anime Girls Every Time you Think About Killing Yourself v2
418 posts and 296 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 25317 [Edit]
>>25316
>If you want to be good, you have to be willing to work the rest of your life.

We're not talking about being the best at anything, we're losers and nerds so I was just thinking about little things. Maybe anon can tell us about his projects though.

>>25315
That's because you haven't failed enough, at some point you have to accept your life is just a big failure and then you stop caring and start doing something. Or maybe not and you stay like that, I don't know.
>> No. 25318 [Edit]
>>25312
>Your projects need to be a nuisance, something that bothers you, doesn't let you sleep and fill you with guilt.
Thank you for putting into words what I'm experiencing.
>> No. 25319 [Edit]
Find a hobby that isn't a perpetual contest. Acquiring knowledge that will be obsoleted or training skills that deteriorate is a waste of time.
>> No. 25320 [Edit]
>>25319
>training skills that deteriorate
Are there any skills which don't deteriorate with lack of use? Even if you pick up something really specific, like making bird houses, and you get so comfortable with it that there's no challenge what so ever and you don't have to worry about practice, and there isn't much room for improvement, wont that just get boring eventually?

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23927 No. 23927 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit] [Last 50 posts]
Enough pessimism! Share some stuff you're happy or thankful for in your life! Or just talk about something good that happened recently!
52 posts and 12 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 25269 [Edit]
>>25260
Probably shouldn't post this in the optimism thread but my dad isn't as lucky.
>> No. 25272 [Edit]
>>25269
Just use all the time you have left and spend it together. Don't miss the chance if there's anything you needed to talk with him about, but never did. Nothing left to do but to try to be close and support each other. Makes it easier both for those who die and those who live afterwards.
>> No. 25273 [Edit]
>>25272
It's a little too late, he's in a semi-conscious state. His condition deteriorated rapidly and suddenly, nobody suspected anything and he was just fine until not too long ago. We have a dysfunctional relationship and I've been estranged to him but it's funny how your feelings could play out at times like this. I'm trying to make the best of what little time there is but I try to avoid my honest feelings since there is quite a bit of bitterness, I'm just trying to put him at ease as much as I can. There's so much mixed feelings in me that I can't comprehend. Thank you for your reply though, it helps me feel a little more at ease.
>> No. 25302 [Edit]
>>25265

The doctors say that she needs more exams in two months, but I fear that she will need go through a surgery. As for myself, I'm quite anxious because, I will go to a cram school the entire year so I can prepare myself to college admittance exams. I need study a lot of math to pass on it and I'm horrible with math, I'm anxious, and I think I need study at least 5 hours a day after the cram school so I can get a good score.
I'm still worried about mom. I can't lose her now since I'm not prepared financially and emotionally to lose here right now.

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25280 No. 25280 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
did you grow up poor
did you have an abusive childhood which led to you being fucked up
8 posts and 4 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 25290 [Edit]
In my experience rich people are much cooler and nicer than poor people, but if they were from a poorer background and then got rich maybe they would be worse people.
>> No. 25291 [Edit]
>>25289
>You'll have a hard time trusting anyone
I already do.
>where do you go from there?
You could become a philanthropist. If I was rich I'd buy tons of bluerays of shows I want a second season of and give them out for free.
>> No. 25296 [Edit]
>>25280
50k~ total for 3 person family. We were not too far from the poverty line but life wasn't too bad. I lived with my grandma and parents sent down money at times. State covered my insurance growing up. Plenty of food, never went hungry. Never got all the new games growing up but I got a lot of consoles and just waited till the games became used.

The worst part was not being poor, the worst part was having mentally ill toxic family members. Every single day there was some sort of screaming or verbal abuse. It got so bad, I had to go to the mental hospital because I threatened to kill myself. Family was not terrible but extremely toxic and hard to be around. To be honest, I had to learn about life in my latter teens from the internet. You know, how to budget, how to save, how not to get into debt, how to manage college. All from the internet. Sad really. My only guidance in life were people at worship or my uncles. Dad's mom (other grandma) was sweet too, along with my grandfather, but I didn't see them all the time. Too busy paying off debt.

I don't blame my family too much for the toxicity though. There was a lot of incestuous rape, killing, and violence in my family history.
>> No. 25330 [Edit]
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25330
Just the latter mainly, I had an abusive father, and my mother left over 20 years ago to follow her career/dreams. She didn't even come home for her parent's funeral, I was the one taking care of my grandparents until the end. I still talk to her, and she asks me for money at least once a year. Guess that career she left everything/everyone behind for hasn't worked out so well.

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23723 No. 23723 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Did anyone else have a sort of normal life and then spiral into NEETdom and so on?

I was living fairly well, had lots of friends, even had a few 3DPDs. Then crippling depression and anxiety kicked in during my first year of college and you know the rest.

Refrain from mentioned your disgusting 3DPD love-life, nobody cares.
29 posts and 2 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 24100 [Edit]
>>24072
Since you were fit during your NEET years Im assuming your gym was your home or room. Ive been wondering to be a fit NEET aswell, care to share routines, items (if you need any) you used, etc? complete noob btw.

If you did go to gym, dont bother replying because I wont go outside.
>> No. 24101 [Edit]
>>24100
Not him, but you can do pushups, situps, squats in your bedroom. That and eating right is enough to get fit.
>> No. 24106 [Edit]
>>24100

I done it both at home and in the gym. At home I bought a squat rack and weights and followed the program 'stronglifts 5x5'. That's a really simple routine, maybe you could try circuit training stuff too though I find it hard to motivate myself doing it at home (I used to play on the computer between sets).

I joined fitness classes after a year of that and made a complete fool myself regularly (I think) but was so clouded I didn't care since I knew isolation would result in complete misery.
>> No. 25293 [Edit]
>>24072

This is me, I've improved even further.

However, I suddenly had a loss of motivation and despite being really happy mentally I couldn't focus while studying.

After this I had a bit of a breakdown and am still in a really depressive phase, the most insane thing aboout success is how the standards keep rising higher and higher.

I don't know if this is just me but I feel I'm always wanting more. However, I think I'm internally broken from my parents arguing during my childhood and me locking myself in my room for all of high school moreorless.

I felt SO close to a true victory of happiness! I guess my latent introversion denies me.

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22527 No. 22527 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Do you think you might be cursed in some form or another? If so, in what way?
23 posts and 5 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 24372 [Edit]
>>23573
Update: I definitely wonder sometimes if I have a mild haunting that makes me unusually unlucky. People always point out to me how things only break or weird things happen when I’m around, or just flat out tell me that I’m unusually unlucky. I’m not sure if it’s karma, or there really is a god that’s punishing me, or if it’s all in my head. I don’t know what to do. I’ve been thinking of turning towards religion, because I lack direction or really anything of substance in my life.
>> No. 24373 [Edit]
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24373
It is hard to explain without going into a lot of cumbersome specific details, but I believe that the world is constantly trying to undermine my happiness in life. I think the motivation is that the powers that be are afraid of my growing magical powers (read: inordinately good fortune). As such, I view a lot of things as a struggle between the world and me. Unlike >>22529, I don't think good fortune and bad fortune necessarily have to reach a balance; one can dominate, but it is an ongoing struggle between the two.
If anyone's interested, I think that detaching my mind from the physical world through appreciation of ideas and artificial constructions fuels my magic, whereas getting bogged down in worldly bullshit weakens me.
>> No. 24385 [Edit]
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24385
>>24373
Oddly enough, I've reached a similar thought process. To add to that, I think "the world", as an entity, is an enemy to individuals, but especially those who recognize it.
>> No. 25292 [Edit]
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25292
>>24016
Small update:

I was genuinely happy between the months of September-Mid January. I woke up every day motivated thinking things are gonna go great.

I imagine that's how regular people feel. However, for some reason I has a massive anxiety attack over future careers, started comparing myself to others and moreorless had a breakdown and now have been very depressed for over a month.

I achieved happiness! But of course, for no apparent reason I decided my life must be super amazing awesome beyond happiness, only to falter and breakdown due to feeling no stress towards my exams, nor any motivation.

I've thought about dying every day again reeeeeeeeeeeee

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25201 No. 25201 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
I remember posting here when i was a 20 year old NEET. Feels like a lifetime ago. Remember Railgun? That was back in 2009 wow. Can you believe that? The new season started last week and the girls haven't aged A DAY.... while I'm 11 years older, balding and so fucking ugly. I can hardly recognize the abomination staring back at me when I look at the mirror. Back then I thought I'd never get a job and that I'd die a virgin. But I got really lucky and it all worked out I guess (I still hate women though)
18 posts and 4 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 25276 [Edit]
>>25274
>I think the non-ephemeral nature of Discord (combined with profile pictures and ability to post inline images) worsens this issue.
I was going to post something to this effect too. There are those who bemoan IRC's transience and lack of rich media features, but these are features. (Less is more!) After all, chatting with someone isn't supposed to come with a history other than memories. If one needs some form of permanence, images, profile pictures, or whatever else, use a damn forum. And somewhat related, fuck Github and the whole social-coding-media faggotry.
>> No. 25277 [Edit]
>>25276
What's wrong with Github? I sometimes get nice programs or mods from there, so it seems alright to me.
>> No. 25278 [Edit]
>>25277
Not that anon, but Github is alright as just a place to dump code I suppose; it's their push to make things more "social" that's less then stellar. Though this is really subgroup dependent; wading into the "issues" section of a webdev repo is usually a minefield, and I'm pretty sure that's what led to all this "code of conduct" nonsense. From a technical side it's probably adequate, although their PR system is atrocious and their search is complete garbage.
>> No. 25279 [Edit]
>>25278
Eugh, I had no idea. I just used github as a platform for collecting and uploading light programs.

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25224 No. 25224 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
What are your most painful experiences with illness and general bad health? I'll get this started with some of mine. They're not too interesting.

I had a terrible fever once on top of a sore throat and very strained eyes, the kind of thing where moving them even slightly causes pain so you have to turn your head all the time. My forehead was hot, but the rest of my body felt freezing. When I stripped down to my underwear to sleep at night, I felt like I would die from the cold.

At one point I had something wrong with my stomach. I don't know what it was, but it was excruciating. Eating most types of food was out of the question and I lost some weight because of it. I was thin to begin with. At night I couldn't sleep. For eight hours straight one night I just tossed and turned in pain. I was a sharp sensation, coming and going at different spots. I used a soap suppository on myself and eventually it went away.

One year, right before a hurricane, I had a head splitting headache for hours. I almost never get them, but this one was intolerable. I had to take pain killers.

Post edited on 26th Jan 2020, 4:18pm
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>> No. 25266 [Edit]
>>25264
>electromagnetic hyper sensitivity
Is this a psychological thing?
>> No. 25267 [Edit]
>>25264
>electromagnetic hyper sensitivity
I had no idea it was that severe. But instead of needing a special low power setup, couldn't this be solved by putting a normal computer in a Faraday cage or something?
>> No. 25268 [Edit]
>>25266
Yes.
>> No. 25270 [Edit]
I don't think that would block anything? The case I'm using has a solid metal front panel and no vents on the sides. It's one of those quiet models from corsair. Also ethernet wired so there's no wifi going to it which can also make me deathly ill rather quickly. I actually thought of making my own entirely metal box around it save for opening in the back to prevent overheating which I'm not worried about anyways since I don't stress it much and really the only games I want to play are old now. Plus I would obviously get questioned by my parent if I did and she already thinks it's not real thinking I'm nuts after I had the router moved from my room to the other room for my own safety. I really just want to a game console to play on occasionally but I can't even handle that especially not with HDMI hooked up to the screen, I need to use VGA because I don't handle it too well.

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25236 No. 25236 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
How would you like the world to be? If the world could be changed completely, what would one in which you were happy look like?

Rule: It can't be 2d; the fundamental construction of the universe has to stay the same. You can remove your knowledge of 2d if necessary.
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>> No. 25255 [Edit]
>>25251
>especially higher-technological society must restrict freedom in order for it to function. The more complex a system, the less perturbations it can handle
That reminds me almost exactly of Kaczynski's view on this.
>> No. 25256 [Edit]
>The more complex a system, the less perturbations it can handle
I don't think this is true. More complex systems have plenty of safeguards. A few errors and rogue elements don't disrupt the larger system, which is compartmentalized. Simpler system can break very easily. Compare a human body to a single cell organism, or an addition program to a game.
>> No. 25257 [Edit]
What you all fail to realize is that regardless of time or place, the freedom of people to do abnormal things will always be restricted by normal people. Is is a fundamental aspect of civilization that outliers must not be allowed to roam freely within it, else they will disrupt social solidarity and encourage lifestyles and mindsets that do not benefit the system. It doesn't matter whether they do it with religious spooks or technologically advanced hyper-mob rule. An abnormal person in a normal society will never be allowed to be free, not even to entertain himself with his imagination. We just were not made for this life.
>> No. 25262 [Edit]
I've lately been coming to peace with this myself, I don't know where I would be able to function and fully integrate but it's certainly not here. I have my fun here in this world sometimes, good enough.

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