/so/ - Ronery
NEET is not a label, it's a way of life!

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21083 No. 21083 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Lately I have been feeling more and more like a child. Increasingly simpler things have been making me happy, like familiar foods and memories of places I have enjoyed. Even doing something like consciously sitting on my couch now makes me happy. I don't do anything weird, like making extra effort to behave or dress like a child, it just happens mentally.

Does anyone else find themselves feeling the same way?
3 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 21096 [Edit]
>>21087

I had never feel like a child, nor like a teen or an adult, I have always felt very out of place, like if something was very wrong with me.
>> No. 21105 [Edit]
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21105
I felt like a child in my late teens-early 20s, but was because I was doped up and treated like a retarded baby by my parents. I would be an excellent example of someone who was severely psychologically and emotionally abused, and ended up being broken.

Outside of that, though, I don't feel like any age. Before the aforesaid period, I felt older, and I now feel older again. I feel as if I've been anything and everything in my 32 years.

I guess what is kind of childish is that I don't have any kids/relationship and I don't have a job, but I'm wise enough to know that those things do not make you a worthwhile person in any way, at least on the inside. They simply make you more useful to others. I suppose that is what a real adult is supposed to be: something to be used. That is how most people judge others, it seems. When people know that I have no job and no kids, most see me as a loser. But you know what? The rest play a game where even if you win, you lose, and I won the game by realizing it isn't worth winning in the first place. Or at least, so I tell myself.

I just try to contemplate things now, and see if there is more to this world, or the mind, that most people realize. I don't any tangible goals outside of getting a book published, and I guess that being simple like that makes me enjoy life a bit more.
>> No. 21112 [Edit]
>>21105
I think it is fair to note that many people achieve self-fulfillment in being of use to others.

I think, more than anything, people are most fulfilled when they have a goal, and they are actively approaching it. When that goal is defined by having a positive impact to society, the individual will have feelings of satisfaction when they do stuff like volunteering, effective donations, etc. If your purpose is in wealth or power, people will feel great accumulating more wealth or power, regardless of the objective gain. And if someone's purpose is in being great at their job, they will find happiness in striving to be their best.

However, all of these are dependent on society allowing the individual to pursue their purpose, preferably unmolested. If someone is trying to be an angel in a black hole of society, it might just wear them down. If you try doing your best at a dead-end job, you will most likely be rewarded with nothing more than more work (which might be OK for some). If you are a pawn and try to play the king, you will more likely wind up with the Queen going off with your head.

For NEETs, your passive existence is inherently opposed by society, both in economic and emotional relationships. You pretty much have to support your own sense of worth, because society will ignore and deprive you for disengaging from it. As most humans need some external sense of purpose, most permanent NEETs tend to be dysfunctional in a way that weakens this link.
>> No. 21376 [Edit]
>>21083
Every time I catch my self falling into boredom anon.

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21309 No. 21309 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Do any of you ever feel like you just don't know what you want out of life? Maybe you feel like something's missing/wrong but you don't know what it is?

I've had issues with depression off and on for a long time, and have tried to work through it and fix what's wrong on my own.
I thought I knew why I felt like such shit, I thought I knew what was missing from my life. What I found however was the closer I got to the things I thought I wanted the more uncomfortable and filled with regret I became.

I think I may be starting to finally accept that there's really nothing at all missing from my life, but that society, family, and the media would have one believe they're not happy unless they live like a normalfag with a 3dpd and a job they hate.
I know deep down I don't want any of that crap and there's no reason why I shouldn't stay a weeaboo virgin NEET for life, but I feel like I've been tricked and lead astray into believing that's the wrong way to live.
This life style, being glued to a computer all day and having next to no social interaction... it really actually isn't so bad. It's realizing that which is the hard part.
4 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 21335 [Edit]
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21335
>>21309
Don't believe too much in what other people say, we're made the same, remember? What may hurt you, may also hurt me.

You seem like a great person. People like you show trust, humility and else which words fail me.
Trust your own words, your feelings, put yourself above all else but don't stomp others, this is easy for you.
Ironically, it's almost impossible for normals, they become blind in themselves, turning a shadow of what they once were. A stomping machine.

I'll tell you this much, i came to be to make a person the happiest i could and so i did. This is truly what i wanted the most in life, the answer that i was looking for, i can die happy any time, as soon as my final blood ties are gone.
>> No. 21336 [Edit]
>>21335
Fuck yeah, brother.
>> No. 21338 [Edit]
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21338
Who knows op.

To want nothing. Just to wait, until there is nothing left to wait for. Just to wander, and to sleep. To let yourself be carried along by the crowds, and the streets. To follow the gutters, the fences, the water's edge. To walk the length of the embankments, to hug the walls. To waste your time.
To have no projects, to feel no
impatience. To be without desire, or resentment, or revolt. In the course of time your life will be there in front of you: a life without motion, without crisis and with- out disorder, a life with no rough edges and no imbalance. Minute by minute, hour after hour, day after day, season after season, something is going to start that will be without end: your vegetal existence, your cancelled life.

>> No. 21665 [Edit]
>Do any of you ever feel like you just don't know what you want out of life? Maybe you feel like something's missing/wrong but you don't know what it is?

I think so. I don't even know, though, man. It feels like I don't want anything. I am living an objectively good life, NEETing off my dad, I'm able to spend all day in my room on the computer, I have plenty of food and water, the living space is not filthy or anything. Hell, I do not even do many chores, just doing things when my dad knocks on my door to ask me too, which I doubt is even half the time those chores are done.

I don't know what to do, nothing is appealing. Mostly I just play solitaire nowadays. Imageboards are dull, I have no hobbies or interests so there is nothing to read there. I used to think I liked video games, but now all I play is Counter-Strike, and not much of it, either. I used to think I liked to read, but since 2014 I have only read a handful of books, and none in the past year or so. I'm able to watch movies and TV shows, but I don't pay attention half the time, mostly I have them on the main monitor and play solitaire on the secondary one, and I don't care to discuss the shows, anyways. I listen to music while playing solitaire most of the time, but mostly the same shit over and over. I am too stupid to form any actual opinions, or have any thoughts about the artfulness of the pieces, or think of any meaning or depth for the movies and music, so it's even more pointless to try and discuss them on imageboards.

All I do nowadays is think about people I used to know, things I used to do. I replay these over and over in my mind. Sometimes I imagine them playing out differently. When I do that normally I'll really flesh it out.

It seems like the present and potential of the future are meaningless to me, instead I masturbate to the past and daydreams of what could have been. I'd say that these daydreams could be what I want out of life, but I don't have any drive to actually pursue any of it. It would not be too difficult to do, I don't think, but my imagination seems to be good enough. Content to waste my time, lost thinking about not wasting my time. Or maybe that is all just beating around the bush to hide fears of things
Message too long. Click here to view the full text.

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20920 No. 20920 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Does anyone else experience negative side effects while on anti-depressants? I get really sleepy a few afters after eating them, and also it has some negative sexual side effects. I can fap for ages and ages but I feel very little stimulation and I have to go at mach 10 speed to cum.
15 posts and 1 image omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 21237 [Edit]
Had SSRIs and SNRIs, only thing they did was to make my anxiety worse. Things that actually work are Valium and alcohol. I mean a shot of whisky, beer does nothing and is less palatable, especially when I'm making cocktails.

Fuckhead doctor now tells me to try exercise, you should have said that first you trend hopping quack. My hands will, a year on, sometimes contract involuntarily like when I was on the pills. Yes give the anxious guy who rides public transport grope hands, that'll fucking help his anxiety.
>> No. 21272 [Edit]
bupropion / wellbutrin is like the opposite of most anti-depressants. gives you some energy, makes you horny, makes you less hungry. i recommend it
>> No. 21278 [Edit]
Why are my antidepressants making me more depressed?
>> No. 21345 [Edit]
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21345
Been on sertraline for years and it certainly affected me, the higher the dose the more l last while fapping and sometimes it was so exhausting that I had to stop it and give up without finishing.

My libido has diminished a considerable amount as well.

>>21278
It takes at least a month until they start "working", it can get a lot worse than your usual depressed state, specially the first few weeks you begin taking them, it's a common side effect.

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21317 No. 21317 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
I know how to make money!

Hear this.
Learn how to edit videos and add effects and all that shit.
Now find a normalfag who's funny, really funny.
Now jump in the youtube let's play/review movies/videogames bandwagon and earn MILLIONS.

Of course it may not work, but as long as the person doing whatever is likable, then you'll get subs and free money, maybe not millions but you know, enough to live month by month.

What do you think of my brilliant idea?
8 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 21326 [Edit]
do I have to make vomit-inducing WACKY THUMBNAILS like all those videos have?
>> No. 21328 [Edit]
>>21326
What do you mean? You can't multiply without numbers.
>> No. 21330 [Edit]
>>21329
What kinda fetish would get maximum stupid meme appeal/hate purchases, do y'think?
>> No. 21331 [Edit]
>>21330
Go with tentacles, definitely. Or something like animals as your 3DPDs, something silly like that.
Like an harem of humanoid insects or each girl representing an animal of the zodiac.
You could call the game Zodiac★Harem.

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21241 No. 21241 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Has anyone tried to kill themself here? How did you survive and how did it affect you?

I think about it almost every day and it and it has been getting more intense lately.
17 posts and 2 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 21304 [Edit]
Please don't kill yourself, it's really not a great answer. There are probably ways you can change your life or your perception of yourself to make it more enjoyable.

If you must, wear a diaper and leave a note. Think about the people who'll survive you.
>> No. 21305 [Edit]
>>21300
have you tried a course of antidepressants for a minimum of 3 months
>> No. 21306 [Edit]
>>21305
Six different SSRIs and some more uncommon ones (agomelatine, bupropion, mirtazapine, MAOIs). Everything was trialed for at least six weeks. I don't think I am actually clinically depressed -- anhedonia, amotivation and apathy are just core part of my personality or something at this point.
>> No. 21308 [Edit]
>>21304
It's an understandable answer, Ford Driver.

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20993 No. 20993 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
If you divided up your life into percentages of good, "meh", and bad, what would it come out to?
19 posts and 5 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 21141 [Edit]
>>21126
>manic elation
I hope it lasts you or you're able to get some sort of left over reslove from it. That feeling you've described has almost always ended up in leaving me feeling slightly worse than before.
>>21137
She doesn't look all that smug.
>> No. 21142 [Edit]
>>21138
Did you really fall into depression just because childhood ended or were there some deeper issues? Just curious and I tend to overanalyze things on my end.

I feel like even when I was a kid I had trouble expressing feelings and being happy with friends/family, most of the time being lost in fantasy.... Right now maybe the only difference is that fantasies have more love interests and the fights are a bit gorier and even darker themes perhaps.
>> No. 21212 [Edit]
Popped open Excel and did some number-crunching, rated each year in my life from 1 - 5 starting at age 3, then used the ratings to assign points to good/meh/bad scores.

Final percentages ended up being 14/57/29.
>> No. 21266 [Edit]
>>21142
Pretty much the same here.

At the time I thought it was a winter depression, but stress was probably the major factor. As a kid I lived happily and carefree inside "my world". Nowadays there are just so many things you need to come up to. You forget a single one of them and everything becomes unstable, you get punished and suffer from regret or even the punishment itself.

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19947 No. 19947 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Adults should have to apply for parental licenses. Seriously. Bad parents almost guarantees a messed up kid.

Long story short, my parents are REALLY fucked up, and they are really the last people who should ever have kids. I used to think they were normal, and that everyone's lives were equally messed up, but after telling other people about my situation, I've learned that's not the case. I probably could have gotten them arrested for their abuse, negligence, drug use, etc. but I'm not that kind of person.

Who else has shitty parents?
41 posts and 2 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 20691 [Edit]
year the youth in asia better paid for those old motherfuckers cause i sure ain't gonna
>> No. 20695 [Edit]
>>20681
That's because China is still a back water nation outside of the city, where the parants of the girl pay for everything and boys can be used for heavy manual labour. Both are things that don't really happen that much in first world nations.

>>20688
please see >>20690
Since natural selection is dead, we need to take care of it.
>> No. 20698 [Edit]
Turboedging in here.
>> No. 21233 [Edit]
My sister always tries watch those dumb vines when my sister comes to visit me. I do not get what is so funny about encouraging your kids to swear on camera, or act all slutty with your mom, or all the other vines parents in there 20's post, featuring there kids. Yet people laugh because they just assume they don't know good from bad. What a horrible time to live.

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21072 No. 21072 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
It's a silly question, since I doubt anyone here is really sure of it (unlses you are happy, then good on you) but I can only seem to think of the endless void of life, rather than the bits in between.

Most of the time I feel useless because a lack of talent, all those years on video games and I'm not the guy making them, or taking education to reach there one day. I've never been able to draw well and my general awkwardness reduces my ability to become a voice actor even before knowing if I have talent or not. It shouldn't get me down as much as it does, since it's the very few who reach there, but I guess years of sadness/isolation end up in me only wanting to reach obscene goals or dreams.

Someone mentioned to me once that he'd need power to be happy, and have people serving him and making him feel wanted. That resonated with me a little, but rather than power from others I'd rather myself to be powerful/talented instead of it just being a birthright kind of thing.

I'm rambling, but I worry about being too far gone after I dropped into nihlism for a few months and still am in it, though at least a constant feeling of anxiety has left.
6 posts and 1 image omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 21189 [Edit]
>>21079
>Focusing on the end goal is how you know you don't really want to do something
I thought this for such a long time. That if I want to get into drawing or programming or whatever it is that I want to do with my life that I can't because clearly, I don't like practising it and if I don't like that then I don't truly like it at all. You know how many years I wasted because I held beliefs like that?

In my mind, I have an idea of what kind of programs I want to make and what kind of pictures I want to be able to draw but in the end, when I see that my attempts to create those things are seemingly endlessly far away from what I envisioned mentally, it was so frustrating that I would give up. I would give up because clearly, I don't "actually" want those things. The reality is that I do want those things. I do want to create those end-results and there's nothing wrong with this. There's nothing wrong with being a results-oriented artist. I think the difference is that for those who enjoy the journey, art is a means through which they express their nature whereas for those who are results-oriented, art becomes a form of rebellion against it. That's definitely how it feels to me. When I try to improve my artistic ability, it feels like, just a little bit each day, that I've stolen the powers of creation from the Gods. I have defied them and accomplished what was not meant to be possible for me. When I see that I put in so much effort to accomplish something which someone with talent did with ease, I don't feel distraught. I feel a deep sense of gratification. It's not "Aww. I have to work this hard to get those results" but rather, "A person has to be this talented to get my results". I know that I'm not a "true" artist. That I'm a fake. That I'm not doing as what was intended for me. That I'm not following the grooves that were laid down for me and you know what?

You can go fuck yourself.
>> No. 21190 [Edit]
>>21189
Wow calm down I just said do things you enjoy so you don't have to force yourself to things.
You actually sounds pretty tense. I'm guessing you still haven't found a way to express yourself that you actually enjoy. You should keep looking.
>> No. 21191 [Edit]
>>21190
Sorry about that. I just re-read my post and realised how it looks. In the moment when I was writing it, I wasn't thinking of you at all. I was thinking of whatever God it was that I was rebelling against. In my mind, I had a middle-finger held up against the sky rather than you and lost in my euphoria, I started talking to it rather than you. I only wanted to express that feeling directly. It didn't come off the way I hoped at all. No offense meant to you.

As time progresses, I've become increasingly convinced of the possibility that our talents are actually skills that we developed in our previous life. I've seen musicians play pieces that they mysteriously felt that they had played before. I believe that at some point in one of our previous lives, these talents that we have actually started as "unnatural" skills that we either forced ourselves to develop or had some kind of emotional support to help us develop. The settlers who came to America and were paid money to plough the land, land which had never once up until this point been ploughed, they frequently broke their tools trying to soften the ground. The next generation however had a significantly easier time dealing with the land. It was tough and likewise, as I blaze these new trails and plough these new lands, I encounter a similar stiff resistance but that's okay. When I reincarnate, I'll be able to pick up where I left off and the next "me" will find it natural.

For me, the true nature of art is taking the unnatural and forcing it to be natural. You've tamed this wild, unyielding beast. Yes, I'm tense and I suffer but this pain is meaningful so I embrace it all.
>> No. 21215 [Edit]
I've been miserable for years, but just 2 days ago I started stepping out of my "safe zones" and "bondries" and shit, and I've actually started feeling like life has a purpose. I think challenging yourself to do things you wouldn't normally do can only lead to happiness.

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20642 No. 20642 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
I'm not sure how appropriate this is, so I'll remove it if needed. I'm 23 and a lot of the time I run into people I can't relate very well with on waifu and anime websites, not just because I'm a probable autistic NEET but also because most people seem to be mid teens (or under 20) and grow out of things. I don't have anything against younger people and I know in the real world I'm considered relatively young myself but I just find it easier to relate and can't help but be curious on what age most people are, I guess there will be a decade between some users, maybe including myself and a 33 year old.

I don't really know what else to type, thanks for the website it gives me something to do other than be stressed all day.
46 posts and 3 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 20878 [Edit]
I recently turned 27. I gave up around age 14 or 15 and became increasingly reclusive. I have a job now but outside of it I never leave my apartment. At one point I was fully shut in for 6 months (didn't even leave room unless I had to shit) when I was 20. I have maybe 4 friends (all from this site) but other than that I don't really know anyone or interact with others. I've gotten really good at surface level interactions with normals and that keeps people at bay pretty well when working.
>> No. 20882 [Edit]
>>20878
>I've gotten really good at surface level interactions with normals and that keeps people at bay pretty well when working.

I've actually been getting the impression lately that you're actually a lot more normal than you realize. Not you personally, but I think that the thing of yours I quoted is true for a very large fraction of the people who appear to be normies.
A the start of Sept. I got a new job which is kind of salesmanish so I've been interacting with way too many people and also abusing anxiety drugs and while its pretty fun as I get to know these people I realize that so many of them are way too awkward and uncomfortable in their own skin to be normies. They're just faking it like you and me, most of them are also using "performance enhancing drugs" AKA drugs.
My own life history is this
Periods of time when I've been financially secure: Sober hikki N33T
Periods of poverty: Stoned 22/7, reliable, intelligent, hard worker who makes lots of money and gets promotions and raises swiftly. Even when I'm high all the time I like that couple hours of sobriety in the morning after waking up.

I bet I'd rich as a motherfucker if I never believed in that "drugs are bad" shit and was just high since I was 13 years old, probably be long since retired and rich and having my own private island near tokyo that I would invite 2D high school club members to visit.
>> No. 21037 [Edit]
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21037
>>20686
thanks friend, hope all is going well on your end.
>> No. 21204 [Edit]
I'm 31.

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21149 No. 21149 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
This is my first lonely Christmas without any family and I just want to wish you guys a Merry Christmas.
10 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 21201 [Edit]
Merry New YEAARS
>> No. 21202 [Edit]
>>21201
Merry Happy New years!

And to everybody else, of course!
>> No. 21203 [Edit]
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21203
Happy New Years!
>> No. 21211 [Edit]
>>21209
Ring in the new abomination!

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20995 No. 20995 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
No matter what I try nothing is enjoyable. I keep trying to do new things too so maybe they will be fun. Different video games, creative hobbies, athletic hobbies, studying, research, drugs, exploring, socializing. Nothing makes me feel good. I'm just like dead inside. Should I just end it?
5 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 21046 [Edit]
When that happened to me, I had to learn how to enjoy things again. This is probably going to sound stupid, but I had to actively figure out how things could be entertaining again. If I waited to be entertained, or for something to just grab me, all magical like it did back in the day, then nothing would stimulate me. No matter how new the experience was, it was hollow. If I stopped everything, put full attention on just one thing and actively searched for what was entertaining or how something could be entertaining or what good values it had, I had a slight chance of being able to feel a little stimulated from it. After doing it enough times I managed to rekindle my zest for a couple things. Everything else is still a trial though. For example, I can watch and enjoy anime again, but I still struggle with how to enjoy video games again.

Maybe if instead you focused on the quality of your experiences instead of trying out a bunch of random shit, it might help? It also might not, but I don't know what else to tell you.
>> No. 21052 [Edit]
Something similar to your affliction haunts me most of the time as well, though I manage to rein in on it through drunkenness, which makes most everything tolerable.
However, for me, it is not that everything bores me - on the contrary, I was, and repeatedly become again, spirited about all things I tried to pass the time with at some point. What erodes the very core of my soul is that everything, after the initial excitement subsides, appears as it is; a diversion that keeps me from doing what my love for life compels me to. Everything is escapism, even (or maybe especially so) work in an imperfect society seemingly hell-bent on (self) destruction that needs not to be abolished but given a complete overhaul. My discontent with the world and my desire to make it right keep me from escaping it.
What is it that keeps you from enjoying things? Do you have an idea?
>> No. 21054 [Edit]
>>21052
What would you change about society? Genuinely curious.
>> No. 21086 [Edit]
Daily life is so very "meh", with enjoyable things few and far between.

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