I don't have the most job experience, but restaurants are usually ready to hire the inexperienced as dishwashers as such, which is dirty but not too tiring, although some of the better restaurants do get really busy. Also if you're good enough at just grinding shit out like numbers and names (data entry) you might be able to look around for temp office jobs, I had one grading papers, but that usually isn't much more than min. wage either.

My second quarter (my college system was different) was also pretty frustrating especially because throughout my whole freshman year they pushed SJW crap the hardest, but I guess since then I did manage to turn it around and finish my degree.

>>23082
I can confirm that restaurants are pretty okay. If you can get a hospitality cert to do basic kitchen hand stuff you can also get a decent wage too because you're technically skilled labour rather than unskilled. I earn 50% on the wait staff where I work and while it's intense when it kicks off at peak service, it's not too bad overall. If I work a sunday for example I'm looking at ~$35/hr and around $50/hr on a public holiday and the certificate was I think $20 and a couple of hours online coursework.

If you can get a cheap apartment, you can live comfortably with decent hours. I work under 20 hours a week and easily pay my expenses with money to spare. I recommend kitchen work if you have the motivation to stick it out since it is very anxiety-inducing to begin with. I had plenty of panic attacks when I first started but it was root hog or die so I had to stick with it and I got used to it.

I'm not from the States though so YMMV.

I've been in this situation before and you need to drop out ASAP.

I got bullied lots in grade school and that led to a mix of home and private schooling where everything was a comfortable little padded room. It was a lot better at the time, but it made college hell. Like you, my parents "helped" pay for it (meaning they bought a few textbooks and gave me some gas money), until the student loans came knocking, at which point it was my responsibility. Didn't even know what I was getting myself into... several years later I was heartbroken and $8800 in debt I was led to believe I wouldn't have to pay back...

College, even a shitty community college like I went to will eat you alive. Being able to learn the material might not even be that important, being able to present it, play the social game to get exceptions and extensions, that's what gets you through college. And I didn't have any of that. Not to mention being able to regiment your time to make sure everything gets done, since colleges don't give a shit about making it easy. They get paid either way; you'll go through periods of nothing to do, and times where your entire life is studying. Point is, you're just not in a place to handle college mentally. When I went, I wasn't either, it's not a knock on you, just a statement of fact.

My advice to you right now would be to drop out before you wreck your GPA and credit too badly. That's what I did, can't get a loan, can't go back to school. Not until I pay off the money I owe at least, and that's going to take a while.

Find a shitty job you can tolerate like >>23083 mentioned. Keep in mind I said "tolerate" not "enjoy" because you're not going to find that. Save your money and get away from your parents. They want the best for you, but it's smothering. You can't breathe with them around, they won't let you because they're too worried "we care so much" "all we want is for you to be happy" they'll say. And the only way you can have that is if you get away and enjoy a sense of independence they've never let you have.

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>>23079
It's too late into the semester for that plus my speech impediment makes it a bit hard over all, and correction it's not that I haven't told my parents them they just don't know that I skiped class a few times. I told them I'm failing but they just told me to keep doing it and don't drop out.
>>23080
>Why was I homeschooled
I don't really know my mother never really gave me a straight answer.
>That story
I always wanted to just run away to California and live off of the welfare. But I don't have a car (i'm burrowing my parent's).
>>23082
>>23083
Yea I knew a guy who lived off of restaurant money, he said it was doable but hard and social. I don't think I can do that.
>>23085
Thanks to the info. I really did think about all that stuff, from just moving out to living in a car. And really I don't think I want that, I don't really know what I want at this point. I think I should just end it here. Thanks for the all the advice, and for the fun times. This site really was a nice distraction from it all.
Thanks Again

>>22825
>banning a dead guy
Waste of time

>>22983
They're very likely alive and the ban was very likely temporary.

I suppose the most polite thing would be to wait until all of your ancestors are dead.

I liked one I saw on another chan

"Death is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."

>>22996
Sounds like something Oscar Wilde would say.

Sorry, no spoilers.

Anyone read this? I've fantasized about being able to craft some grand philosophical treatise, but I doubt I'd ever get there.

>>23016
I read that ages ago. I'm sorry to say that it isn't anything of substance, it goes over grounds trodden by religious orders without adding anything new to the mix. 3/10 could be done better.

my parents helped me get neetbux and find a place to live. without them i'd be living on the streets. i'm so useless

Baby steps, OP. Why work 9 to 5? My first job was 10 pm to 7 am.

>>22870
How do I get neetbux? Obviously I need to be diagnosed, but I'm worried that won't be enough. I've got many many problems, but I worry none of them on their own are severe enough to "count". They all combine to make my life hell, but alone I imagine they don't seem important.

>>22989
Well, I definitely can't hold a job. I only ever had one job-ish thing, and that was helping a guy with tree-trimming. He let go of me after 4 days because I couldn't do the work and forgot a lot of things.

>>22914
this will be difficult to believe but I was having substance dependence problems and attacked someone with a knife in the street. My dad paid for a good lawyer who managed to change the label of the case from attempted murder to fighting in public so I didn't have to go to prison. even if I could get my record cleared it wouldn't really change anything. when I google my name the first results are news articles related to my case. one of them is a tv interview with the family of the man I stabbed complaining about the sentence. I can't get jobs or do anything because of this.

a few years ago I signed up for a college class, and when we got our first assignment and had to form groups, people in my group tried to find me in FB and found the articles. I had to leave the class after that

also I have a EU passport so I could move anywhere in Schengen. but there's no country in the EU that lets you to change your name as far as I know

>>22916
Where are you from? Continent, at least.

>>22915
>I have.
What country if you don't mind me asking.
I honestly don't know any 1st world country that will offer a work visa without a degree + job prospect or a shit ton of money or, if you don't have any of that, an employer willing to sponsor your visa (but good luck with getting a job in another country without a degree or visa).

>>22916
>there's no country in the EU that lets you to change your name
Most countries will let their citizens change their name if they have a good reason. Not being able to move on and get employed or educated because of a mistake in the past seems like a valid reason.

The problem is the criminal record.

You really need to look into that, I know that in some European countries your crimes get cleared after you get sentenced or released from jail and a certain amount of time has passed.

Also, how common is your name and are there pictured with the articles that come up. You could just lie to employers/landlords/whatever and say it's just someone who has the same name.

>>22916
I can say with some certainty that no one will bother googling your name if you want a shitty construction job in most European countries. If I was in your position (and wanted to work) I'd work as a labourer for a few months then try become an apprentice carpender or something after you get a good reference from working as a labourer.

I used to be much nicer towards people and making others happy used to make me happy. Now I'm cold, bitter, angry, jealous, and a mess of negative emotions that begs for death.

>>22776
You're like the mom from Carrie.

I don't even lurk tohno-chan as much any more.

>>22718
Like other posters, I tried to be someone I'm not for the sake of trying to go along with being normal to cure my loneliness, but I found it intolerable and unrewarding. I eventually broke down and became desperate, making everything else in my life suffer for it.

I feel less lonely and more able to tolerate the other aspects of my life much better now with my waifu than I could when trying to be social with any 3D person.

>>21950
Don't know if you're still here but
>Come on. What about life then? Following your stance, after growing up people should be thrown out of home because living with parents is too lazy. Only overcoming difficulties shows whether you really want and to live or not. So, yeah.
I wasn't implying anything like that in my post. And it surprised me a little that you thought I was.
You can't undo suicide. Almost all decisions you consider a mistake in retrospect you can try to fix at least somewhat, you can't do the same after you've killed yourself (I think most beliefs agree here).
I was responding to a post about assisted suicide, which is other people helping someone to do exactly that one choice he can't undo. Which is, regardless if they're really trying to help that person, really irresponsible, since they can never know, if that person really wanted to die or not. Only the person themselves know and I'd argue they only know themselves the moment they try do it.
You probably have already tried to kill yourself, so you should know how hard it is. Have you thought about why? What exactly went through your head the moment you tried to do it? Why couldn't you do it? As opposed to a lot of people (who say it's only cowards who do it) I'd argue killing yourself is the most difficult action to go through with and takes a lot of courage exactly because you're ending your existence (as you know it) and it's the only thing you can't go back on. So you have to really think hard about if you really want it or not (unless it's completely on impulse of course but I already said what I think about that, you can't say they really wanted it since they didn't think at all during the action).

I did not say that assisted suicide shouldn't be allowed because it's lazy. And I don't think people should be thrown out of their home. The parents took up a responsibility when they decided on getting a child (or at least not aborting it), of course I'm not saying that that responsibility extends infinitely. Throwing out your child can be justified

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Of course. I just try to reassure myself that I can somehow deal with it and try my hardest to hold onto that feeling, otherwise I end up breaking down and crying those feelings away.

It doesn't bother me as much as the fact that I'm surrounded by a world full of humans, supposedly like me but I can feel no connection to whatsoever. It questions the very essence of your existence.

It's strange, infinity and eternity bothered me when I was a child, I would cry myself to sleep at night thinking about how neither ending my existence nor living forever appealed to me. But right now, the idea of infinity just feels like endless opportunity to me, and I don't really mind either living forever or dying tomorrow. I have my waifu, so I do not feel alone. And besides, I've been talking to myself in my head since I was a kid, I'm very much adjusted to myself being my only company. It's a funny realization to make, but if you talk to yourself, you'll never feel lonely. Maybe I'm insane, but I'm too far gone to realize it or care if I am.

>>22680
I don't yearn for company and I've always talked to myself a lot too, I think it helps.

That's life for ya.

I have that too. I swing between good and bad fairly regularly but I'm not good at letting it out and it stays inside and festers. Then maybe once or twice per year I have a meltdown where depending on the severity I can be completely non-functional for anywhere from a few hours to my longest one lasting a week.

I'd honestly prefer to just be depressed all the time to this. At least then I'd know what to expect instead of wondering if I'm going to feel okay when I next wake up, or if It'll be one of those days where I need a few hours to build up hunger pains to motivate myself to get out of bed.

I thought I was coming out of my depression and I was worried because I've been this way since I was a kid, so finding who I was without it is kind of scary, I found myself wanting to go back to when things were less confusing and I could just be sad. Well they say be careful what you wish for because now it's back and with the added bonus of insomnia. So I guess it is normal

>>22643
I definitely know what that's like. It was weird to not feel sad at all when I'm so used to it and feel that I deserve it.

I'm the same way but I'm fine with it. It's great to keep reaching for higher heights, quite enjoyable. Given you have to enjoy the process of reaching said heights more than getting to the heights themselves or you'll get into trouble.

People like us need to be careful because we're prone to being taken advantage of. If life is game theory we play the cooperate card too much. People notice and we're easy prey to rack up points on.

Altruism is a lie; an elaborate mechanism of human parasitism. All humans are parasites. The defective humans, that is, the ones who aren't find themselves weeded out of the gene pool quite easily. And if they aren't they find themselves attached to a mate that doesn't give a shit about them. You're "a great guy" because you put up with their bullshit, you let them do whatever they want. You get the point. If you don't fight back, you don't compete, you're on the chopping block. Both literally and figuratively.

The only solution for people like us is to intentionally cultivate selfishness and narcissism. Otherwise people just take, and take, and take. Until you're drained of all drive, all love of life. And they lack the soul to even realize what they've done.

>>22581
>I do that with crappy anime. The worse it is the less attention I pay to it.
Why would you watch it if you don't like it?

>as long as you can still hear what they're saying anyway.
You mean you can understand Japanese?

>>22582
Well, my computer is pretty slow so I cannot do other things while anime is on, not that I would if I could.

If you set madVR to max settings then maybe it will take all the resources of your computer, disabling you to do other things and thus forcing you to only watch.

>>22584
>Why would you watch it if you don't like it?
Well like I said the less I like it the less I watch it. If I really don't like it then I just drop it.
As for why at all. It can help pass the time even if you're not looking directly at it.

>You mean you can understand Japanese?
A little. Enough to have a basic understanding of what's going on and follow along a bit.

yeah

There's a lot to be sad about.

Yes.
I've realized that I have mood cycles throughout the day. At some point I'll feel chipper and I'll be quite talkative and productive, but I always mellow out eventually and just sit and mope/shitpost. Sometimes I wake up like that and then get happy, but the transition always seems completely arbitrary either way

Yes. And I have plenty of things that I should be doing too.