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28355 No. 28355 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
It's so weird to think there are people who have circles of friends who they have known for long periods of time, or even gone through life's milestones together. Or even on a less longstanding level, people who are good relationships and who meet up somewhat regularly to do things like eat, drink, and associate with each other.

/so/ might be the wrong place for this, because I don't really feel loneliness that strongly; that part of me froze over a long time ago. My sentiments are more sadness and hate
>> No. 28356 [Edit]
>My sentiments are more sadness and hate
That sounds like loneliness with a different cover of paint.
>> No. 28357 [Edit]
>>28356
I imagine if I felt lonely I would feel a longing for the company of others (I don't). But what I feel is more along the lines of sadness over community or a lack thereof in a more abstract sense

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27380 No. 27380 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
what keeps you alive?

im starting to run out of reasons so i thought you might have some good ones to share
33 posts and 5 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 28305 [Edit]
I'm just waiting my parents die so I can kill myself without any worry.
>> No. 28350 [Edit]
I live for creating. Writing, Drawing, Animating, Coding, I can't do all those things if I am dead. I also promised my waifu that I wouldn't want myself dead or kill myself, so I owe it to her too to keep on living.

My only problem is what happens when I've created everything I want to make. That scares me.
>> No. 28351 [Edit]
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28351
>>28350
If you have a lot of ambitious ideas, I can almost guarantee you that wont happen.
>> No. 28353 [Edit]
>>28351
Which I do. I can easily see myself gong on what I have now until at least 2030. I just know that the life I am living isn't always going to be like this, and that there is no winning solution on what to do after. The bleak uncertainty of the future is terrifying, the present depressing, and I wish I could live permanently in the past and just always go back again after reaching modern day.

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28227 No. 28227 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
I feel empty inside. Like this world has taken everything I have to offer and left me with nothing. I can't enjoy anything or get fun out of anything. Everything seems pointless now, including going on with this life. My best years are behind me and they weren't any good. No one wants me, no one likes me as anything more than a casual acquaintance at best. I have very little to show for my life so far, and very little reason to care about anything anymore. Even if I did have this or that I'm not sure what difference it would make.

The world feels so small, like a tiny rock covered in assholes in the middle of vast nothingness.
What am I supposed to do? Sleep eat shit fuck repeat till I die? I just want to be left alone.
5 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 28245 [Edit]
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28245
>>28244
>most things you do are trying to ward off discontent, or distracting yourself so you don't notice inherent bleakness
I've had similar thoughts many times, but part of me wonders whether I, and most other people here, are biased because our lives are especially uneventful. Maybe there's people out there who actually have interesting lives, and or feel profound joy on a regular basis.
>> No. 28246 [Edit]
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28246
>>28244
>For the latter I'm reminded of a metaphor of a person who keeps sharpening a knife to keep himself occupied
That's me, I like knives
I wish Life would end soon
>> No. 28247 [Edit]
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28247
>>28244
Well put. I should probably stop trying to force myself to have fun, at least in ways that should be but aren't (for me).
>> No. 28249 [Edit]
>>28247
She needs a Momo to enjoy it with~

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27004 No. 27004 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
do your parents force you to do anything?
i'm 26 and still live with my parents, while i know they don't hate me, they do put alot of pressure on me to do normal things; get a 3DPD and focus on collage etc. i understand what they mean but they're so oppressive i almost makes it worse. and i can't do anything against them whatever they say goes. but at the sametime they do love me, it's this weird back and forth and i just feel alot from it.
23 posts and 8 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 28139 [Edit]
my parents treat me like i'm disabled and shut me out if i don't do as they like. if i talk to the both of them they gang up on me, if i try to talk to them individually they stonewall me and then confer behind my back. everything i say is ammunition to them. they're impossible to deal with so i do the minimum to please them until they kick the bucket and i can collect my inheritance. there's nothing else i can do. if not even my own parents are on my side who have i got left?
>> No. 28140 [Edit]
>>28139
What's preventing you from leaving?
>> No. 28150 [Edit]
>>28140
they already kicked me out years ago.
>> No. 28151 [Edit]
It's normal, my mother used to pressure me to have a 3D.
Now, that i'm nearly 30. She stopped doing so, maybe she finally understood i am shpeshal.

The mom unit likes me doe, so i do reciprocate the feeling.

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26312 No. 26312 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]
Last one (>>23024) hit the bump limit.
It was nice having a thread to casually express those somber thoughts.
594 posts and 365 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 28597 [Edit]
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28597
I want to communicate but I can't properly express myself. There are things I want to do, but I was born into some kind of hell and don't seem able to escape it. I lost my entire life so far, and it seems too late to turn it around. I think about it (suicide) because I think I'll never realize any of the things I dream of. I've had suicidal thoughts almost daily since I was ~8. I don't know how to explain how I feel, I'm too weird even for a place like this. I just want to follow a certain path and be closer to an ideal, there are ideals I want very much to realize, things I want to try doing/making/creating, but this life is difficult. I can't translate what I mean into words, I wish I could show the real thing. I've always felt something/believed in something, and always wanted to try directing it towards something nice, but I feel like I never had a chance. I want very much to but I think I won't make it. There are many things I wish I could say but I don't want to be a bother so I'll try to stop.
>> No. 28598 [Edit]
>>28597
Nice art.
>> No. 28599 [Edit]
I think this has hit the bump limit as well. Anyone up for creating a new thread?
>> No. 28600 [Edit]
>>28599
I will.

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27991 No. 27991 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
I don't quite know how to explain it, but at this point, I don't hate being sad. I'm afraid to get better because I don't remember what it's like to be well. I'm so used to this feeling of emptiness that it started to not feel so bad. Like, sometimes I stop and think it's not that bad, but I guess I just got used to it.

I don't know if it's normal or if I'm going crazy, after all, what kind of person likes to be sad?
>> No. 27992 [Edit]
you can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
>> No. 27993 [Edit]
Change is scary, and people can get used to just about anything. Even if what they're used to is pain and suffering. The change could be for the better, but it's an unknown. The unknown is unpredictable. I think we fear the unknown because as bad as things might be, we know things can always be just a little worse. At least with what we know, we know what to expect, we can brace ourselves physically and emotionally for it, but how do we do that when we don't know what's coming?
So yeah, I'd say it's normal. It's the kind of thing that keeps people in abusive relationships and jobs they hate. I think understanding this would be the first step towards making things better. You don't have to live that way, you're allowed to have a better life. Don't tell yourself otherwise.
>> No. 28066 [Edit]
What kind of sad? Just emptiness or an actual feeling of sadness?
What positives do you see in your sadness exactly?
I find myself remembering periods where I experienced the latter with fondness. Probably for the comfort I felt when managing to escape into some fantasy or daydream. It also has a certain romanticism to it, i guess.
>> No. 28077 [Edit]
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28077
no, you're far from being crazy.
the brain gets accustomated to recurring events, just like the Stockholm syndrome where the abducted becomes fond of its prison.

from my own experience, you should not keep on running on sadness, it's a limited fuel and once it runs out, anhedonia will be awaiting.
you need some positivity, after all that's what I believe we're all in search of and the main reason we are interacting.

i hope you can find some solace in this reply.

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25280 No. 25280 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
did you grow up poor
did you have an abusive childhood which led to you being fucked up
19 posts and 6 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 25658 [Edit]
>>25494
Yeah that could be it, or it could be getting beaten by my mom and slammed repeatedly head first into concrete as she screamed about wanting to kill me.
>> No. 25662 [Edit]
>>25481
that's definitely abuse
>> No. 25741 [Edit]
I grew up poor, yeah. But then again everyone around me was poor so I didn't really feel it that strongly at the time. By any metric I'm still poorer than the average person, but seeing the attitudes and behavior of the richer people in my country makes me disgusted, so I'm somewhat glad I didn't become like them. Wealth changes you as a person and very few can resist not becoming arseholes as a result.
>> No. 28045 [Edit]
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28045
>>25652
Fucking hell you're almost a carbon-copy of me, except I only had one sibling that was also abusive.
I think we older brothers get treated like that because we were maybe an unwanted birth. For anything I should be grateful of my parents, is of not making me not care about life and others in general.
It is liberating, but sad, in a way...

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27855 No. 27855 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
>>27853
Same happened to me because my parents refused to buy me HDDs for backup when I was younger.
I'm trying to recover some of the things I remember, but some of them were lost forever...
3 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 28004 [Edit]
>>27877
It might take some getting used to, don't worry too much about it. I've been using imageboards for over a decade and I make the same mistake sometimes too. The design of imageboards can admittedly make it hard to tell at a glance if you're in a thread or not.
It's easy to overlook, but you can keep a look out for "Posting mode: Reply".
Personally I like to keep an eye out for the [reply] link next to the OP post. If you don't see it you're good. Also, next to the reply button in the post box you should see (new thread) or (reply to 27855).
>> No. 28038 [Edit]
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28038
a newfriend on TC?
>> No. 28040 [Edit]
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28040
>>28038
>> No. 28044 [Edit]
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28044
>>28002
Not new, I just make dumb mistakes
>>28004
Yeah, it just bothers me because I saw there's ancient threads here and I shouldn't kill them. The metal one in /mp3/ is from 2011.
>>28038
I'm almost 30. I was a regular from uboa-chan during the 2000s.
I prefer .flow to yume nikki lol

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28008 No. 28008 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Why are people so fragile and aggressive at the internet the last 10+ years?
6 posts and 1 image omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 28023 [Edit]
>>28020
Don't mind >>28018, despite the post not being grammatically correct it's still good content.
>> No. 28024 [Edit]
>>28018
Forgoing proofreading is not indicative of an ESL. One might argue it's poor form, however.
>> No. 28025 [Edit]
>>28024
I'm fairly certain the author is not a native speaker because of the prepositional errors using "at" instead of to/in. There's nothing wrong with that though; so long as the content is substantive and mostly intelligible, there's no reason to be elitist.

Post edited on 7th Feb 2023, 4:24pm
>> No. 28026 [Edit]
>>28025
Yeah, you're right.

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22206 No. 22206 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Do you have a tulpa? If so, what is she like?
29 posts and 6 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 26814 [Edit]
>>22206
I tried to make a tulpa, and for a time I believed I was doing it successfully, but it was just me daydreaming the whole time. It's a shame, the idea fascinates me and I really could use the companionship.
>> No. 27878 [Edit]
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27878
>>22206
Yes, she's a bit nagging but understanding
Also somewhat works as my anxiety meter, since I don't really care about being alive on my own
We try to talk, but she doesn't come up with new things to talk about, so idk if she's really a tulpa or just me playing pretend, I really don't know. I'd appreciate some help on the matter
I can somewhat visualize her and hear her voice on my inner mind, but just barely
Pic related
>> No. 27937 [Edit]
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27937
Can i still make a tulpa, even if i can't "hear" my thoughts? I don't have an inner voice, or anything like that. I don't "hear" what i read either. It's just pure silence.
>> No. 27938 [Edit]
>>27937
Do the apple visualization, shape rotation, bouba/kiki tests to find out.

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27913 No. 27913 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
-When I was younger, I used to worry incessantly about doing something with "passion" and being poor OR having money but hated my career. 18 was a hectic time because I thought I had to pick a career that I was going to be in for 10 years. Instead, what I found out is that there are all these jobs that will pay you better than minimum wage, take a shorter amount of time to train for, and can be done through the internet. Do that instead. If you're worried about being locked in to a 9 to 5, learn a proper skill online and do freelance work. If you're worried about what you're going to do to make money as an "adult", do one of these. Am I the last fucking one to figure that out? Anyway.. I got one, but if you're young, you probably shouldn't bother with a degree. Pick something you think you'd be good at.
-I mentioned it above, but use the internet to work from a laptop. Not only is it more convenient in terms of dealing with people and stress from going outside, but you can potentially move anywhere you want. Go to a country where the cost of living is low, low, low. Download google translate on your phone, then download the relevant languages that you will need so you can translate without an internet connection.
-Being able to move to where you want to go will enable you to get away from people who... don't treat you like you should be treated. That might be open disdain, pity, etc.etc., but try your best to get away from "energy vampires". When I left my small, small life behind, I thought I would be deathly lonely, leaving behind my parents and one or two distant old friends who reached out occasionally. It turns out that I am something like a natural loner.. Not to boast but I have almost never felt lonely at all, approaching 30 years old. Get away from those people
-If you're wondering what to eat to be healthy, do a "paleo" diet as a starting template. It's inexpensive and healthy: just whole foods, meat, veg, potatoes, some fruit. And eat the sample thing every day. This saves mental energy from having to figure out what to eat. Routine is good.
>> No. 27923 [Edit]
I found a way of dealing with my feelings of self-loathing, maybe someone could make use of it.

My issue was with having said or done things that I was told and accepted were wrong, but being unable to figure out what I should've done instead. I couldn't process it and just felt bad all the time.

The key thing is that your emotions exist to promote or inhibit behavior; you feel bad so you won't do the bad thing in the future. But to apply that you need understanding. So first, work out what you do or don't believe is wrong. And then once that's in place, ask yourself:

What did I do that was wrong?
Why precisely is it wrong?
How could I have known that?
Why didn't I see it?

If you can answer every one of these, then you know what to change.
If you cannot change, or if there are any of these you cannot answer, then you couldn't have done any better. It's not your fault. The blame might lie with the other party, or just the circumstance itself. But it's not your fault.

It's still a struggle; I have to remind myself of it a lot. But I'm feeling much better.
Message too long. Click here to view the full text.
>> No. 27924 [Edit]
>>27923
>How could I have know that?
>Why didn't I see it?
These might also be useful for people who struggle with overthinking or regret. I.e. you make some decision that turns out to be less than ideal and then become consumed with anxiety/rumination over having made that decision. Often you're making decisions without access to perfect information, so there's no way you could have done better in the first place.

At least that's the theory, in practice even knowing that it's never really helped assuage me.

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