>>28461
>wanna be podcasts with his friends lol
An amusing April 1st joke would be the announcement of a tc podcast, but it's just an hour of static.

>>28462
tohno needs to do another room tour tbh

>>28463
There's not much to see with my current one, and my last one was a bit meh.
https://twitter.com/Tohno__/status/1699647587127837088

stop posting cp then

>>28383
Are you actually willing to do anything about this situation of yours? Have you tried anything so far? No offense, but it comes off as "...and thats how it is and im gonna have another drink now".

>>28441
Hello fellow watcher of Yae's anime.

>>28442
Hello!

>>28383
I am a schizo too but I work in a stay-home internet job. Maybe you can try that.

>>28163
>the more you are willing to help the more the people you are trying to help will think of you as a weakling.
So many posts like these lately bring me despair. Every other person you are kind to will remember your kindness, it's just that like everywhere negative experiences are harder to forget. That's why it's important to not become drawn into this negativity by spreading it. Being nice makes me feel good, and it's my own responsibility to judge if people deserve it or would use me as a doormat, maybe the weakness you talk about is coming from a lack of confidence others smell and not the helping in itself.
I mean everyone can be an asshole if they really want to, but everyone can also be nice too wich takes more effort. Seeing these being nice is weak posts is only encouraging people to become even greater assholes in my opinion.

>Every other person you are kind to will remember your kindness
Realistically, no they won't. Negative memories are stronger, and people are more likely to remember an asshole than a kind person. Maybe if it's some once-in-a-lifetime event then sure they'll remember it, but the day-to-day average kindness is easily forgotten. But on the flipside such once-in-a-lifetime kindness usually require non-trivial effort on your part anyhow, and are a much stronger gamble.

So that's not to say you should be an asshole, but at the same time there's no point going out of your way to be kind. If you will there's some sort of effort/kindness landscape, and the sweet-spot is somewhere in the middle, where the ideal is to be kind so long as it doesn't require too much effort on your part.

>>28433
>Realistically, no they won't.
Well we can only guess, I at least do remember a few strangers from even 20 years ago who did something selfless for me, more than stuff I did to others that I perceived as being nice actually.

>Negative memories are stronger, and people are more likely to remember an asshole than a kind person.
That was the point I also tried to make, I sure remember more dicks from my past than nice people. The question is why would someone prefer putting others down instead, if they're aware of the fact that those memories will last longer. Because they don't give a hoot about others and it's easiest for them, and that's the last thing I want to take as life advice.
Either way I think you're more talking about a stoic approach in general, which can seem arrogant but kind of neutral and definitely fine.

>So that's not to say you should be an asshole, but at the same time there's no point going out of your way to be kind
I think the problem is people don't realize that they're being dicks, because that is their go to and nobody bothered to teach an asshole, so maybe the nice thing would be to point out their behaviour. You shouldn't bend backwards for someone, but if you don't care about your surroundings and about how you're perceived at all then you at least shouldn't be rewarded for being unkind and selfish.

>>28436
I think what also matters is the mental state a person has. Somebody who has got the short end of the stick for a long time will appreciate it way more if they suddenly get some help, even when it is just a small deed.

> That was the point I also tried to make, I sure remember more dicks from my past than nice people. The question is why would someone prefer putting others down instead, if they're aware of the fact that those memories will last longer.
The same applies here, in my opinion. Every little thing could possibly push somebody over the edge. Besides this who knows when you encounter somebody once more? I had it happen so me and was quite surprised to see what was remembered. I would rather be nice and bland, than mean and memorable.

>>28365
>There's probably other less obvious ways in which you're really smart and capable
I appreciate this. I think I understand that you are objectively correct, it just gets difficult to acknowledge that in the moment. Especially given the fact I already overthink just about every interaction that I have, both positive and negative.

>>28364
Reading this reminded me of my problem. I'm not saying this might be your case, just that I can relate to your experience.
I have auditory processing disorder comorbid with some sensitivity to sound. In spite of my good hearing (ie.: listening to subtle noises when it's quiet, that other people don't pick up) I have trouble interpreting the information received. In addition, loud noises can cause pain and discomfort. My APD is enunciated in noisy environments, where I swear I can't understand a word of what people are saying unless they are right next to me and speaking very clearly. It also affects my academic and professional life, albeit subtly. Things make perfect sense to me and I'm able to quickly grasp new information when reading it. When listening however, it feels like I'm "slow".
A striking example is with math. I used to lose my self halfway when teachers talked through exercises without writing them down, but otherwise could figure out the processes and intuition at a normal pace when shown a written example or hint.
My sensitivity to loud noises isn't particularly impairing, but I do find my self complaining about noise when other people don't (ie.: waves at the beach/coast) and would explain my distaste for certain types of places and events. I guess this would subsequently explain why I've always been withdrawn and grew to enjoy solitude as an adult.

Avoidance. Whether it be interacting with others, or tackling a difficult problem, my natural instinct is to hide or make myself small because of an irrational and obsessive general fear. Worse yet, I have practiced this behavior for well over 20 years - since I was a little kid. This has led to a life of reclusion and isolation. I cannot help but run away.

Trusting people.
I want to believe in people, and to assume they mean well, and maybe they do to eachother but not to me. Maybe I'm seeing what I want to see, but it feels like people fuck me over and treat me like garbage all the time with little to no consideration for my thoughts and feelings. If and when I'm shown even the slightest amount of kindness, I assume there's hidden motive, like a used car salesmen buttering up an idiot.
Really it's probably a self fulfilling prophecy. I assume people will either hate me or make life hard for me, so I act in a way that repels them and makes me unapproachable, but that in itself could easily be the cause of why people treat me the way they do.

>My sentiments are more sadness and hate
That sounds like loneliness with a different cover of paint.

>>28356
I imagine if I felt lonely I would feel a longing for the company of others (I don't). But what I feel is more along the lines of sadness over community or a lack thereof in a more abstract sense

I'm just waiting my parents die so I can kill myself without any worry.

I live for creating. Writing, Drawing, Animating, Coding, I can't do all those things if I am dead. I also promised my waifu that I wouldn't want myself dead or kill myself, so I owe it to her too to keep on living.

My only problem is what happens when I've created everything I want to make. That scares me.

>>28350
If you have a lot of ambitious ideas, I can almost guarantee you that wont happen.

>>28351
Which I do. I can easily see myself gong on what I have now until at least 2030. I just know that the life I am living isn't always going to be like this, and that there is no winning solution on what to do after. The bleak uncertainty of the future is terrifying, the present depressing, and I wish I could live permanently in the past and just always go back again after reaching modern day.

>>28244
>most things you do are trying to ward off discontent, or distracting yourself so you don't notice inherent bleakness
I've had similar thoughts many times, but part of me wonders whether I, and most other people here, are biased because our lives are especially uneventful. Maybe there's people out there who actually have interesting lives, and or feel profound joy on a regular basis.

>>28244
>For the latter I'm reminded of a metaphor of a person who keeps sharpening a knife to keep himself occupied
That's me, I like knives
I wish Life would end soon

>>28244
Well put. I should probably stop trying to force myself to have fun, at least in ways that should be but aren't (for me).

>>28247
She needs a Momo to enjoy it with~

my parents treat me like i'm disabled and shut me out if i don't do as they like. if i talk to the both of them they gang up on me, if i try to talk to them individually they stonewall me and then confer behind my back. everything i say is ammunition to them. they're impossible to deal with so i do the minimum to please them until they kick the bucket and i can collect my inheritance. there's nothing else i can do. if not even my own parents are on my side who have i got left?

>>28139
What's preventing you from leaving?

>>28140
they already kicked me out years ago.

It's normal, my mother used to pressure me to have a 3D.
Now, that i'm nearly 30. She stopped doing so, maybe she finally understood i am shpeshal.

The mom unit likes me doe, so i do reciprocate the feeling.

I want to communicate but I can't properly express myself. There are things I want to do, but I was born into some kind of hell and don't seem able to escape it. I lost my entire life so far, and it seems too late to turn it around. I think about it (suicide) because I think I'll never realize any of the things I dream of. I've had suicidal thoughts almost daily since I was ~8. I don't know how to explain how I feel, I'm too weird even for a place like this. I just want to follow a certain path and be closer to an ideal, there are ideals I want very much to realize, things I want to try doing/making/creating, but this life is difficult. I can't translate what I mean into words, I wish I could show the real thing. I've always felt something/believed in something, and always wanted to try directing it towards something nice, but I feel like I never had a chance. I want very much to but I think I won't make it. There are many things I wish I could say but I don't want to be a bother so I'll try to stop.

>>28597
Nice art.

I think this has hit the bump limit as well. Anyone up for creating a new thread?

>>28599
I will.

you can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness

Change is scary, and people can get used to just about anything. Even if what they're used to is pain and suffering. The change could be for the better, but it's an unknown. The unknown is unpredictable. I think we fear the unknown because as bad as things might be, we know things can always be just a little worse. At least with what we know, we know what to expect, we can brace ourselves physically and emotionally for it, but how do we do that when we don't know what's coming?
So yeah, I'd say it's normal. It's the kind of thing that keeps people in abusive relationships and jobs they hate. I think understanding this would be the first step towards making things better. You don't have to live that way, you're allowed to have a better life. Don't tell yourself otherwise.

What kind of sad? Just emptiness or an actual feeling of sadness?
What positives do you see in your sadness exactly?
I find myself remembering periods where I experienced the latter with fondness. Probably for the comfort I felt when managing to escape into some fantasy or daydream. It also has a certain romanticism to it, i guess.

no, you're far from being crazy.
the brain gets accustomated to recurring events, just like the Stockholm syndrome where the abducted becomes fond of its prison.

from my own experience, you should not keep on running on sadness, it's a limited fuel and once it runs out, anhedonia will be awaiting.
you need some positivity, after all that's what I believe we're all in search of and the main reason we are interacting.

i hope you can find some solace in this reply.

>>25494
Yeah that could be it, or it could be getting beaten by my mom and slammed repeatedly head first into concrete as she screamed about wanting to kill me.

>>25481
that's definitely abuse

I grew up poor, yeah. But then again everyone around me was poor so I didn't really feel it that strongly at the time. By any metric I'm still poorer than the average person, but seeing the attitudes and behavior of the richer people in my country makes me disgusted, so I'm somewhat glad I didn't become like them. Wealth changes you as a person and very few can resist not becoming arseholes as a result.

>>25652
Fucking hell you're almost a carbon-copy of me, except I only had one sibling that was also abusive.
I think we older brothers get treated like that because we were maybe an unwanted birth. For anything I should be grateful of my parents, is of not making me not care about life and others in general.
It is liberating, but sad, in a way...