>Do any of you ever feel like you just don't know what you want out of life? Maybe you feel like something's missing/wrong but you don't know what it is?
I think so. I don't even know, though, man. It feels like I don't want anything. I am living an objectively good life, NEETing off my dad, I'm able to spend all day in my room on the computer, I have plenty of food and water, the living space is not filthy or anything. Hell, I do not even do many chores, just doing things when my dad knocks on my door to ask me too, which I doubt is even half the time those chores are done.
I don't know what to do, nothing is appealing. Mostly I just play solitaire nowadays. Imageboards are dull, I have no hobbies or interests so there is nothing to read there. I used to think I liked video games, but now all I play is Counter-Strike, and not much of it, either. I used to think I liked to read, but since 2014 I have only read a handful of books, and none in the past year or so. I'm able to watch movies and TV shows, but I don't pay attention half the time, mostly I have them on the main monitor and play solitaire on the secondary one, and I don't care to discuss the shows, anyways. I listen to music while playing solitaire most of the time, but mostly the same shit over and over. I am too stupid to form any actual opinions, or have any thoughts about the artfulness of the pieces, or think of any meaning or depth for the movies and music, so it's even more pointless to try and discuss them on imageboards.
All I do nowadays is think about people I used to know, things I used to do. I replay these over and over in my mind. Sometimes I imagine them playing out differently. When I do that normally I'll really flesh it out.
It seems like the present and potential of the future are meaningless to me, instead I masturbate to the past and daydreams of what could have been. I'd say that these daydreams could be what I want out of life, but I don't have any drive to actually pursue any of it. It would not be too difficult to do, I don't think, but my imagination seems to be good enough. Content to waste my time, lost thinking about not wasting my time. Or maybe that is all just beating around the bush to hide fears of things
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