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24086 No. 24086 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
do self-help books actually... help? I'm about to read some and am wondering about your experience with them.
7 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 24096 [Edit]
>>24095
Given the book OP posted he probably DOESN'T want to use pills. That's good advice though.
>> No. 24098 [Edit]
>>24095
The only one I've skimmed is the supposedly legendary "How to make friends" book by Carnegie and all I found was a bunch of sleazy tricks for car salesman such as "use the person's name frequently" – I don't see how that's supposed to help when even holding a conversation is mentally taxing, let alone weaving in these fabrications.

If instead your goal is to get some light philosophy out of it ("how to live you life" kind of advice) then these books might be more suited, although in that case you'd be better off reading some of the great Russian authors like Dostoevsky. Or even some of the very early jordan peterson videos where he actually focused on philosophical frameworks of the bible instead of going off the rails with his newfound fame.
>> No. 24099 [Edit]
>>24098
That book is severely outdated. The problem is most people live in a defined bubble by high school. With the advent of smartphones, it's nearly impossible to break into one of these circles without someone from within shilling for you.

As you go by the mall or local college campus, you will notice that everybody is self-absorbed into their smartphone. Before this invention, this was an easy way to strike up a conversation with someone.

The best way to get friends is through sheer luck. However, you can make some friends in college but you have to be the aggressive and it will probably fail 75% of the time.
>> No. 24115 [Edit]
I've tried several of them and there's a lot of books stuffed with feel good bullshit like 'just be yourself'. Some offer actual good advice and some are a mixed bag. That goes without saying and of course there's the usual 'none of it matters if you don't take action' thing.

I wouldn't discourage anyone from reading them but be prepared to wade through lots of bullshit to find things that are both true and actually applicable to you. A lot of these books seem to be written with middle managers in mind who don't have a clue how the average person actually lives.

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24020 No. 24020 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Who am i? i have no idea. The constant cold pain in my chest turns into a feeling of hopelessness and defeat. It manifests itself into a cage keeping me stuck in the same old ways. A boy who never grew up, and will never change. The feeling is a cry for help. A begging for forgiveness. A feeling that inevitably leads me back to god. A feeling that turns me into an emotionless statue. An overwhelming bearer of bad news. It takes control of my mind and body. I'm a dead man slowly inching his way towards the inevitable destination that warmly welcomes us all. I wake up and feel pain, I exist and feel pain, I go to sleep and feel pain. I become numb for a few moments, and am brought back into the dreaded reality I have created around myself. Whats the answer. How many times now. How many times have I tried to find it. After years and years of thinking. I'm still the same. I won't ever change.
>> No. 24033 [Edit]
>>24020
Find a quiet place and some time. Relax. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath in. Hold it. Let it out. Repeat.
Instead of talking back to the scarred emotions, listen to them. Don't engage with them - if you find yourself doing so, gently step away. Let them be. Let them talk. Hear out everything, until everything has been said. Then - cherish the brief moment of freedom. For once, seek not echoes of your pained mind, but answers. You say you will never change - but what is your obstacle? You say you are lead back to God - can you find strength in Him, whichever faith you are of? What does the pain root from?
Ultimately, even if you feel the most powerless, in the darkest possible place, the one thing you have power over is yourself. It's hard. I know. I'm not here to give you an easy solution. I'm here to try and convince you to try. It's okay if, instead of reaching for the ladder, you slip. Once, twice, maybe more. It's okay. Nobody's here to judge you. Rest, if you need, and try again. Eventually, you'll find a way. Something. Something that gives you that meaning you seek. A path to change, even if slightly. I believe in you, anon. You can make it. You can get out of the darkness - and into the light.

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23806 No. 23806 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
How often do you cry? Do you think it's good to let your emotions out, or should you try to maintain your composure?

I have heard some people say you shouldn't bottle up your emotions, so it's good to let emotions out. But I've heard other people say that the more often you express your extreme emotions, such as anger (yelling) or sadness (crying), the worse it gets. And that refraining from letting these outbursts happen actually helps with your emotional well-being.

What do you think?
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>> No. 23953 [Edit]
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23953
I cry in my sleep now only, I also cry when watching anime. I don’t have strong emotions for real life anymore. But the way anime displays friendships, love, life it gets to me. It strange people like to live in misery and distrust, even with he closest relatives. I don’t understand
>> No. 24028 [Edit]
Very rarely these days. I used to cry a lot but it feels like I can't anymore, and I hate it.
I wish I could go back to when there was still a little hope. When I could feel sad and cry quietly but still believe I had a chance.
I hate that I'm getting used to suffering.
It's not right, nothing is right and I don't want to be OK with any of it.
This disgusting fucking world is winning, like it always does, and I can't do anything to change it.

>>23953
Last year I cried while sleeping for the first time. I was shocked, woke up with wet face and swollen eyes, and that bitter sensation in my chest that I haven't felt in years. I didn't even know it was possible.
Fictional depictions of the things you mentioned also get to me very hard. For this reason I avoided anime and stuff for years now.

I also had a long period of voluntary isolation from imageboards, until now at least a year of complete withdrawal.
I feel horrible and I can't do it anymore. I don't know if I can, or should end this seclusion.
I feel like writing walls and walls of text, to try to put into words all the thoughts and feelings that are just swarming inside of my skull... but I remember I once promised someone here that I'd go away and never pollute the place with my shit again. I'm sorry.

I don't even know where I'm going with this. I came back because I lost to a desperate desire to fish for sympathy and attention. I also realize that what I'm doing is cancerous.
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>> No. 24029 [Edit]
>>24028
> I remember I once promised someone here that I'd go away and never pollute the place with my shit again
What prompted this? The beauty of imageboards is that you can consider everyone an acquaintance but there is no obligation or burden your part. It is like that Japanese saying "ichigo ichie," the interactions are momentary and fleeting but that is what makes it cherished.

>For this reason I avoided anime and stuff for years now.
Slice of Life in particular is touching in the way it can evoke and materialize those suppressed emotions. To me at least it's some sort of cathartic relief. Is the reason you avoid the medium to attempt to avoid bringing up those feelings, and if so to what end? The feelings evoked do end up tinging subsequent days with a painful sort of emptiness, but the memory left is also sort of bittersweet.
>> No. 24030 [Edit]
>>24029
>What prompted this?
A combination of things. At that point I was already going through periods of inactivity before quitting completely.
Mostly because of anxiety and sadness caused by feeling like I don't belong anywhere, being unable to relate to anything and anyone... and maybe most importantly being unable to communicate, to clearly express my thoughts and feelings, and through this to try to find some sense of connection and understanding.
I thought I too often gave in to this temptation of writing convoluted personal blog shit (like I'm doing right now, god damn it) knowing that many would find it annoying.
That guilt is bad enough on its own but I also stress out for hours while struggling with English and trying to compose something comprehensible, often to delete all of it before posting anyway.

So, then there was a conversation about what kinds of posts and posters are harmful to the site, and while reading it I concluded that I probably was one of the bad users.
Of course my influence was practically insignificant, but I thought it was still detrimental no matter how small.
I figured the single best thing I could do for the communities I valued so much would be to just go away.
I hoped this decision would be a right thing to do, that it was for the good of the endangered world of small imageboards not dominated by normals, and that because of this I'd get some solace and a little strength to help me endure my seclusion.
So I said my goodbyes and left.

In the end I swapped one pain for another, it really feels like I excised a chunk of myself and found nothing that could take its place.

Message too long. Click here to view the full text.

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24011 No. 24011 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew

Post edited on 10th Jan 2019, 5:15pm

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23512 No. 23512 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
You know what sucks about being a loner? Not having people to go to restaurants with. There is so much good food I would eat if only I had people to eat with. Going to a restaurant alone is weird. I could never do that.

I mean, every now and then I get food with people. But not anywhere near as much as I’d like.

Can you think of anything else you need a group for?
12 posts and 1 image omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 23983 [Edit]
There are a lot of people that go to restaurants alone. Also many people go to the movies alone. You just believe it's a social activity because of popular culture and what normalfags think about those activities.
>> No. 23984 [Edit]
>>23983
no, some restaurants actually refuse to serve singles because they have limited seating and one person by themselves would still take up a booth, meaning fewer customers
>> No. 23986 [Edit]
>>23984
That's fairly rare though, since many places have a bar they can sit single or excess customers at.
>> No. 23987 [Edit]
>>23986
yeah I've never come across that myself. It makes sense on paper, but I can't picture a business doing well if they're turning away paying customers. That sort of treatment is going to alienate and piss off customers who might not want to return.

Not only do they have bars, but if the place is really crowded they might just have single people share. This was my experience when I went to have breakfast at a -packed- Denny's in LA. They put me on the waiting list and when my name came up they asked me if I was okay with sharing a table. Had I said no 'maybe' they would have turned me away, but if that were to happen it would have been on me.

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23967 No. 23967 Locked hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
I have a lack of a social life in general, so I'm going to do my best to make my friends even if the process of it will be slow. Can you guys post your social media like Skype, discord, etc? I just want people to talk to and to get used to talking to others
>> No. 23968 [Edit]
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23968
Try joining our IRC. It seems kindof normal to ask for skype or discord...

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23787 No. 23787 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
I told my therapist about my life situation and then he started to cry. I remained calm, but it was really awkward and embarrassing. Like, even someone who deals with people who have problems for a living was shocked at how shitty my life is.

I wonder if it was genuine or if he faked it because therapists think crying shows empathy and an emotional connection with their patient. I think it's just that he is inexperienced or something. But it's weird and I wish he didn't do it.
3 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 23791 [Edit]
>>23790
I think professionalism is a farce. Most people are just winging it.
>> No. 23792 [Edit]
>>23791
not only are they winging it, but if you point out that they don't know what they're doing they will become outraged and indignant.
if someone who is legitimately trained and competent starts working near them the faker will sabotage the skilled person because they don't want to be compared unfavorably.
and don't forget that people who are living a lie successfully are demonstrably good at deviousness, they will outwit you most of the time because they're practiced and you won't see the lie.
next time you get on an airplane think about how the captain got his job because daddy worked for the airline rather than by demonstrated ability to handle an aircraft safely.
>> No. 23821 [Edit]
>>23792
I mean, at least that would be a quick and fairly painless death.
Also,
>winging it
lol
>> No. 23924 [Edit]
>>23787
The pro wrestler Ric Flair tells the story that he started seeing a therapist at the height I'd his popularity over confidence issues, and the therapist ebsed up crying. Maybe after hearing about his alcohol addiction.

Ric Flair was famous for his matches against the Von Erich family.

The Von Erich family is a professional wrestling family. Its actual surname is "Adkisson", but every member who has been in the wrestling business has used the ring name "Von Erich", after the family patriarch, Jack (Fritz Von Erich) Adkisson.

When Fritz died of cancer in his Denton County home at 68, five of his six sons had preceded him. His firstborn, Jack Jr., was shocked and drowned in a puddle at the age of six in 1959, outside his Niagara Falls home. In 1984, David Von Erich died in a Tokyo hotel from enteritis. Mike, Chris, and Kerry died of suicide; Mike took an overdose of Placidyl near Lewisville Lake in 1987, Chris shot himself in the head with a 9mm handgun in 1991 and Kerry shot himself in the chest in the family yard in 1993. Kevin Von Erich is the last surviving son.

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23678 No. 23678 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
which goat are you?
11 posts and 1 image omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 23720 [Edit]
>>23716
Which ones are bullshit?
>> No. 23721 [Edit]
It's funny that one of the red goats "Focuses on differences" when that is exactly what the image is highlighting.
>> No. 23822 [Edit]
>>23678
None of those seems to be labeled "hates everyone but his cat and doesn't know why everyone doesn't just blow their brains out."
>> No. 23876 [Edit]
the one who jumped off the cliff

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23774 No. 23774 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
I took one of the most stupid decisions in my life.

I decided to go on an Erasmus+ in Georgia and, 7 days in, I want to home. But I can't. I could, I could just go to the airport. But I couldn't handle my parents, even if they said nothing. I've failed enough times already that I feel like a failure.

And the tragedy is that there is not even nothing wrong. From an objective point of view, everything has been good. There were a couple of issues, like losing my sim card (I had made another one to call/use internet, and put the old one in the wallet), but nothing major. People are nice, what I am doing is good. The only objective form of stress is because of the documents for the erasmus, but they don't really matter because at worst it would simply be a personal traineeship.

And yet I feel terrible. I am thinking about killing myself. I don't know what's wrong with me. Is it because I depend on other people so I feel like I am imposing on them but at the same we are not close enough for me to feel ok with that? maybe it's because I left my house, I have lived there for 10 years now on my own and now I have been to 2 hotels in 7 days and the reptile brain just wants to go back to his nest. Another possibility is that I have yet to find a new routine. People are nice here, but there seems to be a lack of organization, maybe we leave the 27th, maybe the 29th, maybe the 26th.
I sleep so much. I go to be at 10-11 pm to wake at 7.30, I am used to 6 hours of sleep, not this. It reminds me of when I went to my grandparents house because he was a physic professor and he wanted to help me with my studies, I was sleeping 10 hours per night.
I am afraid of leaving the hotel. Or, more than afraid, it's laziness. I haven't ate dinner 3 or 4 times already because I was simply too lazy and scared to leave the hotel room.

Maybe, when I will go to the place I am supposed to work in for the next 3 months I will be better. Get a place for a longer time, knowing what to do everyday, the days go by and I will see my return getting closer. It's just three months after all. Once I start working for real, I won't have time to think. I think that's the issue. I am not working enough. I have too much time to think. I could walk through the town, but I
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1 post omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 23778 [Edit]
This makes no sense. What the hell is a erasmus?
>> No. 23779 [Edit]
I thinks it's uncertainty, fear of the unknown.
You'll come around, don't worry.

>>23778
Student and work exchange program.
>> No. 23780 [Edit]
once you go through something like that you'll feel compelled to make use of what you learned because of all the time and effort you invested in completing the studies and training. inevitably "making use of what you learned" will consist of slaving away making profits for some narcissist with an inherited business or someone else who got to their position of authority through nepotism or some other sleazy dishonest means. a lot of that hard work, valuable skills and effort they try to make you learn in school isn't intended for your own benefit, so don't feel like you're making a mistake if you don't follow the normie drone path to what they define as a successful life. their definition is self serving, nobody wants to admit that they've been tricked into slavery, makes them feel foolish and lose face. if it turns out that you want to be a hermit and live in a cave and make cave drawnings that nobody else will ever look at and you go ahead and do that and enjoy it then you've had a successful life. if you were born 20,000 years ago as a semicivilized halfmonkey and never left the valley you were born in an just sat in a tree and at fresh fruit and masturbated all day until you were eaten by a lion and no anthologist ever dug up your skeleton then you would have had a successful life. if you suffer miserably trying to make other people happy and satisfy their desires and expectations they will just continue to take advantage of you and you will be left with regrets and feel like a chump. furthermore the worst of the other people will seek you out for manipulation with leech-like coldness and instinct.

kakusu because /so/ is gay and i'm a retard
>> No. 23782 [Edit]
>>23779
>>23777
I am feeling better now, maybe I just needed to let it go out.

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23218 No. 23218 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Post and discuss medical issues here. It helps to talk about them.

My lower left lung has been hurting, it feels like it's been stabbed. And I just coughed and tasted blood. Didn't see any blood when I went to the mirror and made myself cough again, just tasted it.
I'm scared. I'm poor. The doctors are going to let me die if it's cancer, I can't afford it. I did used to smoke but it was only for a year or two... I've been having trouble breathing but it might just be allergies. I will try to be optimistic.

I also went two years without brushing my teeth and my gums are so full of bacteria it's actually making me sick now. I'm sick constantly because of my own mouth, swallowing bacteria is irritating my throat and giving me a fever, and will be till I pay up $7,000 to unfuck my mouth. No root canals yet, and only two teeth have to be pulled, so that's a positive I guess. I got good teeth genetics from my folks. The dentist said average people would have had lots of teeth fall out by now.

Best advice I can give anyone is take Vitamin D supplements if you aren't in the sunlight at least 30 minutes a day. It helped me a lot.
43 posts and 3 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 23677 [Edit]
>>23673
I work out in the morning, not the evening. I feel more pumped up after working out, not tired.
>> No. 23710 [Edit]
Does alcoholism count as a medical issue? I have been getting drunk pretty much every night for the past couple weeks. Drunk right now even.
>> No. 23711 [Edit]
>>23710
Yeah, sure. I think you can actually get a diagnosis for alcoholism to the point where it can stop you from working... and even if you couldn't, if obesity is a medical issue, then I don't why alcoholism shouldn't be.
>> No. 23730 [Edit]
Lately my social anxiety and insomnia have been so bad that I get shaky when I go out in public. I wasn't like this even 1-2 weeks ago. It has gotten so much worse in such a short amount of time. I'm not normally like this. Scary how fast I'm deteriorating.

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23714 No. 23714 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Watch out for this type of person. The whiner, malcontent, sickly type, etc. Almost all of them are textbook narcissists, constantly on the make looking to guilt trip others into doing shit for them. There is no winning with these people, no "one good turn deserves another" or anything like that. They will always be on the receiving end of favors and they never give up, you can never relax around them without suffering the consequences because of their massive and unreasonable sense of entitlement.
Heed this warning, this kind of person is easy to sniff out once you're aware of what to look out for and if you aren't on the lookout they'll get you like some kind of predatory leech because their persistence.
>> No. 23715 [Edit]
Lord knows I've met a few in my time.
>> No. 23718 [Edit]
>>23714
Yeah, quite manipulative people. Have encountered a few even here.

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