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25962 No. 25962 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit] [Last 50 posts]
At what point in your life did you realize you don't belong? Did some event make this clear to you or did you simply think it over and walk away from everyone? How did you feel when it happened? How did you feel later or now?
47 posts and 9 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 26217 [Edit]
>>25966
Ok Mr. Starseed
>> No. 26223 [Edit]
>>26062
I don't think there's anything wrong with just being lonely, we're on the ronery board after all, posters also shouldn't be talking or humble-bragging about being chased by girls. Not because I'm jealous, but because it does subtly invite exactly the kind of stupid jealously shit and normalfag shitflinging as you can see in this chain of posts. It's also just a good thing to avoid straight up blogging on imageboards as much as possible, in my opinion. I agree with you that posting about jealously for 3dpd doesn't belong but neither does posting about it in the first place. No good comes from the wizchan purity spiral, because both results end up either with actual toxic normalfags, who hate 2D and see it as a "cope" for losers, or such exclusive wizards that they think 2D is too attached to females, desiring a female, etc. and want it banned from their site on the basis that it's cope for failed normalfag losers. I think you can see where I'm going with this and why this might be a problem for a website populated by those with waifus.
>> No. 26229 [Edit]
>>26223
That wizchan purity spiral sounds like an extension of society's Freudian obsession with people's intentions. If they have the wrong reasons for liking something, that's enough to ostracize them. People can't just enjoy things. I suspect that if those people tried to enjoy 2d, they would be unable to because they would be keep thinking about how much of a loser they are to be watching it instead of doing normal things or whatever. I don't see what's bad about "coping" either. That's how people deal with adversity, they cope. Since when has that been a bad thing? Is wallowing in misery and self-denial supposed to be more respectable? Upside down world.
>> No. 26230 [Edit]
>>26229
>I don't see what's bad about "coping" either.

Because you're supposed to be and look like a perfect being without flaws, a handsome, intelligent, turbochad that is so fucking great he doesn't even need females. If you go further most of internet talking is basically an exercise on narcicism and nothing more.
Actually, wizchan and all of it's mindset was nothing more than a group of early 20's and younger "normals" predating and making fun of a few actually fucked up individuals that got even more fucked up as a result.

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26067 No. 26067 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Have you found recently or in the past any small matrix-hacks that make your life better in any way? Something that makes it less tiresome, cheaper, helps to sleep, helps to deal with people or whatever.
2 posts and 1 image omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 26073 [Edit]
>>26072
I gave it some thought and I don't think the coin method could work for me at all. Thinking about some of the important decisions I've taken in last years, I never really wanted to take them because I'm insecure and felt fear, so by all means I would have preffered the coin to give me the most passive outcome. But all those decisions were absolutely correct and have improved, or even saved, my life.
It's like needing surgery and you have to decide to take it or not, if you're a coward fuck you will want to avoid the situation at all costs, even if it ends killing you, you will lie to yourself if necessary. So what do you "want" is not necessarily what do you "need".
>> No. 26076 [Edit]
>>26073
That's part of the coin method I didn't mention. You'll start whining about best 2/3, and then just stop because you know the easy route is a terrible decision. So you chin up and do what you actually need. Usually. It's a way I've found to cut down on my indecisiveness.
>> No. 26083 [Edit]
>>26073
>>26076
Same here. I usually already know what I want to do and it is often not what I should do. It's hedonism vs "go and get shit done".

As for being a character and accepting that I'm bad: It's not like I have a problem with talking or that situations intimidate me. Simply, the more I interact with the normie world the more emotionally drained and disturbed I become.
Might be my fault.
>> No. 26204 [Edit]
In windows, you can use the task scheduler to make your computer do certain things at a specific time. I made a bunch of tasks that put my computer to sleep in ten minute intervals. While I could just get it out of sleep mode every single time, it's gotten me to go to sleep earlier. You could also schedule your computer to shut down like that.

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26084 No. 26084 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit] [Last 50 posts]
Do you guys get angry or depressed when thinking about sex? I normally do, especially when continuously exposed to pornographic material of any sort or sometimes when going out. The inexistent propects of sexual life for my are quite saddening. Does anyone else feel the same?
60 posts and 8 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 26152 [Edit]
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26152
>>26095
True that, though I wouldn't put it so aggressively.

It bothers me how this stuff consooms people's lives, makes them depressed and jeopardizes their judgement and decision-making capabilities.
I know way too many cases of people in shitty relationships and life situations, blue pilled by coitus.

I'm currently in a 2D relationship, but even before that I had sworn celibacy for personal development reasons, influenced by the aforementioned.
Now that I think about it, it was probably all of this combined that made me receptive to 2D love.

Either way, don't feel like I'm missing anything at all. In fact, quite the opposite.

Post edited on 14th Nov 2020, 6:36pm
>> No. 26153 [Edit]
>>26096
>consooms
>blue pilled
And so thus this island too was reduced to a vestige as it began to sink under the weight of overseas lexicon.
>>26095
Maybe it should be moved to /tat/? It doesn't seem to have produced much fruitful discussion and to me seems like a blight on the other threads.
>> No. 26154 [Edit]
>>26097
I don't know why people insist on repeating the same stupid lingo of the week everywhere. I wouldn't be able to write that without being embarrassed.

Post edited on 14th Nov 2020, 7:50pm
>> No. 26155 [Edit]
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26155
>>26097
I would've locked it, but your suggestion might be better.

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23218 No. 23218 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Post and discuss medical issues here. It helps to talk about them.

My lower left lung has been hurting, it feels like it's been stabbed. And I just coughed and tasted blood. Didn't see any blood when I went to the mirror and made myself cough again, just tasted it.
I'm scared. I'm poor. The doctors are going to let me die if it's cancer, I can't afford it. I did used to smoke but it was only for a year or two... I've been having trouble breathing but it might just be allergies. I will try to be optimistic.

I also went two years without brushing my teeth and my gums are so full of bacteria it's actually making me sick now. I'm sick constantly because of my own mouth, swallowing bacteria is irritating my throat and giving me a fever, and will be till I pay up $7,000 to unfuck my mouth. No root canals yet, and only two teeth have to be pulled, so that's a positive I guess. I got good teeth genetics from my folks. The dentist said average people would have had lots of teeth fall out by now.

Best advice I can give anyone is take Vitamin D supplements if you aren't in the sunlight at least 30 minutes a day. It helped me a lot.
46 posts and 3 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 23730 [Edit]
Lately my social anxiety and insomnia have been so bad that I get shaky when I go out in public. I wasn't like this even 1-2 weeks ago. It has gotten so much worse in such a short amount of time. I'm not normally like this. Scary how fast I'm deteriorating.
>> No. 26069 [Edit]
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26069
>>23656
>I recommend broccoli
I don't know why everyone has such a hard on for broccoli and immediately recommends it to everybody. For somebody getting into vegetables, it seems like an especially bad choice. There's so many more palatable vegetables out there. All of the leafy greens like spinach, chard, lettuce, cabbage, radicchio and collard greens exist. There's also radishes, turnips and zucchini. Pickled bamboo shoots and more exotic stuff like that is also available. Broccoli makes people gaseous and doesn't taste good unless it's smothered in some sugary sauce.
>> No. 26070 [Edit]
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26070
>>26069
Spinach needs to be prepared right for it to taste good, and lettuce is basically flavorless water-flavored fodder. Cabbage is usually a good choice though, and tomatoes (bought from local farms, not the mass-market stuff) can be delicious when lightly grilled.
>> No. 26071 [Edit]
>>26070
>lettuce is basically flavorless water-flavored fodder
Which is still better than broccoli. I enjoy lettuce and raw spinach in salads and sandwiches. I like cauliflower though.

Post edited on 10th Nov 2020, 1:48pm

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23136 No. 23136 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Do you have any traumatic moments in your life you might want to share and talk about? It could be something deep in the past or a recent event. We're all friends here, feel free to let it out.
20 posts and 5 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 26034 [Edit]
>>26028
I don't remember, I can't find it. I only remember that the most important line of the song's refrain was "Help me" (not in English).
>> No. 26041 [Edit]
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26041
>>25955
I finally had a second attempt at meditating today. Maybe I just didn't try hard enough but I didn't concentrate as much as last time. Intrusive thoughts are still there but distractions prove helpful. It's easiest to keep them out so long as I avoid things that remind me of said thoughts. There are a lot that are loosely related to those thoughts that I end up having to avoid a lot of things but it's not too hard to do so, I think.
I'll probably post about my updates with this in the daily report thread on /ot/ so that I won't be making off topic posts here.
>> No. 26055 [Edit]
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26055
>>26051
To be honest, I only asked as an attempt to bait you into posting something ban worthy. I can't relate to your specific insecurities. I'm telling you this because I dislike the things you wrote.
>> No. 26056 [Edit]
>>26055
Just plain nasty.

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25919 No. 25919 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Is there any comforting fantasies or thoughts you have or entertain regularly? I'm sure a life with your waifu is one of them but what about others?
I like to think about being a cute loli and having a cute and caring older sister to grow up and fall in love with. We would climb trees, shoot water guns at each other, play in a pool, read stories before bed, make desserts, cuddle at night and spend practically all of our time together. It helps me fall asleep and makes me feel better when I'm sad.
13 posts and 2 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 25935 [Edit]
There's a bunch.

Going through childhood again, except my parents are still together, my dad actually gets to be a part of my life without the army sending him all over the world, and my mom never makes friends with all the people who made my childhood hell. Those three changes alone would have made a hell of a difference.

Having a group of friends in highschool, kind of like what >>25923 except less outdoors: playing video games together, shooting the breeze during lunch, bouncing around ideas for stories and games and such, basically just being part of that group of weird kids that I always envied back then because they were happy together.

Being a part of the 00s internet in my teens, which was something I couldn't fully do because of the awful computer I had, plus a lack of interest in most anime/games/etc that I saw people talking about. The most I really did in those days was browse imageboards.

Gaining invisibility+teleportation powers and pretty much becoming a trickster god. Spy on people, play pranks, do something terrible and see who gets the blame for it, toy with the minds of investigators, etc.
>> No. 25936 [Edit]
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25936
I have formed an elaborate fantasy universe over many years. The most comforting scene that I return to is a dark, snowy evergreen forest in the mountains of some astral plane of existence. In a valley between a number of enormous mountains, there is a picturesque gothic village. There, thousands of undead relax in quiet harmony after living tumultuous or otherwise unpleasant lives. Everything they could ever need or want is conjured up by magic, and animated snowmen act as civil servants and butlers, free of charge. The undead are led by an admirable king that inspires everyone to do their best, but the king seldom actually does anything because his undead subjects are so well-behaved and the snowmen are such great civil servants. Everyone just wants to relax and forget the miserable lives they left behind.

Naturally, the snowmen can fly: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbhvXKLmJJs

I like to listen to baroque or classical music and imagine the king wandering through his domain (down a street, immaculately maintained by the snowmen; through the woods, populated by magic rabbits and deer; atop a mountain; above the clouds that always snow; anywhere).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NlprozGcs80
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TyCAc4B0YO0

>>25920
This too on occasion. Within the framework of my whole fantasy setting, I imagine the king's ghost floating around the material world, invisibly watching stuff happen.
>> No. 26036 [Edit]
I fucking imagine myself as a music guy making music videos because i'm a big late 20's baby with fucking up prospects and i hate it here
however i do enjoy it because even though it is hopeless because i have no will or depression and am getting older, it's one of the few things i can be a bit creative with
why did life have to end up like this? just kidding, it's because i was born in unfortunate circumstances and i remain human garbage marred by experience. i'd take nothingness in a heartbeat

sometimes i imagine being with women or having friends but i shut that out real quick. it hurts too much or it will eventually
>> No. 26042 [Edit]
Entering the 2D realm. Meeting the many characters and getting to live those stories, shifting from one to another, abandoning this reality forever.

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25770 No. 25770 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
What do you think would happen if you had a kid? The scenario doesn't matter, imagine you miraculously had a kid, what now? What kind of parent do you think you'd be? How do you think they would turn out?

On one hand the idea of having that much influence over another person has some appeal, on the other hand there's no guarantee they'll turn out the way you want. If they end up being shitty, it could be absolutely painful. While I wouldn't want them to be a normalfag, if they aren't they'd probably have a miserable life. It's a lose lose situation. I don't think I would be good at it.

Post edited on 27th Jul 2020, 8:40am
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>> No. 25831 [Edit]
>>25829
I think one of my biggest disappointments in life has been to discover people doesn't really give a shit about anything except the usual topics. What for a minority are passions for the majority will always be nothing more than pastimes.
And giving a shit about something isn't particularly well seen, like my father always told me how I was "obsessed" everytime I got into a particular interest, and that was really bad.
And I understand their point, it's probably necessary for the species to be like that and stick into social and physical relations over all other things, but I will not be the fucker that gets bored and depressed when he gets old, retires or suddenly gets some considerable free time. What it's good for the species isn't necessarily good for the individual.
>> No. 25832 [Edit]
>>25770
I'm not a violent or sexually perverted person, so my kids would at the very least not be physically abused.
I actually think about child rearing a lot, and I think I could do a good job as a dad in terms of getting them well-educated (e.g. teaching them at least 3 languages from the time they're babies, getting them into computer programming, math and electronics at a young age, teaching them how to think critically and do their own research on topics like politics) and healthy (I know a lot about nutrition because when I became an adult I had to get rid of the morbid obesity that my mother's care had left me with, and I would see to it that they spend a lot of time doing sports and training their bodies). I wouldn't let them watch much TV and instead teach them more beneficial ways of entertaining themselves.

In many ways, I'd be a much better father than the one I had.
Thing is, they will end up severely emotionally neglected unless they have a mother who can compensate for my coldness, and I cannot imagine that I'd be able to put up with a woman's shit for years and years without eventually killing myself.
>> No. 26020 [Edit]
My dad is a lot more normal than me in a lot of ways, but I think it's a good vision at what happens when someone who isn't very normal has kids. For the record, I don't hate him for it and I have to thank him for a lot of my perspectives on reality. He had few if any friends growing up, I believe he has some form of autism/aspergers. He impressed a lot of his hobbies onto me, that's not really anything that went wrong though. I like his hobbies a lot, he was into lots of good stuff like building scale models, learning about history, stuff I really do like. But there was a lot of physical violence when he got angry, I had welts on my back quite often and his mental illnesses definitely affected me worse genetically. I don't mind being an outcast, or a loser or whatever normalfags would call me, but I wouldn't make me if I could help it. I don't think I should have kids sex or no, because if his mental illnesses were enhanced in me, who knows what my kids would be like. My mom is partially to blame genetically as well, having a grandmother with actual schizophrenia and a history of spending long periods of time, months or years, at mental hospitals. It's just a terrible combination. Theres so much to say but I'm tired at the moment and the genetic problems stand out the most.
>> No. 26024 [Edit]
Having a child could either be like a cutesy SoL manga and give our lives meaning or a very tragic situation. It depends on how they turn out and if they resent you for being a loser or something.

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23512 No. 23512 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit] [Last 50 posts]
You know what sucks about being a loner? Not having people to go to restaurants with. There is so much good food I would eat if only I had people to eat with. Going to a restaurant alone is weird. I could never do that.

I mean, every now and then I get food with people. But not anywhere near as much as I’d like.

Can you think of anything else you need a group for?
51 posts and 13 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 25878 [Edit]
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25878
>>25877
Some don't deserve nice things.
>> No. 25894 [Edit]
Nicotine actually, I feel like that’s something a lot of people here wouldn’t have. I took it up to get myself to stop drinking, and that and some other stuff did the job but then I developed a really bad nicotine addiction. I’ve been weening myself off slowly over the past month or so though and it’s been going pretty well, hopefully I’ll be able to stop for good soon
>> No. 25895 [Edit]
>>25894
you can't do nicotine without other people?
>> No. 25940 [Edit]
Op, I do a lot of things alone because I'm already used to be alone. I go to restaurants alone in a regular basis, I don't see it as weird because I don't care about society or what is perceived as weird because I simply just want eat tasty food and I don't need people to eat food or anything that I just need my body and money to do.

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25891 No. 25891 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
How would you describe your time spent in school? Did you enjoy it?

I skipped class a lot, and even when I was there I wasn't really 'there'. All I cared about was going home and playing videogames. Being at school felt pointless, and not just because graduating became less and less likely as time went on. I didn't want to think about my future and didn't care. It was like a punishment for some unknown crime I didn't remember committing. I didn't care about making friends or dating, all that stuff felt like it was for the normal kids. I couldn't conform and didn't want to. My teachers all just gave up on me, most of them pretended I wasn't even there, with the exception of one old hag I had in my last year who would send me out to detention the moment I walked in the door. Needless to say, I never went to any proms/dances or other school events. I've never been invited to a class reunion and wouldn't go even if I was. I even made sure to skip school on photo days, so that I wouldn't show up in the year books. The idea of spending tends of thousands of dollars to do it again for another 4+ years was laughable.
10 posts and 2 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 25914 [Edit]
>>25913
If that's the case, why aren't all schools like this? I highly doubt inner city schools are better. My school was similar to yours, in fact probably smaller, but while I was made fun of at times, nobody threatened to kill me or consistency harassed me or assaulted me. I didn't pay much attention to everybody else, but I don't remember seeing that kind of thing either. Maybe it's the time period.
>> No. 25915 [Edit]
>>25914
The private school where all the overtly evil stuff happened could have been an outlier. Things definitely weren't that violent when I transferred to public; junior high onward, my classmates' modus operandi was typically lying to and manipulating teachers or following me around harassing me, often about the lies they started about me. It is hard to say why exactly it happened, though.
>> No. 25932 [Edit]
>>25913
You don't have to be rich to go to a private school, many poor people send them there as a status thing. My mother(a warehouse worker) works with people that send their children there, there was also somebody in my area that sent their children there at the expense of everything else, the child was hospitalised for malnutrition in the end.

Maybe that is the cause of it, sending poor children that can barely even afford to eat to a school for upper middle class kids would breed quite a bit of animosity.
>> No. 25933 [Edit]
I always had trouble making friends, but for most of elementary school I wasn't too sad or lonely about it. I didn't particularly enjoy any subjects, most stuff was easy enough and I'd daydream a lot and draw here and there.

Middle school was when I started getting bullied, but lucky it ended after a couple of months when I got to sit elsewhere. I still mostly kept to myself, but I finally made one of my closer friends and we would write and draw stories together. After school I didn't join many clubs or groups, just heading straight to the library and reading books. Daydreaming a lot turned to relying on creative writing to really deal with how dull life got, even though I always knew it'd be hard to make any money off it. In 8th grade I had some good times playing Magic the Gathering.

9th to 10th grade was the worst and I wish I could just redo it. I'd want to say most of it was just depression and being immature and socially awkward. And then 11th to 12th grade things looked up a bit, I enjoyed a couple of my classes (useless philosophy and psychology) and made friends mostly over video games we played outside of it. Still, by that time I was frustrated enough with real-life that I didn't really try with 3D girls, but I don't think doing so at that age would be any better than playing a lot of games. I ended up having to retake some classes here and there but it ended up working out, and there was less overall time spent with school if you took required classes the first two years.

I spent most of college on my hobbies and I had some high streaks but also couldn't find the same level of friendship back in high school, and didn't enjoy video games as much anyways. There was an SSBM group I tried to hang out with but I didn't have the time or effort to grind skill as much as they did, I suppose I did go to martial arts club though. Classes could be pretty bad and I had been too lazy to change my major (probably would mean less time on hobbies if so) in the sense that there was usually a good deal of SJW brainwashing. Being stuck in apartment meant dealing with/facing certain people regularly, a brainwashed SJW and an alcoholic for my last two years. Still, I overall probably let the depression get the better of me back then and probably could've made stuff bet
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25860 No. 25860 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Do you have any addictions?
What are they? How did you get them? Have you gotten past them?
7 posts and 2 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 25876 [Edit]
>>25873
>When I go for more than a few days without fapping I start getting intense urges.

Isn't this normal? I thought it was.
I have a certain paraphilia but it isn't as fucked up as yours or it affects my life too much. I think being into practically everything a degenerate imagination can be into has helped me to not to be particularly obsessed.
Still, I think I can understand your situation. It's a shame sexuality can fuck you up so much when we don't have any use for it.
>> No. 25883 [Edit]
sugar
>> No. 25911 [Edit]
>>25875
A girl would be a big help but not wanting somebody with my problems is pretty reasonable. It's not all woe is me. I'm selfish and covertly narcissistic. I've managed to unlearn some of that but humans are like dogs. Some tricks are easy to teach but difficult to unlearn. Humans are no different.
Not all hope is lost on finding someone but it feels like playing the lottery. The kind of person I'd want is also going to feel hopeless and won't put much effort into dating or socializing. The chances these people ever meet is pretty slim. Girls like that exist but they're much better at blending in with normals. You can't just look at someone and easily tell they're a (compatible) weirdo.

I've been considering therapy but there aren't many psychologists in my area, especially men. If I just wanted drugs (psychiatry) I'd be golden... I've solved a lot of mental issues on my own but I worry this is different. Or that I won't have it solved for many, many years. My insurance is pretty awful for mental health but open enrollment is soon.

>>25876
It's normal but... not normal for how I deal with it. What makes the urges hard is how uncomfortable I am with sexual thoughts. It drags up a lot of shame for me but at the same time it feels nice... People seem to call it confidence but I don't think that's accurate. It's more like a drive to do things rather than sit at home all day. Just taking a 30m walk does a lot to vent it out. It's a mixture of fear, hornyness, loneliness, confidence, drive, and despair. I think this feeling is why teenagers always act so stupid. They're learning how to manage this feeling. I always suppressed it and now I need to figure it out. It's tempting to hit the release valve but it's a short term solution creating a long term problem.
When I get past this I'm not going to be the same person. Both in good and bad ways.
>> No. 25912 [Edit]
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25912
>>25911
So you're a selfish, covert-narcissist, masochist? That makes no sense. Is forced arrogance your way of compensating for low self-worth? A real selfish person doesn't even think about these things. They use others, discard them, and forget about it while still thinking they're a decent person. They don't get turned on by being stepped on to end "the cycle of abuse" or bullshit like that, they just devour people.

Post edited on 18th Sep 2020, 4:39pm

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23024 No. 23024 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]
Last one is on bump limit.
Post Cute Anime Girls Every Time you Think About Killing Yourself v2
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>> No. 26287 [Edit]
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26287
what is it about me i wonder
>> No. 26289 [Edit]
>>26278
You're a good person. If you were living in the 2D world (read: just world), you would have gotten a loli for your troubles.
>> No. 26290 [Edit]
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26290
>>26278
I find incredible how some people can be so extremely noisy. Last neighbours I had was like having three horses on cocaine going free into the roof, current neighbours are a family of sandniggers that don't work or do shit and literally spend all their waking time screaming at each other in the most loudest way possible. I also suspect there could be some domestic abuse there but I don't even care and I just would like them to shut up for once. All that while having to deal with the noise in the street, even with a curfew there's people screaming in the streets in late nighttime.
What I don't get is why you feel depressed, you avoided having that shit in your house, what's the problem? If something, having to deal with noisy humans depresses me because it makes me understand how living with people is hell, how I live in a culture I'm completely alien from, how I'm never going to get used to.
>> No. 26294 [Edit]
File 160959525073.jpg - (124.62KB , 1280x720 , 1604514816006.jpg )
26294
>>26290
>having to deal with noisy humans depresses me because it makes me understand how living with people is hell, how I live in a culture I'm completely alien from, how I'm never going to get used to.
Same, it makes me think the world is inherently ugly. The alienation part is the worst.

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