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23512 No. 23512 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit] [Last 50 posts]
You know what sucks about being a loner? Not having people to go to restaurants with. There is so much good food I would eat if only I had people to eat with. Going to a restaurant alone is weird. I could never do that.

I mean, every now and then I get food with people. But not anywhere near as much as I’d like.

Can you think of anything else you need a group for?
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>> No. 25878 [Edit]
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Some don't deserve nice things.
>> No. 25894 [Edit]
Nicotine actually, I feel like that’s something a lot of people here wouldn’t have. I took it up to get myself to stop drinking, and that and some other stuff did the job but then I developed a really bad nicotine addiction. I’ve been weening myself off slowly over the past month or so though and it’s been going pretty well, hopefully I’ll be able to stop for good soon
>> No. 25895 [Edit]
you can't do nicotine without other people?
>> No. 25940 [Edit]
Op, I do a lot of things alone because I'm already used to be alone. I go to restaurants alone in a regular basis, I don't see it as weird because I don't care about society or what is perceived as weird because I simply just want eat tasty food and I don't need people to eat food or anything that I just need my body and money to do.

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25891 No. 25891 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
How would you describe your time spent in school? Did you enjoy it?

I skipped class a lot, and even when I was there I wasn't really 'there'. All I cared about was going home and playing videogames. Being at school felt pointless, and not just because graduating became less and less likely as time went on. I didn't want to think about my future and didn't care. It was like a punishment for some unknown crime I didn't remember committing. I didn't care about making friends or dating, all that stuff felt like it was for the normal kids. I couldn't conform and didn't want to. My teachers all just gave up on me, most of them pretended I wasn't even there, with the exception of one old hag I had in my last year who would send me out to detention the moment I walked in the door. Needless to say, I never went to any proms/dances or other school events. I've never been invited to a class reunion and wouldn't go even if I was. I even made sure to skip school on photo days, so that I wouldn't show up in the year books. The idea of spending tends of thousands of dollars to do it again for another 4+ years was laughable.
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>> No. 25914 [Edit]
If that's the case, why aren't all schools like this? I highly doubt inner city schools are better. My school was similar to yours, in fact probably smaller, but while I was made fun of at times, nobody threatened to kill me or consistency harassed me or assaulted me. I didn't pay much attention to everybody else, but I don't remember seeing that kind of thing either. Maybe it's the time period.
>> No. 25915 [Edit]
The private school where all the overtly evil stuff happened could have been an outlier. Things definitely weren't that violent when I transferred to public; junior high onward, my classmates' modus operandi was typically lying to and manipulating teachers or following me around harassing me, often about the lies they started about me. It is hard to say why exactly it happened, though.
>> No. 25932 [Edit]
You don't have to be rich to go to a private school, many poor people send them there as a status thing. My mother(a warehouse worker) works with people that send their children there, there was also somebody in my area that sent their children there at the expense of everything else, the child was hospitalised for malnutrition in the end.

Maybe that is the cause of it, sending poor children that can barely even afford to eat to a school for upper middle class kids would breed quite a bit of animosity.
>> No. 25933 [Edit]
I always had trouble making friends, but for most of elementary school I wasn't too sad or lonely about it. I didn't particularly enjoy any subjects, most stuff was easy enough and I'd daydream a lot and draw here and there.

Middle school was when I started getting bullied, but lucky it ended after a couple of months when I got to sit elsewhere. I still mostly kept to myself, but I finally made one of my closer friends and we would write and draw stories together. After school I didn't join many clubs or groups, just heading straight to the library and reading books. Daydreaming a lot turned to relying on creative writing to really deal with how dull life got, even though I always knew it'd be hard to make any money off it. In 8th grade I had some good times playing Magic the Gathering.

9th to 10th grade was the worst and I wish I could just redo it. I'd want to say most of it was just depression and being immature and socially awkward. And then 11th to 12th grade things looked up a bit, I enjoyed a couple of my classes (useless philosophy and psychology) and made friends mostly over video games we played outside of it. Still, by that time I was frustrated enough with real-life that I didn't really try with 3D girls, but I don't think doing so at that age would be any better than playing a lot of games. I ended up having to retake some classes here and there but it ended up working out, and there was less overall time spent with school if you took required classes the first two years.

I spent most of college on my hobbies and I had some high streaks but also couldn't find the same level of friendship back in high school, and didn't enjoy video games as much anyways. There was an SSBM group I tried to hang out with but I didn't have the time or effort to grind skill as much as they did, I suppose I did go to martial arts club though. Classes could be pretty bad and I had been too lazy to change my major (probably would mean less time on hobbies if so) in the sense that there was usually a good deal of SJW brainwashing. Being stuck in apartment meant dealing with/facing certain people regularly, a brainwashed SJW and an alcoholic for my last two years. Still, I overall probably let the depression get the better of me back then and probably could've made stuff bet
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25860 No. 25860 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Do you have any addictions?
What are they? How did you get them? Have you gotten past them?
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>> No. 25876 [Edit]
>When I go for more than a few days without fapping I start getting intense urges.

Isn't this normal? I thought it was.
I have a certain paraphilia but it isn't as fucked up as yours or it affects my life too much. I think being into practically everything a degenerate imagination can be into has helped me to not to be particularly obsessed.
Still, I think I can understand your situation. It's a shame sexuality can fuck you up so much when we don't have any use for it.
>> No. 25883 [Edit]
>> No. 25911 [Edit]
A girl would be a big help but not wanting somebody with my problems is pretty reasonable. It's not all woe is me. I'm selfish and covertly narcissistic. I've managed to unlearn some of that but humans are like dogs. Some tricks are easy to teach but difficult to unlearn. Humans are no different.
Not all hope is lost on finding someone but it feels like playing the lottery. The kind of person I'd want is also going to feel hopeless and won't put much effort into dating or socializing. The chances these people ever meet is pretty slim. Girls like that exist but they're much better at blending in with normals. You can't just look at someone and easily tell they're a (compatible) weirdo.

I've been considering therapy but there aren't many psychologists in my area, especially men. If I just wanted drugs (psychiatry) I'd be golden... I've solved a lot of mental issues on my own but I worry this is different. Or that I won't have it solved for many, many years. My insurance is pretty awful for mental health but open enrollment is soon.

It's normal but... not normal for how I deal with it. What makes the urges hard is how uncomfortable I am with sexual thoughts. It drags up a lot of shame for me but at the same time it feels nice... People seem to call it confidence but I don't think that's accurate. It's more like a drive to do things rather than sit at home all day. Just taking a 30m walk does a lot to vent it out. It's a mixture of fear, hornyness, loneliness, confidence, drive, and despair. I think this feeling is why teenagers always act so stupid. They're learning how to manage this feeling. I always suppressed it and now I need to figure it out. It's tempting to hit the release valve but it's a short term solution creating a long term problem.
When I get past this I'm not going to be the same person. Both in good and bad ways.
>> No. 25912 [Edit]
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So you're a selfish, covert-narcissist, masochist? That makes no sense. Is forced arrogance your way of compensating for low self-worth? A real selfish person doesn't even think about these things. They use others, discard them, and forget about it while still thinking they're a decent person. They don't get turned on by being stepped on to end "the cycle of abuse" or bullshit like that, they just devour people.

Post edited on 18th Sep 2020, 4:39pm

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23024 No. 23024 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]
Last one is on bump limit.
Post Cute Anime Girls Every Time you Think About Killing Yourself v2
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>> No. 26287 [Edit]
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what is it about me i wonder
>> No. 26289 [Edit]
You're a good person. If you were living in the 2D world (read: just world), you would have gotten a loli for your troubles.
>> No. 26290 [Edit]
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I find incredible how some people can be so extremely noisy. Last neighbours I had was like having three horses on cocaine going free into the roof, current neighbours are a family of sandniggers that don't work or do shit and literally spend all their waking time screaming at each other in the most loudest way possible. I also suspect there could be some domestic abuse there but I don't even care and I just would like them to shut up for once. All that while having to deal with the noise in the street, even with a curfew there's people screaming in the streets in late nighttime.
What I don't get is why you feel depressed, you avoided having that shit in your house, what's the problem? If something, having to deal with noisy humans depresses me because it makes me understand how living with people is hell, how I live in a culture I'm completely alien from, how I'm never going to get used to.
>> No. 26294 [Edit]
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>having to deal with noisy humans depresses me because it makes me understand how living with people is hell, how I live in a culture I'm completely alien from, how I'm never going to get used to.
Same, it makes me think the world is inherently ugly. The alienation part is the worst.

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25805 No. 25805 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
I'm going through a thing right now and literally have nobody else in my life and want to just legit chat with people who might have some clue what that is like. I was shit posting under the name drrdrr (I think,) and I removed you from my friends list on steam since you were never on there any other time anyway because I was in the process of removing everybody from it.

As I said, could really use somebody to talk to, normally I would call you a faggot or something for banning me over the mention of belle delphine, you know, playful banter? But I would rather just honestly talk than shitpost especially since you don't want the shitposting anyway.

If some other mod reads it, I used to be on this board ages and ages ago as a semi regular until I dropped off the face of the earth. Possibly different name, possibly different trip, tohno would know who I am.

Dunno if this board even has other mods since I haven't used it in years ayy lmao
2 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 25811 [Edit]

You do you man, if you can't take a joke it's little wonder you're fucking miserable.
>> No. 25812 [Edit]
I think I just inadvertently leaked my trip due to being retarded, but it's not like I use that password or trip so it doesn't matter. Feel free to use it to mock me I don't use imageboards anyway, just wanted to have a real convo on irc rather than shitposting.

Honestly though not sure that as a mentally ill person that surrounding myself with a hive of the same, is even a remotely healthy mentality.
>> No. 25813 [Edit]
Why not delete the post and remake it? Also, it can be very therapeutic to interact with like minded people, where as it can be stressful to feel alone. Also, try not to make an ass of yourself if you want to have civilized chats.
>> No. 25814 [Edit]

Dude, I'm in the midst of a nervous breakdown, I can barely think straight to figure out how to edit a post right now.

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25611 No. 25611 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
What are the little things you enjoy? In day to day life, do you have any hedonistic pleasures which you cherish? A cup of tea or a warm bath or gazing at the sky. I love french yogurt. Especially vanilla. It's smooth and creamy and doesn't have a hint of sourness. It's nice.
1 post omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 25613 [Edit]
For me personally is when I crush my enemies, see them driven before me, and to hear the lamentations of their women.
>> No. 25614 [Edit]
I'm a garbage photographer but i like wandering around
>> No. 25659 [Edit]
Why was the image deleted?
>> No. 25797 [Edit]
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Birch sap. It's so clean and refreshing it makes you light-headed. If the taste of water was a color, it would be gray, light gray when chilled. It's nice, but it has an oppressive dullness to it too. Birch sap tastes like bright white.

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25554 No. 25554 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
In a good home of course, have fun every day, everyone loves you and you genuinely bring joy to those around you just by being you regardless of age.

Woof woof. Bark bark. I've taken the woofpill for happiness.

Look at that boomer the dog guy, completely out of it but gotta envy him.
>> No. 25555 [Edit]
So like a child without any responsibilities? Dogs don't have hands, anon. Even if you cut off your own hands, at least there's prosthetics.
>> No. 25556 [Edit]
Exactly, I've reached the point in my life where I feel I'm spiritually broken and my attempts at functioning in society have backfired. Some reason my motivation went to zero.

I do wonder what happened to that Boomer the dog guy though, he's been inactive for years.

I'm not a furry but I wonder if reality always catches up with people eventually, I know ulililia it did. Adulthood was worse than I imagined as I figured I'd only get major physical deterioration in my 40s and above rather than 20s...
>> No. 25559 [Edit]
It might happen in the afterlife. I'd think my sort of similar wish would come true like that.
>> No. 25777 [Edit]
I would rather be a cat and stay home all the time

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25280 No. 25280 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
did you grow up poor
did you have an abusive childhood which led to you being fucked up
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>> No. 25652 [Edit]
>did you grow up poor

No, my dad makes a middle class income however he has a blue collar job and no education.

>did you have an abusive childhood which led to you being fucked up

My dad was always doing something and had very little time or interest for me. He used to smack me to punish me which I don't actually have an issue with in and of itself and he used to force me to do chores which again I don't have an issue with but he never showed any warmth to me or compensated me for the chores in anyway to counter it so I always say him as cold and like a boss you don't like, not like a father at all. Eventually my parents divorced and that was that.

I used to think my mother was caring and that she loved me but over time I have come to think that maybe she doesn't and it's just that she doesn't hate me. She doesn't hate me but she never shows that much warmth for me, she never asked me about what I like or made any kind of attempt to interact with me, hug me or get close to me as you would to a child. She just left me on my own, and that was another issue, even though we were middle class they did not spend much on me, my room was incredibly spartan and they never took me anywhere. My childhood was incredibly boring. I can't actually remember my mother ever trying to comfort me or anything like that either, maybe if I went to her she would hold me but that was it. Even as I got older, our relationship turned more into the kind a man would have with an older unrelated woman he lived with, I might talk to her about something and I often had to do the manly tasks for her but again, nothing really nurturing or caring came form her. It just had not occurred to me until quite recently that this is not really how mothers are meant to be.

What's worse is that I am actually the oldest of 5, and none of my siblings are treated like I am. I've seen them laugh and joke with my father and my mother goes out of her way to do things for them and spends money on them and bought them toys and asks them what they want. And all of my siblings care for each other and are close to each other too, even though I tried to be a good older brother to them I am not a part of that, I tried really hard to be
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>> No. 25658 [Edit]
Yeah that could be it, or it could be getting beaten by my mom and slammed repeatedly head first into concrete as she screamed about wanting to kill me.
>> No. 25662 [Edit]
that's definitely abuse
>> No. 25741 [Edit]
I grew up poor, yeah. But then again everyone around me was poor so I didn't really feel it that strongly at the time. By any metric I'm still poorer than the average person, but seeing the attitudes and behavior of the richer people in my country makes me disgusted, so I'm somewhat glad I didn't become like them. Wealth changes you as a person and very few can resist not becoming arseholes as a result.

No. 25111 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Human beings are a disease, cancer of this planet.
35 posts and 4 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 25726 [Edit]
An example of that would be Intelligence. IQ has been falling in developed countries for a while, since the 70s even according to some research.
>> No. 25727 [Edit]
A very large number of animal species are "conscious". What sets humans apart most is language and the intelligence to abstract things, not consciousness. Decline in the species is also arbitrary. Plus, humans have been around for such a short period, and our own perspective is so warped, that we don't see the big picture. Even if we were "declining", that may just be a short term trend followed by massive gains in whoever is left.

That can largely be attributed to demographic changes.

Post edited on 6th Jul 2020, 7:59pm
>> No. 25739 [Edit]
Working at a grocery store really opens your eyes to how retarded the general population is. They're like bugs, they have no self awareness and are absolutely ignorant.
>> No. 25808 [Edit]
I think any job that has you working around lots of people will do that. Just hanging out somewhere long enough will show you how bad people can be.

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25531 No. 25531 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
How would you like to improve yourself? In what ways and by what methods? I don't mean self-improvement in the generic, conformist, commercial bs kind of way. People have ideals and things they see as virtues. There might be the idea of a "quality person" in your head which you would like to be.
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>> No. 25700 [Edit]
Forgive me for misspeaking here when I implied you said tc is perfect, which you didn't, so ignore that part. Sorry.
>> No. 25701 [Edit]
What part should I pay attention to then? TC is far from perfect and? If there's more to it, like something that's better, i'd like to know.
>> No. 25702 [Edit]
Can you give a concrete example of the cynicism you're referring to? It doesn't seem to leak out of /so/ too much, and even within /so/ the jadedness is of a more "constructive" nature than places like wizchan, where discussions (excluding the increasingly large fraction of tourists) are both more fatalist and less interesting.

Consequently I'd tend to agree with >>25698 in that – as far as I've found – there isn't really a better place for discussion in the same niche of topics. Despite the notion of "outcasts" comprising a large part of this site's thematic core, even if you were to look beyond that and stick to e.g. /navi/ or /an/ there's unparalleled signal to noise ratio. As a whole it may not be perfect, but I'd be hard-pressed to think of an aspect that could be improved; I'd be interested to hear if you think otherwise.
>> No. 25703 [Edit]
I don't really feel the need to talk to anyone on a public board, and barely do at the moment anyway. I'd just post nowhere is what I mean.

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25156 No. 25156 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
What do you think will happen after we die?(either by suicide or naturally).
Do you believe you will be reunited with your waifu on blessed 2D realm?
Or will your soul just vanished back to nothingness?

Post edited on 9th Jan 2020, 12:22pm
>> No. 25157 [Edit]
>Or will your soul just vanished back to nothingness?
This one, except I don't believe in the soul. Your consciousness will stop existing though, yeah.
>> No. 25158 [Edit]
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There's no "after" you die. Not for you anyways. So the nothing part, except it's not as nice as all that because "vanishing into nothing" sounds like you actually get to rest in death. Instead the only rest you'll ever get is whatever you can scrounge up while still alive. If your life is/was miserable that's all it will ever be, and death can't save you from anything. Hell, chances are even if "you" do manage to embrace death someone just like you will pop up again somewhere after some number of eternities, feeling as if no time has passed at all.

Only way out of this would be if somehow some godlike being or principle existed in the fabric or outside of this universe actively intending salvation of souls we don't even know we have. I desperately want to believe, but it doesn't seem likely.
>> No. 25159 [Edit]
I think you just shut off and that's it, nothing more nothing less.
>> No. 25673 [Edit]
>Do you believe you will be reunited with your waifu on blessed 2D realm?

i can only dream. there is a part of me that is truly hopeful that one day we will finally be able to be together, i just have to figure out how to get to her

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