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20993 No. 20993 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
If you divided up your life into percentages of good, "meh", and bad, what would it come out to?
18 posts and 5 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 21141 [Edit]
>>21126
>manic elation
I hope it lasts you or you're able to get some sort of left over reslove from it. That feeling you've described has almost always ended up in leaving me feeling slightly worse than before.
>>21137
She doesn't look all that smug.
>> No. 21142 [Edit]
>>21138
Did you really fall into depression just because childhood ended or were there some deeper issues? Just curious and I tend to overanalyze things on my end.

I feel like even when I was a kid I had trouble expressing feelings and being happy with friends/family, most of the time being lost in fantasy.... Right now maybe the only difference is that fantasies have more love interests and the fights are a bit gorier and even darker themes perhaps.
>> No. 21212 [Edit]
Popped open Excel and did some number-crunching, rated each year in my life from 1 - 5 starting at age 3, then used the ratings to assign points to good/meh/bad scores.

Final percentages ended up being 14/57/29.
>> No. 21266 [Edit]
>>21142
Pretty much the same here.

At the time I thought it was a winter depression, but stress was probably the major factor. As a kid I lived happily and carefree inside "my world". Nowadays there are just so many things you need to come up to. You forget a single one of them and everything becomes unstable, you get punished and suffer from regret or even the punishment itself.

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19947 No. 19947 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Adults should have to apply for parental licenses. Seriously. Bad parents almost guarantees a messed up kid.

Long story short, my parents are REALLY fucked up, and they are really the last people who should ever have kids. I used to think they were normal, and that everyone's lives were equally messed up, but after telling other people about my situation, I've learned that's not the case. I probably could have gotten them arrested for their abuse, negligence, drug use, etc. but I'm not that kind of person.

Who else has shitty parents?
41 posts and 2 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 20691 [Edit]
year the youth in asia better paid for those old motherfuckers cause i sure ain't gonna
>> No. 20695 [Edit]
>>20681
That's because China is still a back water nation outside of the city, where the parants of the girl pay for everything and boys can be used for heavy manual labour. Both are things that don't really happen that much in first world nations.

>>20688
please see >>20690
Since natural selection is dead, we need to take care of it.
>> No. 20698 [Edit]
Turboedging in here.
>> No. 21233 [Edit]
My sister always tries watch those dumb vines when my sister comes to visit me. I do not get what is so funny about encouraging your kids to swear on camera, or act all slutty with your mom, or all the other vines parents in there 20's post, featuring there kids. Yet people laugh because they just assume they don't know good from bad. What a horrible time to live.

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21072 No. 21072 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
It's a silly question, since I doubt anyone here is really sure of it (unlses you are happy, then good on you) but I can only seem to think of the endless void of life, rather than the bits in between.

Most of the time I feel useless because a lack of talent, all those years on video games and I'm not the guy making them, or taking education to reach there one day. I've never been able to draw well and my general awkwardness reduces my ability to become a voice actor even before knowing if I have talent or not. It shouldn't get me down as much as it does, since it's the very few who reach there, but I guess years of sadness/isolation end up in me only wanting to reach obscene goals or dreams.

Someone mentioned to me once that he'd need power to be happy, and have people serving him and making him feel wanted. That resonated with me a little, but rather than power from others I'd rather myself to be powerful/talented instead of it just being a birthright kind of thing.

I'm rambling, but I worry about being too far gone after I dropped into nihlism for a few months and still am in it, though at least a constant feeling of anxiety has left.
6 posts and 1 image omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 21189 [Edit]
>>21079
>Focusing on the end goal is how you know you don't really want to do something
I thought this for such a long time. That if I want to get into drawing or programming or whatever it is that I want to do with my life that I can't because clearly, I don't like practising it and if I don't like that then I don't truly like it at all. You know how many years I wasted because I held beliefs like that?

In my mind, I have an idea of what kind of programs I want to make and what kind of pictures I want to be able to draw but in the end, when I see that my attempts to create those things are seemingly endlessly far away from what I envisioned mentally, it was so frustrating that I would give up. I would give up because clearly, I don't "actually" want those things. The reality is that I do want those things. I do want to create those end-results and there's nothing wrong with this. There's nothing wrong with being a results-oriented artist. I think the difference is that for those who enjoy the journey, art is a means through which they express their nature whereas for those who are results-oriented, art becomes a form of rebellion against it. That's definitely how it feels to me. When I try to improve my artistic ability, it feels like, just a little bit each day, that I've stolen the powers of creation from the Gods. I have defied them and accomplished what was not meant to be possible for me. When I see that I put in so much effort to accomplish something which someone with talent did with ease, I don't feel distraught. I feel a deep sense of gratification. It's not "Aww. I have to work this hard to get those results" but rather, "A person has to be this talented to get my results". I know that I'm not a "true" artist. That I'm a fake. That I'm not doing as what was intended for me. That I'm not following the grooves that were laid down for me and you know what?

You can go fuck yourself.
>> No. 21190 [Edit]
>>21189
Wow calm down I just said do things you enjoy so you don't have to force yourself to things.
You actually sounds pretty tense. I'm guessing you still haven't found a way to express yourself that you actually enjoy. You should keep looking.
>> No. 21191 [Edit]
>>21190
Sorry about that. I just re-read my post and realised how it looks. In the moment when I was writing it, I wasn't thinking of you at all. I was thinking of whatever God it was that I was rebelling against. In my mind, I had a middle-finger held up against the sky rather than you and lost in my euphoria, I started talking to it rather than you. I only wanted to express that feeling directly. It didn't come off the way I hoped at all. No offense meant to you.

As time progresses, I've become increasingly convinced of the possibility that our talents are actually skills that we developed in our previous life. I've seen musicians play pieces that they mysteriously felt that they had played before. I believe that at some point in one of our previous lives, these talents that we have actually started as "unnatural" skills that we either forced ourselves to develop or had some kind of emotional support to help us develop. The settlers who came to America and were paid money to plough the land, land which had never once up until this point been ploughed, they frequently broke their tools trying to soften the ground. The next generation however had a significantly easier time dealing with the land. It was tough and likewise, as I blaze these new trails and plough these new lands, I encounter a similar stiff resistance but that's okay. When I reincarnate, I'll be able to pick up where I left off and the next "me" will find it natural.

For me, the true nature of art is taking the unnatural and forcing it to be natural. You've tamed this wild, unyielding beast. Yes, I'm tense and I suffer but this pain is meaningful so I embrace it all.
>> No. 21215 [Edit]
I've been miserable for years, but just 2 days ago I started stepping out of my "safe zones" and "bondries" and shit, and I've actually started feeling like life has a purpose. I think challenging yourself to do things you wouldn't normally do can only lead to happiness.

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20642 No. 20642 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
I'm not sure how appropriate this is, so I'll remove it if needed. I'm 23 and a lot of the time I run into people I can't relate very well with on waifu and anime websites, not just because I'm a probable autistic NEET but also because most people seem to be mid teens (or under 20) and grow out of things. I don't have anything against younger people and I know in the real world I'm considered relatively young myself but I just find it easier to relate and can't help but be curious on what age most people are, I guess there will be a decade between some users, maybe including myself and a 33 year old.

I don't really know what else to type, thanks for the website it gives me something to do other than be stressed all day.
46 posts and 3 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 20878 [Edit]
I recently turned 27. I gave up around age 14 or 15 and became increasingly reclusive. I have a job now but outside of it I never leave my apartment. At one point I was fully shut in for 6 months (didn't even leave room unless I had to shit) when I was 20. I have maybe 4 friends (all from this site) but other than that I don't really know anyone or interact with others. I've gotten really good at surface level interactions with normals and that keeps people at bay pretty well when working.
>> No. 20882 [Edit]
>>20878
>I've gotten really good at surface level interactions with normals and that keeps people at bay pretty well when working.

I've actually been getting the impression lately that you're actually a lot more normal than you realize. Not you personally, but I think that the thing of yours I quoted is true for a very large fraction of the people who appear to be normies.
A the start of Sept. I got a new job which is kind of salesmanish so I've been interacting with way too many people and also abusing anxiety drugs and while its pretty fun as I get to know these people I realize that so many of them are way too awkward and uncomfortable in their own skin to be normies. They're just faking it like you and me, most of them are also using "performance enhancing drugs" AKA drugs.
My own life history is this
Periods of time when I've been financially secure: Sober hikki N33T
Periods of poverty: Stoned 22/7, reliable, intelligent, hard worker who makes lots of money and gets promotions and raises swiftly. Even when I'm high all the time I like that couple hours of sobriety in the morning after waking up.

I bet I'd rich as a motherfucker if I never believed in that "drugs are bad" shit and was just high since I was 13 years old, probably be long since retired and rich and having my own private island near tokyo that I would invite 2D high school club members to visit.
>> No. 21037 [Edit]
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21037
>>20686
thanks friend, hope all is going well on your end.
>> No. 21204 [Edit]
I'm 31.

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21149 No. 21149 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
This is my first lonely Christmas without any family and I just want to wish you guys a Merry Christmas.
10 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 21201 [Edit]
Merry New YEAARS
>> No. 21202 [Edit]
>>21201
Merry Happy New years!

And to everybody else, of course!
>> No. 21203 [Edit]
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21203
Happy New Years!
>> No. 21211 [Edit]
>>21209
Ring in the new abomination!

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20995 No. 20995 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
No matter what I try nothing is enjoyable. I keep trying to do new things too so maybe they will be fun. Different video games, creative hobbies, athletic hobbies, studying, research, drugs, exploring, socializing. Nothing makes me feel good. I'm just like dead inside. Should I just end it?
5 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 21046 [Edit]
When that happened to me, I had to learn how to enjoy things again. This is probably going to sound stupid, but I had to actively figure out how things could be entertaining again. If I waited to be entertained, or for something to just grab me, all magical like it did back in the day, then nothing would stimulate me. No matter how new the experience was, it was hollow. If I stopped everything, put full attention on just one thing and actively searched for what was entertaining or how something could be entertaining or what good values it had, I had a slight chance of being able to feel a little stimulated from it. After doing it enough times I managed to rekindle my zest for a couple things. Everything else is still a trial though. For example, I can watch and enjoy anime again, but I still struggle with how to enjoy video games again.

Maybe if instead you focused on the quality of your experiences instead of trying out a bunch of random shit, it might help? It also might not, but I don't know what else to tell you.
>> No. 21052 [Edit]
Something similar to your affliction haunts me most of the time as well, though I manage to rein in on it through drunkenness, which makes most everything tolerable.
However, for me, it is not that everything bores me - on the contrary, I was, and repeatedly become again, spirited about all things I tried to pass the time with at some point. What erodes the very core of my soul is that everything, after the initial excitement subsides, appears as it is; a diversion that keeps me from doing what my love for life compels me to. Everything is escapism, even (or maybe especially so) work in an imperfect society seemingly hell-bent on (self) destruction that needs not to be abolished but given a complete overhaul. My discontent with the world and my desire to make it right keep me from escaping it.
What is it that keeps you from enjoying things? Do you have an idea?
>> No. 21054 [Edit]
>>21052
What would you change about society? Genuinely curious.
>> No. 21086 [Edit]
Daily life is so very "meh", with enjoyable things few and far between.

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20969 No. 20969 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Posting in a dead board
8 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 20987 [Edit]
I can only think of one case in the entire history of the internet in which the death of a good imageboard wasn't caused by an influx of noobs. In every other case the board admin didn't spend the server fees on drugs and the board died because noobs showed up and started chatting amongst themselves, drowning the established user base who created the content which attracted noobs to the site initially. So, if the site you like is too slow then just be happy that you have a site you like at all.
>> No. 21071 [Edit]
What should we talk about?
>> No. 21092 [Edit]
>>21071
There's nothing to talk about. There was never something to talk about, at least in respect to /so/ because any kind of discussion would be better served in a board where its the actual main topic with people knowledgeable about it. Boards like this are just stupid because they encourage self defeating attitudes and mediocrity, 2 things that got you in this hole in first place. No one here is retarded enough to actually need "advice" and venting becomes addicting instead of helpful. This is why this retard >>20979 is wrong and this place will stay half-dead like its been for years. Unchanging, with the same userbase that has exhausted most topics. But hey if thats what you want who am I to judge? It just seems an obvious contradiction to me to admit wanting more posts yet have that unwelcoming attitude towards new posters.
>> No. 21110 [Edit]
>>20974
>/r9k/, as well as wizchan
pls no

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20803 No. 20803 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Do you think you'll ever loose your virginity?
If you already have Get out
26 posts and 3 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 20865 [Edit]
>>20864
>stop browsing any of the chans
this can be one of the best things you can do atm. good luck.
>> No. 21007 [Edit]
I hope not, but I'm sure I won't.
>> No. 21075 [Edit]
>>20847
fucking sage
>> No. 21273 [Edit]
sex is stupid. it takes more effort to move your hips than your hands. not to mention, it's just as dirty as fapping, or moreso. and you accidentally may put more fuckups into the world or get an awful disease.

applying your hand to your penis means that you can stimulate yourself exactly as you need it. it's a perfect feedback loop. fapping costs nothing and can be done pretty much anytime or anywhere. and almost anyone can do it.

I'm not asexual and I've had ``experience'' in my past, but I honestly can't tell why someone would obsess over having / not having sex unless their hormones are controlling their mind. In which case, there is an easy solution: fap it off.

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20168 No. 20168 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Is anyone here growing bored with the internet? I am, and I don't think it is because I'm depressed, because I still find joy and interest in other things.

I'm going to move somewhere in a month, and I'm thinking about not getting internet there. Of course, I still need the internet to pay bills, check up on my accounts, and follow this place and a few other sites on occasion, but I can just use the wi-fi at the local university for that. Maybe if it gets too bad, I will have to invest in some internet service, but that won't make me like it any more than I already do.

I just see the internet as a waste of time. And I'm not even on it a whole lot. My computer, sure, but I usually do stuff on my computer, like write non-fiction and poetry. The internet is a wonderful thing to obtain free porn and such, but that stuff isn't good for you. There is also music from bandcamp, neat pictures, as well as the occasional interesting discussion and the ability to share your works with the world, but that is really about it.

I don't know. Something started happening around 2009, I guess. I started becoming more alienated around others as people online became far more caustic in order to be "cool". And these were usually on sites where people had an identity. What made it worse, though, was how the whole SJW thing took off in 2011 and now everyone is a pathetic cuckhold who gets offended by everything (well, outside of the 8chan people and to a lesser extent the 420chan people, but both groups kind of suck). Out of everyone I know online, I can think of maybe five or so people who I at least consider interesting. It used to be that I could find a lot more people like that, but maybe that was because I was much younger, the internet was not dominated by social media, and people were more free to be their true selves rather than hiding under an anonymous entity.

The whole groupthink thing about the current trends of the internet fascinate me, but at the same time they depress me as well. I hate the people on /baph/ just as much as I hate SJWs; I see them as a bunch of try-too-hards. I just can't relate to anyone now, because everyone is so polarized and even here, the standards of what and how you should be are so rigid. Don't get me wrong, I love this place, but
Message too long. Click here to view the full text.
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>> No. 20493 [Edit]
>>20455

>Everyone wants to be hooked in these days, or at least doesn't care to be.

I think it's honestly simply a 'everybody does it [so it must be 'good']' mentality. People really don't put much more thought into it besides that. I think a good chunk of people participating in those 'rituals' (it's honestly become something like that) don't really enjoy it. It's more of a daily routine.

>I only know of two people who don't have a smartphone

If you wanna count me in that makes three!

>People just want to talk to people online that they already know in real life these days.

Or, to put it another way, internet is just an extension of daily life for 'normal' people. Back in the day internet was a whole new, uncharted world which we treated as something completely separate from the real world.
Well, for all it's worth I still do that.
>> No. 20498 [Edit]
>>20488
Same. Internet addiction ruined my life.
>> No. 20504 [Edit]
I miss how the internet was back in the last decade. The internet these days seems more a copy of daytime television or at least it's heading in that direction.
>> No. 20507 [Edit]
>>20489
Just go on IRC or share your Skype in random threads. #t-c is pretty friendly cool and hip!!!

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19152 No. 19152 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Anyone here like to drive?
I really like cruising around for no particular reason.
It's one of the few times where I can be among other people and feel equal to them.
I can be around people without having to talk to them.
17 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 19210 [Edit]
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19210
I love driving, and I too randomly just get in my decade-old Chevy Monte Carlo and burble muh straightpipes in muh supercharged Buick 3800 aimlessly, preferably on county line roads in the middle of nowhere at night. I find it very therapeutic, especially with some good music. I once ended up two states over.

Though a big problem I have with that is, well, the ol' girl drinks premium and isn't frugal about it ether so fuel alone can get pricey. But hey, it's the price of your toys.

Pic related.
>> No. 19218 [Edit]
>>19206
Driving gets easier over time. There's nothing that will help other than experience.
At first it can be scary or overwhelming, but the more you do it, the more relaxed you'll be.
>> No. 19220 [Edit]
I don't like real long drives, but I enjoy going out for 30-45 minutes with some music playing.
It's too cold now, but my favorite times to drive are when the sun is out but it isn't too hot. Small breeze is nice too.
I roll my windows down, turn on some chill music, and drive down back roads at whatever pace I feel like going.

Driving all alone like that makes me feel really at peace. My mother likes to say I'm wasting gas, but my dad understands.
>> No. 21367 [Edit]
I don't like it. I feel like wasting my time because (if I really need to go somewhere for whatever reason) I could sit in a bus/train reading a book instead.
Most people are fucking retards too, I wonder why there aren't much more accidents happening.

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20983 No. 20983 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
I'm trying and failing to study for an exam tomorrow. I know the more I do, the better off I'll be, but I feel sick knowing that I'll never study enough in time to ace this thing.

What have you been putting off recently? Has it come back to bite you as hard in the ass as it has for me?
>> No. 20986 [Edit]
>exam

Tell all your "bros" at NT University we said hi

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