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21715 No. 21715 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit] [Last 50 posts]
I live in Liverpool, England.

Just out of curiosity, everyone seems to be american.
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>> No. 23077 [Edit]
I remember my teacher accusing me of plagiarism and bringing in a USB stick to cheat in a test because I wrote in american english.

When I redid the test I really couldn't be arsed and got a D, don't even think they said sorry for implying I cheated and threatening me with punishment.
>> No. 23097 [Edit]
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New Zealand
>> No. 23098 [Edit]
I used to live in Southland. I actually quite liked it there. You could walk across town to the supermarket and see maybe one other person.
>> No. 23100 [Edit]
America. God Bless.

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23078 No. 23078 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
I was home schooled throughout my high school life so my education and social life isn't the best. Despite this my parents are forcing me to go to collage. At first I was fine with it because they said they'll help pay, and I guess I wasn't against the idea. But as soon as I started I hit a wall. The first semester I passed with C's but now i'm in the second and i'm failing everything. I have all this pressure coming from multiple sides. For one thing, from what I'm over hearing from everyone the classes are relatively easy but i'm still the lowest in my classes. Second my parents are not only forcing me to go but there helping me pay for it, something that I know is a very rare thing and I shouldn't complain about. And If I don't finish i'll be the only person in my family who didn't go to collage. I've had assignments that I couldn't finish and just skipped class that day, never told my parents they don't even know i'm failing. I Know my parents won't let me dropout because they know I don't any plan for living but I just can't do any of this, this pressure is just unbearable and I can't talk to anyone about it. I feel so bad I've tried cutting myself a few times.
Does anyone else have any pressure on them from someone or something?
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>> No. 23082 [Edit]
I don't have the most job experience, but restaurants are usually ready to hire the inexperienced as dishwashers as such, which is dirty but not too tiring, although some of the better restaurants do get really busy. Also if you're good enough at just grinding shit out like numbers and names (data entry) you might be able to look around for temp office jobs, I had one grading papers, but that usually isn't much more than min. wage either.

My second quarter (my college system was different) was also pretty frustrating especially because throughout my whole freshman year they pushed SJW crap the hardest, but I guess since then I did manage to turn it around and finish my degree.
>> No. 23083 [Edit]
I can confirm that restaurants are pretty okay. If you can get a hospitality cert to do basic kitchen hand stuff you can also get a decent wage too because you're technically skilled labour rather than unskilled. I earn 50% on the wait staff where I work and while it's intense when it kicks off at peak service, it's not too bad overall. If I work a sunday for example I'm looking at ~$35/hr and around $50/hr on a public holiday and the certificate was I think $20 and a couple of hours online coursework.

If you can get a cheap apartment, you can live comfortably with decent hours. I work under 20 hours a week and easily pay my expenses with money to spare. I recommend kitchen work if you have the motivation to stick it out since it is very anxiety-inducing to begin with. I had plenty of panic attacks when I first started but it was root hog or die so I had to stick with it and I got used to it.

I'm not from the States though so YMMV.
>> No. 23085 [Edit]
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I've been in this situation before and you need to drop out ASAP.

I got bullied lots in grade school and that led to a mix of home and private schooling where everything was a comfortable little padded room. It was a lot better at the time, but it made college hell. Like you, my parents "helped" pay for it (meaning they bought a few textbooks and gave me some gas money), until the student loans came knocking, at which point it was my responsibility. Didn't even know what I was getting myself into... several years later I was heartbroken and $8800 in debt I was led to believe I wouldn't have to pay back...

College, even a shitty community college like I went to will eat you alive. Being able to learn the material might not even be that important, being able to present it, play the social game to get exceptions and extensions, that's what gets you through college. And I didn't have any of that. Not to mention being able to regiment your time to make sure everything gets done, since colleges don't give a shit about making it easy. They get paid either way; you'll go through periods of nothing to do, and times where your entire life is studying. Point is, you're just not in a place to handle college mentally. When I went, I wasn't either, it's not a knock on you, just a statement of fact.

My advice to you right now would be to drop out before you wreck your GPA and credit too badly. That's what I did, can't get a loan, can't go back to school. Not until I pay off the money I owe at least, and that's going to take a while.

Find a shitty job you can tolerate like >>23083 mentioned. Keep in mind I said "tolerate" not "enjoy" because you're not going to find that. Save your money and get away from your parents. They want the best for you, but it's smothering. You can't breathe with them around, they won't let you because they're too worried "we care so much" "all we want is for you to be happy" they'll say. And the only way you can have that is if you get away and enjoy a sense of independence they've never let you have.
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>> No. 23096 [Edit]
It's too late into the semester for that plus my speech impediment makes it a bit hard over all, and correction it's not that I haven't told my parents them they just don't know that I skiped class a few times. I told them I'm failing but they just told me to keep doing it and don't drop out.
>Why was I homeschooled
I don't really know my mother never really gave me a straight answer.
>That story
I always wanted to just run away to California and live off of the welfare. But I don't have a car (i'm burrowing my parent's).
Yea I knew a guy who lived off of restaurant money, he said it was doable but hard and social. I don't think I can do that.
Thanks to the info. I really did think about all that stuff, from just moving out to living in a car. And really I don't think I want that, I don't really know what I want at this point. I think I should just end it here. Thanks for the all the advice, and for the fun times. This site really was a nice distraction from it all.
Thanks Again

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22823 No. 22823 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
how old do you have to be before u can die and ppl won't say "oh its sad he died so young"?
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>> No. 22912 [Edit]
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>> No. 22983 [Edit]
>banning a dead guy
Waste of time
>> No. 22984 [Edit]
They're very likely alive and the ban was very likely temporary.
>> No. 23017 [Edit]
I suppose the most polite thing would be to wait until all of your ancestors are dead.

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20538 No. 20538 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Anyone else her crafting a suicide note
Errmm just for creative outlet?

"All these tragedies and failures paint me, define me. I have crafted my own ruin."
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>> No. 22996 [Edit]
I liked one I saw on another chan

"Death is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."
>> No. 22997 [Edit]
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Sounds like something Oscar Wilde would say.
>> No. 23016 [Edit]
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Sorry, no spoilers.

Anyone read this? I've fantasized about being able to craft some grand philosophical treatise, but I doubt I'd ever get there.
>> No. 23137 [Edit]
I read that ages ago. I'm sorry to say that it isn't anything of substance, it goes over grounds trodden by religious orders without adding anything new to the mix. 3/10 could be done better.

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22734 No. 22734 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
I'm just worried how I'm going to survive the next few years. It's become obvious there is no way I can live a normal lifestyle working a 9-5, even if I wanted to I just don't have the skill. But I'm not charismatic enough to talk to a counselor and convince them to recommend me for NEETbucks. I can only hope for my parents to not mind me staying here, but their relationship is in a constant state of deterioration and it simply won't be possible at some point. So, either I become homeless, or I die. I guess I'm still scared of suicide, as appealing as it sounds to me. I'd like to be able to finish my backlog before I die, you know?
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>> No. 22870 [Edit]
my parents helped me get neetbux and find a place to live. without them i'd be living on the streets. i'm so useless
>> No. 22874 [Edit]
Baby steps, OP. Why work 9 to 5? My first job was 10 pm to 7 am.
>> No. 22988 [Edit]
How do I get neetbux? Obviously I need to be diagnosed, but I'm worried that won't be enough. I've got many many problems, but I worry none of them on their own are severe enough to "count". They all combine to make my life hell, but alone I imagine they don't seem important.
>> No. 22990 [Edit]
Well, I definitely can't hold a job. I only ever had one job-ish thing, and that was helping a guy with tree-trimming. He let go of me after 4 days because I couldn't do the work and forgot a lot of things.

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22905 No. 22905 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Is there a way to start over in the year 2017?
I was daydreaming about moving to scandinavia and pretending to be a refugee. But they probably have a lot of controls in place
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>> No. 22916 [Edit]
this will be difficult to believe but I was having substance dependence problems and attacked someone with a knife in the street. My dad paid for a good lawyer who managed to change the label of the case from attempted murder to fighting in public so I didn't have to go to prison. even if I could get my record cleared it wouldn't really change anything. when I google my name the first results are news articles related to my case. one of them is a tv interview with the family of the man I stabbed complaining about the sentence. I can't get jobs or do anything because of this.

a few years ago I signed up for a college class, and when we got our first assignment and had to form groups, people in my group tried to find me in FB and found the articles. I had to leave the class after that

also I have a EU passport so I could move anywhere in Schengen. but there's no country in the EU that lets you to change your name as far as I know
>> No. 22917 [Edit]
Where are you from? Continent, at least.
>> No. 22918 [Edit]
>I have.
What country if you don't mind me asking.
I honestly don't know any 1st world country that will offer a work visa without a degree + job prospect or a shit ton of money or, if you don't have any of that, an employer willing to sponsor your visa (but good luck with getting a job in another country without a degree or visa).

>there's no country in the EU that lets you to change your name
Most countries will let their citizens change their name if they have a good reason. Not being able to move on and get employed or educated because of a mistake in the past seems like a valid reason.

The problem is the criminal record.

You really need to look into that, I know that in some European countries your crimes get cleared after you get sentenced or released from jail and a certain amount of time has passed.

Also, how common is your name and are there pictured with the articles that come up. You could just lie to employers/landlords/whatever and say it's just someone who has the same name.
>> No. 22919 [Edit]
I can say with some certainty that no one will bother googling your name if you want a shitty construction job in most European countries. If I was in your position (and wanted to work) I'd work as a labourer for a few months then try become an apprentice carpender or something after you get a good reference from working as a labourer.

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22216 No. 22216 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
How have you changed in the last three years?

I've grown less bitter and angry. Those feelings have been swallowed up by a kind of resignation where I find it too difficult to feel passionately about anything. I'm also just a bit more self aware than I was then.
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>> No. 22856 [Edit]
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I used to be much nicer towards people and making others happy used to make me happy. Now I'm cold, bitter, angry, jealous, and a mess of negative emotions that begs for death.
>> No. 22862 [Edit]
You're like the mom from Carrie.
>> No. 22923 [Edit]
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I don't even lurk tohno-chan as much any more.
>> No. 26824 [Edit]
Like other posters, I tried to be someone I'm not for the sake of trying to go along with being normal to cure my loneliness, but I found it intolerable and unrewarding. I eventually broke down and became desperate, making everything else in my life suffer for it.

I feel less lonely and more able to tolerate the other aspects of my life much better now with my waifu than I could when trying to be social with any 3D person.

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20868 No. 20868 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]
Post cute anime girls in this thread every time you think about killing yourself
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>> No. 22992 [Edit]
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>> No. 23028 [Edit]
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>> No. 23032 [Edit]
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>> No. 23036 [Edit]
Don't know if you're still here but
>Come on. What about life then? Following your stance, after growing up people should be thrown out of home because living with parents is too lazy. Only overcoming difficulties shows whether you really want and to live or not. So, yeah.
I wasn't implying anything like that in my post. And it surprised me a little that you thought I was.
You can't undo suicide. Almost all decisions you consider a mistake in retrospect you can try to fix at least somewhat, you can't do the same after you've killed yourself (I think most beliefs agree here).
I was responding to a post about assisted suicide, which is other people helping someone to do exactly that one choice he can't undo. Which is, regardless if they're really trying to help that person, really irresponsible, since they can never know, if that person really wanted to die or not. Only the person themselves know and I'd argue they only know themselves the moment they try do it.
You probably have already tried to kill yourself, so you should know how hard it is. Have you thought about why? What exactly went through your head the moment you tried to do it? Why couldn't you do it? As opposed to a lot of people (who say it's only cowards who do it) I'd argue killing yourself is the most difficult action to go through with and takes a lot of courage exactly because you're ending your existence (as you know it) and it's the only thing you can't go back on. So you have to really think hard about if you really want it or not (unless it's completely on impulse of course but I already said what I think about that, you can't say they really wanted it since they didn't think at all during the action).

I did not say that assisted suicide shouldn't be allowed because it's lazy. And I don't think people should be thrown out of their home. The parents took up a responsibility when they decided on getting a child (or at least not aborting it), of course I'm not saying that that responsibility extends infinitely. Throwing out your child can be justified
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22673 No. 22673 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Have you ever experienced a kind of wave of negative emotions where you realize that you are eternally, utterly alone in the universe and that nothing will ever change that?
4 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 22678 [Edit]
Of course. I just try to reassure myself that I can somehow deal with it and try my hardest to hold onto that feeling, otherwise I end up breaking down and crying those feelings away.
>> No. 22679 [Edit]
It doesn't bother me as much as the fact that I'm surrounded by a world full of humans, supposedly like me but I can feel no connection to whatsoever. It questions the very essence of your existence.
>> No. 22680 [Edit]
It's strange, infinity and eternity bothered me when I was a child, I would cry myself to sleep at night thinking about how neither ending my existence nor living forever appealed to me. But right now, the idea of infinity just feels like endless opportunity to me, and I don't really mind either living forever or dying tomorrow. I have my waifu, so I do not feel alone. And besides, I've been talking to myself in my head since I was a kid, I'm very much adjusted to myself being my only company. It's a funny realization to make, but if you talk to yourself, you'll never feel lonely. Maybe I'm insane, but I'm too far gone to realize it or care if I am.
>> No. 22681 [Edit]
I don't yearn for company and I've always talked to myself a lot too, I think it helps.

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22602 No. 22602 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
I thought I was doing well for myself for a few months, but I once again hit a low. It's like a seesaw of going from normal to depressed. Can anyone else relate?
2 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 22605 [Edit]
That's life for ya.
>> No. 22606 [Edit]
I have that too. I swing between good and bad fairly regularly but I'm not good at letting it out and it stays inside and festers. Then maybe once or twice per year I have a meltdown where depending on the severity I can be completely non-functional for anywhere from a few hours to my longest one lasting a week.

I'd honestly prefer to just be depressed all the time to this. At least then I'd know what to expect instead of wondering if I'm going to feel okay when I next wake up, or if It'll be one of those days where I need a few hours to build up hunger pains to motivate myself to get out of bed.
>> No. 22643 [Edit]
I thought I was coming out of my depression and I was worried because I've been this way since I was a kid, so finding who I was without it is kind of scary, I found myself wanting to go back to when things were less confusing and I could just be sad. Well they say be careful what you wish for because now it's back and with the added bonus of insomnia. So I guess it is normal
>> No. 22644 [Edit]
I definitely know what that's like. It was weird to not feel sad at all when I'm so used to it and feel that I deserve it.

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22575 No. 22575 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
I just want to lay around doing nothing, maybe sleep all day or something like that. I can't though. I have a little voice in me that wont shut up and keeps telling me to do something productive. I'm always working on one thing or another. There's always something to clean or fix or improve, and it stresses me out whenever I'm sitting still for too long. I can't even watch anime without doing one or two other things at the same time. It kind of drives me nuts. I can't stop thinking about all the things I should be doing with my time, even now I feel like I'm wasting time by typing this when I could be working on a dozen other things. I wish I didn't have to feel like this all the time. I wish I could just do nothing and not feel guilty about it.
5 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 22583 [Edit]
I'm the same way but I'm fine with it. It's great to keep reaching for higher heights, quite enjoyable. Given you have to enjoy the process of reaching said heights more than getting to the heights themselves or you'll get into trouble.

People like us need to be careful because we're prone to being taken advantage of. If life is game theory we play the cooperate card too much. People notice and we're easy prey to rack up points on.

Altruism is a lie; an elaborate mechanism of human parasitism. All humans are parasites. The defective humans, that is, the ones who aren't find themselves weeded out of the gene pool quite easily. And if they aren't they find themselves attached to a mate that doesn't give a shit about them. You're "a great guy" because you put up with their bullshit, you let them do whatever they want. You get the point. If you don't fight back, you don't compete, you're on the chopping block. Both literally and figuratively.

The only solution for people like us is to intentionally cultivate selfishness and narcissism. Otherwise people just take, and take, and take. Until you're drained of all drive, all love of life. And they lack the soul to even realize what they've done.
>> No. 22584 [Edit]
>I do that with crappy anime. The worse it is the less attention I pay to it.
Why would you watch it if you don't like it?

>as long as you can still hear what they're saying anyway.
You mean you can understand Japanese?
>> No. 22585 [Edit]
Well, my computer is pretty slow so I cannot do other things while anime is on, not that I would if I could.

If you set madVR to max settings then maybe it will take all the resources of your computer, disabling you to do other things and thus forcing you to only watch.
>> No. 22586 [Edit]
>Why would you watch it if you don't like it?
Well like I said the less I like it the less I watch it. If I really don't like it then I just drop it.
As for why at all. It can help pass the time even if you're not looking directly at it.

>You mean you can understand Japanese?
A little. Enough to have a basic understanding of what's going on and follow along a bit.

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