>>25993
I haven't but at some point I started to plan it, carbon dioxide was the method I was thinking of since I noticed how when you think seriously about killing yourself (like not fantasizing or anything, just seriously thinking about it) some methods cause a severe mental rejection, I couldn't just shoot myself or something bloody (but effective) like that, I found I needed something slow and clean.

>>25993
at first I wanted to fly to the US and buy a shotgun at a gun show or off craig's list to shoot myself in the head with, since from my research that seemed to be the most reliable way out. I eventually concluded that it was too big a risk because I didn't have enough money to travel back to Europe in case buying a gun in the US isn't as easy as the mass media would have me believe.

Plan B was to go to Scandinavia or Siberia and just keep walking north until I die of either thirst, hunger, or most probably hypothermia. I settled for Scandinavia because I didn't want to risk Russian border guards kicking me out.

I was at the train station, waiting for the first train on my journey to Malmö, when I got a call informing me that an employer I had previously contacted was interested in giving me the comfy, interesting and reasonably well-paying job I had applied for.

I decided to take up the offer, and by the time it became clear that the whole business didn't pan out as I had hoped, the weather was already too warm and the days in Scandinavia too long to go back to my suicide plan.

>>26015
Hypothermia is an option I've strongly considered along with hanging and to a lesser extent jumping. Ideally I'd like to do it in the wild, somewhere where my body won't be found but I've read that hypothermia isn't a very effective method and as for hanging you'd need something to anchor the ligature to.

>>26371
I gravitate towards that too. Another nice thing about it is the plausible deniability, there is no way to prove for certain that it was suicide.

>>25993
I've never made an attempt. When I do eventually kill myself I'm not going to fail, it's pretty easy to end your life with a little research and following the proper steps. Hanging, slitting your wrists, a big jump, or for americans, a gun, are all pretty foolproof.

>>26373
Nothing is foolproof because there's always margin for error (e.g. your equipment malfunctions). But hanging and slitting wrists seem like pretty miserable ways to go since they take a longer time and you'd probably be in physical pain for that duration.

>>26374
I figure the sure way is better than the comfortable way. After all, the point is to stop being alive. I don't want to risk surviving, and if you actually make sure the support, drop distance, knot, etc is right, then you pretty much can't fail. Most botched suicides are due to poor planning or lack of real desire to die.

I'm sorry to all of you who feel this way for how horrible the world can be. I'll miss you and think about you.

>>26373
>slitting your wrists
this method is highly ineffective, suicide attempts by cutting have a 2% mortality rate, due to the amount of pain tolerance you need in order to cut deep enough to die, the only thing you'll most likely accomplish is ending up in the hospital and looney bin

>>26373
You would be surprised to learn that none of these are actually foolproof at all, and with a little mistake or bad luck you could end up just getting hospitalized for your life in a way or another. Also what >>28617 and >>26374 wrote.

i ran away from home about a year ago, hopped in a bus to the city from my rural hometown because i didn't want to "die in this shithole", and got off at the last station (which was the city's train station) then wandered aimlessly southwards for a few hours, it's a port city and i had this weird obsession with "seeing the sea before i die" but it was too far away to reach by foot and i had no money on me to take an inner city bus, i wanted to die by jumping but it was difficult finding a suitable jumping spot, i had settled for an overpass under which were a national road and train rails, so i sat on a bench in a park nearby the whole night like a homeless person, trying to decide whether i want commit suicide via train or jumping the entire time, it was a very peaceful experience
i eventually tried to jump off the overpass but couldn't find the courage to do it (i was also afraid of surviving since the distance wasn't high enough for guaranteed lethality), so i turned my phone on which had been turned off for hours and almost out of battery, my mother contacted me and sent her husband to pick me up, he drove me to their home and i spent a few days over at their place, she offered me to stay permanently and it was a better environment to live in than with my father (even though my mother is just as terrible of a person, she's far more stable financially), but unfortunately her 5 year old son is a poorly raised spoiled little rat psychopath who loves driving everyone around him insane, so ultimately i got fed up and left impulsively which was probably a grave mistake in retrospect, when i came home my narcissist father instantly started victimizing himself but also offered to buy me a gaming PC (probably trying to bribe me to not do anything of the sort again), i've always wanted to build myself a PC but my mind was in such a terrible state of cognitive impairment that i was afraid i'd mess it up, so i settled for a laptop instead
noone knows that i had the intention to commit suicide that night and i don't think they really care, fortunately there's this abandoned hotel located closely to my home, strangely in that moment the existence of this place eluded my consciousness and for some reason i did not consider it as the clearly more viable option for suicide since it's easily tall enough to kill and accessible at all times, if i ever need to commit suicide (which is most likely going to happen) all of my personal data is stored on an external HDD which i can simply hide, i will be like a ghost walking out this world without a trace

Post edited on 8th Jan 2024, 12:33pm

>>28664
>all of my personal data is stored on an external HDD which i can simply hide
You should use some full-disk encryption mechanism, that way it doesn't matter if you hide it or not.

>>28665
Not him but I think hiding does matter, if it's found people will be curious what's on it, and the contents are encrypted you might be questioned about it's contents. If authorities are involved they can potentially make you tell them how to unlock it by court order. You might not have anything to hide but the act of hiding/encryption makes it seem like you do. I think it's better to avoid that all together by keeping it where no one will ever find it.

>>28665
>>28666
even if it gets found (which is improbable in the first place) i won't be alive by the time it happens, although i'll most likely do both just to be guaranteed

Post edited on 9th Jan 2024, 12:15pm

had a friend who tried to kill himself with pills, he ended up in the hospital and they wouldn't let him go saying to his face "once you enter the hospital you don't have any freedom". he had to spend 2 weeks in the bin and almost got aids from a crazy guy spitting everywhere. after that i was more scared of what happens if i fail the suicide.

>>28668
Many who try it don't end up that lucky. As bad as that would be, there are many who try suicide and leave themselves physically and mentally scared for life. Imagine being partially paralyzed after a failed attempt, or having some form of brain damage that leaves you a prisoner in your own head.

When I first read ¨No Longer Human¨ the main character describes having a stomachache after a failed suicide attempt by overdose. When I looked it up, I found that it had a very low success rate. That book led me to the same conclusion of being scared of the consequences if I fail.
People in this thread advised against hanging and slitting your wrists before and I'm going to advise against trying overdosing for those who might read this.
I'm more a fan of slow deaths than romantic ones, so I'd drink more alcohol and smoke more often if I started to have serious and frequent suicidal thoughts again.

Post edited on 9th Jan 2024, 5:22am

>>28671
some say that taking the vaccine gives you death in 10 years.

>>28672
I doubt those people are time travelers or doctors.

>>28664
I love the art you posted, and also the story, it sounds like something I would have done.

It calms me down to read about others dealing with this because obviously I can't really talk about in real life.
I don't think I'd be able to jump, I've dreamed about it before but I'd be too scared probably, I mean almost every way to do it either requires balls of steel or a level of preparation that if I had the energy to do, I would be able to live a satisfying life anyway.
I've read about the "night-night" method which basically means headlocking yourself with some sandbags which sounds easy enough but in the end also requires the willpower to choke myself. Fasting myself to death like determined monks would also be a romantic option, though this apparently can also take weeks depending on metabolism and again the willpower that I definitely don't have. Partial hanging or hypothermia sounds doable, maybe going on a trip to Japan and disappearing in a forest if I don't change my mind until then.
I'd prefer going missing so people I know won't have to live with the knowledge about my passing. Not that I know many people in the first place, I barely know my family anymore as I left that place a long time ago, so disappearing wouldn't be too suspicious, but still I don't want to burden others in that way.

I've never been hospitalized, but I have done experiments. In my research, for overdose, I've found that Nembutal+Metoclopramide or Fentanyl were the most ideal options in terms of exiting painlessly. I remember reading about Sodium Nitrite before the law was changed, and the thing that put me off of it was that it causes tachycardia, which causes your heart to beat like a motherfucker. The other good substance I read about was sodium azide, which is found in old car airbags, which seemed like a better option than Sodium Nitrite. Shotgun was also another good option. I never realized how inexpensive shotguns were where I lived. I think it's like 300$ for one, which isn't too bad for a one-way Gensokyo ticket. But, I wouldn't want the clean up to be horrendous. I'd hate for someone to have to deal with that mess. The other option was partial suspension. The thing that ruled that out for me was the potential of having the noose becoming undone when your body is unconscious and flailing. The risk for brain damage seems a bit much. Two other options I explored were ratchet straps and tourniquets. The former idea sounded good, but there's not enough information/research to show that this is a viable method. The tourniquet also has the same issue that partial suspension has. Then, there was the charcoal method. This one didn't seem bad, but it required more resources and time than other methods. The main thing seemed to be getting the concentration of carbon dioxide high enough to be able to go peacefully. In the end, when I do finally decide to go to Gensokyo, I know it'll be by full-suspension hanging. It has a high success rate, it's a well documented method, which makes it easier to find information on it and pictures of past suicide cases to reference from. In addition, it is not as difficult to pull off (provided you are not trying to do a drop hanging,) and it does not require many resources. When I did my experiments, I was trying to find the proper location for the knot on my neck based on my individual anatomy. During these tests, there were moments where things started to go black, but I was able to pull myself out of it, and there was not a significant level of pain nor discomfort aside from the pressure on my neck. The main thing was ensuring that the pressure was not distributed on the trachea (throat) and ensuring that the carotid arteries were compressed while the jugular veins were not. When the latter were compressed (I did this both with my hands first and then the rope,) I felt an intense uncomfortable sense of pressure in my head, like it was about to explode, and my ears started to ring. But uh, I'm still kicking, and I don't have any plans to go soon, but if things get to be to bad, then I know there's always a way out.

As someone who has attempted to seppuku and nearly succeeded, I will never attempt to seppuku again.
I want to live.

>>28769 I have had the same effects testing full weight suspension, and as a matter of fact the sole thing that keeps me from using this method is the sight you leave behind. I think a shotgun to the head and the mess that goes with it would be more dignified than a stiff, tongue-out awkward fat doll hanging by some cord. This is just some idiosyncratic aesthetic preference more than anything but still. The jugulars part about neck related things feel like a hassle to figure out anyway, just not to suffer suffocation.
I'd like this year to be my last and I feel happy about this possibility, I think this time I will be taking a shortcut and go straight for whatever 'medicine' (the ideal options) is available via 'un-mainstream' supply lines.

>>28771 There is a possibility you are writing this after a recent event, in my experience this grateful-for-life emotion fades away rather rapidly, but there is a more important thing I feel like saying; life/death are the same thing, they are not in opposition, they are co-dependent and intertwined and ouroboros yada, anyway it's something to keep in mind. The opposite of life would be complete utter void which is hardly attainable since nothing can be destroyed proper.

>There is a possibility you are writing this after a recent event
that was 9 months ago

>>28774
>I think a shotgun to the head and the mess that goes with it would be more dignified than a stiff, tongue-out awkward fat doll hanging by some cord.
I think I can see what you mean by that. I've seen images where people have had their brains blown out, and it almost looks like their head peels outwards blood-red like a flower, and it is an interesting yet intimate sight.
>The jugulars part about neck related things feel like a hassle to figure out anyway, just not to suffer suffocation.
It honestly wasn't that bad for me. It was just testing things until it felt "right." Honestly, I had so much fun researching suicide that it made me no longer suicidal. There are so many viable methods to choose from, and I think I could possibly become a suicide otaku.

>>26371
Hypothermia has some attraction for me as it relies on weather patterns; I admire the elegence of traversing a certain place in which death will follow. The only preperation that I believe is necessary is a bottle of liquor to counteract the effect of freezing on the nerves.
Unfortunately it is not a popular method and so there is little information that I have found on the specifics. More popular methods have done little to satisfy me so far though. I cannot rely on projectiles because guns are illegal in the state in which I happen to find myself imprisoned in. The preparations needed for hanging has so far kept me from researching further. Carbon monoxide requires an enclosed space to perform properly; and under the property laws that the people have sen fit to enact this method would likely be interrupted before its completion (besides which it harms my sense of aesthetics to leave my body in such a conspicuous location; it is far more alluring to disappear entirely from the sight of my tormentors).

Or else one must rely on a cocktail of substances of various states of legality. The method of Sodium Nitrite that has gained much popularity recently requires a dispensation from a medical authority, granted only upon the confession of a "legitimate" condition. It is here that my interest waned in this method. I refuse to make up comforting stories in order to entertain the theological delusions of the masses.

This is certainly a very difficult pursuit, and I have only devoted a minute amount of time to consider it over the last 4 years. How much longer do I have before I am forced to retreat permanently?

>>25993
I have indeed.It is kind of embarrassing,but one day i lost it and i tried to get out in the middle of the road,hoping that a car would run me over. Luckily i was not successful. My parents checked me into a mental hospital of sorts and i recovered a little bit. Something happened in my life that disrupted it and i wanted everything to go back to normal,but i learned that life really doesn't have a restart button,no matter how badly you want it to. Sometimes you wish you could just restart life but you really can't,yknow?

I tried hanging myself when I was ~10 years old. My mother "saved" me. It's a really unpleasant experience not being able to breath.
Nowadays I think about hanging a lot. I think I should hang myself. There's nothing I can do with this life anymore. But I'm afraid something might go wrong. Everything I do goes wrong anyways. I'm afraid I might survive and become a vegetable or something.

>>29353
>But I still can't manage to make myself pass out and it's driving me nuts.
In what way? With your hands or another implement? If you're trying with your hands, then it won't work.
>The pressure required to obstruct various neck vessels has been reported as:
>Carotid arteries (2.5 – 10kg, or 250mmHg), a scenario not normally seen in manual strangulation (Puschel et al 2004)
[1] https://archive.fo/EYVxQ#selection-951.0-965.116

>>28769
Why do you prefer full suspension hanging over partial suspension?

>>29468
I already elaborated the reason in my post.
>The other option was partial suspension. The thing that ruled that out for me was the potential of having the noose becoming undone when your body is unconscious and flailing. The risk for brain damage seems a bit much.
But, I guess another reason is that it feels like there's a lot more information out there related to full suspension hanging than partial suspension hanging, making it easier to do research. Furthermore, you have more weight on your neck in full suspension compared to partial suspension, making it possibly a more reliable method.

>Have you ever tried to kill yourself?
Yes.

>What method(s) did you use?
>If you made multiple attempts, how many?
I don't remember exactly, because I was acutely psychotic at the time and every memory from that time feels blurred if not blank. But as far as I can remember it was:
1. Pills, but actually I wanted to jump off a bridge, but because of the pills, I collapsed before I could get to the bridge, so nothing really happened.
2. Hanging
3. Strangulation in the hospital bathroom

>What pushed or keeps pushing you over that edge?
I was suffering from schizophrenic psychosis badly and felt like the only way out of the horrors that I thought were real, was to kill myself.

>How did you feel when you woke up in the hospital or each time it happens?
I never was unconscious, so I can't really say, but I had to go to a psych ward each time where I then stayed for months.

>Did life change for you in any way at all, for better or for worse?
It didn't change at the time, I was very suicidal even after my attempts and that continued for years after that, but slowly anti-psychotics helped and I felt better. I'd say I'm good these days, I'm still somewhat unhappy, apathetic and whatnot, but compared to how I felt when I was having psychosis, it's much better, and I think you always compare your own suffering to what you already know and are accustomed to, so from somebody else perspective, I might still be very depressed, but it used to be much worse, so I'm glad how things are now.

>How did others around you feel, if you had anyone?
My mother heard of the first and second attempt. She was very shocked and didn't want to believe it (I still think she doesn't to this day, despite it being an obvious thing). I never really talked about it much with her and I still don't want to, as I don't feel comfortable talking about this with my mother, so I'm not really in the know what she felt like exactly.

>What other experiences do you have related to it?
I don't know.