I've also had the mutism spell casted on me.
Too many bad social experiences conditions you to avoid socializing, to lessen the pain in a way.

I don't like leaving the house much, but i'll try to aim for a 30 min walk daily to stay sharp.

I can't help you much, as I too need assistance.
Ganbare !

I don't have mutism but i do have a speech impediment that people would make fun of me for. it made me not want to speak for a long time, and i remember taking speech training to help me work on it but i was stubborn and didn't listen most of the time. that was a big regret cause now that i have a job my co-workers are expecting me to talk more. what i was taught was speak slowly and take your time, people are more patient then you think.

>what other people even want from me
Depends on context. Often "Yes, that's cool" is all they want.
>I'm afraid to push boundaries
What boundaries?
>saying nothing is also wrong
Silence is the always winning strategy as long as you're not deaf.
> When they're nice to me I assume they're lying
Don't assume anything.
>When they're cruel it seems like they're being honest.
Let nothing seem to you.
>Their love has always been fake
Wrong.
>their hate is real
Wrong. Their emotions are context driven and can't be considered either real or not. You can't reliably identify when they are faking or not. It's the same as with being sometimes upset and sometimes glad. It's just there and means nothing.
>I have a fear of being seen

Message too long. Click here to view the full text.

Maybe some more modern philosophies as well, if there are any that bother to descend down on earth and find a way to live happy life without having to explain foundations of the world and nature of knowledge nobody gives a fuck about. Maybe also look into Cynicism for some ideas, but you'll never achieve that fully either. Generally speaking any philosophy that doesn't concern itself with what they call Eudaimonia is a worthless waste of time. And even those that do are still a waste of time most of the time. For example you never realize how much of a scam is Epicureans philosophy until you wake up in a war devastated shithole with no hope of future or anything.

Don't know if this belongs here, but I have tried to use forums again. One overstepped my boundaries heavily despite being a dead site and also refused to delete posts of mine. The other one is based in an age group that I have desperately tried to mimic since my preteens but even as a young adult I fail. It all makes me feel more and more like a child. It makes me want to sleep through this decade and nothing more.
>>28892
I think people have also become less compassionate, then again I'm not exactly experienced enough to say "things have always been that way" when they probably haven't. I've had to slowly accept times changing but it's just straight up bitter. There doesn't seem to be any sweetness in this day and age at all...

It all is just screaming into a bottle. You get your lungs overworked and never make a sound. Better just stop breathing at all and maintain boycott.

>>29040
>Better just stop breathing at all and maintain boycott.
Can you elaborate on what this actually means??

>>29042
Sure.

>>23048
that sounds good, i'll will read that one

>>22436
I talk to my waifu, cuddle with her, buy/set up/pose figures of her, look at pictures of her, and sometimes talk about her or post pictures of her online.

I started watching a show with her (cuddling with her daki while I watch), and I was thinking of taking a small figure of her out into nature sometime so we can enjoy it together.

Occasionally I find a new show, movie, or game that I can enjoy, or I can enjoy re-watching a show or movie I haven't watched in a long time.

Occasionally I play a musical instrument but I don't practice seriously because it starts to hurt after awhile. So it's like I'm roleplaying being a musician by fiddling around.

And of course mindless web browsing and occasional posting.

Browse imageboards, it does make me feel less lonely. Listen to music, and sleep. Sleep is the best escapism though. I wish I could sleep forever and never wake up.

>>22436
I write a lot and listen to music,play the occasional video game. Existence can be quite overwhelming sometimes,so it is good to have distractions

I started visiting here when I was 18. I'm 31 now. I haven't gotten better. I'm just depressed all the time. I haven't achieved consistent employment and media is no longer fun to consume.

>>28406
Where do you hangout? Lolicon is controversial sure but if you're not like on social media it's mostly just ribbing and I've not ever seen anyone offended for being not attracted to 3D.

>>28415
You're not a good person for doubting them in the first place.
>>28422
>The work probably felt like play to them, and it was probably fairly effortless, but to a person of a different disposition they wouldn't even know where to start.
That's precisely what there is to be most resentful about. All work is drudgery.
>>28658
I don't know what he's talking about. I watched a pro-loli subreddit grow from a couple thousand to the tens of thousands while still managing to fly under the radar and not be banned.

>>28657
This word for word including age.

Alas, my mutuals would tremble in my awesome presence.
It's a lonely path on which I walk.

>>28564
No. I think I would see them as the same normal people I interact everyday. The internet kinda makes possible the illusion of talking with similar creatures as yourself (only sometimes, not even that often) but that fantasy would disappear IRL. In the end, if normal people finds you disgusting it's very probable the not-so normal people will find you disgusting too.

>>28564
I've always been too weird for normal people and too normal for weird people. I think I'd seem too normal if I were to meet people from here, even though we might be in the same predicament in real life.

Probably, but I figure there will be an underlying sense of mental illness keeping me from becoming truly close with someone.

Yeah and my thread gets deleted I've been longer than you dorks but anyways I truly do wish y'all happy winter. Winter is personally my fav time of the year.
testing if 'jak gets deleted even if it's a legitmate post

Whoa mod deleted xe/xers post I'm sorry.
Seems tohno-Lad is still keeping this board locked downed whih means no fun allowed

>>28609
>no fun allowed
why are you replying to yourself?

>>28589
>don't even bother looking at places "discussing" tsukihime for instance
I'm sorry this thread is a bit older, but it was linked in the other thread so I had to reply since I relate so much to this post. I have had the very unfortunate experience of getting into Melty Blood and downloading Tsukihime in 2019, actually playing the VN in 2020, and then due to very rough events I forgot about Tsukihime up until they had announced the remake. By that point, I hadn't finished the VN at all, and the fanbase went from one of the most dead peaceful TN fanbases to probably being second worst next to FGO. I haven't touched the fanbase in years, and it's sad to think that while I was reading it my biggest fear of it becoming twitter bait sadly came true. I mean it is a Type-Moon thing after all, combined with the fact that shitty remakes of games seem to attract the barely 18 discord/reddit/youtube trifecta for some odd reason.

>possessed by a persona
What do you mean by this? How are you defining the split between "us" and the "persona"? But yes you are basically a product of society and circumstance, and the notion of an independent free-willed mind is mostly a myth kept alive by the mind's own desire.

>>28576
>How are you defining the split between "us" and the "persona"?
That's what I'm asking.
If people can change their behaviour or their mind, doesn't that mean that is not really them?
Say someone was a nice person, but then he got alzheimers, lost all their memories and turned into a bad one.
Or a musician who lost their arms and can't play anymore
Or an artist who went blind.
What you are or what you do aren't really you, so what are you?
I don't really know.

>>28574
I wasn't really thinking about supernatural, but like you said, language and culture shape how we see the world.

Maybe it's like the "thing in itself" of Kant, as in, you can't really know yourself.

>>28582
I thought you meant a ¨persona¨, like a dualistic soul, but I think I get what you're saying now.
>If people can change their behaviour or their mind, doesn't that mean that is not really them?
Yes, I'd even say they can't change their behavior or adopt a persona by themselves. For example, if I decide to start drawing and call myself an artist, it's likely because I saw a nice anime art online. If I think of myself as a musician and learn to play the guitar, it's because I listened to a good song and wanted to play it myself.

The person with Alzheimer's, who used to be kind (by circumstance), isn't so different from me because we both changed due to circumstances, except his were biological and mine were more psychological. Going blind or losing my arms and having to drop those personalities wouldn't be in my control either.
Finding the reasons why me and others do what we do can be interesting.

>What you are or what you do aren't really you, so what are you? I don't really know.
Me neither and I don't think much about it. I'm not really into philosophy or pondering abstract things like this or the illusion of the self for my own sanity. I prefer to watch mugumogu's cat videos, it helps with overthinking because their lives are simple and I'm a living being on this rock just like them. Maybe.

>I thought you meant a ¨persona¨, like a dualistic soul, but I think I get what you're saying now.
Yeah I initially thought this as well, but after his clarification I think OPs question is closer to the infamous "nature vs. nurture" debate. While in terms of physical attributes (including mental abilities) genetics probably plays a decent role, I think when it gets to what defines our personality, the effect of society & circumstances you grew up in almost surely dominate. There is likely some base layer shared amongst all humans though, e.g. notions of selfishness, that are conserved instincts from more primitive roots.

You might be interested in looking up terms proximate to "collective unconscious".

Also I'll plug the anime Flip Flappers since the theme at its core is the interaction between perception, psyche, and (our view of) reality, and there's lots of good literature to read about this show.

>>28514
>Is anyone else in this situation, or has anyone else been?
Most of my life yeah.
>How do/did you deal with it?
First of all I try to care less and reduce human interaction as much as possible. Second, instead of being "nice" I try to appear as serious and cold as possible. It's better to be perceived as creepy since they're gonna detect something's off anyway. Of course all of this not always works so I plan to keep reducing human interaction to something as closer to 100% to achieve complete peace.

Vibes are a powerful thing. A lot of normies judge other people almost exclusively based on vibes. But it's not just normies to be honest. Certain subcultures can be pretty elitist and arrogant too.
I guess the best you can do to minimize your attack surface is hide your power level and copy other people's style.

If youre neurodivergent, yes, this is par for the course. The only real hard counter I have found to this becoming invaluable in whatever your field of choice may be and a great deal of self-love and self-compassion. Otherwise enjoy being run out of menial jobs or destitution.

John 15:18

>>28490
>some people really are happy?
Are they? On surveys using the Cantril Ladder method most people report between 5-7 out of 10 [1]. And this is probably inflated because one is more likely to remember extreme emotions; a week of mild unpleasantness might be subjectively weighed equally to a day of enjoyment.

I don't think most people are happy. If they were, then why do they always seek new experiences (the cliché of people traveling). I think it's more accurate to say that most people are always striving to fight off tedium/unhappiness.


[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:World_map_of_countries_by_World_Happiness_Report_score_(2023).svg

>>28493
I never said most. You know I didn't say most, yet you bring up surveys. Didn't put a question mark after happy either.

The reigning arrangement of the social system consists of rituals that I am forbidden to partake in, and as I cannot rely on this system I am developing a scientific occult aestheticism in order to replace it. As you can tell from the way I type, this technique requires that I act as a massive chuuni when the circumstances are conveniant. If there were any apocolyptic forces I would also unhesitatingly support these movements, but as it happens the people in their desires are gripped by a potent ontological conservatism. For now, all I can do is attempt to dodge the assimilation attempts until conditions become more favourable.

>>28493
What a useless philosophy. Pessimists try to enforce a feeling of universality among the human herd. They take the discontent of dissenters and try to pretend this discontent is felt by everyone, a notion that can be disproved simply by observing the normalfag's behavorial patterns. They are not the same as us.

>>28493
I'm happy, that much i need, some of us simply found our way of life and are happy traveling it, not everyone its this demented social media user that you imagine or the generic pessimistic that you find in sites like tohno.
Instead of bitching about other people you should just genuinely seek your own happiness, the moment i started focusing in my own happiness instead of judging others my life genuinely improved, you should do the same.

A digital facsimile of an abode

Tohno-chan

comfy imageboard

Used to be everyone on /r9k/ had an awareness of Wiz and TC

Been a NEET for 6 years and I don't regret it. I will never work in my whole life and that brings me joy. I'm slowly learning how to be happy with the small things and just take it easy. It's a rough journey and sometimes I wish I had more money, but I know for sure I would just waste it all in mundane and unhealthy stuff. So why should I care? I have a roof, a small but lovely collection of DVDs, manga, videogames and plushies. I don't need more from this Godforsaken Earth. I just need to keep focusing on living as comfortable and careless as possible.

>>28131
What you have is what I'm trying to achieve, and I've been wageslaving for the last decade at least. I'm telling you this not for other reason but making the point that yours is actually a great life and never let anyone tell you otherways.
About money... I felt like that a long time ago.
After a few years of wageslaving I just started caring less and less. Now I have more money than I ever had but the only thing that truly makes me feel better about having it is knowing it gets me closer to be free of wageslaving. I don't think any kind of consuming is worth sacrificing such an enormous portion of your life. Obviously I'm in the minority here and I wouldn't express such thoughts to anyone IRL.

>>27724
have you found that place? I'm still looking for something like this...

Wageslaving just isn't worth it. You're litteraly selling your life away one hour at a time, and for what? Most of my free time is spent just unwinding from work, by the time I can actually get involved in anything it's already time to go to bed and wake up to tomorrows nightmare. It's stressful and feels pointless. I make just over $1000 a month after expenses, but then last week I had $2000 in repairs on the car to get me to work. This life is a bad joke. I miss being a NEET. I used to explore so many hobbies, took up various arts and crafts, saw countless movies/anime and played too many games to name. I learned so much in those years. Now I barely have time for anything. I buy games I can't play and add anime I can't watch to my bucket list. Some would say I have "freedom" from my parents, but being a wage slave isn't freedom, in a lot of ways it's worse.