A few people I talk to online and that's pretty much it. I used to have a pretty good friend in high school so I do want more, but I'm kind of lazy to make the effort now and less people will seem to tolerate my weirdness here. That friend cut me off for good in the middle of 2015.

The memories were pretty good I'd say. If you can talk about anything with your friends, it's really like stepping into another world as silly as it sounds.

Constant disappointment. It's a few years (up to even 5 in my case) of bonding, fun and laughing together. Then they change and find other cliques to get into. I've been left in this dust to the point where I only have two, and I type to them daily about gripes, and they do the same to me. I'm hoping to god this isn't normal because otherwise I sympathize with a lot of people out there. Why is it so hard for people to stay the same? Why can't they be content with just one best friend? I'm sure I'll get over it soon enough.

>>22506
While I do think it is normal I don't think it applies to everybody. Though most probably do change if they get the chance to. I've had people undergo great changes and still stay the same, relatively speaking. Most people seem to change every so often, though. I think there's some craving for change within those people. It might be for the better not to be with them anyway, since they seem to want something else in their lives. The worst thing is that it can happen in an instant without warning. I guess that's my reasoning for not caring when someone successively starts cutting contact.

>>22506
>>22534
I mean, it's normal that people change.

>>22343
That'll do it. Bonus points for reading the comments normies leave on news articles.

>>22344
>Anyone with half a mind would be mad as hell and not be able to take it anymore.
Thanks Mr. Beale.

>>22329
Desire is an emotion.

>>22329
gore and CP
Not gonna lie, it is losing its sting a little. Be careful.

also the news, or drugs if you want anything at all and not just anger

When I used to I'd just refer to them as my cousin's friend if I ever had a story to tell about them. Otherwise, no I didn't specify it was my internet friend.

Depends on the person and situation. Some are more open to online friends than others and a lot of times there's no real need to specify so I don't.

On the occasion it's apt to mention they're online it's usually something along the lines of "A buddy of mine I game with out in [state/country]" then some reason why their location is relevant. Like "haha those crazy commies in cali".

All my friends are online though. I think at one point it used to bother my family but now they've just accepted it. People I have to associate with offline would probably find it weird if they found out but I don't think it'd come as too much a surprise to them.

I mention them in passing like "someone online I talk to said X" but never in more detail like what websites I go on or who they are. I think my friend thinks I go on 4chan mainly which is pretty amusing.
My father doesn't believe that I have friends online, he thinks you have to be face to face to really connect with someone. He said that I don't even know their real names so how can we be friends.
I remember he once told me he used to have a friend as a teenager that everyone just called by his nickname and he couldn't actually remember his real name and doesn't think anyone even knew it. So I don't think he gets it

The very few people offline I know consider my online hobbies extremely weird, for obvious reasons - being a disgusting weeb and failure at life.

As for online, I'm eager to socialize (IRC, namedfag forums) .. at first. But once the circlejerk gets too .. jerky, I flee. Hence the preference for anon boards.

Anybody with similiar abandonment issues?

eh, i'd be interested if you want to discuss books in irc or something. i'm not installing skype on my computer, that's been exploitable for a while

I'd be up for it.

I've read Ficciones, it's very good, and as a collection of short stories works well even if people haven't read the entire thing. Haven't heard of any of the others, but I'd give them a chance.

Why bother with Skype? We can just post in this thread, or maybe use IRC if people especially want real-time discussion.

>>22500
>>22501
I like the idea of real-time feedback, but I think it'd be slow and dead so a thread will probably suffice.

Do you have any preference on what book to read?

I'm down for using this thread too, too hard to coordinate a live chat. Always plenty of people that can't make it for one reason or another and we probably won't have too many people to begin with. Plus it helps keep the board a bit more active.

I don't really have a preference for which book to pick, they all look decent. Maybe throw up a poll or just use a random number generator to decide?

>>22211
I was not aware one was a high number.

>>22232
Ive seen at least two here

>>22238
I found that second one you might have been talking about but I didn't make that thread.

Read for an hour then sleep, hugging a pillow to my chest as i lay on my back listening to asmr videos on youtube

>>21932

I've had to readjust to regular contact with non-relatives. The only way to relearn this stuff is to expose yourself to it- force yourself to talk to people on Skype (or wherever else you can find people who want to talk) regularly.

it used to, i think it still does, not as bad as it used to
i tried but when you let people in you're bound to get hurt, i'll just occupy myself with things that can't hurt me, like drawing

It creeps up on me every now and then. I don't need or want friends, but I do want love - an absolute, perfectly compatible love with another person or thing. Someone with whom to stand, alone against all.

I know it's stupid and impossible, at least insofar as 3D is concerned. When I'm able to distract myself in a 2D fantasy though, at least I can feel some comfort.

I'm okay with it. It's also absolutely gut wrenching to think that I'll never meet the girl from my dreams. I can't really explain it.

>>22391
It's like you're describing my entire NEET life.

I guess a weird irony is that as humans become more powerful, they also become less free. So many are controlled by the need for "progress" and to stay in line. Even thoughts seem to be clouded by self-deception. There are existential philosophies that believe that we are possible of being authentic though, but I don't think attempting that brings "contentness".

>It's also been my understanding that the more people seem to know about the world the worse they feel about it
>where as those who live in ignorance do so blissfully.
Ah, the way it has been for many thousand years.
'For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.'
I've seen it personally. Not a ignorance that annoys but a innocent ignorance. Makes you lament all that effort wasted into seeking knowledge.

>It stands to reason that someone might feel bad for not having x or y or z if they see other people have it and believe it improves their life or makes them happy...
Dawkins' explains the spreading of these cultural ideas, such as being rich is the meaning to life, as 'memes'. A person gets 'infected' with these memes, it becomes his meaning to life, and then infect others to think the same. The reason being, for the latter, is: if the people around him don't think the same then it calls into question his very reason to exist. This happens without them knowing; the dissolute avoid confronting such issues.
Capitalism benefits greatly from these people.

>>22383
holy crap that image is cute

I love you anon.

>>22330
Welcome to the rest of your life.

Learn to appreciate yourself, regardless if others do or not.

What makes you think you're so selfish?

>>22375
>Suicide results when someone determines that their life absolutely will not get any better, but I can't really understand that way of thinking.
>As long as you're alive good things will happen.
It's not that good things can't happen, it's also that your life can be so shitty the negative things overwhelm the little positivity you may have left. It's not that simple.

Ye,
half a year after I changed school in 11th grade.
I was sick at that time and we assumed that it might be scarlet, since it was passing around the city it that time.
He was the only person in the school, I could feel fine around with, without any signs of being annoyed or aggressive.
From what I've heard he did it after a girl ended her relationship with, he also said things like "I wouldn't mind if a car ran me over", before he did it.
My father drove me to his funeral, but while I was there he and my brother went to a hardware store, so I had to wait for them for half an hour after the funeral.
Then, on the way home they wanted me to tag along in a big store for instruments, although I simply wanted to sleep.
My sister also asked me a few times, if I was also planning on a suicide.
I don't think alot about it nowadays, but sometimes I still wonder what my life would be like, if he was still alive.

My friend in high school killed himself a few days before Christmas. Saw him two days before he did it and he seemed fine. Had complete assholes for parents, though. They were barely upset at all at the funeral and got annoyed at his younger siblings for crying and embarrassing them. Apparently he had gotten into a fight with them and then went into the basement and hung himself. Still wonder to this day if it was really a suicide...

>>22374
That's incredibly unfair of your mother man.

>>22095
I think I got it here. Did you also make some old guy with a swastika torso? I kinda like her smug smile.
>>22098
It's a partial upload of a book on suicide methods. Not encouraging it, just something some of us might find interesting.

>>22100

Yeah, I did make that! That was actually a self-caricature of what I'd be in twenty years.

I actually posted the other pic on another site (not an imageboard) and no one liked it. But I'm glad that someone else does. I guess that I should make more of them; it has been a while.

I've already thrown out or sold most things I own. All I've got left of any value is my pc and old pokemon cards.

I will leave my best shows, movies, e-books, etc on an external drive. Things I'd share with my family or show my children if I had any. Things like Ghibli, Shinkai Makoto, GitS, Carl Sagan's Cosmos/books, beautiful photos and artwork. All my porn will be on an encrypted drive that I will bury somewhere. Why? I can't bring myself to delete it, I get this stupid sense of accomplishment from finding, sorting, and keeping a collection of good fap material.

My clothes will likely be donated to charity. My relatives are superstitious, they think clothes I've worn will bring bad luck. As for my other stuff, I hope they will benefit my sister or anyone. My sister gets the small amount of neet-bux money I've saved over the years. She is the only one to really bother with me, even though she has her own life.

>>22304
I'm not even entirely sure how long I sleep for on average. I stay in bed for around 10 hours but at least 3 of those I spend on my laptop and I lay awake for what seems like hours.
Maybe I only sleep 3 hours or something ridiculous like that, it would explain why I feel so shitty.

I am this way too due to delayed sleep phase disorder. If I set several very loud alarms to go off at once I can wake up, but my body is freezing cold and I'll shake like mad, even throw up sometimes. Back in high school I could pull off 5 or 6 as well, it started around 18.

>>22326
Sounds awfully similar to how I am.

When I said I sleep through alarms, it's a bit more complicated. I set multiple at different times; the first one often I hear, physically get up and turn it off then go straight back to bed; the second one I either sleep through without hearing, hear it and leave it ringing until it turns itself off or get up and turn it off and go back to bed, and the third is the same as the second.

I am also always cold when I wake up, even in warm Springs and hot Summers, and that being one of the reasons I don't want to get out of bed. Sometimes I do shake but I am kind of conscious of it, like, I do it to warm up my body.
Never vomited though.

It also started around 18 for me but this is when I became NEET so I've been assuming going to bed at 6a.m. and not being able to psychically wake up was because of the NEET lifestyle.

I get about 8-9 hours of sleep a day. Any less than that and I feel like shit.

Because my body won't let me sleep until I'm dead tired, my sleep schedule is all over the place and generally pretty fucked though.