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File 146033760810.jpg - (149.94KB , 957x960 , my bday every year.jpg )
21653 No. 21653 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Describe both the worst birthday you ever had and the best one.
>> No. 21659 [Edit]
Worst one was my 7th because my friend invited the whole class and they trashed my stuff. Best was my 18th because it was the first time I got drunk which was pretty euphoric.
>> No. 21681 [Edit]
Best was probably a party I had when I was like 2 or 3, since there were friends. Worst was pretty much every birthday since my 9th birthday, since that's when I started not having friends (aside from usual social group I was forced to be with on a couple occasions until I moved again).

Right now, Birthdays are really just another excuse for me to beg my family to go out to eat.
>> No. 21706 [Edit]
I only remember of having one birthday party when I was 5 or 6. There are some pictures of it, but I don't really remember anything about it, or of my childhood, it was dull and had nothing really memorable

Later on at adolescence it simple lost it importance, it just was another day who I waked up, looked at the computer time and thought "oh, today's my birthday, cool" and so it is to this day. I don't remember hearing a happy birthday in some good 8 years or more
>> No. 21707 [Edit]
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I don't have a worst birthday, but I didn't really have any parties. The last one was when I was 14 (I'm 32 now, so that was over half my life ago). Three people came, and that was good, but I'm not friends with any of them now.

I do have a sad story for someone else, though. It was a girl who was seven years younger than me, and was diagnosed autistic at the time. She had her 14th birthday party, and no one came. That is really traumatic, especially for a girl. She was very pretty then, too. Now she's almost 25 and looks and acts like a druggie, drunk dumbass. She does have some friends now, though, although they never seem to last long.

I guess that the best one that I had was when I went to Nashville on my own and walked around downtown when I was 26. I went into a museum and saw works by Hans Bellmer, one of my favorite artists. It was pretty nice, although my advisor thought that it was odd that I went on my own.

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21481 No. 21481 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
What is your main complaint about your life, and what are you doing to fix it.

If the answer is "nothing" then why?
9 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 21642 [Edit]
i know what you mean. it never comes back.
>> No. 21644 [Edit]
File 146022462933.jpg - (84.81KB , 590x821 , life.jpg )
My main complaint about life is that I'm going bald (I'm very vain). I can't truly do anything to fix it, because science just isn't on my level quite yet, but the universe obliterates all evidence of my baldness in the future anyway. I know I can shave it but I'm not quite ready to be a shaved head sex pervert for the rest of my life.

Everything is defined by the preferences of others. Living became something I am able to do thanks to this conclusion, because I do not want to agree with it, therefore I try not to let the preferences of others dictate how I feel, what I do. It's hard not to when I leave the house and perceive other people treat me differently based on my appearance. It's very difficult, but possible, because I know those preferences are caused by mass media (dictating standards of beauty to the public) and mass media should have no real control in the tangible. It does, though (even on my end, obviously), and that's where issues begin but I've written too much for /tc/.

Remember that there is no action, no thought, no wisdom where you are going, and the days of darkness ahead of you are uncountable, as opposed to the days of life. Mulling that over should be enough cause to make the changes you want to.
>> No. 21698 [Edit]

I'm the same. Vain and balding. Just keep it cut short and grow a 5 day shadow/beard. Hit the gym and dress well. The rest will follow.

Here's a song about (not) accepting it:
>> No. 21701 [Edit]
fixing it means you should ultimately become emotionless robot/zombie that shouldn't complain anything a bit about your feelings of struggling your bone hard in this helluva world.

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20107 No. 20107 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Do you ever feel that you deserve to be unhappy because you're a uniquely terrible person?
24 posts and 2 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 21582 [Edit]
Enjoy those few years you have not burning.

Seriously though, the main reason why I'm not killing myself (besides the difficulty of actually going through with it) is because I don't know shit about the afterlife and my life isn't that bad yet that I'd give up cute anime grills for possibly being reincarnated as a fucking fly because of shitty karma or something else.

Nothingness sounds great because your existence is completely wiped and you couldn't regret your suicide, or it wouldn't really matter if you did in the last few seconds of your life because everything is over but there's no guarantee and given what's at stake, no matter how great the chances are (which we don't even know) it doesn't sound reasonable to actually do it, if your life isn't complete shit.
Pascal's Wager has a point despite only arguing for the christian belief.
>> No. 21625 [Edit]
In the past I thought I were a terrible person.
But then I objectively evaluated other living beings and realized most are much worse and I would actually be seen as nice and altruistic by society.
Therefore do no worry, everyone is shit.
>> No. 21677 [Edit]
>He was a hell of a bad man but didn't went through any suffering in his life

Uhh, ever heard of the Long March pal?
>> No. 21704 [Edit]
My head is filled with horrible thoughts and violent fantasies. My isolation plan took this into account. I will put an end to this evil bloodline.

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21643 No. 21643 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
I'm not sure if this topic is entirely relevant to this board but I don't know where else to talk about this.
So does anyone else hear voices? I sometimes hear the voice of a woman when I'm all alone at night or when I'm in bed yet not quite asleep.
2 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 21651 [Edit]
I hear "echoes" sometimes. It's pretty annoying because I can't feel alone for a short while but it's probably how my brain copes with the rare situation of having heard a lot of people during the day.
>> No. 21656 [Edit]
I have this when I have been around people a lot, after a long day. When lying in bed, tired, drifting to sleep, I will see in my minds eye visual echoes of the people I've been around during the day, or just echoes of faceless crowds if I've been in a crowded place. And I'll hear their voices, too. I hate it. I can't exercise my imagination or be with my waifu without the people from the day overwriting my thoughts. I have wondered though if this is normal or not. Perhaps I'm ill.
>> No. 21658 [Edit]
This happens to me, too, except in my case it tends to be random stuff that has subconscious meaning.
>> No. 21820 [Edit]
yes, i have schizophrenia

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21485 No. 21485 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Do you ever talk to inanimate objects? Do they talk back?
7 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 21565 [Edit]
I normally talk by myself a lot but I fear that my parents hear me from time to time and feel bad for me. I feel bad for me as well so I kind of understand them.
>> No. 21567 [Edit]
>Not really conversations just one-liners like "you fucking retard" or something like that when I did something stupid.

I do this too, although it's always an internal voice. I also tend to have longer internal conversations with myself when I'm doing mundane daily tasks like showering, eating, or cleaning.
>> No. 21583 [Edit]
Only when they malfunction, mostly to my car and computer. Also I've talked to plants before pls dont die I say and they die half of the time.
>> No. 21587 [Edit]
I have high hopes for AI, shit just look at Tay, its amazing how far tech has come.

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19493 No. 19493 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
I have been living by myself for about 6 months and I am so lonely I am literally crying. I drove to about 5 different stores today and bought things that I neither needed nor could afford just so I could be around humans and listen to them speak for a little while.
20 posts and 2 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 21390 [Edit]
Try watching late night informercials while you suffer your insomnia.
>> No. 21476 [Edit]
it wouldn't bother you if you were a schiz
u r aapd, see dsm5 for more info
>> No. 21509 [Edit]
I still live with my Parents and older sister, and I still feel lonely and bored as fuck, especially since my father has chronic Gilian Beret now (I fucked up spelling that), I'm just afraid that eventually we're just all going to die a sad death that won't be of any importance.
>> No. 21512 [Edit]
I wish I had the means to live alone...

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21417 No. 21417 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
How about some positivity for a change?

Post in this thread along with a short description of yourself and I will say something encouraging to you.
9 posts and 2 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 21439 [Edit]
Are you happy yourself?
>> No. 21440 [Edit]
I'm just neutral.
>> No. 21472 [Edit]
>> No. 21473 [Edit]
I dropped out of highschool.
Closest thing I ever had to a real friend was only using me for personal gain and we haven't spoken in many years. Almost 28 now and have never truly been with a girl. wasted the best years of my life living as a hikkimori with little to show for it.
Been fired from every job I ever had and am scared to get a regular job. Too stupid for school too. Pretty sure my dad is ashamed of me and my mother is disappointed in me. I've never gained any sort of skills or talents. When my mom dies I'm pretty much fucked. The only thing I've ever done with my life was somehow create a website that has been lingering on the verge of death for years, and the main draw of it has been copied by other sites which are more popular.

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21365 No. 21365 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Has anyone else more or less stopped posting about their problems online? Whether it be for empathy, advice or whatever else?

I've stopped mostly because I pretty much get the gist on what to do on not being my current self and realized empathy doesn't really amount to much when I'll still be left to my own devices regardless if someone else is in a similar situation. Lastly, this just might be me being paranoid but it seems sites that attract the socially misfortunate have attracted more schadenfreudes not so recently. I can't help but blame the web 2.0's love for ironic humor and that one site for making loseresque tropes more prevalent.

Apologies if this came across as a rant.
16 posts and 6 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 21413 [Edit]
if I'm honest, I dont really have most of the issues of other posters on this board... I dont have any real issues of shame or depression, and can interact fine with normies when I have to, and dont really mind doing so.(though Id never really go out of my way to over my actual friends). There are other reasons I like hanging around places like this.(nothing like 'lol look at the losers' or 'pfhaha these freaks take waifu seriously' or anything like that.)
That probably puts me in a class of more 'functional' or mentally healthy otaku-types along with the much more normie-seeming types from /a/, or reddit anime boards or something, even though ive never visited or wanted to visit any places like that. Its those sorts of people Ive noticed the obnoxious, insecure self deprecation from most prolifically, where it doesnt just feel like normal, healthy self-deprecating humor but like theres an actual message that 'these things I like are shit, garbage, worthless' somewhere in there, thats somewhat serious. Even though it has seemed to show up in more hardcore otaku types too.
Whenever I hear something like that, if its in a situation where I'd respond, my response always carries some undertone of "Bite me."
>> No. 21414 [Edit]
Don't worry too much, i was kinda in a frenzy yesterday, long day and all.
It makes me somewhat envious seeing otaku couples because they're so rare. I can forgive those by looking away because they still qualify as otakus... ever so slightly, oh well.
It's all a matter of opinion in the end, i'm really tired and don't know what to think anymore, maybe for the best.
Let's enjoy what we like and leave the rest sort itself on it's own, a great advice.
>> No. 21416 [Edit]
File 145539950872.jpg - (461.17KB , 1280x720 , 0.jpg )
The dark side is as shining as the bright side.
Makes us just as blind but there are exceptions.
I hope you'll see someday, otakus don't need to throw their love away.
Just find a different way to reach the stars of empty space.
>> No. 21442 [Edit]
I never really did talk about them much to begin with but I've more or less quit recently. It always seemed like a bad idea to share so much of your personal life online.

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21407 No. 21407 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Dose anyone else ever feel like the universe wants them to be miserable?
The only reason I'm not an atheist is because I feel like there has to be someone up there who gets off on taking diarrhea shits all over my life every time anything slightly nice happens, or just for the hell of it even.

I'm at the point where I get scared if anything too good happens because I just know something bad is about to happen in turn. I've gotten pretty used to bad things happening for the most part but it almost seems like accepting it and not reacting just pisses off the cosmos and makes it go overdrive on fucking with me to push me over the edge. I feel like a lab rat constantly being poked for a reaction.

I've long since stopped looking forward to anything or allowing myself to be excited. Everything is a disappointment or doesn't work out. I don't even know if I'm even capable of feeling 'hope' anymore. I'm long past dead inside. With each passing day I sit here just waiting for what life is going to throw at me next.

Post edited on 14th Feb 2016, 6:49pm
2 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 21427 [Edit]
To quote Boethius -- the greatest pain is remembering what one has lost, and the greatest joy is self-possession. Does that reflect your thoughts at all?
>> No. 21428 [Edit]
I think about this a lot myself

Perhaps it's just foolishness, but I often wonder if I did something wrong to deserve how crappy my life can be at times. I often wonder if there really is a god and he has forsaken me for my Atheism, or if Karma is real and I'm doing something bad or evil without realizing it.
>> No. 21431 [Edit]
No, thats silly. The universe doesn't want to punish you. The universe is indifferent.
>> No. 21668 [Edit]
Not OP but thank you for posting

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21423 No. 21423 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
If you had to guess, how many people around the world would you say killed themself's today?
>> No. 21424 [Edit]
Too many to count.
>> No. 21425 [Edit]
Valentine's day is mostly an American thing. On the world scale the spike is not very high.

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20298 No. 20298 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Do you guys ever become extremely depressed several times a day when your memory makes you remember all the retarded, stupid and shameful shit you did back in the days? How do you guys deal or have dealt with this? I have been having these flashbacks of things I did or say many years ago and they have haunted me ever since. I can't deal with them or forget them, so I get this anxiety issue where I just want to dissapear or run away to a place where nobody I know will ever find in order to never have to deal with the things I did in my past ever again.
31 posts and 7 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 20991 [Edit]
It's not even "back in the days" anymore. Things that only happened maybe yesterday become a source of crushing shame for me, on top of all the run-of-the-mill kid on the internet stuff. I even cringe at things I've said on this website.
>> No. 21016 [Edit]
I sometimes make weird noises when I remember a shameful moment. Now, it's not bad when I'm at home, I'm used to talking to myself, but it also can happen outside. Usually the voice is like "aaaaaaaargh".
>> No. 21018 [Edit]
I do this too & I'm probably going to look back on it in a few years and cry, just like everything else
>> No. 21386 [Edit]
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Over the years I've been doing shit I regret on a daily basis from mistakes to decisions that have caused me and others great harm while most recover from things I've done I do not really recover. I can't be very forgiving with myself for anything I've done whether it was something I said or something I did the past is not something I can change and I never seem to learn my lesson I keep doing shit I regret. Even recently stuff I did will probably haunt me for a long time or the rest of my days. I don't have a real way to cope with feelings of shame, regret, or dread that I'll do something again. I can hold onto something for years usually resentments of people or things that happened. As a result I suffer from depression and I feel I may be developing anxiety now because the future looks very dark for me I feel I'll just keep making mess ups because I don't know how to get what I want without hurting someone in the process.

>so I get this anxiety issue where I just want to dissapear or run away to a place where nobody I know will ever find in order to never have to deal with the things I did in my past ever again.
I've been wanting to do that OP, I want to move to some desolate isolated place and start over because of all the that is on my mind constantly but I feel even than I'd mess that up to.

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