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25102 No. 25102 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
I think contact with reality is slowly killing me.
It's contaminating my mind.
I could spend one month without going outside my room and I will be a happy, almost enlightened human being.
But having to deal with work and people five days a week makes me feel insecure, dirty, exhausted.
The problem isn't the time I'm outside but how it fucks my free time too, it makes me feel anxious, afraid and tired when I should be happy at home. It's friday and I'm already worried about monday, I can't rest.
How do you deal with this, mentally?
There's any particular strategy?
I've been working for years but it gets worse every year, I don't feel like I can get used to it.
>> No. 25126 [Edit]
I know where you're coming from. I cope with leading towards jobs/shifts that place me around fewer people, but I think it's hard to do that with a real career. You'd likely just screw yourself over in the long term doing what I do. One thing I did a lot of at my first job was hiding in the bathroom to play games on my psp. It helped a lot to have a little place to get away and relax for a bit. Of course one of my coworkers who's a real asshole started giving me a hard time about spending so much time in the bathroom but if you ask me it's no different than people taking smoke breaks for stress releaf.
My recommendation is to try and find a new line of work, or maybe be your own boss and try a less conventional form of making income. Have you considered forex, stock trading, drop shipping, or running an online business from home?
I know switching careers can be scary but if what you're doing now isn't working for you, you should at least consider it.

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25070 No. 25070 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
A community I used to be rather fond of to discuss a certain game series has officially gone to shit. To sum it up, it used to be a wonderful, friendly place where you could post whatever pertainingto a certain series, and you'd be met with nice and wholesome discussion. Now the good people have almost entirely left and what's left is straight up abusive people who will trample you if you even include posts written in a way they don't like. It feels like you can't post anything more than a sentence long meme or image dump. It's fucking awful right now and I think I'm about to leave for good or at least just lurk the thread for a while.

I'm really distraught by this because I've been around since almost the beginning and it's a really shame it degraded into what it is. At least I have met a lot of good people and found a lot of wonderful things through it.

Is it time to find greener pastures? Anybody else with similar experiences?
3 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 25076 [Edit]
>Is it time to find greener pastures? Anybody else with similar experiences?
Leave. Staying will only embitter you.

>>25073
>(in both the literal and metaphoric sense)
I noticed that with programming social circles too.
>> No. 25078 [Edit]
I recognize that feeling. I hate modern internet.
>> No. 25086 [Edit]
>>25070
Let me guess...4/jp/?
>> No. 25087 [Edit]
>>25086
The time to be distraught over 4/anything going to shit was years ago.

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24294 No. 24294 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Do you know what I find annoying? People who complain about being lonely without knowing what it's really like to be alone and take what they have for granted. Maybe they broke up a while back or are just going some time without seeing their friends, these people don't know what it's like to be truly alone. They almost certainly have someone there, siblings or friend or a parent, anything. They have people they can talk to if need be, people who will be there for them. They don't know what it's like to never have anyone.
The internet is my only social outlet, there's no one else in my life I can talk to. I can't even speak properly out loud because of how little practice I get, and it's such a bizarre experience if/when I actually do have a conversation with someone in person. Just being able to talk to someone is one of those rare things for me that normals take for granted. I feel like a ghost in this world, there but disconnected, observing other people as an outsider but unable to join them. I might as well not even be there as far as they've concerned. Even when I make online acquaintances, they never stick around long. I've learned to stop expecting anything from anyone. I still try all the same, to be friendly giving caring, but it never works for long. Their 'real' friends always take priority and win out. I can't even talk to anyone in my family. I have no brothers or sisters or cousins, only an abusive asshole of a father who I don't live with, my simple minded half deaf mother, and my insane uncle. I do still try with them, but it just ends up being a disappointing and frustrating experience each and every time. The real kicker here is that I don't even like being around people anyway. I like being alone and find humans annoying and obnoxious to deal with. I don't know if I'm lonely, or if I've just bought into the idea projected by society that everyone needs someone and not having someone is the worst most lonely thing possible. The times when I'm truly and completely alone without any humans around online or off are some of the most enjoyable moments for me. I feel like I'm just not cut out for intermingling with humans and trying to is a waste of time and effort, but I also find myself worrying in the back of my mind that maybe I've
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>> No. 24989 [Edit]
>>24972
>I wish I could have one or two friends without needing to participate in the rat race
I'll be your friend but im a really shitty friend
>> No. 24993 [Edit]
>>24989
I appreciate the offer. You're in good company; I am also a pretty awful friend. As I alluded to in the other post, all the things that friends do together fail to come naturally to me. That's probably why nobody has ever wanted anything to do with me: I'm just too lackluster and boring to be anyone's friend.

It is probably better for everyone this way in the long run, since I won't be a bother to anyone and I'll eventually settle back into the calm stability of isolation again.
>> No. 24994 [Edit]
Truth is, adults don't have friends. If something, couples have friend couples.
It's the shocking truth. The normalfag world isn't about friendship, it's about social relations and that's a completely different thing. Children have friends, not adults.
>> No. 24995 [Edit]
>>24994
From what I've seen of my parents, adults will sometimes call the people they were friends with in school or their work buddies. They occasionally visit each other's house too.

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22653 No. 22653 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Are anime people really as happy as they look?
4 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 24934 [Edit]
>>24920
>>22657
To me, 2D is like a thin cross-section of reality, where concepts we see in reality are distilled down into a pure and potent form. The idea, whatever it happens to be, is usually familiar and identifiable, but its presentation in 2D escapes what is generally possible when dealing with things in 3D. That's why I choose to see anime as a sort of window into an ethereal realm filled with ideas in their most perfect and pure forms. Clearly this place doesn't exist in the same way reality does, but I view it as an equally "real" realm we can get glimpses of through various pursuits of the mind and imagination.
>> No. 24941 [Edit]
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24941
>>24934
> distilled
Great choose of word! The simplified drawing stile expresses sentiments very clearly, almost leaving the observer hungry for more, and connects them to the situation without mixing in the ever present angst and emptiness every human shares in any situation. Watching anime is like reminiscing. Everything is filtered to core elements, washing away mundane worries, you wouldn't remember a month or a year after.

> pure
Possibly one of the most loaded words in the community. It's almost funny how addicted anime fans are to real life events, while they can't enjoy them in the watered down form of painfully swallowing moment by moment in their very own present. Ah, don't feel insulted, just reflecting here.
>> No. 24942 [Edit]
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24942
>>24931
I do that too but with romance. It hurts so much and I can never enjoy it ever. But then it means I'm watching almost nothing.
>> No. 24943 [Edit]
>>24942
I don't watch romance either(because I hate it) and I still find that I am never lacking things to watch, most anime doesn't have romance.

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24895 No. 24895 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
The term psychonautics derives from psychonaut, a term usually attributed to German author Ernst Jünger. Jünger used the term in describing the pharmacologist Arthur Heffter in his 1970 essay on his own extensive drug experiences Annäherungen: Drogen und Rausch (translated as "Approaches: Drugs and Inebriation").[1][3] In this essay, Jünger draws many parallels between drug-induced experiences and physical exploration—for example, the danger of encountering hidden "reefs."
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>> No. 24898 [Edit]
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24898
>>24897
9.73KB , 208x255. It's fucking tiny.
>> No. 24899 [Edit]
Someone explain to me what the fuck is going on with these threads. They pop up for no reason, carry no content, present no topics for discussion nor questions to be answered, only some confusing non sequitur. Is it a bot or something?
>> No. 24902 [Edit]
>>24899
I've been wondering that too. Assuming that >>24897 is the OP then I don't think this is a bot, but if this is the case can OP please explain what the point of the thread is? While I think activity and thread-creation might be nice, creating threads that don't leave a lot of room for discussion just decreases the snr. In this particular case there's already a thread for "what did you learn today" type things (and just copying directly from Wikipedia seems lazy. At least please summarize *what* the essay is about!)

>>24899
I assume you're also referring to
http://tohno-chan.com/so/res/24876.html
http://tohno-chan.com/so/res/24886.html

I don't think the quotes one is a bot, since it's too specific (I recall seeing that specific line on /jp/ some time back).

The other one, however, seems to fit a pattern of posts that seem eerily out of place (semantically correct, but just not fitting with the board as a whole), coupled with images that always include a full URL or path name. A few months back there were also one or two threads that seemed even more peculiar, one of which was a "spam" post linking to some shady site but the remarkable aspect was that it was interwoven cleanly into a post that seemed on topic (if I recall it's body was something of the form "Why are imageboard users leaving.. [link to sketchy site]" replete with a suitable anime image). I originally thought this might have been a GPT-2 based bot but honestly it's more likely to have been someone mass-targeting imageboards with links and a carefully crafted message. There's also http://tohno-chan.com/an/res/33579.html made around that time which is similarly
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>> No. 24904 [Edit]
>>24902
>I assume you're also referring to
>http://tohno-chan.com/so/res/24876.html
>http://tohno-chan.com/so/res/24886.html
No, these make sense to me. I meant ones like ot/res/33620.html and several others I can't be fucked to look for.

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24876 No. 24876 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Together or not together
These are the last traces of those dreamlike days.
>> No. 24877 [Edit]
Dispersed far apart and lost to the sands of time we are, the dream like days are long gone.
>> No. 24878 [Edit]
"Foam floats
upon the pools,
scattering, re-forming,
never lingering long.
 
So it is with man
and all his dwelling places
here on earth."
>> No. 24882 [Edit]
for I have seen the silver sparks
in crystal nights so long ago
and now I shall return to those
who laugh upon the pain
who see no clouds in empty skies
who fall down with the rain
>> No. 24885 [Edit]
>>24876
Everyday is a dreamlike day
For me to awaken from this dream
What awaits for me?
Man cannot take eternity and count it
My only wish is to dissolve away into the darkness
Like salt in water
Away from the eyes of mortal man

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24840 No. 24840 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Does anyone ever go through chronic periods of emotional pain, like heartache? I've been experiencing some intense heartache for years now, I never had any relationships, so I don't know where this pain comes from. Or why. I've done endless self-reflection and introspection to find out where this comes from, and so far I've come to the conclusion it's a product of my loss of faith in humanity and the human race. I don't know what to do about it, it's really painful. If anyone got any advice, it would help I suppose.
2 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 24848 [Edit]
I read a book about subconsciousness recently. The idea is that the conscious and unconscious thought are rarely directly in contact and people can't uncover their deepest desire through deep introspection like in some Freudian therapy session. It is better to see the mind as a black box and determine its contents by your behavior and reactions rather than your thoughts. Of course it is wrong to deny your conscious thoughts wholly, but it may give you insights into things you can't get through rumination. Think about the history of how you react to different stimuli. Put aside your prejudice and try to judge yourself objectively, maybe by thinking that you're making an analysis of someone else. Imagine how you would feel in different situation. For example, someone may consciously think that he hates people and prefer to be alone but being alienated gives him emotional pain, so he can infers that he actually do feel some amount of desire for companionship without completely denying his desire to be alone. Maybe it's loneliness like the post above me says but I think you should still figure it out for yourself and jumping into improvebrah social-anxiety-fixing is not a good idea. You have to tailor-fit these advice to suit your individual conditioning.
>> No. 24852 [Edit]
>>24848
This has been far by the most helpful advice I have comes across, I have yet to try your suggestions. Thanks anon-san!
>> No. 24853 [Edit]
>>24848
I believe I'm going to take this advice to heart as >>24852 mentioned this seems like helpful advice and an interesting take nonetheless.
>> No. 24856 [Edit]
>>24847
>I'm not sure how to best do this

I noticed something, the moments I feel more lonely are when there's people around (family or work usually, classmates time ago), when there's no people at all on sight I usually feel fine or even good. Maybe that could help.
So if you're truly abnormal (not saying you are, I don't know) and you try to force yourself into things you're not meant to like someone said you could end making your bad feelings even worse.

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24833 No. 24833 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Anyone feel severe anxiety before bed everyday? For me, the later I go to bed, the more afraid I get. I feel like if I don't go to sleep by the standard, 'normal' time, I won't be able to see daylight or will not be able to sleep at night. Anyone else feel this way?
3 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 24837 [Edit]
>>24834
Same here, but only if I'm going to meet someone who would have an impact on me, like a doctor.

>... I feel even more anxious, at that point it just seems like a bad joke.

This hit me very hard, I totally know how that feels like. By the time I reach that point, I would get panic attacks just by thinking about sleep.

>>24835
Same. I changed that habit early this year, but only because I thought my bedtime anxiety would disappear if I became 'normal.' Too bad I was wrong. Initially I just wanted to avoid the daylight and prevent myself from having to face another day, but eventually as time passed, I developed bedtime anxiety. I tried to turn my sleep schedule back to a normal one, where I went to bed in the night like a normal person, thinking that my anxiety would disappear. Haha... I was wrong...
>> No. 24844 [Edit]
>>24833
It's the complete opposite for me.
I feel an extreme wave of anxiety when I try to force myself onto a "normal" schedule. I'm way more happier and comfortable staying up all night regardless if I see daylight at all or not. I'm only depressed while the sun is up anyways.
>> No. 24846 [Edit]
>>24837
At least instead of having sleep anxiety and poor sleep schedule you only have sleep anxiety now. I don't even know how I would start to change my sleep schedule. Setting an alarm just means I'll turn it off and go back to sleep. Going to bed early will just make me lie down for hours before sleeping or my body treating it as a nap and sleeping for like 3 hours before I wake up and become unable to sleep again. Going to bed early is a good thing. You can take your time in dealing with your anxiety.
>> No. 24881 [Edit]
I guess I sometimes feel anxious/concerned that I once again failed to do anything I intended to do during the day. Then I either do stuff at 2am and screw up my sleeping pattern, or worry about having to do it the following day -- which means I don't fall asleep -- also screwing up my sleeping pattern.

I have had pretty bad insomnia in the past, but that almost seemed like a "physical" thing. After not sleeping for a few weeks I get a worsening psychosis. I used to have a stash of sedatives, but last time it happened I had run out. So shit just progressed as it does and I had to go to the hospital and commit myself. Definitely wouldn't do that again.

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24784 No. 24784 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
I know it's a touchy subject, as the debate of what a hikki actually is is somewhat controversial, but have any Brohnos ever had stints of full hikkidom? As in, total isolation, even from social websites?
Do you regret it if you did?
Did it cause mental problems?
Would you do it again?
Did you even enjoy it?
>> No. 24785 [Edit]
I had.

Regret? Depends. If instead I could theoretically be living a full and happy life shared with people who loved me, then yes. What kind of life can someone like me expect in reality? An austere one, filled with slavish work and cruelty of others every day, with no reward for bearing the pain.

No mental problems whatsoever.

Would.

It's not about enjoyment. You don't withdraw to have fun, you do it to be able to endure living.
Hell is other people.
>> No. 24786 [Edit]
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24786
>>24784
Yes, for a short time I experienced that.
I lived by myself in almost complete solitude for a little more than half a year, without internet, and for one month or so without computer since it broke.
I was kinda depressed since the idea was to kill myself when I used all the money I had left, that was a source of anguish. But at the same time I was at peace, without knowing what was going on in the world and no one bothering me for the first time in my life. Also I'm a digital hoarder and I have been preparing myself for a situation like that for years, so it wasn't too boring since I had anime, movies, videogames, podcast and stuff to read until the end of the world. I always liked the idea to accumulate media then shut myself from the world in a bunker or something.

It's really nice to wake up knowing you don't have anything to do, you can do whatever you like today, tomorrow and the day after tomorrow, only problem is you can't keep living like that for too much time.
People that say you only enjoy free time when you don't have too many are wrong, I enjoyed my time better then than while being a wageslave.
>> No. 25155 [Edit]
Yeah, only but for a few months each time.

Didn't regret it. I'm just not cut out for contact with people. Even here on tohno I often feel bad or sad. There are just too many people who I don't understand at all. People so different from me I feel like my sense of reality crumbles. Or people who get angry and antagonistic for no real reason. I guess I'm just a really weak stupid pathetic person but I never really regretted withdrawing.

I did become slower and developed a stutter since all my verbal thinking was tied into posts on image boards. I also noticed I became paranoid and scared of people in real life.

I keep trying to do it again, but I always end up crawling back.

I don't really enjoy it, but at least I'm not being hurt by other people as much so that's something at least.

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24681 No. 24681 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
I'm seeing an increasing amount of articles online about a "loneliness epidemic," primarily affecting men. Most of these events are related to the UK, but I assume that might be because funding for these types of studies might be harder to get in the U.S.

For instance, you have the UK funding an entire government program to focus on this (https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/17/world/europe/uk-britain-loneliness.html) and several recent articles/studies about this issue (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7488709/One-five-men-no-friends-loneliness-epidemic-leaves-thousands-living-isolation.html).

Yet at the same time you also have people (most noticeable on online mediums) self-diagnosing themselves with "anxiety" or "depression" in order to get attention, and these same people spend their day seemingly content to browse an endless filler of superficial fluff content (whether on facebook, twitter, or reddit).

And this is all set against the backdrop of technologization (mobile phones, adtech, etc.) which has fragmented society, enabled this "gamification" of behavior by companies, and is supplanting the original charm of online discussion with the same seemingly mass-manufactured filler.

What are your thoughts on all of this. Is the "loneliness" epidemic that the media reports a genuine phenomenon? Given the nature of this board, it's probably not wrong to assume that we've experienced isolation and emptiness for a long period. Have we been at the "leading edge" of a phenomenon that's starting to gradually affect more people (and if so, what is the cause). Japan too has also been a precursor in this as there the phenomenon of hiki and herbivore men has been seen for some time. Or do you think the type of "loneliness" affecting the general population differs from our situation in some sense. (Note: the articles and studies conducted specifically mention friends, not romantic interactions. Yet at the same time one cannot help but feel there exists some difference between those that ha
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>> No. 24688 [Edit]
Lots to digest here. For the record I live in the US. I'm also 30 years old.

> Is the "loneliness" epidemic that the media reports a genuine phenomenon?
I don't really have a lot of (or any for that matter) friends, but I do have coworkers who are around my age (+/-1-2 years). None of us are married, and we're all from engineering backgrounds. A few of us do have 3DPDs, however. Me personally, I would say that my main "problem" is that I am lonely. I think about it daily, and I struggle with it. My main source of dealing with it is image boards and trying to be cheerful at work (I am actively afraid of losing my job, as it means everything to me). I don't know how to solve this problem, because of my live situation. The real solution would be to, obviously look for a nice women to befriend, but I really don't have the living situation to deal with that (I live with my parents).

> Or do you think the type of "loneliness" affecting the general population differs from our situation in some sense.
No I think that Hikiki and what we're experiencing are very similar. Both stem from a feeling of inadequacy, fear, lack of meaning, and self esteem issues. Not saying these are all of the reasons, but they're the ones I have at times related to.

> Note: the articles and studies conducted specifically mention friends, not romantic interactions.
Specifically on the subject of friends. I don't even know how you make ones anymore. I've lived with an "inability to make long term relationships" all of my life, and I struggle with whether or not I want a relationship, as I'm afraid of being let down again (Being let down is pretty much a core aspect of my existence). People say "go to the gym, get fit, go drink / watch sports at a bar, play sports, ect." but none of those things interest me. I'm sorry. Also no, it has nothing to do with "Soy" or other BS that's being propagated. I just find those things boring, and part of "normal culture".

> been part of the "excluded group" from childhood
Not going to lie, there was only a sm
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>> No. 24690 [Edit]
>Specifically on the subject of friends. I don't even know how you make ones anymore.
I don't think the structure of modern society is really conducive to making genuine friends. Most of your day is spent at work, but forming deep friendships probably requires a long period of having known each other which necessarily limits new friendships to your co-workers. This is combined with the fact that most other people prefer to stay in their cliques and that social media has normalized the notion of shallow interpersonal connections. And if you are not very sociable or have interests outside the mainstream, the challenges become almost insurmountable given that there are very few others who you'd likely get along with in the first place (and they would probably be as unsociable or quiet as you apriori so finding them is akin to finding a needle in a haystack).

If we accept technology, modern society, and ephemeral relations as a given, maybe the solution might be to somehow follow in the footsteps of monks and cultivate an appreciation for the ephemera while learning to distance oneself from others? It's certainly not easy, but you have many monks and such who spend most of their time in isolation just meditating, and I assume that by doing so they've overcome most of these emotional desires.
>> No. 24700 [Edit]
>Oh you're lonely and possibly involuntarily celibate? LMAO fucking privileged alt-gamergate anime avatar russian nazi bot manbaby misogynist, why don't you fucking KILL YOURSELF while we have sex and fight climate change and shit *dabs on u* #Winning #MurderedByWords
And that's all society has to say on the matter.
>> No. 24703 [Edit]
>>24700
I think that's primarily limited to the (very) vocal segments of twitter/facebook/etc. though. Sure, the average person probably harbors those same sentiments but not to the same extent.

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24485 No. 24485 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Do you see any appeal in traveling? When I was younger, my family took me on a vaction every other summer to some far off country. We used a time share, so it's not like we were rich or something. Most locations were out of the way apartment buildings instead of hotels and that kind of thing. I'm glad I got to do that kind of stuff during my life, but if I had the option to go anywhere now, I don't think I would go for it.

The travel itself is a pain in the ass. Airport security makes me anxious. Jetlag and riding on a plane are hell. Even when you finally get there, it feels like you're not getting what's promised. Especially if you don't know the language of whatever place you're in and don't have any relatives there; you feel like an outsider who's just looking around for a little bit. It's like reading a textbook; you're not really experiencing the country, which takes a life-time in my opinion. Navigating and figuring out public transit is also stressful. Going back is a pain and kind of gloomy.

Food is usually pretty hit or miss if you don't do research, and if you're unlucky enough to be in a place with no english servers you're fucked. If there is an english menu, it's touristy shit. It's not actually relaxing unless you're at a resort, which is a complete waste of money since they're all the same and going anywhere outside of it is a massive hurdle. My room is good enough and sight-seeing doesn't satisfy me anymore.

Oh, and the biggest issue: I don't have anybody to go with.

Post edited on 28th Jul 2019, 4:54am
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>> No. 24513 [Edit]
>>24506
You should theme it somehow. The modern vaction has become a haphazard photo shoot, but it doesn't have to be that way. It could be a food tour or a music tour, or a cultural tour, or an otaku pilgrimage or something. Before going though, you should buy whatever tickets and make whatever reservations you need.

Post edited on 4th Aug 2019, 7:07am
>> No. 24515 [Edit]
>>24485
I used to daydream about traveling to lots of places when I was younger, but your second paragraph includes some of the reasons I don't want to anymore.
In my early 20s I got the chance to actually travel somewhere I had dreamed about going and it was horrible. I was constantly stressed and anxious, the schedules I had planned before I left gave me no enjoyment and just left me exhausted and confused. Nothing was worth the hassle. I just wanted to wait in my hotel room on my computer until I could go home.
The only fun I actually had was going to the grocery store. If you travel any significant distance (even within the same country, if it is big enough) the things you can find in a grocery store are totally different, and since the food in grocery stores is generally only a couple of dollars rather than the price of a full meal, you can afford to buy pretty much every single item that looks interesting to you.
>> No. 24519 [Edit]
Just like how there's a Shikoku 88 temple pilgrimage, there's a new Otaku 88 pilgrimage. Some of the "holy sites" may interest you.
>> No. 24656 [Edit]
I often think about it but I've come to realise it's more about mentally escaping my life than actually visiting somewhere different.

As in my troubles will go away if i physically move. I think about this so often.
But, when i think about it there is nothing i particually want to see. If i did i could justy see it online. I've spent hours and hours looking at streetview for various countries.

Even looked at airbnb rooms and imagined interacting with the people. I know how the interaction will go. I know how i will speak and how the conversation will go.

Which is strtange considering the anxiety i feel when travelling. A couple years ago I flew 30 mins to another city to see my brother. It was 48 hours of panic and stress.
That feeling when I returned and got back in my car and sank into the seat was unbelivable.

Another time I toured my own country a little. It was just the same shit everywhere. The same shops and everything just with different geography. I found it increasingly frustrating being unable to derive any satisfaction from it.

It put me off any travel. Or anything really. There's nothing out there is there?

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