Sorry about that. I just re-read my post and realised how it looks. In the moment when I was writing it, I wasn't thinking of you at all. I was thinking of whatever God it was that I was rebelling against. In my mind, I had a middle-finger held up against the sky rather than you and lost in my euphoria, I started talking to it rather than you. I only wanted to express that feeling directly. It didn't come off the way I hoped at all. No offense meant to you.
As time progresses, I've become increasingly convinced of the possibility that our talents are actually skills that we developed in our previous life. I've seen musicians play pieces that they mysteriously felt that they had played before. I believe that at some point in one of our previous lives, these talents that we have actually started as "unnatural" skills that we either forced ourselves to develop or had some kind of emotional support to help us develop. The settlers who came to America and were paid money to plough the land, land which had never once up until this point been ploughed, they frequently broke their tools trying to soften the ground. The next generation however had a significantly easier time dealing with the land. It was tough and likewise, as I blaze these new trails and plough these new lands, I encounter a similar stiff resistance but that's okay. When I reincarnate, I'll be able to pick up where I left off and the next "me" will find it natural.
For me, the true nature of art is taking the unnatural and forcing it to be natural. You've tamed this wild, unyielding beast. Yes, I'm tense and I suffer but this pain is meaningful so I embrace it all.