NEET is not a label, it's a way of life!
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19645 No. 19645 [Edit]
Why are you unhappy, /tc/?
377 posts omitted. Last 50 shown. Expand all images
>> No. 28549 [Edit]
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28549
I think I'm going to quit my job soon. I'm so fucking tired of having shit pushed on me and tired of dealing with all the fucking morons. It wouldn't be so bad if they at least give me proper training or some reference material, but nope. They're just throwing me off the deep end, and when I talk to anyone about it, they just don't understand and it makes me more frustrated. "That's life", but I don't have one.
I'm ready to stay inside for another few years.
>> No. 28550 [Edit]
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28550
>>28549
Good luck, whatever you do.
>> No. 28551 [Edit]
>Why are you unhappy, /tc/?
I have ideals I want to realize but I think I'll die without realizing them. I don't know what to do. I won't give up but I think there's no escape and trying my best won't be enough.
I want to get into drawing and/or mathematics very much but my life is a mess and I think I won't get to.
I always liked the two things since I was little but I had a chaotic youth. I never got to spend my time with the things I enjoy like everyone else, never allowed to "just be yourself". So I didn't get to develop skills during this period. My youth was extreme and I broke. It felt like I was in a comma. I'm starting to feel better, but it seems like it's too late.
I feel like I still have something inside me, but my life will soon get a lot worse. I'll have to wageslave or become homeless, get health problems, I'm very poor etc. So I will never go to an university, afford a good drawing tablet or have free time. I think I'll die without realizing any of my dreams, die like I never existed.
I wish I had dedicated my entire life to at least one of drawing and math. I wanted to be wholly dedicated and try to make a serious contribution. Every day try to get better and nothing else matters. I might have to choose just one of the two one day, but I love the two. I can't properly explain why, but basically it's like the saying "it's where I feel at home".
I think I could have been very free and happy. Like my life could have been very different. I feel like I never got to live my own life, but I wanted to very much. I wish I had another chance, like I could go back in time or reincarnate. There are things I want to try and I want to see how far I can go, I want to be wholly focused and devoted, only care about achieving results. It's like there's a path I want to follow very much, but I can't because my life is a mess. I don't know how to explain what I mean, I think I'm too different from everyone else so I can't properly communicate, I wish I could at least communicate because it seems I won't get to realize any of my aspirations but I can't properly express myself.
From now on, I'll just try to get as good at drawing and math as I can. Try my best to realize my ideals. But I think I'm hopeless and any effort at this point is only symbolic. I'll be silent and behave like I think I'm supposed to, do what I think is right, even if I'm alone and destined to fail. I want to speak through actions and works instead of words, but I think I won't get to.
Sorry for how I type. I don't know how to communicate like a normal person. I am very mentally ill. I realize I'm actually retarded. Sorry for making a post, I'm obnoxious and unimportant. Sorry.
>> No. 28613 [Edit]
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28613
CS student, 22, soon to graduate. I kinda wish I had gone into art. I've dabbled in drawing, but art seems so daunting. To become even somewhat decent, I have the impression it takes an extreme level of commitment over the course multiple years; something that would only be feasible for me if I were to do it professionally. And I think it's too late for me to start anyway.

I don't mind programming, and sometimes find it fulfilling, but it kind of feels cold and lonely, even when it's collaborative(almost never for me). It's utilitarian, and people don't get immediate joy from it like they can from an image. I'm not one of those people in love with comp sci theory.

I know art as an industry is completely fucked up though. You practically have to go at it alone, and anonymously, if you want to make whatever you want. Everybody is such a cunt now, scared of their own shadow. Cuntery is the norm and its institutionalized. They'll eat you alive if you put one foot out of line. You need friends, connections, to get anywhere too. I haven't had one those in over a decade.

Post edited on 28th Dec 2023, 4:38am
>> No. 28685 [Edit]
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28685
(Sorry for the rant and negativity. Maybe wrong thread but I'm unhappy now for sure.) Ive been living a NEET(ish) life for quite a while. I used to work casual jobs or a few months of full-time job whenever I was running out of money. I live with my mother. She used to be quite crazy and alcoholic but these past few years she is totally fine.

Some years I spent very happily, doing my hobbies, spending lots of time in nature, enjoying my freedom. There were some years though that were horrible but i kind of managed to learn from my own mistakes. However money issues is always there and so far I could not find any good solution.

In summer I found a full-time job again. Been working there since. First it was all nice, so I ended up staying longer than the usual 2-3 months. But then it got worse and worse. Sometimes I work 6 days a week but this week it was 7 days. That included 2 night shift, which were absolute horror. Like torture. Cold is horrible too. Last week it was minus 10 in the morning when I went to work. For morning shift I have to wake up at 5:00.

Before I got this job I felt all nice and my mental health and life was doing fine but now all turned into shit. My mind is getting more and more wrecked. To try to deal with stress I'm eating more junk food and overeating and scroll internet and fap to porn too much. At this rate I'm gonna start smoking or drinking or something. I have no time and energy to spend time on my hobbies or spend time in nature (which is such a mind-restoring thing). Maybe my stress-tolerance is too low but I cant help it, it is what it is.

The other full-time jobs I worked in the past 10ish years were almost this shitty. The ones that were not that bad paid so little that it still wasn't worth it. I don't understand how can people work "normal" jobs and don't see that this is not actually that normal. You only need so little stuff to be happy. But people need to make ton of money to spend it on ton of nonsense. Or they spend it on their family or I dunno. I don't have a family (as in 3D and kids) but I keep being told regularly that its something good and I'm missing out, but how good it is if you need to work like this for it?

Anyway, I feel like shit, I'm sleep deprived. Please anybody learn from my mistake and spend time on figuring out smarter ways to make money, don't work soul-destroying jobs.
>> No. 28686 [Edit]
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28686
Thanks for the reminder and sorry to hear about your money issues, that's never fun. I know my body has a low stress tolerance because of my idle neet lifestyle, it didn't used to be that way. Maybe you are the same? I noticed this one day when I had to do errands outside all day and absolutely crashed after coming home. Some people are fine following the 'life script', I realized.
I feel like I'm 'running out of time,' and this year I'm trying to increase my stamina to be ready for picking up an actual job and make the experience less painful in case I don't find other ways to make money. Also yes, I don't know where you live but it has been fucking cold recently here too.

Post edited on 16th Jan 2024, 2:59am
>> No. 28689 [Edit]
>>28686
It's the crappy kind of stress at my current job, like having to multitask a lot, dealing with a-hole people, having many responsibilities. And on a second thought, I always start to loose my stress tolerance rapidly after 2-3 months of full-time work. I know I'm not cut out to work like "normal" people do but this job pays well and it wasn't this bad at first so I wanted to stay longer but I'm gonna leave at this rate.

>running out of time
You mean running out of money? If your stamina is very low I recommend you to look for jobs that are very easy and straightforward even if the salary is so low its a joke. And see what works for you, where you can improve.
>> No. 28706 [Edit]
>>28689
I'm slowly running out of money but that's not an issue right now, life is passing me by and I'm wasting my days instead of trying to figure out ways to make money like you said. I only need financial stability to not worry about it in the future. Any job is fine as long as I get to keep my mental health and live, then I can try to be more ambitious after getting used to a new ¨normal¨ again.
I believe that if you've ever been a neet and enjoyed the lifestyle, it'll be hard not to miss it when things ultimately change but it is what it is.
>> No. 28711 [Edit]
Happiness is available only to those ignorant of how much suffering there is in this world (usually due to innocence, naivety or lack of empathy).
>> No. 28719 [Edit]
I'm unhappy seeing how many people act like idiots into adulthood and are incapable of introspection. So many numbskulls with no tact who can't admit their mistakes.
>>28711
I want a peaceful, wonderful life with a bit of happiness in it then.
>> No. 28720 [Edit]
>>28689
It's over if you have chronic fatigue syndrome.
>> No. 28721 [Edit]
>>28720
CFS is an interesting thing. There's some evidence that it's somehow linked to mitochondrial dsyfunction, and yet I likely believe there's also a strong psychosomatic element to it, in a similar way to how mind-body connection is the cause of issues such as back pain or RSI (see John Sarno's work).
>> No. 28722 [Edit]
>>28720
>>28721

It's not like I have CFS but the 6-7 days per week are too much and I also can't take night shifts. I sleep like 3 hour max at daytime and that's it. I wake up and feel like shit. People are supposed to sleep at night. I don't wanna take sleeping pills or something. The work itself and the salary are fine though.
>> No. 28782 [Edit]
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28782
It looks like I've lost the last hope I had of ever connecting with someone.
Even if there are people who care about me, I don't feel it. They should have done it sooner, I can't care anymore. And I hate myself for it.
>> No. 28784 [Edit]
>>28782
Friend, call Jesus Christ, He'll answer.
>> No. 28787 [Edit]
>>28782
Put your faith and trust in Him, and you'll be at peace with God. If you need someone to talk to, I can leave my email, or create a Matrix or whatever if you'd like.
>> No. 28788 [Edit]
I find evangelism on tc of all places really tacky.
>> No. 28789 [Edit]
>>28788
Well, I like to provide a solution when possible.
>> No. 28790 [Edit]
>>28789
Not him, obviously, but I find your willingness to provide an "ear" to someone in despair to be admirable.
>> No. 28791 [Edit]
>>28787
If your worthless "God" was of any use than the person you're trying to assist wouldn't be in need of assistance in the first place.
>> No. 28792 [Edit]
>>28791
Fwiw >>28791 is not me (>>28788), I don't have any strong opinion but I'd suggested that further (constructive) discussion should take place on /tat/.
>> No. 28794 [Edit]
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28794
>>28784
He made this construct, moron
Jesus, Yeshua, YHWH, Yaldabaoth, Demiurge
I'm mentally-ill, but not that much
>> No. 28795 [Edit]
>>28794
Wdym? Gnosticism causes brain rot.
>> No. 28796 [Edit]
>>28795
of the spiritual sayings, I feel more drawn to gnosticism
what I mean was, the one who put me here is not my lord, or father, or whatever, if the christian mythos were to be true.
this god (which is a title, btw) deserves to be destroyed
and if you're a christian (or muslim, or jewish), you have stockholm syndrome
>> No. 28797 [Edit]
>>28796
God has blessed me, and countless other believers, steered me away from masturbation, porn, despair, anger, pride, video games, etc. He's holy and just, and if there's a judgment, such as is written in the New Testament, part of the most important book in all of history (the Bible), the ancient document with the most manuscripts from decades after the writing down of the books therein, and the most numerous by far, you either have your debts against God covered by the payment that He made, as an infinite being for a finite amount of time, or sadly have to receive the punishment that we of our own all deserve for eternity. We have moral laws embedded in our DNA, and if someone breaks one law, it isn't just to let them go unpunished if they've kept them all. It is so simple that a child can understand, yet the death, burial, and resurrection on the third day of Jesus Christ is the most important event in all of history. Believe in Him, and you'll receive this awesome gift.
>> No. 28798 [Edit]
>>28797
This awesome gift being the forgiveness of sins and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, and one day receive a new incorruptible body such as, or even better than, what was in the beginning with Adam, such as is the intention of God.

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
>> No. 28799 [Edit]
I shall remind that matters concerning religion should be discussed at /tat/.
>> No. 28816 [Edit]
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28816
wrote 2 paragraphs explaining how I was unhappy because my birthday is this month and I can't relate to others due to a general feeling of alienation that comes with old age but decided not to post them. It's probably just a transient feeling that will pass. I ctrl+A+Del my posts often and that, in itself, makes me unhappy (with myself).
April and spring are coming so maybe it will be a new beginning for me too.
>> No. 28820 [Edit]
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28820
>>28816
You mean that you can't relate to others younger than you or the same age? Also happy birthday!
I can't do both, I'm stuck feeling like a teenager so I can't relate to most people my age but also younger generations because they still seem immature (at least those I have to talk with).

My unhappiness comes from too many things, I'm already middle aged, never found my 'spark' or something I was decent at, and I think some my dissatisfacfion comes from a mix of anxiety stemming from a weird childhood, that formed into laziness and inaction for a big chunk of my life. I went to school for computerstuff because I didn't know what else to do, but am too stupid and a bit unwilling to actually do it for a job. So I have spent most of my adult life as a NEET instead of working towards anything, if you have no destination you can't get lost. Now I'm stuck doing customer support until I'm fired because my neet brain caused me to lose my ability to hold a basic conversation too.
Basically, I want to stay a NEET forever
>> No. 28825 [Edit]
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28825
>>28820
It's both for me too. Not relating to younger generations and wanting to keep your distance from them it's normal, I think. People who are mature for their age seem to be an exception to the rule and even then, they lack the experience that make some of us jaded (not a good thing). I'm not sure if I was mature when I was younger but I know I had more enthusiasm towards life before.
My life's story it's so different from people my age that is hard to relate to them beyond superficial conversations. I also can't relate to what seems to be the typical neet story of dropping out of uni or not entering it after HS. It's different from that, and I don't want to blogpost in detail right now.

Neeting does make your brain rusty at socializing and yes, despite all of this I've never felt truly lost. I bet there are more people that would like to stay as Neets forever than we think.
Tamaki Saito, the author of the original hikikomori book, wrote that a lot of the problems with being one of them are corelated to issues in adolescence. Knowing it's a somewhat common issue for a lot of people puts me at ease.
>Also happy birthday!
Thank you! it's near the end of the month.
>> No. 28830 [Edit]
I can't sleep. I just get these horrible thoughts that are racing throughout my skull. The only relief is through drinking, but I don't have any gin left. I am definitely going to die of liver failure.
Trying to larp through life as a normie was definitely not the right choice.
>> No. 28832 [Edit]
>>28825
>My life's story it's so different from people my age that is hard to relate to them beyond superficial conversations. I also can't relate to what seems to be the typical neet story of dropping out of uni or not entering it after HS. It's different from that, and I don't want to blogpost in detail right now.
I don't mean to pry too much, but I do have a question.
Did your parents not put you in school at all or were you homeschooled? You don't have to answer in detail.
>Neeting does make your brain rusty at socializing
I'm coming from a strange childhood background where I did not meet the proper developmental milestones for social skills, so I don't feel like my social skills are as innate and hardwired as others. During the summer break for university, it is as if I lost all of the progress I made in learning how to speak to people. I went from being able to strike people up to barely being able to make eye contact anymore, stuttering like a motherfucker, and every encounter feeling like a life or death situation. It's suprising how quick a persons social skills can go.
>> No. 28833 [Edit]
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28833
My childhood was extremely fucked. My mother was this huge narcissist and she got super angry and that got onto me and started acting out at school. It got so bad i got sent to this place where a bunch of kids are in the same pot as me. That place never helped what so ever.
>> No. 28834 [Edit]
>>28833
Same person.

I have changed a whole lot since then.
>> No. 28835 [Edit]
>>28832
I had a normal childhood and the best grades in my class in elementary, then I became a loner in middle school and my grades dropped. I was shy and panicked like in the examples you gave in your post. Exclusion is its own form of bullying, some of them thought I was dumb. When I finally started making fake friends near the end of it, my parents put me in a small HS for people with disabilities of all ages, where you can graduate at your own pace, whenever you want, because I started acting out and ¨that wasn't who I was¨. I'm skipping A LOT of traumatizing details here. Robbing me of my HS debut wasn't a decision they took lightly, and I do wonder how my life would've turned out.

That's when I became a fake neet, and much more of a loner. I don't have a disability so I couldn't relate to others much there, besides knowing we were outcasts of society. Keep in mind, it was a small class with students around my age or older who were deaf, mute, blind, in wheelchairs, etc. I only knew one high functioning autist (aspie back then) who cleared the doubts I used to have of me being one, after I saw him miss obvious social cues.

I missed most of my classes and had fun at home ¨recovering¨, until I had a wake up call that made me decide to work hard to finally become a nee-, I mean, to graduate but the pandemic forced the school close for 2 years before I had the chance take my final exam. Now I'm a neet in my 20s who missed both the shared experience of HS and Uni at their normal age. Someone finishing it later because they failed classes or switched careers is still better than what happened to me. Worse than that, my degree says I graduated from a school for people with disabilities, limiting my options.
I don't want anyone new I meet to find out about my past and I actively avoid the topic.
Recently, I finished playing Yakuza:Like a Dragon and although I wasn't a fan of what they did to the gameplay; for better or worse, I could relate to the mindset of the main villain all throughout the game, especially in its final scenes. Its social commentary on what being looked down upon and underestimated does to people is accurate. I'm rambling at this point. You asked nicely, so I felt I had to reply. I guess this is what I wanted to write and deleted in my first post.


Post edited on 14th Mar 2024, 5:57am
>> No. 28839 [Edit]
>>28835
It was interesting to hear your story. I apologize if it made you uncomfortable to write it out.
>Robbing me of my HS debut wasn't a decision they took lightly, and I do wonder how my life would've turned out.
I feel the same, except I missed out on all of my K-12 schooling. I don't think I would have ended up on imageboards like these if I was properly socialized.
>Worse than that, my degree says I graduated from a school for people with disabilities, limiting my options.
Are you sure it will limit you that badly? I technically don't have a high school diploma but managed to get accepted into a top-ranking university. (didn't go, but I'm not going to elaborate on that) I don't know if I should try to get a high school diploma, or if it will look sketchy with all of these completed college classes.
>I don't want anyone new I meet to find out about my past and I actively avoid the topic.
I feel the same way, but I don't know how to avoid the school topic. I usually tell people that I have had a non-traditional background and leave it at that. I used to be way more ashamed, like you used to be, but I've put less effort into concealing it than I once did. It's not like I'll tell the person, but if I get to know them and trust them, and they ask, then I'll oblige.
>Recently, I finished playing Yakuza:Like a Dragon and although I wasn't a fan of what they did to the gameplay; for better or worse, I could relate to the mindset of the main villain all throughout the game, especially in its final scenes. Its social commentary on what being looked down upon and underestimated does to people is accurate. I'm rambling at this point. You asked nicely, so I felt I had to reply. I guess this is what I wanted to write and deleted in my first post.
Looked down upon and underestimated is a great way to put it. Before I had any strong academic background, people legitimately thought I was retarded because I didn't know division at an age where people are entering college. The last person I opened up to treated me as if I lacked any common sense and didn't treat me normally after they learned, which is why I am more careful now. I have worked profoundly hard to get myself on an equal level to others. I feel like I can't even relate to a lot of people on imageboards because of this. I wish I knew what it was like to sit in a classroom with other students or take the schoolbus. I pretty much have no common ground with anybody, and I'm not socialized normally, at all. I know there's a lot of things that I am doing that are considered faux paus, but no one will tell me because they are being polite. There are social things I should have learned in Kindergarten. I just want a normal life.
>> No. 28841 [Edit]
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>>28835
>I only knew one high functioning autist (aspie back then) who cleared the doubts I used to have of me being one, after I saw him miss obvious social cues.
You have to keep in mind that autism is a spectrum. Just because you noticed someone with autism exhibiting symptoms that you don't, doesn't automatically mean you're not on the spectrum as well. I'm not saying you're on the spectrum, but you shouldn't interpret this observation as definitive proof that you aren't either.
>>28839
>I don't think I would have ended up on imageboards like these if I was properly socialized.
This optimism is naive... I graduated high school and so did most people who use imageboards probably, if anything school can very possibly damage social skills and make it even more likely that you'll end up a shut-in imageboard addict.
>I wish I knew what it was like to sit in a classroom with other students or take the schoolbus.
>I feel like I can't even relate to a lot of people on imageboards because of this.
If you went to school, you could have very easily been one of countless victims of common bullying. Which would leave you damaged for life and make you regress even further socially. Trust me, you wouldn't have been able of achieving any sort of academical success if you had to deal with cognitive impairment inducing mental illness caused by constant fear of being assaulted verbally and physically, you can't even imagine the things that happen in rural schools. You think Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold would have been better off homeschooled or getting brutally bullied in high school?
So if things went well for you in school, you'd have gone through an experience that's nothing worth writing home about. If things went negatively then you would have your life ruined. Doesn't seem like a risk worth taking it, does it? I don't mean to invalidate your problems, but in this regard I'd consider myself lucky if I were you.

Post edited on 15th Mar 2024, 12:06pm
>> No. 28842 [Edit]
I appreciate you taking the time to respond. I am happy to hear an outside perspective on this issue.
>if anything school can very possibly damage social skills
I agree with this to some extent, but there are still some skills you pick up that you can not learn in complete isolation. Even for those who were bullied, they are still "in tune" in a way that I am not.

>If you went to school, you could have very easily been one of countless victims of common bullying.
Why assume that I was not bullied? I very much experienced bullying. I received it from kids in the neighborhood because my mannerisms were odd from being severely isolated. I received it from both my parents and siblings. I received it from other outside family members. Only, the difference was is that I was trapped and isolated. Being severely isolated and being trapped in a dark house for months and years on in is a massively aggravating factor. It removed what chances I've had at forming a concrete support network, and I do not mean to imply that it was guaranteed that I would have formed one, but that those opportunities were taken away from me.

>Trust me, you wouldn't have been able of achieving any sort of academical success if you had to deal with cognitive impairment inducing mental illness caused by constant fear of being assaulted verbally and physically
It still stands that more opportunities are available for highschool graduates than those who are not. I have an insanely hard time with scholarships and financial aid because of my own lack of documentation. I was removed from the ability to get full-tuition scholarships, and now I struggle immensely to get aid because they are reserved for those fresh out of highschool. I'm competing with people who have 12 years of social and academic experience before me.

>You think Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold would have been better off homeschooled or getting brutally bullied in high school?
Weren't they they bullies themselves? They had friends. They had a community. Fuck those two twats.

>So if things went well for you in school, you'd have gone through an experience that's nothing worth writing home about.
Why do I constantly hear people reminiscing about high school, then? Why is it considered such a major milestone in life? How come people were shitting their pants about not being able to go to prom or graduation because of COVID? What about complaining about missing not being able to see their friends during COVID? What about the complaints about distance learning? You can't just tell me that it is "nothing worth writing home about," if everything went well. If it did, then it's clearly becomes an integral part of their life.


Post edited on 15th Mar 2024, 4:34pm
>> No. 28843 [Edit]
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28843
>>28842
>Why do I constantly hear people reminiscing about high school, then?
1. Because they're normalfags
2. It's the pre-work part of life people remember best.

As somebody who had short-lived acquaintanceships, but no real friends throughout highschool, and spent any time I could away from other people in the nurse's office or whenever, it's wasn't amazing. Not having any real worries or obligations is what I miss about it, but even in that regard, middle school was better. It's understandable though you feel you've missed out. Maybe you'd have benefited from the social aspect, but I don't think it makes the difference between happiness and unhappiness later in life.
>> No. 28844 [Edit]
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28844
>>28842
I don't have much to argue with you about. If you were already bullied outside of school then I don't see how it possibly could have been better inside of it, where you would be stuck in a class room with your bullies for years of end. Most people hate school, what they reminisce about is being free of responsibility and the social experiences they had which would have existed with or without school, not about high school itself. These positive social experiences would have most likely not existed for you and you would only be left with the negative.

>I received it from kids in the neighborhood because my mannerisms were odd from being severely isolated.
Is that the primary reason? Or is it autism? When I observe people discuss being dissatisfied with their lives and the reasons as to why that is, they will look at external factors and the effect that it had on them, but they won't look at themselves, and they will not make mention of clinical terms related to neuro-divergence, primarily autism. Probably because they don't want to acknowledge that they're "different" and not "normal", since in their minds these words are synonymous with inferior and superior. This is caused by these terms usually being utilized in a derogatory manner.
If you had issues with socialization at an early age and still do I think it's obvious that the cause is your genetics rather than lack of experience, although lack of experience certainly contributes.

Overall my opinion is that your optimism is misplaced. Although I'm speaking from the perspective of someone who was never interested in a career, maybe I would feel the way that you do even if I was, that I would have been willing to risk myself if it meant being able to achieve certain goals as an adult.
School in reality is nothing like it is in anime. I think your assumption that having attended a public school could have lead to a better life lies in the realm of fantasy and you're frustrating yourself needlessly. However, you're free to fantasize as you please. It doesn't really make a difference, life is terrible either way, but it can always be more terrible.
>> No. 28845 [Edit]
>>28844
>where you would be stuck in a class room with your bullies for years of end
Does my situation not already imply that this is happening.

>which would have existed with or without school
How can you say that, though? When you are surrounded with similar age peers, socialization is far more likely to occur although not guaranteed. "Socialization" may be far more likely to take place when you are surrounded by people.

>Is that the primary reason? Or is it autism? When I observe people discuss being dissatisfied with their lives and the reasons as to why that is, they will look at external factors and the effect that it had on them, but they won't look at themselves, and they will not make mention of clinical terms related to neuro-divergence, primarily autism. Probably because they don't want to acknowledge that they're "different" and not "normal", since in their minds these words are synonymous with inferior and superior. This is caused by these terms usually being utilized in a derogatory manner.
I think you're spot on, actually, on that assessment. I have considerably looked at myself, but it's challenging to make an honest assessment because of that lack of experience. I, personally, don't view autism in a negative light - I see it as simply a matter of being wired differently. But yes, this is something I've thought about as a possibility. I've kind of gone on and off about it - am I just autistic? or was I isolated for far too long? Is it a combination of both? I regularly think, "Is there something wrong with me?" really not just referring to just autism but anything. Is my personality defunct? I'm not sure.
I honestly don't know, though. I think the effects on missing out on certain milestones can be pretty radical. I've read things about the overlaps with the symptoms of autism and social isolation. There was one article I read about people becoming isolated as a result of something (can't remember what) and then it became extremely difficult for them to handle living in the every day world. Are you autistic, yourself? I don't mean to ask it in a harsh way, but I am curious.

>If you had issues with socialization at an early age and still do I think it's obvious that the cause is your genetics rather than lack of experience, although lack of experience certainly contributes.
When I said "kid," it was misleading. I don't think I started having troubles until puberty. At the same time, it's really hard to tell because my experiences out in the world were spotty. The vague experiences I had as a small child were quite good. There were times where I was on the precipice of making a friend, but my parents never followed up or intentionally prevented me from doing so.

>School in reality is nothing like it is in anime. I think your assumption that having attended a public school could have lead to a better life lies in the realm of fantasy and you're frustrating yourself needlessly. However, you're free to fantasize as you please. It doesn't really make a difference, life is terrible either way, but it can always be more terrible.
My perceptions of school come not from "anime" but from the experiences other people tell me about. I'm no longer isolated like I once was, and I hate hearing my coworkers and classmates around me blab on about these experiences - both the positive and the negative. As for your last point, I will keep that view in mind - that it could always be worse, and I appreciate you bringing that up because it can be easy to lose sight of thinking about what we do have in favor of thinking about what we don't. Again, I appreciate you taking the time to craft these thoughtful responses. I really enjoyed reading them, and I will keep everything you said in mind.

>> No. 28846 [Edit]
why are all the replies spoilered?
>> No. 28847 [Edit]
File 171056016922.png - (45.71KB , 233x184 , yayoi lurk.png )
28847
>>28846
they don't want us to eavesdrop...
>> No. 28851 [Edit]
File 17106359466.jpg - (45.88KB , 709x480 , shktn.jpg )
28851
>>28839
>>28841
>>28843
>Are you sure it will limit you that badly?
Compared to the average person with the same level of education as me, yes. I'm planning to go to university once I'm ready. Maybe, I will have to force myself to get a job and move forward first, but I've been more active this year. Not looking forward to the generational gap.
>...if I get to know them and trust them, and they ask, then I'll oblige.
Good for you, I still have issues trusting others and circumvent the truth often. If it's someone I know I'll never see again, I straight up lie to them. Your story was interesting to read too.

>You have to keep in mind that autism is a spectrum. Just because...
Yes, I'm aware of that. I know I'm not autistic because I read a lot about mental illnesses at the time. That person was as functional as you could get (he finished HS before me) and still had less common traits that I've never seen in any other socially awkward student or me before. He had a monotone voice even when asking questions and paused mid sentence to remember what he was about to say. I used to get along more with some teachers there because I could relate to them more than the students. Sorry If my post came off as insensitive, he was a nice person.
>they will not make mention of clinical terms related to neuro-divergence, primarily autism
Undiagnosed ADD/ADHD might be the cause. I started drinking coffee, specifically, to stop myself from walking back and forth one day when I was trying to watch something while home alone and couldn't focus. I used it to self-medicate in my teens until I had an accidental overdose. I vividly remember being scared, seeing my hands shake and feeling my heartbeat at what I estimate to be over 100bpm.
But as I said, I had a normal childhood up until middle school. Me and my brother are still friends with some of the kids in our neighborhood 20+ years later. The way kids become friends is different from the way pubescent teens do and I couldn't adapt at first, that's all. The shyness I used to have when meeting new people came from childhood trauma by my parents and it was the reason I rebelled against them (like any other teenager), only to be put down harder, but that's enough of that. I'm better at managing where I put my attention now after a lot of work and my brain fully developing.


>I wish I knew what it was like to sit in a classroom with other students or take the schoolbus. I pretty much have no common ground with anybody, and I'm not socialized normally, at all.
>...Maybe you'd have benefited from the social aspect, but I don't think it makes the difference between happiness and unhappiness later in life.
It doesn't but the bittersweet experiences of missing classes, eating lunch in bathrooms and the ¨relationships¨ with those short-lived acquaintances I personally prefer to avoid now, are still something that make people relate to each other later in life, in the same way people around the same age can relate better with others from their generation.
>I'm no longer isolated like I once was, and I hate hearing my coworkers and classmates around me blab on about these experiences - both the positive and the negative.
For me, the real problem is the alienation from hearing others talk about it so often. I can't imagine what is like to be you in that aspect. speaking fondly of that time period is common for normalfags and it feels alienating every time they bring it up. I agree with the sentiment here that is useless to romanticize it or worrying about it, there's nothing else I can do.

Since you posted Tomoko, I just want to say that Watamote is worth reading just to get to chapter 122. I read it wasn't as popular as it should've been because she wasn't relatable in a good way compared to someone like Bocchi and it hit too close to home for some people. I need to catch up with it at some point, in Japanese this time. I remember it had furigana so it should be easy. I'm rambling again.
>>28847
>>28846
heh. there is something comforting in spoiling blogposts.

Post edited on 16th Mar 2024, 5:47pm
>> No. 28852 [Edit]
>>28851
>Not looking forward to the generational gap.
I can't say what it will be like at the university you go to, but I know at mine, there are wide variety of students from all age groups. I know it skews upwards. I've seen 50-60 year olds on campus, and I know a person who graduated when they were nearly 70. I feel like it's a lot easier once you pass 18 because the growth has slowed down somewhat compared to when you are younger.

>If it's someone I know I'll never see again, I straight up lie to them.
Interesting. I'm usually more bold (won't go balls to the wall) if I know I won't see them again.

>Me and my brother are still friends with some of the kids in our neighborhood 20+ years later.
I'm happy to hear that. It's great to have some long-standing connections, and I feel that is the area where I falter most. It feels hard to get in anywhere because people prioritize their long-term friendships over the new ones. It's like they are not open to making any new friends. I've personally given up on trying to make new friends.

>I personally prefer to avoid now, are still something that make people relate to each other later in life, in the same way people around the same age can relate better with others from their generation.
You hit the nail on the head on what I wanted to say. Thank you. Essentially, a lack of shared experiences makes it harder to connect with others later.

>For me, the real problem is the alienation from hearing others talk about it so often. I can't imagine what is like to be you in that aspect. speaking fondly of that time period is common for normalfags and it feels alienating every time they bring it up. I agree with the sentiment here that is useless to romanticize it or worrying about it, there's nothing else I can do.
I can relate to that feeling of alienation. Right now, I am trying to accept my circumstances - I have been dabbling in stoicism. But, it's hard when you are surrounded by these things, having constant reminders shoved in your face. I always feel like I'm much happier at home indulging in books because it takes me away from these things. I enjoy when I can create new things and essentially create my own world.

>> No. 28870 [Edit]
File 171162479781.png - (320.65KB , 795x595 , tumblr_m29fc8RYpf1qjdxroo1_1280.png )
28870
I hate my work and I suck at socializing, and I have to communicate and be a part of group dynamics all day. I wish I learned something like coding so I could do my own thing, or be a bird scholar or something so I could watch birds all day. Or better, be a bird.
>> No. 28929 [Edit]
i stupidly thought i had made a friend at work, and reached out to them when i was a delusional wreck since im a schizophrenic since i always hear that "i have to trust others" and shit like that. after promising they wouldn't call the cops for me feeling suicidal they ended up actually doing it after i had calmed down and promised not to hurt myself. i fucking hate humans why did i fool myself into believing they give a shit. how am i the pathologic one i didnt lie through my teeth about being friends and breaking promises.
>> No. 28930 [Edit]
Life just sucks in general
>> No. 28932 [Edit]
>>28929
Cried reading this.
>> No. 28934 [Edit]
>>28929
Never trust other people. The issue is they think they're doing you a "favor" because they are fundamentally selfish and view themselves as being a "savior"; that by itself wouldn't be an issue (in fact anyone who says they aren't selfish is lying), but the other issue is that all normalfags seem to absolutely recoil from issues of suicide. Ironically despite having no problem with abortion, rarely will you find people in support of right to die.
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