NEET is not a label, it's a way of life!
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19645 No. 19645 [Edit]
Why are you unhappy, /tc/?
182 posts omitted. Last 50 shown. Expand all images
>> No. 27123 [Edit]
Sometimes I really miss the freedom of NEET life. Work and people stress me out.
>> No. 27189 [Edit]
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Failed artist is a simple version, but even if I did have the ability, I don't even want anything beyond being left alone and to create what I wish to create, but because I'm a failure I can't do that. I'm still creating, don't want to stop, but no matter how many projects I do I'll always just have more, and none of them will pay the bills because my projects I make for me and no one wants to commission me anyways.

I'm being pushed into teaching, I work in schools now but kids give you little respect and empty praises. It's rare I get an opportunity to teach what I care about and feel in my element. Not only that but I'm also a constant fuck-up. I've actually gotten fired from 3 schools, only one of which I did something that I'd say I deserved termination for. But even though no failure is the same, I always wonder how I'm gonna fuck up next.

Even if I got the life of dreams* (that can be achieved in this cursed 3D world anyways), I don't even know if I'd be happy. I'm lonely, but I don't want to be bothered with company. I want the perfect laifu with waifu but I know I'm not perfect for her no matter how much I love her.

So really because I don't know what I want, everything feels like I'm not in control of everything, and I wish I was just not a fuck-up.
>> No. 27190 [Edit]
>no one wants to commission me anyways
Show us your portfolio.
>> No. 27191 [Edit]
With all due respect, I'd rather remain anonymous.
>> No. 27192 [Edit]
With all due respect, I'd rather remain anonymous.
>> No. 27193 [Edit]
You don't have an artist pseudonym?
>> No. 27194 [Edit]
I do, but anonymous in the imageboard sense. I wouldn't post things like "This cursed 3D world" while having something that could be traced back to me, you know?

I appreciate the thought however.
>> No. 27195 [Edit]
You probably already know this, but I feel it needs to be said: You'd make a lot more money if you were more shameless. I solicited you to advertise yourself, and you didn't take the offer. Even if I didn't pay you, someone here might have. I know for a fact a few people here have paid for commissions.

It might come back to this
>I don't even want anything beyond being left alone and to create what I wish to create

A shameless person proactively advertises themself(let alone if they're asked to) and draws whatever they're paid to. Regardless of skill, if you are a better artist than those paying you, and you're willing to follow others' directions, you can make money.

Post edited on 18th Mar 2022, 12:31pm
>> No. 27198 [Edit]
This just isn't the thread for that, I didn't want to present myself here, I wanted to be vulnerable here. Sorry.

Any efforts at putting myself out there just feel futile, pissing in this ocean of piss we call an internet, so I'm just focusing on doing what I do and putting things out when they're done.
>> No. 27228 [Edit]
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I think every year, usually around the start of spring, sometimes fall, I have a "revelation", where I decide to commit to some life change.

For a few months, I'll stick with it, but sooner or later, I fall back into bad habits. Most of my life seems spent in an unproductive stupor.

How many "revelations" have I had up until now? Has any of it stuck? Have I progressed in any meaningful way? Why do I keep being dragged back into the same old shit?
>> No. 27229 [Edit]
What sort of life changes?
>> No. 27230 [Edit]
Going to bed at a normal hour everyday. Exercising. Studying hard. Stuff like that.
>> No. 27231 [Edit]
>Going to bed at a normal hour everyday. Exercising. Studying hard. Stuff like that.
I don't think those are very "bad" habits on the scale of bad habits, all things considered.

For the going to bed at normal hour, you probably already considered this but avoiding any bright or blue-ish light exposure 2 hours before you want to sleep (flux/nightshift-type stuff may not be sufficient, you may have to get a 1800k red-orange bulb and use that, spend the time reading or relaxing or something) can help. Also combine that with bright sun exposure right after you wake up to nudge the circadian rhythm back in the right direction.
>> No. 27251 [Edit]
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I hate being sick all the time. I'm always so tired, and have little energy. I've been making progress in my life by going back to uni and I received an academic award last semester. Is there a way to increase energy? I have problems staying up past 10 hours.
I thought self-improvement would help with the energy, but I'm afraid that with aging, I'll be worst off without intervention.
Even without energy, I will continue to write, draw, exercise, and improve my life even if I collapse again, it still makes me sad that I can't put more effort into my life.
>> No. 27269 [Edit]
My siblings were bequeathed above average intelligence while this one is consigned to reside on the left side of the bell curve. Envy and other nasty facets of man is the icing on the cake.
>> No. 27276 [Edit]
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The normals are conspiring to prevent my awakening. Due to their insolent meddling my powers have been retarded. At this rate I am going to be forced to commit seppuku before my plan is complete.
>> No. 27322 [Edit]
I hate how much of a disappointment I am. I can't talk to my dad at all out of shame. The family members I live with probably look down on me. I can hardly go outside before midnight unless I really have to because it feels like everyone knows how much of a loser I am. I never wanted to admit it before, but it causes me to panic. Maybe it's not visible, but even crossing paths with someone I try to think of what I should do or say in the off chance they say something.
I used to make people proud and achieved pretty great things just a few years ago. I think that only makes things worse. Even recently, my dad would say something along the lines of "I'm proud of you, son." It makes me feel sick to my stomach. I'm just a damn failure right now. Save it for when I finally do something.
I also have a lot of regrets, especially with everything after finishing school. I don't regret being a NEET. I do regret constantly telling myself I'll do this and that for two years. If I was just honest with myself, that I wasn't going to get a job or go to school, I'd be further along.
It feels like I've developed more in the past couple months than I have in years before that.
>> No. 27323 [Edit]
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I don't know how many times I've said this, but I have to say it again. I am an evil person. I don't care about others. I'd sacrifice them for personal gain without much hesitation. Also, I dislike those who are different from me. The more different, the more I dislike them.

At the same time, I have an uncontrollable urge to interact with others. I can't help myself. I can't feel content in total isolation. I feel helpless and alone and believe nothing can change that. There's no conclusion to this post. There's no answers out there.
>> No. 27324 [Edit]
Have you talked to a doctor about this? It sounds like you might have a sociopath mental disorder which they might be able to help treat.
>> No. 27325 [Edit]
No. I don't have access to such things.
>> No. 27326 [Edit]
You're normal, and most people only pretend to care about others ("virtue signaling" is what I guess it's called nowadays). We're tribal people, and people will not think twice about throwing someone outside their tribe under the bus.

It's just that people have different selectivities for what they consider to be their tribe. In your case it's highly specific, so you effectively end up being a lone tribe of n=1.
>> No. 27329 [Edit]
People in my life have constantly brought me down, mocked me, abused me. And now as an adult, they expect me to integrate with the same people that made my life hell.
"Why don't you talk to anyone? Don't you want friends?" As if they weren't the kind of person to reject me back then if I dared to open my mouth. What the fuck?
There's nothing wrong about not living by the standards imposed onto you by them. It just stresses me that they're constantly fucking at it, begging and pleading.
I think I'd be happier as a hermit, away from other judgmental people.
>> No. 27330 [Edit]
It's really fucking stupid, but I still sometimes drink myself to sleep thinking about how I wiped my old hard drive that had over a decade worth of my history on the internet saved on it. It's something that I can't go more than a couple days thinking about at least once and it sours the whole day.
>> No. 27331 [Edit]
What sort of history? Do you mean browser history, or saved files etc.?
>> No. 27332 [Edit]
Lot of media, mostly images, and a lot of random photoshops/websites/writing I'd made over the years since middle school when I first had good internet access. I've lived my whole life online so this harddrive was essentially a record of my life, though admittedly one that only I could understand. It had everything I'd saved/made from 2005 until 2018. Was a small archive of the old internet even without the sentimental value it had to me.
It feels stupid writing about it but it truly fucked me up losing that thing.
>> No. 27333 [Edit]
The writings and other personal things seem hard to replace, but surely a lot of the photos videos and so on you can track down again can't you? And if it means that much to you, have you looked into data recovery?
>> No. 27334 [Edit]
If you haven't used it since then, and you didn't explicitly zero out free space, there's a decent chance non-plaintext data (images, etc.) are still available. But I'll assume that you've tried recovery tools and they were fruitless...

Post edited on 27th Apr 2022, 8:44pm
>> No. 27335 [Edit]
I chose very thorough settings on the tool I was using unfortunately. I was supposed to target the very old and busted laptop ssd I was going to use as a temporary OS drive. Couldn't recover anything.
>surely a lot of the photos videos and so on you can track down again can't you?
Some stuff I did hunt down specifically, other things I've seen here and there and saved as I recognize them. Getting my hands on some of the more obscure shows/games I had was a bit tough but I did manage to find much of what I'd lost on that front. It's just not feasible to hunt down the images unfortunately, which are what I miss most. Too many hyper-specific things and just too much in general honestly. Well over 30k images were on that drive, there's no way it's all making it back even if I went on a best-stuff-only basis.
>> No. 27361 [Edit]
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My sister is pregnant again. Her and her boyfriend are unwilling to work, so my mom has to take care of them and their kid. If I say anything about it, whoever will say that I can't say anything because I'm a NEET and no different from them.
I say that's fucking bullshit. I don't leave messes for other people to clean up, I take care of my shit, I'm not going to have a bunch of children I can't support like some third-world nigger.
I'm worried I'll end up getting forced out of the house or something. There's not enough space even for the one kid they have now. If I get forced out, I'll have to move in with my dad and get a job... Even if I didn't, my dad's 3DPD has kids about my age and so I'd be on full display to strangers. What's the point of having a home if you have to deal with strangers constantly?
Goddamn it. Normalfags ruin everything. I just wanted to live a life of peace and seclusion, damn it. Fuck. I'm scared. I'm absolutely terrified that I'm going to get fucked over like this. I'm finally feeling pretty good about life, and it's just going to get shattered.
>> No. 27362 [Edit]
>If I get forced out, I'll have to move in with my dad and get a job
That's sounds preferable to staying.
>> No. 27363 [Edit]
Honestly in that situation i'd probably rather just work, part time if you can get away with it
Having a couple with child hanging around your place constantly sounds awful. Women basically get a free pass if they have a kid to never have to worry about anything ever again but I'm surprised your mom tolerates her boyfriend doing nothing.
I say that as someone who was a NEET for over 5 years, idk,
Perhaps I'm blessed in that my family basically always left me alone when I needed it. These days I just work from home and don't deal with anyone so I suppose that's something you could try and aim toward if it's possible for you.
>> No. 27364 [Edit]
Yeah, and depending on where he lives, he might be able to rent a place, work for eight months, be a NEET for the next three or four, work again, be a NEET, and repeat. It's not ideal, but also not too bad.
>> No. 27365 [Edit]
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>Honestly in that situation i'd probably rather just work
Working just feels so pointless. I don't really have any wants, my basic needs are met as is. If I worked, I'd just spend it all on stupid stuff. It'd also require me to be around other people, and I'm just so tired of people. I'd rather be here where I can just keep to myself and do my own thing. No need to be polite and feign interest in other people and what they say.
I could go on and on about why I'm a NEET. Every reason's another shitty excuse.
>Having a couple with child hanging around your place constantly sounds awful.
You get used to it. The baby isn't that noisy. My sister and her boyfriend though? Another story.
>I'm surprised your mom tolerates her boyfriend doing nothing.
She constantly bitches about it. If she tells him to get a job or get the fuck out, he and my sister threaten to never let her see her granddaughter again. It's an obnoxious situation all around.
>Perhaps I'm blessed in that my family basically always left me alone when I needed it.
They generally ignore me unless they have something to bitch about. Everyone vents to me because I'm not an asshole. Sometimes my sister will accuse me of being a drug addict or something behind my back, but I haven't done anything like that since I was in school. No money for it anyway.

I could complain all night, but I'd rather not. I'll just consider my options going forward.
>> No. 27366 [Edit]
I think the main point is being able to live on your own the way you want and support yourself. Also, it's possible to get work at home jobs. They're a lot more common now thanks to covid.
>> No. 27367 [Edit]
>Working just feels so pointless. I don't really have any wants, my basic needs are met as is.
You captured this well. Basically the only reason I remain alive is that at the moment the effort required to do so being a neet is minimal enough. Putting in any amount of non-trivial effort, e.g. "rent a place, work for eight months" seems rather pointless unless you dedlude yourself into thinking you have some grand goal in life (which is what I assume 99% of normalfags end doing).
>> No. 27368 [Edit]
I have no skills and my only work experience is a couple months as a janitor. I really don't have much going for me.
In a case of life or death, I'd probably work. Wouldn't cry if I died though. I'm still young. I still have fun. This is a case of work or shit.
>> No. 27423 [Edit]
I hastily took responsibility for an imageboard earlier this year. It's not a big handful or anything but I kind of hate it. Moderating sucks. I wake up every few hours to make sure there isn't child porn or something. It takes the fun out of posting as well, not that I wasn't ready to move on from the board in the first place. I just didn't want to see it die the way it seemed it would.
I've relaxed a bit in the past months. I don't care to expand or anything. I guess I'm just hoping it'll die on it's own. No guilt for taking it away from the couple of regulars that have been around for probably longer than I have...
I'll see if I can pass off my ownership to someone. It's not like I'm doing anything with it.
>> No. 27424 [Edit]
Welcome to my world buddy!
>> No. 27425 [Edit]
Do you ever regret it Tohno?

Post edited on 19th May 2022, 8:12pm
>> No. 27426 [Edit]
From what I've gathered, tc is one of the few positive things in Tohno's life.
>> No. 27427 [Edit]
I'd be lying if I said there haven't been times. It's been stressful at times, got banned from paypal because of TC, lost some friends because of it, made some others because of it. Probably missed out on a few opportunities because of it too. Keeping the peace has been hard, that's for sure. In the past people would keep pushing issues that would divide the user base and expect me to pick sides, I'd try to avoid that most of the time but either way it'd hurt the community all the same.
I guess I haven't lost too much money on the site at least. I'm not making a cent off it, but it's not as expensive to maintain as some might think. In the end it's all I've really got though. I can't really see myself hanging out in too many other places. I've tried joining other communities and rarely like what I find there. The internet has been ruined by normies, and there's just not many places left to turn to anymore. For better or worse this is my home.
>> No. 27428 [Edit]
Tohno, this place is truly a time capsule of the old internet. This community while sometimes flawed reminds me of happier times of my youth. I miss the old imageboard4free & *chan cultures, but they're long dead.
As I get closer to my 30s, I realize that we're a decreasing minority on the internet. The internet is normie-centric and it's so hard to find websites that have people like us on it now.
Don't ever close Tohno-chan, I will buy it from you and keep it running until I die if you ever lose interest.
>> No. 27429 [Edit]
For what it's worth, TC has quickly become my favorite site. It just feels right. Even something as small as the caption on the homepage makes me feel right at home. Thanks for sticking around.
>> No. 27441 [Edit]
I need to get a damn hobby. I suck at putting effort into things because I've never had to before. I've always gotten by through talent and the ability to follow simple directions.
I like a lot of things, but it's hard to stick with em.
>> No. 27468 [Edit]
2D isn't real, or more accurately, I'll never be 2D.
You watch anime.
You read manga.
You play visual novels.
But it's never enough.
>> No. 27547 [Edit]
I'm terrified. I'm so scared and it feels like there's nothing I can do about it. Too scared to do anything, afraid what will happen if I don't.
It's easy to fool yourself and make excuses, but it doesn't change the facts.
Even though I've identified this issue, I have no clue what to do now. I've hesitated for too long and I'll probably continue to do so until I don't have the option.
Who knows. No amount of writing will change anything.
>> No. 27553 [Edit]
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How do you deal with loneliness TC? It's been months since I've spoken any friends, and it seems harder and harder to scratch that itch. Now everything is super shitty and getting worse by the day and it's hard to talk about anything anywhere. I get an occasional bit of catharsis, but that usually involves doing reckless, pointless things only for things to go back to how they normally are after an hour or so. In my room I'm constantly stressed out over nothing and it only gets worse outside of it. I can't eat a lot of things without throwing up. I can't enjoy things without thinking about it all.
I just don't know about anything anymore. I'm not doing alright and I can't seem to do anything about it.
>> No. 27554 [Edit]
Accept it rather than fight it, that's all.
>> No. 27555 [Edit]
You get used to it over time. It's both a blessing and a curse in that you'll numb yourself to any negative feelings but that mutes positive feelings as well. Any poignant emptiness just gets replaced with a persistent bleh, a tired weariness of it all just waiting until nonexistence. Maybe you can watch a show or two and feel a few sparks of happiness or experience a flash of emotion, but things quickly normalize. Or maybe you listen to a song you used to like and rekindle a shadow, experiencing merely the memory of joy.

And now you'll be tasked with the issue of how to spend the time. When feelings are muted, you never really have any motivation to do anything. Maybe you drift about online, hit cmd-r on TC once every dozen minutes seeing if there's anything to do. Interestingly when both sadness/despair and joy are gone, annoyance is still left.
>> No. 27556 [Edit]
That's my usual routine, but sometimes it's just too hard to ignore. Sometimes I'll say "FUCK!" and run around outside all night, other times I just feel too hopeless to do anything at all.
I feel bad though, I dump my emotional outbursts here too often. I was going to delete my post now that I've calmed down, but it's a bit late for that.
I think I'll hoard some VNs so it'll be easier to find something to take my mind off of everything when I need it.
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