NEET is not a label, it's a way of life!
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19645 No. 19645 [Edit]
Why are you unhappy, /tc/?
69 posts omitted. Last 50 shown. Expand all images
>> No. 22807 [Edit]
>>22804

I'm still here, I just mainly idle in the IRC room. It's funny you mention 2010 because that's around when I joined, maybe 2011 or so. It was right as I was finishing school and being completely unsure about if I would end up being a NEET after graduating or not. Was able to hold parttime jobs for most of it, and a brief 4 month period of unemployment.

Those were interesting days, weren't they?
>> No. 22810 [Edit]
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22810
I don't know how to explain this. I love Japanese medias more than anything (anime manga VN LN art MMD etc) but the depression is too strong that I can't bring myself to consume them. I don't know how better to explain this. As a NEET living in his messy dirty room with piss and Dr Pepper bottles everywhere I have all the time in the world to consume such medias but I don't. Infact I avoid them. I tell myself "in this next life I will do this more than anybody else". It's weird. Idk. I don't know what's going on in my subconscious but I think might be postponing my own enjoyment because I feel like I am in turbulence right now. And I am saying I will do this in the next life because I am predicting my whole life will be this turbulence. I have read this is not something uncommon, children whose parents argue a lot tend to avoid the activities they enjoy because they want to save them for a better time. "It is difficult watching my favorite cartoons when my father is hitting my mother just the other side of the door, I avoid it". The human brain is so fucked up. I only have this life and as a NEET I could watch as many anime as time allowed it but I am avoiding it and even if I didn't it's so botjersome to put effort into anything that I would rather spend the rest of my life doing nothing but asking that I can enjoy things in this "second chance" life. On top of it all it sucks being a lunatic, delusional poorfag. I ask apologies to the world for witnessing me existing, I am an embarrassment, utterly stupid & pathetic.
>> No. 22812 [Edit]
>>22810
I think quite a few of us put off watching anime 'for a better time'.
What I have learnt is you keep putting things off and then when you want to do them, you have a big pile of things to do and it overwhelms you thus causing you distress.
So the best thing to do is do them as soon as you want to, and not put it off.
>> No. 22813 [Edit]
>>22810
I can feel you.
I don't even look at pictures of my waifu or listen to my favourite albums for more than half year now because i feel like i want to enjoy them when i will feel better.
It's been getting better lately but i still can't break up to do things i really like.
>> No. 22820 [Edit]
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22820
I have a job, I'm climbing up in my career, I'm earning decently for where I live. But I do not feel fulfilled, I do not work on things I really care about. Whenever I have some free time, I waste it on something irrelevant, instead of motivating myself towards productive work.
I want to achieve a lot, yet I am afraid of failure, so I am lost in the lands of apathy and lack of initiative to take action.
Minor inconvenience is also the lonely feeling.
>> No. 22822 [Edit]
>>19648

This same here anon.
>> No. 22838 [Edit]
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22838
My family is degrading, both transitively and intransitively.
Every time I interact with them I feel dirtied, and can't feel clean again until I've showered, so I mostly go through the day feeling ritually impure unless I specifically avoid them. It's not just that there's no way to avoid getting into arguments except by avoiding them, but when I act agreeable to them, I still feel dirty, for acting like a normalfag.
And they're degrading as a unit. My mother has always lashed out at my father for every imperfection (often legitimate, more often just not being able to read her irrational woman's mind) and he's always been a tactless idiot, but they've gotten to the point where they can't pay the bills, so she's screaming at him thrice a day, offering no actual solution.
And she's not fucking willing to make any sacrifices or even basic austerity to fix it. And both her and my sister are obese.
But my fucking college (which I consider a bad idea but they're too hyped on classism and fantasy to question it) is being paid out of some otherwise inaccessible retirement fund, so I'm kind of detached from the causes and results of all this, but not from the ambient consequences.

And then, god, I can't understand why normalfags need "freedom" and their casual, undevoted "relationships" and thoughtless "friendships" and to "live their own life" and their fucking liquor and trash television and whore-films and sodomy and usury.
I wish socialism would come so I could just live in a barren one-room apartment and Society would just come and clearly order me to do what it wants from me and everyone would live silently and in peace, rather than this degenerate, immoral, directionless, womanish, chaos-worship capitalism.
And I know I just have to accept all this as (the semi-Spinozist) God's (viz. τοῦ Λόγου) delight and irrevocable will, as what -exists- but normalfags don't just demand that (indeed, they don't even understand what that means), but they expect me to lie and pretend to be just like them and I won't do that.

I can't even fantasize about being with a 2d girl because I do believe she would never want to hold me and be held by me, and I don't want to insult her image of her beautiful & pure soul, and since I don't believe it's plausible it's unsatisfying. And worse this just leads to rape pseudo-fantasies that I always regret but have become so habitual over the years that I can't react at with any real disgust any more.

>>22813
This too, this so much.
>> No. 22839 [Edit]
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22839
>>22838
Is moving to a student dorm an option? You might end up with non-idiot roommates. The hell at home will just make you insane, sooner or later.
>> No. 22841 [Edit]
>>22838
>>22839
What this anon suggested is a good idea.
>And then, god, I can't understand why normalfags need "freedom"
Ironically, in this situation, "freedom" is the single, lone thing that can set you free and stop your misery. You have the freedom to get a job and start saving, the freedom to leave your parents behind to rot in their mental filth. You have the freedom to try becoming better and cleansing your life from your toxic surroundings. Freedom is the quintessential element of life, even if it's just an illusion. Never ever understimate "freedom", because if you ever truly reach rock bottom, that's the only thing that will help you.
>> No. 22843 [Edit]
>>22839
I assume you mean a dorm that's open during the summer? Even if I could afford such a room, I think I'd rather die than do such a thing. Indeed, I made clear to them from the start that I'd only attend college if I were absolutely assured a single room which thus far I've been able to seize (on medical grounds). Regardless of their flaws, at least I know my family and their limits, and at least they leave me with privacy. The same can't be said of unfamiliar 3dpd with disgusting, reeking bodies I'm unaccustomed to whom I can have no privacy from and whom I'm forced to sleep with.

I think what I wrote about my family came across wrongly. It's all true, but I meant it as a lament rather than as a complaint. I'm far more sad for them and their fall than I am upset about my own condition.

Sorry.
>> No. 22844 [Edit]
>>22843
I personally liked having roommates when I was 15-20. Now my sense of privacy has changed and that would be unacceptable.

>I think what I wrote about my family came across wrongly. It's all true, but I meant it as a lament rather than as a complaint. I'm far more sad for them and their fall than I am upset about my own condition.

I see.
>> No. 22851 [Edit]
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22851
I find humans disgusting.
>> No. 22872 [Edit]
i'm bored
>> No. 22924 [Edit]
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22924
like, I can't even begin to care nor understand how the proles/coloreds/queers live since I don't even understand how my own alleged class lives or why or what
this is the extent of my alienation, I doubt I have any veracious image of society and everything I do see I wish would die
really, if immortality & purification of the spirit isn't in the cards I really can't see what good comes of the rotting heap of humanity being left to emptily reshit itself indefinitely as everyone else seems to want
(each to his own &c. and that's why there are no Manichees left &c.)
>> No. 22925 [Edit]
I haven't been on this site since 2014. I Have spent most of the last three days reading the archive (I'm about 3/4 of the way through it) and now I'm sad that most of the posters here seem to have moved on.
>> No. 22926 [Edit]
>>22925
That's just how it is. It really can't be helped.
>> No. 22927 [Edit]
>>22926
Is the irc active? I never got into the irc before.
I'm going to try make a couple of posts here a week again.
>> No. 22928 [Edit]
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22928
>>22927
It's not that active but people do talk sometimes.
I look forward to your weekly posts.
>> No. 22930 [Edit]
>>22872
If I were you I'd consider myself one lucky bastard.
>> No. 22931 [Edit]
>>22820
I think you feel that way because you're forced to want your current life by our society when it's not what you truly desire. Happiness comes from within, right?

It's a really dark, disgusting impulse in humans that force us to behave the way we do, and to mold others to behave in the way they do. Our society doesn't value life and freedom, it values death and slavery, we just enjoy playing with the illusion of the former. But deep down we all want the universe to be silent again because we can't stand the sound of others talking.

A difficult problem. You can't live the way you want to when you're constrained by the fetters of "value".
>> No. 22975 [Edit]
I am not, I am just sad all the time at what I have to go through to protect my peaceful time.
I had the resolve, but now i'm finally going to take that step and move away.
I have dealt with all kinds of abuse throught my life,but recently, my family tried to sell of my external hard drive, to get me rid of all my "weird" ways.I cannot put it in words how much that hurt me. My whole world is inside that little box.
I'm working extremely hard physical job, if only to keep my little world safe.
I am finally going to protect what is mine for good.
>> No. 22981 [Edit]
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22981
>>19645
Because i have been a hikikomori for 10 years and pretty much feel too far gone now and thus i feel like i just merely exist now.
>> No. 22982 [Edit]
>>22981
Do you dislike being a hikikomori though? Or just dislike feeling chained by it?
>> No. 22985 [Edit]
>>22982

I guess its more the feeling of being chained by it.
>> No. 22993 [Edit]
My family is fucked up; because of my childhood I am terrible with most social interactions, particularly 3dpds; I have no friends I can talk to about stuff; I have no motivation even to do things I like; I have no skills that will be practical to make me money so I know I'm going to end up in a shitty dead end job.
>> No. 23000 [Edit]
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23000
>>22838
This anon is too pure for this world

Your post from start to end described my feelings too. I wrote a post to make you understand that there is at least one more person like you and to offer some advice, but I couldn't really express myself and get my point across.
I'm just going to say this.

Be courageous.
The rest will come on its own.
Remember, I'm cheering you on all the way from the bottom to the top!
>> No. 23006 [Edit]
You know what's worse than sadness?

Pure emptiness. Most people won't ever know that feeling. You need to digest the truth to feel that. Most people have the proper defense mechanisms to ignore that.
>> No. 23007 [Edit]
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23007
>>22838
>Every time I interact with them I feel dirtied, and can't feel clean again until I've showered, so I mostly go through the day feeling ritually impure
I think I know just what you mean. I want to pull off my skin so hard every time I remind myself I am the spawn of my parents' work. My genetic code is indistinguishable from theirs and I feel like I'm no better than this local community. No better than this disgusting folk, than these streets full of trash, than this crime and barbarism. I am a part of it and have been a part of it since birth. I would like to tell myself that I am different from this repugnant whole, but the harsh truth is I'd be just another normalfag if not for autism. In a way, I'm actually much worse than these people and this place because I'm just another one of them but with a mental disease that makes me even more stupid, useless and inhumane than I would have normally been born as.
>> No. 23010 [Edit]
>>23007
I really want to be family-focused but I can't help having the same thoughts.

Looking at my family history I can't help but feel cheated. A few generations ago we were so much better than this but now we're just rubbish.

I want to climb back up the ladder but I don't know if I can manage. Boomers got up there and pulled it up with them. And anyone seen constructing a ladder is regarded with scorn and distrust. Pieces of shit.
>> No. 23022 [Edit]
>>23007
Normalfag is the most disgusting form of human, impossible to be worse than that.
>> No. 23050 [Edit]
is emptiness not pure sadness
>> No. 23057 [Edit]
>>23050
Wouldn't emptiness include lack of feeling other than emptiness itself?
>> No. 23065 [Edit]
I'm half way to becoming a Ford driver. Jobs break a man.
>> No. 23066 [Edit]
>>23065
I don't find becoming a Ford Driver is possible. I don't see normaldry as a thing that can be switched on and off. I only mention this because such notion makes me unhappy.
>> No. 23303 [Edit]
>>22930
well, i'm also alone, unemployed, and poor.
>> No. 23304 [Edit]
>>23303
You have access to the internet. A vast endless sea of knowledge. You can see every film or animation ever made, listen to millions of songs, read from libraries worth of bookes, play more games than anyone has time for. You can learn a language, find a new hobby, study new skills and more. Of course there's also more porn than a person could hope to imagine. Yet, there you are, being bored.
>> No. 23307 [Edit]
>>23304
yeah it sucks
>> No. 23325 [Edit]
The gap between having a job and being a hikikomori is too big. I want to get a job but I'm scared shitless I'll sign myself up for something not just hard but impossible and waste everybodys time by applying.
School has poisoned me. Everytime you do something right and get comfortable with a task they turn it up on you creating a constant rate of high anxiety and failure.
Dropping out of college I have this mindset that any kind of job will be too big for me. When I look at people bagging groceries and imagine myself I get stressed out wondering which things go in the same bag or something, if you need to be good at math to figure out a cash register, all sorts of things even though I always see potatoes doing it like they were born in the produce section.
Like, I don't think I'm terribley incompetent. When I get comfortable I think I'm actually pretty sharp. The problem is I'm a self taught book studying kind of student. When people try to teach me directly I get so focused on being polite and looking attentive I can't think straight. Then when I get confronted about messing I get so scared I mentally shut down. Worse case scenario they read my frozen up anxiety attack as spacy laziness and start coming down on me until I start crying and feel too embaressed to return.
I think if I can just get some time to learn some simple job until it's first nature, memorize the typical interactions I'm going to have to form a loose script I can wing everything else.
Some of you guys have probably had trouble getting a job because of anxiety. Are there any resources for job training? Books? Guides? Online classes? I want so badly to just see the perspective of a simple worker for a few days to pick up the habits and see what's right for me.
>> No. 23326 [Edit]
>>23325
Sound just like me.
No experience fixing it but from my observations on normies, they don't think about failure. We think about the trouble we might cause or how it might all be a waste of time, they don't.

So it would seem to be more a personality thing than a knowledge thing. Surely, we don't lack the knowledge to work as a cashier but we might lack the personality.
>> No. 23329 [Edit]
>>23325
>I think if I can just get some time to learn some simple job
Can't you get like an internship in most places? You ask the person in charge to let you work free of charge for a few weeks so you can learn the job. Regardless, I'd avoid any job with interactions / customer service, specially if you enjoyed being a hiki.
>> No. 23358 [Edit]
>>23325
Consider doing it under the assumption you will fail for one weekend and quit. I did that and it was a good learning experience. One of the customers in the bar I was working in asked me "is it true you have assburgers" on the last day. I was lucky to be able get a job in a bar on a remote island only accessible by boat for one weekend and knew I would never see any of them again which made it easier not to care.
>> No. 23442 [Edit]
Work sucks and it's not getting better. Everyone else knows it sucks and just conforms to the system. Miss the old days, wish it was easier as an adult to make friends....
>> No. 23443 [Edit]
>>23442
Why don't you stop working and find other means to make money?
>> No. 23444 [Edit]
>>23000
I'm only seeing this now, but thank you a lot, Anon-kun.
>> No. 23445 [Edit]
>>19645
Because i don't have friends, 3DPD, education and money, also i living in poor country. Have no future.
>> No. 23446 [Edit]
It seems like I'm going to have to get yet another job in addition to my current job, in addition to being a full-time college student who is studying a difficult major with a lot of homework, while also dealing with serious health problems. I can barely make ends meet and I am about to collapse under all this stress.

My family tells people that I'm lazy, almost implying that I'm a NEET or something. They don't understand anything about technology so they think my job and major are worthless (I'm in tech). Seriously, you will never meet a more tech-illiterate group of people than my family. It's really weird that people in this day and age can be so willfully ignorant of technology.

And my coworkers and peers in my classes almost seem to brag about how overworked/tired/busy they are, as if it's a contest to see whose life is the most difficult.

I don't get it. I am perpetually tired. I'm poor. I'm always stressed out. I have no social life. I don't enjoy anything. I can't afford the medical procedures I need. The obstacles I'm facing seem insurmountable.

Is it going to be like this forever? I don't know how much more of this I can endure.
>> No. 23449 [Edit]
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23449
>>23446
Sorry to hear that anonymous. I'm in a similar situation. After scheduling time for uni courses, study, work, and sleep, I've got about 1 hour left per day to travel between home, work, and school, and eat, shower, etc. Yet my family still makes fun of me for not working hard enough, it's like they want to see me break down and fail miserably.

Post edited on 8th Apr 2018, 12:59pm
>> No. 23450 [Edit]
I am unhappy because I am too smart and mature to block out the sensations of my own mortality and the futility of my existence, but I am also too dumb and immature to get my life straight and find a purpose for it.
>> No. 23453 [Edit]
I tried being happy. I finally went to Japan after many years of wanting to go, had the best time of my life, and when I come back, everything fell apart. Now I'm barely hanging on and suicide really feels like the only option I have. Why did I try to be happy?
>> No. 23497 [Edit]
The few things I love always get taken away from me.
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