>>21726
text makes a sound?

>>21726
Relax.

>>21727
Didn't you originally say "sounds" in the first place?

>>21728
That was my first post in this thread, this being my second.

>>21727
Yes, he has planted a listening device under your desk and the sound of your fingers hitting the keyboard made a retarded impression on him.
I know because

The putting it down on a 2D plane accurately obviously requires some degree of coordination...

On second thought, never mind. I'm not even going to get into this.

Post edited on 24th Dec 2015, 10:13am

try and hit blackbelt in aikido

I enjoy committing crimes. I makes no difference what type, as long as I'm doing something bad and getting away with it I'm happy.

I'm having a little episode where I just can't feel pleased enough to be distracted by much. Ever sine SGDQ ended, I just can't get the same excitement that I got from spamming the chat with the cute emote. I only feel uneasy, upset, and a little nervous.

I guess that the only good thing that I can say is that I've decided to start exercising again. My body feels a bit sore, but I guess that that's a good thing. I've been lifting weights for a long while despite not exercising in close to 2 years, so I'm pretty buff, but not in shape at all. It does help with keeping nasty people away since I am pretty strong and even seem like it.

I still wish I were dead, though. I haven't really had much of a reason to get out of bed besides boredom, and the only thing that I'm looking forward to is the new MH game, I just can't find much reason to keep on going. I'm just tired of mostly everything in the shitty 3D world.

I hate, I detest, I loathe and I abhor writing. There is no greater torture for me than being forced to write text.
Life is not worth writing for.

Apparently my mother had a "mini-stroke" or something yesterday. I was kind of surprised by the news, and came to start thinking about my mother and her dying again. I have no idea what I'd do if that were to happen, and I'd be unable to live anywhere since nobody else gives a single shit about me aside from my mother and my uncle, and my uncle can do absolutely nothing for me.

I don't know what I'm going to do.

Now that I take a bigger look at my life, it only seems to be filled with horrible people and liars. It's been like that before I was born and steadily strong even 25 years after. I try to live my life as honest and as straightforward as possible, however, that doesn't seem to change anything.

There was no way for someone like me to get anywhere in life. I couldn't do much on my own. I was set up before I was even born.

And, are you fucking kidding me? In something like that! I didn't understand at first, even though I knew that it was important, I had no idea the lengths put into something as stupid as that only for me to end up in the same position. What was the point in only judging me by what others had to say? What few actions I had to perform? It's not like anybody knows what I'm really like when nobody spends any time with me. Hell, it wasn't until recently that my mother found out that I am a genuinely decent person, and I've lived with her my entire life.

I really am cursed. Nothing but bad things consistently occur in my life. It's only filled with miss opportunities, failed attempts, broken and/or non-existent dreams, and a broken heart. If past lives are a thing, then what did I do that would earn me this much? Why not just erase me from being reborn or whatever? Why do I even exist? If I'm to be denied everything, then wouldn't the world just be the same without me? Wouldn't it be fine, if not better if I wasn't born? Then, why am I here? Why am I posting these stupid messages that nobody will (hopefully) read or fully understand because of how poorly I express my thoughts (and sometimes go off to do other things in while typing this whiny garbage that just ends up getting garbled up with my forgetful mind)? I'm just a waste of time wasting time.

I think that I might need to either leave or kill myself soon. I don't think that I really have many options in my life, and while I knew that I wasn't going to have a happy ending by any means, I thought that I'd at least be able to do something to maybe prove that I had some value in some way, but that was wishful thinking.

Worst one was my 7th because my friend invited the whole class and they trashed my stuff. Best was my 18th because it was the first time I got drunk which was pretty euphoric.

Best was probably a party I had when I was like 2 or 3, since there were friends. Worst was pretty much every birthday since my 9th birthday, since that's when I started not having friends (aside from usual social group I was forced to be with on a couple occasions until I moved again).

Right now, Birthdays are really just another excuse for me to beg my family to go out to eat.

I only remember of having one birthday party when I was 5 or 6. There are some pictures of it, but I don't really remember anything about it, or of my childhood, it was dull and had nothing really memorable

Later on at adolescence it simple lost it importance, it just was another day who I waked up, looked at the computer time and thought "oh, today's my birthday, cool" and so it is to this day. I don't remember hearing a happy birthday in some good 8 years or more

I don't have a worst birthday, but I didn't really have any parties. The last one was when I was 14 (I'm 32 now, so that was over half my life ago). Three people came, and that was good, but I'm not friends with any of them now.

I do have a sad story for someone else, though. It was a girl who was seven years younger than me, and was diagnosed autistic at the time. She had her 14th birthday party, and no one came. That is really traumatic, especially for a girl. She was very pretty then, too. Now she's almost 25 and looks and acts like a druggie, drunk dumbass. She does have some friends now, though, although they never seem to last long.

I guess that the best one that I had was when I went to Nashville on my own and walked around downtown when I was 26. I went into a museum and saw works by Hans Bellmer, one of my favorite artists. It was pretty nice, although my advisor thought that it was odd that I went on my own.

i know what you mean. it never comes back.

My main complaint about life is that I'm going bald (I'm very vain). I can't truly do anything to fix it, because science just isn't on my level quite yet, but the universe obliterates all evidence of my baldness in the future anyway. I know I can shave it but I'm not quite ready to be a shaved head sex pervert for the rest of my life.

Everything is defined by the preferences of others. Living became something I am able to do thanks to this conclusion, because I do not want to agree with it, therefore I try not to let the preferences of others dictate how I feel, what I do. It's hard not to when I leave the house and perceive other people treat me differently based on my appearance. It's very difficult, but possible, because I know those preferences are caused by mass media (dictating standards of beauty to the public) and mass media should have no real control in the tangible. It does, though (even on my end, obviously), and that's where issues begin but I've written too much for /tc/.

Remember that there is no action, no thought, no wisdom where you are going, and the days of darkness ahead of you are uncountable, as opposed to the days of life. Mulling that over should be enough cause to make the changes you want to.

>>21644

I'm the same. Vain and balding. Just keep it cut short and grow a 5 day shadow/beard. Hit the gym and dress well. The rest will follow.

Here's a song about (not) accepting it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRC03bp04lU

>>21639
fixing it means you should ultimately become emotionless robot/zombie that shouldn't complain anything a bit about your feelings of struggling your bone hard in this helluva world.

>>21569
Enjoy those few years you have not burning.

Seriously though, the main reason why I'm not killing myself (besides the difficulty of actually going through with it) is because I don't know shit about the afterlife and my life isn't that bad yet that I'd give up cute anime grills for possibly being reincarnated as a fucking fly because of shitty karma or something else.

Nothingness sounds great because your existence is completely wiped and you couldn't regret your suicide, or it wouldn't really matter if you did in the last few seconds of your life because everything is over but there's no guarantee and given what's at stake, no matter how great the chances are (which we don't even know) it doesn't sound reasonable to actually do it, if your life isn't complete shit.
Pascal's Wager has a point despite only arguing for the christian belief.

In the past I thought I were a terrible person.
But then I objectively evaluated other living beings and realized most are much worse and I would actually be seen as nice and altruistic by society.
Therefore do no worry, everyone is shit.

>>21559
>He was a hell of a bad man but didn't went through any suffering in his life

Uhh, ever heard of the Long March pal?

My head is filled with horrible thoughts and violent fantasies. My isolation plan took this into account. I will put an end to this evil bloodline.

I hear "echoes" sometimes. It's pretty annoying because I can't feel alone for a short while but it's probably how my brain copes with the rare situation of having heard a lot of people during the day.

>>21651
I have this when I have been around people a lot, after a long day. When lying in bed, tired, drifting to sleep, I will see in my minds eye visual echoes of the people I've been around during the day, or just echoes of faceless crowds if I've been in a crowded place. And I'll hear their voices, too. I hate it. I can't exercise my imagination or be with my waifu without the people from the day overwriting my thoughts. I have wondered though if this is normal or not. Perhaps I'm ill.

This happens to me, too, except in my case it tends to be random stuff that has subconscious meaning.

yes, i have schizophrenia

I normally talk by myself a lot but I fear that my parents hear me from time to time and feel bad for me. I feel bad for me as well so I kind of understand them.

>>21493
>Not really conversations just one-liners like "you fucking retard" or something like that when I did something stupid.

I do this too, although it's always an internal voice. I also tend to have longer internal conversations with myself when I'm doing mundane daily tasks like showering, eating, or cleaning.

Only when they malfunction, mostly to my car and computer. Also I've talked to plants before pls dont die I say and they die half of the time.

I have high hopes for AI, shit just look at Tay, its amazing how far tech has come.

Try watching late night informercials while you suffer your insomnia.

>>19496
it wouldn't bother you if you were a schiz
u r aapd, see dsm5 for more info

I still live with my Parents and older sister, and I still feel lonely and bored as fuck, especially since my father has chronic Gilian Beret now (I fucked up spelling that), I'm just afraid that eventually we're just all going to die a sad death that won't be of any importance.

I wish I had the means to live alone...

>>21438
Are you happy yourself?

>>21439
I'm just neutral.

olev

I dropped out of highschool.
Closest thing I ever had to a real friend was only using me for personal gain and we haven't spoken in many years. Almost 28 now and have never truly been with a girl. wasted the best years of my life living as a hikkimori with little to show for it.
Been fired from every job I ever had and am scared to get a regular job. Too stupid for school too. Pretty sure my dad is ashamed of me and my mother is disappointed in me. I've never gained any sort of skills or talents. When my mom dies I'm pretty much fucked. The only thing I've ever done with my life was somehow create a website that has been lingering on the verge of death for years, and the main draw of it has been copied by other sites which are more popular.

>>21401
if I'm honest, I dont really have most of the issues of other posters on this board... I dont have any real issues of shame or depression, and can interact fine with normies when I have to, and dont really mind doing so.(though Id never really go out of my way to over my actual friends). There are other reasons I like hanging around places like this.(nothing like 'lol look at the losers' or 'pfhaha these freaks take waifu seriously' or anything like that.)
That probably puts me in a class of more 'functional' or mentally healthy otaku-types along with the much more normie-seeming types from /a/, or reddit anime boards or something, even though ive never visited or wanted to visit any places like that. Its those sorts of people Ive noticed the obnoxious, insecure self deprecation from most prolifically, where it doesnt just feel like normal, healthy self-deprecating humor but like theres an actual message that 'these things I like are shit, garbage, worthless' somewhere in there, thats somewhat serious. Even though it has seemed to show up in more hardcore otaku types too.
Whenever I hear something like that, if its in a situation where I'd respond, my response always carries some undertone of "Bite me."

>>21413
Don't worry too much, i was kinda in a frenzy yesterday, long day and all.
It makes me somewhat envious seeing otaku couples because they're so rare. I can forgive those by looking away because they still qualify as otakus... ever so slightly, oh well.
It's all a matter of opinion in the end, i'm really tired and don't know what to think anymore, maybe for the best.
Let's enjoy what we like and leave the rest sort itself on it's own, a great advice.

>>21415
The dark side is as shining as the bright side.
Makes us just as blind but there are exceptions.
I hope you'll see someday, otakus don't need to throw their love away.
Just find a different way to reach the stars of empty space.

>>21365
I never really did talk about them much to begin with but I've more or less quit recently. It always seemed like a bad idea to share so much of your personal life online.