Probably around 6 when my dad decided he regretted having me and tried to get rid of me. not that I remember much before then. After that I always felt out of sync with society, detached and uninterested in most things people my age cared about. Felt like an alien dropped on this earth and told I'm human, and that humans are supposed to like this and do that. I look in the mirror and see a human, I sound like a human, smell like a human, but I don't feel like a human.
I watch humans partake in their games and rituals, but see no reason to join them. They don't seem to care if I join them or not anyway. I don't like the things they like, I don't hate the things they hate. The way they act more often than not doesn't make much sense to me. Things that seem obvious to me are hard to understand for them. It can be frustrating at times having to deal with them. I prefer not to interact with humans when I can avoid it. They seem to know I'm not like them, the way they act changes when I'm around. I'm not sure why I'm here, I would prefer not to be.

>did you simply think it over and walk away from everyone
Yes in my case I think this would apply. I was always reclusive, and sometime around the start of high-school I took a look around and realized that I had little in common with the cliques I saw around me – and that I really preferred being alone rather than participating in "group dynamics." By the time university rolled around, I had been able to observe enough people to come to the conclusion that I hate the majority of them. They're boisterous, duplicitious, and selfish, all dressed up in a sympathetic facade. Perhaps that says more about me than it does about them, but nonetheless any time I get to know someone I invariably end up becoming disgusted.

>>25964
It's hard to be a good person, but few can say they've tried.

>>25962
I guess it was a gradual experience. For years I thought I didn't belong to the particular environment I was raised in, so I could go to college or to the big city and find my place.
I did all that and I discovered I didn't belong there either (mid 20's or so), it had to be something deeper.
Now I like to think I'm an alien in a reconnaissance mission with a case of amnesia. And when my human form dies I will leave earth and return to my planet with my people. It's a recomforting, if silly, thought.

I'd say the point of no return was around 7th grade. My family had always lived out in the sticks and for some reason they decided they wanted to move to a (relatively) large city. It was a huge culture shock at a time when everyone's confused and out to make themselves look tough because of puberty. Before that I was going to a chrisitan school so a lot of things to do with pop culture at the time were just lost on me. It was the worst year of my life and I really have no idea what my parents were thinking. I was already severely developmentally behind and it was pretty obvious to everyone but them.

Things were bad before that but 7th grade made me really unable to trust. We only lived in the city for a year before going back to the sticks but it didn't matter. I made one more attempt to be social after that and it ended in a pretty terrible betrayal. Haven't tried having friends since. Normal people are really cutthroat and will pretend to like you just to feel good about themselves.

Things have gotten better but it's more like I've came to peace with my situation, not that I've made great progress. The younger version of myself was very avpd. The older me has morphed more schizoid but I'm not quite completely there yet.

Maybe early 20s. I still thought I would be a middle class nobody. Fast forward about 15 years and now I am getting close to upper 30s. I got more money than I know what to do with because I hate spending large amounts of it and a whole company down the road which is worth tons. Money doesn't make you happy really.

I have been spending my days just traveling until March of this year when the China flu starting screwing with things. And you know, I liked it. Id tie it with work and after trade shows were done go explore on my own. Just fly to some random place with maybe a hour or two of research before hand and a pdf on the plane to read about what I should do. Met some nice people and went drinking with them. Usually just guys. A few times girls and guys and we always exchange contact info or business cards but never call each other or contact. So everything just goes back to like it was year after year. I am getting much wealthier every single day but damn, my life is the same. I still wear rags I got free at a trade show even though I could buy a failing mall if I wanted.

I don't know, when I was young I thought I would want to have a child at some point but now I just don't really care to. I sort of thought that these things just came to you. You know, a girl walks into your life and things just happen. But you really got to work at it. After college, I went to hostels and a few times in the united states older girls (at the time 27-30yos) would literally come after me like cougars on the prowl. I had a little fun for awhile but then again there was always something that bothered me about them. Liberal/Vegetarian or something crazy about them.

Well, we will see what happens. At least I am still healthy. Ive been spending alot of weekends and time at home enjoying the changing of the seasons and taking care of the property. I still go to work 5 days a week but I think I am going to change that soon. There is really no need for me to be in every day and seeings how its a family company I can do pretty much what I want to do, but I never wanted to look like I was abusing our prosperity. The china flu has done wonders for us and I should feel so happy about what this opens for me and our employees but I still feel very dissociated and I know I am just getting older and for some reason the only thing that I have been able to think of to supposedly make my life better is to fly away and see things many people never see. I guess somewhere inside of me it makes me think like I am accomplishing something but it really isn't as much as I think it does.

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

>>25995
Can't tell if this was written in earnest or as a joke.

>>25995
Sounds to me like you're living the norm life and enjoying it just fine. I'm not sure what the problem is, doesn't really sound like there is one? I'm trying to keep an open mind here but the whole post reeks of bragging.

>thought I would be a middle class nobody.
>its a family company
Not sure why anyone who's part of a family company with employees would think they'd be a middle class nobody.

>And you know, I liked it.
This is the most suspect line in the whole post, it alone makes me think this is copypasta. How would we know what you like? This sentience implies this post is a part of a series of posts, likely from someone using a name to identify themselves. Yet you posted here anonymously, in a thread with no other posts of this style. Why?


To others reading this, yes I'm aware it's very possibly a bot/spam post.

>>25997
They were banned, so you're not getting a response.

>>25996
In Earnest. I kinda just kept writing and tried my best to not stop the flow or to come back and correct for what I really meant. So some things might sound weird.

>>25997
I would say I am about as far from the norm life as you can get for a person in my situation. Just because I have to go to work everyday doesn't mean I am not susceptible to the same shit you guys go through. Its different, but the same. I don't feel wealthy but I am. Ok, so I travel alone but its still lonely when you out somewhere you have never been before without someone. Which is why I try to meet people, but yet again, I never hold on to those as I said.

I thought I would be a middle class nobody because that is how I grew up. My family company has grown the last 20 years. Boomed. None of us expected that. I got alot of investments and property but that doesn't change the fact that I still very often find life uninspiring and lonely. I just wanted to reinforce in that post that even if you become financially wealthy and are somewhat capable of talking with people, you can still feel you are missing out on some important things in life even though from the outside it doesn't look like you do. I am still the same guy I was back almost 20 years ago. I remember wasting so many hours back in 2006-10 on imageboards. The earliest thing I remember was the Hal Turner raids.

Thanks for the ban by the way. Nice welcome back after ~six years. I am not a bot fyi. I don't remember people being so ban happy here back when. Guess I will check out the rules instead of just jumping in next time and see if its worth posting here again. I didn't mean to sound like a dick when I posted, I hope I didn't come off like that.

Unfortunately, ban evasion is also a bannable offence.

>>25999
No, fuck off normalfag. Stay gone. Make that six years the rest of your years.

Post edited on 19th Oct 2020, 11:17am

>>26000
What a rude fellow you are. We will see. Can't believe what has happened to this place. It looked so much like it was back when. Oh well, times change. Hope this refuge for some of you mentally ill folks is the therapy you really need and not just prolonging your suffering. Have a good night.

>>25999
Sorry for assuming this was a bot post. I have a slightly better understanding of your problem now, but even so I think the average person wouldn't consider it to be a problem. For the average person what you describe is all they aspire to. To have lots of fancy material items, travel the world, ect. As they say it's lonely at the top, and I can understand having trust issues when people only come after you for your money. I know someone who's wealthy and also dresses in rags, acts like he's poor and so on. I think it's not uncommon, after all no one got rich by flushing money down the drain. Your problem seems almost like a Chinese finger trap in a way. The harder you fight it the harder it fights back. Your best bet is obviously to meet with people in normal settings, while not mentioning wealth, companies, what you do ect. If you want to establish a meaningful relationship with people, you're going to have to keep that stuff secret and pretend to be on the same level as them.

That said I can't say I blame others here for being very off put by this post. To you, wealth may seem like it hasn't changed anything, but for the average person here who might have less than $1,000 to their name it, it would at least mean stability, not having to worry about paying for their next meal, having a roof over their head ect. To see someone who has that complain about life can be insulting to them. Like complaining about the quality of your buffet to people who are starving.

>>26002
That's not the problem. I don't care how much money somebody has. What pisses me off is the mindset. All of these are normalfag symptoms
>I still thought I would be a middle class nobody.
>Met some nice people and went drinking with them.
>when I was young I thought I would want to have a child
>After college, I went to hostels and a few times in the united states older girls (at the time 27-30yos) would literally come after me like cougars on the prowl. I had a little fun
>I should feel so happy about what this opens for me and our employees

Somebody who is not a normalfag is indifferent to their social and financial status. Does not care about "accomplishments" or chasing society's measures of success for its own sake. Does not want or expect to fall into a marriage and have kids. Does not accept the advances of strange 3dpd they've never even met. Does not enjoy meeting new people(normalfags) or drinking with them. Doesn't mind doing things alone. They certaintly are not all of these things.

Here is a person who did not lurk, did not read the rules, and it so entitled that they've ban evaded twice. They do not belong.

Post edited on 19th Oct 2020, 11:53am

>>25999
Don't thank the mods, thank yourself. Try and remember your trip next time.

>>26003
Oh I completely agree, I didn't mean to suggest otherwise. They certainly deserved the ban. If this person isn't trolling than they're out of touch with reality if they don't see why their words would bother people hwre. I'd have gone into what you said too but had to cut my post short due to time constraints. Truth be told they were giving off toki vibes. They brag about their accomplishments, what normals want and what they 'think' we want, while trying to get sympathy from us because their care free life isn't as perfect as it could be. For the reasons you listed and more they certainly do seem like a normalfag.

>>26003
>Somebody who is not a normalfag is indifferent to their [...] financial status
When did being concerned about affording food and shelter become an attribute of normalfaggotry?

>>26006
Never mind. I read that wrong. (Cannot delete the post, though.)

>>26002
Thanks. I think I should have thought harder about what I should have shared and there was a time when I did want many of the "normie" things but not so much anymore. Though I am concerned I will one day want those things but I will be too old to really appreciate them. I suppose that is pretty "normie". I thought this board was more about coping with loneliness no matter who you were and trying to find comradery anonymously than woman and friend bashing. 3dpd and all that infantile stuff. I only had one 3DPD in my life and she died. No friends. I sometimes go to bars just to bullshit with people because its some of the only interaction I get except for when I am forced to speak with people at trade shows which has been many many months. And that isn't anything I really give a damned about.

Your post did make me think and I sincerely appreciate it. Its one reason why I decided to post here again. I guess you just gotta filter out the ol' wizardchan and people who just want to vent at you. I do need to consider to be more thoughtful of my posts from now on so I don't offend them as much I guess.

Alright, I am really done now. I still wish you all the best even if you hate me.

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

>>26008
>my posts from now on
There should not be any. I don't care if you're bored because of quarantine. Go to twitter or facebook or discord with the rest of the herd.

>>26001
>>26008
Well, aren't you quite the rebel.

>>26008
I think you're confusing /so/ for /r9k/

>I thought this board was more about coping with loneliness no matter who you were and trying to find comradery anonymously than woman and friend bashing.
I've noticed a lot of places don't really allow that sort of thing while also keeping successful normalfags out. The ones that do end up being blackpilled voids of nihilism to a degree that would make /so/ jealous.

>>26013
It's a real shame too. I've became a much more functional human and it's put me in this weird limbo. I can't talk about my problems with normals because they either get triggered by something and treat you like shit or they aren't that functional themselves and desperately try to flex. Can't talk with other losers because they'll get assblasted you aren't rock bottom like they are even though I was for quite a bit of my life.

I just wish there was somewhere to talk about shit that wasn't full of normies or crabs. If only places like that could exist. It always ends up leaning strongly one way or another.

>>26017
Nice to come back to this garbage after taking a break for a few months. I told you these stupid failed nroamlfags would get here eventually.

>>26019
Calm your paranoid tits bitch.

>trying to find comradery anonymously
Regardless of the topic, I think it is impossible for long term solidarity and comradery to be found anonymously without people wanting to create identities to have long-term communication.

>>26022
Me-tan and technology-tans, in general, are sad. Especially when artists describe them as dying when support ends.

As if the banned poster wasn't bad enough here's another problem:
>>26017
>>26019
Outsiders bitching about "crabs."
For those who didn't pick that up it's a dogwhistle. A couple of vile imageboards and forums use that word as a code for involuntary celibates, whom they despise and obsessively rage about all the time.
Guess what, I'm a "failed normalfag" and a "crab" and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it because your outsider rules and customs were never a thing on Tohno. Your usual magic words have no power here.
I will continue posting about my "failed normie incel" problems as I have for years without issue.
You can return to your regular hangouts. Don't come back.

>>26017
If you think crabs are bad, just wait until you see squids. And don't even get me started on sea urchins.

>>26030
Sea urchins are cuties though!

>>26031
So are squids!

>>26045
So somebody starts following you around without giving you a reason, you act on it because other people tell you to, you pretend to be normal around them, and when you decide to be honest and reveal a massive problem you've been hiding, they disappear from your life. Seems to me like they didn't really know you or want to really know you, but were attracted to some outward trait you have because they were in a phase. Maybe you reminded them of Edward from twilight or something.

>>26046
Well thanks, that's a relieving insight, maybe I shouldn't have waited a decade to post this.
Yeah someone that cared more wouldn't have left it at that huh
Still, I feel guilt for having lacked strength, sincerity and integrity.

Post edited on 4th Nov 2020, 4:27pm

>>26045
Very jealous. I don't understand why I was never given a chance while this someone who never even cared about any of it had it all handed to them.

>>26048
Are you on the right website?

>>26049
Yes.

>>26049
What makes you ask that? Plenty of people here weren't even given chances at happiness and those who were had it taken away from them for various reasons.

>>26050
You don't deserve 2d.

>>26052
Having the life sucked out of you by shallow normals just so you wont be alone isn't a chance at happiness in my book.

Post edited on 4th Nov 2020, 4:02pm

>>26053
This. A bad experience isn't going to be good just because it's an experience you haven't had.
I've been there in ways, wanting to try things both good and bad just out of exploration. It would piss me off when people say "nah you don't want XYZ, trust me", I'd feel like I know better because I'm me, but sometimes they're right. You see people talk about something enough in film and tv and you start to want to try it too, but you've gotta stay strong, be better than that, and resist self destructive temptations.

>>26053
>>26054
The thing about your opinions, they're just your opinions. Discarded.

>>26052
Do you think that was a chance for happiness? 3DPD of all things?
Maybe I'm also delusional and trying to justify myself but considering 3DPD as a "chance for happiness" (I guess the only one?) it's a really bad line of thought. Mostly because if you keep being like you are now, you will forever feel regreet, but if you try and somehow become a normal you will feel disappointment (even normals feel it!).
It's a mindset that's almost like a granted path to defeat. Once you have a minimally comfortable material existence I seriously doubt there's anything outside yourself that can grant you happiness.

>>26058
That's just like your opinion dude.
Trying to explain this to normalfags who complain about "no gf" and belong on r9k is pointless. They'll die miserable.

Oh no, it's the toxic wizardshit radicals again. You have the nerve to come here and tell others they're on the wrong site.

>>26059
I'd say explaining it is pointless yes, but I don't think they'll die miserable. It's one of those things people have to learn from themselves.
Sure you can tell someone not to jam a fork in an electrical outlet, but they might not understand or care what you say and do it eventually anyway. But if you just let them do it, you can be damn sure they'll never do it again.

>>26060
Wizards are all about forming an identity around their lack of 3dpd. They're upset about it. If you want 3dpd, then you're on the wrong site. Complaining about wanting 3dpd and stating your idiotic jealousy are symptoms. It's repulsive.

Post edited on 5th Nov 2020, 10:37am

>>26062
You're repulsive.

>>25966
Ok Mr. Starseed

>>26062
I don't think there's anything wrong with just being lonely, we're on the ronery board after all, posters also shouldn't be talking or humble-bragging about being chased by girls. Not because I'm jealous, but because it does subtly invite exactly the kind of stupid jealously shit and normalfag shitflinging as you can see in this chain of posts. It's also just a good thing to avoid straight up blogging on imageboards as much as possible, in my opinion. I agree with you that posting about jealously for 3dpd doesn't belong but neither does posting about it in the first place. No good comes from the wizchan purity spiral, because both results end up either with actual toxic normalfags, who hate 2D and see it as a "cope" for losers, or such exclusive wizards that they think 2D is too attached to females, desiring a female, etc. and want it banned from their site on the basis that it's cope for failed normalfag losers. I think you can see where I'm going with this and why this might be a problem for a website populated by those with waifus.

>>26223
That wizchan purity spiral sounds like an extension of society's Freudian obsession with people's intentions. If they have the wrong reasons for liking something, that's enough to ostracize them. People can't just enjoy things. I suspect that if those people tried to enjoy 2d, they would be unable to because they would be keep thinking about how much of a loser they are to be watching it instead of doing normal things or whatever. I don't see what's bad about "coping" either. That's how people deal with adversity, they cope. Since when has that been a bad thing? Is wallowing in misery and self-denial supposed to be more respectable? Upside down world.

>>26229
>I don't see what's bad about "coping" either.

Because you're supposed to be and look like a perfect being without flaws, a handsome, intelligent, turbochad that is so fucking great he doesn't even need females. If you go further most of internet talking is basically an exercise on narcicism and nothing more.
Actually, wizchan and all of it's mindset was nothing more than a group of early 20's and younger "normals" predating and making fun of a few actually fucked up individuals that got even more fucked up as a result.