I've gotten somewhat proficient at avoiding humiliation, but when I did face some I just numbed myself.

>>25751
How you do it?

>>25752
Avoiding social gatherings and crowds as much as possible. Avoiding the center of any room I happen to be in. Avoiding talking. Wearing simple clothes. If something embarassing does happen, taking myself out of the situation mentally and thinking about something else. When I was in high school, I always went to the library or nurse and never ate anything.

For me it probably isn't too hard. There's not much about my face, voice or way of walking that would attract negative attention and I can emulate small talk if I have to. If your situation is more difficult, I've got no advice.

Post edited on 23rd Jul 2020, 1:39pm

>>25753
>If your situation is more difficult, I've got no advice.

Ah, yes, sadly I think that's the case. I have followed most of the things you said but you can't be avoiding forever if you need to bring food in the table.
It's like I can survive for some months, I try to look serious and everything, but after some time people detect weakness and the point when everything is allowed is just a matter of time. Worse of it is when someone detects it anyone new will know it inmediately and will consider you an inferior even if you are years older or have more experience.
While listening Wagner I've been thinking about all of this and how despicable I'm compared to all strong generations of people in human history. I feel like I can't do amends to that, there's too much distance, so I hang in some probably sick thoughts, about a romantic and cathartic end that could at least compensate an existence without dignity. It's stupid, it's silly and a thing only a teenager should do but I can't think of anything else but this death wish. There's anyone else that can get this particular thing? This vain hope of not being an absolutely nothingness since there should always be a last chance, in the moment of death, to show something you have never showed.

It still bothers me to some degree but not nearly as much as it used to... I've became rather numb to it. My brain has been so hyperfocused on a traumatic event for the past year that many things have just fallen to the wayside as non-issues. It's weird because said event happened in childhood but only became a big deal now. I've done some reading and discovered this is a typical response.

Outside of that I started to legitimately view myself as a bad person. There's a temptation to view yourself as a martyr or to only half-heartedly commit with things like "nobody is perfect". Once I started to view myself as a bad person with deep seated issues it became a lot easier for me to do bad things. Being a good, likeable person who follows the rules isn't a virtue. Getting shit done is. People don't like bad people. I'm a bad person so that's okay.

It's hard to get to this point and I've still got a ways to go before I truly don't care. A lot of it can't really be willed into existence either. You just have to sit around and wait on your brain to rot, and hope it rots in the "right" way.

Nobody has ever laughed at me I don't think.

>>25755
You need to have some strength to be a bad person, the weakest aren't usually labeled as bad persons.

I remember a couple of times in school sometimes when I entered some place, after some time some of the friendlier people would tell me "oh don't let them bother you, don't pay attention to them" and the like.
Joke's on them I'm too slow to notice anyone laughing at me, apparently.

When people made fun of me, it was usually about my morbid obesity. Kids would literally point at me and ask their mothers to take a look at how fat that man over there is. Roaming packs of sand niggers in the street would imitate pig noises while looking at me, at one time even attacking me out of the blue and giving me a concussion. Women who mistakenly thought that I was hitting on them would giggle with their friends behind my back about how disgusting I am.

I've lost most of the excess weight and look like a normal person now. Little bit of loose skin, but you can't see it when I'm wearing clothes. Even had visible abs for a while, before I gained some of the weight back. I'm actually more muscular than average because I do strength training six days a week. Now the sand niggers don't pick on me anymore, because they're cowards and I don't look like an easy target. Women are generally a lot more friendly towards me now, and when they mistake my clumsy attempts at simply being nice as me making advances, they tend to like it and often try to engage with me, and I get a bit of a kick out of either ignoring them and refusing to talk to them until they go away, or in some cases telling them off in the rudest possible ways while hurling insults at them.

So yeah, I guess I did get rid of the main thing that fucked up my life (thanks for the two decades of absolutely atrocious nutrition, Mom!), but I still do not enjoy the company of other people, especially not of women, whom I regard as particularly boring, superficial and annoying. So here I am, still preferring occasional discussions with anonymous people on the internet over having any actual social bonds.

>I just would like this eternal high school
Nobody laughed at me directly since high school. I don't really care if people hate me or made fun of me but I don't really know how to react if they do it front of me. Last time, I wasn't even angry and I just ignored them: that was awkward.

>>25759
>or in some cases telling them off in the rudest possible ways while hurling insults at them
I'd be suprised if this hasn't landed you in hot water.

I'm handsome but my development got fucked up. My parents didn't do me any favours emotionally or socially so I went into the computer screens and tried my best to not exist. My sleep was literally never good because I was always addicted. Then I got addicted to drugs for a long while, thinking I was some sort of musician prophet or whatever.. So I dealt with being a freak for awhile in THAT way. At late 20's and sober I can't really learn or keep a train of thought anymore.. so I'm dealing with it by trying to be productive for the first time in my life, because I've almost never done that. I think that will make me more functional so I'll be able to think and respond to people better, find people with better interests, and also enjoy life in the correct way. Fuck writing that is such a basic, stupid thing to say. I've always been a sad sack, I just wanted to die most of the time since 17.
Anyway in every social situation it becomes quickly apparent what I am. How do I deal with it? Frankly, I avoid people. When I'm forced I get out whatever words I can. Luckily I'm back in my parents house so I'm sheltered from the wage grind of infinite death and going to school soon for something that will suit me more or less, assuming I can unfuck my brain by then, which I think I can.

I haven't been laughed at in a long time, and I don't remember what it felt like anymore. I just avoid all non-practical interactions. I was made fun off a lot as a kid though.

>>26218
Just curious.. Why was my picture removed?

>>26224
Was it of yourself?

>>26225
Of course not.. It was a band I liked

>>26224
>>26226
I presume you haven't read the rules. >>/r/4

>>26228
No I didn't. Not something I would've guessed

>>26232
It's a pretty basic rule, maybe the most important depending on how you look at it and what role you think rules play.

>>26233
being snippy gives you cancer

>>26238
My post wasn't intended to sound like "it's a pretty basic rule, I can't believe you haven't heard of it you absolute scrub", but more along the lines of "Oh, you haven't read them? Well, that rule is a pretty major one so keep it in mind when posting in the future and expect it to be enforced pretty consistently".

>>26239
My bad fam