NEET is not a label, it's a way of life!
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23512 No. 23512 [Edit]
You know what sucks about being a loner? Not having people to go to restaurants with. There is so much good food I would eat if only I had people to eat with. Going to a restaurant alone is weird. I could never do that.

I mean, every now and then I get food with people. But not anywhere near as much as I’d like.

Can you think of anything else you need a group for?
5 posts omitted. Last 50 shown. Expand all images
>> No. 23582 [Edit]
>It opens opportunities to make friends, a cute waitress showing interest in you
Why would anyone want this. If I'm alone eating I don't want to be interrupted by some normal.
>or meeting some guy you can totally relate to at a bar
Did you take a wrong turn in one of those imageboard listings or something?
>> No. 23583 [Edit]
>Why would anyone want this. If I'm alone eating I don't want to be interrupted by some normal.
Not everyone is a brainless uber-normie, there are some decent around. Though if someone is really bothering you, just give them a hint or let them know that you're unhappy and they'll fuck off.

>Did you take a wrong turn in one of those imageboard listings or something?
>> No. 23584 [Edit]
I didn't realize that it's weird to go to a resturant alone. I suppose now I don't care that it's weird to go to a resturant alone.
>> No. 23588 [Edit]
Going to a fast food restaurant alone isn't abnormal, I see others do the same often. For a dine-in establishment it may be out of the ordinary, but as long as you're not bothered by standing out ever so slightly it should be fine. Heck, if there's a place you really want to go to to eat their food, invite some family member of yours given you are in contact with any.
>> No. 23954 [Edit]
I remember I went to an all you can eat Chinese buffet here in town all by myself at one point. It was during the lunch rush where everyone in the building was with someone, and I just couldn't shake the feeling that I was being watched, and judged by the patrons because of my lack of lunch partner. I just had my food, paid, and alt-f4'ed out of there as soon as possible so that my social anxiety didn't go full haywire.
>> No. 23955 [Edit]
At least you didn't mistake the garlic bread and soy sauce for french toast and maple syrup.
>> No. 23966 [Edit]
Eating at a restaurant alone isnt considered weird everywhere.
>> No. 23983 [Edit]
There are a lot of people that go to restaurants alone. Also many people go to the movies alone. You just believe it's a social activity because of popular culture and what normalfags think about those activities.
>> No. 23984 [Edit]
no, some restaurants actually refuse to serve singles because they have limited seating and one person by themselves would still take up a booth, meaning fewer customers
>> No. 23986 [Edit]
That's fairly rare though, since many places have a bar they can sit single or excess customers at.
>> No. 23987 [Edit]
yeah I've never come across that myself. It makes sense on paper, but I can't picture a business doing well if they're turning away paying customers. That sort of treatment is going to alienate and piss off customers who might not want to return.

Not only do they have bars, but if the place is really crowded they might just have single people share. This was my experience when I went to have breakfast at a -packed- Denny's in LA. They put me on the waiting list and when my name came up they asked me if I was okay with sharing a table. Had I said no 'maybe' they would have turned me away, but if that were to happen it would have been on me.
>> No. 25761 [Edit]
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Martial arts. I would love to do Aikido or Jiu Jutsu, but I hate being around people too much to sign up for a course.

Home improvement is another thing. There are quite a few things that are much harder or even outright impossible to do when you don't have someone helping you.

Also, many games like pool or bowling are only fun when you play with someone else. On the other hand, the only ball game I ever enjoyed was basketball, and I can have a blast just practicing on my own.

I go to restaurants alone whenever I feel like it, at least once a month. I don't get why you're so afraid of it. Nobody cares, except maybe when you're obese. Just bring a book or a phone or whatever to keep yourself occupied while you wait for the food.
>> No. 25762 [Edit]
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I don't have any trouble going to restaurants or the theater by myself and I've done it for years. People probably gives me weird looks or laugh at me, specially if I go to some particular place for a long time, but I don't care. Though I noticed most people tends to treat you worse if you're alone (and a midget).
What I would really like to do is to play tabletop and roleplaying games. I would like to have some "friend" I could only interact with for the purpouse of playing, like a clone of myself. I know you can play on-line but it's not the same. My hopes are into single player modes and tulpamancy.
I also feel like I would be more motivated to rewatch things with someone that haven't watched them than just by myself. I remember doing it some time when I was a teenager and I still had some bits of social interaction.
>> No. 25763 [Edit]
Martial art is actually less social than you would think, well depending on the dojo and style I guess. Mine was a country dojo doing Karate, there was probably a dozen people some people middle aged men some young girls and some young men. There is a bit of socialising at the start where people talk to each other while waiting for the class to start but during the class there isn't much opportunity to talk and my dojo at least didn't care that I was awkward and didn't talk while waiting. People are there to train and most dojos want more people.
>> No. 25766 [Edit]
Still incredibly social. Unless you're shadow boxing it counts as "Things you can’t do alone."
>> No. 25767 [Edit]
absolutely, also tried Jiu Jitsu for a few times, for me learning there was partnering up with some senpai to teach me techniques, like they pressing their finger on my throat to push me back through a pressure point or something, so yeah it was enduring the pain until i could inflict the pain on others, seemed too much like real life already so i stopped.
>> No. 25769 [Edit]
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This, this, this. This so fucking much.

>My hopes are into single player modes
Believe me I tried all those. The sole adventures for DnD, TunnelsnTrolls, I tried the Mythic systes and other related material. There's some stuff out there but the problem is not a lack of a system, it's the story telling part, there's no escaping the fact you're alone, having to come up with everything yourself. you're better off just playing a video game or CYOA books. In my experience trying tabletop rpging solo turns into either a dungeon crawl or you writing a story, casting dice to decide the outcome of the stuff you came up yourself. It's just too depressing after a while. At least it is for me.

I'm more or less obsessed with tabletop RPGs, have been since I was 10 or so since I played a few sessions with a bunch of older kids from school. This was over 20 years ago. I remember thinking the idea behind it to be absolutely brilliant. I could now pretend to be somewhere else and be someone else but with rules and settings, giving the consistency I always wanted for my day dreams. It blew my mind in so many levels it's hard to eplain. It felt like something I always wanted but couldn't quite figure what.

I've read pretty much every DnD and Pathfinder book out there, and other systems as well, lately I've been reading some of the Aquelarre and Shadow of the Demon Lord books. I "play" them in my mind as I read it, imagining possible events that could happen here and there if I had the normal brain to play with other people. Of course doing this is but a shadow of the actual game, you need more people, there's no way around that. I'm an awkward fuck and too shy to even use a mic on roll20. I have an account on that site since 2013 and played for a grand total of 4 or 5 hours before giving up to anxiety.

I even have some minis and dice which I have used in the past for solo play but now they just sit here gathering dust. I spend my days listening to Dungeon Synth and reading RPG modules, pretending I'm planning an adventure for my players. It's sad if I think about it but most of the time I'm actually having fun doing it. I'm not so ashamed of it anymore since finding out a bunch of people on YouTube that does the exact same thing, it gave some validation to the way I approach RPGs for some reason.
>> No. 25771 [Edit]
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For me all started with Infinity Engine games in first 00's, I just loved the universe and read the AD&D manual in a daily basis while fantasizing about creating characters, campaigns and stuff.
Some years ago I discovered Mythic and read a little about it, but I guess deep inside I suspected what you said; it just doesn't work that well.
I also got dices and various manuals, and really like tabletop games too, specially the expensive ones with good package and miniatures, but it's awkward to spend money on them knowing I will never be able to properly play unless they have a single mode, and those aren't usually too fun to start with.
While I spend most of my time on them, videogames aren't the same. Most similar thing I ever played was Neverwinter Nights, and while it was great it was also a hassle with too much human interaction and drama.
Do you think we could figure something or we are just cursed to be loners in a social hobby?
>> No. 25773 [Edit]
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Have you ever gave a serious shot at a roll20 game? If you have no problem using a mic it can get pretty interesting and it will be the closest thing out there to a tabletop experience online. There's also D&D Adventurers League, go to the wizards of the coast website and there's a game finder there, see if there's any in your area, if you're in the US chances are there is one. I'm pretty sure you know all this stuff but I feel like saying it just in case. I'm building confidence to give roll20 another shot eventually, If you're too much of a shut-in then roll20 really is your last hope that I'm aware of.
>> No. 25774 [Edit]
>there was partnering up with some senpai to teach me techniques.... enduring the pain until i could inflict the pain on others
That seems a bit odd. I used to do some shotokan karate, and while pressure points were not a major element when we did do joint locks there was a strong emphasis that partner should visibly signal when he feels that the technique is "working" (i.e. he shouldn't need to endure undue pain).

*(which I incidentally quite enjoyed the "precision and form" aspects of – although I'd say it's practically useless for "real world" fighting as shotokan focuses less on "full-contact" but rather "focused contact" [i.e. keeping attacks to surface level rather than plowing through the opponent and minimizing the number of offensive attacks).
>> No. 25775 [Edit]
I used to do some Karate type I don't remember. Sparring was absolutely painful and stressful. Every so often the toes in my left foot hurt because of that one time I kicked a guy with metal implants in their leg below the waist.
>> No. 25776 [Edit]
>If you have no problem using a mic

I have. I tried roll20 years ago when I was a user of wizardchan, I was the only one without using a mic, it felt awkward and I suspect everyone was starting to get annoyed with me so I just left after a couple of sessions.
Chat would be my only way to communicate and it would still be extremely awkward.
>> No. 25780 [Edit]
>Not having people to go to restaurants with
I'll be honest, having gone to restaurants by myself several times and hell even worked as a waiter at one, it isn't so bad. I have more respect for them now, and when I worked at one I always gave them a wide berth apart from refilling their drinks. Even in public, some people just want to be left alone.
>> No. 25784 [Edit]
It will all go away once you try, anon. I was like this as well, during my childhood I found the monster book of 3.5, and would spend a lot of time in the library reading that, looking at the pictures and imagining all that. About 10 years later I joined a group in real life. It was disappointing to say the least. Now I don't even feel like playing it anymore, even though I wanted to do it so much for years.
>> No. 25786 [Edit]
Then we're on the same boat. Only way out if to get used to the mic. I've been talking to myself with the mic on just to get confortable with it, eventually I'll give it another shot. Other than that I really don't see any other alternative other than just reading the books and enjoy the content like that.
But I have played before like I said in previous posts itt and had a really good time.
>> No. 25787 [Edit]
Lately I've been trying to escape loner life, during puberty I embraced it as I had trouble making friends and told myself that being alone is part of me, it was a lie I told myself, it was cope.
Now I'm nearing 30, have no social network and it's a struggle, I'm learning that even small interactions with other human beans can be very enjoyable, when no strings are attached. I still miss a deeper connection with others, I want to start working on my body, fitness and strength training but it would be nice if I had someone to do it with, someone who could encourage me and pull me through. And as it is now, all the effort and motivation has to come from myself, which is possible but I find it very difficult.

As I grow older I realize the value of having a connection with other people, I still enjoy my time alone but sometimes I just want someone to talk to about things I like and plans I have, something that was substituted by ching chong imageboards for a long time but it just doesn't seem to cut it anymore.
>> No. 25788 [Edit]
You should have realized by now that average people wont accept you for who you are and having relationships with them means pretending to be someone you're not. If you're not good enough at entertaining and validating them, they wont stay interested in you either. If you can't be yourself around others, you'll feel just as lonely with them sucking up your time and energy.
>> No. 25789 [Edit]
In my case, as I grew older I realized human relations aren't particularly enjoyable in most cases. You could feel a need of social relations because as a human you're programmed to be like that since social relations improve your chances of survival, but that doesn't mean they are going to be fulfilling or anything like that.
Still, if that's what you think you need to do, then do it, only important thing is to be free and not to be affected by the multiple ways social pressure works. I suspect most people are unhappy because they think that's how they are supposed to feel, but they could be perfectly fine by themselves with the right mindset.
>> No. 25790 [Edit]
I think one thing that changed with me the past years is that I no longer feel that pressure to pretend to be someone else and to match the expectations of others. I now feel more free to be who I am and thus feel like I can enjoy interaction with others more.
Though I still struggle to actually come across new people, I tried it through sports and hobbies but c*rona fucked that up and killed my motivation for a fair bit too but I'm slowly setting up a recovery plan.

Anyway, as I said before, I still enjoy time alone, I don't plan to give that up but it'd be nice to have some people I can rely on around me.
>> No. 25791 [Edit]
When you have to hide most of your interests and beliefs, you aren't being yourself. Even if you have a few things in common, that's no guarantee that the other person is reliable. You don't know if a person is reliable until you need something from them, so you could waste a lot of time on people who actually couldn't care less about you.

Post edited on 3rd Aug 2020, 8:57am
>> No. 25792 [Edit]
>When you have to hide most of your interests and beliefs, you aren't being yourself
Then stop hiding your interests and beliefs.
I don't want to live like a shut-in any more and I've accepted the consequences. If I can at least find 1 reliable person, I would be grateful.
>> No. 25795 [Edit]
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>strength training
What are you doing, anon? I feel like training as well but coming up and doing it by yourself gets kinda complicated sometimes. Without anyone to spot you, or when deciding where you are underdoing or overdoing.
>> No. 25796 [Edit]
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I wish I had someone to play video games with. Some games I'd like to play with someone else in the same room include DDR/StepMania, Portal 2, Tekken and Ikaruga.
>> No. 25804 [Edit]
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Anyone here ever done any sports climbing?
How much of a social thing is it?
Can you just do your thing while everyone else at the gym leaves you alone?
>> No. 25809 [Edit]
I haven't but I think it's done at least in pairs with one person climbing and one assisting.
>> No. 25810 [Edit]
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That's what I thought too, but I watched some videos on YouTube by climbers like Magnus Midtbo, and a lot of the time they just have a go at some climbing problem without anyone spotting them. Maybe it depends on how high the wall is?
I need to do more research.

It seems like a good and fun workout that nets a really nice and balanced physique, as well as practical skills.
>> No. 25816 [Edit]
I did in high school. You can climb alone but you'll begin by pairing up with someone.
>> No. 25817 [Edit]
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Shit looks fun as fuck. I'd like to try it out, but doubt such a thing to be around here.
>> No. 25818 [Edit]
Okay so apparently it's called bouldering when you are only climbing at heights that are safe to drop off of. There are 2 bouldering gyms in my city and they not only allow climbing alone, they REQUIRE social distancing due to Corona.

Just Google bouldering gyms, you might be lucky.
>> No. 25819 [Edit]
Try the prestigious sport of table bouldering.
>> No. 25823 [Edit]
Yeah it is tough, you can't always know if you have the right form and you can't really go to your limits without anyone spotting.
So I just ride my bike for the time being.
>> No. 25830 [Edit]
Just do bodyweight exercises
>> No. 25863 [Edit]
You don't need a spotter if you have the right equipment. You can put safety bars in a power cage that will catch the weight if you can't lift it and stop it from crushing you. You can also use dumbells instead of barbells, though they have different pros and cons to barbells which you may or may not like.

I learned my form off the internet. Try downloading a pdf of starting strength, which is a good place to learn form. Youtube videos are also good, but only watch ones from people which seem credible.
>> No. 25864 [Edit]
dunno man, safeties can always fail. I don't want to end up like John Ashe.
>> No. 25872 [Edit]
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Yeah, this is what I've been trying to do for the time being. Sometimes I watch a video but fuck up the form when I actually go to do it. I will definitely check that book out.
Also, I realized that I kinda of neglected my back, I'm trying to do with bodyweight only exercises but I feel like I could really make use of a pull-up bar. Problem is I never really trained a lot on them before, and I don't know what kind of bar and the specs I should aim for. I'm thinking of one of those wall-mounted pull-up bars, but I don't know what's the optimal distance from the wall, I see mostly three models, in terms of wall distance: 40cm, 65cm and 90cm. I don't know what to choose.
>> No. 25877 [Edit]
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>Do you think we could figure something or we are just cursed to be loners in a social hobby?
AI apparently. So far it's not very good but it's making progress really fast.
>> No. 25878 [Edit]
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Some don't deserve nice things.
>> No. 25894 [Edit]
Nicotine actually, I feel like that’s something a lot of people here wouldn’t have. I took it up to get myself to stop drinking, and that and some other stuff did the job but then I developed a really bad nicotine addiction. I’ve been weening myself off slowly over the past month or so though and it’s been going pretty well, hopefully I’ll be able to stop for good soon
>> No. 25895 [Edit]
you can't do nicotine without other people?
>> No. 25940 [Edit]
Op, I do a lot of things alone because I'm already used to be alone. I go to restaurants alone in a regular basis, I don't see it as weird because I don't care about society or what is perceived as weird because I simply just want eat tasty food and I don't need people to eat food or anything that I just need my body and money to do.
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