NEET is not a label, it's a way of life!
[Return]
Posting mode: Reply
Name
Email
Subject   (reply to 23512)
Message
BB Code
File
File URL
Embed   Help
Password  (for post and file deletion)
  • Supported file types are: GIF, JPEG, JPG, MP3, OGG, PNG, WEBM
  • Maximum file size allowed is 7000 KB.
  • Images greater than 260x260 pixels will be thumbnailed.
  • Currently 2191 unique user posts.
  • board catalog

File 152437038879.jpg - (486.17KB , 3200x1680 , B26BDD22-DC41-4C89-BCE7-42105914FD02.jpg )
23512 No. 23512 [Edit]
You know what sucks about being a loner? Not having people to go to restaurants with. There is so much good food I would eat if only I had people to eat with. Going to a restaurant alone is weird. I could never do that.

I mean, every now and then I get food with people. But not anywhere near as much as I’d like.

Can you think of anything else you need a group for?
Expand all images
>> No. 23513 [Edit]
I agree on the eating out thing, but I don't really recommend other outdoor activities that require another person. I guess going to a convention or even shopping for merchandise can be more fun when you have someone to chat with and comment to.
>> No. 23514 [Edit]
File 152437142347.jpg - (149.33KB , 1200x900 , WLZ3JfM.jpg )
23514
>Going to a restaurant alone is weird.
It is, but I do it anyway from time to time. It can be slightly awkward but you get used to it. Normally I get food to go so I can eat in my room alone watching anime or something, but a couple weeks back I had the urge to dine in at a restaurant to change things up. I parked myself in a corner and played games on my 3ds while having said lunch. The place was pretty much empty anyways.
Likewise, my mom used to drag me to the casino all the time with her and I'd kill time by waiting for her in the dinning area. I'd sit there in the corner for an hour or more throwing down the comp drinks while watching anime on my cell and chatting on irc, Even took my laptop at times. Little distractions like that can help take your mind off the awkwardness. That said, I do usually try to avoid letting people see what I'm doing exactly, or at least hiding what's on screen by sitting with my back to a wall or something.
>> No. 23515 [Edit]
A lot of athletic activities require groups. Forming an after school club requires 4 members plus a qualified staff sponsor. A successful imageboard requires group participation. Warfare, MMOs, democracy, choreographed lucky star cosplay dancing and amish-style barn raisings.
>> No. 23518 [Edit]
Cooking for yourself is cheaper anyway, for most things.
>> No. 23581 [Edit]
>>23512
I know how you feel OP, I used to think that way too until I couldn't bear the people I live with and started going out just to get away from everything.

I realized three things: a) You don't go out to show off how many friends you have, you go out for yourself first and foremost. b) People respect you when you go solo because even normalfags are scared of not traveling with the rest of the pack. When they see someone go solo they take it as being brave and lone-wolfish, and this leads to c) It opens opportunities to make friends, a cute waitress showing interest in you or meeting some guy you can totally relate to at a bar or someplace happens more often than you would think.

If it's too awkward, you can read a book or browse the internet on your phone while you're there, everyone else who comes alone does the same thing anyway. These days I just care too much about good food and getting away from home to care about what people think when I'm out.
>> No. 23582 [Edit]
>>23581
>It opens opportunities to make friends, a cute waitress showing interest in you
Why would anyone want this. If I'm alone eating I don't want to be interrupted by some normal.
>or meeting some guy you can totally relate to at a bar
Did you take a wrong turn in one of those imageboard listings or something?
>> No. 23583 [Edit]
>>23582
>Why would anyone want this. If I'm alone eating I don't want to be interrupted by some normal.
Not everyone is a brainless uber-normie, there are some decent around. Though if someone is really bothering you, just give them a hint or let them know that you're unhappy and they'll fuck off.

>Did you take a wrong turn in one of those imageboard listings or something?
What?
>> No. 23584 [Edit]
>>23512
I didn't realize that it's weird to go to a resturant alone. I suppose now I don't care that it's weird to go to a resturant alone.
>> No. 23588 [Edit]
Going to a fast food restaurant alone isn't abnormal, I see others do the same often. For a dine-in establishment it may be out of the ordinary, but as long as you're not bothered by standing out ever so slightly it should be fine. Heck, if there's a place you really want to go to to eat their food, invite some family member of yours given you are in contact with any.
>> No. 23954 [Edit]
I remember I went to an all you can eat Chinese buffet here in town all by myself at one point. It was during the lunch rush where everyone in the building was with someone, and I just couldn't shake the feeling that I was being watched, and judged by the patrons because of my lack of lunch partner. I just had my food, paid, and alt-f4'ed out of there as soon as possible so that my social anxiety didn't go full haywire.
>> No. 23955 [Edit]
>>23954
At least you didn't mistake the garlic bread and soy sauce for french toast and maple syrup.
>> No. 23966 [Edit]
>>23584
Eating at a restaurant alone isnt considered weird everywhere.
>> No. 23983 [Edit]
There are a lot of people that go to restaurants alone. Also many people go to the movies alone. You just believe it's a social activity because of popular culture and what normalfags think about those activities.
>> No. 23984 [Edit]
>>23983
no, some restaurants actually refuse to serve singles because they have limited seating and one person by themselves would still take up a booth, meaning fewer customers
>> No. 23986 [Edit]
>>23984
That's fairly rare though, since many places have a bar they can sit single or excess customers at.
>> No. 23987 [Edit]
>>23986
yeah I've never come across that myself. It makes sense on paper, but I can't picture a business doing well if they're turning away paying customers. That sort of treatment is going to alienate and piss off customers who might not want to return.

Not only do they have bars, but if the place is really crowded they might just have single people share. This was my experience when I went to have breakfast at a -packed- Denny's in LA. They put me on the waiting list and when my name came up they asked me if I was okay with sharing a table. Had I said no 'maybe' they would have turned me away, but if that were to happen it would have been on me.
>> No. 25761 [Edit]
File 159575385945.jpg - (93.16KB , 693x814 , 69168482_2467727446617573_5035862752426459136_n.jpg )
25761
>>23512
Martial arts. I would love to do Aikido or Jiu Jutsu, but I hate being around people too much to sign up for a course.

Home improvement is another thing. There are quite a few things that are much harder or even outright impossible to do when you don't have someone helping you.

Also, many games like pool or bowling are only fun when you play with someone else. On the other hand, the only ball game I ever enjoyed was basketball, and I can have a blast just practicing on my own.

I go to restaurants alone whenever I feel like it, at least once a month. I don't get why you're so afraid of it. Nobody cares, except maybe when you're obese. Just bring a book or a phone or whatever to keep yourself occupied while you wait for the food.
>> No. 25762 [Edit]
File 159575491336.jpg - (3.00MB , 4288x2848 , 1373030140941.jpg )
25762
I don't have any trouble going to restaurants or the theater by myself and I've done it for years. People probably gives me weird looks or laugh at me, specially if I go to some particular place for a long time, but I don't care. Though I noticed most people tends to treat you worse if you're alone (and a midget).
What I would really like to do is to play tabletop and roleplaying games. I would like to have some "friend" I could only interact with for the purpouse of playing, like a clone of myself. I know you can play on-line but it's not the same. My hopes are into single player modes and tulpamancy.
I also feel like I would be more motivated to rewatch things with someone that haven't watched them than just by myself. I remember doing it some time when I was a teenager and I still had some bits of social interaction.
>> No. 25763 [Edit]
>>25761
Martial art is actually less social than you would think, well depending on the dojo and style I guess. Mine was a country dojo doing Karate, there was probably a dozen people some people middle aged men some young girls and some young men. There is a bit of socialising at the start where people talk to each other while waiting for the class to start but during the class there isn't much opportunity to talk and my dojo at least didn't care that I was awkward and didn't talk while waiting. People are there to train and most dojos want more people.
>> No. 25766 [Edit]
>>25763
Still incredibly social. Unless you're shadow boxing it counts as "Things you can’t do alone."
>> No. 25767 [Edit]
>>25766
absolutely, also tried Jiu Jitsu for a few times, for me learning there was partnering up with some senpai to teach me techniques, like they pressing their finger on my throat to push me back through a pressure point or something, so yeah it was enduring the pain until i could inflict the pain on others, seemed too much like real life already so i stopped.
>> No. 25769 [Edit]
File 159586320381.jpg - (86.96KB , 721x900 , dream of a prisoner.jpg )
25769
>>25762
This, this, this. This so fucking much.

>My hopes are into single player modes
Believe me I tried all those. The sole adventures for DnD, TunnelsnTrolls, I tried the Mythic systes and other related material. There's some stuff out there but the problem is not a lack of a system, it's the story telling part, there's no escaping the fact you're alone, having to come up with everything yourself. you're better off just playing a video game or CYOA books. In my experience trying tabletop rpging solo turns into either a dungeon crawl or you writing a story, casting dice to decide the outcome of the stuff you came up yourself. It's just too depressing after a while. At least it is for me.

I'm more or less obsessed with tabletop RPGs, have been since I was 10 or so since I played a few sessions with a bunch of older kids from school. This was over 20 years ago. I remember thinking the idea behind it to be absolutely brilliant. I could now pretend to be somewhere else and be someone else but with rules and settings, giving the consistency I always wanted for my day dreams. It blew my mind in so many levels it's hard to eplain. It felt like something I always wanted but couldn't quite figure what.

I've read pretty much every DnD and Pathfinder book out there, and other systems as well, lately I've been reading some of the Aquelarre and Shadow of the Demon Lord books. I "play" them in my mind as I read it, imagining possible events that could happen here and there if I had the normal brain to play with other people. Of course doing this is but a shadow of the actual game, you need more people, there's no way around that. I'm an awkward fuck and too shy to even use a mic on roll20. I have an account on that site since 2013 and played for a grand total of 4 or 5 hours before giving up to anxiety.

I even have some minis and dice which I have used in the past for solo play but now they just sit here gathering dust. I spend my days listening to Dungeon Synth and reading RPG modules, pretending I'm planning an adventure for my players. It's sad if I think about it but most of the time I'm actually having fun doing it. I'm not so ashamed of it anymore since finding out a bunch of people on YouTube that does the exact same thing, it gave some validation to the way I approach RPGs for some reason.
>> No. 25771 [Edit]
File 159587136699.jpg - (435.40KB , 1134x1021 , 1557336300690.jpg )
25771
>>25769
For me all started with Infinity Engine games in first 00's, I just loved the universe and read the AD&D manual in a daily basis while fantasizing about creating characters, campaigns and stuff.
Some years ago I discovered Mythic and read a little about it, but I guess deep inside I suspected what you said; it just doesn't work that well.
I also got dices and various manuals, and really like tabletop games too, specially the expensive ones with good package and miniatures, but it's awkward to spend money on them knowing I will never be able to properly play unless they have a single mode, and those aren't usually too fun to start with.
While I spend most of my time on them, videogames aren't the same. Most similar thing I ever played was Neverwinter Nights, and while it was great it was also a hassle with too much human interaction and drama.
Do you think we could figure something or we are just cursed to be loners in a social hobby?
>> No. 25773 [Edit]
File 159588350852.jpg - (130.55KB , 500x728 , 1234.jpg )
25773
>>25771
Have you ever gave a serious shot at a roll20 game? If you have no problem using a mic it can get pretty interesting and it will be the closest thing out there to a tabletop experience online. There's also D&D Adventurers League, go to the wizards of the coast website and there's a game finder there, see if there's any in your area, if you're in the US chances are there is one. I'm pretty sure you know all this stuff but I feel like saying it just in case. I'm building confidence to give roll20 another shot eventually, If you're too much of a shut-in then roll20 really is your last hope that I'm aware of.
>> No. 25774 [Edit]
>>25767
>there was partnering up with some senpai to teach me techniques.... enduring the pain until i could inflict the pain on others
That seems a bit odd. I used to do some shotokan karate, and while pressure points were not a major element when we did do joint locks there was a strong emphasis that partner should visibly signal when he feels that the technique is "working" (i.e. he shouldn't need to endure undue pain).

*(which I incidentally quite enjoyed the "precision and form" aspects of – although I'd say it's practically useless for "real world" fighting as shotokan focuses less on "full-contact" but rather "focused contact" [i.e. keeping attacks to surface level rather than plowing through the opponent and minimizing the number of offensive attacks).
>> No. 25775 [Edit]
>>25774
I used to do some Karate type I don't remember. Sparring was absolutely painful and stressful. Every so often the toes in my left foot hurt because of that one time I kicked a guy with metal implants in their leg below the waist.
>> No. 25776 [Edit]
>>25773
>If you have no problem using a mic

I have. I tried roll20 years ago when I was a user of wizardchan, I was the only one without using a mic, it felt awkward and I suspect everyone was starting to get annoyed with me so I just left after a couple of sessions.
Chat would be my only way to communicate and it would still be extremely awkward.
>> No. 25780 [Edit]
>Not having people to go to restaurants with
I'll be honest, having gone to restaurants by myself several times and hell even worked as a waiter at one, it isn't so bad. I have more respect for them now, and when I worked at one I always gave them a wide berth apart from refilling their drinks. Even in public, some people just want to be left alone.
>> No. 25784 [Edit]
>>25771
>>25773
It will all go away once you try, anon. I was like this as well, during my childhood I found the monster book of 3.5, and would spend a lot of time in the library reading that, looking at the pictures and imagining all that. About 10 years later I joined a group in real life. It was disappointing to say the least. Now I don't even feel like playing it anymore, even though I wanted to do it so much for years.
>> No. 25786 [Edit]
>>25776
Then we're on the same boat. Only way out if to get used to the mic. I've been talking to myself with the mic on just to get confortable with it, eventually I'll give it another shot. Other than that I really don't see any other alternative other than just reading the books and enjoy the content like that.
>>25784
But I have played before like I said in previous posts itt and had a really good time.
>> No. 25787 [Edit]
Lately I've been trying to escape loner life, during puberty I embraced it as I had trouble making friends and told myself that being alone is part of me, it was a lie I told myself, it was cope.
Now I'm nearing 30, have no social network and it's a struggle, I'm learning that even small interactions with other human beans can be very enjoyable, when no strings are attached. I still miss a deeper connection with others, I want to start working on my body, fitness and strength training but it would be nice if I had someone to do it with, someone who could encourage me and pull me through. And as it is now, all the effort and motivation has to come from myself, which is possible but I find it very difficult.

As I grow older I realize the value of having a connection with other people, I still enjoy my time alone but sometimes I just want someone to talk to about things I like and plans I have, something that was substituted by ching chong imageboards for a long time but it just doesn't seem to cut it anymore.
>> No. 25788 [Edit]
>>25787
You should have realized by now that average people wont accept you for who you are and having relationships with them means pretending to be someone you're not. If you're not good enough at entertaining and validating them, they wont stay interested in you either. If you can't be yourself around others, you'll feel just as lonely with them sucking up your time and energy.
>> No. 25789 [Edit]
>>25787
In my case, as I grew older I realized human relations aren't particularly enjoyable in most cases. You could feel a need of social relations because as a human you're programmed to be like that since social relations improve your chances of survival, but that doesn't mean they are going to be fulfilling or anything like that.
Still, if that's what you think you need to do, then do it, only important thing is to be free and not to be affected by the multiple ways social pressure works. I suspect most people are unhappy because they think that's how they are supposed to feel, but they could be perfectly fine by themselves with the right mindset.
>> No. 25790 [Edit]
>>25789
>>25788
I think one thing that changed with me the past years is that I no longer feel that pressure to pretend to be someone else and to match the expectations of others. I now feel more free to be who I am and thus feel like I can enjoy interaction with others more.
Though I still struggle to actually come across new people, I tried it through sports and hobbies but c*rona fucked that up and killed my motivation for a fair bit too but I'm slowly setting up a recovery plan.

Anyway, as I said before, I still enjoy time alone, I don't plan to give that up but it'd be nice to have some people I can rely on around me.
>> No. 25791 [Edit]
>>25790
When you have to hide most of your interests and beliefs, you aren't being yourself. Even if you have a few things in common, that's no guarantee that the other person is reliable. You don't know if a person is reliable until you need something from them, so you could waste a lot of time on people who actually couldn't care less about you.

Post edited on 3rd Aug 2020, 8:57am
>> No. 25792 [Edit]
>>25791
>When you have to hide most of your interests and beliefs, you aren't being yourself
Then stop hiding your interests and beliefs.
I don't want to live like a shut-in any more and I've accepted the consequences. If I can at least find 1 reliable person, I would be grateful.

View catalog

Delete post []
Password  
Report post
Reason  


[Home] [Manage]



[ Rules ] [ an / foe / ma / mp3 / vg / vn ] [ cr / fig / navi ] [ mai / ot / so / tat ] [ arc / ddl / irc / lol / ns / pic ] [ home ]