I have no 'reasons' to keep me alive. I just stopped looking for one.

After thinking in my early teens indeed that I'd find some cosmic or important relevation about that question, nowadays it's mostly just plans, any plans. A coffee tomorrow, or anything. I try to think in small steps about it.

>>27380
I'm not sure.
Some months ago I was hitting rock bottom, I felt tempted to throw myself in front of the train every morning. I also had a suicide plan and thought about selling everything and how to leave an inheritance. It felt like the logical thing to do, but my mother is old so I thought it would be better to wait a little so not to cause such a terrible experience at the end of her life.
Now I'm far less suicidal but I can't say I have important reasons to keep living, just less reasons to die. I guess I still hope I can have a little existence in peace and without too much trouble, I don't have any great expectations, just living without pain and anxiety would be good enough.

This thread reminds me of a time, three years ago. I googled "why live" or something, and a site called "a reason" or something popped up. I clicked it and the homepage was something telling that the site would tell me some reasons to keep living, and there was a link on the last word, that was "find out reasons to keep living" I clicked it and it redirected to a fucking "404 not found" page.

Right now? Tea sets, OP. They're adorable. Specially those portable ones. I've been making my tea in an old mug and using a saucer to avoid teas transfering to the drinking cup for years, I really should get one of those.
You have to aim at finding beauty in the world. You'll never know where you'll find it, but it's there if you look for it. For the next month it will be tea sets.

>>27384
I think you mean this site https://areason.org/ and it's up and functioning again.

The Forever Decision by Paul G. Quinnett also helped me somewhat to gain new perspectives at certain times.

I think it would help a lot if you stopped looking for justification for your life. You (and most other people) aren't going to find any. You have as much right to live as any other creature on this planet, most of which don't need a reason to stay alive.

Honestly, none. Just that death is a higher effort than my current state. I also sometimes feel warm and fuzzy from watching anime girls do cute things and be nice friends to each other.

>After thinking in my early teens indeed that I'd find some cosmic or important relevation about that question
I lean more towards the pessimist viewpoint myself, in the vein of Zapffe (>>27112): that consciousness was a mistake and we've built up facades to shield us from that bitter truth. I also have the suspicion that some religions were rooted in this observation, but over time things got diluted to make it more palatable to the massses and in the process of natural selection the message shifted from "life is suffering, period" to "yes life on earth is suffering, but it's worth living so you can be free in the next one".

And at the very least, such a viewpoint doesn't seem strictly any worse than whatever bullshit so-called enlightened folks try to pass off these days. Go look at any video on so-called gurus of buddhism, hinduism, etc. and their entire talks are basically a semantic fog.

>nowadays it's mostly just plans, any plans.
I've realized this too (and it also fits nicely into Zapffe's framework). The only time when I don't feel any sort of pain is when I'm either immersed in something (e.g. a show, coding, etc.) or when I have something to look forward towards. I guess in both cases your mind is not strictly living "in the moment" (which is why I always find it weird that those who espouse meditation always tell you to live in the moment. From my experience, living "in the moment" is precisely when I am most melancholic, because you are forced to confront the bleakness of existence.)

>>27392
>consciousness was a mistake... "life is suffering, period"
I don't think consciousness necessarily leads to suffering because something can be conscious without having the capacity to suffer. People with anti-social personality disorder are similar to that. They aren't strongly affected by sadness, fear, guilt or shame. They still have thoughts and self-awareness, but they are mostly free of those impairments. That's a better way to be in my opinion.

生きる意志がまったくないくせに死ぬのだけは御免だという。
生きる理由がまったくないくせに死ぬのだけは恐いという。
生と死のどちらも選べずに境界の上で綱渡りだ。
心がガランドウにもなるさ

>>27393
Hm this is a good point. I've also read of people who don't have the ability to feel pain [1], and this translates to emotional pain as well (i.e. they don't feel sadness). My rebuttal here would be that for this specific class of people, they're only selectively experiencing the world, since they could have their hand on a hot stove and not feel anything even though they'd be burned in a few seconds.

I'm not sure how this applies to the example you mentioned of anti-social people though. I guess it should also be noted that the suffering I mentioned isn't really sadness per se but more of a tedium/weariness (for me at least). Despite not experiencing sadness or fear, do they still experience boredom and frustration?

[1] https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20170426-the-people-who-never-feel-any-pain

>>27401
>they're only selectively experiencing the world
Pain isn't an intrinsic part of the world though. It's a biological adaptation. We perceive things as unpleasant for functional reasons, but our perception is arbitrary.

>do they still experience boredom and frustration
I don't know. It depends on the individual I would guess.

I keep myself involved with imageboard communities. Be it partaking in/organizing events or running my own site. It feels good to give back to the people that allow me to not feel completely alone. I can only hope that I give them the same.

My hobbies. A desire to know certain answers before i die. That's about it.

>>27380
inertia

i wanna see what happens next

I've developed a belief that I'll be reborn with my waifu in a different life, and that suicide would keep me from this.
maybe it's just my survival instinct internalised, but I'd do anything for her.

>>27488
doesn't sound any more crazy than other religions

>>27380
Suicide isn't an option for me. I tried it numerous times and failed, always. I'm too passive, cowardly and avoid pain/discomfort too much to be able to do it. I stopped idealizing suicide and thinking of it as the easy way out, as a train I can just jump on whenever I feel like it and wave goodbye to this cruel world.

So I will have to grind and bear it, even if life is hard. Fated to live, I guess. As for reasons, I am okay with living for small pleasures and enjoying my hobbies. As long as I can be a NEET and have somewhere to live+I can eat+I have internet I am all right, in fact I enjoy this life very much. My sorrows come from the knowledge that this state can't last forever.

Fundamentally it's that I know suicide can't be relied on for me because it's very difficult to actually carry out. Less fundamental reasons include; engaging in media/writings/art that i've been wanting to engage in for ages, trying to create worthwhile art (if possible), learning
japanese and creating a home environment I feel more comfortable in.

I keep telling myself that nobody's there to enjoy the things solely I enjoy. That's especially true if I don't consider sharing, supporting, shaping the future of whatever positive things I come across.

Bloody-mindedness. Even if I can't win, I want /god/the universe/whatever to earn my defeat.

Just some vague hope that maybe someday things will get better, even though I know they won't.

I really don't know.
As a citizen from a well know hellhole third world nation of South America, aside suicide, there is nothing to do here if you aren't a normalfag. It's just a matter of time until I get locked inside a loony bin of high security correctional facility.

>>27380
I am pretty invested in extremist politics, mostly out of spite for normies and because I hate this society. Following the day-to-day of my pet movement and helping out where I can is goal-directed in a way. I feel like I’m making an impact on the world whenever the personality I support grabs headlines and causes controversy.

I also like following a competitive video game which ranks the best players every year. I have a favorite who I cheer for and support.

>I also like following a competitive video game
Curious about this one.
A wild guess ... League of Legends ?

>>28169
SSBM

I unironically believe I am being punished for past sins.

>>28215
That makes two of us.

Yesterday, i overdosed on amphetamines.
I was also feeling suicidal, so this got me to disregard any safety measure or behavior.

I took a huge dose, and while my heart was racing at 180 bpm and i was about to lose consciousness.
I actually wanted to live.

I went to the ER and thank God, I'm alive.
My heart took a serious beating doe, so sport is out of question, at least for the couple of upcoming weeks.

>>28238
Glad to hear that you survived anon. Just a friendly reminder that discussing drugs is prohibited under rule 13.

The hope that I will make money online soon, live in a low cost of living place and do creative things

my fear of death

I'm just waiting my parents die so I can kill myself without any worry.

I live for creating. Writing, Drawing, Animating, Coding, I can't do all those things if I am dead. I also promised my waifu that I wouldn't want myself dead or kill myself, so I owe it to her too to keep on living.

My only problem is what happens when I've created everything I want to make. That scares me.

>>28350
If you have a lot of ambitious ideas, I can almost guarantee you that wont happen.

>>28351
Which I do. I can easily see myself gong on what I have now until at least 2030. I just know that the life I am living isn't always going to be like this, and that there is no winning solution on what to do after. The bleak uncertainty of the future is terrifying, the present depressing, and I wish I could live permanently in the past and just always go back again after reaching modern day.