>>22660
I'm a nearly 30 year old highschool drop out.
No, I don't believe the college scam or living paycheck to paycheck would make life meaningful. In fact I have no clue what would, and it's been bothering me for some time now. I don't give a shit about seeing the world, I can see it from a pc screen. I had a sports car for a while but thought it wasn't worth the trouble in maintenance or even as fun to drive/own as I thought it'd be. I've never had a real 3DPD but I find people to be disgusting. I don't care about getting some high paying "career" because I have no one to support but myself and I've got more than enough PVC garbage stacked in my closet. When I was younger I might have cared about these things and had fun with them, but not now.

Now here I am less than a year from 30, vision is getting shitty, hair falling out at an alarming rate, looks are fadding, takes more and more effort to keep wight off, hands are getting stiff and hard to move at times, teeth are metal filled Swiss cheese now, and I can't enjoy much of anything anymore. I've lost interest in pretty much everything and have nothing to look forward to in life. It's all downhill from here, even though I never got to enjoy being on the top of that hill.

>>22659
Yes, actually. I'm 27 myself, but I get the same feeling. I'm not 100% sure if I'd call it regret, because if I could do it again, I'm not sure what I'd do differently. I never had any dreams or motivation to do anything at all. Not as a child, not as an adult. Regardless, the feeling of time slipping away bothers me greatly when I think about it.

>>22662
I feel the same.

I knew a guy like this from high school. He technically didn't drop out and took something like a GED instead, but quit halfway through 11th grade. He said that his therapist said that he was too afraid of failure, and told me and others that he just didn't want to do anything in life. Last time I checked he was still living with his parents mostly playing League of Legends and watching Twitch and only coming out for food. He's only around my age so turning 22 this year, I don't know if he's going to put the effort to change though. His twin sister was pretty successful, at least academically if I recall.

I know exactly what would make my life feel worth it to me, and that just makes it worse. All the stories I watch and read, it's because that IS the life that I want to have. Adventure, and meeting different, interesting people who could be enjoyable company or challenges. But the world is too boring. About a month ago I thought I could actually enjoy the world or find something I liked in it, I thought that it would help me clear or sort my thoughts. I went off hiking and camping alone, but to my dismay I found things I thought I would find interesting dull and boring. Watching trains was not as fun as it was as a child, I felt like I was merely seeing the image of a train, I felt nothing from it. When I got back I was even less certain of myself than ever before. I thought camping would be fun, and relaxing, but it was just a confirmation that my emotions for this world were dead. Now I can only hope that someday something or someone will do what I cannot and either make this world interesting or take me to an interesting world before I cease to exist.

Post edited on 19th May 2017, 2:22am

>>22667
I know exactly what you mean. When I look at the world, I don't see anything within reach that could make me enjoy it or like it. It's just dull, empty, and restrictive.

I've managed to fool myself into thinking that if I were to get strong, I might be able to do something. I'm not sure if it's right of me to even humor the idea, but it's the only thing that I can do. I'm trying to get strong not only physically, but in every way possible to somehow change something in myself if not the world around me.

I know that it's delusional, stupid, and outright foolish to entertain such an idea, but it's all I've got left in this world.

>>22668
It's kind of the same way for me. And I've been aware since I was about 10 years old that the only things I actually liked or cared about were fictional. I always knew I didn't want to work the boring lives other people did, but I guess until I about 18 I somehow thought something would happen to make the world as interesting as stories. Even now it's a hard delusion to break, but I know that escapism is the only life for me.

>>22659
>>Has anyone else here done absolutely nothing with their life and regret it?
Why live a life constantly pursued by the expectations of others? If you find something you want to do, you should do it. Chances are, if you're thinking of things like a wasted life, I'd say you're probably internalizing what others believe makes a life "worth living". That's just my experience though. Once I started being concerned with what I want to do, rather than feeling bad because I'm not in a relationship/making a lot of money/being in a position of high status as the world pushes me into wanting, I felt a lot better. Those are mostly all illusions anyway.Simply be kind to others, and behave ethically and you're already a finer human being than most.

I went to college, was a NEET for a year, did a certification as a pharmacy technician for a year, went to Tennessee to get a Master's degree for two years, came back when I was 26 after obtaining it to be with my sick mother (who died two years later), and it was all for nothing outside of becoming intellectually mature.

Do I regret it? Yes and no. I do regret it because now I'm on SSI and have only worked two jobs, both of them vastly under my skill level (although only one was shitty). I've been stuck here since 2010 and while I might move, sooner or later, I have no idea where to go. No place for me. No one to be with, or connect to. All I do is play computer games and occasionally write interesting things. I barely have done anything worthwhile since 2014 outside of no longer having roommates. I don't see it changing anytime soon, although I'm not very mad about anything anymore. At least I stopped drinking alcohol five months ago.

I do have regret, because it was all for nothing. I should have chosen a different path. But at least I tried, you know? And my life is technically better than it was since I came back home, and I'm not doing stupid stuff like going to bars alone, getting drunk every night off a six-pack of cheap beer (or more) and getting high on dumb legal highs (outside of DXM; I like that one too much).

It might get better. My health isn't quite as good as it once was (I just recently obtained a slipped disc in my back), but at least I'm no longer degenerate and it seems to be on the road to recovery. I just need to actually do something, but I have the odd feeling that 2017 would be a bad year to do that. I need to wait until next year, because everyone is so pissed off. I can't go to a certain place anymore because I made a dumb joke that was taken out of context (and was ratted on by a person who knew me for over six years and I thought that she was solid).

I just have to be more careful. I can't trust anyone anymore. Once your mother dies, no one else is there for you. Learn from me, kids.

>>22659
I was going to make a new thread, but this one feels fitting enough without having to do so.

I've managed to vaguely will up the motivation to actually pick up old hobbies again lately, namely some programming side projects and learning Japanese again.
Recently though I just have this constant nagging thought in the back of my mind about how much time I've wasted, how much better at Japanese I could be... It's difficult to deal with.

I hope the other posters in this thread from years gone by are doing a little better, at least.

>>22661
Me here.
I ended up deciding to try and do something after all. Pretty much flipped my mostly stable life on it's head. I got away from my parents and got an apartment thousands of miles away from them. I'm wage slaving now in a new field that for the first time isn't a dead end job.
I don't know if this is going to work out, but it seemed at least worth a shot.

Yes. But then if I lived again I would have done the same things. I was not aware of what I really wanted in life and how I wanted to live.
I always planned to become an Infantry officer, tore my ACL playing soccer, spent years recovering from it then got told that I was unfit due to it on what was really just a technicality that other armies ignored, so trained and saved up to join the French Foreighn Legion for years and it was when I got there that I realised that what I really wanted was to just sit at home and do my own thing, I just wanted to watch anime, play games and read books. The Adventure of the army would be nice, but it gets in the way of everything else.
Then I spent years looking at how to get a job that I could tolerate but that would not get in the way of my life, but it does not exist, even one day a week doing security is too much for me.
So then next I looked at how I could get on Welfare for Autism, which would mean I no longer have to work, that took years as well and when I finally got it it was not enough. So I am going to be 30 next year and I still live in my mum's garage.
I have been saving up what I can for a few years and I will eventually be able to buy a house, but if I had committed to this plan form day one, I would have had a house by the time I was 23.
I feel like I have wasted my 20s focusing on what I should not have been focusing on and so I have both not enjoyed it like I should have, not done the things I should have but also I have lost years of progress towards what my real goals actually are.
But again, I did not know this at the time and an argument could be made that I had to do the things I did to find this out.

I wonder if I'm wasting my time as I write this post. Honestly, I really enjoy my lifestyle. I get to sleep 12+ hours a day, watch anime, read VNs, play games, and occasionally have fun on imageboards. It isn't until someone else purposefully causes me problems I have any issues. That isn't to say I'm completely in the right as some bum NEET, but shitting on me isn't going to encourage me to "improve".
No matter, I would like to get a job soon so that I can save for things I'd like before I have to work to live. It's just a bit difficult for me to do so.

>>27643
> even one day a week doing security is too much for me.
I don't think army infrantry would have worked out, bad knee or no. I'm surpised you were able to play soccer.

>>27645
True, probably not.
What is surprising about being able to play soccer?

>>27646
It requires dedication and regular, almost daily practice.

>>27647
I wasn't playing in the Premier League... We had training twice a week but most people didn't even go on the second night. I was just playing local football.

I finished community college, but I'm basically unemployable due to reputation. I'm in my mid 20s and pretty much doomed to autismbux. I wish there was some way to make some money without fucking myself over and without having to worry about getting sacked for some stupid arbitrary reason like "I'm the employer, I've decided I don't like you, goodbye"

>>27650
What do you mean by reputation?

>>27650
>doomed to autismbux
If something, it's "blessed".
About what you asked for, there's public jobs.
It all depends on the country and they can be hard to obtain but if you do you can't possibly get fired ever again and things like your reputation aren't particularly relevant anymore. It's one of the few ways to partially escape of the horrors of the labor market. Though I would preffer not to need to work at all.

>>27650
Kind of in a similar boat. Even if I wanted to work, nobody would say good things about me if I asked them to reference for me. Left on bad terms everywhere.
I get why they ask, but having the ability to work basically be determined by how much others like you is still bullshit.

>>27653
Why not stop listing off referrals that would do you more harm than good then?

I've done absolutely nothing during my 5 years spent as a neet. I've tried to start drawing countless times, but I can't even motivate myself to pick up a pencil and practice. I also tried to get into reading, but my attention span is too fried to even play video games these days; most of my time is spent sat in front of my computer lurking various imageboards and consuming media, most of which I don't even enjoy that much. I have 0 motivation to do anything else and I hate myself for it. I've let my body go to shit and it's a struggle for me to even take care of my teeth, I always tell myself I'm going to fix my problems, but I never do. I wish I had a hobby, but I can't seem to find an interest in anything that even takes a trivial amount of brain power. I feel like the most uninteresting piece of shit ever, I can't even talk to people online about even the most surface-level interests like video games or music. This has been on my mind for a few weeks now, as I am in currently the in the process of being forced out of neetdom by my mother, it's been quite hard for me to accept that I just threw 5 years of my life away doing absolutely nothing. I almost want to cry. I let 5 years totally slip by without doing anything to better myself, in favor of what? Nothing. I wasn't even enjoying myself, so why was it so hard for me to do something useful?

>>27658
What was your daily routine like? Time you go to bed, time your wake up. What sort of food you ate. Stuff like that.

Post edited on 30th Aug 2022, 5:33pm

>>27658
>without doing anything to better myself
What would you consider as "bettering yourself", and to what extent would you believe bettering yourself would improve your life? Even if suddenyl one day I gained the ability to draw, to me that just feels like another means of passing time, not much different than watching anime. Even something "useful" like programming is ultimately just another means of passing time – either directly (working on projects), or indirectly (allowing you to obtain a job which provides enough money so that you can sustain yourself by wageslaving so that you can pass time on the weekends).

>>22659
There's no escape. As someone who has done both: you'll regret it if you spend your life wageslaving, leaving no time for leisure amidst work and chores. On the other hand, you'll also regret it if you sit around idle to the point that nothing amuses you anymore. Either which way, it all feels like wasted time.

There are things that I would like to do since I have enjoyed them in the past or it relates to my values, but it somehow seems to be the case that I never get around to any of it no matter how much or how little free time I have. Ultimately, it must be the case that I am somehow at fault for never - under any circumstances - mustering up the willpower to do things harder than the most passive choices (e.g. chores, all day on imageboards). Not sure how to flip the switch and start enjoying things again.

>>27661
>Not sure how to flip the switch and start enjoying things again.

What have u tried so far? How did it go? I cant change any of my bad habbits or take up new good ones. As if i'm watching a movie of my life without having much control over it.

>>27659
I never really had a pattern, I just sleep and wake up whenever I feel like it. I suppose I prefer staying up at night and sleeping through the day since it's more cosy that way, but I've never really made an effort to wake up at a set time or anything. Typically, once I'm awake I'll watch YouTube or anime in bed for a couple of hours, maybe message some online friends if I feel like it. When I get out of bed, I generally just do the same thing except on my computer, occasionally I'll play a game if I can be bothered, if not I'll probably just browse image boards while watching videos for the majority of my day. When I'm back in bed I usually just watch a couple of episodes of a show, or fall asleep to YouTube. Most of the time I don't even enjoy the garbage I watch on that platform, it's just nice to hear someone's voice as I drift off.
As for what I eat, I spent a good portion of my neet years eating junk food I ordered online, which meant a lot of soda too. I had a pretty good metabolism when I was younger, but the further I get from my teen years, the more I can see the effects of eating like shit. Which is why recently I've been trying to cut out soda and fast food altogether, though sometimes I do give in. Recently, I've just tried to stick to drinking a lot of water, and eating whatever I can find in the house, which isn't always healthy but definitely better than fast food every night. My current eating habits are definitely a lot better than what they were a year ago that's for sure.
>>27660
I see what you're getting at, but I feel like I would have been more satisfied if I managed to actually achieve something during these years instead of being a complete parasite and wallowing in my own self-pity. Sure, I could start learning how to draw now, but I'll never have as much time as I did when I was doing fuck all. It just hurts.

>>27663
You've answered your own question
>why was it so hard for me to do something useful
>I've never really made an effort to wake up at a set time or anything
>once I'm awake I'll watch YouTube or anime in bed for a couple of hours
>I spent a good portion of my neet years eating junk food I ordered online, which meant a lot of soda
You can't do anything useful if you have no energy because your health has gone down the toilet. Even when you don't feel exhausted, you can't mentally focus on anything.

Post edited on 1st Sep 2022, 4:31pm

>>27658
It sounds cold but you gain nothing by lamenting it.
All you can do is try and do better, falling into misery and regret only leads to you wasting more time.

>>27658
I almost thought I wrote this post when I read it. I've always felt so awkward when talking about video games or music because even though I'm a very reclusive, computer bound person, I never picked up much of that kind of stuff. The most I ever spent time on was Manga and Anime and outside that, the sporadic listening to of various electronic music genres. I just don't have a deep interest in most topics.

>>27639
I wish you the best anon. Did you got over your anhedonia?