NEET is not a label, it's a way of life!
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File 149418623294.jpg - (162.60KB , 1920x1080 , [HorribleSubs] Brave Witches - 08 [1080p]_mkv_snap.jpg )
22622 No. 22622 [Edit]
What keeps you from committing suicide?
Expand all images
>> No. 22623 [Edit]
Mai waifu, novels I want to read, games I want to play, anime I want to watch, food I want to eat... I guess at this point I'm either not having that bad of a time, or I'm able to keep myself so occupied to where it doesn't seem like a big deal.
>> No. 22624 [Edit]
>>22622
There's nothing after this. Might as well get comfortable.
>> No. 22625 [Edit]
My life is nothing but disappointment after disappoint. I've done nothing with my it and never will. I don't have anything to look forward to, anything I do ends up as a disappointment too. I'll never have friends or a 3dpd, everyone I meet tells me I'm a nice guy but then get stick of me and disappear soon after if I get too close. It's starting to feel like a condescending insult when people say it now. I try to be nice to people, even people who I think are assholes, but I can never truly trust anyone after being used and abused too many times to count. I'm a high school drop out who's too stupid for a ged, let alone college. I can barely function from day to day, but I'm not bad enough for government aid. I don't care about fancy houses or need some exotic sports car, so I don't need a high paying career anyway. The stuff I do buy almost always gives me buyer's remorse, and/or ends up sitting around collecting dust. Every form of media only seems to get more repetitive and uninteresting as time goes on. I lost interest in game consoles last gen. Anime feels like the same stupid shit I've seen a million times. I couldn't care less about music.
I want to die, not so much because of some feeling of depression necessarily but because living feels so pointless to me. The only person who gives a crap about me is my mom and I'll probably have to watch her die in another 10-20 years, then I'll be alone and wont have any reason not to kill myself. Maybe if I keep saving up my money I can get a house of my own, but then what? Sit in my room jerking it to anime till I die? I don't even have much of a sex drive anymore. I run a small website that not many would miss when it's gone and can easily be replaced. All I can really do is watch other people be happy and do/experience things I never will while living by proxy trough them.

tl;dr my mom is the only thing keeping me from Gensokyo.

Post edited on 7th May 2017, 6:40pm
>> No. 22627 [Edit]
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22627
Fear. I have become pessimistic enough to become so sure that there exists a hell but a heaven does not. It's the curse of being born into a religious family.

Still, I want to die so badly. I don't know how much longer I can tolerate this. Everyone is better off without me anyway, including myself.
>> No. 22628 [Edit]
File 149422520116.jpg - (103.83KB , 1280x720 , [HorribleSubs] Brave Witches - 08 [720p]_mkv-0006.jpg )
22628
Fear.
>> No. 22629 [Edit]
Escapism and ultimately hedonism. Like >>22623 said, hobbies occupy me enough to the point where I can stave off misery so as long as I don't think about the future or allow my mind to wander.

I'm pretty much a parasite, sure, but I have no attachment whatsoever to human civilization and quite frankly couldn't care less about "contributing" to a dying society. I don't fear death, but I do fear what I might miss if I were to randomly decide to commit suicide tomorrow. What kind of video games and anime will be produced over the course of my life- or even the duration of my life in which I have a somewhat comfortable existence being a leech? What if advanced waifu interaction technology is developed in 15 years and I'm not around to experience it? Thoughts like these legitimately bother me whenever I think about dying, even if it is little more than mindless hedonism.
>> No. 22632 [Edit]
I'm too much of a pussy to go through with it.

Maybe one day I'll be strong enough to do it without fear and remorse. Then I could just let everything go.
>> No. 22646 [Edit]
My sister shot herself a couple years ago, and it would destroy my mom if I went that way too.
>> No. 22652 [Edit]
If I die today, I'll never know about all the anime, manga, and other 2D media that I might have enjoyed had I lived. What if I kill myself the day before an anime that turns out to be my favorite is announced?
>> No. 22748 [Edit]
Food. I love cooking and eating. Can't eat if I'm dead. Also it would prove them right, everyone who mocked me and tormented me. So I'll stay alive, I won't give them that final pleasure.

Post edited on 5th Jun 2017, 8:35pm
>> No. 22749 [Edit]
It's too hard, I'll do it tomorrow.
>> No. 22958 [Edit]
Irrational emotional attachment to my family.
>> No. 22961 [Edit]
Can't find a good way to go. Yet.
>> No. 22964 [Edit]
I tell myself it's because of my parents and pets, but it's really just because I'm a coward
>> No. 22995 [Edit]
>>22622
Access to drugs that will give me a semblance of peace when I go.
>> No. 23333 [Edit]
File 151789513624.gif - (1.53MB , 500x300 , 1493833591990.gif )
23333
>>22622
Music
taking my motorcycle up the mountain staring off into the setting sun on lonely nights
>> No. 23334 [Edit]
Cowardice plain and simple.
>> No. 23370 [Edit]
For today, my waifu and heavy alcohol.
>> No. 23382 [Edit]
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23382
too many people know me.
mother needs me for paying half the rent.
Oh and there is the new dancing game about my waifu coming soon.
>> No. 23390 [Edit]
>>22622
I still have a lot of confidence that things will finally be right in the future.

I also care too much for a few people in my life to commit suicide, it would be really selfish of me to kill myself and make them suffer, and they really look up to me despite me being a useless piece of shit.
>> No. 23391 [Edit]
>>23333
I wish I could do that. The place I live in is extremely boring.
>> No. 23594 [Edit]
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23594
>>23391
You'd be surprised at the cool places you'll find just strolling around in your shitty town, trust me. Even if you have to drive out of your hometown, do it. I live in southern california near the border, so there are a lot of places that look like the "wild west", going on old roads and stuff.
I like to put on my weird indie music I find on youtube and just go
>> No. 23613 [Edit]
I think about it all the time, but I'm scared of the physical pain. Then there's the thought of people rummaging through my HDD and computer. The shame... I also don't want to hurt my parents. I just got on good terms with them. Wouldn't want to see them suffer because of my death.
>> No. 23614 [Edit]
A depressed dude on certain image boards by the name “shuaiby” recently blew his head off on livestream with a shotgun. After he did it his mom came in and was sobbing uncontrollably, and it was awful.

She is emotionally devastated. She will probably blame herself and be depressed and have a hard time coping for years to come.

Suicide is very selfish.
>> No. 23615 [Edit]
>>23614
Your emotional problems are YOURS to deal with. It's YOUR buisness. The guy had his own problems and made his own decisions. If his mom cared so much then she should've helped.
>> No. 23616 [Edit]
>>23615
While I normally dislike people who say cliche stuff like "Suicide is selfish." or "only cowards kill themselves" In this particular case it does sound like he made his problems into his mom's problems. And It's unfair to claim she should have helped. Maybe she tried to, maybe she had no clue he was suffering. Who knows?
>> No. 23631 [Edit]
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23631
Family and hope that things can get better. I try to think about even the tiniest things to be happy about. Even now, I can find comfort in knowing this chan is still alive.
>> No. 23632 [Edit]
File 152974642059.jpg - (1.04MB , 3024x4032 , 1bvygg20ghsz.jpg )
23632
>>23616
I do understand that he could have taken a few steps, such as committing suicide in some other place and have the authorities notify his parents to spare them having to behold the gruesome outcome, but in his defense, just as his parents did not wish to see the scene, maybe he neither wished to be born. Maybe he wanted to die in a place that felt like home. It could even have been some form of revenge against his parents. Morals are a flimsy thing at best, he at least left without taking physical revenge on anyone.
>> No. 23633 [Edit]
>>23632
Even so, he didn't need to livestream it. He blew his head off for an audience of people who didn't need to see that.
>> No. 23634 [Edit]
>>23633
Isn't watching a live stream voluntary? What logic is that?
>> No. 24140 [Edit]
>>22622
The small chance I'll fuck it up and end up a vegetable. Nothing scares me more than being imprisoned inside my own body.
>> No. 24141 [Edit]
>>22622
Mostly my backlog and the book I want to write. More importantly though, the fake count is cute.
>> No. 24142 [Edit]
Because I don't mind this life too much. It's only when they make me do work for the dole that I will think about it again, because it's a choice between doing something horrid that makes me want to kill myself or being cut off welfare and feeling miserable and guilty for not providing for the house but still draining resources. If I could find a way to make $50 a week that would be enough to cover myself.
>> No. 24172 [Edit]
>>22625
What is your website? I would love to drop by sometime.
>> No. 24246 [Edit]
My mom has had a tough life I could never do something that would hurt her like that.
>> No. 24247 [Edit]
>>23634
It cheapens the death. Like someone taking a selfie of themselves crying. Pathetic attention whoring to the bitter end.
>> No. 24250 [Edit]
>>24247
What a fetid cunt you are.
>> No. 24251 [Edit]
>>22625
You don't go to Gensokyo if you kill yourself... That isn't how to get there.
>> No. 24252 [Edit]
>>23614
This is the only thing that keeps me going. Once my mom passes away however, all bets are off.
>> No. 24253 [Edit]
>>24247
>Pathetic attention whoring
I'm sorry you see it that way, but some people need desperately need that attention. I don't think it's pathetic. Most people want to feel loved or cared for or noticed to some degree. It can be hard living life like some ghost, being treated like you're invisible by the world you're stuck living in. It can make life feel really empty and pointless. I don't blame someone for wanting to say "I was here" as they go out. I've considered doing the same.
>> No. 24254 [Edit]
Fear, mostly. I also love my parents to the point I wouldn't want to hurt them anymore than I already have.
>> No. 24257 [Edit]
>>24250
I’m a cunt for not approving of someone filming their suicide. How warped has your mind become from image boards?
>> No. 24258 [Edit]
>>24257
Maybe he's Australian? You know how they like to call everyone a cunt.
>> No. 24259 [Edit]
>>24257
You can take that approval and shove it, it was never yours to be given.
>> No. 24260 [Edit]
>>24259
My opinion doesn’t affect anything so I don’t know why it is so upsetting.

Suicide? Sure.

Suicide as a cry for attention? Dumb.

Don’t see how that view evokes such a reaction.

Don’t you think a community that gets off on watching suicide live-streams is sickening?

Not replying after this. Don’t want to clutter thread.
>> No. 24261 [Edit]
I feel guilty about the legal ramifications suicide brings to my peers, I remember a board used to have say “no last posts, no i’m killing myself at x” because it becomes a legal problem for others
The last thing i’d want is to make other people troubled or unhappy. I wish I didn’t exist.
>> No. 24267 [Edit]
I still find enjoyment in new entertainment that comes out.
>> No. 24318 [Edit]
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24318
Mom would be sad

Also because of general cowardice. I don't want to go through the possibility of experiencing the physical pain that may come with it and probably have some lingering fear of death still.
>> No. 24321 [Edit]
Suicide leaves ones mind so clouded they won’t be able to enter the Pure Land and leaves one with negative karma.
>> No. 24322 [Edit]
>>24321
If Buddhists don't believe in reicarnation, their logical solution to suffering would be suicide.
>> No. 24323 [Edit]
>>24322
But most of them do? Isn’t reincarnation like the whole point of most dharmic shit?
>> No. 24324 [Edit]
>>24322
They do but it's not allowed. Kind of like how if a Christian does it he does not go to heaven but hell, if a Buddhist does it he will go to hell as well.
>> No. 24325 [Edit]
>>24323
What I am trying to say is that like all religions, Buddhists hinge its philosophy on a number of yet proven supernatural beliefs, in this case reincarnation. Without this beliefs the whole philosophical structure will fall apart. The point of Buddhism is that our current mundane existence is suffering. Unlike other beliefs, Buddhists reject the idea that true happiness and liberation from suffering is possible in this world. Their solution is to get rid of all of your attachments, that way you will cease to reincarnate upon your death. While the Sutras is very obscure on the topic of what this enlightened existence or non-existence is like, we can at least infer that at the core of Buddhists belief is the denial of an unenlightened life in the world, the Samsara, which might as well be the life all of us know until death. What I am trying to say in my post is that, if you were to hypothetically take out the belief of reincarnation and afterlife from Buddhist philosophy, the logical conclusion would be suicide. After all, you have rejected that happiness and liberation is possible in this life, so there is only two way to resolve this problem, to achieve complete non-attachment in this life or to kill yourself. In the first method, not only will you have to painstakingly train and continue to suffer in this world for many years, it is not guaranteed that you will reach any major spiritual advancements and beside you will die and meet oblivion eventually. In the second choice however, not only will you meet the inevitable so nothing will change in the long term, you will also be free from suffering in a much faster time.

Of course if you assume the oblivion of death every religion become pointless, but especially in a life-denying religion like Buddhism would the philosophical remnants so readily point to suicide. At least how I see it, Buddhism isn't an ideology of finding meaning or happiness in life, but of coping with suffering. There is still lines in the bible that praises life and god's creation. The Taoists teaches of value in being one with the universe. But in the Sutra, from what little I have read, it has always been "Practice! Practice to sever your attachment. So that you may cease to be born in this world! So that you upon your death, you shall be free!". But what if there is no cycle of rebirth, no karmic fetters binding us to existence? All that's left is to kill ourselves. I think of Buddhism as one of the greatest religion in the world, for it uses logic in its teachings. Logic on how suffering comes from attachments and freedom comes from eliminating attachments. But if one can eliminate desire and following it suffering by killing oneselves, what uses is the hours of meditation and Sutra reading?

I don't think that life after death exists. It seems to me that the only reason to continue living is either because there is something worthwhile in life or cowardice. I don't have the former and I don't think Buddhism can help me find it. The second is the actual reason why I am still alive, and Buddhist practice can help me cope with the suffering. But at the end of the training, when I have managed to sever my attachment to cowardice, I too will have no reason to continue practicing Buddhism instead of dying. Though after all this rationalization, it is more likely that my gripe with Buddhism is that it did not solve my problem instantly and I simply lack the discipline to practice it. I do think that Buddhism has more worth than other religions out there, it's just that it's a very despairing view on existence. I don't even know what I am on about.
>> No. 24327 [Edit]
For me, hobbies make no difference because I no longer find joy in them. I've considered suicide nearly every single day for about 5 years, but somewhat seriously for about 3.

Right now, everything makes me miserable, so the thought of ending it doesn't scare me that much. I went to the urgent care once for something, and the doctor told me to go to the ER and get checked out because it could be a blood clot. But I decided I'd rather risk death than be in debt a few thousand dollars for the hospital visit, and it sort of surprised me how okay I was with the thought that I could die.

I think that life is a gamble. I know that if I end it, then I end my chance for happiness. The thought that scares me most is that if I gamble on life, and it turns out to be nothing but misery even 20, 30, or 40 years from now, I will really regret having put up with it for so long.

But, I know that it could one day turn out that I could be happy, and if that happened, then I would feel really relieved that I didn't so something so dumb as to end the chance to feel that emotion.

So for now, I do nothing. I continue to exist this way, unable to commit to living or dying, because both options seem to have fair points.
>> No. 24328 [Edit]
>>24327
Why is your life so miserable fren? What makes you sad? I mean I'm pretty ronery to but I've never been depressed like that.
>> No. 24356 [Edit]
>>24325
>>24323
>>24322
A bit late but I think reincarnation is supposed to be a bad thing, which is kind of the point of the post the other anon is making but I don’t see how suicide would be the solution when it would just make your suffering worse.
>> No. 24357 [Edit]
>>24325
This was a weird write up, but to be fair many of the sutras have endured centuries of translation and debate. And I don’t think it’s negative or life-denying. Surya Das said this on the matter “Buddha Dharma does not teach that everything is suffering. What Buddhism does say is that life, by its nature, is difficult, flawed, and imperfect. [...] That's the nature of life, and that's the First Noble Truth. From the Buddhist point of view, this is not a judgement of life's joys and sorrows; this is a simple, down-to-earth, matter-of-fact description.”
Make of that what you will.
>> No. 24399 [Edit]
This is a weird thing to bring up but do you think the people that had no issues ending their lives is why this site has so many issues connecting with people with similar interests like they used to in the old days? people in their 20s have either moved on or killed themselves, which is an epidemic.
People who have gotten this low in life and still not committing suicide is somewhat comforting.
>> No. 24400 [Edit]
If you’re in a comfortable enough position to be a hikki/NEET what is so bad where you are considering suicide? Mental health
>> No. 24402 [Edit]
>>24400
>If you’re in a comfortable enough position to be a hikki/NEET ...
Let's be real though. Although being a NEET is a "good problem to have" as it were, there is always a constant anxiety that it will end. Few people are in a comfortable enough position to live that way forever.
>> No. 24413 [Edit]
>>24402
im a hikineet and i dont carew if it ends, ill just an hero when that happens
>> No. 25100 [Edit]
would ruin my best friends life
>> No. 25101 [Edit]
cant bear imagining my mum suffering after i died
>> No. 25105 [Edit]
I will turn 33yo this year and I'm already full of this world since I can't have a decent life where I live. I'm from some third world hellhole where you can be killed over a cheap smartphone and 10 dollars, it's a hell, I don't want face such reality anymore, I'm full of this shit.
What keeps me from kill myself is my mom, but I have plans to kill myself this year if everything gets unbearable.
>> No. 25106 [Edit]
File 157810630183.jpg - (45.52KB , 451x558 , heart.jpg )
25106
>>25105
>> No. 25108 [Edit]
Delusion that things might become better one day.
>> No. 26486 [Edit]
Essentially just hedonistic enjoyment of media and the future possible shows that I might enjoy.

It's interesting that at its core most people usually live either for the sake of someone else, or for the sake of experiences (via hobbies or media). Yet when asked this question, the majority will go on about "life" is intrisically beautiful or how it's a gift that should not be squandered – and they clearly seem to buy into that.

>>23614
In an ideal society, suicide would be socially accepted and you could consent to voluntary euthanasia just like any other medical procedure. The fact that society prizes "free-will" so much but refuses to accept this is mind boggling. And it's often those who claim that "suicide is selfish" who will selfishly try to extend the life of a family member during old-age regardless of whether they're actually comfortable or not.

>>24325
That was well-written, thank you for the post.
>> No. 26487 [Edit]
>>26486
>In an ideal society, suicide would be socially accepted
Nobody really cares when somebody commits suicide, at least if they're not a white female. They don't want euthanasia to be legal or openly accept suicide as a valid option because they don't want to think about it and feel bad, or worse, start questioning the value of their own life. The majority is totally fine with others killing themselves where they can't see or hear about it.
>> No. 26493 [Edit]
I have a vision of how I want the end to play out and I'm waiting for the ideal opportunity.
>> No. 26498 [Edit]
>>24324
Buddhism says that you should not kill yourself because behind the suicidal intent is often the desire for a better life and the main goal of Buddhism is to destroy all desires. But if you choose to end your life without that desire, then you are free to take it, like those monks who burn themselves out of protest. Nothing is 'against the rules' in Buddhism, like in Abrahamic religions, the rules are meant merely as a means to an end, with the end being enlightenment. At least this was the case in the original, Orthodox Buddhism but some people who ended up adopting it did add more standard religious stuff like a belief in an afterlife.
>>24325
I have read that 'suffering' is actually an incorrect translation of samsara that gives the religion the image of a defeatist philosophy when it's not per se. Samsara is supposed to mean something like 'restlessness', a constant inner chaos and inability to take life as it is as a result of your desires.
>> No. 26499 [Edit]
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26499
>>26498
I even heard of particular techniques used by some buddhist practitioners to end their own lifes, like literally stopping your heart at will or even crazier stuff like completely disintegrating yourself in a body of light (only nails and hair were left, apparently). It's probably mostly bullshit, but still, the idea is there. Also there's the process of self-mummification, a really slow and particular kind of suicide, and that one's real for sure.
>> No. 26503 [Edit]
>>26499
I wouldn't be surprised if the more advanced monks could actually stop their heart-beats somehow. I think that some of these Buddhists may have near-superhuman control over their bodies to a realistic extent, like one thing they say is that a person who is enlightened or close to that state no longer feels physical pain. If you look at footage of that Vietnamese monk who burned himself to death, there is zero movement or sound from him, whereas most people would obviously be running around screaming when set on fire.
>> No. 26504 [Edit]
>>26503
I can certainly believe it; there have been instances where normal people undergo "disassociation" in response to heavy pain, where they're aware of it but it doesn't bother them. It's not hard to imagine that someone who practiced extreme control control could voluntarily bring themselves to that state.
>> No. 26505 [Edit]
>>26503
I know they could do things like changing body temperature at will, like melting the snow around them. I remember some anecdote of a practitioner that knew how to do it but argued it wasn't particularly worth learning since these days we can easily get proper clothes for the cold. And as you said they could master control over pain and body reactions as some vietnamese monks proved beyond doubt, I always found that really impressive. The idea of disolving your body into light seems quite more fantastical, though the mere concept is fascinating. Then there's other crazy stuff like levitating, I was told that was pure myth but what they could actually do is unreal jumps from a meditating sitting position, don't know how or what was the purpose. Shoko Asahara showed himself doing that in that silly Aum Shinrikyo anime so maybe there's some basis or a tradition behind it.
>> No. 26506 [Edit]
>>26505
>don't know how or what was the purpose
To look cool. Looking cool and trying to escape death(total oblivion) explains most of religion.
>> No. 26509 [Edit]
>>26505
I believe they could change their body temperature since Wim Hof has demonstrated enduring extreme cold climates with advanced breathing techniques. But the flying and turning into light stuff sounds too unbelievable, especially since Shoko was a conman who never showed any definite proof. Maybe stories of that happening had some sort of symbolical meaning that we are missing.
>> No. 26510 [Edit]
>>26509
I mentioned Asahara because I heard of the weird jumping from a certain person who assured he witnessed it (also denied the levitation was ever a thing), and while it didn't make too much sense he was really convincing so it got stuck in my mind. Then many years later while watching Aum Shinrikyo videos I recognized the same thing that person described.
>> No. 26521 [Edit]
>>26509
I've read that the the "Wim Hof method" is an adaption of various Tibetan tunmo techniques (and more generally, breathing technique/breath control/pranayama has been the focus of traditional yoga). I don't particularly like his branding/advertising aspects – and I'm not sure that the cold exposure is really as important as the breath control – but at the very least he's willing to work with researchers and undergo studies so that the effects of these things can be better documented.
>> No. 26534 [Edit]
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26534
>>25105
I hope COVID didn't make things unbearable for this anon.
I've said this before and I'll say it again. I'm sorry this world can be so cruel.
>> No. 26535 [Edit]
>>26534
Wish I could save all the NEETs, hikkis, and depressive types. I swear, if I ever fall into money, I'll do everything in my power to save as many of them as possible.
>> No. 26536 [Edit]
Raised Catholic and I can't help but believe in a God. I don't want to burn in hell forever and ever and ever just because I hate living. I'm trying to think long term about eternity. Even if Christians are wrong, basically every religion ever made looks down on suicide and I fear punishment

In other words, I'm a pussy.
>> No. 26537 [Edit]
>>26536
>basically every religion ever made looks down on suicide
Not Buddhism, though they pretend it doesn't count as suicide if meditation is involved. The rules are made by the living and the living doesn't want their workers leaving their post too soon. People who commit suicide never get the chance to make their own religion which the living follow.
>> No. 26538 [Edit]
>>25105
There really isn't much we can do is there? Unfortunate that some of us broke through the barriers of ignorance - the only thing that could make living in places like these bearable. I'm in an almost identical situation except I don't get along well with my mother.
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