Sometimes I wish I had someone to talk to offline, away from a keyboard. People seem to really take that for granted. I've got no one I can share thoughts and feelings with, get real advice from, or even just chitchat with. My immediate relatives include a narcissistic sociopath, a paranoid schizophrenic, and a simpleton who is hard of hearing and doesn't speak English. Due to a lack of any better alternative I try with these people all the same, only to end up in disappointment each and every time. One doesn't want to hear what I have to say, the second steers every conversation to the same insane ramblings over and over, and the the third generally fails to understand most simple ideas I try to get across to them when they aren't simply pretending to hear me in the first place.
My conversation skills are obviously garbage as a result of this. No friends, no siblings, no partner to communicate with. The only person I can talk to, is myself.

>>26469
Honestly I don't think I envy normals. Their lifes are so full of stress, chaos, responsibilities, just looking at them make me feel sick. And I'm not a happy individual but being in their skin would kill me in a matter of days.
Maybe, if I had to say something, it would be their confidence, self esteem, courage. They can be literal idiots and still think they are the best ever and their ideas brilliant, they can try and accomplish anything just because they didn't even think about it in the first place, always acting out of mere impulse. At the same time that make them prone to fuck their lifes over the most stupid things and also extremely annoying to have around.

>>26470
But think about it, I suspect most normals don't have that either. People usually don't want to hear what other people says, no one really cares. That's why psychologists can make business.

>>26469
Not occasionally going on auto-pilot in conversations and saying stuff you know is stupid but being unable to stop yourself. In short, being autism free.
Having people that care how your life is going.
Not knowing for a fact that most people laugh at you behind your back.

>>26470
I can understand this. I probably don't have it as bad as you do but my family is also dysfunctional, my brother in particular is the most obnoxious asshole on the planet. I shouldn't wake up every other day wishing he were dead, and that I were the one who killed him, but I do.
In that case, I suppose I covet having a brother who isn't a less than worthless piece of garbage.

Terseness. Instant messaging bothers me because it seems everyone knows how to replying saying the least possible, while I have to get out at least a couple sentences just to say the same thing.

I also wish I actually had the ability to cry when I need to. My grandparents died of COVID around this time last year, but I couldn't muster any tears at all. It made me feel really hollow, as if I never loved them. It's not like I don't feel sad or anything -- I'm not a sociopath -- I just can't cry at all, which causes a very subtle sort of emotional guilt and pent-up feeling without any catharsis or release.

>>26472
>going on auto-pilot in conversations
I wish I didn't do this as well. I also take fairly long pauses after being asked something or if I get hung up about not knowing the correct word to use or how to properly express something which I'm self conscious about.

>>26469
Just being able to speak properly. Anything longer than one or two sentences and I start fumbling words. It feels like my ability to "think ahead" is only about a sentence or so and once I exhaust that buffer things become disjointed.

>>26471
>their confidence, self esteem, courage
I think that's summed up with their "ignorance". That very inability for self-reflection and thinking about things is what allows them to blissfully go on about their day unaware.

I wish I could experience caring about / taking an interest in other people for its own sake. And not being so easily scared or upset by people. It would make life so much easier.

But I just don't care about people in a personal way. I never have. I think this is what separates me from the normals, who like and care about each other just fine.