I remade this thread after procrastinating for over a year or two. I don't even remember how long it's been since the last one got put on auto sage.

Today my mother told me that she has a tumor.

>>20398
That's terrible, man. Is it operable at least?

>>20398
Well, she's going to the doctor to find out if it is. She didn't really tell me too much about it and I didn't really ask too much about it since I was kind of shocked with how she just somewhat casually told me the news. It also doesn't help that I don't know too much about this and don't know what to say or ask about. This was just unexpected.

I'm not sure what to do. I know that I can't really do much, but I just want to do something to help.

I'm going for a walk now. I feel like I'm going insane if I don't go out. I just need to achieve something even if it's short walk.

>>20402
I feel the same. I have this constant feeling that I need to get the fuck out of my house and of my computer lest I wish to go insane. I can't take my life living with my brother at home, so I think I'll go run somewhere or something tommorow to let this pent up stress away.

Walking seems like a really awkward thing to do for me. There's just nowhere around here to go to.
Sometimes I'd really enjoy a nice stroll to the convenience store if I had $2-8, even if it was 2AM.
But nowadays I'm always broke.

I have the fear that I am becoming retarded. I can still function, but I just feel that I'm not as sharp as I used to be. I don't even drink all that much or do too many drugs. I also read a lot and try to write intellectual stuff.

I just feel that it is all a waste. We all try to work towards something, only to discover in the end that there was nothing to work for. Of course, most people never escape the delusion, which is ironic because I'm clinically psychotic and yet I can see life for what it actually is.

All I did...the writing, the reading, the working, the obtainment of an advanced degree, for nothing. Not even a livelihood. Oh well, I can still enjoy the small things in life, as well the interesting things that happen through sober sleep states.

>>20411
Being psychotic usually means you're not thinking straight.

Actually he sounds reasonable to me, l have been diagnosed with other mental disorders and used a lot of prescription drugs as well so l can relate to some extent.

One thing that l have noticed is that not even the doctors can effectively treat most mental conditions, in the end they just switch from one drug to another like if patients were guinea pigs if something doesn't go as planned.

It's yet to be found how the brain works in plenty of areas, one of the main reasons why mental health is such a huge problem.

Just because someone is psychotic, doesn't mean that they can't have any valid thoughts. People often use such conditions as labels that define people absolutely, but not everyone is absolute in constitution. Labels are really nothing more than an abstraction, and usually ones that aren't very accurate.

>>20414
No, of course not. But you do know what it generally means to be psychotic? The irony might not be so thick. Ask him if he still thinks this way when he's out of the psychosis, if he remembers.

I'm getting more racist and sexist by the day. I know it's socially unacceptable and stupid, but I can't reverse it. I just want to stay inside and play video games all day.

>>20421
You're not the only one. This is an imageboard after all. And socially unacceptable is the main dish here.

>>20421
The internet usually lets you see people for what they are since they usually don't feel the need to wear their 'masks', so you can actually get a feel for what people truly are and understand just how awful most people are.

Well I start working tomorrow after a year's worth of doing nothing. I'm starting to notice that I visit this website less often, and that when I do, I feel more distant to the majority of you posters than I used to before. Whenever I visit /mai/, I just feel like I can't post there anymore, the ideas there just seem so foreign to me. I've been lurking and posting on and off there for a very long time, I think since 2011 I believe? And now I've self excluded myself since I don't want to rile anyone up. My relationship with my waifu has strained and I know that it's because of my living conditions and what's expected of me from my family. I know at this point in my life, I can't become "normal", a term I dreaded since I graduated high school, but I feel like the side of me which feigns being normal is taking over the more mentally conscious side of me, and that it is the only way to ensure I survive. I've taken steps to try and keep this part of me that I've held dearly while trying to become a healthy independent individual, but I think these two sides of me just can't coexist. I've often fantasized about being a financially stable (maybe even rich) person who is socially acceptable and has the same hobbies and goals I have now-- but that just seems impossible at this point. I'm just not sure what to do anymore, I just wanted to post my thoughts and let whatever is waiting for me in the future to let loose. I guess this is the standard procedure for "growing up". And I don't like it at all.

Stay inside.

Today is the day. I finally feel inspiration to-

No, stay inside. You know how it is to be out there with everyone staring at you like you're a creep. Your trashy clothes don't help.

Stay inside. Do not fall for the trap of thinking there is something out there for you. Life is better when you block out the real world.

Stay inside.
Stay inside.
Stay inside.

>>20429
the idea of society being full of braindead "normals" who are the opposite of Tohno-channers was incoherent to begin with. sounds like the cognitive dissonance has finally caught up with you.

>>20429
This is me, a couple of years ago. To comment on your concerns: you can most certainly have a foot in each world. In fact, if you go out of your way to conform to everything you believe to be "normal" activities and views, you might just break down. Yes, some parts of me did fade away, but in this new situation it was changes for the better. It came very natural to me. Am I now a normal person? I don't know, but I'm certainly a better person.

>>20432
You're putting words into his mouth, don't be so hostile.

>>20430
what's your story

I would just like to share a funny realisation, if only to get it out of my mind.

I have been depressed for over a decade. Due to spending most of my free time on imageboards during that period with very little IRL socialising, rather than viewing myself as mentally ill I thought I was actually pretty ordinary since everyone on the chans is depressed too. The misery feedback loop went full circle. I mean, it's obvious but I just realised how much I've underestimated the effect. I spent most of my crucial brain-development time wallowing in misery and seeking out others who do the same. So depression isn't an anomaly for me, it's the default state. To me, being happy would be a disorder. If I woke up happy I would think: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? And I actually thought this was totally normal. I assumed most ford drivers felt the same but just hid it better. I only recently discovered I am the weird one.

I also would like to make a list of some activities I've started during my life, which were sabotaged by depression and laziness. Hope I'm not being annoying.

>Programming/web development
I got into programming around 2003, I was in my early teens and after school I'd go home to learn HTML, Javascript, played around with C and Python. By around 2006 I had stopped and forgotten everything. Today in 2015 I am completely computer-illiterate. I have never used Linux. I spent most of my waking time in front of a computer yet I'm fucking clueless with how they work. If I had stuck with my earlier pursuits I could have had a great hobby for life and maybe even a great career.

>Music
We had a very old electric keyboard around the house. I was around 12 years old when I first started trying to learn it seriously. My family was poor as dirt so I didn't take lessons or anything, what I'd do is find MIDI versions of my favourite anime and game tracks, then open them in a program I had at the time (forget the name) which opened MIDIs and showed the sheet music for them. At the bottom of the screen it had a keyboard and showed which keys were being pressed. I sat in front of the screen with my keyboard, very uncomfortable posture, and followed each song note-for-note, painstakingly rewinding and going over it again, for HOURS on end. I was terrible, naturally, but the feeling of satisfaction when I could play something even halfway through was amazing. Eventually after a few years I got okay, not "good" but I could play passably if there was a piano around. In high school I practised on the music department's piano during lunch breaks which had the added benefit of giving me something to do over lunch besides sitting in the toilets alone. A teacher heard me and gave me some lessons during this time, which was useful.

I quit around 18, not sure if this was depression or just apathy. Nowadays my data entry wageslavery has given me so much RSI and borderline carpal tunnel I probably couldn't play without pain.

>University
This one is obvious for us. I tried it out at 18. My depression spiralled downwards to the lowest fucking point ... imaginable? I'd say imaginable but before those days I couldn't have imagined how low it can get. Dropped out, spent around 6 months as a shut-in alcoholic at home, began to develop some psychotic symptoms. Eventually forced into a job.

>Japanese
Began in seriousness around 17. Got around halfway through Heisig's Remembering the Kanji, got a decent understanding of grammar etc, could understand most spoken language, then once again just quit. This one fucking stings.

There's loads more but I forget right now.

Now here I am, approaching mid 20s, minimum wage slave, absolutely no viable skills, no real hobbies anymore besides mindless consumption, nothing getting me through the days besides inertia. It just amuses me, looking back. I was so inquisitive, thirsty for knowledge, always into something. And then it stopped, time and time again. And now my brain is nearly at the end of its development, and I'm dumb as fuck. Not sure if it's the alcohol's fault but I am seriously fucking stupid now, I forget things easily and lost my train of thought halfway through speaking. If I'd only kept going with ONE thing, I could've had something really worth living for right now. Instead I have no interest, no motivation for anything, I feel like a dried out leaf on a tree. Everything is grey, bland, monochrome.

>>20437

After writing this I realised something further. My interest in playing music declined around the time youtube was gaining its full popularity. I wonder if seeing all the highly accomplished prodigies on there contributed towards my quitting. Nevermind classical even some of the guys just playing video game music were incredible musicians. I always suffered chronically from comparing myself to others. I wonder to what extent I would've just kept pushing on alone if I hadn't been able to see how much further some other people were and thought "what's the point?"

But it's the same old story, of course we all think "if only I could go back knowing what I know now". You learn too late.

>>20437
Yeah, I realise now that imageboards are incredibly toxic. They affected my mental development more than I was ever aware of at the time. It's too late for me now. My life is FUBAR thanks to general neglect and avoidance of real life. My brain is void thanks to mindless imageboard browsing. As for the depression, well, I think imageboard addiction is both a cause and a symptom of it. For some time I thought I was just anhedonic by nature, but that's not the case at all because I remember being happy as a kid, I know what happiness is. I hope I can experience happiness again before I die.

>>20439
you know what to do

>>20440
Quit imageboards? I'm trying, but they are my only social interaction and I'm pretty dependent on them.

Imageboards aren't necessarily that bad, there's a reason why normals have infiltrated most of the chans without ever becoming one of us. They just have tons of other things they do so this would never become an addiction for them.

Personally I don't think I'm even addicted anymore. I started to hate what chans had become so much I gradually moved away from all the boards with such high posting rates that could be considered "addictive".

To be honest even if I have spent all my life in front of the screen, these days normals just might have a worse Internet addiction than me. After all their beloved social media seems to be a really big deal for them and I see my siblings browsing their smart phones all the time. I dislike the current Internet so much I would actually like to see it fall down. I bet they'd have harder times getting used to staying without it.

>>20442
I remember how I used to be so hooked up with browsing 4chan to the point where I couldn't stop even when I realized was absoutly loathing it. I remember just sitting in my chair, feeling competly dead inside just browsing the same stuff over and over, desperate for something good. I wanted off of it but I couldn't. It was a legit problem

I still remember how I overcame it and went cold turkey, it's so Ironic and funny it amuses me to this day.

Going outside? Fuck no, that didn't do shit
Blocking the website? Haha that's a nice joke
Browsing another website instead? Yeah good luck on that
But staying home all day and not moving a inch because I just became hooked up on this new video game I got? Fuck yeah, all of the sudden, when I was done with the game, there was literally no urge to go to 4chan again, not even to post about the game itself. Easily one of the more memorable moments in my life.

I want help badly but I have no idea where to get it. I get panic attack when I have to talk to people so therapy isn't an option and I probably wouldn't be able to afford it anyway. My money is running out and I can still manage but I'm afraid what will happen once I'm completely poor. I have no hope for future and when I imagine myself in 10 years from now on I honestly can't see I'm even alive. It really pains me when I think that I'm turning 30 soon and my life is basically over because I didn't achieve anything. I can't even enjoy anime or other things I used to enjoy, I want to start using drugs but I have no idea where I start with that. I can see why Belgium now has euthanasia option for depressed people because some people simply have no hope and are better off dead, since the point of the life is to take responsibility of your own life and I'm not able to do that.

Don't think like that. I'm 31 and while I do miss being younger, I like my life now compared to how things used to be. Things can still be enjoyable when you are older. And this isn't the super-optimist bullshit talking here; my life doesn't have a lot going for it, either.

>>20454
>Things can still be enjoyable when you are older.
But if nothing is enjoyable now, do you think anything ever become enjoyable later? Even alcohol doesn't give me same enjoyment it used to give.

>>20458
Im in the same boat, i think its just depression that causes that.

I hope it is or im done for.

>>20459
>I hope it is or im done for.
Same. I can't believe that any healthy human would feel this uninterested in absolutely everything. What a sick joke my existence is.

Social workers called me this spring and I reluctantly accepted to meet them. I met two persons in job center and then a nurse once.

My NEET life was going pretty decently here in Europe but now I'm feeling stressed all the time. I thought I had forgotten what it feels to be depressed but I'm falling back into it. I already have a next meeting appointed, this time with all three of them, but I really don't want to go there. Probably better to be at least the smallest bit responsible and send them mail beforehand so they wouldn't wait for me for no reason. Easier for me too so they wouldn't call me again even though I wouldn't answer then. I'm so sad.

>>20459
yes it is a symptom of depression. but another reason you don't enjoy anime is because anime is almost all terrible. everyone grows out of it.

>>20463
We were talking about enjoying alcohol.
And im not a weaboo so i wouldnt know.

Post edited on 16th Aug 2015, 3:02pm

It seems that my life has entered a complete standstill recently. I'm no longer taking classes since, career-wise, I have no fucking clue what I want to do and I fucking suck at completing my GED. I just work a part time job and honestly I don't even know why I'm working other than to "save money". Anyone else feel this way? I know for sure that this money I'm earning will be used to supplement my future independent life when I will undoubtedly be kicked out by my parents, or when they die, but I don't think I can keep living like this. I'm not even sad, or at least I don't think I am. Depressed? Probably not. I just feel fatigued and lost, as if I were crippled crawling through dense fog. Working just feels like something I can't do mentally or physically. Every single work day feels like it's forever and I'm heavily fatigued by the end of it. I am aware that I'm not supposed to think of work as a chore, but I'm nervous and anxious about it everyday. I'm confused as to what exactly I should do.


On a completely unrelated note, does anyone feel better about typing their problems, and not actually posting it? I have a hard time actually posting stuff and spend most of my time here typing up long shit just to end up deleting it because I don't really take advice well and I feel very cynical about these things overall. It's a miracle I actually posted this.

>>20466
Yeah, I erase about 90% of messages I have written. If nothing else, you still try to understand your mind while writing even if you don't actually send it.

>>20467
I probably should do that.
I tend to write long posts and then i change my ideas or add new ones in the middle of it while trying to restructure it and in the end i make up a worse mess resulting in most of my post come off as non-coherent spaghetti.
And i tend to have somewhat shitty grammar at times and not finding proper terms.
Still i go ahead, but hey were in imageboards after all so who cares.

After the whole my-mom-has-a-tumor thing, I've noticed just how far I've gotten from life and things that have to do with living. I know that this could end very easily, especially if my mother dies, but I really enjoy being in this state of not having to deal with anything in life.

The tumor thing could be a serious problem, however, and I should probably see how things are going with that. But aside from that, I can ignore most of life easy enough... as long as I keep working out to keep horrible people away from ruining my delusional good time.

It'd probably be better if I just died.

I love my hikki life, but I wish I had more online friends. I'm beginning to grow distant with my one friend. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do. I just never really look for them, and my interests feel narrow. I'm just shy I guess.

>>20476
Well my anime consumption has been lacking recently and all I ever really talk about is the architecture of Windows NT (don't worry you just need to sit there and nod your head while I ramble) but if you're sure

Uh, do you use XMPP? I have skype but I never used it before. I mean naturally a basement dwelling neckbeard would use something as foreign as XMPP. Maybe we can just exchange emails for now.

>>20452
you really don't want therapy

>>20477
Are you straight from /g/ or something?

>>20479
I'm a kernel developer, I have transcended /g/

>>20480
A god among men

Post edited on 19th Aug 2015, 3:36am

>>20480
That was a joke by the way, I just wasn't sure if it sounded like one.
But really /g/ is nothing but children arguing over grafix kardz

>>20486
Since this is confession day I'll come forth and admit that I was partially joking as well. We make jokes in here!

I feel like my life is a VN, and I've already picked the bad ending even though the final part of the route is only getting started. Nothing actually looks bad yet, there's still that undercurrent of hope the ending will turn out well, but I know I already made my choice.

I pressed the button. Before reading the guide.

>>20501
Did you get an h-scene yet?

Nevertheless, there's something really deep in comparing life to some game where you boringly sit through meaningless choices and shallow dialogues in the vain hopes of getting satisaction through sex.

I took an emotional intelligence test and scored retarded on it. Part of my ideal in life was to be able to keep working like mad, drawing, writing or whatever like a machine and yet now I miss a lot of aimless silly time I just spent with old friends now gone even if I really couldn't carry a good conversation.

At the same time emotional intelligence probably leads to that normalness that many of us despise, not being free to do or think as you please and caving into pressures and norms. I guess another alternative is to have both in a sense and become a manipulative psychopath...

>>2046
I feel you. Though we all from different situations, work is a crazy thing. It feels like getting waterboarded and that's the most accurate description I can give. No idea how the rest of the world can pulls that shit off, going 8-5 everyday and most of all, accepting it as normal. I've been evading/looking for a job for years. Been playing it in a way I won't get kicked out of the house, but won't fall back down into a depression and drinking habits either. Somehow it looks like the end's in sight. Accidentally blessed myself with another half a week by getting in an accident, but after that I'm outta luck.

Anyway, back to your struggle, and I've been saying this to multiple people enduring a similar feeling, loathing your job or your place in everyday life as a whole must have a reason. If you can trace it back to the roots, maybe there's a chance of turning it around and getting yourself in a more favorable position. Like what do you concretely hate about it ? And is there a way to alter that by finding an alternative you can push through the world's thick skull ? Putting it differently, if there's people making a living sending glitter envelopes to a victim selected by some guy with 10$ in his hands, or pop stars can get away with singing hollow music on top of a hollow production and fork in millions, there should be ways for us to survive too. Why can't we play the system like 'half the world' does nowadays ?


>>20514
>I miss a lot of aimless silly time I just spent with old friends

There's your emotion. You're not retarded, fuck that test.

>>20524
The test more measured things like empathy and saying or doing the right things in work and social situations rather than if you were actually capable of feeling emotion.

>>20527
That's just the fancy paper they wrapping their test in, sure. Let me ask you this, how legit or genuine does the average person at work or a social situation feel to you ? From my perspective, they move like the strongest personality present or not present wants them to. When a person is just 'weird' overall, it shows they might haven't figured everything out yet, but at least they didn't go with a premade template just to act like they did. That's a way of measuring emotion or, now that I'm on it, even humanity. Society 2k15 will never admit it like that, but out here it probably seems more reasonable.

>>20531
My old psychologist went to the length of saying that as well but that it's still something that people need to do. Still maybe a lot of things in life would be easier if I just turned my brain off like a normie in those situations.

Lately, I've been feeling the need to do as many things as possible as quickly as possible or to just multitask as much as I possibly can while paying attention to everything that I'm doing.

Sometimes it feels like I just can't pay attention to somethings and I just lose interest and have to stop or miss out on it. I have to set something else up to entertain me, though. I can't stop and I don't want to stop. I feel like I'm missing some things, but when I think about it, I can't really miss too much so I just let myself get indulged into this and time just flies by.

I'm not sure how to feel about this, but I just feel like I don't want to stop and that I shouldn't stop. Maybe I'm trying to get myself to avoid thinking about something.

I feel like I'm going to die very soon, and that nothing can stop it. Whether it be by my own hands or whatever else, it feels close.

I feel so lonely, I can't get close to people online like I could a decade ago.

I don't feel overly sad or happy about it, or anything though I guess what I really mean is I'd like to be young once more, even when I was a teenager I could delude myself with escapism. Now I'm approaching 24 and have been effectively dead for the past 8 years emotionally.

I'm in lust with a couple people I know online.
I'm not actually in love with my waifu.

I feel like this is just some weird awful situation I don't deserve to be in.

Often, I wish I had a waifu to love like I used to years ago. I miss being able to truly believe and trust in something, not to mention the obvious rather abstract but still very much present companionship.

Unfortunately, I know that is only a pipe dream, I'm much too bitter, cynical and old for that now. I could never love and trust in an ideal that 2d love represents again.

My hair has been thinning and falling out a lot for a some time now.
lately I'm finding small rashes around my body randomly popping up.
my back feels really screwed up, like it's held together with duct tape.
I think I may have an issue with erectile dysfunction, but I rarely masturbate anymore so it's hard to tell. Not that it matters much since I'll probably die a virgin anyway.
The inside of my nose always feels dry and irritated, I can't stop messing with it.
My eyesight is starting to fail me, much more so in my left eye for things in the distance. sometimes it hurts my head/eyes to focus on anything more than 20 feet away.
Lately my arms and legs would randomly go numb, not sure if it's diabetes or something else but it can't be good.
I eat almost nothing but fast food and microwavable dinners. I feel like they're slowly killing me.
Oh and I can't help but be an asshole to everyone I know, which is why I have no real friends and no one likes me. sometimes I think people at work give me dirty looks. I was lucky to get a job even a cardboard cut out could do in my place, but they say it's not going to last much longer. only got the job by lying about graduating high school and about spending the last few years as a NEET.
I think the only thing that keeps me going is tc. There's no silver lining in my life, nothing to look forward to, nothing ever chances and I can't enjoy anything anymore.

>>20717
> I can't help but be an asshole to everyone
how?

>>20718
Generally disinterest in what most people talk about. For instance I just got off work and my coworker kept me there for like ten minutes yacking away about random shit like she always does. I try not to say anything more than I need to to her to avoid setting off another one of her stories but sometimes she'll do it anyway. The whole time I was standing there listening to her thinking to myself "oh god just shut the fuck up already I don't care I just wanna go home." I try not to be a dick and say anything like that of course but I bet it probably shows. While at home I'm impulsively snippy with my mom when she calls me away from the pc to tell me something inane. I know she has good intentions with me and I want to be nicer to her but she's just so hard to talk with sometimes. That's largely due to her hearing problems. She mishears or doesn't hear 80% of what I say but gets upset with me if I raise my voice.
When I talk to people online I find it hard to take interest in the things they want to talk about, even when it's tc minded people. Feels like people only ever talk about the same stupid shit on repeat (which I'm sure I'm guilty of too). Conversations with people become really predictable and boring. Even with some people who I like talking to eventually they run out of things to say and just start repeating themselves with different wording. They'll then start telling the same stories again and again in different ways. Eventually they'll share their opinion with me again dozens of times over in randomized formats.

I don't go out of my way to be an ass to people, I think it just naturally comes out that way.
I used to go out of my way to be nice to people, used to be a real door mat too. I found this only served to get me taken advantage of and walked all over. It never got me anything decent so why should I bother. Now I just wanna be left alone to sit in my room all day while I wait to die.

I don't want to die but I want the pain to go away inside. This sucks, I don't even feel like I deserve to be sad in the slightest.

I suck at Starcraft. Not the absolute worst but still pretty bad. Life overall might still be fine, at least if viewed from the outside. Feels stuck in a rut, wanted to say I can pick up a new hobby and escape, I get completely lost in something out of curiosity and don't really make practical judgments as well. Have had much lower points in life I guess but I hope I don't get caught in a slump now that I'm in my 20s.

>>20743
I was about to ask you to play sc together but then chickened out. I'm neither good nor bad and don't really care about the other player's level.

For some reason I don't quite understand, these past few days I've been thinking and dreaming nice things about a certain 2d girl a lot. Now I'm definitely not going to say I found my waifu or that I love her or anything, however it's stopping me from thinking about depressing things and making me a bit happier, which is quite nice. I don't think it's going to last very long though.

>>20746
who is it

>>20747
Inazuma from Kancolle.
It's strange really, I have neither played the game nor watched the anime, but after seeing a few cute pictures of her and consequently reading up on her, I just can't get her out of my mind, she's just too adorable.
I guess I'll watch the anime soon to learn more about her.

>>20748
Have fun! I hope you find out things you like.

So, I saw a post on my University's website about how today is National Depression screening day, and it included a brief quiz to determine if you're depressed.

...I scored 9. (0-8 being not depressed, 9-16 being probably depressed, and 17+ being fucked up.)

...Should I talk to somebody? I've been feeling depressed for quite a while now.

I hate it when people are quick to judge based off the most stupid assumptions, memes and social trends nowadays especially make this bad. For fucks sake just because I like playing as a female in a video game doesn't mean I have an "obsession" for her or that she's my waifu.

Fucking hell I hear people say "waifu" all the time nowadays, you can't even have anything serious to do with a fictional character that's a female without having people joke on you or judge you about it. It just gets very fucking tiring on me when you want to have a serious discussion but can't because the person just HAS to assume that person is your waifu when you bring anything related about her in a semi serious tone.

Man, look at me, getting mad over the stupidest shit, but I'm glad to have gotten that off my chest. Fuck memes, my own brother can't talk in a comprehensive way sometimes because of them, and the majority of my friends sound like complete fucking morons most of the time thanks to them too.

Why do people sniff at me? Everyone, from gross middle-aged service industry hags to younger males and females feel it necessary to announce their recognition of my presence with a forced, audible inhalation.

I have absolutely no distinctive physical characteristics. I'm not physically unattractive, short or overweight. My clothing is well fitting and unobtrusive. I'm white, have a 140+ IQ and likely in the top 5% for wealth by age group. What am I doing to cause this behavior?

>>20752
People actually read university website news bulletins?

Here's a hint - depression is an invention of big pharma. How convenient that every existing human being perpetally exhibits its symptoms.

>>20766
Maybe you smell nice?

>>20766
I have the opposite problem, people keep breathing on me.

>>20766
they smell the evil of an angry white male

Post edited on 11th Oct 2015, 6:46pm

>>20766
Maybe you smell bad?
A lot of times people don't notice if they smell unless it's pointed out to them.

People can perceive smells differently based on genetics. You may cover yourself in deodorant and not notice it but to the person next to you you smell like armpit sweat.

>>20778
Sometimes I wish I could smell like pumpkin spice 24/7.

>>20776
>>20778
>>20768
The sniffs occur well outside of smellability range. It isn't a hygiene issue, nor is that how people would respond to one.

I assumed it was an emotional insecurity thing where sniffing acts as a signal of vague disapproval or contempt. The goal being to foster a sense of inadequacy in the person you're sniffing at. It's just such a childish, pointlessly insulting tactic that should never be applied by or directed at anyone over the age of 13. It's far too ineffectual and crass to be this prevalent; even in my extreme cynicism I don't understand it.

>>20783
Are you sure they're sniffing? Maybe they're just choking on something.

>>20783
Maybe your stank is long range.

I decided I'd pick up basketball again after years of not even holding one. There's a ton of inactive churches with hoops in my area so I can
happily practice in peace and solitude for the time being. Just kinda wish I had some person to shoot the shit with about non-forddriver stuff.

>>20786
Like in Space Jam?

>>20781
Then you would get swarmed with white girls.

>>20786
You could use those moments to practice making cool quotes while listing to songs like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7hiF7fXhLg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uints81YYMc

You can have an excuse to say: "Omae wa mou dunkedeiru/slamdeiru!"

I think I talk too much.

So Google decided to shut down the account that I was using to play mobile games. I have no idea why and was given the reason that there was "unusual and suspicious" activity going on with it or something. I don't even use it to talk to anybody. I don't have any friends. Nobody should even know that I have that account.

I'm not sure if this was a mistake or if somebody is trying to mess with me. I don't know any people and I don't leave any information lying around because I try to be as careful as possible with any and all of my online information.

I just don't get it.

>>20802
That happened to me before with one of those special google apps for work accounts (not actually for work I just wanted a special e-mail address). I had it back within a week or so, no idea why they do it.

>>20804
Nope, if I buy anything, especially on mobile, I'm adamant on that decision and know that it'll be worth my while as I study on reason as to why I should want and need something that requires actual money. I don't regret getting any of the cute and/or sexy female cards in PAD and I don't regret buying any of the female KoF characters in Metal Slug Defense, even if two of them have been nerfed pretty badly (Yuri will always be my speedy glass cannon that fires Raio Kens at any unit heading towards my base <3)

>>20806
That is pretty strange. I've already tried to recover my account multiple times and even placed an awkward call once to support (I got so nervous that I actually forgot how to spell my account despite it being easy). They pretty much said that it'd take a while to fix and sent me an email to an account that I had made minutes before calling in hopes of restoring that old one.

A week is kind of long, but I hope that I get it back, even if it does take a week. I say this while only having 3 dollars on the account.

>>20802
Google has absolutely zero standards for it's staff, they can do whatever they want. There's quite a few stories of employees literally fucking with people and sending rude emails to their friends. Google is an extremely unprofessional company (Though if you use YouTube you don't need me to tell you that). This is why I ditched gmail a while ago.

I think people always think I'm trying to insult them or make fun of them because of my odd behavior or my manner of speaking. I think it happened with someone I knew through the internet and I feel very bad about it.

>>20836
I don't doubt it. I don't have faith in Google to do anything right, but I didn't expect them to have a ton of shitty employees to do whatever they wanted.

Either way, the account was only for mobile games since I needed one to use the app store if I'm not mistaken.

Anyway, it doesn't seem like I'm going to get it back. It just sucks that I'm losing out on 3 bucks.

I hate coughing.

>>20437
>The misery feedback loop went full circle.
I see a new TC slogan!

Anyone else automatically go to TC whenever they feel even slightly depressed? This is the first time I actually posted when doing so, just because I've noticed the pattern become more and more obvious. Every time I see or hear anything that makes me feel sad I just automatically go to TC and /so/. Very strange. Then I would look around or post and just leave feeling pretty good.

>>20853
Actually I do the opposite, I come here when I'm feeling fine but just bored.

I'm so close to offing myself. I'm so tired.

Everytime I try to improve myself physically I end up being both physically and mentally tired. I swear those who call for "jus getting fit" don't realize how bad this is for a neet who barely gets any joy from anything.

Also I should stop browsing imageboards, I can't get myself to do anything else when I get hooked on these... Moderately used these are funny and useful but man are these depressing when you have nothing else in your day, not even bothering to eat anything despite living alone.

I'm so fucking bored It's painful