I have nothing diagnosed, but it's actually pretty likely I'll wind up with feet disability at some point in my life. I was born with fucked up feet and I feel like they've started to really detoeriate in the last 2 years.

Mainly strong scoliosis and related problems.

>>22194
That's so vague. What about your feet is fucked up, and how are they deteriorating?

>>22193

im a total fucking loser

>>23909
that makes us two

I was diagnosed with Autism but I don't think Autism is real.

>>23911
I am pretty sure I was diagnosed with the ass burgers as a child, around the 3rd grade or so. The reason I say "probably", is because I actually do not remember anything past going to a doctor, most likely a psychologist or whatever, and hearing something about burgers. Yep. At that time I didn't know what I was there for but for years I remembered the thing about the burgers. Once I learned ass burgers was a real thing I probably made the connection somewhere down the line. I have the feeling this was brought up in a more definite way at some point but don't remember, not that it mattered much. Only other thing I remember about any of the people I saw related to this is that one of them was incredibly overweight, the type to pull their pants over their stomach or whatever people do, I thought it looked weird.

Post edited on 26th Nov 2018, 8:32pm

Back in my day we just called people with Assburgers "lazy" and people with autism "dumb".

Yeah I said it, fight me!

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

>>23913
That's kind of douchey. People who have a legitimate disorder are not lazy. People who refuse to work because they don't want to work are lazy. Every job I've had I've been the hardest working person there. I just happen to have Asperger's. Don't assume shit about people you don't know.

>fight me
No thanks. I don't like beating the shit out of assholes.

>>23913
I'm glad you got banned for that.

>>23915
>>23916
I don't think this was meant to be taken personally.

Mental health issues. Most people don't seem to think they're real though.

When I had a broken leg, I was in a wheelchair. Then I was in crutches after that. Everybody was nice to me because they could see what was wrong with me. But people don't seem to understand that mental issues can be even worse than physical ones. I have issues with panic and anxiety, but even my best friend says shit like "just relax" as if it's that fucking easy.

In my early twenties I got diagnosed with an adjustment disorder. I just can't grow up.

Not sure if it counts, but I literally have no imagination, I cannot imagine. It really sucks, I can't have a waifu or daydream or fantasize. I can't dream up any art or anything of any worth. I'm always stuck in reality. If I didn't have stuff like anime, manga, and even pictures like this to escape into I don't know how I could live in this awful, brutal, ugly reality.

I have a lot of other stuff wrong with me besides that, but as far as I know that's the only actual ability that most people have that I lack.

>>22193
I have anger management issues and psychotic outbreaks

wheelchair bound and schizophrenia. but likely misdiagmosed

I had disability NEETbux for having cancer, but that ran out.
Now I'm just trans.

>>23935
Now you're just disabled.

Certain aspects of aspergers (just the poor social skills) and borderline, but not enough for a full diagnosis. Depression. Sleep apnea.

Schizophrenia and panic disorder.

People say bullshit like "just be calm" and "do breathing exercises" or "just see a counselor". Making it sound like it's a simple problem with a simple solution shows a lack of empathy. Also, sometimes people pretend that it's a choice, or that it's made up. If this was a choice, I wouldn't be like this. I'd choose to be mentally well. People treat you like shit when they realize you're not well.

I've tried everything you can possibly think of, it simply doesn't help. The drugs they put you on are terrible. People don't want me to get help, they just want me to do what's accepted by society: get on strong medications that make you feel zombified. People hate mentally ill people to the point that they want us to be so fucked up on meds that we're just catatonic, because normal people see that as being preferable to our regular behavior. Meds for people like me don't fix the problems, they just sedate you and make you feel sluggish and dumb. A lot of pills for severely mentally ill people are only for the benefit of the family and caretakers of them, not for the person who has the issues.

ADHD, AvPD, GAD, and probably a ton of undiagnosed shit too.
>>23962
I know that feel too. I've tried all that shit and it does nothing at best. Breathing exercises just stress me out more. All therapists do is throw your thoughts back at you and hope you have the solutions already. Medication is just a placebo. It's all a massive joke.

>>23964
>All therapists do is throw your thoughts back at you
I know, right? I actually looked into this more, not only by talking to a therapist about what it is that they do, but also researching stuff online. I found that they basically have a formula that they go by. You might think it's juts a random conversation, but they have a set of rules to structure what they will and will not say. There are many different "schools of thought" or strategies, so they vary in their exact details, but they are all about listening and rephrasing what the person said.

I want to have actual conversations with people, but therapy is so one-sided because the therapist will never talk about themselves or give opinions or advice. It's all just them rehashing what you said because they think you want someone to only listen or vent to.

I think I'd rather have a mentor then, instead of a "how does that make you feel" or "so what you're saying is..." kind of therapist. I just wish I knew how to find a mentor.

>>22193
Never been formally diagnosed but probably some combination of high functioning autism and some sort of speech/language disorder.

>>23976
They are called a counselor. You will find them at drug clinics that specialize in both mental health and drug addiction. They usually have a number of mentors and then psychiatrists as their staff. the psychiatrists there usually deal with just drug addicts that need to be ween off drugs, but they also tackle drug addicts with mental illness. The mentors are not like a therapist and actually discuss their real lives. Mine talked about how she met her husband online and talked about her kid and stuff.

Sleep apnea.

I have several mental illnesses, but I believe I would have developed the ability to cope with them had I not been hit by sleep apnea.

impulsive, low iq, weak,

i am not sure how it became like that. but that's how it is. pic related sums up my life

High functioning autism. Got diagnosed not once, but twice. Once when I was about 3 or 4, and again when I was 18 or so. Same place too. Nova Southeastern University in Fort Lauderdale Florida.

my knee is at risk of being dislocated constantly.
i have delayed sleep phase disorder and my sleep schedule is constantly fucked, it's probably the most distressing thing i have and probably the biggest reason I am a hikki, i feel like society is closed off to me
i also have a handful of mental issues but i am sure the users of this site are tired of hearing about that.

I'm not sure what you would call it, but I have a hard time sleeping during nighttime hours. Only when the sun starts to peak through my blinds around 5:30 am or so, then I am out like a light. Is there a medical term for this or am I just a sperg?

>>24416
The anon above you has a type of that. There are a handful of circadian rhythm disorders and I suggest you look into them if it’s a concern to you.

>>24416
Is it possible that its learned behaviour? Some people are just wired to be night owls but its also possible that its a habit. I used to be like that but only allowing myself to be in bed between the hours of 1am to 7am for a couple of weeks fixed me I usually fall asleep around 1am now. I didn't really answer your question, basically it might be something you could fix if you wanted but it might not be either.

>>24419
I think it's a combination of both. I recall there were likely some genetic markers that predispose you to being a night owl, but it's also the case that a lot of people's circadian rythms are offset more than they should be due to things such as blue light exposure after sunset

>>22193
Schizoid Personality Disorder.

>>24692
You too? Nice. Can't say I've met many people with it.

Hypermobile Ellers Danlos Syndrome
Some of the symptoms depend on the person but mine makes me fatigued, have constant headaches, bladder control problems, and dizziness

Im intersex (klinfelters xxy), Over the years i got diagnosed with a handful of mental issues such as MDD and Schizoid but i think it was mostly done to push pills on me. I do have Depersonalization/Derealization, Had it since i was 12 but didnt know what it was until i was 22, It made my life hell and the worst part of it is that no one understands it or believes me when i try to explain it out so i stopped bothering.

I've been asking myself that since I was a kid.
For some time I thought I was just mentally retarded. Then autistic, asparragus and all the common places.
But I don't really know. Sometimes I can't do the most basic things, like assemble Ikea furniture, basic math, driving or differentiate between left and right. So from time to time I still think I must have some mental retardation.
Then there's other stuff like being unable to identify faces or women names.
Still, I think I have learned, with the years, to replicate the average human behavior so I don't stand out too much. But it's just not natural to me. I could go to a psychiatrist for a diagnosis but I'm also paranoid and I think they are mostly bullshit.

>>24698
It's hard to find us anyway, we can fit in very well with others. It also seems like many people who may have the disorder could go their entire life not knowing. I read about it one day and realized I was a perfect fit to every symptom, knew I'd finally found my difference.
Here's a fun thing to do: go read the wikipedia article on schizoid. I find it very unsettling, as if someone who knew everything about me wrote an anonymous biography of my mind.

Post edited on 6th Nov 2019, 4:13pm

>>22193
ADHD, semantic pragmatic language disorder, high-functioning autism and math learning disability. Probably also have tons of other undiagnosed medical conditions, but I prefer dealing with them on my own. Among them is probably OCPD and delusions, but I deal with them successfully so they go away for long periods of time.

selective/progressive mutism and other anxiety disorders from years of childhood abuse. people usually just assume i'm mentally challenged when i don't speak.

>>24724
There's nothing paranoid about distrusting psychiatrists. Plenty of them will pump you full of drugs that will permanently alter your brain and destroy your mind, just so they can get a share of the profits that Big Pharma makes off of you. Just look at the Sackler family and how they started out making their fortune: https://www.theoccidentalobserver.net/2017/05/17/opiates-death-on-the-prescription-plan/
>>24698
I bet this place has more of us than just about any other.
>>24831
>go read the wikipedia article on schizoid. I find it very unsettling, as if someone who knew everything about me wrote an anonymous biography of my mind.
Yeah, I felt the same way when I first read it.

High Functioning Sperg, Social/General Anxiety, Depression. Somewhat paranoid too. Most of these problems wouldn't be here though if life wasn't so toxic growing up.

>>24831
I just read that article a few nights ago, and felt the exact same way. It was a very good description of me.

I've been reading this; https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoid_personality_disorder
Yeah, it's a dumb wikipedia article but for a moment it was uncanny how many things (not all) coincide.
At the same time, I'm skeptical. I think every test I have ever done ends with positive results, doesn't matter the kind. If I make a test about retardation I will be retarded, if I make a test about being gifted, I will be gifted. I seriously suspect tests are an scam meant to sell shit, and most of personality disorders and their diagnoses are an scam too for the same reasons. You're mean to read any of that and think "that's just me", because the symptoms are so vague and common that could fit with anyone the same way a fortuneteller can tell you your future or guess things about your past.
Still, I'm ambivalent about it. Some things seem to close, but I can't trust my judgment and I don't even have a clear judgment to start with.

Hell, I was reading the thread before posting and some anon just did exactly the same >>24831

What do you think about this? I would really appreciate a second opinion.

>>25496
>>24916

Now I'm reading with more attention and everyone did the same. Or this barely populated iamgeboard is a magnet for schizoids or there's something really suspicious about it.

>>25504
I was diagnosed with it ages ago, and they say admins, community leaders, figure heads, ect will tend to attract like minded people to their groups.

>>25505
How did you get diagnosed? Any information you can give me about it will be appreciated, only if you feel like sharing it, of course.

The way that these "soft" mental disorders like Schizoid-ism are described seems so fuzzy to me. It could easily be argued that there is no mental disorder at all, the problem instead lies with the society that this individual finds himself in. Those in charge of this society don't have much understanding for those who are not excessively loud and friendly, so these people are expected to go through the same normalfag institutions like school in the expectation that it will be beneficial to their development, but instead it fucks them up and then they get slapped with a mental disorder diagnosis because nobody knows what else to do with them. Basically society turned them into retards.

I know that's how it worked with me. I tried going to a therapist for my "depression" several times, and surprise surprise, it didn't work. It wasn't until I started reading history and realized that society didn't always marginalize people like us, in past societies there were monks, shamans and prophets and these people were held in high regard. In today's society though, they would be labelled as schizos or avoidants or whatever the fuck. Once I realised that, my "depression" was cured.

>>25506
Around 10-7 years ago I got sick and tired of working and wanted to get on autism bucks, I thought what I'd do is pretend I was one of those autistic retards.
I was a little too honest though and I guess bad at lying, they didn't think I was autistic but did diagnose me as schizoid. Which couldn't qualify me for those autism bux as much as I tried, had to give up on that in the end. They gave me medication for it which I tried once and hated, and proceeded to flush the stuff. I found even after dusting myself off and going back to wage slaving that the symptoms and signs only grew more noticeable. Which correspond with some sources that say it often becomes noticeable in one's 20s and becomes more pronounced from there.
while a lot of what I've seen described in various sources does fit, a lot of the symptoms and descriptions seem typical of most introverts or are vague enough to be relatable to many people. At this point I'm not so sure if it's a mental disorder or just some a personality type.

Here's something you may find interesting.
https://reichandlowentherapy.org/Content/Character/Schizoid/schizoid_dreamer.html

There's also a channel on IRC/rizon called #schizoid. It's pretty dead but there are a couple people who lurk there all the same.

>>25508
When I read stuff like on that web page calling things like "creators" in such a cliche way I just think it's some motivational jerkoff BS that means nothing, which is probably true with how specific the page seems to be. I agree that it's just a personality type, just a clump of traits commonly seen together in some people enough to be noticed and given a name. You could do that with every type of person and get a million other types as well. I can relate to a couple of those on the wiki page too but that's probably because I got the burgers and there seems to be some overlap.

Post edited on 1st May 2020, 11:11pm

>>25507
I agree with what you said, but at the same time there's a romanticization of the so called personaliy disorders; you can see it in movies, always related to "genius" and "special" people or this fad about everyone having aspergers in the last years.
There's also something weird; while I don't believe too much in the categorizations and all smells suspicious to me, I don't think I would mind being labelled as an schizo. Actually, I noticed a curious feel of confidence when I think about it. I was always the weirdo, the freak, the loser, being the "schizo", a supposedly scientific term, it's a whole new and better thing. It also fills so many "unexplained" events in ones life history.
But I'm really ambivalent about the whole idea. In a minute I could be thinking all I've been saying and reading sounds extremely stupid.

>>25508
>Which correspond with some sources that say it often becomes noticeable in one's 20s and becomes more pronounced from there.

This also fits perfectly. I've noticed I'm developing lots of weird traits in the last years, obsession with order and cleaning, impulsive and repetitive moves/gestures.
But as you said, it's all so vague. Taking medication seems like an awful idea, what you're supposed to be cured from?
And what's the difference between a mental disorder and a personality type? I don't like the idea of everything reduced to a different personality but also I don't trust psychologic categorization.

My dumb, sports and women obsessed dad was tired of me not being interested in those stuff or not going out to bars (yes, he is really that shallow), called me mentally ill when he saw me reading a Sandman comic, eventually he talked about me to a therapist he knows and she told him I'm probably schizoid. Of course he is an average working class dummy and now he is convinced I'm schizophrenic. Thankfully my parents are divorced and i haven't talked to him in years.

>>25511
My father forced me to go to a psychologist too. It was a long time ago and after months of going they couldn't even give a diagnosis. When I turned 18 and I could decide by myself I never went again.
I don't know if your case is a bad or a good thing, being diagnosed means you have an actual excuse and your family can't accuse you that easily of being one thing or another by your own will and fault, so maybe they bother you less.

>>25510
>Taking medication seems like an awful idea, what you're supposed to be cured from?
It really was. I mostly just took it so I could play ball while trying to get the autism bux. I found it made me feel like I had a cold while being extremely tired. As for what it's supposed to cure, well a lot of people would consider emotional coldness to be a negative personality trait, among other things associated with schizoid.
From what I've seen, a number of sources say people with this condition usually don't bother to try and get it treated. Likewise I don't really see it as a problem. I'm not a slave to my emotions or libido as most seem to be, which seems liberating when compared to the situations of others.

>>25513
I've been reading the medication treatment has been mostly abandoned and it's advised against today. I find quite incredible how they can figure some random treatment with some random medication to cure who knows what, and when they notice it doesn't do shit they just abandon it like nothing happened. I can't trust a supposedly scientific field that so often works like that.
Still, I will try to see if can find more specific books or information about the thing, I just hope there's something worth it.

A doctor supposed that I'm autistic when I was very young. Another doctor supposed that I have panic disorder when I was older.

I thought I was schizo, then I went to a private doctor who said it was in fact a less known form of migraines which don't cause a headache, but "periods of visual and auditory distortions." Personally I don't buy it. The things I see and hear internally, although I know they are internal, affect and are affected by the world, or some power. Many years ago maybe they would call it psychic, but I don't really buy into that either. I'm convinced I'm autistic but every test I've done has come out as false. Too weird to fit in with normal people (have no desire to), but not autistic enough to fit in with autists.

>>25504
I wouldn't be surprised if this place, and this board in particular, really did attract schizoids.

Despite a lack of diagnosis, the article feels like more than just a coincidence. I have always been completely interested in the fantasies inside my head. My main passion in life is art and expressing that, and very little else is interesting to me at all. I would be completely happy with a solitary hermit lifestyle if it meant I could just be engrossed in my fantasies and artwork. I don't have the desire to put on a persona and feign interest in socialization like I used to in my early highschool days. I am also pathologically lazy, often dissociated from everything but internal monologue, and I do feel like a robot and an observer.

I think it's more than just my introversion at this point. At the same time, I don't know what to do with this knowledge. All I can do is just say "huh, that explains things."

>>25521
I found the most uncanny how they even get the more specifics like "para-psychological interests" or "idyosincratic political beliefs" and "weak ethnic affiliation".
At the same time I have to think it's something meant to convince you you fall into the cathegory, so I don't know what to think.

>At the same time, I don't know what to do with this knowledge. All I can do is just say "huh, that explains things."

I think you can do a lot. It's an enormous improvement to be just an schizo from being retarded, lazy, hideous or a shit person, the kind of labels you could get and sometimes interiorize. With a diagnosis I wouldn't have to take all the shit I got from family or educators. Now it's too late for that but I still get peace of mind. Another thing you can do is to learn about yourself or about people in the same condition. Also humans need to cathegoryze things, if there's something we can't put in some cathegory we are left unrested. Still, the science beyond doesn't convince me yet.

>>24831
>Here's a fun thing to do: go read the wikipedia article on schizoid.
> idiosyncratic moral or political beliefs
Well I fit everything else.
But my lengthy fantasies of how a fascist utopia would be run are a disorder?
Well what did I expect.

Post edited on 6th May 2020, 10:52am

I got diagnosed with Autism last week. I still don't believe autism is actually real though. Much of it seems to act kind of like a negative feedback loop. You could have a normal child and then for some reason whether it's parents were not that good or it just had a bad first social experience with other children it starts to withdraw from others, that means that it struggles socially and can't pick up social ques(it's never really learnt), that means that it finds an interest and fixates on it(it has no friends what else would it do), then because it can only interact with things and not people it starts noting more about things than others would, etc. Most of the symptoms of autism could be attributed to such a negative feedback loop in some way or another.

While most of what describes a schizoid does fit for me, I often find myself wondering if I simply haven't been conditioned and forced into my current life style and state of mind due to a lack of any other option. Maybe if life was a little more normal, I wouldn't have ended up the way I did. I'm not very emotional but that could be because I had a rather strict father with anger problems who would loose it over every little thing. The best way to deal with this was to stay hidden and out of sight, or when around him as stiff as a plank and as quite as a mouse. I'm no expert, but I don't think a person can be conditioned to develop a mental disorder outside of chemical/physical brain damage, ...right?

I don't much enjoy socializing or being around people, and can't stand physical contact, but I'm not sure if this is because I've lived a life of near isolation without friends or partners and emotionally/mentally absent parents who are both living in their own separate worlds that I can't be a part of. Technically I'm not alone as I do have them in my life even if in a limited capacity, but they certainly do make me feel alone. Likewise my attempts in the past at making friends have typically ended with me feeling like I've only wasted my time and money on people who never did or would would care about me. Seemed like any time I started to get close to making friends offline, it would turn out they were just in it to take advantage of me, and online they'd usually be fickle and apathetic, there one day gone the next. Even when we seem to get along great, it turns out they don't give two shits and don't want to stay in contact.
Last August for example I took a trip to Japan with someone from our irc channel who invited along two of their friends as we went to stay at the home of another of his friends. You'd think during something like that there might be more bonding but in spite of my best efforts to get along with these guys and make friends, I spent the whole trip feeling like a third wheel. Which was only reinforced by the fact that I never heard from these guys after the trip. I did keep in contact with the host for a brief time, but that was only because I was trying to send him a thank you package, so of course once he got it I never heard from him again.
Doesn't seem to matter how I look or act, how friendly polite witty or funny I try to be, we can have a million things in common and talk till the cows come home but in the end people wont want anything to do with me.
Not too long ago we invented someone I knew from high school to rent a room from us. He was a rather manipulative user of a friend but part of me felt it might be nice to have someone around with some common ground to occasionally talk to or something. But over the five months he lived here, we spoke a total of twice offline and maybe a dozen times via texts (mostly him and my mom fighting over something), and this was someone who said I was "reasonable" and "easy to talk to". I've heard stuff like that a lot from people who quickly vanished from my life soon after. In the end I don't know why I bother since I find it so stressful to interact with people anyway. I love being alone, and it's then that I feel at peace and relaxed. More so if my internet connection is cut off. It's then that I'm able to truly enjoy myself alone with my hobbies. Nothing good ever comes from dealing with others, which makes me wonder again if it's the mental disorder, or a learned impulse from many negative experiences. How many times do you have to be hurt by people before you subconsciously start to avoid them?
Likewise, If local women weren't so repulsive, I wonder if I would have ever tried to take a partner or would I still have no interest in such things? Maybe I wouldn't be a wizard if I was able to live in a country where women didn't essentially go extinct, replaced by ill-mannered bloated masculinized promiscuous walking train wrecks. I hear they're not so bad outside of the US, but that doesn't mean much from where I'm sitting. It's easy to call women 3DPD when they're as disgusting as the blimps that waddle around here, but what if they weren't ham beasts? Would I even still consider 3DPD in and of itself unappealing for that matter if I never got into anime, or was it them being so disgusting that drove me to 2D? Have I rejected people because the world didn't want me, or does the world not want me because I've rejected people? It's a bit of a chicken or the egg question I guess, although I'm not sure if it even matters. Maybe things could have been different if life dealt me different cards, maybe I'd end up in the same place via a different road, maybe this maybe that, whatever the case I'm here now and there's no turning back. I gave the world a chance just to see if it was me or them, but it wouldn't give me a chance back, so I give up and now I rather just be left alone.
If nothing else it's kind of funny that a world which didn't want me thinks I'm crazy for not wanting it.

>>25526
>I took a trip to Japan with someone from our irc channel who invited along two of their friends as we went to stay at the home of another of his friends... I never heard from these guys after the trip.
This is funny and sad and the same time. When I was younger, many people have told me that I was offputting to others because they could feel a "wall around me". It wasn't something I actively tried to do or thought about. It seems there's just some mysterious x factor that makes some people appealing and others not, and if you lack that x factor, people will never want to be a permanent part of your life unless you figure out how to fake it, which you'd have to be crazy to accomplish, like a psychopath. Maybe it's about perceived worth. You either have to be somebody important or act like somebody important for people to value a relationship with you.

>>25526
I don't know if you're an schizoid or not, but for what I read schizoids almost always fail in relations with other humans, with a few exceptions.
One of those exceptions is finding another schizoid so a weird bond (maybe unhealthy?) will happen between them, sharing their respective personal worlds. Now I just thought about the movie Heavenly Creatures, wasn't something like that? It was a real case and it ended in murder.

So an schizoid will hardly have any meaningful relation with more than one or two persons, if he ever has one at all. I think Henry Darger also had a really close friend, and only one, for all his life.
Trying to have relations with normal people almost always fail. Now the important thing is how we define normal, and it should in the most broadest way; you could have nerds, "outcasts" or people with social anxiety that could fall into the "normal" cathegory, because, even if it seems hard to believe, they are closer to be normal and to the normal mindset than to you. I don't really think people being egoistic or not caring plays that much important part, but could be your expectatives were unrealistic too.

While I haven't tried as half as much as you did I can relate to similar feelings, mostly from long time ago. That's why to find an explanation to all of it it's kinda relieving. Whatever it's a genetic or an environmental disorder it doesn't seem that relevant to me, if it's something real it has to be a little of both, there's a genetical predisposition and environment does the rest. Probably.

>>25525
Explaining it as just a vital "slippery slope" doesn't work for me. Like I said I'm pretty sure there's outcasts in their teens that "bloom" into normal people when they grow older, probably the majority. I think at some point in my life I could have been "normal", the bullying ended, I wasn't ostracized like usual, but it didn't work and it couldn't work because there was some deeper reasons.

Quote from the wikipedia article that also quotes "Body structure and character. Studies on the constitution and theory of temperaments";

>In general, friendship among schizoids is usually limited to one person, often also schizoid, forming what has been called a union of two eccentrics; "within it – the ecstatic cult of personality, outside it – everything is sharply rejected and despised"

Somehow I feel the last part could be the pure definition of some marginal imageboards, not necessarily this one.

>>25528
>Maybe it's about perceived worth. You either have to be somebody important or act like somebody important for people to value a relationship with you.
People have often thought I was rich when they see photos of my room, or when my well off father comes up. Hasn't really changed anything. Makes me think that "X factor" can't be made up for with wealth, or even perceived wealth. Saying that does remind me of a depressed and mentally unstable guy I met online a few years back who was wealthy and very desperate to find a mate, and in his case he would flaunt his wealth and directly tell people he was rich in hopes they'd accept him. Needless to say, the guy was a mess and his financial situation wasn't working on anyone. Assuming that's what you mean by "worth" anyway. If you mean worth as in social status, then yeah that's all that a lot of people seem to care about, regardless of how insane or disturbed the person might be.

>>25529
>but could be your expectations were unrealistic too.
I think they very well could be. Probably from a life of obsessively watching film, tv, anime, ect. It can imprint ideas of what things are supposed to be like, how they should work, and when reality doesn't work the way it does on the screen that can be disappointing to say the least. It's made me also wonder if anything I thought I might have wanted was what I'd actually want, or just more programing from decades of media saying how things should be. Most of the stuff that appeals to normals means little to nothing to me. People seem to enjoy talking to each other for the hell of it, but I just want them to get to the point. I see people like my father spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on cars and planes and it just seems like a waste of money to me. Same for name brand fashion, expensive vacations, parties, concerts ect. If/when I do try anything like that out just to see what the appeal is, at best I find myself getting little or nothing out of it and instead see them more as curious learning experiences that I wouldn't bother with a second time. For example when I owned a sports car for a shot time, I didn't find it particularly fun or exciting, it didn't make me feel superior to anyone or like I achieved something. Which is what I assume normals get out of them. Seemed like more maintenance and trouble than it was worth if anything. Likewise, the first time I went to a con I was completely miserable and hated it, and started to have my first ever panic attack while trying to make my way through a packed crowd at another one. It's funny but one time they were having an edm concert. I liked the music so I hung out there for a while, tried joining the crowd to maybe learn how to cut loose and have fun, doing like they were, but that quickly felt very wrong, like I was forcing myself to try and fit in, as if I was oil trying to mingle with water. It felt like I didn't belong and it was silly to try. If I didn't stand out then, I must have surely stuck out when I proceeded to sit at the back wall chairs alone, and just enjoy the music while playing games on my vita, observing as everyone else danced in the middle of the room and mingled with each other while I might as well have been on another planet. This is after all, what comes naturally to me. I've always kept to myself and watched from afar as others enjoyed each other's company. Even with work, I picked a field that would allow me to be alone and play games watch anime ect. when the jobs I'm assigned to don't allow this, I'd try to find ways to sneak these things in. From bathroom breaks where I pull out a DS, positioning myself so no one can see my Bluetooth headphone playing audio books, or keeping a tiny game pad on me so I can play emulators on my phone. I even got into the habit of half watching programs on my car's display going to and from work.

Instead of what seems to drive most people, I find pleasure in solidarity, practicality, and creativity. Status and power mean little to me, but I can respect someone who's intelligent and proficient in their field.
Honestly, I found myself feeling much more content once I started to accept being schizoid and not fighting it or questioning it but instead rejecting what the TV says I should be striving for. The idea has always been there, but being constantly told that I should want this or that is what really had me questioning things, wondering if maybe I've made mistakes and lived wrong as mentioned before. I've bent over backwards to try and appease people countless times, only to often hurt myself in the process, for people that at the end of the day I don't even really want to be involved with anyway. Really doesn't make much sense does it? It's like I want to make people happy sure, just, happy away from me. Sometimes that might mean giving people gifts and walking away, or leaving/sending them something and being far away when they get it. Even the way I often talk to people, trying to crack jokes and puns and what not, probably just comes from years of sitcoms and being thought that this is how normal friends are supposed to interact. Could even be why I took to online communications, as media always shows people taking turns talking where as in reality people always interrupt each other and try to talk over each other. You may even have something relevant and important to say but the other person will derail the conversion to the point where it'd be weird to mention it anymore.

>>25551
Sorry for the post from the other place but I think pic related really summarizes part of what you explained. As I see it the problem isn't getting into normal conversations with normal people in normal relations. With a certain effort that is possible for some, but once it's done we discover it's enormously disappointing. It's not filling, it's boring, it takes nowhere. So we can't keep doing that, what's the point?
Maybe in some point of our lives we craved for something, but it wasn't this.

>rejecting what the TV says I should be striving for.

I hear it almost every week in one context or another. Humans are social animals, we can't live alone, we need relations, you can't fight your nature, etc. But as I said before once you have a taste of what's supposed to be so necessary you see it does nothing for you.
That's really conflicting for an individual exposed to that, if you can't attain it you will be unhappy (you're told to be), but if you can and you do it you will be unhappy anyway. You need to discard, both consciously and unconsciously an idea as accepted as helliocentrism or you can't find peace.

That's why it's refreshing to see something different from time to time, sure it's better than my badly written posts; https://www.nytimes.com/2006/11/21/health/psychology/21case.html?ex=1321765200&en=6030af72aae03e77&ei=5088partner=rssnyt&emc=rss

>>25552
I'd say the post certainly hits the nail on the head. I've noticed what you said about unhappiness in one's goals time and time again with normals, but they never seem to learn from it and try to change their approach. Instead they go at it (whatever it might be they're after) more and more aggressively with diminishing returns. They're constantly struggling for better jobs, better relationships, more pay, nicer material items ect. It's like watching people try to scoop water out of a sinking boat faster and faster and faster rather than trying to plug the leak.
A few weeks back the building manager at my job who loves the sound of his own voice, was recounting his career and said "If you're not constantly moving up, there's something wrong with you." To me, I don't see the point. The way I see it, I rather be paid less to have a stress free job I can enjoy, than be paid more for one I'd hate. I probably know my way around computers better than half the people in the office building of 400+ I'm a guard at, but I'll be damned if I'll let myself die a slow death in a cubical surrounded by assholes I can't stand.

I feel this way too. I thought if I went to study I'd improve my mental health by being in society, but it just ended up with my goals going from 'crappy job that gives me free time' to 'good job as i realised crappy jobs also have free time so why not get paid £££' which caused more stress as my expectations in life took a giant leap while my talents did not.

I've fallen for the trap! Anything was better than what I previously had, but now I need more... perhaps since a lack of NEET stopped my hobbies as I had to study too much.

How do you know if you're having an anxiety attack?
I always had an stomach ache, trembled and difficult breathing after certain unfortunate encounters with other people, but now it's happening more often and it can lasts for hours or even the whole day at some degree. I always thought it was "normal", but thinking about it, it isn't. Also it's not even the physical effects, I get fucked physcologically and having repetitive thoughts for too much time after.

>>25525
Quite possibly you don't have high functioning autism at all or merely have the similar but non-identical aspergers. As someone with high-functioning autism I can tell you that autism has some very real physical effects as well as the mental. Hyper sensitivity to light, noise, and texture, speech development problems like extreme stuttering at a young age and even minor stuttering as an adult. The worst for me is dyspraxia, an inability to develop fine motor control and coordination that has given me much pain in trying any competitive tasks and athletic activities. The mental aspects of autism are only second to the physical aspects in terms of making ones quality of life substantially lesser. Yes, autism is a developmental disorder, meaning much of the characteristics are traits that a person does not properly develop as a child. However, it is a genetic disorder and prevents development through force, the high-functioning autists are the ones who DID overcome their disability, as opposed to simply being neglected as children. Aspergers is almost certainly just an extreme personality type and nothing more, and grouping it with Autism is not only inaccurate but also has a side effect of reducing the perceived severity of real Autism. It is incredibly uncomfortable for me to see the growing movement of people who are misunderstanding mental disorders being convinced that it is not real or some sort of snake oil salesman trick. For someone actually suffering it and having suffered at the hands of people who believed that martial discipline could cure all problems in a child, I am horrified to think that there will be generations of children who are going to suffer because of the backlash caused by "fashionable mental illness". This phenomenon of people claiming autism, depression, etc because they felt sad once or had trouble talking to girls is highly dangerous for the kids who will be born with a very real disability.

I saw at least two people in real life who were diagnosed with "autism" and did not have it.

>>25562
>the kids who will be born with a very real disability
Don't worry, genetic engineering will sort everything out.

>>25563
That's very optimistic.

>>25562
>Hyper sensitivity to light, noise, and texture,

That's part of the brain fixating on physical things and such as it can't deal with people.

>speech development problems like extreme stuttering at a young age and even minor stuttering as an adult.

Again, that's due to a lack of socialisation from a young age.

>The worst for me is dyspraxia, an inability to develop fine motor control and coordination that has given me much pain in trying any competitive tasks and athletic activities.

This one is harder to explain but there would be a reason for it as well, probably to do with subtle effects in how the brain is wired due to severe isolation.

>>25565
So you don't think a disability which impairs a person's innate ability to interact with others regardless of their circumstances is possible?

>>25566
Well that's vague, being mute would impair your ability to interact with others, other disabilities would to. I just don't think Autism is a genetic disability but something caused through environment.

>>25567
>I just don't think Autism is a genetic disability but something caused through environment.
Why would two children in similar circumstances end up differently then? How do you explain low functioning autistic people? It doesn't seem like everything can be boiled down to enviroment. Studies have also suggested otherwise. While i'm also skeptical of the diagnosis "autism", I don't see why an inability to understand other people's motivations and emotions along with other symptoms(which can appear in babies) couldn't be hereditary.

Post edited on 14th May 2020, 6:45pm

>>25568
The same reason twins can grow up with different personalities and doing different things. No two environments are ever the same even if they are similar and as children grow they grow in different ways and see the word and interact with it in different ways which further alters how the world itself shapes them.

>Studies have also suggested otherwise.

Such studies are also flawed, usually they go along the lines that if group x has y then their children have a higher chance of inheriting y than the wider population. The things is, parents tend to raise children in similar environments to what they themselves were raised in, it's not genetic.

>>25569
Except specific genes have been linked with autism and that still doesn't explain low-functioning people. There's also no such thing as genetically identical twins, even identical ones have differences. Your viewpoint is fringe and baseless. Also, you've really got to stop quoting like that.

Post edited on 14th May 2020, 7:03pm

>>25562
Reading this makes me feel like I'm full of shit and I'm just a normal person who happens to be an idiot/asshole/etc. and it's just looking for excuses. Not the greatest feeling but maybe you're right about everything.

>>25570
That doesn't mean as much as you think, all it means is that at best certain genetics make you more vulnerable to it, you would still have to have been subject to the environment effects to trigger it. Alcoholism has also been linked to certain genes, many things have but this does not mean that if you have a certain gene you are guaranteed to be an alcoholic or Autistic or that if you don't have that gene you then cannot become one of the aforementioned.

>Also, you've really got to stop quoting like that.

Why?

>>25572
>you would still have to have been subject to the environment effects to trigger it
That is just bullshit. A person with low functioning autism would not have been a normal person if their circumstances were different. There is zero evidence to support that.

>Why?
Because nobody does it but you and it's basically the same as a forum signature.

Post edited on 15th May 2020, 6:19am

>>25573
If something is genetic then it's genetic. It can't be caused by genetics just when you feel like it whilst you ignore all the cases of people with the gene not having it and without the gene having it.

>Because nobody does it but you and it's basically the same as a forum signature.

Is this 4chan? Why should I change my posting style just to fit in?

>>25574
Exposure to excess androgens or toxins during pregnancy are also potential causes. Everybody agrees though that there's factors outside of interaction with others, good or bad, that causes the disorder, especially in its extreme forms. If somebody is born with a severe form of autism, they're born with it. There's symptoms during infancy. There's no way you could control the social circumstances of that person to make them grow up into a normal person. There's no experiences that could fix them. Likewise, if a person is not born with the condition, they will never under reasonably normal circumstances, or even relatively bad ones, develop a severe form of the disorder. Social expierences alone cannot have that effect on the brain. Your idea that it's all just bad experiences and it could happen to anyone is complete bullshit.

>Why should I change my posting style just to fit in?
Because this isn't facebook or a forum and the whole point of anonymity is defeated if somebody uses an avatar or feels the need to put some obvious identifying quality in their posts. I don't want to know that i'm arguing with the same person i've argued with multiple times already. I think their diagnosis of you is accurate. I even pointed it out before.

>>25565
>That's part of the brain fixating on physical things and such as it can't deal with people.
Absolutely not. You have no idea what you are talking about. It causes physical pain and has been documented to cause physical, cellular damage.
>Again, that's due to a lack of socialisation from a young age.
Again, incorrect. There have been multiple studies proving that the brain is physically different and that the speech centers are undeveloped at a level which mere differing types of social interaction cannot cause.
>This one is harder to explain but there would be a reason for it as well, probably to do with subtle effects in how the brain is wired due to severe isolation.
You probably already guessed, but this is beyond incorrect and is once again proven to be caused by major nervous system deformities and significantly shrunken motor control centers.

The majority of cases diagnosed with autism like that described are people who went to public school and often even had friends groups. Your theory is pure bullshit and sounds like the kind of bad pseudoscience I'd expect from a place like 4/b/ or any other board on that god forsaken site. Everything you have posted has been wrong, uninformed, and hilariously based only on some belief you have that no doubt assumes nurture is unopposedly dominant to nature. I don't usually go off like this on here but seeing someone talking like a sub-80IQ dudebro trying to figure out muscular biology on his own is just too offensive to my average intelligence.

Suppose the "autism is a loser's maladaptation/excuse" theorists are correct, what solutions are they proposing?

>>25578
I dunno maybe we should ask them what excuse they think down syndrome is for.

>>25577
Well if you become more sensitive to something that's possibly going to happen.


>There have been multiple studies proving that the brain is physically different and that the speech centers are undeveloped at a level which mere differing types of social interaction cannot cause.


And studies have been done showing the same impact on children who lacked social interaction, you seem to not understand how brain development works and how vital it is for children.

https://www.biorxiv.org/content/biorxiv/early/2017/07/21/166538.full.pdf

>proven to be caused by major nervous system deformities and significantly shrunken motor control centers.

Read my above reply, it addresses this same point.

>>25578
There probably is no solution. But more preventative measures could be taken to ensure that children are raised properly to avoid this.

>>25580
Feral children who never interacted with other humans and deaf children who never learned proper sign language, are not the same as children who had early, negative social experiences, which this paper doesn't talk about. There's also nothing in there about hypersensitivity to physcial stimuli. You're cherrypicking and conflating tangentially related things.

>>25582
>are not the same as children who had early, negative social experiences, which this paper doesn't talk about.

Uhh, it actually does though, it mentions a Romanian study done on Orphans, I found the link to the study itself.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25622303

>There's also nothing in there about hypersensitivity to physcial stimuli.

Because they are really going to be able to get that information from a feral child... That's not what the paper was about and it's not an easy thing to find out from a feral child but they do seem to be hypersensitive, whether that is due to something like autism or just being in a completely alien environment is not clear though(you can't exactly just ask them).

>>25583
Being neglected, lacking any close interpersonal relationships and being discouraged from speaking at all, is not the same thing as early negative social experiences with peers.

>Because they are really going to be able to get that information from a feral child
It's called a pain response. Celluar damage can also be observed without talking to them.

>>25584
It's not a radical new theory, it's been known for a while, just google child brain development. All you are really doing is arguing to what degree.

I'm sure they had other things to think about at the time(like doing the study they were actually there to do and not some random side quest for the benefit of some guy on the internet).

>>25585
Alright. Arguing with an autistic person is pointless. I should just try and feel bad for you since I know you can't help it.

The very intersting fact about schizoids, are they really less sucessful than schizophrenics. I mean i saw a graphic some time ago, they were really below the line of sucess compared to schizophrenics. Also do you people feel a strong need to be loved? Explain how, because I would imagine Tohno-chan is a place where the users have long abandoned such feelings in real life. But it could be abstract also.
And weak ethnic affiliation and involvement with others. Involvement with others doing what sort of things, and what does it mean by ethnic affiliation?

>>25587
>Explain how
Robots for me personally.
>what does it mean by ethnic affiliation?
If you go to any more popular imageboard, you'll see. There's many people who dislike society, but blame culture rather than normalacy in its entirety. They think everything would be peachy if the culture around them changed to be more tradtional or whatever their preference is because they feel a "connection" with their own ethnic group. If only members of their ethnic group had the correct mindset they think they'd be happy. I think these notions are less common in schizoid people.

Post edited on 16th May 2020, 8:08am

>>25588
>but blame culture rather than normalacy in its entirety.

It's the same thing. The norms of a society are the culture of a society.

>>25587
>Also do you people feel a strong need to be loved?
Yes.
>Explain how
No, it's self explanatory.
>I would imagine Tohno-chan is a place where the users have long abandoned such feelings in real life.
This is a NEET site, not I-don't-need-to-be-loved site.

>25587
>The very intersting fact about schizoids, are they really less sucessful than schizophrenics.

Curiously I just watched that John Nash movie some hours ago. What you said makes sense to me, socializing is the biggest skill for success, more than anything else, and being schizophrenic doesn't necessarily fucks with that, while being schizo necessarily does it.

>Also do you people feel a strong need to be loved?

That was in the covert list right? At least I wouldn't define something I experience that way, or in any conventional way, but sometimes I would like to know someone to share certain things, someone with a similar mindset so I can contrast my thoughts (a second opinion) or someone who could teach me things and viceversa.
But that's one individual, not a family, not a group of friends, I don't wish for that.
And what I could certainly define as an strong need is of being at peace and not having to deal with the shit that even the minimal social interaction involves. It exhausts me, it makes me feel sick, physically, and I can cause negative effects to others the same way.

>and what does it mean by ethnic affiliation?

I have parents from different countries, I don't feel identified with my country or my culture, even when I talk my maternal language it doesn't feel like my language at all. I feel like a foreigner, often finding myself criticizing my countrymen as if I was some sort of tourist or immigrant. I guess it means something like that.

>>25591
Sorry, meant for >>25587

>>25588
>>25590
>>25591
Oh, now I understand it better, thanks a lot. I see, the need to be loved not necesserialy implies affection for specific living people the schizoid has no relation with. It's more of a feeling of desire for a equal comrade, or something.
Ethnic affiliation, yes now that you mention I also mentally criticize the countrymen too. Sometimes there's people who say the worst thing about the country of theirs is weather or the price of living, sometimes I think the worst thing about my country is the people who live in it.
Social skills are sought after because they are a very important thing for success. Even with psychosis and barely being able to write a coherent sentence schizophrenics fare better in the research than schizoids, really impressive.
Also the fantasy
>four of the schizoid boys reported having exclusively internal violent fantasies (concerned with Zulu wars, abattoirs, fascists and communists and a collection of knives, respectively), which were pursued entirely by themselves, while the only non-schizoid subject to report a violent fantasy life shared his with a group of young men (dressing up and riding motorcycles as a self-styled "panzer" group)
Is funny and relatable. Tohno-chan should set up a panzer gang as well.

>>25587
>what does it mean by ethnic affiliation?
I don't feel any strong ties to any ethnicity. I have no interest in my peoples culture, race, or even my family tree and my family name means nothing to me. That could just be because I'm a half breed however, or because I'm very separated from the groups my family comes from as well as most of my family itself, so I can't speak for other schizoids.
>do you people feel a strong need to be loved?
It sounds good on paper and seems like it would be nice, but could also be burdensome. Chances are I likely wouldn't be able to reciprocate this person(or people's) feelings.
>are they really less sucessful than schizophrenics.
Makes sense. I've been content in the past with low paying jobs that allowed me isolation and freedom to do as I please. Ideally I'd have enough to live alone and fund my hobbies, preferably without having to work so as to have more time for anime and games, anything past that is unnecessary.

>It's more of a feeling of desire for a equal comrade

You totally get it and used better words than I.

About the violence, I don't rememeber that well what I read about it, but it seems schizoids don't tend to use it. I'm personally unable to do it, even when I'm not against it in moral grounds, it's like something physical, I can't even yell. This has been a great source of pain for me since it makes me thing it's because I'm weak, a coward, fag, etc.

>>25587
I think it's silly that some people think an ethnically homogeneous state would somehow make life more bearable in a substantial way for total outcasts and people who are that far from the norm. Yeah sure there would be less worry about going into poor areas in cities, but it's not like abnormal people have exactly been accepted in society before modernity. I've seen the old hermit concept before but that is nothing like what people think and those people were not liked by anyone in society, including the rulers. Other types of monks that were accepted in society spent more time on missions helping the poor or preaching, and would certainly be expected to be able to have normal conversations with other people. A truly schizoid person would have been the wild man who is sent out of the city and left to die, begging at its gates and eventually starving. There is nowhere on this earth for socially abnormal people.

>>25597
That's exactly what I meant by normalcy. People are limited in how they can be and certain types of people will always be more common. A person who is not one of those types will never comfortably fit in. To make everyone fit in, you'd need to change people on a fundamental level.

>>25573
>it's basically the same as a forum signature
It's some undesirable outsider trying to stir shit up. Now there's TWO of them on /ot/, bitching about the core users of this very imageboard, white knighting for the poor poor normalfags burdened by the plague of hikki NEETs. What the fuck is going on and why is this allowed?

>>25503
I've never had the issue you seem to have with tests. I used to be a bit frustrated that I had low to middling values on most things. I knew something was different about me, but could never find what from those stupid online tests. Figured maybe I was just wired differently - but that's really what most personality disorders are.
I'm not sure if this is a trait for all schizoids or just me, but I find it very easy to analyze myself and realize my personality traits. So reading through articles like the wikipedia one I can tell which parts fit me and how well they fit me. Nothing has matched me quite as well as SPD. It's not perfect by any means, but it's over 90% accurate at least. Perhaps you should think about and write down traits you have. Try to discover who you are (on a brain level). Then compare those traits alongside your own memories and experiences to the descriptions of various disorders or conditions. Don't rely on some test. Nobody should know you better than you know yourself. So you are the best person to diagnose yourself.

>>25508
>At this point I'm not so sure if it's a mental disorder or just some a personality type.
If schizoids were regularly successful it'd likely just be a rare personality type or a disorder that doesn't need treatment. Sociopath behavior is common in CEOs, but nobody is clamoring to get them treated for it. I think SPD is only seen as a problem because it's hard to classify something that often negatively impacts an individual as a personality type.

>>25601

I always heard diagnosing yourself is a terrible mistake you should never do. Almost all psychologists repeat the same, everytime you hear a psychologist in media talking about some disorder/pathology it's almost sure he will starting saying that. But I don't trust psychologists, maybe it's just a way to keep having clients or to embellish their profession so people don't think it's something you can do by yourself by reading their manuals.
Problem is I don't trust myself either.

I did what you said, and I also share like a 90% of traits described. Problem is I've been researching more, and schizoid personality disorder is described differently and contradictorily in multiple sources. I listened some psychologist saying SPD is defined essentially by a total absence of pleasant or unpleasant feelings, and that automatically would discard me. I can't help but feel psychology and it's professionals aren't serious; I have a niece with mentals problems (which I have no relation with) that have been diagnosed with mental retardation, asperger, other autism disorders, basically every doctor gives a different dyagnose.

I will try to read DSM-5, I think that's basically what most doctors only do anyway, but this is just a newer version of the same manual that considered homosexuality included in mental disorders until not that long ago and changes definitions and categories with every new edition.

>>25602
>Problem is I've been researching more, and schizoid personality disorder is described differently and contradictorily in multiple sources.

I found that too. There was somebody that lumped then into different groups which made more sense, I can't find it though. One group was is the emotionless group, one group was a energy-less group, one group was a hermit group and another group was normalish, plus you have over and covert. I think part of why it is so contradictory is that it's probably actually only a part of the total diagnosis(the reclusive anti-social part) but you can have people with the disorder who have other issues and personality types and they get lumped in as well, it's likely that many schizoids would suffer from depression due to their lifestyles and that would give them the emotionless traits but it would not be schizoidal itself.

>considered homosexuality included in mental disorders until not that long ago

Because it is one. Not being insulting or rude or anything but it's what it is.

>>25603
>Because it is one. Not being insulting or rude or anything but it's what it is.

That wasn't my point though, I don't really know if it's a mental disorder or not, but if it's like that then why to take it out because political reasons? If it's supposed to be a scientifical manual then it doesn't make sense it can change that much just because that. I know other sciences can be affected by politics and society changes, but not at that degree.

>>25604
>>25603
The fundamental pillars in psychopathology are looking at the harm, risk, distress, impairment a condition causes. Notice how abnormality isn't included. Categorizing a condition as a mental disorder is stating that it merits treatment.

Homosexuality was depathologized and removed from the DSM because the APA determined it didn't meet those parameters. They looked at homosexuality through the scope of its objective harm as a condition, not through the various theories that aimed to explain its cause. Nothing political about it.

After watching this lecture https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXiHStLfjP0 I've been reading The Master and His Emissary which is about the left and right brain hemisphere and how the left is taking over, and it's made me wonder about some things.

I've officially been diagnosed with schizotopy, although it might as well have been schizoid, and in the end I don't really feel it. I can relate to the things in the wiki article as well, but something seems to be off about it, as if it's really just one symptom listed as many. It could probably be described with "wanting to connect, but somehow being unable to". For some reason deep feelings like being hungry for love and having intense need of being involved with others are combined with being aloof and withdrawn which suggests the disconnect and also a wanting for it not to be so. It's like there's a war going on between the part that wants to connect and the part which wants to disconnect; it's like a war between the right and left hemisphere, in which the left hemisphere is winning.

I've been thinking lately how my surroundings coincide with my mental state. It's like my mind is closed, just as I've closed myself away from the world. Back when my parents got divorced, my dad kept a fairly large house and got a 3DPD soon after. I never ended up getting along with the 3DPD for different reasons, and most of the time I was secluding myself in my room on the upper floor with the 3DPD having the entire bottom floor, at least that's how I saw it. I never invited anyone over ever because I wasn't happy, but I didn't want to show it either. I couldn't talk to my parents either, and me and my sister was on bad terms as well. To sum it up I ended up secluded physically and emotionally, and I still am to this day. And while I call it seclusion, what it really is is a lack of connecting, a lack of seeing and being seen, hearing and being heard, feeling and being felt, a lack of physical, emotional and mental connection. I bottle things up, have a hard time voicing my thoughts, which in turn secludes me more.

If you live like someone who's mentally ill, you become mentally ill.

>>25606
>it's like a war between the right and left hemisphere

I think I always thought about the same you are talking but in completely different terms; more like the confrontation between expectations and reality. It's like the suicide dilemma, the suicide mostly loves life but because loves life that much he can't keep living in what it is a bad substitute of it or of the ideal he has of it.
For a more simple example, it's like having an exquisite palate and being given dry bread and nothing else. You will turn depressed and stop eating, then someone who can't catch the situation will say "this guy hates food".

>>25605
Question is then, why it did meet those parameters before? They just changed the parameters? I don't know but I can't help but feel it had nothing to do with a serious analysis or scientific methodology but because society just changed their views and they adapted to it.

>>25608
>They just changed the parameters?
The revisions to the DSM is a reflection of how plastic pychopathology as a whole is. For example paraphilias like sadomasochism used to be broadly represented but today a distinction is made between atypical sexual interest and a disorder. Earlier revisions routinely receive criticism for arbitrary definitions of normality, and the field as a whole was very also slow to adapt to new research on homosexuality.


It's a bit like how left-handedness used to be taught out of schoolchildren through the 1970's.