>What are they?
candy and posting on the internet, especially imageboards.
>How did you get them?
I was raised on a diet very rich in sugar, and I always had exotic interests which I couldn't talk about with anyone I knew IRL.
>Have you gotten past them?
candy, yes. I was diagnosed with T2 diabetes, which made me pull the emergency brake on that.
Imageboards, I keep falling back into that hole because I think cutting them out completely would be detrimental to my well-being, and finding a good balance is hard.

Yes. Food and the internet. I'm sure nearly everyone here has an addiction to the internet.

I guess I got addicted to food when i started antidepressants and gained my appetite back. Food is one of the few things that actually brings me pleasure, so it doesnt surprise me that it is an addiction. Its been very bad for my health, im not extremely overweight but what little fat I do have severely exacerbates my sleep apnea and I suffer from fatigue terribly. Trying to lose weight has been a big struggle for me due to food addiction.

I think addiction to the internet is something most people underestimate. The screen gives you stimulation, constantly. You don't learn delayed gratification. Things in the real world don't provide instant gratification like technology does.

>>25860
Internet and pornography (ecchi). Latter is an easy source of dopamine, and it's easy to see the appeal of it considering I almost never interact with anyone in the real world so it's a substitute. Although I've increasingly been getting into harder (read: ryona/guro/etc.) forms of pornography so I should probably stay off that hedonistic treadmill a bit.

>>25860
I'm quite irregular with my addictions.
I have smoked since I was 14, but in my life I spent more time quitting than actually smoking. Now I only smoke at work, like 2-3 per day, but if I happen to have anything to smoke at home I can't contain myself for shit. This isn't even how a nicotine addiction should work, I guess it's psychological or something.
I also can suffer an almost obese-like obsession with food (unhealthy food) just to drop it all after some time and barely eat for months. I don't really understand this either.
I don't mind the internet, for some time I thought I was addicted but I discovered I could live without it and not being particularly affected.

Sorry if this is a bit melodramatic. Talking about it helps me even if it's just random strangers on an imageboard.

I've had a pretty serious porn addiction for the past several years. You could make the argument it's been lifelong but the last few years have been way worse. I have masochistic tendencies and it's something I've suppressed for a long time. Themes of blackmail, coercion, completely bending over for a girl no matter how badly she treats me. The more personal it is the more it gets me off. Getting spanked is a turn on. Getting spanked as the girl tells me about how abused men need to be put in their place to break the cycle... That shit really turns me on. Apologizing is a big theme.

It's fueled by childhood trauma. Some of it comes down to "muh dopamine" but there seems to be something a lot more sinister going on. I seem to use porn as a means to self harm. It's hard to explain the scope of that. Whenever I entertain these fantasies it's an incredible rush. Once I finish things get bad. No matter how good my day was going before it goes in the toilet. My motivation and will to do things plummet. Crying after a scene isn't rare. I'd rather cry than dissociate. I've spent hours doing nothing because my brain pulled the plug. Not "wasting time" doing nothing. Actually doing nothing. Like barely thinking as I stare down my pc which has long since went to sleep.

Those effects have lessened over time but I need to stop. It certainly hasn't been all bad. I understand the way the trauma works much better and I've talked with some people who've had similar life trajectories. It's thanks to them that I started hating myself less. I've been trying to stop but it's hard. Sexual thoughts make me uncomfortable and so my gut reaction is to destroy them (excessive fapping) or to label them as bad (shame, self hatred). It's... very scary. When I go for more than a few days without fapping I start getting intense urges. If I stand strong the urge to fap morphs into an urge to cut. I cut myself in highschool a few times but they weren't "real" cuts and were done more out of curiosity than anything else. This is something different. I've fantasized about it. Feeling the blade press into my skin, the slow tearing apart of skin. The bleeding. Sexual thoughts would be the last thing on my mind and it'd sting for hours, maybe even days. The thought sometimes even becomes sexually exciting. Honestly? I want to cut myself but I know it won't solve anything. I already opened pandoras box. Opening another isn't a good idea. I saw somebody say they do a lot of similar things to the brain (cutting/fapping). Maybe that's why. I can't start. If I start I'll die. I live alone and I'm stubborn. I won't go see doctors and if my history with fapping is anything to go by I'll take things too far.

There is some hope though. Back in July I had a two week streak which is the longest I've ever gone without porn. I did still fap but I kept myself from fantasizing. I'd describe that as less exciting but more fulfilling. The pleasure was a lot more about the body rather than the mind. I didn't get the same crash or low mood after finishing. I did still want to cut myself but towards the end that desire started falling off... Unfortunately life happened, stress piled on and I relapsed. I changed a lot of things in my personal life that made that possible. I started going to the park regularly and poured a lot of time into home improvement. I had to move and so all the things I picked up to keep hands off pp had to change. It was actually three weeks if you don't count having looked at porn once during the first seven days. Everything about my life was easier during those two weeks. If I can get back to that place I can beat this. I wasn't stressed out all the time and was actually engaging with my hobbies again. I was a lot more present in my body too. It made me kind of uncomfortable but at the same time it was really nice. I miss that feeling. I haven't felt that way since I was a child.

>>25873
Your fetishes suck. If you're cutting yourself, see a doctor. I have a hard time believing someone with so little self-respect could be stubborn.

>>25874
what's the doctor gonna do? He can treat the cuts, but he can't just make the underlying psychological problems go away. And a shrink would probably just put him on drugs.

The companionship and love of a non-abusive female might help him, but him being on this site means he's probably shit out of luck in that regard.

>>25873
>When I go for more than a few days without fapping I start getting intense urges.

Isn't this normal? I thought it was.
I have a certain paraphilia but it isn't as fucked up as yours or it affects my life too much. I think being into practically everything a degenerate imagination can be into has helped me to not to be particularly obsessed.
Still, I think I can understand your situation. It's a shame sexuality can fuck you up so much when we don't have any use for it.

sugar

>>25875
A girl would be a big help but not wanting somebody with my problems is pretty reasonable. It's not all woe is me. I'm selfish and covertly narcissistic. I've managed to unlearn some of that but humans are like dogs. Some tricks are easy to teach but difficult to unlearn. Humans are no different.
Not all hope is lost on finding someone but it feels like playing the lottery. The kind of person I'd want is also going to feel hopeless and won't put much effort into dating or socializing. The chances these people ever meet is pretty slim. Girls like that exist but they're much better at blending in with normals. You can't just look at someone and easily tell they're a (compatible) weirdo.

I've been considering therapy but there aren't many psychologists in my area, especially men. If I just wanted drugs (psychiatry) I'd be golden... I've solved a lot of mental issues on my own but I worry this is different. Or that I won't have it solved for many, many years. My insurance is pretty awful for mental health but open enrollment is soon.

>>25876
It's normal but... not normal for how I deal with it. What makes the urges hard is how uncomfortable I am with sexual thoughts. It drags up a lot of shame for me but at the same time it feels nice... People seem to call it confidence but I don't think that's accurate. It's more like a drive to do things rather than sit at home all day. Just taking a 30m walk does a lot to vent it out. It's a mixture of fear, hornyness, loneliness, confidence, drive, and despair. I think this feeling is why teenagers always act so stupid. They're learning how to manage this feeling. I always suppressed it and now I need to figure it out. It's tempting to hit the release valve but it's a short term solution creating a long term problem.
When I get past this I'm not going to be the same person. Both in good and bad ways.

>>25911
So you're a selfish, covert-narcissist, masochist? That makes no sense. Is forced arrogance your way of compensating for low self-worth? A real selfish person doesn't even think about these things. They use others, discard them, and forget about it while still thinking they're a decent person. They don't get turned on by being stepped on to end "the cycle of abuse" or bullshit like that, they just devour people.

Post edited on 18th Sep 2020, 4:39pm