NEET is not a label, it's a way of life!
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27060 No. 27060 [Edit]
Dear neets, right now I am facing a strange situation. All my life I always thought things would naturally progress, and I would get a stereotypical job and a wife or something, and it would take an real concentrated effort to escape these circumstances. At the same time I always longed for neetdom, to remain in the comfort of my room, away from ford-drivers. After I graduated HS, I felt this bizarre sense of incongruence when thinking about me working or being any profession, and also when doing any of the regular things adults do, such as dating, having a house with marriage, etc. When pressured to decide my future, I choose STEM field, simply because my HS acquaintances seemed to get into it and because I was an introvert so I thought it would fit me. The thing was, I never had any passion whatsoever. People around me seemed to be really into it, or at least didn't dislike the whole thing, some of them did similar stuff since they were a child. So I did a little engineering and CompSci, failing grades here there, and basically changing majors left and right. When I saw that I hated programming and had failed databases several times in a row, I decided it was time to quit again. I choose math, owing to similar reasons of being abstract rules that give insight into problems and shit like that (there's a mathfag here that explains this really well). Now, this course I choose is actually a course for teaching math, I downplayed the effects of this when I signed up (I also had just watched Kojikan). Needless to say, the prospect of going to another semester of this is terrifying, I actually missed all the actual teaching classes for obvious reasons. I'm 23, I think I am already getting too old for this shit. My parents place much importance into academics, but they have seen that no matter how much they screamed at me since my bad grades at middle school days, I continue to be a passionless individual and sincerely can't care less about this. My family gave me three options: Finish the shit I started, try some other course(non-teaching math or something else) or become a neet. Naturally the prospect of being a neet seems a bit like a relieve, but it sounds like a trojan horse. My relationship with my family is not the best, and this would mean being in this house forever. I would like to hear the advice of other anons here, older anons, neets or whatever.
I keep thinking I am doing something wrong, but I don't know what. Do people actually like/have passion for anything? Maybe I should become a chaplain, try religion. Or draw hentai, is it still profitable these days?
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>> No. 27061 [Edit]
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27061
>>27060
I'm surprised your family gave you the neet option.

This is one of those things where advice can't help a person much. Either get good at making yourself do things you don't want to do, look for things that require less effort, or look for some niche you think you can make money off of. If all else fails, there's always social services.

Post edited on 1st Feb 2022, 1:37pm
>> No. 27062 [Edit]
>>27060
>I always thought things would naturally progress, and I would get a stereotypical job and a wife or something, and it would take an real concentrated effort to escape these circumstances
Interesting that you thought this, considering that I'd assume most people here realized fairly early on that life wouldn't turn out for them like it did for others (who seemed to just "fall into" that path you mentioned without effort).

All I can say is that "passion" for a topic is orthogonal to getting a job in it. There are people who get jobs as software engineers who don't care about shit other than the the amount of money they're making, and there are those who have a passion for it but end up taking a soulless job at a megacorp toiling away at software that will be deprecated next month.

That said, unless you're interested in academia I'm not sure if there's much benefit to doing a math major at this moment, giving that any job in industry will likely be closer to data science anyhow (unless you're in the top 1% of people who can work their way into places like rentech, 2sigma, et al. to develop models but if that's the case you probably wouldn't be here).
>> No. 27063 [Edit]
>>27060
I thought about becoming a priest in my late 20's. It was a silly idea but at some point it seemed impossible for me to ever find a job so every crazy thought passed through my mind, joining the army too.
I'm old but not wise enough to give any useful advice. Waiting for something to be passionate about seems a mistake to me. I'm not passionate about anything (useful) either, I rank 0 in every aspect necessary to make a living, no brains, no social skills, not even physical strenght. I would have liked to learn a profession, anything, just so I could say I'm something, a computer technician, a carpenter, anything. Now I'm old and I'm nothing, I can only expect to go from one shitty job to another until I become definitively unemployable. I also regreet every second I leeched my parents after I was 18 yo. I left my parents house when I was 18, only good thing I ever did, but I made the mistake of studying with their support and ended returning there. If I was you I would leave as soon as possible, but I'm not you and you're not me. If you have some minimum skills for math and you even started STEM I'm sure you're far more capable than I ever was, so you will figure something.
>> No. 27064 [Edit]
Huh? Two people here wanted to become a priest? Just wait until that ranting anti-religion fanatic hears about this. I never thought Tohno would end up having many people like that, I really don't think you can 'try religion' though, you probably actually have to believe it and that would probably involve being raised around it from birth. It's probably not fun anyway, being a priest to me(somebody who has never set foot in a church) seems to be more of a guiding and community mentor type role, you would have to know your congregation and listen to their problems, participate in community events etc.

I've completely given up on ever getting a job of any kind so I can't help you. You won't be able to live off drawing Hentai, not unless you have government benefits as well or you are living with your parents and don't need much, you would have to be VERY good and well known and established to make enough to live on your own on that.
>> No. 27065 [Edit]
>>27064
>Two people here wanted to become a priest?
That makes sense given people's perception of priests. Not too difficult, "moral and principled", surrounded by forgiving people.

Post edited on 1st Feb 2022, 6:32pm
>> No. 27067 [Edit]
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27067
>>27060
Someone could probably argue that it would be advantageous for you to stick with some sort of degree since it might afford you more career opportunities; what's the point, though, if you hate what you're doing? I understand that many careers available to people who do math are very heavy on programming. From the sound of things, I do not think you should spend any more time in college unless you find a subject you really like, perhaps on your own time outside of school. Otherwise, you may push through four or five more years of classes, possibly convinced that things will be better at the end of the tunnel, only to realize that your degree was an expensive introduction to a life of doing something you hate every day. If you ultimately decide against NEET, there are still many things you can do without a college education.

> Do people actually like/have passion for anything?
Most of your classmates probably have no interest in their major fields of study. Many of them are also studying in college because they were directionless after high school or influenced by friends/parents; others might just want money. In either case, I think someone in a situation like that would be better off dropping out, saving himself lots of time and money.

I am lucky to enjoy math, enough that I now do it recreationally, but what works for me won't work for everyone. You may find that your interests lie outside of academia.
>> No. 27068 [Edit]
>>27060
You mirror my experience quite well.
I eventually found something to study that I find interesting: Theology, or to be more accurate, Catholic theology since I'm a catholic.
I tried CompSci before and though I like some programming as a hobby, it's just not something I could dedicate 8 hours a day every day towards. But theology I find interesting, so I'm not doing too badly... though I shudder when I think about the ancient Greek requirement. Definitely not for you if you aren't interested beforehand. I'd get a translation of the Summa Theologica beforehand and if you don't like reading that, you wouldn't like Theology. Job prospects are a bit nebulous, it's mostly academia, going on various ethics commissions, becoming a lay theologian for the Church, or becoming a priest.
>Maybe I should become a chaplain, try religion
"Try" religion before becoming anything like a clergy member or lay minister.
I don't know what your faith is, but look up what spiritual exercises clergy members are expected to perform and do those that lay people can perform (no transubstantiation for Catholics), that'd be the Liturgy of the Hours in Catholicism for example.
Stick with that for a couple months and see what happens. For me, it sort of fixed my masturbation habit and fucked up fetishes. Though, if you can do that and you have some hikki tendencies, monastic life might be more suitable for you since it deals less with people. Then again, it does require total obedience, so there's that.

As for the NEET option, I'd only recommend it if your country pays enough neet/'tismbux for you to get your own small apartment/hovel. If your relationship with your family is already strained, it's only going to get so much worse when you're a couple years into NEETdom, and if they decide to kick you out in 10-15 years, you're boned without a CV. Also, how is it going to go after your parents retire and make less money? After they die?
>>27064
You can learn religion just fine. I was nominally catholic, but my family went to church once a year at best, no confession or anything.
As said above, if you're here, chances are monastic life would fit you better than ministry.
>> No. 27069 [Edit]
>>27064
>many people like that
What do you mean "like that"? In my case, I'm not a religious person, I don't believe in God, but when you're almost 30 yo and you suspect you're not gonna find a job ever again you contemplate every possible idea. In the past it was common in families for the first son to inherit the land, for the second to go to the army and for the third to become a priest, not because they were religious and patriotic, but because it gave them the best chance of survival.
Also being a virgin without interest in relations seems like a natural fit for priesthood and you don't need to interact with too much people considering how empty churches are today, not too many work hours either. Maybe it wasn't too silly to think about it.
>> No. 27070 [Edit]
I feel like the same circumstance, been in collage for a while and just don't feel anything, no motivation. by this point i just want a job that pays. but i started collage late at 21, i'm 25 now and not even done finishing up. i don't have much advise just wanted to say i feel yea
>> No. 27072 [Edit]
>>27069
By like that I mean religious people or people leaning towards religion.

>In the past it was common in families for the first son to inherit the land, for the second to go to the army and for the third to become a priest, not because they were religious and patriotic, but because it gave them the best chance of survival.
Well inheriting the land did essentially mean joining the army as well but I see what you mean, the younger children would usually go to the church or in search of their own fame and fortune. But they still grew up in religious environments and most of them were religious or at least pretended to be and they didn't really join the church just to survive they did it for wealth and political reasons. Which presumably you are not going to be doing.

You would need to interact with people because it's a community role.
>> No. 27073 [Edit]
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27073
>>27061
How can somebody get good at doing things they don't want to do?
>>27062
What if you don't care about the job and don't care about the money? Agreed about academia, you should certainly be the type for it if you are going to do it.
>>27063
Second that it is a mistake waiting for a passion.
>>27064
OP can live from drawing hentai, but it depends where OP lives. If he lives in the western world, then you are right about needing to live with your parents or being in need of support from the government. I can also recommend to pick a niche that isn't covered that much yet, but as you already said, you would need a following first.
>>27067
I would be careful with that advice, of course working a job that you hate makes you miserable, but maybe living with his parents makes him even more miserable? Although I agree that your work should be something that you are at least ok with, so your advice of trying out something else is completely valid.
>>27068
> For me, it sort of fixed my masturbation habit and fucked up fetishes
I am interested, what exactly did you do?
> Also, how is it going to go after your parents retire and make less money? After they die?
This is why I bothered to get a degree and work, my parents are retired now and wouldn't be able to carry me anymore. Should always be considered when it comes to become/stay neet.
>> No. 27074 [Edit]
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27074
>>27073
>How can somebody get good at doing things they don't want to do?
What works for some people might not for others. It comes down to routine, habits, and finding an environment without distractions, a place where you feel you can't do anything except work(you can't masturbate in a library for instance).

Some people leverage social interaction/pressure too. That's half the point of study groups.

It's what's called "self-discipline" or conscientiousness. I'm below average in this, which might be why I'm so self-aware about it.
>> No. 27075 [Edit]
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27075
OP here, thanks for the may replies and advice.
>>27061
I was also surprised, though I might have sensed sadness in their voices when saying that.
>>27062
>unless you're interested in academia I'm not sure if there's much benefit to doing a math major at this moment
I'm not interested in academia. I believe one of the main advantages of getting this degree could be if I decide to try public examination to get a job working at a public office or something, as a degree many times is a requirement.
>>27063
>I thought about becoming a priest in my late 20's. It was a silly idea but at some point it seemed impossible for me to ever find a job so every crazy thought passed through my mind, joining the army too.
Interesting you say this. I also thought about the army. It's kinda of a last resort option.
>>27064
>Huh? Two people here wanted to become a priest? Just wait until that ranting anti-religion fanatic hears about this. I never thought Tohno would end up having many people like that,
You might have a point about priesthood being too much community, but I think priesthood was historically appealing for certain kinds of people who couldn't function in society. Besides the communion when I was a child I have never set foot on a church.
>>27067
>Otherwise, you may push through four or five more years of classes, possibly convinced that things will be better at the end of the tunnel, only to realize that your degree was an expensive introduction to a life of doing something you hate every day
Yes, I am already there, so to try many years just to get here again is very disappointing.
>>27068
There was very detailed blog I used to enjoy reading, it was probably written by a ex-monk or something, about the Greek Orthodox Churches.
>see what happens. For me, it sort of fixed my masturbation habit and fucked up fetishes.
Yeah, I have a serious masturbation habit with some disturbing fetishes. One of my fears about striking out on my own, is that I will not be able to contain myself from it. Right now I have no bank account, so it doesn't take much effort to prevent me from doing "irresponsible" stuff blowing it all up, since I can only make real money transactions.
>As for the NEET option, I'd only recommend it if your country pays enough neet/'tismbux for you to get your own small apartment/hovel. If your relationship with your family is already strained, it's only going to get so much worse when you're a couple years into NEETdom, and if they decide to kick you out in 10-15 years, you're boned without a CV. Also, how is it going to go after your parents retire and make less money? After they die?
I researched the requirements for neetbux, and it's basically impossible to get it unless you have a really serious case and have a really really tiny monthly wage(the family's monthly wage goes here as well) that's on the threshold of deject poverty, besides being a ridiculously small amount, so no. My parents will be retiring soon, they are entering their 60's, so I figure not much work from now on.
>> No. 27076 [Edit]
>>27073
As for my masturbatory habits, I used to do it 3-4 times a day, and with increasingly fucked up stuff, the worst probably being accident/crime scene pictures towards the end. That's when I noticed there was a problem. However, at the same time I looked into Catholicism, and started saying a rosary every day. Even after the first time, I had trouble masturbating at all because the prayer would just start running through my head, no matter how separate the two and despite me definitely not knowing it by heart at this point.
>>27075
>My parents will be retiring soon
If you decide for the NEET option, you better be really sure about them wanting it then, because the reduction of earnings hits many retirees fairly hard.
If you do want to see about the monk thing, there's monasteries that let you stay for a week with few if any effort to see how it fits you, and a trial year before you're sworn in for life is standard, at least in Catholicism.
>> No. 27136 [Edit]
I'm in a bit of a similar situation. I'm 21, close to 22. I entered university to study Japanese a few months ago but had to drop out, due to falling my exams, which resulted from a lack of motivation. The reason why I chose that major is probably not difficult to imagine; I spent all of my youth watching anime and to a lesser degree, playing Japanese videogames. Eventually, my interest extended to the culture's history and religions. But my course revolved mostly around learning the Japanese language, which I didn't have much interest or passion for. I'll still be returning to the course in a few months because there's nothing else that I could do that I am remotely interested in, in terms of education. I don't want to be a wageslave either and becoming a NEET is not an option for me.
>> No. 27139 [Edit]
>>27060
I'm 22, just got a job after being a neet for awhile. You dont need a degree to get a good job. For me, I got the comptia certification and now I got a comfy tech job. As for passion, I don't even think I am passionate about anything. You just have to think to yourself, "do I really want to be stuck like this". Or at least thats how I made it.
>> No. 27141 [Edit]
>>27136
>I entered university to study Japanese
Unless university is free in your country, this doesn't seem like a sound move, financial wise? English majors are already the laughing stock of employment prospects, and the job market for those majoring in japanese history/culture/language can't be any larger?

Why not avoid forking over money and just study these things on your own?
>> No. 27143 [Edit]
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27143
>>27141
>Unless university is free in your country, this doesn't seem like a sound move, financial wise? English majors are already the laughing stock of employment prospects, and the job market for those majoring in japanese history/culture/language can't be any larger?
It's practically free, yes. Let's just say there's no real financial downsides to it. From what I've heard, the job market for Japanese translation work is actually pretty big. I myself assumed that since Japan is a relatively wealthy country that is big in international trade and produces media which will only keep growing in popularity in the west, I'd probably have a decent amount of opportunities in terms of future employment.

>Why not avoid forking over money and just study these things on your own?
Well, I just lacked the discipline for that. I was hoping that receiving some sort of guidance would motivate me and help me learn the language more efficiently. Sadly, the amount of help I actually received was very limited. I was mostly on my own.

I also just didn't want to work. I'm currently working a low-skilled job until I go back and while it's nice earning money, I'd probably go insane doing this years on end. Being a student is the closest I can be to a NEET.
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