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22527 No. 22527 [Edit]
Do you think you might be cursed in some form or another? If so, in what way?
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>> No. 22529 [Edit]
I've got two. I call em the time bomb and the equivalent exchange.
Time bomb; No matter what I do or say or how nice I am to people, they always get stick of me and break all contact, generally within a month and the longest things ever last is three months. The few people I've known for a good length of time are very distant. I don't much like people in the first place, but this makes it completely impossible for me to ever have real friends, let alone lovers, and I'll forever be alone as a result.

Equivalent exchange; I can't be too happy or have things going too well for me, because if I do life will fuck me over soon enough in an amount equal to or greater than how good everything was. They wont let me starve and suffer, but they wont let me be happy. I'm forever forced to remain in a neutral purgatory like state, or pay the price if things improve.
>> No. 22536 [Edit]
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22536
Sort of, I've made peace with my curse.

I've never fit in anywhere. At best I imitate people without feeling like I belong. Like I'm a government agent infiltrating a group of commies with some left leanings. I get some of what they're on about but still find the whole thing a bit ridiculous. Everything they talk about seems so overblown but I just blend in like a chameleon. Because the nail that stands up gets hammered down.

It certainly doesn't help I learned "people skills" in hopes of escaping my condition. They help me blend into society a bit more but come with the cost of making people seem robotic, including myself. And just how infantile people are. If you're ever in a room full of normies with a news report on TV watch as they begin emoting like children, spouting exactly the reaction the producer wanted to induce. Like coaching a child. Once you know what to look for you can't stop seeing it. Or just watch how closely people follow bullshit rules. They expect a bolt of lightning from heaven will strike them down if they misbehave.

It used to bother me a lot but I don't care anymore. After a life like this you get used to it. So you've just gotta quit telling yourself you're sad about it. And laugh like a madman, detached from it all.
>> No. 22572 [Edit]
>>22536
Haha, I did that too, the learning human behaviour thing.
I never did look people in the eye when they spoke, so I tried really hard to but then I questioned which eye? I can't look into both at the same time; the middle of the brow? but that's not the eye and they probably think I'm weird for looking at their brow. So I just went back to looking away.

I haven't noticed your observations of people, maybe because we live in different cultures, but I did notice that normies have such collectivist fashion sense.
>> No. 22590 [Edit]
I think so, but I'm not entirely sure.

Maybe I'm just making a big thing out of my awful luck. My luck does get pretty awful at times, though.
>> No. 22607 [Edit]
>>22572
>they probably think I'm weird for looking at their brow
Unless you're really up close with someone, I doubt they'd notice.
>> No. 22638 [Edit]
>>22572
I'm not sure how I missed this post, but I also don't know what to look at when talking to someone. I sometimes just let my eyes scan their face, but I sometimes just can't do it and look around to avoid looking at one eye for too long. I try not to look at anybody for too long because looking at people trying to converse with me sort of makes me a bit nervous. I don't like it when people look at me, though, so that could also be a big part of it.

I'm a huge train wreck of a person.

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