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No. 28107
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>>28074
I apologize for this rant.
I feel similarly, although there was a bit of time after highschool where I was unable to get a job, aside from mcdonalds or burger king or other similar places, where I suppose I was NEET for a few months but I couldn't say I enjoyed it very much due to living with my parents. All it did was cause friction between my parents and myself and lead to my health becoming worse.
I was never capable of not attending school since my mother was extremely strict, at times beyond reason, and she would constantly criticize me for not doing well enough if I did not do well in school. For example I got a C in a math class in high school which I didn't take very serious and she acted as though I was about to become a highschool dropout and a failure and held it over my head for years as proof I failed the class, a completely unfounded claim thought up by her own neuroticism. So there was encouragement, but I wouldn't say it was in a very positive manner, and I think it is what partly made me so sour on the aspect of attending college.
Most of what you describe I could say the same for myself, although I think the distaste people have for me stems less from social anxiety and more from the fact that I simply talk too much or come off as a very odd person. Not in the manner that I go around starting drama with people or excessive gossipping but if someone starts a conversation with me I will run it on and on, and although I can recognize this after the fact when someone starts up a conversation I just feel a need to constantly talk.
Once high school ended I worked in a few manual labor type jobs for a couple years once high school had ended, since I felt I didn't need college and wanted to quickly part from my parents, although I learned that it was implausible to continue to do this as a career path, and I am where I am now attending college, and still living with my parents. I don't really get out of the house much, but I was often forced to by my family when younger so I am capable of doing so, but I take isolation whenever I can get it. Sadly my family doesn't see the joy in not always having noise or bright lights shining about.
I'm still fairly young, in my early 20's, but it seems that no matter how hard I try there is always a barrier preventing me from connecting with people. At this point, simply due to the amount of times I've done it, I don't feel any particular fear trying to talk to someone but it seems that I always say something off color or weird and will sour a conversation, if the person even bothers to respond to me at all which is not very often. I've wondered at times if I might have some sort of issue such as aspergers since I have relatives who suffer from it, but I think it would be a waste of time testing it at this point. Especially since I don't suffer the same sort of symptoms they do where I am unable to be around people, but rather it seems to be the opposite and people don't enjoy being around me.
I wish you the best though and hope one day you can at get a larger place to stay in, or can possibly get a higher paying job. I tend to hoard things, so I hope one day to get a large house if only so I don't have boxes halfway to the ceiling of stuff I buy in thrift stores, flea markets, or online. It isn't junk or trash, but I don't like getting rid of stuff like cables or books or electronics, even if I don't have any particular use for them, and so they accumulate over time.
I will say there was one period of about a year in high school where I mangaed to become 'friends' with some people who looking back tended to not be very good people and often put me in situation where I could have or did get in trouble, but once they started drug use I quickly drifted myself away from them. We never texted or called each other outside of the rare occasion where they might have invited me to go do something like fish. Mostly it was talking to each other if we happened to see each other in school or going to the gym on occasion, sometimes we would play video games. During most of this time, and from middle school onwards really, I had spent most of my time on the internet and that is where I found myself at home or least in place where I could enjoy myself while not at home, where I was watching anime or playing video games. But unlike many others here I do know how to drive or do other 'normal activities' but these have not helped me in any way in being a normal person sadly and really only served me in going to the grocery store or driving myself to school.
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