I feel the same OP. I'm not sure whether I should give up or not. I'm not exactly young, but I am not as old as many users here, and it seems like a cop-out to give up so early. I don't know. I feel like in the eyes of the average person, if you aren't a normalfag, then you mean nothing in their eyes. I guess it's less-so societal standards but moreso a type of social operation and the existence of "social value" that is garnered by having more connections. Need friends to make more friends. At the same time, I confusingly don't want to have friends because I just don't operate in the ways that most people do. I fucking hate existing social systems. I hate normalfaggotry. I hate tribe mentality. Having friends opens you to these systems and way of perceptions, and it's not simply how I view the world.
>It is rare when I am obessed with something and I feel the most bliss whenever I am obessed with something, could be a game or an anime
What leads you into these obsessions, and do you think that there is some way to voluntarily guide yourself into an obsession for the sake of distraction?
> Do i just care too much about these people online?
Are the friends you have simply online or are they offline friends, as well?
I'm starting to think that, no, online friendships aren't as bad as many think, but it doesn't seem wise to get overly attached, either. There's also a lot of people out there who are not trustworthy. It's quite challenging. I've noticed that people are far more easier to talk to online. However, in real life, people are often holed up to their cliques. I was socialized online, too, so it's a more familiar mode of communication for me.

>It was way worse when I used discord and that they would constantly just ditch me or insult me for something I would say
Well that seems like your issue. Discord (and really "instant messaging/communication") in general promise close-knit connections but really any so-called "friends" you make there are actually even more distant than the anonymous people you chat with on imageboards. I'm actually having trouble articulating precisely how/why I came to this conclusion (maybe I'm just too tired), but roughly it has to do with the notion of facades as discussed in the response to >>28883. In any group setting people instantly try to organize themselves into some hierarchies and take on personas to facilitate that. I don't know why it happens, but it always just does, maybe it's hardwired as a tribal survival mechanism. But whatever the reason, because of it you never actually have true discussion or connections. 1:1 conversations maybe don't suffer from quite the same issue, but there's still something about it that is deceiving, as it goes against the fundamental ephemeral reality of life as also discussed in my response to >>28883.

>Do i just care too much about these people online
Possibly. All I can say is that at one point as a so-called young adult I too felt some strong "emptiness". I naively assumed it must be from the lack of friends or something, but I also was not very good at communication and paradoxically didn't really feel I could "connect" with anyone. I first tried the approach of filling with things like discord, and while that sort of worked for a while after about a year or two I realized that all of that is just superficial.

And really the core issue was that I allowed myself to believe that I was "missing" something in the first place. And I recognized that those pangs of "emptiness" were not an indication of missing inter-personal relations or anything, but a more fundamental existential one that is unavoidable so long as you live. (See e.g. philosophical pessimism and Zapffe's short essay). With that realization was the corrolary that the causation is actually reversed, most people pursue relationships as a way to distract themselves from that emptiness, mostly as a way to bide their time until passing. Of course most people cannot just sit there doing absolutely nothing (although some monks do it so maybe it is a skill that can be learned, but the question of what to what end remains to be answered); but thanks to the Internet there is plenty of stuff to do. And interpersonal relationships are not necessary for the exchange of ideas: forums, imageboards, and such allow you to exchange ideas without needing to maintain the farce of relations. And in fact they can do it better and with higher quality.

(Also even though I realize it's meant to be a cathartic wall of text, breaking into paragraphs would be nice. It can also be cathartic to cleanly organize your thoughts.)

>>28889
I can understand why you wouldn't want to conform if you are in a group you will probably get insulted or belittled for being your true self. I don't really speak to people in groups, mostly just 1 to 1 talks with other people. I remember when I used to play on xbox360 and I found a group of people to play with but whenever there was another person who wanted to join they would always insult and belittle me to leave because there was a limit of 4 players on this game. They would keep dong this until I left the game, I felt awful whenever these people did this. I don't know why I played with these people who disrespected me. When I was younger I think I used to be more of a normie but I was different compared to there other people. When I think on my life I think it wasn't that bad I mean I don't have to work or do anything at all but when I really think about it was just pure agony having to be around all these people that thought I was odd and that I always felt like people were starring at me.

Most of life is just distracting my self from reality. I like to pretend that I am alone in the white void where there is nobody else but me and my waifu. I have my bedroom but the rest of the space outside the white void. I guess the thing that leads me to the obession is constantly being bored and some times if I am lucky I can get obessed with something. When i get in an obessed state I don't feel the need to socialise as much. It is still there but very minimal compared to when I am not obessed with something. I think its the fact that I been a NEET for a few years is for why I don't enjoy stuff as much anymore. Before I was a NEET life sucked but atleast when I at school/college I would feel happy whenever induluging in whatever I was intreasted in, but now that just feels hard for me.

>>28890
After quitting discord for awhile I ponder for why people even decide to use discord when it is such a shitty and resource intensetive program not to mention the tracking garbage that comes with the program. I think it's good that these people are on discord so they don't ruin any other places on the internet. Do people purposerly just use shitty programs when there are way better alternatives? Though ever since I left discord I have felt more isolated even though the people on there treated me very poorly. I had real life "friends" before but they started to dislike me because I critcrized what this 3DPD said to me. Though I knew them in real life but this talk was on discord. They were nicer to me before the 3DPD joined but when I think about they were mean to me. Most of my life I been treated poorly so it seems normal to me. But after the 3DPD joined thats when they really started to hate me and I could tell. They all came after me insulting me for judging this 3DPD. I feel like if you judge or critcize 3DPD people would hate you for that reason probably because the only thing they want to do with them is to do naughty things with them. I don't like the person who I used to be but I cannot do anything about that the fact of bringing my self down just seems worthless to me. Thankfully I don't remember lots of my past and most of it just a big blur so I can't completely remember all of the events that happened to me but some do stick out to me.

Though whenever I want isolate I feel the need to tell these people that i am isolating because I wouldn't want them to feel bad for not knowing where I am even though they do not do it to me. This person litreally didnt speak to me for 2 months and just said sorry but keeps not speaking to me when I want somebody to speak to me. He knows that I like to speak but he keeps doing this to me. I give him rants but he keeps trying to change the subject. I just want this person to just speak to me everyday. I don't wanna hate this person. I don't know if I am just being and idiot and that I am the one in the wrong for this. I do think it would be nice if I didn't desire any social interaction so I don't feel dissapointed. It's my brain is which causes me this meaningless suffering. I want to be able to have power over my brain instead of it having power over me. The traumatic events of the past are the past and should not effect me anymore but they still do. I am not living in that place anymore. I have watched a few videos of einzelganger talking about life, suffering, religion and more things. Thank you for the information from both of you.

I'm pretty convinced that most people just don't know how to make friends anymore and just want the convenience of what sort of use they can get out of everyone. The more friends you have, the less strong of a bond will be with each of them. That's why I would only stick with one person because of greater longevity. But it seems harder to come across that now because people are more inflexible and can't accept that there will be differences that are suppose to be normal. Not only that but people are just more angry and hostile.
I'm not sure if I could truly take to trying. But I am one of those people who gets excited by everything uttered, regardless of whether it seems serious or childish. One of my longest-lasting friends didn't seem to mind at all about anything I actually said, even though part of it went unanswered. They would converse with me as though I were some dumb dog, but they were happy for my presence since they struggled to find anyone that wasn't going to try and backstab them. I could offer a great thing because of my patience and eagerness, loyalty even, but so much of that went to waste and I just never liked it when friends had other friends or if anyone expressed talking to others. So over time I lost pretty much everyone and some of that was because of their doing and not just over my preference. And if me being disorganized and not quick enough is the problem, then that's all from spending so much of my time alone where most of that I don't really need to be super functional if there's nobody to impress. It's also to say I wouldn't be cruel enough towards another with similar flaws. If I bother to say anything though, especially if it was here, it's probably out of boredom or curiosity. I jump into things knowing it will be brief or with a risk of disappointment. Maybe embarrassment too since I have a bad habit of just rambling and straying from the flow of conversation. Most of the important things get said first in any social instances.

>>28891
>they started to dislike me because I critcrized what this 3DPD said to me. Though I knew them in real life but this talk was on discord. They were nicer to me before the 3DPD joined but when I think about they were mean to me. Most of my life I been treated poorly so it seems normal to me. But after the 3DPD joined thats when they really started to hate me and I could tell. They all came after me insulting me for judging this 3DPD.
It's awful how men have forgotten about yoko ono. Especially desperate nerds. All it takes is one harpy bitch manufacturing drama to break up a group of friends. It's disgusting.

>>28891
>Do people purposerly just use shitty programs when there are way better alternatives? Though ever since I left discord I have felt more isolated even though the people on there treated me very poorly.
It's a matter of herd operation. Everyone else uses the program, so everyone else must also use it. I personally refuse to use Discord because it won't let me create an account without a phone number, and I am too jewish to go buy a burner. Secondly, I have no interest in associating with the communities that tend to proliferate on Discord.
>I had real life "friends" before but they started to dislike me because I critcrized what this 3DPD said to me. Though I knew them in real life but this talk was on discord. They were nicer to me before the 3DPD joined but when I think about they were mean to me. Most of my life I been treated poorly so it seems normal to me. But after the 3DPD joined thats when they really started to hate me and I could tell. They all came after me insulting me for judging this 3DPD. I feel like if you judge or critcize 3DPD people would hate you for that reason probably because the only thing they want to do with them is to do naughty things with them.
It's a matter of how normalfags operate. They must alter their own social status to increase their chances of mating. If they put you down, then it can "boost" their rank in the hierarchy. It's dumb nigger shit, really. It's all a power struggle.
>>28893
>All it takes is one harpy bitch manufacturing drama to break up a group of friends. It's disgusting.
This shit is why I hate MMORPGs and games with a required social component. Can't get involved in any guild without this happening. They bring their social drama into my vidya, and it detracts from the gameplay experience.

Post edited on 3rd Apr 2024, 10:34pm

>>28891
>Do people purposerly just use shitty programs when there are way better alternatives?

The most widely adapted software solution or service is almost always bound to be one of the worsts as the corporate system incentivises riding off its popularity and milking its userbase to make up for its costs of operation.

Don't know if this belongs here, but I have tried to use forums again. One overstepped my boundaries heavily despite being a dead site and also refused to delete posts of mine. The other one is based in an age group that I have desperately tried to mimic since my preteens but even as a young adult I fail. It all makes me feel more and more like a child. It makes me want to sleep through this decade and nothing more.
>>28892
I think people have also become less compassionate, then again I'm not exactly experienced enough to say "things have always been that way" when they probably haven't. I've had to slowly accept times changing but it's just straight up bitter. There doesn't seem to be any sweetness in this day and age at all...

It all is just screaming into a bottle. You get your lungs overworked and never make a sound. Better just stop breathing at all and maintain boycott.

>>29040
>Better just stop breathing at all and maintain boycott.
Can you elaborate on what this actually means??

>>29042
Sure.