/so/ - Ronery
NEET is not a label, it's a way of life!

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File 144188109286.jpg - (93.43KB , 1280x720 , [Doremi]_DokiDoki!_Precure_16_[1280x720]_[BEE96FE4.jpg )
20558 No. 20558 [Edit]
What's it like to have friends?
Do you guys have any? If not do you even want any?
Expand all images
>> No. 20559 [Edit]
From my (very) limited experience real friends aren't anywhere near as nice to have as Chinese cartoons make it look like.
>> No. 20560 [Edit]
I had some really great friends when I was a teenager, but one day I moved to another country and eventually we stopped contacting each other.

Since then I haven't been able to call anyone my friend. Sometimes I still think that I dreamt the move and all the years that came after it.
>> No. 20561 [Edit]
Just the ones I go way back with from elementary and one from high school. Most of them are peculiar guys to the average person, but I know them well and trust my back to them. They're all spend most of their time behind the PC, so moving wasn't a terrible issue. Occasionally I'll head back to my hometown and we'll play games, have a drink or even a BBQ if the weather allows it.

Nowadays, it's easy to socialize and chill but like >>20559 states, real friends don't come along like that. That type of contact is only draining, that's why I count myself lucky to be part of a strange bunch and don't mind being the one to actively organize things so we can stay in touch. Apart from some people I've had good contact with, nothing could match the bonds I forged on the playground when I was like 6 or 7 years old, it's kind of funny.
>> No. 20563 [Edit]
The person has to like you which you accomplish by being either entertaining or emotionally supportive, but most people demand at least you make them laugh a little, in the United States at least.
I can get humor anywhere so I don't need funny people, they put pressure on me to be funny for them too and I don't like being funny for people and prefer to act insightful, but most people don't appreciate that.
The worst thing about friendship is when you've exhausted talking about everything you care about.
>> No. 20565 [Edit]
>What's it like to have friends?
Good if they actually care about you. Bad if they don't and treat you badly.
>Do you guys have any?
None in real life, just 2 or 3 online ones but they hardly talk anymore.
>do you even want any?
Hard to say. Friendship is very hard to come by anymore and people usually grow tired of me or forget about me entirely. It really just gets to the point where it feels like you're the one having to keep them interested. A lot of them were shitty people anyway so I feel less tempted to befriend anyone.
>> No. 20566 [Edit]
People are naturally compelled to make friends because if you're in a group you're sheltered from violence. The contemporary function of these groups is apparently to ceaselessly felate intra-group members while vehemently disdaining those who are outside of it.

The violence thing is outmoded because of societal institutions but you still see sublimated behavior that derives from these impulses. Bullying of outer-group or groupless individuals is basically people desiring to subject you to violence but settling for a less harmful alternative to comply with ambient societal norms.
>> No. 20568 [Edit]
> What's it like to have friends?
More obligations and expectations that aren't from your parents.
People you invite to potentially ruin your life even more.
Brief moments of happiness and respite.
> Do you guys have any?
A very little number of them, but I wouldn't consider them as "friends".
> If not do you even want any?
I don't want any friends. They'd only be my friends if I could read their true thoughts at any moment.
>> No. 20569 [Edit]
>>20568
Schizophrenia?
>> No. 20570 [Edit]
>>20569
Why would you think so? I could have written similarly, friends aren't necessarily good at all for everyone.

I would also add that most "friends" tend to only call you to drink alcohol with them and once you realize how awful intoxicants are you might as well never meet them again. Personally this is the reason I cut ties with the last few friends I had.
>> No. 20573 [Edit]
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20573
>What's it like to have friends?
I dont know what its like to have adult friends but in highschool the "friends" I had werent very pleasant. One used me for my vidya and the other few I think were convinced I would be a school shooter or something so they occasional said hi and things like that occasionally but talked to each other about how creepy I was.

>Do you guys have any?
Not currently, not ever if you have to enjoy friendships.

>If not do you even want any?

Sometimes, of I did have one though I feel like we would never talk and essentially not be friends, or we would talk a lot and I would hate them
>> No. 20576 [Edit]
>What's it like to have friends

As a child it was nice, but pretty much everything is as a child.

>Do you have any?

No, I rarely get contacted by people I know through steam (like once every few years) I've not had any close friends since the age of 11.

>If not do you want any?

Only if it's a close friend I can be honest with, but seeing I don't talk with my own parents (I still live at home, NEET) I doubt it would ever happen.
>> No. 20578 [Edit]
>>20570
Why not
>> No. 20580 [Edit]
I don't think I have any true friends. It's not that I'm ugly or that people aren't nice. I just have autism or something and simply never contact people and I'll hole up in my room on my computer. Most of my social contact comes from posting on chans and sometimes from this one group skype I joined. I have a couple of acquaintances.
>> No. 20584 [Edit]
http://tohno-chan.com/so/arch/res/10615.html

3 years after posting this my thoughts remain the same
They do (did) nothing for me but shit, over time my ability to enjoy anything in the external world has regressed so fucking much I'm not sure what could help at this point. It's all so boring.
>> No. 20595 [Edit]
I had friends in school, we just talked and stuff, it was kinda fun, but its not like we did anything together really.

Im sick and tired of being a loner.
It needs to end, il get a job and try to make some friends
>> No. 20598 [Edit]
I've never been too good at having friends. Had some when I was a kid but we'd always move away or something. Got some in high-school that clung to me for a while but only so they could use me for everything I was worth. I never got the impression they ever really cared about my thoughts or feelings. I know a few people online now that might call me a friend, but it doesn't feel genuine and I don't know if I could trust them anyway. I think it would be nice to have a real friend or two, but I suppose there would be a lot of responsibility involved with keeping them happy and interested which I doubt I'm up to at this point.
>> No. 20618 [Edit]
File 144238594633.png - (162.23KB , 425x320 , Face.png )
20618
>>20558
I had one really good friend. We were as close as brothers and we always hung around together so that we weren't alone. It was great and I thought that life wasn't so bad as long as I had at least one close person. But things changed and he changed. He is in the IN-Crowed now. He rather spends time partying with people than sitting around and watching Tv with me as we used to do. I'm not angry at him (well maybe a little) and I hope he can be happy this way, but now I can't say I'm spending time with a friend doing nothing. Now I officially wasting my life doing nothing alone...

Post edited on 15th Sep 2015, 11:48pm
>> No. 20663 [Edit]
File 144278563834.png - (24.72KB , 497x358 , c5f.png )
20663
I've had lots of friends in my time, but I grow distant out of disinterest rather quick. Really I just can't stand being around someone who doesn't agree with me on absolutely everything. I realize that makes me a bad friend, but really people need to stop being so worthless. My charisma often causes people to sway in my opinion's favor, but even that has it's limits. But I mean whatever, I like being alone anyway so it's cool.
>> No. 20699 [Edit]
>>20663
Charisma? More like manipulation.
>> No. 20700 [Edit]
It's annoying. I can't hold friendships because my standards are way too high. I always get annoyed when they have stupid opinions they can't back up or act in illogical ways they can't explain so I just end up wondering why I even bother with them and eventually cut them out entirely.
>> No. 20708 [Edit]
I don't think that it's worth the hassle. You can do pretty much every activity by yourself or over the internet without the need to sustain a relationship where you have more responsibilities like others here already said.

When I was a lot younger I did often get my hopes up because of idealizations in media and had high expectations of a lot of things (even today I'm not sure if I've ever loved someone because other people and most fictional works make it seem like a really strong/intense emotion to which the affections I've had during my life don't come close) but it was always disappointing.

I don't have any friends. I did meet a "friend" recently after 3 years but I regret the waste of time. I'm not a social guy, I prefer being alone, the presence of others feels more like a disturbance than anything, so I don't have a big need for social activities, talking with strangers on imageboards is enough for me.
It's funny that there are quite a few similarities between my experience and some of the others here.
>> No. 20715 [Edit]
>>20558
At this point I'm pretty certain that I'd be better off without close friends. You aren't missing out on anything, op.
>> No. 22346 [Edit]
> What's it like to have friends?
Nice. When you don't like them they aren't friends.

> Do you guys have any? If not do you even want any?
Yes but I rarely meet them in real life. Just talking on ts every day.
There is not much we could do without a computer.
Both of us don't have any consoles so no local multilayer.
I have no idea what normal fags do when they meet each other every day or even only every week.
>> No. 22357 [Edit]
>>22346
>what normal fags do when they meet each other every day or even only every week
drink.
>> No. 22359 [Edit]
After moving back to my home town I've ran into quite a few people I went to school with.

Mostly the ones I got along with... and they're all stuck in shitty service jobs. I presume the dicks moved somewhere else.

Part of me thinks we could get together and have some fun but we were never really friends and I doubt we'd have anything in common.
>> No. 22361 [Edit]
You may skip to the bottom instead of reading this monologue.

------
I do not have any friends.
In general I do not care about other people and I would not know what to do with someone else.
But from time to time I think I should try to make some friends,
as I always read how beneficial socializing is to the health.
Also, maybe I do want friends and I just do not realize it?
Quite a few problems I have might originate from depression, only on the basis of the symptoms.
But I do not feel depressive at all.
But it does not work out, whom should I talk to?
And what should I say?
So for starters I joined some chat rooms with people with shared interests.
But I did not like anyone, so I left.
Therefore no, I do not have any friends.
And I have no idea whether I want any.

I think my outlook on life was skewed by watching too many Anime so I do not like non-anime humans anymore.
But thinking back I might actually not have cared about anyone even before that.

Seeing how long this is, talking about myself and wasting your time instead of simply answering the question with few words, it seems I definitely do have an urge to communicate, at least.
------

"What's it like to have friends?"
No idea.
"Do you guys have any?"
No.
"If not do you even want any?"
No idea.
>> No. 22366 [Edit]
>>22357
So the last time I hung out with anybody, everyone was sitting around a table drinking cheap beer, listening to songs on their cell phones, and we were making party favors for someone's kid. (Before you shout normalfag, most of these people were family and I was just there to help out)

So what if NEET's/hikikomori/loners got to together and did the same thing? Just met somewhere with a planned activity, listened to music and drank? Why can't that work? It baffles me.
>> No. 22381 [Edit]
>>22366
We're not very good at organising things, evident by our lives.
Also we're spread out very far, physical closeness is the foundation of friendship.
>> No. 22385 [Edit]
>>22366
I always feel intense guilt and shame in social situations, I'm sure most people under the NEET umbrella feel the same way. Why would they want to hang out and feel guilty and shameful together? Sounds pretty gay to me.
>> No. 22388 [Edit]
Depends on how good they are. Having bad or even mediocre friends is terrible. Mind-numbing at best and at worst they can really fuck you up. Having good friends can be very nice though, I have four good IRL friends, two of which I can pretty much say anything to because they are incredibly understanding people. The other two are fun to hang out with and watch anime, and are also reasonably understanding. I will admit I am very lucky to have met these guys though. People like that are out there, but they are certainly rare.
>> No. 22392 [Edit]
>>22385
I assume because some people naturally have more need for human interaction than others. For me, occasionally talking with people online fills my interaction bar. Meeting irl sounds awful unless it's purposeful, like going to the zoo or going to watch a movie (in the case watching in a cinema is the only good way to watch it, like Doctor Strange a month ago).
>> No. 22401 [Edit]
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22401
>>22366
Stubbornness(?) It baffles me, too. Certainly, one could argue that it would be a fruitless endeavour given the state of mind of the individuals, but the participants of such a meeting would have so much in common that you'd expect there might be a deep-seated connection waiting to emerge therein.

If there's one thing I can be certain of, and no doubt this applies to many, loneliness is a terribly crushing thing for a person to endure. If people are warding off loneliness by talking to others of their ilk online, then you'd expect they'd love to ward off loneliness with actual physical beings that can fully relate to their unfortunate and unusual circumstances.

I don't think you have to hug and kiss it out, necessarily. Not if you don't want to, at least. And to all the 'tough' people that say: "I'm used to it", sure. Keep telling yourself that.

I do the *exact* same thing.

On the subject of friends, I've found through experience that the only successful way to make them in abundance is to lie and fake enthusiasm, which I find terribly difficult to do.

Lie about your mood, lie about your interests, lie about your approval of their hobbies – Couple that with forced enthusiasm, and you'll make many friends that will ultimately mean nothing to you. You'll have to be quite convincing, patient and able to keep up a charade for prolonged periods of time.

Does that sound appealing to anyone?

I tried it a few times, but I couldn't do it for long. I've had normal friends, and I hid my hobbies from them Kousaka Kirino style for a prolonged period until I gave up and just shut myself away because I'd been denied my hobbies for too long. I couldn't even play a video-game for a few hours a week, since I was expected to go out drinking every other day.

I've had otaku friends, too – I ended up hating them due to their disgusting meme-spouting awkwardness and various quirks. Otaku also have a tendency to be patronizing: "Have you heard of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure?"

Yes, I read the (available) English scanlations of it way over a decade ago. Thank you for asking.

TL;DR: To make friends, overlook everything bad they do, delude yourself, feign happiness, blindly approve of them.
>> No. 22403 [Edit]
>>22401
I have a friend who likes JoJo. Really though they're not Otaku since they only like what is accepted or makes them seem hip and cool. JoJo, being as stylised as it is and not moe, is perfect for people who want to put themselves above the fray but not be ostracised by them.
>> No. 22404 [Edit]
File 148270917898.jpg - (65.60KB , 1024x579 , Hmmm.jpg )
22404
>>22403
JoJo's that mainstream now? I'm shocked! If I had to pick a series I'd consider relatively mainstream, it'd be Attack on Titan. I've seen media/book stores literally put up merchandising displays in 'honour' of it. I'm not a fan – Oversaturation of something turns me off, personally speaking.

Back to friends! I did have a friend once who was a serious otaku. Probably the biggest otaku I personally knew. He'd come round my place and literally go through my entire collection/recent purchases and base his interests off mine. If I bought something new or if I was even casually reading/watching something undergoing translation, he simply had to have it.

He was one of those sorts of people who becomes a self-professed expert and sudden superfan of something after watching one episode/reading a single chapter (In their own mind, at least.)

So since we're all likely 'otaku' to some degree here, how would that make you feel? Meeting a potential 'friend' who fondles your belongings, invades your hobby and acts like they're the authority on it after dipping their toes in the shallow end of the pool. Has to suck, right?
>> No. 22405 [Edit]
>>22404
I blame all those JojoxTrump videos
>> No. 22406 [Edit]
>>22405
I've heard it's because it's being aired on adultswim or something like that.
>> No. 22408 [Edit]
>>22404
Anything that's popular among otaku, isn't weird or philisophical, and doesn't contain moe is likely to become mainstream.
>> No. 22483 [Edit]
>>20558
I have a few people between my hometown and university that I can truly call my friends, and it's great. There's not many of them but they're real friends, people who want the best for me and that I want the best for. Really fun to hang out with too, there aren't many things more /comfy/ than spending a Friday night drinking and exchanging bantz with people you care deeply for.
>> No. 22495 [Edit]
A few people I talk to online and that's pretty much it. I used to have a pretty good friend in high school so I do want more, but I'm kind of lazy to make the effort now and less people will seem to tolerate my weirdness here. That friend cut me off for good in the middle of 2015.

The memories were pretty good I'd say. If you can talk about anything with your friends, it's really like stepping into another world as silly as it sounds.
>> No. 22506 [Edit]
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22506
Constant disappointment. It's a few years (up to even 5 in my case) of bonding, fun and laughing together. Then they change and find other cliques to get into. I've been left in this dust to the point where I only have two, and I type to them daily about gripes, and they do the same to me. I'm hoping to god this isn't normal because otherwise I sympathize with a lot of people out there. Why is it so hard for people to stay the same? Why can't they be content with just one best friend? I'm sure I'll get over it soon enough.
>> No. 22534 [Edit]
>>22506
While I do think it is normal I don't think it applies to everybody. Though most probably do change if they get the chance to. I've had people undergo great changes and still stay the same, relatively speaking. Most people seem to change every so often, though. I think there's some craving for change within those people. It might be for the better not to be with them anyway, since they seem to want something else in their lives. The worst thing is that it can happen in an instant without warning. I guess that's my reasoning for not caring when someone successively starts cutting contact.
>> No. 22535 [Edit]
>>22506
>>22534
I mean, it's normal that people change.
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