Even if it bothered me, it's way too late for this now.
Here, have some Saki ass in return.

Not yet. I prefer it that way and I don't think I'll change my mind but maybe there'll be a radical change and I'll suddenly want to have a wife and children when I'm a wizard or something. That's what my mother still is convinced of at least, she can't (or just doesn't want to) believe that I want to continue living like this for the rest of my life.

Also regarding your subject: I don't understand how dying alone is that feared. I mean wouldn't it be worse for everyone if you had loved ones around you, you wouldn't want to die at all because it means leaving those probably forever, never seeing them again. And they would cry and all that shit. I was sitting besides my grandpa with my aunt when he died and I really don't want to experience that again, regardless of me being on the surviving side or the dying one.

It didn't for a long time. Then I had to make my way back into the world and it began to bother me because I saw how happy other people were as a result of their relationships.

>>21520
It's hard I know, but when you see those kind of people you have to remember the Titanic.
You see this brand new massive majestic ship with all it's fail safes and everyone saying it's unsinkable. Next thing you know you're freezing to death in the water while your 3DPD watches on.

Point is they 'look' happy, but you aren't seeing the arguments that go on behind closed doors, you're not seeing one cheat on the other, you're not seeing them abuse each other, lie to each other, or anything else of that sort. You're just looking at the tip of an iceberg and you have no clue what lurks beneath the surface.

>>21518

I'm a wizard and it was the opposite for me. Before I turned 30, I so badly needed (or at least thought that I needed) to have a wife and kids, and that not having that would make me forever unhappy and a loser. Well, I found out around a little bit before 30 that being in a relationship with kids would be the very thing that would make me unhappy. Granted, I'm still a loser, but at least I'm happy and that can be at least slightly changed, even more so when you are alone.

>>21521

This, so much. Most people just play smoke and mirrors. And even if you catch them in a genuine good moment, you don't know what else is there in the relationship. For all you know, the bad outweighs the good, as it usually does. Quite a few relationships are nothing but bad, too. Sad, it is.

Anyway, on the subject, I don't care anymore, but a part of me wants to have a halfway passable MtF girl as a willing sex slave. Probably wouldn't be that hard, if I didn't live in the middle of nowhere.

>>21523
I would think most people in these kind of communities would be more than used to that sort of thing by now.
While I personally could never see myself with a man or someone who used to be a man, I can however see the appeal. Simple fact of the matter is women are fucking insane. Besides being mentally unstable and unpredictable women these days have massive entitlement complexes which typically goes to their head and results them thinking they can do whatever they want and treat men however they want and never have to deal with repercussions, which unfortunately for the most part is true. They can be fat lazy self centered huge bitches and still get their pick from dozens of perfectly good men who will take anything they can get. So on paper it makes perfect sense to seek out a partner who has the (idealized) physical appearance of a female but without having to deal with the mental issues women come with. You also get the added bonus of not having to worry about kids which typically ruin relationships and drive a wedge between partners.

>>21526
Both are good points, I've heard post ops actually have a pretty high suicide rates, but hey nothing's perfect. Even if you hold out for VR/android waifus they'll have tons of flaws.
Personally I can't stand men or women and just want to get a realdoll when I move out.

>>21524
I never really saw that much difference between men and women. Both are shit and look like it.

>>21529
If we're talking Americans, then yeah there's little difference between the two.

>I've heard post ops actually have a pretty high suicide rate
who gives a shit if your sex toy commits suicide?
thats just an opportunity to go shop for a younger, prettier one.
whats sick is that you want a 3d

>>21532
>whats sick is that you want a 3d
First off, the desire for companionship or to at least mate is a fairly deep rooted instinct in the average human. You can not simply expect someone to forgo something like that so easily.

Secondly, it would seem you over looked the part of my post in which I said.
>Personally I can't stand men or women and just want to get a realdoll when I move out.
In case that statement wasn't enough, to clarify I'll have you know I have a disorder that makes it physically impossible for me to ever 'want a 3d'.


To answer the OP question, no.
In years past I have been tempted to buy into the prospect of companionship with another individual after convincement it was essential for personal fulfillment, however in exploring the matter I soon discovered it was highly inappropriate and counter productive for my needs. Friends, family, and media will propagate propaganda claiming in order to be content a 3dpd is required. This may ring true for the average individual, but in my particular experience over many years I have been nothing short of disgusted and horrified by examples of 'spiritual union's, which apparently have a high probability of failing. This is in addition to being afflicted with a disorder which inhibits proper processing of emotions, Essentially disabling any possible desire for championship I might otherwise have. With that said I find the endeavor illogical, impractical, uninteresting, needlessly challenging with disproportionately low compensation and as such is something I wish to never partake in. oh an cuz dem bitchs aint kawaii like mai waifu.

Hasn't for a couple of years now.

No. There's plenty of distraction everywhere.

In fact, even companionship or work/"success" and such are but distractions. The truth is, we are always going to be alone and will die alone regardless of who we are, how much we have, and who we know. Certainly I think there's meaning and comfort in sharing experiences with people, and that's what we're doing on this site, but at the end of it all, life is something you go through by yourself--despite being influenced by countless others, ultimately solipsistic.

Life and legacy and sharing these moments should not be limited to really tired and arbitrary conventions of heteronormative romantic relationships. Life isn't a movie. I suggest broadening what a meaningful relationship entails. The key is to enjoy the ride, and for most people, that's distraction, either with others or with yourself, it's up to you.

No.

Nope. I started coming to terms with it back in my late teens. At this point, I'm quite comfortable with it, and even enjoy the positive benefits it offers.

>>21529
>>21530
I'd have to disagree here. While I do dislike humans as a whole, American women are notoriously the worst of the bunch, rabidly feminist and self-entitled/egotistical to such an extreme degree that it always feels like they're walking parodies even though they're 100% serious.

>>21541
>American women are notoriously the worst of the bunch
I've lived in the UK and Australia and would have to say all anglophone countries are equally bad.

>>21543
We need to be careful with these generalizations. Yes, there are pretty awful people from both sexes and different stereotypes over the world but this shouldn't spoil the bunch.

There are bitches and whores who even take pride in saying they ARE bitches, i'm talking about young adult females here. This is just sad but if it's what some women want, then let them be, certainly not the kind of women i'd go after. There's also the known gold diggers from the east, who would suck the dumb 'pure eastern women' western gaijin dry and them move on to greener pastures.

Being fair, there are scum on our side as well, like some pump&dump boys and the known eastern pedophiles, thing that is imbued in their culture but still doesn't help in their favor, there's also the small dick inferiority complex.
Despite knowing all of this, western women still flock to them.

Knowing the percentage of meeting a decent person these days is so small, the realization that i may be alone for the rest of my life doesn't bother me. I'd rather suffer in small doses then experience the pain of lending my heart to one of those people.

>>21543
Fair enough. I've heard pretty terrible things about feminism in those two particular regions (as well as Canada), so I wouldn't doubt it.

>>21544
The problem is, with young women in these countries, it isn't just some "generalization" or "stereotype". Culturally, girls are taught to be entitled and inherently believe that their lives have more value than their male counterparts. Feminist ideology is so deeply rooted in modern culture that even most young males comply with it. Simply pointing out that every rule has an exception does not change that. You wouldn't say that "turtles have one head" is a generalization because two-headed turtles are born once in a blue moon, would you?

if I can stay in my room forever it's just fine if not I think society will push me to the edge again and suffer the consequences.

>>21511
Even if I didn't knew anyone for the rest of my life, I'd still have you guys around, so I'm never going to be alone!

Not at the moment, but im only 27 so what the fuck do I know. Things might get far worse in the future and reading about anons in their late 30s who like me were not bothered by the prospect of a life of solitude are now literally going insane.

Now I've gone entire months with no contact with the exterior world other than my parents (and I only interchange a couple of yes and no's at best) and by that im including no internet and no anime, no external influences that could negatively alter and distract my mind and I just feel fine I think, I use these periods of time to read til my eyes bleed or work on other small projects by the way so im not entirely unnocupied like in my early days of neetdom. If I could follow this routine forever I think I would be fine because I can avoid indefinitely the crushing reality of my solitude, but the problem is: I can't. When they die, which isn't far from now and they're poorfucks like myself so no inhiretance to live from, bills will needs to be paid by myself and that means getting back into the real world. My fear is that the longer im exposed to the real world and damaging media that won't stop trying to drill into my head all those happy couples, friends and families through advertisement and day to day life the more 'damaged' my mind will be. It's easy to say ignore it but really that shit is everywhere, gets drilled into your brain all the time because humans are social animals, something I agree with but I question whether we absolutely need to be social in order to lead decent lifes. The fact true hermits exist, albeit rare, makes me think I can indeed adapt to absolute solitude, but it looks like its a case of all or nothing.

Oboete imasu ka?
Me to me ga atta toki wo
Oboete imasu ka?
Te to te ga fureatta toki
Sore wa hajimete no
Ai no tabidachi deshita

I love you so...

Mou hitoribotchi ja nai
Anata ga iru kara...

Mou hitoribotchi ja nai
Anata ga iru kara...

>>21581
I'd pick Romaji over Engrish any day.

>>21577
>by that im including no internet and no anime, no external influences that could negatively alter and distract my mind and I just feel fine I think
I can relate, I find myself coming even here barely. Do you have any plans whatsoever, no matter how small they may seem? Have you tried making any friends online in the past? I probably would but i'm not interested in vidya anymore and i'm not sure how i'd meet people(or if I would even want to) with similar interest for books and music.

>>21523
I'm not comfortable enough with myself to even entertain the idea of having sex with the trashiest tranty out there.

I struggled with this for a little while largely due to peer pressure one has to deal with from friends, family, the media, and so on. While part of me did and even still does find the prospect of being with someone appealing, the reality of doing so would always scare the shit out of me. I'd repeatedly lead people on only to push them away when they would actually want to start a relationship. All the while I'd avoid looking at people and project a 2D mental image of the person or not thinking about what they look like at all, sometimes blocking avatars and photos as need be. Didn't help that the closer I would get to someone the more I'd think about my waifu and how it's her I really want to be with not this other person. I wouldn't even think of them as people half the time, more like NPCs. The experience only served to reinforce what I already knew all along; my waifu is perfect for me. I get the benefits of having someone to direct my feelings towards, without any of the drawbacks of dealing with a real person. I'm too attached to her to ever let go, and I'm too repulsed by 3dpd to ever give them a chance. I only ever had a 3DPD once in my life nearly a decade ago, and it didn't last long because I found them repugnant. I hated it when they tried to touch me, in fact I hate it when anyone touches me. Even talking to people is a chore and is something I'm only comfortable doing with a barrier, such as a phone or keyboard.
I love being alone, it's only then when I can be truly happy. Being alone is relaxing, it's peaceful, it's freeing. Being around people is stressful, and the idea of living with some random stranger for the rest of my life is something I can't imagine doing. I want peace and quiet, to do what I want when I want how I want. I don't want to answer to anyone or worry about anyone.
I'm not scared of dying alone, I want to die alone.

Not too much, I accepted my fate of dying alone ever since I got sick - since I had a physical deformity and shat around everywhere, and still do. It's not the kind of thing that makes you suitable for marriage when you're younger than 70 years old.

I'd die alone even if I were employed or educated, unless disgusting scat fetishism reached mainstream popularity.

>>21696
You fool.
People love with the heart.
Anything else is propaganda.
False love sells.
True love is given away.

Hell no

Why should I care if I'm alone?
I've been alone all my life.
I don't need a wife or kids or anyone.



Goddamnit, u'know guys it might be the scotch talkinging but let me tell you.

I'd like to say I don't care but I do. Sometimes it scares me thst I'll end up alone, but Sometimes I'm glad. Since I started working I've gained alot of confidence but at my core I am still the same man. I try hard every day as a Construction labourer and I have good friends but I feel like they will never know who the real me is. It's not like I can discuss vidya or anime with my coworkers. I put up a fake shell as a backwoods hillbilly but all I want to do Is listen to ero voice cds and lurk /jp/ snd /pol/. I Sometimes wish I could have been born 200 years ago when times were better. I wish I could have lived a life as a simple farmer. Instead I'm trying to live up to my grandfather's name as a Construction worker.

So yes I'm afraid of dying alone. I'm agraid I won't have a shoulder to cry on when I'm older. I'm afraid I might forget Who I an. I am afraid I'll forget the fun times I've shared with other anons.

I just wish You well brothers. Keep your chins up. We may never have met, maybe only in passing, but I don't think we'll die alone. We have each other after all. It's not much but it's something. Maybe that's enough for us to carry on.

It does, it bothers me very much. It bothers me every night because I know that I won't ever know what it feels like to have the arms of a lover around me or wrap my own around a lover. I won't have the loving relationship that I and many normals fantasize so much about, the difference being that they experience many relationships and so get to complain about them frequently, I haven't had one. I've never even gone on a date, I've never had a dance with anyone, I don't remember holding hands with anybody. Not a person I had a crush on, that is. I don't even have friends i real life either but I badly want some, I miss having friends but I'm just too difficult to be around for anybody to actually like me. So many things others enjoy that remain foreign to me. I'm pretty sure that when I kill myself my vision will fade to black without feeling the warmth of another person or even making eye contact with someone, nobody will even hear my last words. Just laying there, waiting to die with a note nearby. I wonder how long the corpse will go unnoticed, ha ha.

As you can tell, it upsets me very much to know that it will end like that, I'm not happy about it at all. Unlike a lot of the users here I won't even have a husbando or a waifu to occupy my final thoughts.

It scares me.

I had a weird dream, I was in college again and I had friends, and I was happy.

Im sorry.

The only thing that really stops me from suicide is the fact that there's no way I can top the attempt in 4th grade, and I know I would have been better off dying that day. If I died that day, it would have made some sort of impact, helped people who were in my position (because no one cares if a teenager does it, but it would be tragic if a child did it), and best of all, everything that I fucked up wouldn't be fucked up because I wasn't there to fuck it up. I always think back to that moment when I'm in a shitty situation, thinking "I really should have done that public suicide attempt in 4th grade".

If I died now, no one would care, everyone would be sad for a bit and then talk about other things at my funeral as I never amounted to anything, not only that but my online presence would suddenly have been known and I would be remembered for cringeworthy shit I did on the internet, and my parents might become my "Internet defense force" after death.

>>21894
>my online presence would suddenly have been known
Why?

Actually, being alone for the rest of my life is kind of my dream. If I had $2 million in the bank I would happily live as a hermit in the most remote area with mail service and high speed internet I could find.

I always thought I would not care. But my dreams tell me otherwise. I frequently dream about the only friend I had in school (and that was many years ago).

>Does the prospect of being alone for the rest of your life bother you? Please be honest.

It bothers me, and it bothers me plenty. For one thing, I have a pressing urge to procreate. The possibility of having children and a wife to care and provide for is one of the major reasons that keep me going, even if some "enlightened" elements on a few peculiar internet sites will deride my very existence for it.
And even if this hope will never manifest, I still cherish the company of my parents and some of my siblings too much to dismiss them. I have had and continue to have heart-wrenching dreams of my mother and father dying that trouble me for days. Similarly for the siblings I love; if my sister were to be hurt in any way by someone - be it physically, mentally, financially, or in a relationship - I'd be livid. We had our disagreements, fiercely and cruelly so, when we both were teenagers, but that has passed. If someone were to hurt her now I'd avenge her threefold. She is my sister after all.
I deeply believe the fact that we could live out our sentiments so freely and cruelly and above all honestly when we were young is a big reason for why I feel for her as I do now, and I think she feels similarly, though possibly not as strongly.
The other beloved sibling I have is my younger brother, and I like to imagine that I've exerted a positive influence on him in some ways and could revert some of the ultimately negative influence from our older brother at least somewhat (I speak and judge from experience here). He will enter military service soon, and I wish him all the best, and while I believe this is something that he is truly fit for I can't help but worry for him, even if the chance of him truly suffering or being sent aboard during his two years is near zero.

>>21900
I dream relatively often about everyone in my old class including teachers. I don't think it has anything to do with me wanting to see them again because I don't really like them. I assume my brain just uses them for my dreams because I haven't had anything to do with other people except sometimes my mother for a long time now, so my brain doesn't have much of a variety of people it can use (I think there was one time when I dreamed about having a relationship with a girl I had never seen in my life, I couldn't remember how she looked after waking up, could also be that she didn't even have a face.)

>>21895
Parents would probably look at the computer and what not and see all of my shit, and probably think that I died because cyber bullying, when really, I'd probably just die because I know I'm useless and won't amount to anything in my life

I don't care about being alone, but I will have to get a job in the next few years.

I don't want to start a new thread for this:
Since years the only people I talk to are my relatives and I have a hard time finding the correct words when talking.
Is not normal to forget your native vocabulary when you don't talk much to others? What would you do to become better at talking?

It's not so much the loneliness itself, but the thought that it might drive me to lose my rather tenuous grip on reality.

>>21932

I've had to readjust to regular contact with non-relatives. The only way to relearn this stuff is to expose yourself to it- force yourself to talk to people on Skype (or wherever else you can find people who want to talk) regularly.

it used to, i think it still does, not as bad as it used to
i tried but when you let people in you're bound to get hurt, i'll just occupy myself with things that can't hurt me, like drawing

It creeps up on me every now and then. I don't need or want friends, but I do want love - an absolute, perfectly compatible love with another person or thing. Someone with whom to stand, alone against all.

I know it's stupid and impossible, at least insofar as 3D is concerned. When I'm able to distract myself in a 2D fantasy though, at least I can feel some comfort.

I'm okay with it. It's also absolutely gut wrenching to think that I'll never meet the girl from my dreams. I can't really explain it.