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23661 No. 23661 [Edit]
When hanging out with people, I try to talk, but most people just give rapid-fire responses to one another. Whenever I try to say anything, the conversation has already moved on, or nobody gave me enough time to say something. Sometimes, people even talk over me.

Yeah, I'm so quiet. Maybe if you gave me the opportunity to talk, you'd hear what I have to say!

It especially sucks when you're with 2 other people. At first, they try to include you in the conversation (even though they do the things I mentioned before). But eventually, they just give up on trying to talk to you, so you end up just being an observer to a conversation between two people.

Or sometimes people will put you on the spot and say "why are you so quiet?" What are you even supposed to say to that? What do they even expect you to say? That's like the one time people will stop talking and listen to you. But when you're put on the spot like that, it's hard to find something to say.

Anyone had any similar experiences?
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>> No. 23662 [Edit]
Usually when I am included in some conversation I only listen and rarely say things, seems only to be the natural thing to do, doesn't bother me. When I do have a thing to contribute it might come across as awkward/not as intended or late, so I suppose that does happen at times. Part of that might be me not paying attention enough though.

Post edited on 13th Jul 2018, 10:02pm
>> No. 23664 [Edit]
>>23661
That's what you get for hanging out with normals. Trampling over you verbally is Normaldry 101 and an easy way to establish social hierarchy. Asking someone "Why are you so quiet?" is a "corrective" punishment, letting you know you're behaving outside normals' conventions and that you should change that. It humiliating you is indeed the purpose. Normals generally can't stand silence and tranquillity because they're wired to be collectivists, so the thought of not engaging is alien to them.
>> No. 23666 [Edit]
Yeah, it really gets you a ton of shit. In my case I eventually learned to play the clown in attempt to get them off my case about it but they still see me as "off" and "different" so I'm still treated as the odd one out. If you've ever read No Longer Human it's sort of like that.

I don't like it though. It feels very draining and forced. Something about being so fake fucks with me once I'm alone again. Like I have multiple personalities or something.
>> No. 23667 [Edit]
>>23666
cool, I just got the ebook version of it and I'm gonna use Kindle Word Runner to speed read it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noZ3oTgeqYE
>> No. 23668 [Edit]
Happened to me all the time and that's why I hardly talked to anyone until high school really. That was when I met a guy that was actually willing to have lots of one on one conversations where I would fire off random questions and ideas, even though I still weirded most people out... Of course those days are long gone by now. That was also why I couldn't function at all in dumb workplace socials, I didn't even know whether they wanted my opinion and no one really asked for anything. They moved from topics so quickly either so it seemed meaningless.
>> No. 23669 [Edit]
>>23666
I wrote >>23667
I finished reading No Longer Human. Thanks again for the suggestion. It was a good book.

I could relate to feeling different from other people (in a bad way), but not so much the clown/entertainer part. The thing about compliments seeming disingenuous also resonated with me.

The author also had better luck with women than me, but in many other ways, it seemed a lot like my own life. I could relate to the un-person feeling, and the drug and alcohol issues. College, suicidal thoughts, and things like that too.

Despite being written such a long time ago, I feel like the social issues he mentioned are more relevant now than in the past. Kinda prescient. I think today, his attitude would be referred to as imposter syndrome, coupled with depression too.

It was a compelling read and I read it start to finish in one sitting.
>> No. 23694 [Edit]
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23694
>"why are you so quiet?"
The last time I was asked this I was in college, my reply was a calm "There is nothing to be said", oddly enough they seemed to agree in a way, like they understood for a moment the futility of it all and the meaningless of their babble. I don't think im exagerating when I say the vast majority of people have absolutely nothing of value to say, while the listener lacks the bases to understand anything beyond pointless drivel and pop culture.
>> No. 23696 [Edit]
>>23694
Not all conversations have to be deep and meaningful though. Sometimes talking is more about passing time and getting to know someone.

Sometimes you have to pretend to laugh at someone's jokes or ask questions about someone's day to show that you care about them. Talking, even about seemingly useless stuff, is important for building or maintaining relationships, and so on and so forth.

That being said, it can be hard sometimes.
>> No. 23697 [Edit]
>>23661
Yeah? They invited me to their conversation because they thought I was shy and quiet and that I needed to "get out of my shell" so they kept on blabbering, trying to get me out of my 'shell'. I didn't say anything because they were talking about really boring stuff, but then one of them was like "Why are you so quiet?" and I just stood there confused, I didn't know what to say. From that day, I avoided hanging out with people who were up to no good.
>> No. 23698 [Edit]
My only real offline social interaction is work, where I have a reputation apparently for being "the quite one". I can be chatty and talkative online because it comes to me more easily and feels more natural to me somehow. It's a lot easier to follow the flow of a conversation when people are essentially taking turns talking, rather than talking over each other as they do offline and cut each other off every opportunity they get. It's pretty annoying to hear someone ramble on while asking a question I was just about to answer before they cut me off. It's just hard in general talking offline. You're expected to be witty and clever or at lest contribute something of worth to the conversation while thinking of what to say with only a second or two of time to do it in. I just don't get how people do it.
>> No. 23706 [Edit]
>>23664
i'm introverted as hell but people like you are so fucking annoying. whining about how people won't talk to you and then talking about them like they're one collective hivemind
>> No. 23707 [Edit]
>>23706
>whining about how people won't talk to you
Point out to me immediately where I complained about people not wanting to talk to me.
>and then talking about them like they're one collective hivemind
A collectivist society is not equal to a collective hivemind, maybe you should get up, look in a mirror and tell yourself "Stop being a retard and acquire reading comprehension".
>i'm introverted as hell
[x] Doubt.
>> No. 23709 [Edit]
Today I was talking to someone it was clear that they didn't understand what I was talking about, and they proceeded to explain something really simple that I already know. I just gave up trying to continue talking about it after that, since it was clear that nothing I said was getting through.
>> No. 23712 [Edit]
I'm the loud one who annoys others with my useless talking.

No really. I very rarely meet people who only discuss boring stuff I'm not interested in. Maybe I'm interested in to many things.

I only noticed that people always change topics when you have something interesting to tell but I think that's a point of few thing, maybe I did often enough switch to topic to something I wanted to talk about.

Maybe I just was luck mostly meeting people I want to talk to.
>> No. 23713 [Edit]
>>23709
That's the worst and it's almost never by people who actually understand what they're trying to baby you on either. It'd be a lot less annoying if the people who acted that way actually had a reason to, but sometimes people try it and even condescend with an incorrect understanding of said basic principle.

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