NEET is not a label, it's a way of life!
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24294 No. 24294 [Edit]
Do you know what I find annoying? People who complain about being lonely without knowing what it's really like to be alone and take what they have for granted. Maybe they broke up a while back or are just going some time without seeing their friends, these people don't know what it's like to be truly alone. They almost certainly have someone there, siblings or friend or a parent, anything. They have people they can talk to if need be, people who will be there for them. They don't know what it's like to never have anyone.
The internet is my only social outlet, there's no one else in my life I can talk to. I can't even speak properly out loud because of how little practice I get, and it's such a bizarre experience if/when I actually do have a conversation with someone in person. Just being able to talk to someone is one of those rare things for me that normals take for granted. I feel like a ghost in this world, there but disconnected, observing other people as an outsider but unable to join them. I might as well not even be there as far as they've concerned. Even when I make online acquaintances, they never stick around long. I've learned to stop expecting anything from anyone. I still try all the same, to be friendly giving caring, but it never works for long. Their 'real' friends always take priority and win out. I can't even talk to anyone in my family. I have no brothers or sisters or cousins, only an abusive asshole of a father who I don't live with, my simple minded half deaf mother, and my insane uncle. I do still try with them, but it just ends up being a disappointing and frustrating experience each and every time. The real kicker here is that I don't even like being around people anyway. I like being alone and find humans annoying and obnoxious to deal with. I don't know if I'm lonely, or if I've just bought into the idea projected by society that everyone needs someone and not having someone is the worst most lonely thing possible. The times when I'm truly and completely alone without any humans around online or off are some of the most enjoyable moments for me. I feel like I'm just not cut out for intermingling with humans and trying to is a waste of time and effort, but I also find myself worrying in the back of my mind that maybe I've only gotten used to being alone and convinced myself that I enjoy it because I don't have much other option.

Can anyone else here relate?
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>> No. 24295 [Edit]
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After thinking about it for a bit, and I may be wrong about you due to not everyone being the same, but when you say the times you spend alone are some of the most enjoyable times you have, there may be a bit more to it than that. I like spending time alone too. It's great, sitting in your room alone, completely quiet with nobody around at all, with no distractions from others while everything is calm except maybe with the fan noises from your pc or something. However, I think that given the right circumstances talking to people can be just as good on the opposite end of the spectrum, you can enjoy both is what I mean. Of course this is hard to come by people you can talk like that with and enjoy to such an extent, even if you do find folks to talk with online they won't likely be nearby physically. I think I'm lucky enough as is with those I can talk to now, even though I can only really talk to people online. I live alone, though sometimes talk with my brother on steam and have met a couple people online I could call friends although often with people you meet online things can dry up even if you really try. Talking with people in person in any meaningful way is hard to come by, and like you I can get by just fine because being alone is enjoyable as is, but I don't think it would be so bad to have a friend you could talk to in person even if it's only once a week or something. Is what it is.
>> No. 24338 [Edit]
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I am lucky enough to still have my parents. But, I sort of agree, I am at a crossroads of becoming a fullblown hikki. I have been trying more and more to socialize online but I have been finding that difficult. A lot of the interests I have are overrun with children and I don't really blame them for not wanting to talk/be friends with me, I just find them somewhat obnoxious in an odd way if that makes sense. I guess it's a sign of maturity that I've realized it's not society or anything, it's me.
I know how you feel, I find it even more hard to make friends online because most of the sites I use are anonymous or about some set topic and I just prefer to lurk. It is fitting for a hikki like me.
I am hoping that the TC IRC will have some people I can be friends with, if I become more active. Maybe I should try MMOs, again.
>> No. 24342 [Edit]
Does anyone else just feel disconnected from 90% of humanity? I could talk to one hundred people in a day and receive one reply on this website, and I would get more of a meaningful conversation out of that simple fucking reply than any of the people I had talked to that day. This is one reason I began to isolate myself because I just can't relate to most people. And now that the internet is being overrun with these same people, I'm running out of people to talk to. I suppose I was just meant for complete solitude.
>> No. 24343 [Edit]
Yeah I can't talk to other people not because of a superiority complex or anything but because I feel like a fucking alien, people accept working and socializing like it's nothing and I'm completely helpless. Even though loneliness should be easier to alleviate than ever I can't get to the point where conversations feel substantial or where I can just click with people, even as acquaintances. Maybe I'm just shy. When I tell my mom/therapist that I can't talk to people, they say "But you're talking to me right now" but I can't move past baseline interactions. It's like every interaction is about as meaningful and interesting as saying "hi" to a cashier.
>> No. 24346 [Edit]
Yes. People tend to be quite vulgar and simple so I don't like dealing with them. I also have very little in common to talk to them about anyway, even if I do have something in common because of how simple they are they only have a simple understanding of it, I don't gain anything from talking to them.
>> No. 24347 [Edit]
I lived by myself for several years while working graveyard. I think people who say they like being alone don’t understand the psychological impact of having another person in the same house or next room, even if you never speak to them. To feel truly disconnected is literal torture. That’s why we put prisoners in solitary confinement when they display bad behavior.

A pet helps though. That’s why there are cat ladies.
>> No. 24348 [Edit]
I've lived alone for over 3 years now in various places, never have I experienced extreme loneliness due to it.
>> No. 24452 [Edit]
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Honestly, I don't know what "real" loneliness is. I've been a hikki/neet going on a decade now, and for most of that posting ever now and then on anonymous imageboards has been the most social I've ever been. Still I've not really ever felt lonely during all this time. I may be really isolated, but I don't think I'll ever understand what it is to be really lonely.

>The times when I'm truly and completely alone without any humans around online or off are some of the most enjoyable moments for me.
Same, if I ever luck into actual money I'm gonna buy some backwoods property in the taiga and pray that I never see another human again.

>I don't know if I'm lonely, or if I've just bought into the idea projected by society that everyone needs someone and not having someone is the worst most lonely thing possible. [or] maybe I've only gotten used to being alone and convinced myself that I enjoy it because I don't have much other option.
If you avoid people and the subtle brainwashing of media for a while, and you're desire to be around people fades, it's probably the former. If it gets worse, then it's probably the later.
>> No. 24454 [Edit]
This whole topic became more and more confusing to me in recent years.
I've always been a loner but I am fortunate enough that my parents never kicked me out of the house but I still felt socially isolated with no friends or romantic experiences.
So for the longest time I've pretended that I didn't need others, that being alone was part of me and friendship or relationships were unnecessary. That was a bad mistake.

Recently, confronted by reality and very "late" in my life I finally started seeking out other people and it's a daunting task, it takes a lot of effort and time but with small successes I hope to keep motivated. I no longer want act like I lost before the game has been played.
True loneliness? Maybe not but it's a tough struggle and I want to overcome it.
>> No. 24455 [Edit]
I find it odd that a community full of people who heavily use technology feel largely isolated and lonely.
>> No. 24456 [Edit]
Just proves that the "everything is connected" line you hear from silicon valley is a bunch of crap.
>> No. 24457 [Edit]
Eh, I always thought that referred to Internet of Things devices rather than social media and internet communities, which has a lot of people also feeling isolated. I don’t know though.
>> No. 24459 [Edit]
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>Silicon valley
I thought that was lain kami-sama.

No matter where you are... Everyone is always connected
>> No. 24487 [Edit]
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Do any of you guys think you might be on the schizoid-avoidant spectrum? In broad strokes schizoids legitimately don't crave social interaction while avoidants crave them but can't bring themselves to manage them for one reason or another. At least that's the way I understand it. They seem rather linked in that once you've lived an avoidant life for long enough you get really good at being alone. I'm no shrink but this has been my own experience and I think it's the crux of the "it gets better" advice people bandy about. It doesn't really get any better, you just learn to cope better.

Back in the day I'd get all torn up over not having friends, not seen as being socially desirable, etc. Now I don't care. The funny thing is now people seem to like me better but my desire and willingness to "fit in" has dropped in tandem with this greater degree of social acceptance and so it feels like I haven't really gone anywhere. Less sadness, more melancholic acceptance I guess. Not sure how to describe it.
>> No. 24501 [Edit]
I know TC users have a lot of issues generally, but I don’t think the isolation that the userbase suffers from can all boiled down to simple personality disorders. While stuff like schizophrenia cannot be denied, it feels like a way to further isolate and victimize those who are different. Even though it’s statistically smaller than other illnesses, I sometimes wonder if the epidemic of depression and related conditions is just distaste of modern society and eventually the patients of these things will get so desperate that they will do anything for relief from misery.

Also, people who suffer from those personality disorders likely wouldn’t post on social websites, I knew a schizoid who only went a certain board because he liked to see gore threads and it was incredibly hard to get him to reply. Legitimate sufferers of these things could go the rest of their lives without seeing anyone else, Anonymous generally just sounds like an isolated, dispossessed and frustrated person.
>> No. 24502 [Edit]
I agree with your assessment to a fair degree. "Mental illness" has the rather nasty effect of being a scapegoat for the powers that be. We live in very unnatural environments but if you blame "mental illness" not only is the blame taken away from you it's actually put onto the victim of wider society. Said victim then identifies himself as the enemy rather than society as a whole. A masterful piece of covert social control.

The idea does have some merit. Such things do often keep people from living happy, fulfilling lives.

>Also, people who suffer from those personality disorders likely wouldn’t post on social websites
I think people suffering from it are probably the most drawn to anonymous imageboards. It's a lot easier to make a post when you don't have any sort of identity attached to it. As for tc specifically it'd help explain why the post rate is often so low. We just want to lurk and observe. I know I wanted to reply to this thread for months but struggled to do so until now.
>> No. 24521 [Edit]
As far as talking to normies, I've learned the bare minimum to facilitate conversations at stores and work (which I doubt will lead me much farther) and such, but for most of the rest of the day I'm quiet. Often I replay conversations in my head from years back, it might help keep me sane. I technically have an online contact here and there, but no one proactively reaches out to me. As a kid I think books and imagination alongside video games served as decent companions.
>> No. 24523 [Edit]
I have my family and an online friend or two, I guess I'm more alone than any normalfag could handle but I'm still not on the same level of total isolation. It's weird, and personally I wish I was more alone. I hate human socialization.
>> No. 24531 [Edit]
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I can barely watch anime where friendships are displayed heavily without breaking down and crying. I wonder if there's even a way out for people as far gone as me and others like me.
>> No. 24532 [Edit]
I have to admit, it’s kind of odd/amusing that people are talking to each-other on an Internet forum about loneliness.
>> No. 24584 [Edit]
how old are you cutey
>> No. 24585 [Edit]
I think that's par for the course. Talking like this is a lot easier than talking to people in person.

>> No. 24628 [Edit]
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Brings back memories of watching Haruhi and crying when they go to the festival with all their friends. At one point I used to feel depressed hearing a nice OST as I wasn't talented on top
>> No. 24677 [Edit]
It seems to me like you'd like to interact with people, but you just don't have anyone you can actually relate to.
>> No. 24787 [Edit]
i feel like this a lot of the time. i dont have anywhere i fit in, not irl and not in the internet. i dont care much about going outside and being social but on the internet i still feel like an outcast in my friend group, like the awkward annoying kid who everybody puts up with but the older kids still allow him to hang out with them because they feel bad for how dumb he is and nobody wants to be the one to tell him that he isnt welcome

and thats the part that really hurts
>> No. 24788 [Edit]
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I think it's a paradoxical situation; his best moments are while being alone, but at the same time he feels lonely from time to time (usually when there's "people" around, I suspect).

I think the problem is a matter of expectations vs reality. You miss an ideal, a deep, meaningful relation (like the ones from fiction), while social relations are banal and boring.
So you end isolating yourself and being sour about it because you still have in your mind something you think you are missing. Or you try to force yourself and do what you are supposed to do to end terribly disappointed and sour too.
It's a dilemma that can't be solved and it can be applied to other aspects of life. For me I take the first option since at least it's less of a bother.
>> No. 24894 [Edit]
i cant say im experiencing /true/ loneliness yet but im on my way there.i have no real friends, i dont belong anywhere irl or online. im different from anybody i talk to or message and they can tell. I'll try to keep a conversation going sometimes or muster up the courage to message somebody to see if i can maybe just make a hair more progress towards becoming friends with them, but the conversations are dull smalltalk and generally just awkward, they only reply to me or carry on out of courtesy. either that or dont reply entirely

I'm on the path to loneliness, i can only hope that ill be stoic enough in the end to endure it. at least ill have my waifu
>> No. 24900 [Edit]
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Don't be afraid, once you're there is not as bad as they made you think. I think people like us get depressed when lonely because they have made us think we are supposed to feel like that, but if we can free ourselves from that mindset it's just fine.
>> No. 24971 [Edit]

Both of these seem quite correct.
Personally, I can't socialize spontaneously and interact with others without a clear purpose or justification. I'm that guy who gets along with everyone and is respected for what he's worth but could go missing and nobody would care much.
Work. It sounds like coming from a wagenetorare but it really helped me socializing a tad bit more so as to not feel so lonely. Work related matters are a bridge to relate to just about anyone employed and trying to make a living, even if sometimes they're uninteresting, but it feeds the need. Commuting everyday along with the rest of the world also helps with the feeling that you're part of something bigger.
>> No. 24972 [Edit]
This has been my attitude for the longest time, but I have recently found myself craving the company of others more and more. That is to say, interacting with people from work has revealed to me how pleasant it can be to have someone to lean on, but it is like a cursed oasis that makes you more thirsty the more you try to drink from it. Getting a small taste of what I have been missing out on my whole life has been an awful experience so far - one where I begin to crave something I never did before, and I probably would have been happier in the long-term if I had simply kept to myself. Now my situation is similar to >>24894, where others put up with me just enough for me to be mildly comforted, but never so much that they would actually be my friend.
In a general sense, I also do not feel cut out for being around others; I almost never enjoy the things normals do for fun together, nor do I appreciate being in the company of others in the same way they do. Yet, it seems like these rituals are ubiquitous enough that even getting to know the nicer ones necessitates it. I mourn that I crave the friendship of such people since I realize they will never reciprocate my appreciation; in this regard, I think the "real loneliness" I had partaken in before going to work is a much more comfortable and stable state overall.

I wish I could have one or two friends without needing to participate in the rat race, but this is evidently an unrealistic and Utopian dream.
>> No. 24989 [Edit]
>I wish I could have one or two friends without needing to participate in the rat race
I'll be your friend but im a really shitty friend
>> No. 24993 [Edit]
I appreciate the offer. You're in good company; I am also a pretty awful friend. As I alluded to in the other post, all the things that friends do together fail to come naturally to me. That's probably why nobody has ever wanted anything to do with me: I'm just too lackluster and boring to be anyone's friend.

It is probably better for everyone this way in the long run, since I won't be a bother to anyone and I'll eventually settle back into the calm stability of isolation again.
>> No. 24994 [Edit]
Truth is, adults don't have friends. If something, couples have friend couples.
It's the shocking truth. The normalfag world isn't about friendship, it's about social relations and that's a completely different thing. Children have friends, not adults.
>> No. 24995 [Edit]
From what I've seen of my parents, adults will sometimes call the people they were friends with in school or their work buddies. They occasionally visit each other's house too.
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