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24294 No. 24294 [Edit]
Do you know what I find annoying? People who complain about being lonely without knowing what it's really like to be alone and take what they have for granted. Maybe they broke up a while back or are just going some time without seeing their friends, these people don't know what it's like to be truly alone. They almost certainly have someone there, siblings or friend or a parent, anything. They have people they can talk to if need be, people who will be there for them. They don't know what it's like to never have anyone.
The internet is my only social outlet, there's no one else in my life I can talk to. I can't even speak properly out loud because of how little practice I get, and it's such a bizarre experience if/when I actually do have a conversation with someone in person. Just being able to talk to someone is one of those rare things for me that normals take for granted. I feel like a ghost in this world, there but disconnected, observing other people as an outsider but unable to join them. I might as well not even be there as far as they've concerned. Even when I make online acquaintances, they never stick around long. I've learned to stop expecting anything from anyone. I still try all the same, to be friendly giving caring, but it never works for long. Their 'real' friends always take priority and win out. I can't even talk to anyone in my family. I have no brothers or sisters or cousins, only an abusive asshole of a father who I don't live with, my simple minded half deaf mother, and my insane uncle. I do still try with them, but it just ends up being a disappointing and frustrating experience each and every time. The real kicker here is that I don't even like being around people anyway. I like being alone and find humans annoying and obnoxious to deal with. I don't know if I'm lonely, or if I've just bought into the idea projected by society that everyone needs someone and not having someone is the worst most lonely thing possible. The times when I'm truly and completely alone without any humans around online or off are some of the most enjoyable moments for me. I feel like I'm just not cut out for intermingling with humans and trying to is a waste of time and effort, but I also find myself worrying in the back of my mind that maybe I've only gotten used to being alone and convinced myself that I enjoy it because I don't have much other option.

Can anyone else here relate?
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>> No. 24295 [Edit]
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24295
After thinking about it for a bit, and I may be wrong about you due to not everyone being the same, but when you say the times you spend alone are some of the most enjoyable times you have, there may be a bit more to it than that. I like spending time alone too. It's great, sitting in your room alone, completely quiet with nobody around at all, with no distractions from others while everything is calm except maybe with the fan noises from your pc or something. However, I think that given the right circumstances talking to people can be just as good on the opposite end of the spectrum, you can enjoy both is what I mean. Of course this is hard to come by people you can talk like that with and enjoy to such an extent, even if you do find folks to talk with online they won't likely be nearby physically. I think I'm lucky enough as is with those I can talk to now, even though I can only really talk to people online. I live alone, though sometimes talk with my brother on steam and have met a couple people online I could call friends although often with people you meet online things can dry up even if you really try. Talking with people in person in any meaningful way is hard to come by, and like you I can get by just fine because being alone is enjoyable as is, but I don't think it would be so bad to have a friend you could talk to in person even if it's only once a week or something. Is what it is.
>> No. 24338 [Edit]
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24338
I am lucky enough to still have my parents. But, I sort of agree, I am at a crossroads of becoming a fullblown hikki. I have been trying more and more to socialize online but I have been finding that difficult. A lot of the interests I have are overrun with children and I don't really blame them for not wanting to talk/be friends with me, I just find them somewhat obnoxious in an odd way if that makes sense. I guess it's a sign of maturity that I've realized it's not society or anything, it's me.
I know how you feel, I find it even more hard to make friends online because most of the sites I use are anonymous or about some set topic and I just prefer to lurk. It is fitting for a hikki like me.
I am hoping that the TC IRC will have some people I can be friends with, if I become more active. Maybe I should try MMOs, again.
>> No. 24342 [Edit]
Does anyone else just feel disconnected from 90% of humanity? I could talk to one hundred people in a day and receive one reply on this website, and I would get more of a meaningful conversation out of that simple fucking reply than any of the people I had talked to that day. This is one reason I began to isolate myself because I just can't relate to most people. And now that the internet is being overrun with these same people, I'm running out of people to talk to. I suppose I was just meant for complete solitude.
>> No. 24343 [Edit]
>>24342
Yeah I can't talk to other people not because of a superiority complex or anything but because I feel like a fucking alien, people accept working and socializing like it's nothing and I'm completely helpless. Even though loneliness should be easier to alleviate than ever I can't get to the point where conversations feel substantial or where I can just click with people, even as acquaintances. Maybe I'm just shy. When I tell my mom/therapist that I can't talk to people, they say "But you're talking to me right now" but I can't move past baseline interactions. It's like every interaction is about as meaningful and interesting as saying "hi" to a cashier.
>> No. 24346 [Edit]
>>24342
Yes. People tend to be quite vulgar and simple so I don't like dealing with them. I also have very little in common to talk to them about anyway, even if I do have something in common because of how simple they are they only have a simple understanding of it, I don't gain anything from talking to them.
>> No. 24347 [Edit]
I lived by myself for several years while working graveyard. I think people who say they like being alone don’t understand the psychological impact of having another person in the same house or next room, even if you never speak to them. To feel truly disconnected is literal torture. That’s why we put prisoners in solitary confinement when they display bad behavior.

A pet helps though. That’s why there are cat ladies.
>> No. 24348 [Edit]
>>24347
I've lived alone for over 3 years now in various places, never have I experienced extreme loneliness due to it.
>> No. 24452 [Edit]
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24452
Honestly, I don't know what "real" loneliness is. I've been a hikki/neet going on a decade now, and for most of that posting ever now and then on anonymous imageboards has been the most social I've ever been. Still I've not really ever felt lonely during all this time. I may be really isolated, but I don't think I'll ever understand what it is to be really lonely.

>The times when I'm truly and completely alone without any humans around online or off are some of the most enjoyable moments for me.
Same, if I ever luck into actual money I'm gonna buy some backwoods property in the taiga and pray that I never see another human again.

>I don't know if I'm lonely, or if I've just bought into the idea projected by society that everyone needs someone and not having someone is the worst most lonely thing possible. [or] maybe I've only gotten used to being alone and convinced myself that I enjoy it because I don't have much other option.
If you avoid people and the subtle brainwashing of media for a while, and you're desire to be around people fades, it's probably the former. If it gets worse, then it's probably the later.
>> No. 24454 [Edit]
This whole topic became more and more confusing to me in recent years.
I've always been a loner but I am fortunate enough that my parents never kicked me out of the house but I still felt socially isolated with no friends or romantic experiences.
So for the longest time I've pretended that I didn't need others, that being alone was part of me and friendship or relationships were unnecessary. That was a bad mistake.

Recently, confronted by reality and very "late" in my life I finally started seeking out other people and it's a daunting task, it takes a lot of effort and time but with small successes I hope to keep motivated. I no longer want act like I lost before the game has been played.
True loneliness? Maybe not but it's a tough struggle and I want to overcome it.
>> No. 24455 [Edit]
I find it odd that a community full of people who heavily use technology feel largely isolated and lonely.
>> No. 24456 [Edit]
>>24455
Just proves that the "everything is connected" line you hear from silicon valley is a bunch of crap.
>> No. 24457 [Edit]
>>24456
Eh, I always thought that referred to Internet of Things devices rather than social media and internet communities, which has a lot of people also feeling isolated. I don’t know though.
>> No. 24459 [Edit]
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24459
>>24456
>Silicon valley
I thought that was lain kami-sama.


No matter where you are... Everyone is always connected
>> No. 24487 [Edit]
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24487
Do any of you guys think you might be on the schizoid-avoidant spectrum? In broad strokes schizoids legitimately don't crave social interaction while avoidants crave them but can't bring themselves to manage them for one reason or another. At least that's the way I understand it. They seem rather linked in that once you've lived an avoidant life for long enough you get really good at being alone. I'm no shrink but this has been my own experience and I think it's the crux of the "it gets better" advice people bandy about. It doesn't really get any better, you just learn to cope better.

Back in the day I'd get all torn up over not having friends, not seen as being socially desirable, etc. Now I don't care. The funny thing is now people seem to like me better but my desire and willingness to "fit in" has dropped in tandem with this greater degree of social acceptance and so it feels like I haven't really gone anywhere. Less sadness, more melancholic acceptance I guess. Not sure how to describe it.
>> No. 24501 [Edit]
>>24487
I know TC users have a lot of issues generally, but I don’t think the isolation that the userbase suffers from can all boiled down to simple personality disorders. While stuff like schizophrenia cannot be denied, it feels like a way to further isolate and victimize those who are different. Even though it’s statistically smaller than other illnesses, I sometimes wonder if the epidemic of depression and related conditions is just distaste of modern society and eventually the patients of these things will get so desperate that they will do anything for relief from misery.

Also, people who suffer from those personality disorders likely wouldn’t post on social websites, I knew a schizoid who only went a certain board because he liked to see gore threads and it was incredibly hard to get him to reply. Legitimate sufferers of these things could go the rest of their lives without seeing anyone else, Anonymous generally just sounds like an isolated, dispossessed and frustrated person.
>> No. 24502 [Edit]
>>24501
I agree with your assessment to a fair degree. "Mental illness" has the rather nasty effect of being a scapegoat for the powers that be. We live in very unnatural environments but if you blame "mental illness" not only is the blame taken away from you it's actually put onto the victim of wider society. Said victim then identifies himself as the enemy rather than society as a whole. A masterful piece of covert social control.

The idea does have some merit. Such things do often keep people from living happy, fulfilling lives.

>Also, people who suffer from those personality disorders likely wouldn’t post on social websites
I think people suffering from it are probably the most drawn to anonymous imageboards. It's a lot easier to make a post when you don't have any sort of identity attached to it. As for tc specifically it'd help explain why the post rate is often so low. We just want to lurk and observe. I know I wanted to reply to this thread for months but struggled to do so until now.
>> No. 24521 [Edit]
As far as talking to normies, I've learned the bare minimum to facilitate conversations at stores and work (which I doubt will lead me much farther) and such, but for most of the rest of the day I'm quiet. Often I replay conversations in my head from years back, it might help keep me sane. I technically have an online contact here and there, but no one proactively reaches out to me. As a kid I think books and imagination alongside video games served as decent companions.
>> No. 24523 [Edit]
I have my family and an online friend or two, I guess I'm more alone than any normalfag could handle but I'm still not on the same level of total isolation. It's weird, and personally I wish I was more alone. I hate human socialization.
>> No. 24531 [Edit]
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24531
I can barely watch anime where friendships are displayed heavily without breaking down and crying. I wonder if there's even a way out for people as far gone as me and others like me.
>> No. 24532 [Edit]
I have to admit, it’s kind of odd/amusing that people are talking to each-other on an Internet forum about loneliness.
>> No. 24584 [Edit]
how old are you cutey
>> No. 24585 [Edit]
>>24532
I think that's par for the course. Talking like this is a lot easier than talking to people in person.

>>24584
31
>> No. 24628 [Edit]
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24628
Brings back memories of watching Haruhi and crying when they go to the festival with all their friends. At one point I used to feel depressed hearing a nice OST as I wasn't talented on top

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