NEET is not a label, it's a way of life!
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23723 No. 23723 [Edit]
Did anyone else have a sort of normal life and then spiral into NEETdom and so on?

I was living fairly well, had lots of friends, even had a few 3DPDs. Then crippling depression and anxiety kicked in during my first year of college and you know the rest.

Refrain from mentioned your disgusting 3DPD love-life, nobody cares.
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>> No. 23724 [Edit]
My downward spiral started when I moved to high school at the age of 11, it never recovered (life is slightly better than when I was 18-19 though, I'm 22 now).
>> No. 23725 [Edit]
Maybe not exactly "normal" but I at least tried to be friendly with people at my first job. I had an asshole of a best friend, and met a disgusting girl who talked me into going on my first date with her. It was as close to normal as I ever got. I cut ties with the friend, never had a second date, lost the job, and buried myself in the world of anime and internet culture. A few years of being a wage slave latter I got into a heated argument with a typical soccer mom 3dpd at my job, lost the job because of it, and lost my marbles along with it. I went into hikikomori mode for a few years after that happened.
>> No. 23726 [Edit]
Once upon a time, I was normal and happy, just like everyone else. I had a future, an education, a life, had friends, and had all the support I could possibly recieve to do my best. But all that turned upside-down when I realized that I was destroying my health by the stress and pressure that was being put on me by everyone else. I tried to minimize the stress, but I would always get critisized. One day, I had too much stress to bear, which lead to an awful and tragic event! I had a breakdown due to all the stress that was being shoved on me, and finally, at that moment, I have decided that I've had it. I screwed everything up and cut off everyone that I knew, and never ever, went outside again.

The end.
>> No. 23729 [Edit]
I got sick of having to police myself around people so they wouldnt tell me to shut up about my nerdier interests, burned all bridges and went full shut in
>> No. 23731 [Edit]
My most "normal" period was high school, but even then it wasn't probably really that normal compared to the average norm. I just had a small group of friends to hang out with, decent grades and didn't spend all day in front of the computer.
It all went to shit when I graduated though.
>> No. 23732 [Edit]
>compared to the average norm
Serious question, do you think so-called normal people have perfect lives and you're the only one who struggles with problems? Maybe that's from a lack of empathy. It's easy to think you're so alone and unique and that everyone else is the same and not like you, but I think the reality is that everyone struggles with these things to some degree. Maybe not all with equal difficulty, but even so.

I think people on boards like this have a tendency to think that "normal" people are more successful and well-adjusted (and also mundane) than they really are.

What is normal, anyway? In America, certain things are considered normal. When I was in China, completely different things were considered normal. Normal means different things to different people.

Post edited on 14th Aug 2018, 5:29pm
>> No. 23733 [Edit]
Tohno-chan 2018
>> No. 23734 [Edit]
then why is our lives so shit?
>> No. 23735 [Edit]
Yous is but me isn't.
>> No. 23736 [Edit]
Better than tohno-chan 2017 at least.
>> No. 23737 [Edit]
I'll let you in on a secret, /so/ was originally created as a containment zone for the type of self-identified otakus who showed up in droves on English language imageboards a couple years after they'd become popular amongst the general public. This type of "otaku" is they type that is always talking about themselves and isn't interested in discussing much else, such as anime, which they don't watch. This board is a place for them to chat amongst themselves and woe is me endlessly without interfering with the rest of us and it works like magic, the only unfortunate part is that the feed from this board needs to be kept visible on the homepage because if it isn't the true otaku hiki neets of /so/ will feel ignored and start posting on the boards concerned with Japanese media instead of staying in their ghetto.
>> No. 23739 [Edit]
therapist asked me to define normal once, obviously there are normal people in different countries and societies

i feel normal people can be defined as being well adjusted to the society they live in and able to form bonds to others and have relationships/children (regardless of hobbies/interests/job)
>> No. 23740 [Edit]
I understand from where you're coming from, but it wasn’t ever my intention to imply that I was the only person with problems or going through hardships. I just wanted to illustrate that even at my most "normal" period (as in actually hanging out with friends, doing anything other than staying in my room) I still didn't do much compared to the average student in my country. Of course that doesn't mean that I was the only one who had a hard time or struggled.
Sorry if it came as condescending or anything, it wasn't really my intention.
>> No. 23742 [Edit]
Oh, look, a (failed) normal getting triggered. Everyone clap and nod.

If you have no concept of what normaldry entails. Then you're likely in the wrong site.
>> No. 23743 [Edit]
>I think people on boards like this have a tendency to think that "normal" people are more successful and well-adjusted (and also mundane) than they really are.
The time I've spent around them online and offline leads me to believe that this is true. More often than not normies appear to be very content. Things might not always be sunshine and rainbows for them, but they have far more ups than they do downs. It's mostly just the younger ones who like to bitch the most because nothing is ever good enough for them. Most of their complaining is petty bullshit too or passive bragging. It sickens me when these people complain to me about how boring casual sex has gotten, how dumb their boyfriend is, how clingy their 3DPD is ect. They whine about a scratch on their expensive new car or how their kids eat up all their free time. It's disgusting how they brag while disgusting it like complainants, and about things they choose to do too, not things forced onto them. This bitches keep claiming they're lonely and depressed after going two weeks without a boyfriend. How fucking spoiled do you have to be to think that's a valid complaint? Most normalfags don't know true loneliness, true isolation, hopelessness, or despair. They live carefree lives doing whatever they feel like then cry when the starbux guy got their name wrong.
Sure I've met normalfags who have it bad too with more valid things to complain about, but they almost always bring those issues onto themselves via their own care free attitudes towards life. Like women who casually sleep around then complain that they keep being used for just sex, Guys with no self respect who throw themselves at every women they meet and can't figure out what they're doing wrong after doing the same thing hundreds of times, Fat bitchy women who treat men like shit then complain no one loves them, People who get fucked up on drugs and alcohol, People who are poor because they can't stop wasting their money, and so on.
Normals generally have it good, they just like to bitch.

I'm pretty sure /so/ wasn't made as a containment board. I think that's just /ns/, /420/, and maybe /lol/. /so/ was here from the start, how can you can an original board a containment board?
>> No. 23744 [Edit]
>I'm pretty sure /so/ wasn't made as a containment board

it was specifically created to keep the r9k crowd from polluting the rest of the site
>> No. 23745 [Edit]
I think the issue is that you're comparing your true self to the outward self portrayed by other people, and you forget that other aspects of their lives exist.

On social media, people tend to only post positive things, even when negative things are going on in their life. You know your entire life story, but you only know their highlights. If you compare the two, thinking you're comparing your life to theirs, you're going to get an inaccurate depiction of yourself vs. others.

I know a guy who tries so hard to pretend to be rich on social media. He doesn't make much money at all, but he always posts selfies of him wearing suits, information about new Ferraris, and shit like that. He actually convinces some people that he's wealthy, but I know him well enough to know it's all bullshit. He's essentially role-playing. But instead of role-playing fantasy or scifi characters, he's pretending to be wealthy and well-adjusted.

People might post about good things in their life, and you're right, people will downplay it, or make it sound like a complaint. They do that in an attempt to seem even cooler. If someone goes on vacation and posts a photo at a beach with the text "pretty boring week" what they are trying to communicate is that they want you to think their life is so interesting that a really cool and uncommon thing like a vacation is boring to them. But in reality, it's just a facade.

You know how people can troll on image boards? Well there's a different version of that on other social media platforms, or even in real life. People play facades and try to make their life sound better than it really is.

Someone who is in debt, alcoholic, depressed, etc. might talk about Tinder and being so successful and popular and whatnot. But in reality, they might just barely be scraping by.

Many of the "normal" people you are complaining about have their fair share of problems that they keep to themselves, and sometimes they outright lie about good things.

Look at statistics about income, education, etc. Look at world statistics about literacy, starvation, GDP per capita, and so on. Lots of people have really shitty lives. But you seem to think that everyone else has a great life. I assure you this is not the case.

I live near East St. Louis. You know what's normal for life in East St. Louis? Violence, poverty, health problems due to lack of healthcare, unemployment, lack of education, no upward mobility, having trouble paying bills, and overall, a horrible quality of life. But you know what rappers from East St. Louis rap about? Being rich and successful. It's all fake. Did you know that rappers rent expensive cars for music videos? They can pay to rent one for a single day. Most of them can't actually afford to actually buy them. But that doesn't stop them from lying/pretending.

Lastly, consider that there are different phases in life. People who are successful now might have had rough patches in their past. You are not going to stay stuck in your current situation forever. Similarly, people who are in better situations haven't always been that way, and might not always continue to be that way either.

If you think tons of people have perfect lives, you're completely delusional.

Post edited on 18th Aug 2018, 1:38pm
>> No. 23746 [Edit]
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I would argue that everyone that responded to >>23732 so far is more of a failed normalcattle than said poster. You envying the lives of normalcattle while being unable to achieve it for on reason or another makes you all failed normalcattle. That life provides its own share of burdens (even if more often than not theyre completely avoidable if the person living said life logically thought ahead) - wageslavery, debt, mortgage, maintaining friendships, making new and maintaining old social connections, all of the numerous woes regarding 3DPD, obnoxious money-leeching children, no free time, constant need to maintain a fake image, etc etc. The few positives do not even come close to outweighing the negatives, therefore being envious of that life is either masochistic, delusional or plain stupid.
>> No. 23747 [Edit]
>On social media, people tend to only post positive things, even when negative things are going on in their life.
We must be hanging out in very different places because I see plenty of bitching and complaining from spoiled normal fags about their so called shitty lives (which I'm pretty sure I already said in fact). Not just things like your beach example, I mean people going on rants about how hard life is, how they want to kill themselves and so on. I've met my share of people who claim to have it so bad, but I have little pity for most these people. When they cry about a break up, I think "at least you had someone". When they loose a friend it's "at least you had a friend". When they bitch about the stress of college and finals "At least you got to go, and you weren't forced to go so don't act like it". No, their lives aren't "perfect", that's impossible. The more people have the more they want. What I'm saying is even when they aren't bitching about first world problems, these people still bitch about stupid shit and take what they have for granted. Even the more serious problems are usually from loosing things some of us never got to have in the first place or getting what they deserve for stupid life choices and behavior and still have plenty to make up for whatever is wrong with their lives. I have no petty for these normalfags. Why should I? No one cries for the likes of us, no one cares. To them people like me were punching bags in school, someone to make fun of, torment, bully. No one wanted to be my friend, girls didn't want anything to do with me. I was always on the outside looking in and always will be. These people live in a party that people like me weren't invited to, and I'm supposed to feel bad when they spill a drink on themselves, when they get drunk and make an ass of themselves? Just because a few of them aren't truly enjoying the party as much as they pretend they are, doesn't mean they aren't still there. No one's forcing them to be there, and if they don't enjoy it boo fucking hoo.
>> No. 23749 [Edit]
If you don't have friends, you can't blame "normal" people for that. Nobody owes you friendship or a relationship. If nobody wants to be your friend, that's a problem with you, not the entire rest of the world. And it sounds like you have a lack of empathy when hearing about other people's issues, which will compound the friendlessness issue. People don't want to hear negativity when they're down. That's not how you form close ties with people. People like to befriend people who are compassionate and good at listening. If you kick people when they're down, like what you mentioned you say to people, they're not going to like you.

Stop blaming "normals" and start accepting personal responsibility.
>> No. 23750 [Edit]
Cool assumptions bro, and nice job completely missing the point. Normalfags have it good and I don't want to be their friends. At no point did I say they owed me anything. I have no sympathy for normalfags and their non-issues, that doesn't mean I have no sympathy for anyone else.
>> No. 23751 [Edit]
It's not projecting, I was addressing what you wrote in your post.

And I'm really not trying to be mean or anything, but people on the spectrum often lack empathy or otherwise have a hard time understanding where other people are coming from. Do you have autism or Asperger's syndrome? Empathy is very important, but it takes time and effort to try and understand other people's perspectives. It's lazier to just tell yourself that you don't need to think from other points of view.

Besides, if you look up statistics about the average person in the world, a "normal" person actually lives a life of poverty, unsanitary conditions, no savings, low literacy, poor education, no upward mobility, etc. You are implying that your anecdotal evidence of people you know is somehow indicative of what everyone is like. And even then, you might be wrong about the people you've expressed your disdain for. People aren't as one-dimensional as you might think. Also consider that people don't disclose all facets of their life. The public self and the private self are very different. If you don't know someone very well, they're not going to let you know about all the intimate details of their life, so you'll get only a shallow understanding of them, which is not the whole picture.

Lastly, what do you get out of being so bitter? Why dislike people when you can try to be friendly instead? Is it jealousy? Or do you just have a superiority complex and you think everyone else is below you?

Post edited on 20th Aug 2018, 6:49pm
>> No. 23752 [Edit]
Based on your own personal definition of normal, do you consider yourself to be normal? Why or why not? If you think you aren't normal, do you want to be normal? And if you're not normal, what's stopping you from being normal?

The "I'm not a normal!" on this site reminds me of two other faux-enlightenment categories: right-wingers calling themselves "redpilled" and liberals calling themselves "woke." In all these cases, there is illusory superiority and dismissal of other people without truly trying to understand them. It's an unwarranted sense of superiority. Though here, it seems to be cognitive dissonance.

You can improve your life if you really want to.

There's this concept called locus of control. Wikipedia says "In personality psychology, locus of control is the degree to which people believe that they have control over the outcome of events in their lives, as opposed to external forces beyond their control." In other words, some people think their life is what they make of it, while other people think their future is set in stone.

Do you think there's no possibility of becoming normal? Or do you think you can change? I think it's possible to change and become higher-functioning, but it can take a lot of time and effort. It's not easy, but it's possible.

I think telling yourself that there's some irreconcilable divide between you and "normal" people is just rationalizing not taking action to improve your own situation. That's a cop out.

You have more power to change your situation than you might realize. Some people don't want to realize that, because that would mean having to admit that they can fix their problems if they actually try, and maybe even admitting that they're at fault, instead of the fault being the entire rest of the world around them.

>Then you're likely in the wrong site.
I disagree. I have my own issues, though I'm actively working on them instead of just giving up. Outlook makes a big difference.

Image boards are discussion boards, are they not? Or are you only here because you want people to back up your preexisting world view? Basically saying your same opinions but in different words. I don't think that's right. It's good to think critically and let your beliefs be challenged instead of just being in an ideological echo chamber.

I am surprised at how hostile a lot of these responses are, considering all I'm doing is trying to encourage people to make positive changes.
>> No. 23753 [Edit]
>The "I'm not a normal!" on this site reminds me of two other faux-enlightenment categories: right-wingers calling themselves "redpilled" and liberals calling themselves "woke."
Now you are doing the same as what you are describing others of doing to normalfags, grouping people together and simplifying. Hypocrite.

>Though here, it seems to be cognitive dissonance.
And you seem to have a feeling of moral superiority.
>> No. 23757 [Edit]
>You have more power to change your situation than you might realize. Some people don't want to realize that, because that would mean having to admit that they can fix their problems if they actually try, and maybe even admitting that they're at fault, instead of the fault being the entire rest of the world around them.

I have no stake in the rest of the conversation here, but this touched on something I've been thinking about a bit lately.

how do people like you reconcile this thought with the hordes of people throughout history who did try, for their entire lives no less, and still got nowhere until they eventually died? those people vastly outnumber anyone who actually succeeded, but they seem to be brushed by the wayside anytime someone points out how unfair life can be.
>> No. 23762 [Edit]
OP is clearly someone who considers that their transition from full blown NT to neet poser was a step down in the world, which is to say someone who does not belong here. The administration was kind in only issuing a warning in this case, if it was my call the ntgger would have been put out of our misery completely
>> No. 23869 [Edit]
not really, i was shunned even back in kindergarten. anime was all i had growing up
>> No. 23870 [Edit]
Sort of, I had plans and a path I wanted to follow but a sports injury ruined all that. Then there was nothing in the world I wanted to pursue. I didn't start watching anime or posting on imageboards until I was about 19.
>> No. 24072 [Edit]
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I'm posting this after starting college years late and moving to a new city to force myself intoi a do or die situation.

As I excercised regularly in my NEET years (never before that) people mistook me for being sporty and I was able to 'blend in'. Though I absolutely failed to make close friends as my mind is genuinely trapped in low-emotional involvement.

The stress of realising that even when I force myself to 'fake it' I fail to form close bonds really got to me and the realisation that if I fail I'd be guarenteed dead caught up to me big time. I've spiralled into major phases of depression and minor phases of optimism. As I have had erectile issues since I was 16 (major depression from 16 too) sex was never a major concern for me, so when I mentioned I'd never had sex people looked at me with genuine shock (they actually thought I was a sporty guy or something). While I'd be relativtely OK with close friends and stuff it dawned on me just how far behind I am in terms of social development.

This made me completely resent my family when I went back home over Christmas and I feel I was in fight-of-flight every day to escape the hellish situation I'd been stuck in. I think sites like this are OK if you are progressing however since it sort of acts as a substitute for friendship. Obviously because major mental health issues and thoughts of kms every day my studies are impacted and I'm genuinely concerned I may fail the first semester of Univresity because I can't concentrate. Uni destroyed my schedule and all my fears have caught up to me. I feel the realisation that most other 23 year olds are just starting careers and have had their youth (assuming 23+ is 'adult youth' in terms of being young yet in a career) sort of isolates me too.

It pretty much took me 3 years to recover to the state of ending up at University. I just wanted to work with animals or maybe be a Biologist though staying sane is a lot harder than it should be, moreso considering my miracle reversal of fortune still leaves me below the level of most high schoolers, at least socially.

If you want to know how I improved to this point though I'll gladly share my 'social reintegration' project. It's just my flame is burning out a little on the realisation that there's still so much to do. I have chronic eye/knee/hernia/penile issues too which I guess is just bad luck or genetics?
>> No. 24100 [Edit]
Since you were fit during your NEET years Im assuming your gym was your home or room. Ive been wondering to be a fit NEET aswell, care to share routines, items (if you need any) you used, etc? complete noob btw.

If you did go to gym, dont bother replying because I wont go outside.
>> No. 24101 [Edit]
Not him, but you can do pushups, situps, squats in your bedroom. That and eating right is enough to get fit.
>> No. 24106 [Edit]

I done it both at home and in the gym. At home I bought a squat rack and weights and followed the program 'stronglifts 5x5'. That's a really simple routine, maybe you could try circuit training stuff too though I find it hard to motivate myself doing it at home (I used to play on the computer between sets).

I joined fitness classes after a year of that and made a complete fool myself regularly (I think) but was so clouded I didn't care since I knew isolation would result in complete misery.
>> No. 25293 [Edit]

This is me, I've improved even further.

However, I suddenly had a loss of motivation and despite being really happy mentally I couldn't focus while studying.

After this I had a bit of a breakdown and am still in a really depressive phase, the most insane thing aboout success is how the standards keep rising higher and higher.

I don't know if this is just me but I feel I'm always wanting more. However, I think I'm internally broken from my parents arguing during my childhood and me locking myself in my room for all of high school moreorless.

I felt SO close to a true victory of happiness! I guess my latent introversion denies me.
>> No. 25979 [Edit]
This thread sucks and is one of the worst on tohno-chan. It doesn't matter how hard somebody had it in life or whatever. It doesn't matter. Normalcattle are different in their dominant priorities and mentality. The anon here who spewed something about empathy even expressed that difference without realizing it. I hope that person has left since 2018. The lives and opinions of normalcattle only matter as much as they interfere with your passions.

Post edited on 13th Oct 2020, 3:13pm
>> No. 25980 [Edit]
The hate is strong with this one.
>> No. 25981 [Edit]
Yeah I'm full of hate. Posts like this >>23732 are disturbing to me. At least they probably left.
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