>>25452
Jesus Christ.

I worked nighttime for years, I could spend weeks without a good sleep, and I never experienced anything even remotely like that. It was just a feeling of weirdness and sometimes confusing things from another ones.

Any idea what would cause such severe insomnia in the first place?
I've been having something similar but much less serious. Last few nights I've had rather bad sleep and getting some strange experiences: people approaching my bed quickly, mom walking in and saying really strange stuff("you'll panic when I close your your room's door shut"), aliens outside my window, and really bloody scenes. Like bad dreams or sleep paralysis but I'm not exactly paralyzed, some of these are straight up hallucinations. For example, I sleep with my cat on my bed. I feel she's moving in the middle of the night, I reach out to pet her so she'll calm down. She bites my finger, gets off my bed, I see her get out of my room and I hear her go downstairs. Alright, more room for my legs, so I stretch and I start seeing my poor cat stumbling awake wondering why I'm kicking her off my bed. I felt awake and had my eyes open during all of this minor incident, and felt the bite clearly.
I'm pretty aware of how horrifying this would be if it started happening during the day. Hope you get better OP

I've never purposely deprived myself of sleep for that long but I imagine it could potentially get that strange. It doesn't take long for me to tell my hallucinations apart from reality though sometimes auditory one's leave me confused. My most common one's are people suddenly and they're usually out of place and strange. Like one night I was downstairs doing something in the kitchen and some witch like woman starting walking towards me but when I notice and focus they go away in seconds. Another one was the other night in a store where I saw an old guy in a long grey trench coat and hat staring at a shelf but the same thing happened when I had a double take at it. Usually these people are normal looking but out of place. Other random things include black masses growing on things or small animals.

The auditory is slightly less frequent but just as realistic. Like before this on my pc here bored out of my mind cause I'm kinda sick and I even ironically got an ear infection hoping to resolve soon, I was resting my head micro napping and there was a bunch of small voices that sounded like tiny people I would say? IF tiny fairy's or gnomes could talk and imagine a bunch of them filling your ears at once and when you focus off again it's gone but when you tune in it gets louder. Can never make out what's being said. This usually happens when I'm trying to sleep but often I'll get random sounds around me that sound like people or a TV show on but there will be nothing and the other night the most realistic thing I heard in a while was someone very clearly laugh at me behind my door but no one was there.

I don't like these stressful times and especially losing part of one of senses for the time being because it only makes everything worse. I get the "what if I'm sick forever?" thoughts in my head and it's all downhill from there mentally. It's interesting cause I'm normally not a paranoid type but when I'm stuck in a certain state the feelings of impending doom and "something happened to me and this is hell" come and go like waves.

>>25452
Well, today I was doing much better. Yay~ I was planning on trying to start doing all sorts of new things to better my life, like finally starting to write the story of my future visual novel, as I no longer am even *able* to spend time reading depressive news, which in part caused this - my burnt-out condition is so severe that I start getting that pressuring sensation or ripples in my head, if I see or hear anything I see as really negative. I was imagining how me and my mom would soon start fixing everything up on the upper floor, so I finally could move from my apartment that I hate, back to my mom (and dad) and our wonderful dog that I absolutely love. All sorts of positive emotions came to my mind, in the morning, which my dad witnessed and seemed to be happy about.

Come the evening, I'm making a large cup of tea to drink before me and my mom go to walk our dog, together. After finishing it, I soon sit down in the livingroom to sip on a calming cup of Earl Grey Green, which also will improve my health, both against the minor tonsilitis and against eventual contraction of SARS-CoV-2. So my mom also comes there and sits down, while I keep slowly sipping. The time only is briefly after seven in the evening. I take my time, as drinking slowly increases the experience of tea and also doesn't shock you with caffeine. After a while, my drunkard dad starts nagging about how our dog needs to go out (me and my mom usually walk her in the evening). I say I'll just finish my tea and then we'll go. She again whimpers a bit, as indeed was waiting for us to go (this is normal), so less than a minute later, he sternly says he will go if we don't. I reply that we will very soon go, in a calm and collected manner (I really wanted to go as a nurse and a doctor both said I need to go outside to collect my thought or such and get fresh air, and I like going in the evening, also), and my mom also said we will go after I finish drinking the tea. A second later, he literally shouts "THAT'S NOT IT, SHE WILL GO OUT NOW!!!" So I quickly pour down all of the tea (six decilitres left) in fifteen seconds and in a calm manner tell my mom, "Alright, let's go."

We go for a super long walk... almost an hour. My mom leaves her phone at home so my dad can't call us, it seems, and we pretty much let our dog go wherever she wants. It's really nice and fun and she loves rolling around in the snow and sniff for hares that she wants to hunt, despite that they probably are twice as big as her. On the way home, I talk about my birthday and how I have wished my mom for some pre-owned Nintendo 64 games, as I've almost been obsessing over Nintendo 64 for months, now, and she's previously agreed that that'd be great presents, as I've even discovered that the old car game Cruis'n USA that I recently got for my Nintendo 64 is helping me with recovery (I know I could copy but I love the nostalgia of carts) - its arcade feeling is just so wonderful - it's pretty much a masterpiece car game and it saddens me a bit that I never got it, back in the nineties - a review I read in a gaming magazine I subscribed to thought it was mediocre, so I never got it as the games were so expensive, then, but it's pretty much the Mario Kart of a more "normal" racer (that now explains Nintendo's desire to secure the game, back then). Anyway, I also start talking about how I probably should get new glasses, before most stores start closing one by one from the virus frights, and at that time, we approach a road crossing and I can feel the approaching of dangerous foreigners of our land from a shithole country. I try to get my mom to hurry over the crossing so we can rush away from them, but a car suddenly comes driving and I need to return back to them. Then, despite that we barely ever see either cars or people, three other cars from the other three directions come, as if forming a cross to protect us from this invading species. As a result, we can safely walk home, and it thankfully was close as I had no weapon with me. It almost felt like a divine act protecting us, as these creatures, aside from hating whites, also hate dogs and probably eat them and shit. Sadly, meeting these soil-coloured apparitions made me very anxious, so it made my head yet again start feeling as if it was bursting - seemingly, no stress can be handled for me, for now.

As we're getting inside, my dad asks where we were for so long. We tell him that we let her decide where she'd want to walk, and tell him where we went when he asks. I then tell my dad that I'm thinking of getting new glasses for my birthday, as the ones I have are almost twelve years old. His only reply is, "You will pay for that, yourself." I calmly reply that I indeed intended to. He quickly leaves for bed without even saying goodnight.

I keep working for two hours and a half to get the pressuring feeling to pass, playing Cruis'n USA to calm down while my mom is eating a piece of an oven pancake she made, before we went walking, with redcurrant jam that she had also just cooked and put out to cool in the snow. I finally start feeling better - pretty much well, again - and my mom is about to head to bed, but I ask if she could test me with a heart machine, before going, to know my heart is doing okay. As she's starting it, my dad barges out of the sleeping room, in a really high voice coming and almost screaming, "It's all fun and games what you're doing (the TV was on), but YOU NEED TO DO AS THE DOCTOR SAID AND GO TO BED." (Actually, she said I need to do things that make me feel like making me able to sleep, not just try to force myself to sleep, but you cannot exactly say facts to my drunkard dad - facts all are wrong unless he read them in some socialist rag "news"paper.) Then he literally SLAMS the door to the bedroom AS HARD AS HE CAN, causing me to stress out and my head starts feeling like it will burst, much worse than most other times. I ask my mom to please go get me a effervescent headache tablet in water, as I quickly am feeling VERY ill, again. While she's away, it starts feeling as if my heart is getting thrust into by judo fingers or something, over and over. As she gets back, I ask her if she please could open an air vent that I can go breathe from, as doing so myself was hard enough, as I became very weak. I put my head into it to breathe air from outside and feel better after a few minutes breathing there.... I then go back to sit in the armchair and drink the headache pill solution while talking about how there's seemingly nothing left of my dad from ten years ago, anymore... just a shell remaining after his constant, almost daily drinking, and that if he doesn't stop very soon, I seriously think that the last remaining shard of him will perish forever.

I manage to calm down and my mom goes to bed. Fun day, huh...? But at least I loved Cruis'n USA as much, still, and my mom and our dog were as nice as always, and she's looking to buy presents for me. I really wish I had gotten this game, back then, as it would've been a wonderful teenage memory, for me... it's sad, but at least I finally played it and found out the awesomeness of it. I have to say it's especially nice to play it with the newly released Retro Fighters Brawler64 controller.

....Oh, my heart just felt weird. I hope it will pass.

How you're doing today, anon? This past few days I seem to be more agitated than ever this year. Had some minor problems going to bed this week.

Lately I've been feeling weird in my chest most of the time. But the worse is at nights, I wake up once or twice every night with my heart racing and barely breathing. I can't even find a good sleeping position that doesn't make feel opressed. Headaches are common too but I don't know if that's related.
It could be I'm dying?
I'm actually dying?

>>25472
Probably not.
Sounds similar to what I feel like and I haven't died yet. It appears to be mostly mental. Shit life syndrome.

>>25472
I'm having it too and I was absolutely terrified at the beginning when it started to show itself this year. It feels like my mind is associating sleep with death, which is the reason for me waking up after every two hours. Every dream ends with a shocking sound, a loud door slam, a waking word, a loud tone.
Lying on back is the most comfortable position.
Eating less doesn't help at all, the superfluous energy stays there for the auto-shock therapy.

The problem is deemed to be a mental condition.

>>25473
>>25474
Yes, I think it has to be the same thing you described, nightmares included. I will try lying back but I have never slept like that in my life, it feels weird.
There's something I don't get, I'm not particularly unhappy and just a few years ago I was a lot worse. Right now I'm enjoying the confinement of last month. I have less stress than ever, no doubt about that, then why it has to happen now?

I just started getting nightmares again this week. They are like re-experiencing certain experiences from many years ago. There was quite some time since I last had them, and I was even starting to think those would be past matters, what a thing. I don't feel anything in particular with regards to my body, just the nightmares themselves. I don't know whether the technical term would be bad dreams but whatever.