I try to avoid this kind of thinking since it can only lead to me regretting shit without being able to actually go back and change my actions.

id like to go back to a time when my dad was passed out drunk after hitting me and my mom and stab him in the throat and lock myself in the bathroom so he can't kill me back while he's bleeding out. (he was a body bulder and would probably get through the door in 2 seconds though even with his jugular open and three times over the legal blood alcohol content limit).
i was just a kid so i wouldnt get any jailtime.
maybe my life would be less of a piece of shit if i spared myself a few years of his abuse and got his insurance money. he's since removed us from his will so when that piece of shit dies i get nothing now.
i thought about killing him when he was passed out all the time but never went through with it. what a little retard i was.

>>23257
changed my mind on this. my dad's abuse made me into the man i am today. the man who loves his waifu very much. trauma develops mental illness and mental illness develops strong obsessive bonds with fictional characters.

instead i would go back to the 8th grade alternative school for retards and criminals where I met a kid named Earl and a kid named Abe. these are their real names, not ones made up for the sake of the story. if either of you are here, which is possible since you were both fucked up people too, i am sorry.
i was on a lot of psych meds and my parents had just split and i had no friends and spent my free time outside of school crying and playing video games in the dark and stuffing my fucking fat face with food. and i took it out on people. i beat people up and made people suffer cause i was suffering.
the stereotypes about "bullies are just insecure bigger losers than you!" is 100% fucking true. you were both better people than me.
i think about you two little retards all the time even though it's been a decade now. i respected you both and thought you were cool and i have no idea why i had the compulsion to punch the shit out of you and make fun of you for being poor. i was poor too. i was living in welfare apartments. i'm sorry.
i'd go back and stop myself from being mean to them. their lives were already a piece of shit.

i hope stopping myself from being a bully wouldnt have a butterfly effect and make me have never fallen in love with my waifu.....

There isn't a single thing in life that would make me happy if it had gone the other way around. Everything in life is forgettable shit.

It would have just been better if I hadn't been born.

>>23256
I think it helps to reflect on choices you make in life so that you can make better choices in future.

But you're still right. When I think about the past it just make it harder to breathe.

>>23258
>my dad's abuse made me into the man i am today. the man who loves his waifu very much. trauma develops mental illness and mental illness develops strong obsessive bonds with fictional characters.
There is something relatable to this post and I don't know what it is. I wasn't abused and don't have a waifu.