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23375 No. 23375 [Edit]
So TC I've been trying my best to deal with my mental issues and keep going. Around 10 months ago I joined a small online community of people (to try and learn how to socialise on non imageboards/IRC) with a similar niche interest(?) and things mostly went okay. However around 4 months ago I started to notice increasingly people on it making fun of me, and outright insulting me thinking I wouldn't realise it due to my autism. Fast forward to now, I've left the community. I just feel completely lost, I thought those people actually cared about me but clearly they didn't, and my mental condition is worse than it has been in a long time. What do I do when the foundation for my "getting better" turns out to be a lie that only hurts me more? I'm sorry for this stupid personal blogpost, but you guys are the only place I can turn to.
>> No. 23376 [Edit]
>What do I do
That's a very broad question for how little detail you gave. What type of online community was it if not an imageboard nor IRC channel? Like a forum? Or like a discord server? How did you find it? Was this place made for the sake of the niche interest or did it just gravitate in that direction? Is this interest the type that would attract people you would consider similar? What were they making fun of you about? How were they insulting you?
>> No. 23377 [Edit]
It was a discord server, I found it through another small imageboard I frequent, it was about the original X-COM games though it kind of devolved from it. I was not sure about the type of people who would also still be interested in the games, and on finding out more about the other people there I realised I was quite a lot different from most, especially once the server became less about X-COM. They would at first generally make me the butt of jokes due to my misunderstanding social situations and regarding my husbando which I regret telling them about now. As time went by it would often end up being outright insults (Regarding sexuality, autism, interest in anime, in X-COM even as the server focus left it and desire to be nice if not witheld to everyone despite the "shitposting" tumor that had taken a hold on the server. They would tend to laugh them off as jokes, despite how obviously malicious they were or that I should just stop taking things so seriously.
>> No. 23379 [Edit]
>It was a discord server
In my experience, the majority of discord servers are filled to the brim with either attention-addicted normals or entitled mentally ill people with vicious dispositions. For servers that stem from imageboards, it becomes an overwhelming majority with counted exceptions (I recall reading about iirc a gunpla server that was a role model to follow, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was already overrun and vandalized).
>about the original X-COM games
>type of people who would also still be interested
The answer is as simple as it is obvious: People that are into abandonware. It's understandable the older games got some exposition due to the remakes / new games, but they are nevertheless a bit of a filter for those unable to handle old school gaming. The moment you realized the main focus wasn't the game, you should have bailed.
>and regarding my husbando
Why would you reveal you have a husbando in an environment where it is both irrelevant and pointless to share it? I'll admit I'm not an X-COM connoisseur, but I doubt waifuism is either an integral or marginal part of the fan base.
>I should just stop taking things so seriously.
Gargantuan DEFCON-1 red flag. If you're in an environment made for a particular subject (e.g. anime) an people skew topics, break the rules, etc. and then use phrases like "You're being unfun" or "Stop taking things so seriously" after you complain or point it out, it's time to either pack your bags and leave for greener pastures or fight to restore order. If you don't have any authority and are alone in your standing, the latter is not a feasible option, even more so in toxicity-rewarding systems like Discord.

Now, back to your OP:
>What do I do when the foundation for my "getting better" turns out to be a lie that only hurts me more?
What you can do is not give up. You (should have) learnt a couple valuable lessons, which are (1) to mind your surroundings and make sure the environment you are in provides you with what you're looking for emotionally, and (2) to give up on something when you feel it's not worth the physical or intellectual investment to keep indulging in it. If you're looking particularly for another community where you might be able to find pre-nouveau X-COM fans, I recommend you stay the hell away from imageboard-related communities, specially if they stem from IV or Infinity. You could try Abandonia or Home of the Underdog remnants for discord or irc servers.

As always, the TC irc is alive and decently populated to meet basic interactive needs as long as you're polite. Good luck.
>> No. 23380 [Edit]
Yeah, not that many online friends will really want to talk about that many deep convos with you... If you follow anime though you can probably go from discord to discord and just have simpler convos about favorite characters, superpowers etc. but that probably won't be enough for you, might be better than nothing though.
>> No. 23381 [Edit]
Yes it was my first real experience with discord, I should have on retrospect seen the warning signs of the original purpose becoming eroded. I told them briefly about my husbando when an off-topic discussion ended up with on waifuism, I regretted it. I really don't mean to sound rude in this, but thank you for telling me what I guess I already knew, just couldn't bring into words, I hope I can help you with any issues you have one day anon.
>> No. 23384 [Edit]
TC IRC has had a lot of people that were dicks in my experience.

>mentally ill people with vicious dispositions

This has been my experience with some people on TC IRC, but not everyone of course. And for some of them they just seemed so depressed that they were lashing out.
>> No. 23385 [Edit]
Been lurking the TC IRC for a while. I have only seen one (1) person who had anything close to a "vicious disposition" and they were ultimately banned. For the rest the lashing out are extremely rare. Unless you count being vicious people who don't participate in a hugbox, I don't see how your assessment is anywhere near accurate.
>> No. 23386 [Edit]
I worded that too harsh, sorry. Most people in TC IRC have been friendly and polite. I'm also thinking of years ago, things have changed a lot there. I guess I was caught up on times I've initiated more private conversation in PMs. The group chat is not vicious or anything minus one person who was extremely depressed and alcoholic and would shit on people for a while (this stopped as far as I know). Most people are not going to be huge dicks openly, I think, unless they have nothing to lose and don't mind making themselves an enemy in the group. What is more common is passive aggressiveness and subtle trolling, but I believe even that is much rarer lately.

Post edited on 23rd Feb 2018, 12:13pm
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