I used to draw, poorly. Now out of fucking nowhere my mother promised someone I'd conjure up some pictures for them.
What the shit was she thinking... I can't do it. I only ever did retarded shitscribbles in the back of a notebook, back when I was still in school. Over 10 years ago.
I'm going fucking insane here, it's impossible. I want to claw my eyes out and die in pain.
She thinks I'm pretending to be shit out of laziness or spite.
Kill me, someone fucking kill me already.

>>2971
>>2972
Well, it's been 2 years since I've asked that question. I didn't improve at all.
I'm not squeamish and I have no self respect so I wouldn't be opposed to making porn, but it's not that important now.

For the last couple of months I've been trying to start learning again and it's more dejecting then ever. As usual I attempted to study the standard way. I tried to follow some common anatomy textbooks while doing basic practice based on the popular Draw A Box set of exercises.
It feels like I'm not capable of improving. I've filled hundreds of pages and haven't learned a single thing. It's not like I'm doing it all wrong, like some absent minded grinding. I aimed to understand the whats, hows and whys of the exercises as best as I could to practice consciously.

It was very hard to keep doing it regularly with my depression and worsening brain fog. All of it was plain unpleasant, exhausting, unrewarding. I hoped I'd start having fun again at some point, that it would get easier the more I worked but it never did.
I haven't practiced in a while. I don't have the strength to drag myself out of bed. I'm about to quit.

If anyone knows anything that could help, please reply.
Drawing and painting might be the only thing I've ever really wanted to do, although I've always failed at it. It might be the only thing that could save me from eventual suicide.

>>2980
Have you considered professional therapy, or failing that, Bob Ross?

>>2981
I tried therapy but it didn't help me much. Drugs had no positive influence, only nasty side effects. People find me repulsive so group therapy was a miserable experience and shrinks didn't want to deal with me one on one since I'm a boring and hopeless case.

I never watched much Bob Ross because in my country traditional painting is an expensive hobby. I wanted to start with traditional drawing and move to digital painting eventually. I try to stay as cheap as possible using mostly pencils or graphite, and fineliners where required by exercises.
Maybe I'll watch some more Ross for that famous tranquil atmosphere, as I won't be able to apply his guidelines in practice.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8si4ZuA2kk
I made this yesterday. It's a simple crossover trailer between kemono friends and Jurassic park.

>>2772
Didn't realise you have a Youtube Channel
Your anime reviews are really comfy

I edit footage over music I find to my liking.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfgC5swITM571T-i5EmZk9w

Just to end the year.
https://soundcloud.com/elemile/koi

piano song

https://soundcloud.com/elemile/blood-moon

Piano song.

https://soundcloud.com/elemile/was

Piano

https://soundcloud.com/elemile/ko-iii

>>2965
Yes, I was going for a certain pose but it did not quite work out.

I like how this one turned out, well mostly. It is still simple and crude but the basic form is there I feel, I might try to draw more advanced kinds of images next.

>>2966
fat

I want to nitpick about the decision to make the panels into weird squares like that, but I suppose that it's up to the author. The art is good, however.

I don't have any talent in drawing whatsoever, so I cannot participate because I'm a useless failure incapable of keeping up.

>>2783
That is a very tohno-chan like post of you.

I think 4komas would be good practice for drawing. Once I get a bit better I might try to make some.

other imageboards

Danbooru, Pixiv, wizchan and here.

Youtube and tumblr.

I use medibang to draw things and it has an inbuilt uploading feature so I upload them there. I'm not good enough to upload them elsewhere, I am just uploading them there so I can use views and likes to gage the progress of my quality.

>>1176
I like the fact there is no UK.

>>2833
Realistic = ugly.

>>2833
wide flat and chinky

I just thought up a nightmare scifi scenario I'd like to ask if you think its spooky enough before fleshing out the idea. The hypothesis I'm basing my idea on is that after humans go into space and live in low/zero gravity situations the physical penalties for obesity are reduced and the fatties are able to grow to enormous sizes without being crushed to death under the weight of their own hideous mass. After a few generations the fatties have evolved bodies more in line with their excess nutritional intake and as everything else about them grows, so does their brains. The fattest of fatties grow super smart and conquer humanity completely, possibly eating a lot of us in the process and eventually enormous space whales the size of planets rule the universe an thats how it all plays out in the end. Fatties win bigtime.
What do you think?

I just whipped up my dream planet, Lucia. I am only open for RPs in appropriate boards whenever available, but not in here. This is just a quick what's going on at the moment during the spring of 2218 AD.

Main continent: Lucians (light blue)
Meridia: Dormilians (purple)
Red Sun Mountains: Yan Tribe (brown)
Mysterious Archipelago: Sun Pirates Clan (yellow)
Mitakihara: Various magical girl teams, including Idol Master (pink)
Gensokyo: Touhou(red)
Unknown territory: Night Raiders (dark red)
Monchrome: Colorless people from Yume Nikki's White Desert (light grey)
Yerivia: Chasers, various monsters from all over the galaxy that pursues lucid dreamers with the intent to harvest soul energy(orange)

Let me know what you think about this planet. I want this world to be recognized (love-hate or love-love relationship) within the year as my goal.

>>2759
>I just whipped up my dream planet, Lucia
Why the name?
>I am only open for RPs in appropriate boards whenever available, but not in here.
What does RPs stand for?
>This is just a quick what's going on at the moment during the spring of 2218 AD.
Is that time consistent with the later-mentioned magical girl teams, gensokyo and colorless people from Yume Nikki? Why do these three continents contain brand characters from somewhere else?
>I want this world to be recognized (love-hate or love-love relationship) within the year as my goal.
Recognized by whom or where? And how?

>Why the name?
From a dream character that saved me from monsters during a night terror episode when I was kid. From then on, I have no more dreams due to autism, nothing I can do but deal with it.
>What does RPs stand for?
Roleplays
>Is that time consistent with the later-mentioned magical girl teams, gensokyo and colorless people from Yume Nikki?
In dreams, there is no consistency, because when we enter REM sleep the logical part of the brain shuts off.
>Why do these three continents contain brand characters from somewhere else?
Thycia: Welsh for "to avail", "profit", and Greek for "rites of sacrifice".
Meridia: A land dedicated to the Daedric Prince of Life and Lady of Infinite Energies.
Yerivia: Inspired by the Spanish tragic play from the 1930's.
>Recognized by whom or where? And how?
When there are more interested people giving their own interpretations about my planet.

Made form RPCS3 screencaps.

>>2930
Common bro.

>>2930
They did it two years before your post, how's that recent?

>>2941
You have misread my post date >>2912

>>2930
Better draw it now before you get sniped again.

>>2947
You are correct, my mistake, sorry.