>>2125
OP here
Thank you. I appreciate the critique. what parts were groan worthy?
>I'd like to overhaul some of the text.
That would be fine. You could write up what you want done and I could implement it. It would be cool If you could directly edit the script but I dont think you can open .rpy files without ren'py installed.

>P.S. I see what you did there.
Heh, I think I made it too obvious. I guess that's fine though. I know katawa did that in that pan shot of the classroom.

My skype and deviantart is heavensdeviant

Post edited on 3rd Apr 2013, 5:03pm

>>2126
Thanks
But I must say, I am not too sure of your intentions for the story.
Upon multiple playthroughs I've noticed the overall atmosphere has a 'hackneyed cliche trope'-vibe to it. Not sure if that was intentional.

I'll deconstruct some stuff here just to see if you like the elements presented.

1. Are the characters in Highschool? (unless you where going for that overused "I gotta study had so I can get into a good university"-trope)
I'd suggest changing it to a Community College or a similar type of place. That way Max would really be wasting away his life. On bad days he could just be skipping all his lectures and hanging out in the cafeteria/commons area.

2. Give Sasha a part-time job, volunteer work, or study group. Something to prove she is more ambitious than Max.
A part-time job would be ideal. Sasha could be working to pay off her educational debts while her father pays for Max and forces him to go.
This could cause Sasha to be a little bitter at times and resent Max for his 'free ride'.

2a. Later down the road Sasha tries to hook up Max with a shy co-worker or friend. This would create a triangle of conflict between Max, Sasha, and Lynn. This could even give Max internal conflict if him and said girl find some common ground + these interactions cause trouble in Lynn's 'Life Continuum'.

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>>2127
>1. Are the characters in Highschool? (unless you where going for that overused "I gotta study had so I can get into a good university"-trope)
>I'd suggest changing it to a Community College or a similar type of place. That way Max would really be wasting away his life. On bad days he could just be skipping all his lectures and hanging out in the cafeteria/commons area.


I was going with highschool but I don't have a strong reason to. Would it be weird that Sasha and Max would both be going to the same college? I think Sasha would be at a higher academic level. Well, her english grades are shit but she's very gifted in math. If they gave scholarship in that she would probably get it. that sort of thing just comes naturally to her.
>2.
>This could cause Sasha to be a little bitter at times and resent Max for his 'free ride'.
Only thing you've said I'm deadset against. The explanation why is a little lengthy but here I go. Sasha isn't dumb but she lacks a lot of common sense sometimes. the coffee thing was the first example I've set up to illustrate this. She doesn't pay attention to a lot of obvious things or just doesn't think about them. She gets confused and messes up a lot so max has always done things to help her and fix things when she messes up. many little things. When their parents had to leave they left max in charge even though sasha was older. She was never mad at them because she knew they were right to choose so. Only a little mad at herself for her own incompetence. Their whole life, Max was the smart, dependable one and Sasha needed looking after. So their mom passes away. Max gets depressed and has some existential crisis maybe. He's antisocial but that's normal for him. Sasha gets worried and starts trying to force her own ideals on him. "You were always there when I was hurt! You were always the one who fixed everything and took care of me! Well now your in pain and I should be able to do something!!! Why don't you let me help

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>>2128
Now it all makes sense. For the most part it sounds like you've got everything figured out (and good artwork to boot). Well, at least you know where to contact me.

I might still look into using Ren'Py.
I always wanted a to see a horror anime that was akin to the slasher genre of the 1980's. Maybe making a cheap and stylistic visual novel would be the best way of putting it out of my head and into perspective.
I've gotta find someway to kill my insomnia.

>>2092
It was fun.
Are you the guy who made songs named around "dicks"?

>>2097
Yup. The naming scheme was just sort of a dumb running joke to myself that stuck for a while.

When I first started making primarily instrumental stuff, I was used to the conventional method of naming a song after the lyrics, so I really had no idea what to call any of it.

That's it, you guys inspired me.

Between all the 'Chinamation' and 'Fanime' videos on youtube I figure: "Why not me?"
It's not like my artistic understanding will decrease from the experience.

Trouble is I am severely computer illiterate to the point where the only two programs I comprehend are mspaint and windows movie maker.
You pros have any Software suggestions?

>>2102
Flash is pretty good. I know it might have sort of a bad reputation around here, but it's not like you need to tween the shit out of everything.
For example, the cuts in this scene http://youtu.be/jRHJntLYMh0 where the students are calling each other were animated in flash. You can't really tell the difference, in fact, the only reason I know of it is because I know who animated it.
Other than that, I've heard good stuff about TVP Animation Pro (it's bitmap-based vs. Flash and Toonboom which are vector-based), but I haven't tried it myself. It's developed by French animators, so probably worth a shot.
Of course you could also just draw the frames on paper and clean them on computer. Or not use the computer at all! In the end, it's the craftsman holding the tool, not the tools themselves, which is the most important.

>This might sound stupid, but I think building model kits may have indirectly helped with that just a little bit.
I bet it did. My skills improved slightly after having one to pose around.
I remember Toys-R-Us used to sell gundam kits in the early 2000's. Any good places to get them now? or must I contend with the collectors prices on amazon?

>>2085
http://www.gundamstoreandmore.com/
http://www.hlj.com/
http://www.1999.co.jp/eng/gundam/

When you take shipping cost into account though, amazon is really not that bad a choice for this. Depends on the rarity or demand of what you're looking for.

But yeah, most model kits are generally a lot cheaper/easier to find relative to animu figs and PVCs and shit.

Also, I doodled this fairly quick for shits and giggles since you mentioned the idea.

I used to draw crudely drawn mechs. I mean, they weren't meant to be mechs, but with the shapes that I kept adding to the shapes already drawn on the paper, it ended up becoming a mech, just not good or the traditional kind of mech.

>>2029
>I'm a reclusive self-hating fuck and I can't write believable relationships between characters, which is a serious problem

I experience this also. But not all fiction needs to have well developed characters, believe it or not. I'm reading a series called The Remaining, the characterization is really thin but the author includes a lot of military details that make it interesting to read.

>>2029

>What's going on? How are the projects going?

Just as planned, I'm procrastinating like there's no tomorrow and haven't written a single line yet. See, I would've written a dozen of books by now if not for the fact that I keep telling myself 'no use starting now, I'll kill myself before I'll manage to finish it either way'. Joke is I've been telling myself that for years.

>If anyone's actively involved in a VN project or knows someone who is, I'd love to hear about it. I need something to do, or else I'm going to die of boredom and depression.

... And if I weren't such a lazy piece of shit I would've at least attempted to gather a team for a generic VN long long ago. I always used tot think that coordinating a project like this is super hard but recently I somehow got involved in a big project (not a VN) and even though it resulted in a failure it gave me lots of confidence in regards to managing 'human resources'.

... Well, no point starting now either way, I'll kill myself before we'll manage to finish it either way...

>>2033
I suppose you're right. Good lit doesn't have to be character-driven. Maybe I'm just taking the wrong approach.

>>2034
>... And if I weren't such a lazy piece of shit I would've at least attempted to gather a team for a generic VN long long ago. I always used tot think that coordinating a project like this is super hard but recently I somehow got involved in a big project (not a VN) and even though it resulted in a failure it gave me lots of confidence in regards to managing 'human resources'.

Well, damn. I feel the same way. But there's no day like today to start being productive, right? Tomorrow never comes.

As I said before, I'd be interested in getting involved with any kind of interesting project, whether it's a VN or some sort of collaborative writing thing etc. I'm trying to come up with a few solid ideas myself.

I like all of the ideas here, I hope you finish.

I've got two vns I've been working on.
One about a guy waking up to find everyone's gone, surviving for a bit and dying.
Another is a murder mystery on the first civilian luxury space cruiser.
For the artwork, I'm just drawing crap and taking pictures. Not worried about quality. Can't be, or I'd never finish. There's lots of free-use music out there too.

Oh wow, this is even worse than what I expected.

>>2041
That gets really hard to listen to half way in.

>>2042
It gets really great after 3:00.

I think I actually like this one.

it's grate

Everyone pointed it out already, but amazing.

Why do they have such a bad fate ;_;

I laughed, I cried, now for suicide.

By that, you mean filming sceneries?
I could never bring myself to film other people.

Also I consider 3D to be 3D, no matter how it is.

Shinden, stalking should be fine as long as you don't get caught but if I were you I'd rather refrain from creating evidence of what you did. Just a friendly advice.

>>1963
What the heck are you talking about?

>>1935
Wow thanks!

>>1880
I betcha everything on that table is stolen.

>>1892
>>1908
>>1945
Thanks for your encouragements, it's the thing that keeps me going.

>>1953
oh my god that's so damn cute!!! <3

She's back!
I'll probably finish it one day.

>>1797
I'm finally getting vocal takes that I'm okay with, so I went back and listened to this older version for the first time since I uploaded it. And while I'm far from getting complacent, I'm genuinely surprised at how much I've improved.
My initial goal was to have the album completed by October, which will put the entire project at a year, and while that still seems realistic I think my hopes of finishing it early are a bit over-optimistic.

>>1916
Though you're admittedly going for a very low and gritty sound, I heartly believe you must re-tune up yourself with the guitar; cause even if your vocals and accompaniment have sense by themselves, you are hitting not one single note of the scales your chords should be contained in, thus preveting us from hearing any organic relation between what you play and what you sing...

Recording quality is ok.

Post edited on 27th Jul 2012, 10:48pm

>>1931
While I certainly appreciate you commenting, I'm going to have to disagree with the bit about "hitting not one single note of the scales your chords should be contained in". There is only one inharmonic note in the vocal melody, a G sharp, and it coincides with the chord shift from E minor to E major, so it's only inharmonic relative to the song's key and not to the chord that it's harmonized with.
Perhaps the vocals are just so bad that they give the impression of being off-key?

>>1931
This is ancient history now, but I still want to apologize for this >>1932 super-douchey, defensive reply. My pitch on that track was all over the place.

>Am I too old to learn it? I mean, I don't want to be a pro or something, I just want to play it for fun, as a hobby.
Not at all.
>How do I begin with it?
Buy a guitar(probably the hardest part for a brohno, but, oh well), amp, picks, strings(the stock ones are usually bad and shouldn't last much). Get Guitar Pro/Powertab, go to sites like 911tabs.com and search for some songs you like and you think must be easy.
There's tons of video tutorials on youtube too, and websites with free resources for learning, google is your friend.
>Is it possible to learn it just by reading tabs and listening to the music?
Depends how exigent you are regarding your performance, but I wouldn't say it's possible anyway. Watching videos(supposing you don't want to get a teacher) and doing specific exercises are strongly recommended, as it's quite easy to develop bad habits with really basic things such as merely picking otherwise.
Now if you mean theoretical knowledge, you don't really need much, if any. But it's really useful, and it's quite pleasant to be able to understand what you're playing.

>Am I too old to learn it?
Unless you have some wild case of precocious arthrirts: not at all.

>I want to learn it by myself
If you say so because you don't want to go out and/or interact with people, I understand completely: that's why I'm trying right now to learn piano that way; so I would say that it'll make the task a lot harder, but not impossible. For guitar, I did took a few classes on highschool, on wich I learned the very basics for classical finger picking style; things like how to hold it, tune it up, what finger goes where and how to exercize them, some basic chords; but the rest I learnt it by myself, basically finding tabs and chords online for the songs I liked, each one giving me new rythm and harmony sources to add to my experience; as the above Anon said, now we've got as well a great resource: tutorial videos at Youtube et al.; for electric guitar, you'd unavoidably have to learn some scales as well (check: http://www.chordbook.com/guitarscales.php )...

I'm >>75 and >>1918, btw.

Post edited on 21st Jul 2012, 1:15am

These should be useful, at some point:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmJQ-lgMoEA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mg6MLUnGG3U
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDbx6Nfc_no
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6NAQgZGm9Q

Post edited on 21st Jul 2012, 1:36am

wat

This isn't new at all, but people trying to draw girls can profit from it specifically:

http://kevo.dasaku.net/?p=92

This guy is pretty famous at CA... here is the thread of his progress:

http://www.conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?t=870

>>53
That pic >>45 consists of the contents of pages 136-139 of 図説女子高制服百科, also known as 女子高制服百科 (Joshikou Seifuku Hyakka):
https://yande.re/pool/show/1558
https://yande.re/post/show/129666 ← A commenter here identifies the art style as that of 藤森ゆゆ缶 (Fujimori Yuyukan).
If that commenter is mistaken, then the artist is likely one of the other artists who contributed to the book:
有間じろう (Arima Jirou)
加茂 (Kamo)
くまつき (Kumatsuki)
Koi (author of Gochiusa)
田中ノエル (Tanaka Noel)
榊原宗々 (Sakakibara Sousou)
西野木 (Nishinogi)
龍川ナギ (Tatsukawa Nagi)