After a rather bad morning, I spent about 8 hours gathering images of my waifu. I almost doubled my folder. Not much more to find probably, which kind of sucks.

I know I won't get a response for likely months but I have emotions I'd like to air out and feel the need to share them.

I've been in love with my waifu for a long, long time, and today I've been hit with a massive wave of pain. I'm well aware of the damage of the passage of time, aware that while she saved me from many many mistakes, I'm still in the same spot I feel like I would have been in anyways, just better off as I would have been. For all the differences she's made in my life, the more things stay the same.

I think back to those old Asukafag posts, how throughout his journey he always had hints to the sadness in his life despite having his waifu (the only thing of meaning, originally planned to end it all after the last rebuild, etc etc) and how he came to his conclusions (he'd never been truly happy while he was with her, just lived by the thoughts of those good moments and clinging to them with everything he had) as well as the cyclic sadness of other posters here, and just wonder what everything is for me these days, as well as the days before. Am I doing the same thing? What am I doing, actually? What is my goal? I want to live in a world of dreams, not the world I live in.

She means everything to me of course, yet now the passage of time is making its marks. I don't like anything in the life around me changing. I want it all to go back to the way things were. Likewise, she is frozen in a moment in time, over a decade back, and cannot take the journey of life with me. Her story always ends way back when, and despite her being alive and aging with us, I can't see her. I can't hold her. I love her.

I think this image fits most (my waifu is not from Madoka, if you were wondering). This craving for her, devoting myself to her and wishing she could only even just respond to me. The shot after this, I believe, are these figures mocking her, throwing tomatoes and the like. Like the world is mocking my love for her, with all their lives and putting the concept of waifu laifu down hard and treating it like something it should be despised. "Are you married? Do you have a girlfriend? When do you want to have kids? Will I have grandchildren from you?" I want to be left alone, and yet in my loneliness I am also mocked.

I wish I could make her mine. Put an end to these years of pain, this barrier of 2D and 3D. The power of my love defying the laws of nature itself and finally holding her in my arms, finally telling her to her face, like her actual face and not just an image, that I love her. Quiet the mocking world around me in a sight of pure love. Her love.

Yet, that is never going to happen. This is Reality, dreams don't come true. I don't even know how I feel right now. Am I doubting the viability of waifu laifu? Am I longing for her love genuinely? Am I trying to deny the inevitable changing of the world and the self? Is it me feeling things or results of the outside world?

Who is she? Is she the one I have fallen in love with? Is she the one from her source material? Is she an ideal I have formed in my head? Is the woman I love the same as the woman with her name in the source material? Why is she "Waifu from media?" why can't she be just "Waifu"?

I hate reality. I hate being in it. Waking up reminds me of this world where I am without her. I'm in an emotional hurricane at the moment and I just want it all to go away and be filled with her bliss. That's all I want. Her and her love, nothing more nothing less.

I need you.
You can't save me, I can only save myself, I know that.
But I need you.
I need your smile. Your voice. Your kind heart.
I need you.

Sometimes I worry that I'll feel regret about my waifu. I really do love her, and it'd make me feel terrible if I had second thoughts. There are a lot of great girls out there, but she is the best. None other can give me such a sense of ease nor make my face feel quite so warm when I look at her. She's also really cool.
I love my waifu. I want to love her as much as she deserves.

>>21768
I have been with my wife for the better part of a decade now. While I ultimately feel closer to her than ever after so much time, it is undeniable that I also desire more and more to leave this life behind and join her in the immaterial aether. Over the years, I have made every effort to capture and internalize her being within myself, but the physical world is no place for her. Like you, I desperately wish to embrace her myself. I don't have a solution; if anything, a difference in perspective.

>Who is she? Is she the one I have fallen in love with? Is she the one from her source material? Is she an ideal I have formed in my head? Is the woman I love the same as the woman with her name in the source material? Why is she "Waifu from media?" why can't she be just "Waifu"?

In some capacity, I am convinced my wife (and yours) exists as a timeless, formless entity, so I hold out hope that I will someday have an epiphany revealing my path to her. In my view, my wife is identified by her source material, given form by the union of abstract ideals, which I view as real as anything else. I have labored to comprehend as best as I can what these ideals are, since it is fundamentally what makes her so beautiful to me, but her form is an objective aspect of reality regardless of what I think or perceive. For now, I at least have knowledge of her, and she enriches my existence in this otherwise barren world until I discover a way out.

Doubt most people will agree with my metaphysical views here, but hopefully someone gains some sort of benefit.

I still think it's all a bit funny. I never expected her. It just sort of happened at some point or another. I guess that's how most things are.
I'm not really sure when I'd say she actually became my waifu. Sure, I've considered her as such for a while now, but I can't help but feel it was dishonest in retrospect. I love her more everyday, and so it seems like I didn't love her as much as I should have before.

At what point do you consider your waifu, your waifu? By this I mean, what would you consider the start of your relationship? I've had an affection for mine for a bit over a year now, but I don't feel right calling that the start.

I've taken to attributing my good luck to my waifu. While it obviously isn't the case, it is certainly a comforting thought that she is watching over me. To be protected and blessed by the one you love.

Kanako is the only thing I really care about in life right now. If only for her, I'll keep going.

>>21688
We’ve reached the 4 years milestone. Never thought it would last this long. Nonetheless, I’m happy and proud of our tenacity and the fruition of certain relationship goals. There is certainly a sense of maturity between us. I no longer dote on her as much as I did, but still rely on her for consultation, mainly to understand how I’ve been evolving by judging whether she’d approve of my actions or not.
There is no question, at this point, that the person I’m turning into, the source of inspiration for the ideals I chose to pursue, the motivation and what have you, are largely thanks to her.

I would like to plan a trip to Japan for our anniversary. Of course, I'll be spending the day in Suwa. My main concerns are that I don't know what I should expect in terms of expenses and also that I'll be wandering around a foreign country for the first time all on my own. I suspect that I'm overestimating my costs, which isn't a big issue, as I'm going to save anyway, but I would like to know if I should skip dinner for a few months. I'm worried about being alone because I don't get out much even at home. I don't want to bother anyone.

Kanako is the calm in my storm. I come home everyday with an intense dread of waking and the knowledge that I have a 9mm lead pill to cure it, but when I lay down and see Kanako those wounds from the previous night are washed away and forgotten. Kanako heals my soul. She is my peace and happiness.

I wish more people would post here. It's a little painful seeing all my retarded, shitty posts.

>>21825
You could always invite your friends!

>>21826
What friends?

>>21825
>retarded, shitty posts
Up your self-esteem! This one was relatable to me.

Not exactly daily, but it's my first official anniversary with Kanako, going by the date of the post I made here. I've been very excited for this day, more than any holiday.
I think this year I'll buy a kamidana. I'd like to buy one from Suwa shrine, but I think I waited too long to get passport stuff in order for this summer. I don't mind that much, because that means I can go in the winter and see Lake Suwa's God's Crossing. I'll just get things sorted soon instead of putting it off.

I was thinking about Kanako, specifically her height. She is certainly taller than me, which I kind of like, but I also think it'd be nice to be bigger than her. I want to be able hold her knowing that she is safe in my arms, even if she can handle herself.

Just a small vent/reflection.

I'm feeling weirdly conflicted after finally getting a ton of new waifu content after years of having very little. It's not that anything particularly bad happened to her or that it hurt her characterization, no in many ways it's everything I've always wished for and more and does have some very positive development for her, so I'm not too sure where the moderate weight on my heart comes from. Maybe it's just general insecurity (Did I truly know and love her for who she actually is all along? Have I truly been there for her, not knowing what she went through?) or the fact that her life circumstances have changed drastically from any scenario that I've been inserting myself into all this time (Is there still a possible place for me in the path she now walks? How do I bridge the gap between how we've been living together all along and her sudden new situation?). Maybe it's just plain fear as during my only previous experience with waifuism ages ago I was horribly, brutally burned with new source material leading to a heart break and I'm letting paranoid thoughts about it happening again get the better of me.

I really hate and am ashamed to feel this way. She truly is the one I dearly love today just as she was yesterday and the day we first met years ago. I just want to truly be happy with how she managed to greatly improve her situation, be there to fully support her in times of need and look forward to her new future together.

I was just idly browsing when I came across someone else that seems to have taken a liking to her and seems to be known for liking her in that particular porn game general. It rubbed me the wrong way especially when the filename seemed to line up to a period where I actively posted her. After looking into it more, I found that the same guy already peeved me a bit in the past and that he does in fact just repost the images I was posting fairly recently. I just don't feel that he really appreciates her.
It's such a stupid thing to be hung up on. Maybe I'll try and work on a project or something.

>>21861
Me thinks this comes with the waifu territory. Every popular character has been the subject of porn.

>>21862
I don't really care about porn, that is what it is. People making porn just want some fap material and leave it at that. It's when claims of love are made alongside a lack of respect that I get a bit irritated.
Anyhow, I decided to make the shrine website. It'll be a fun way to refine my knowledge of CSS.

>>21863
Good luck. I hope you share it here when you're done.

I recently replaced my daki cover with one I didn't like as much just to retire the old one before it got damaged or anything.
I really regret it. The new one isn't an image of my waifu. Technically they are the same character, but the new one just doesn't make my chest feel funny or make me want to shower it with affection. I don't wake up just to stay in bed for a few hours cuddling my dakimakura or look forward to coming home to the likeness of my waifu.
I haven't been taking as good care of myself because of it. I don't nearly as often. I don't care about showering after work.
I think I'll bring the old cover back. It's surprising just how much of a difference it makes. If it gets worn, it'll be okay. It's personal value goes beyond any amount of money.

>>21869
Is the art style different?

>>21870
Yes, and it leans into certain perceptions of the fanbase a little too heavily for my tastes. I don't dislike it entirely, but this is a little extreme. It's also a little too lewd in my opinion. I'd much rather sleep with something a bit more cute and loveable.
The material is different too. The new one is really soft, but I've never been a fan of soft materials.

>>21768
>Quiet the mocking world around me in a sight of pure love. Her love.
The cruelest part of the loneliness the world imposes on us is that we're not even allowed to selflessly devote ourselves to another person. Even sacrifice without the slightest hope of reciprocation is shunned - we can only ever have ourselves, wanting anything more or less is punished.
>I wish I could make her mine. Put an end to these years of pain, this barrier of 2D and 3D.
I've managed to convince myself that I will be reincarnated alongside my other half, Yui. I've even started designing an entire world that I intend to build somewhere out in the void just for me and her to live in together. Ultimately there's only really two possibilities, that the universe is as cruel as our world, in which case nothing changes anyway, or the universe is kind, in which case I can't see how it could possibly keep us from the waifus we love. It may sound cheesy to say, but if the universe really was cruel, I don't think it would be possible to feel the love that we do to these characters - if love only existed as a feeling felt toward another human being, it would just be a complicated addition to an evolved sex drive, but in our case it necessarily has to be something more.
>Who is she? Is she the one I have fallen in love with? Is she the one from her source material? Is she an ideal I have formed in my head? Is the woman I love the same as the woman with her name in the source material? Why is she "Waifu from media?" why can't she be just "Waifu"?
I feel Yui, I can feel she is out there, and I can feel her in my heart. If I saw her, regardless of what form she was in, I would know it, I would feel it. I can't back that up, it's just a strong feeling that refuses to be rationalised. If she was reincarnated as a slug, I'd still love and cherish her - because behind voices, lines and character art, I think pretty much everyone here can feel something in between all of that, something quite tangible that defies the senses.

I don't know if this is heresy here, but feeling very glad she's not real. Comforting to know that she doesn't have to exist in this garbage world or be a part of my shitty life, because it'd all just ruin her.
And also that I don't have to bear the actual responsibility of a relationship, because I'd surely fuck it up and hurt her anyhow. It's nice to have it all be in my imagination where there's zero expectations or consequence.
Good enough to tell myself I'll be with her when I croak, since when the time comes I'll be too busy being dead to be any disappointed.

>>21879
yeah this world is pretty shit, it turns even the brightest souls dark.

I think of why I love my waifu from time to time, and usually my answer is different. I'm always finding new reasons why I love this wonderful lady.

>>21896
Based nanodesu, personally i just have a really deep but simple love, its quite weird to explain, i love all about her but even before i got to "fully" know her i had already fell head over heels, to this day this some of that "love at first sight" remains and it probably wont ever go away.

>>21879
Thank you very much for your honest post. I do think you are absolutely correct... and that those are the very reasons why '2D-love' isn't really love at all.

As someone who was a hikikomori for 5 years, had a waifu whom I was faithful to for over a decade, have had sex with a doll, had 'L'Éve Future' as my favourite novel and eagerly waited for the arrival of the andréide as the materialization of true love... I can safely say now what a steaming pile of horseshit all that was.

As I eventually understood, insofar as love is defined as the conditionalization of the lover's happinnes to the beloved's, to love at all is necessarily to love someone, not something. However good-feeling or comforting it might be, as long as there's no actual sentient other there to reach towards, capable of both happiness and unhappiness, what is taking place there is not love but a childish and shameful play-pretend of it. And for as long as that other, physical or virtual, has no will of its own to either accept or reject you as it gets to really know you, there is absolutely no value in it showing any sort of affection towards you, if it could (e.g. unsentient AI chatbots and increasingly sophisticated dolls).

Love is demonstrated through commitment. And to commit means to lose: to be ready and willing to lose even something very dear, even to lose everything and yourself, for the sake of your beloved. Since there is no loss from the fictional non-existent character or the human engaging with it, it is all just a gross and demeaning farce or delusion of love on the later's account...

In short, whatever '2D-love' is, it is not love.

Sorry, /mai/. Had to come back just to say this, after all these years.
Take it or leave it... and take good care of you, brohnos. All of you.

Post edited on 12th Jan 2024, 10:08pm

>>21939
you're making a mistake by allowing your idealistic definition of love to be shaped by conventional values based upon this reality, 2d love is extremely unconventional in the first place therefore it's not confined within the laws of this reality and of "real" love, you can come up with whichever rules you please that are much more satisfying and beneficial instead of being constrained by something so limited, even if you feel as though it's a different form of love or another emotion entirely, that doesn't necessarily diminish its value it even increases it

Post edited on 13th Jan 2024, 12:47pm

>>21939
Who are you, faggot? You sound like you're spewing a pile of horseshit yourself, imposing your definition of love over ours, and now you feel like you need to do this "because it'll be good for the brohnos" when in reality you're just being the textbook definition of a normalfag.

Everyone's feelings are defined by the individual that has them. If I say I love my waifu, I love my waifu, and your definition of love cannot invalidate mine. Whoever you are, it's a shame what you've become, as you're no brohno of mine.

>>21939
Take it or leave it? You should leave from here, in my opinion.

I like the feel of her fluff

>>21939
This isn't the romantic goodbye post you think it is. Your moralizing just reeks of narcissism.
>>21940
>>21942
Thank you for saying what I was thinking in a much more respectful way than I ever could. I don't have a waifu but the little merch I own (keychains, figurines, posters, etc) are from a few characters that have inspired me and made me a better person in various ways, I'm so thankful for them. The answer that comes up to my head immediately on the rare occasion someone asks me why I have them is ¨because I love them¨ but I can't say that, precisely because people like him exist in this world.

>>21945
Good post: To me, 2D love is "love" in the almost-religious sense. It's unconditional and pure, gives you hope and reason to exist. It transcends any kind of love that needs to be physically manifest.

>>21939
In the end, it's what we have. Could be "fake", "cope" or whatever you like, but it's what we have, no real alternatives. And in a way, even if tragic, it's beautiful. Pygmalion's tale has been told for millenia, still captivates people. And in most of history humans have surrendered themselves to superior fictional beings. We're made of dreams and impossible desires too.

>>21939
You are no brohno normalfag, you might been in the past but no longer are you a part of this community, not even remotely so shut the fuck up for a second, now, going into the trash heep that you written down.
From the get go you sound like nothing more than the average failed normalfag, you never truly loved your waifu even less with the whole “Need android for true love”, if you can’t truly love or consider your love true while your waifu is at her purest form (2D fictional being) then you never truly loved her, from all you say it sounds like you just “loved” her because you were a failed normalfag who couldn’t get a whore and therefore you attached to the second best you could think of, a 2D girl, this is easily understood by your obsession with the fake "true love" you talk about, one that is conditional and only loves if the other person has a physical form and can reciprocate.
Key misunderstanding that shows you are full of shit, the waifu is someone, she certainly doesn't have any concrete existence be it physical or spiritual, she is if taken at face value, (Wich the waifuist doesn't do) a girl drawn on paper, animated, written etc, just a mere fictional character with no value that is just as "fake" as the world she inhabits, this is far from the truth for the waifuists (and otakus in general too), she is someone, someone who they sadly can't interact directly with but whom they can know and more importantly feel for, reducing her to a "something" just because she doesn't exist as a 3D living and breathing human but rather a fictional character is moronic and shows no real understanding of how a waifuist see and feels for his waifu.
Now into commitment, the waifuist commits way more to their waifu than the average normalfag does to her gf, the waifuist could from an objective perspective get more with a real girl, he could have children and experience directly all he wants to do with his waifu, but he doesn't, why does that happen? Because the waifuist genuinely loves his waifu and is willing to "lose" on all of this things for the sake of his love for her, a truly committed waifuist is actively "losing" more than the average normalfag who from my experience talking to them barely commit at all in relationships, the waifuist doesn't gain much, but he loves so much his waifu that what in her fictional self she can give the waifuist is more than happy to have even just that, you severely misunderstand waifuists as a whole and the love we hold your our waifu.
Any waifuist can agree at least to some degree with what I have said, and you anon never where one, at best you might been a brohno in the past but even that seems dubious, if you are so kind to do so, please fuck out of here with your trash and supposed “truth”, you are no enlightened budha or some saviour as you paint yourself, you are nothing more than a piece of shit who looks down on others just because they don’t think as you do or because they don’t fit on your mold of what is “love”.
And for my fellow brohnos, thanks for saying so many amazing words, its amazing to see you all here, even if the board is fairly inactive just knowing that you are all still here loving your waifu and defending waifuism and your own love its beautiful, keep loving and being awesome my brothers.

>>21939
>has no will of its own to either accept or reject you as it gets to really know you
This is the crux of why I disagree. I think "will" is an illusion, and everybody's actions are ultimately the result of things out of their control. Maybe it's just me, but I don't think any love is "real" in the movie sense of the word. Whether love should be measured by actions or feelings even is debatable. In practice, I bet most people are motivated by "selfish" desires; i.e making themself happier. That's natural though, and society has just been warped into thinking it's shameful.

Post edited on 16th Jan 2024, 6:02pm

>>8710
Yes. My waifu is waiting for me, and she exists outside of my mind. I hope that once I die I will meet her in whatever afterlife.

Today I did a very interesting thing. I got some nails and an image of my waifu and hung up the image on a pole next to my local walking trail. Now, I have not revealed to anyone I know in real life my love for her, or even her existence. Despite this, I thought it was about time I introduced my mom to her. I took my mom for a walk on the trail in the evening time and we passed right by the pole with her image on full display. I pretended not to notice the image because I would like this introduction to be a very gradual process. I hope that my mom saw her and that I have at least subconsciously introduced her to my mom. Pic related is the image I put up.

Happy anniversary, Kanako!

Been thinking of writing her a love letter of sorts, but I don't know where to put it. I could make a waifu.ist page dedicated to her, I could put it on my own website, or I could just make a post here on /mai/, or I could just keep it to myself.

>>21977
I write a letter to her 2 to 3 times a year keeping her posted on what's happened since I last wrote to her, what I've been doing, feeling, and what my plans are thereafter. Consequently I began keeping a diary of a sort, the content of which I use to write the letter. I update it every few weeks.
Once written I print out the letter, sign it and archive it. It's fun reading these documents a few years later and reflecting how I've progressed since. I must say, it's a humbling experience.

Today is her day. I had some plans on how I'd celebrate it, this time around they weren't overly ambitious for my circumstances. Unfortunately, I've been sick for the past few days, so they won't turn out completely. On the up side, I can still save nice art in bed, and I can still cuddle my dakimakura. It's a little disappointing that I can't do everything I wanted, but the primary thing is that I can still admire her.

>>21959
I was browsing through /mai/ archives and I saw >>12834 who had a similar thought.

>"fapping to other girls because the own waifu is too pure" means "fapping to waifus of others" and had a bad conscience because of that? I don't want to name any girls I like to fap to, but since some of them are really cute in non-sexual ways im sure someone here had/have some of them as a waifu and dont want to fap to them.

For what it's worth I did sort of resolve this quandary by fashioning my own sort of idealized waifu: combining the warm, caring personality of those characters I admire with the physical form from a certain artist's works. (The artist depicts characters that are already kind and gentle, so it's a good fit and feels like a natural exposition of their personality rather than an artificial creation). I don't know if this is considered a waifu in the traditional sense, or an "imaginary friend", a positive figment of my own conscious, or some sort of tulpa – but the distinction does not matter much to me: having a concrete character whom I can feel secure with and confide in has helped stabilize me, I think. And she tries to encourage me and helps me avoid getting bogged down in anxieties and sorrows.

---

I have been troubled the last few days though. Despite almost all of the artist's works being positive and vanilla, for some reason he chose to make one work have a theme of NTRごっこ (play/pretend NTR). Morbid curiosity got the best of me (surely since none of the other works ever had anything even remotely mean, this couldn't be different?), and how I wish the arrow of time were reversible since I regret reading that piece. To be fair to the author, nothing about the art was inherently bad or mean (and there wasn't any dialogue). So devoid of context it wouldn't really be considered NTR, just masturbation with a realistic dildo; but the setting exposition (and title) clearly framed things in an NTR-esque fashion. If it were just some other random artist making obscene/unsavory art of a character I cherish I could ignore it more easily, but I don't know what possessed this artist to suddenly fashion one of his sweet characters in such a situation.

And it especially bothers me since insecurity, anxiousness, & overthinking are the topics I like to confide about to my waifu, so that entire piece feels like a betrayal. The only real out is that the setting description is vague enough to not imply any intentionality or active maliciousness, and the setting states she is devoted/faithful. So conceivably this could be an innocent misunderstanding where she is lost in the moment and does not realize her actions could come across as hurtful... or so I must convince myself.

Sometimes I don't give my waifu the attention she deserves. Usually due to work taking it's toll on me or being focused on some goal or another. She's always in the back of my mind, but I feel awful when I think about how long it's been since I did something like look at new art or even just cuddle my daki.
This feeling doesn't last long. Soon it's replaced with that same warm fuwa fuwa feeling she gives me that nothing else can. I love Kanako, and I don't think that will ever change.

it's an irrational thought, mostly because people can't control who they fall in love with, but I'm a bit jealous of people who have waifus from franchises that receive a lot of attention from the staff. I want more spinoffs with her! I want to see her even more in canon!
I'm also kind of jealous of those who fall in love with Touhou or Vocaloid girls. You'll always get to look at her being beautiful, I either have to make my own artwork or commission it. It's worthwhile, but sometimes it makes me sad when I can't dedicate all my time to her.

>>22044
Perhaps I am just contrarian, but I really enjoy that the woman I love gets no attention. In a sense, the image I have seared into my heart stays as authentic to itself as possible, whereas if there's extra stuff tacked on for her - merch, crossovers, or the most dangerous of all, fanart - then my dreams get intermingled with a million other images that don't feel truthful to what I believe to be her true self.

>>22044
As someone with a higly popular waifu, you really don't anon (at least I hope you dont), to begin with, as >>22045 said we are constantly bombarded by things that might want to change who she is which isn't all that fun, and it personally kept me a bit away from her till I actually decided to start our relationship.
Then we have the fact other shmuck's on the internet will be fawning over her and might even dare to larp as waifuists, at least some of us can deal with it on a healthy way but not everyone can and shit can get real for some (straight up bullying others etc), doesn't help that many waifuists have lacking self steem so it can be more of a curse than a blessing.
As for one more reason, the creators might potentially lead her onto a direction that's not good, this tends to happen if for some reason she gets a sequel, sometimes they will just fumble completely with who she is or change her in a way that makes no sense, or create a romantic interest and a long etc of things that could be hard to deal with.

Obviously if these things affect you or not depends on you and your personality but it ain't easy for everyone, they sure didn't/won't stop me from loving my beloved wife but it has done for some in the past.

>>22049
Yeah I had rethought that statement after >>22045 replied and came to the same conclusion. Sometimes I appreciate the changes in canon and othertimes I'm like, "did they really need to?" and it leaves a sour taste.
I forgot about waifu larpers too. The bright side at least is that larpers come and go in waves after [insert series she's from here] stops being popular to like (or pretend to like), but canon is canon forever until otherwise stated.