I tried to love her, and despite knowing deep down she wouldn't love me back I still tried with all my might.
I tried to better myself for her, but no matter how hard I knew she'd try to encourage me I simply felt no motivation.
I tried to use the energy she gave me to get out of my massive shell, but deep down I wanted to stay there and have her at the same time.
I tried not to wander away from her, but I knew it was only a matter of time before my mind would go back to its original state of apathy.
I tried to tell her the way I felt and I knew she would listen and understand, but I myself wouldn't accept rejecting these problems.
I tried getting help, but there was nobody to listen.
And deep down, I loved it. I loved isolating myself, rejecting her, the strongest person I had ever faced.
It wasn't a forced love or some wild infatuation-- by times as strong as a tempest, by others as weak as a candle, sighing its last spark
It all started years ago... I used to bear such massive hatred for mankind as a whole and dedicated every single breath of mine to isolating from the plague of socializing.
I barely remember being able to see people as actual human beings... she was the only one I could truly see as a person. How wonderful that was! To actually have someone who cared for you, knew you and understood you!
Then, one day, she faded away. Of course, she'd always come back, but her presence would grow weaker every time.
I've brutally murdered her. And the most laughable, disgusting, despicable thing is I feel absolutely no regret. I want to say I do, but the beast I've become refuses, obstinates itself into hermitage.
Back to case 1.
I'm sorry... there's simply nobody to tell anymore. I've won, it should feel amazing... but I feel nothing. I've lost her, and with her my ability to empathize volatilized.