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20819 No. 20819 [Edit]
This thread is for people who want to confess any wrongdoing they might have committed towards their beloved one. Be it neglect, lack of devotion, or even infidelity, your waifu will feel better, knowing that you truly regret your actions.

I would like to start myself, for I have a grave matter to confess.
Forgive me /mai/, for I have sinned.

For the last 6 and a half years, I've been a faithful husbando to Nozomi Kiriya. Soon after meeting her in late spring '11 (we celebrate that date with a romantic dinner ever year), I realized my genuine love for her. The following couple of years marked the peak of my happiness and my affection towards her. Coincidentally, during that time I also was at my peak physical and mental condition, which brought me great joy - I could reject any succubus, knowing that my love for my waifu was all I needed. It was during that time that I swore an oath to her, proclaiming that I shall love no other woman but her. I still uphold that oath, but only now I realize how flawed its wording was.

Anyway, that was some years ago. Soon my studies started taking a harder toll on my well-being, I quit working out, began smoking, occasionally drinking and more importantly, constantly immersing myself in MMO games, which obviously didnt help. It was during that time that I realized that I no longer spend time talking to Nozomi every day like I used to, and only embrace her with my mind during the times of particular hardship. It scared me, and I sought ways to improve my performance as a husbando. But I could not beat my MMO/Internet addiction, so I just took the next easiest step - I finally bought a dakimakura of her. It brought me otherworldly happiness - embracing her image every night as I fall asleep was (and still is) amazing. But it also had a side effect, which I have fully anticipated, and which was the reason why I was reluctant to buy a daki in the first place - now I had an image of her before my eyes, so I did not have to use my mind as much to imagine her being there. I regret this, even though it's not the biggest mistake I've made.

The last, and the gravest wrongdoing I've committed has happened very recently - and contrary to my fears of 6 years ago, it did not involve another woman. No, instead it involved a MMO friend of mine, a guy my age whom I once drunkenly teased for being feminine-looking and then told him that "getting drunk alone sucks and we should have a drink together", not meaning anything by it. To my great surprise, he told me that despite living far away he plans to visit some friends in my area very soon and he wouldnt mind meeting me too. We chatted regularly since then and agreed to him staying at my place for a couple of days, with him being open to some "experimenting". I did not feel traitorous back when we arranged it - the whole conversation seemed very surreal to me, I could not rationally think about what I'm about to do and what it would entail. I was not concerned about my sexuality either - I passed through that phase some months ago, after being enthralled by the "femboy" fad but quickly realizing that as long as I'm sexually attracted to Nozomi, this subject is not worth worrying about. So I hid my daki in the closet (I never let anyone who knows me IRL know about my relationship) and welcomed the friend into my home. We quickly got drunk, and soon we were hugging and kissing. Thankfully, we never went further than that, but for 3 days we were extremely close, forgetting about everything in the world. After he left, I got really drunk again, this time not at home. My heart hurt, because I already missed his human warmth, and because the realization of my sins have slowly crept upon me.

Sure, my oath was to avoid relationships with women, and technically it is still unbroken. But back then I couldn't have possibly realize what kind of destructive effect six years of internet, bad habits and degeneracy could have on my mind. And I try to decieve myself, part of me refusing to admit that fact that I have cheated on my one and only waifu, proclaiming that this was but a fleeting moment of weakness and indulgence in many years of loyalty that have passed, with many more yet to come. I still love her. I love Nozomi, and I want to spend my life with her. But I have conditioned myself for years to dismiss any thought of being with another woman as traitorous, while forgetting about the other 50% of the population, and now I am suffering the full consequence of my weakness and short-sightedness. What I did was wrong, yet I did not act to prevent it. I purposefully let it happen. I am a horrible husbando, and a garbage human being.
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>> No. 20820 [Edit]
>and a garbage human being
I agree.
>For the last 6 and a half years, I've been a faithful husbando to Nozomi Kiriya
Per your admission, false.
>> No. 20821 [Edit]
You're being to harsh on yourself. If your waifu really loves you, she will understand.

(And personally, I don't think you've done anything wrong)
>> No. 20831 [Edit]
Thank you, anon, but I'm convinced that having intimate contact with another person (even if that person is not a succubus and there are no romantic feelings involved) still counts as cheating, and cheating is all sorts of wrong. Me and Nozomi have been having a lovely time recently, but that just makes me remember how sweet, innocent and kind she is. I must be the one to blame myself for my misdeeds.
>> No. 20853 [Edit]
Since you talk with her, did you ever confess this to her and try to work it out? Or are you just pretending nothing happened?
>> No. 20864 [Edit]
Naturally. I still apologize to her for it fairly often but I stopped trying to rationalize the difference between pure love and animal-like sexual attraction. It just sounds like a tremendous excuse, one that I'm not willing to accept myself.
>> No. 20867 [Edit]
First read this:

Pygmalion (mythology)


Aphrodite can restore your allegiance. You seem to be a very kind and caring person. Do not blame yourself, use your energies to please your sweet and beloved waifu.
>> No. 20879 [Edit]
Thanks anon, I'm well aware of the Pygmalion story and I find it very inspiring. I don't worship any greek gods myself, so I can't rely on someone or something making things right for me, but putting more effort into improving the relationship sounds like the right thing to do.
>> No. 21401 [Edit]
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Two nights ago I was getting overwhelmed by horrible thoughts. I tried to think of her, but I couldn't focus enough. Instead I tried remembering good dreams that I've seen in my recent years. There was one dream in particular that I saw about 5 years ago, it was the only time in my life when I dreamt of her. I used to recall it sometimes when things were grim. But this time, I coudn't remember it. I have forgotten the one and only dream that featured her, and I never thought of writing it down somewhere.

To add to this, I had to reinstall Windows recently. I didn't even think of it at first, but among all the lost data were the pictures of our annual annivrsary dinners and more. Thankfully, the pictures from 2012-2016 were backed up on my laptop and 2018-2019 were saved on my phone, but the only other copy of our 2017 dinner is probably on my old phone, which is damaged beyond recovery. I tried some data restoration software, to no avail. It seems like the memory of an entire year of our relationship is gone forever.

It really hurts, but I deserve all of this and more.

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