>>25903
>I used to look at them and think with some pleasure that I was living in a different world, like a ghost gazing at aliens.
I used to feel this way, too, but now I sorely miss being so detached. Having been forced to become more engaged in the world around me just to get by, I feel as if I'm wandering ever deeper into a desert without a drop of water. I've lost touch with some vital, authentic part of myself: left it behind inside of me in a place I can no longer venture. I find myself wondering if it would be different if I still had a place where I could divulge my inner thoughts, a place where others divulged theirs and I could relate to them, or if even the anonymous imageboards of my past would fail to connect with me now. I am adrift. I'm 35 years old, and for years my life has felt like I made the wrong choice at some crucial event flag and got myself onto the path of a bad end. Except that nothing has ever felt like a choice. All I can do is watch my mental health decay a little more each day.

Apologies for rambling, and being a bit of a downer, but thank you for the opportunity to reflect.

>>25938
In my experience, the more I get into the world, the more unhappy I feel, and getting more isolated from it always gaves me peace.
It can be anything, some human interaction or reading the newspaper, it decreases, even if just slightly, my mood. I think the rest of humans just work the complete opposite so if I weren't conscious about this I would be completely miserable.

Escapism is the closest we can get to salvation

>>25910
Is this channel a 500 or so subs that uploads the soundtracks generally track by track, and in many tracks he puts a picture of the Synthesizer/something device he has? Most of his videos don't have even 20 views.

>>25961
Shit, sorry to take this long to respond. I'm not saying which channel it is, but most channels on Youtube are wastelands like that. People posting stuff that almost nobody watches.

Recently I had one of my comments deleted by the channel's owner. It was really just a message thanking the person for making the content and assuring someone out there was watching it. It's literally all I said. If I had a YT channel I would be very happy to receive such comment but that just shows how different people are. I see no reason to obliterate that message but there you go. Kinda felt like shit for a while, wondering if the message was too positive for today's internet and the person assumed I was being ironic? I really don't know. I stopped commenting on this particular channel because I'm afraid instead of improving someone's day I'm making it worse.

>>26064
>most channels on Youtube are wastelands like that.
Yeah, that's true. Just the the day I made that post I found a channel just that way, and then I thought "what a coincidence! Must be the same", but really there are many like it.
>If I had a YT channel I would be very happy to receive such comment but that just shows how different people are
>I see no reason to obliterate that message but there you go.
Things like that happen, people act very differently. Years ago, 9 or 7 years ago, there was this big but not so big youtube channel I was subscribed to. The guy who ran it had this idea of raiding other people's livestreams, and making his subscribes interact with those near-zero subscribers channels. Most people were happy to see movement and people checking their channel out, but I remember the first "victim" of this was a guy streaming Minecraft to less than 8 viewers, he had hundreds and hundreds of people come to his channel, and comment on his live, and he just looks at the counter and says "Uhm, whatever" and goes back like nothing happened.

>>25903
I don't know how people can live for so long. I'm still so young and I've almost completely lost patience and interest in life. It feels like a drag that I just want to end. I'm beginning to think most suicides aren't passionately sad, or even depressed in the clinical or emotional sense, but that they've just gotten sick of being alive. Every day I feel less and less inhibition to the idea of turning out the lights. And it's strange, because there's nothing particularly bad happening to me right now. There's really nothing for me to complain about at all. But I think about spending all that effort to live to 80 years and die anyway and think "why bother"? It feels like life is just dragging on for way too long and I want to get it over with. Again I have to make clear, it's not an emotional thing. I really feel like this is a practical concern, like I'm weighing the budget of some activity or program and deciding that it's not worth the expense. Although who knows, the last 6 years passed me by at light speed and I only just found out how long it had been two months ago when I, for the first time, compared the time I spent in highschool and college to the time I spent out of it and found out that I've actually been out for longer than I was in. That entire section of my life, was no more than the brief period of time I spent drifting for what felt like 2 years but in reality was much longer. Maybe I'll hit 35 before I even know it.

>>26234
My life hasn't been particularly great, but I would like to live forever. The times I have thought about dying it was related to being into bad situations and seeing no exit from it, but I never hated life itself. And I hate myself, my self-hate is my biggest issue by far, so I suspect the difference with you is how I'm still able to enjoy things in the world. Even if everything sucks I'm still fascinated by so many things. I'm old and I carry all the weights but I haven't lost that.

>>26235
> but I would like to live forever
That would be my worst fear (and relatedly, if reincarnation were real then spawning endlessly on earth to complete the same cycle seems the embodiment of drudgery). I am fascinated by things, but that only really serves to counter the boringness of everything else.

>>26235
I used to want to live forever, but now the idea just seems tiring to me. I would argue in the past that we haven't ever been immortal and can't really know what it's like to claim it would be objectively bad. I still believe that, but personally I already find life so tiring that even if I could live forever, without eating or getting hurt or having any commitments, I would rather just lay down and go to sleep.

>>26237
>we haven't ever been immortal
Immortality won't necessarily guarantee good quality of life though. You can remain "alive" but stuck in a wheelchair because all of your bones have weakened and your eyesight has deteriorated. Or are we assuming that by immortality we also have the ability to restore/rejuvenate all bodily functions back to their peak?

>>26240
Immortality doesn't guarantee jack shit, because it's never happened before in recorded history. I could literally make up any random rule I wanted for immortality, it doesn't really add anything to the conversation to say that kind of stuff. But typically, when someone talks about immortality, they're assuming that they're talking about one that stops the deteriorating processes of aging at the very least. It's not hypothetically possible to have immortality if the body can deteriorate with scars or aging or anything because the body will distort beyond human form and eventually cell walls will break down and any claim to being "alive" will end, thus by definition not being immortality. There are too many different types of immortality in fiction and myth for me to cover them all in one post, but it's a good assumption to make when talking about it generally that immortality freezes the aging process at whatever stage it was already at, at the very least. Yeah there's shit like the greek myth where the guy turned into a grasshopper after aging for so long but I consider that an "extra element" to immortality beyond any basic form of immortality, perfect regeneration, or eternal youth. There's literally no frame of reference for making a judgement on the quality of immortality so I find it to be a pretty banal conversation to have. Almost all of them involve something that happens in real life anyway, does that assume then that real life is not worth living? We all have regrets, we will all see someone we know die well before our own death. You will watch your parents, siblings, and friends die someday. You will have regrets, and you will miss people or things or characters for years after they are gone. You will age, grow decrepit and weak and spend most of your years not being as fit as a 20 year old. That is already a condition of life, immortality changes nothing about that.

>>26241
>There's literally no frame of reference for making a judgement on the quality of immortality
Well AKTCHOOALY *puts on extra thick rim glasses* there's a species of jellyfish that has biological immortality(doesn't die from aging). What it looks like is it aging to maturity and then returning to a juvenile state in an indefinite cycle. Humans probably wont be able to do this because of our far higher complexity. I always imagined immortality to be like being stuck at 25ish, since that's fully matured, but right before deterioration starts.

>>26242
See always thought that immortality would stick you right around 17, which I thought was the perfect age in a lot of ways. I did start thinning way back at 21 though. As for that jellyfish , that's pretty neat. I thought everything like that was technically still aging and would die eventually after 500 years or so.

Immortality is part of what is motivating me to invest in the stock market. I want to live forever but I know that if that was to ever become a possibility it would be something that only the rich could afford.

I don't ever want to die.

>>26244
I wonder why immortality wouldn't become as commonplace as healthcare if it turned out to not be energy-intensive. After all, if it still requires people to eat then you've got yourself an immortal workforce. Out of curiosity, are there any innovations which never moved out of the phase of only being for the rich due to expense? Something at least 30-40 years old, obviously nothing to early to tell.

>>26245
We don't know what form immortality would take or how much that would cost. However, even if it was relatively cheap it would be in the interests of the government of the world to make it too expansive for the masses.

We are already going to have populations problems so having a population that nearly cannot die is only going to worsen that. They could try regulating births but it's really not possible or realistic and even if you did there would still have to be a way for people to have children and being a natural impulse large enough numbers would strive to do this so you would have to steralise the population at birth and make the procedure to fix that prohibitively expensive which puts you back in square one only with the added cost of having to steralise everybody and the political uproar that would cause.

In the US I think there are as they actually have to pay for it or have health care so a rare $50,000 procedure would not be covered, in civilized countries it generally is though. There may be a limit on that but I would not know what.

>>26245
>>26246
It's always a good idea to have money, I agree with that part. Another good idea is accepting you will die. There's absolutely no way you'll be able to live indefinitely. It's not going to happen with or without money.

>>26247
How do you define being alive? What if something could think without meeting the biological definition of alive?

>>26248
Not him but there are already computers that have more of a capacity to think than many if not most living things, insects are dumb. We would still say they are alive though so I would not say that a computer could be considered alive no matter how smart it was.

>>26246
You could always just steal it. I think if it ever got out that immortality had been developed, even a stop-gap, there would be people willing to risk a lot to get it, especially if it was impossible for a normal person to acquire it just by working hard for years.

>>26248
I would have to actually do some research to respond what I think alive means in strict technical terms, anon. One thing I believe to be certain though, >>26244 is human and hence he or she will definitely die someday. Hopefully many decades from now after having a great, wonderful life.
Besides, all things suffer decay, not only biological creatures. Even the sun doesn't stand a chance. Everything is subject to entropy.
>>26249
>insects are dumb
Rude!

>>26251
>Everything is subject to entropy
How'd the big bang happen then? We don't understand everything well enough to be defeatist yet.

>>26252
Even if the big bang defies entropy it still falls into the territory of the all encompassing killer: change

>>26244
>>26251
If you had immortality, even in a limited fashion that was still subject to entropy at the end of the universe, what would you want to do with it? Personally I'd like to travel the world a lot, and observe things like wars, any kind of war. I think it would be pretty neat to see how a guerilla war really plays out because this seems to be an enigma to the powers that be in the world. Hence the last 50 years of unsuccessful operations against tiny, mobile forces. I think in general even if my immortality made me invincible and I didn't have to really fear anyone as more than an inconvenience, I'd want to stay out of the public eye. Imagine having to spend thousands of years with people knowing who you are and following you around with cameras.

>>26256
Cult leader.

>>25672
Now that, sounds like a fate worse than death. If I could only see that in my future I would suicide as quickly as I could walk to a tall bridge.

Anyone 30+ still lurking around? Or is the meme true and we're all supposed to be extinct by now on these boards? Seems like every year there's fewer of us.

Granted, plenty of people get busier as they do advance research degrees, advance up their careers and end up with more family responsibilities.

Sometimes it all seems like a pie eating contest where the award is more bloody pie. Oh well. Time never stops back to being a net ghost.

>>26380
Maybe a more interesting question is if there is anybody under 20 lurking here.

>>26381
>>24553

>>26380
There used to be a handful of wizards here. There are people with families of their own on 4-ch, older anons just recline rather than go extinct, I think.

>>26380
I'm in my mid 30's. And I'm not particularly busy, I could still spend hours in imageboards, but I feel like that Steve Buscemi meme. Modern internet repels me, and I repel modern internet, but old habits are hard to forget.

>>26380
Yes. We're actually not that uncommon as it turns out. I do wonder how many of us are still weebs and how many just lurk ibs out of habit.

>>26380
I'm in my 30s, but I eventually lost interest in weeb stuff so I don't come to some of these boards much anymore.

>>26415
What are you interested in these days? For entertainment I mean.

>>26416
I used to like fantasy novels when I was a teenager and I got back into that. I've also been getting into roguelikes and some older CRPGs and strategy games. Also I have to work full-time now (I was a NEET for most of my 20s), so it's not exactly hard to fill my time; I always feel like I don't have enough of it.

10 years ago I binged anime every day.
Last year I only watched 1 or 2 shows plus reruns and the latest Jojo per season. Dorohedoro, Baki in China, reruns of Aria, and From the New World, and Jojo 5.
This year I am only watching Shadows House and waiting for Jojo 6.
When Jojo ends, I'll probably stop watching anime.

Anime is getting more boring. Moe Anime is declining as V-tubers rise because it's cheaper to produce and more profitable. Action, Fighting, and Mecha, Anime pale in comparison to what you can do in a video game. Romance and Ecchi lose to hentai. Miura of Berserk has abandoned crisp hand drawn lines to use a tablet and it shows. Togashi is ripping off Jojo 5 down to exact powers and the concept of Stands when he's not on permanent hiatus. The latest giant robot anime, Attack on Titan, ended with an 80% genocide as opposed to End of Evangelion that ended with a 99.9% genocide. Even the Edge has grown dull.

Anime, like all art, comes from the underworld and when Anime spends so much time in the normieworld, they neglect the underworld and lose creativity and things become bad.

>>26541
I don't think there's anything wrong with anime or that it has changed too much in last years, you are just losing interest because your particular circumstances. I've been reading "anime is losing creativity" or "x is killing anime" since the 90's, literally.

>>26541
I don't think moe is declining, certainly not due to V tubers, hentai has existed forever as have games, I don't know who Togashi is but I hate stands and think it was a shame they got rid of hammon so quickly in JoJo, the genocide in Evangelion wasn't really edgy either. It was barely anything at all, like the rest of the anime. The only criticism of anime I would have is that there is far more of it being made no than before, this is actually a good thing in that there is more of it but it means that some of it will be lower quality.

Post edited on 3rd May 2021, 1:38am

>>26543
Sailor Moon and its fans are the anathema.

>>26541
Anime has been dying ever since Felix the Cat introduced moelove to the industry. Ever since then, it's been a downhill climb.

>>26541
That's your mental illness/depression talking. Also your faulty expectations. There wasn't any genocide in Eva, that wasn't the point or what was being conveyed. If you watched it and thought "oh, this is an edgy bit where everybody dies because death is edgy", you didn't understand what was going on.

Post edited on 3rd May 2021, 4:54am

>>26547
Obviously we all live forever in the orange slime. Yeahhhh orange juice let me forget who I am that isn't like death at all.

>>26548
When you die you can't think. You have no mind whatsoever. Death is total annihilation of the mind from existence. And nobody forgot who they were either. There was no amnesia involved.

Post edited on 3rd May 2021, 9:01am

>>26548
They didn't die they melded into one, it was clearly a metaphor for the red menace.

I don't even watch or like Evangelion but Anno was influenced by the ending of Childhood's End. There is also nothing political about it.

>>26541
>Romance and Ecchi lose to hentai
Absolutely not. These are all 3 completely different forms of appeal, and most hentai anime is fucking terrible.
>Moe Anime is declining as V-tubers rise because it's cheaper to produce and more profitable
These are completely unrelated things, and as someone who seeks out moe/iyashikei series every season I can usually find one or two that fit that bill, for instance Super Cub this season.
>>26548
You realize they rejected instrumentality in the end right?

>>23738
I'm surprised by how late so many people get into anime.
I was born in '97. By age 3 I had already become 'obsessed' with Dragonball Z, Pokemon, Astro Boy, Sailor Moon. When Yugioh, One Piece and Naruto came out I got into them as well. By age 10 I was rent an entire set of anime series from the video store every week. It's been part of my life for as long as I can remember. Around 12 I got into Deathnote, Fullmetal Alchemist, Clannad, et al.

I stopped watching anime almost entirely from ages 18-22 but have gotten back into it recently, only to watch things that actually look interesting. I've been using image boards since 2010 just as another reference for anyone who cares enough to read.

>>26380
>Anyone 30+ still lurking around? Or is the meme true and we're all supposed to be extinct by now on these boards? Seems like every year there's fewer of us.
I don't see myself stopping from using these websites any time soon, so in four years the counter will tick up by one before resuming its decline.

>>26694
I've started to get into anime when I was almost 20 years old.