>>43112
Well, the options were to take the transfer or find a new job. Pretty sure their was their way of indirectly letting go of employees they didn't want to fire/lay off. They just didn't count on me having my mother in Texas. I technically could have stayed in Washington, but I wouldn't have been able to afford rent and was having no luck with job hunting.

>>43118
>And each time it only gets worse and worse as I loose my ability to cope and find meaning to this all.
Yeah it's a real motivation killer when it feels like no mater what you do, nothing really changes. I lost sight of the point, but I think it helped to give myself something to work towards. For a long time there I kept thinking about fixing up my old Junker of a car into something nice, maybe going full itsasha with it. It wasn't much but it gave me a little reason to keep going into work, which eventually turned more into stock investing and the hope of getting enough in passive income to not have to work. Life would still be pointless without having to work, but at least there would be time for all those little distractions.

>>43136
I think if I were in the US I would try to save up about $100k, then use maybe $25k of that money to buy an apartment in East Germany or some other former communist area with low real estate prices, then live off of passive income and savings for 10 years. Maybe do a menial job for 20 hours a week so that the money doesn't dry up.

>>43139
>$100k
You realize it's a lot of money?

>>43139
Cost of living would make that very difficult.
People from Mexico come here all the time with similar dreams and are lucky if they can even save $10,000 in ten plus years. Things aren't much better for locals. They say the average person here has less than $1,000 in savings.
The better the job you get the more expensive the cost of living will be near said job. If you're lucky you can get remote work and live somewhere cheap but there's been a lot of push back with that in recent years. Realistically you'll be spending most of your pay just for a place to sleep, bills, food, cost of transportation, and more. The only way you're getting to that price point is luck, starting a business and being one of the %1 that doesn't fail in the first year, decades of climbing some corporate ladder while using every trick and connection you can, doing some illegal shit, or basically becoming obsessed with money and working multiple jobs with various income streams outside of those jobs as you bruite force your way to the top.

>>43139
Would that really be enough? The amount I have is a little above that, and I live on passive income in Latin America. Comfortably, but with very little space for growth.

Another failure reporting in. Continue descend. Accelerate on the downwards spiral. Hope is successfully lost. No way out. Death imminent. Celebrate

Yesterday was my last day at work. It was an odd mix of somber, exciting, worrisome, and kind of annoying.
Few knew/noticed I was leaving, and even less cared. Of course that's all on me, I was about as sociable as a brick, intentionally so in fact. I avoided interacting with people as much as I could, kept practically no personal items at my desk, never spoke to people if I didn't have to, never wore anything with logos or markings, basically nothing that could start a conversation.
I'd say there were maybe five or so people who knew I was leaving. A former partner of sorts was the only one who seemed to be interested, but only because he wanted to ransack my desk for supplies bugged me about this multiple times shamelessly, even when I was clearly busy.
There was also this other Indian guy who you could maybe call an acquaintance at best from the Washington branch who finally got transferred to the Texas branch a week before I was leaving. He seemed a bit disappointed, but mostly because I was something familiar in this strange new place, that said we talked like twice, briefly.
From what I noticed, seemed like the usual tradition was for people in the office to vote on a restaurant to meet up at during lunch when someone is leaving (which always ended up as the same Indian restaurant), no one said a word in my case though so I just had a burger in my car while watching the last ep of Mr Robot (I had been watching the show during my lunch breaks for a while, and it just lined up perfectly).
For that matter, I played free bird in my car as I made my way out of the parking garage and left at the end of the day, and to my surprise there was a part of me that was actually kind of sad to go, but it was very much so time to go.

what was your job

>>43186
Basically testing smart phone software updates before they roll out to the public.

>>43108
well it started today, in case you're still up for it

A few days ago, I went to an omakase for the first time, a place about half an hour away. It was nice. Really liked the sea urchin with ikura and rice. Never had raw shrimp before. That and the scallop were my favorite. The atmosphere was fancy, and I was a little nervous about picking up and eating the nigiri with my hands.

>>43198
Yup, I'm still interested. I was posting already here:
http://tohno-chan.com/navi/res/3044.html#3531
Once I finish more, I will post more.

Went to a con over the weekend. I got the badge before I left my job. Needed a change of scenery for a bit.
Skip ahead to now that I'm a NEET again and.. I dunno, I guess it was something to do? I don't think I really had high hopes or expectations. In the past I thought cons might be a way of making friends/contacts with like minded people, and that train of thought only ended in disappointment the first few times I went.
I learned that most go to these things with their preestablished groups and have no interest in making new friends. (though one time I did successfully arrange for a small meeting for friendless people at a con via it's discord server.)
There are the types trying to friend collect but I don't think they're the type you'd really want to associate with. There's a lot of people at these cons who don't really have much interest in the material for that matter, so we wouldn't have much in common, and trying to befriend someone like that just... feels pointless?
So with that in mind I didn't really expect anything to come of it. Didn't see anything I felt like buying as I already have so much and the stuff at these places is over priced anyway. I think more than anything I was just bored for most of my time there. I saw everything I needed to from the sales floor the first day I went, but did other laps that day and the next just as something to do, and to maybe see if I missed anything.
On my first day there all I really did worth noting was play pachinko at a display booth thing, which is something that comes up in anime&manga a lot so I've always been a bit curious about it, and sure enough it's like slots but twice as bad. Then I attend a panel for guessing the name of gatcha games via really blurry promo art on a projector. It took half an hour to start because the people running it didn't pre-download anything and were relying on terrible cellphone internet in a place where no one had signal. Admittedly I was impressed with how good people seemed to be at the game once it got going. I was only able to name a few myself, but didn't do any actual guessing because other people were running over each other to grab the mic and take a guess, which I didn't much feel like doing. There was an anime jeopardy panel after that, after debating with myself if I really even wanted to attend, I went in, and found myself sitting next to some guys screaming and arguing at each other about One Piece. I thought to myself "yeeeeeah no, fuck this." and left. I could still hear them as I left the room.
After that I went to the trading card game room, which was dead. I spoke with the guy running it, who apparently never heard of weiss schwarz, which I thought I might try playing there if given the chance. He asked about it after trying and failing a few times to get me to pick up the one piece game, so I tried to explain(poorly) while showing him my Bocchi The Rock themed deck. He asked what the characters were from so I tried to explain Bocchi to him, Apparently he wasn't familiar with K-on either or anything similar. I did learn at least, these guys pay $500 a day for internet access.
I tried going to the videogame room where every station was taken due to a tournament. As I left I got pressured to take a look at a demo for a really terrible looking sumo game. It was some low poly top down chess like thing, which looked like shovel wear, yet people for some reason seemed really interested. I got tired of waiting for a turn at a game that I wasn't interested in and left.
Drove to the con the next morning (Saturday) And ended up just spending most of the day in the gaming room playing mariokart with some random guy as we both killed time waiting on a super smash bros tournament, which I was knocked out of in my first round. While there someone I spoke to on the con discord came by the pick up an uma musume figure I agreed to trade to him for some lego (I accidentally ordered two, and you know how amiami is). He didn't know who the character was (Kitasan Black, MC of season 3) but he was the only person who was interested all the same.
Best part of the day or even con itself must have been going to the gundam workshop, where they give you a free gundam model and 30 minutes to put it together. I was racing the clock to assemble mine and barely knocked it out with less than a minute to spare. (I think they expect most people to finish it at home, and maybe buy some tools to do so, wink wink)
went to have a crappy lunch down the street at a subway next to the busstop, apparently homeless people like to hang out there. went back to tour the sales floor a little more just to have something to do. Ended up just sitting at a table alone in the lounge area playing mobile games till 8pm. There was an after party thing I considered going to, but I never been the party type and it just seemed like a pain in the ass really, so I went home. Decided to pass on going for Sunday. Felt like I had seen enough. I think I might not bother going to one of these things again any time soon.

Post edited on 28th Dec 2024, 3:17pm

>>43250
Umm... actually, it's not "gatcha", it's "gacha" (ガチャ). Also I have no idea what "shovel wear" is, is that some sort of clothing for blue collar workers? I think you mean "shovelware"?

>>43250
Sounds depressing.

>>43250
>waiting on a super smash bros tournament, which I was knocked out of in my first round
Be happy you weren't molested.

dude literally got outside to visit a con and spent some time among so called human being why do you make it sound depressing?

why not just say the truth that's: wow tohno good to see you don't give up on life, don't worry, modern society isn't designed to allows us to make connections, if the world is big and it is impossible that all like minded people are already on tohno, so keep going i am sure you won't stay alone your entire life, even if you never experience something as mind blowing as you can see in anime

but no you make everything depressed. wait, is this board *actually* oriented to Japanese culture!? show me moe that isn't propagating friendliness, reassurance and mutual support. why not try to be like anime!?

a fellow is actually struggling to keep up with life and all we do is say some few miserable words in vein of 'yea depressive'. this isn't moe at all!

don't you give up! MINNAAAAA. where is the power of kinship!? pheeew. i won't stand for it. at least not when i'm not fucking suicidal, i'm either hypomanic right now or something of the sort anyway i'm not even half joking right now, when somebody feels down the only moe response is to reassure them, not dig them deeper

you're good tohno just keep going

>>43255
He went there and had a bad experience, why don't you go there and have a great one if you think that's the case? There is nothing inherently good with going to events or interacting with other people, going to a shitty con just to be disappointed is not a huge addition to life, you talk as if it was about trying to quit heroin.

Post edited on 10th Dec 2024, 9:18am

>>43257
stop being so unmoe it doesn't matter what happened in the end he isn't idle and is trying to do something with his life. reconsider your values and reassure him instead. then tomorrow when you feel down he'll reassure you in return. that's how moe works

>>43258
The one being unmoe here is you, I can't conceive of a situation where characters will encourage another to go to a place where she had a bad experience, felt bored or inadequate. Again, if you want to be reassured, why don't you go there and then present here what a great time you had?

>>43261
you completely missed the point of my post, created a strawman and are now attacking him. please let's just calm down, you and i

>>43250
At least it seems to have some verisimilitude of a convention, the one in my city is 99% about cosplay (half of them American heroes), k-pop competitions and youtuber pseudo-celebrities.

>>43251
You are correct sir.

>>43254
Yeah I've played countless videogames over the years, but I don't really do multiplayer or competitive games so I never developed the skills necessary for these things. I only really bothered with smash and Mario kart as those are some I played the single player campaigns on.

>>43265
I think the cosplaying thing has always been a huge part of them, even in japan. Always seemed a bit silly to me and not my cup of tea, but I figured I'd try to loosen up a bit and give it a chance for this con with something that wouldn't look too crazy, but wasn't able to find the outfit that morning so I had to take a pass on that.
Youtuber stuff certainly does seem like it's really taken over. At the gacha quiz panel I went to, one of the hosts asked the audience two characters before starting the game. She asked for a show of hands who was there because they're vtuber fans (almost everyone raised their hands), and then asked who was there because they had nothing else to do and wanted to kill time. I found it very odd they didn't consider a third option, that people went to the gacha panel because they like gacha games. Also, they had some vtuber guest experiences and meet and greet things. I couldn't have cared less, but while walking by I did stop long enough to watch some bunny girl cursing at and making fun of the people lining up to greet her (via screen and a mic).

>>43268
I don't have an issue with cosplaying itself, in the early 00s cons I went to that were just a bunch of dudes watching a bootleg anime VHS already had someone dress up once in a while, but it goes deeper than that. If you've watched Hyouka, you could see the tension between Mayaka, a person who deeply appreciates manga and dressed up as a form of paying homage, and the Vocaloid girls, who were there just for the trend, Mayaka being insulted by even the suggestion that she was "cosplaying". And it depends on how the convention is announced, the ones in here were supposed to be specifically about Japanese culture, but American superhero movies really took them over. Still it bothers me much less than the k-pop.

>>43275
I think you need to input the password manually when making a post, because otherwise it won't save the one generated for you.

>>43276
Okay noted that down thank you

>>43272
>you could see the tension between Mayaka, a person who deeply appreciates manga and dressed up as a form of paying homage, and the Vocaloid girls
Now I feel bad for not paying proper attention. Where was it? I somehow have my memories of Hyouka mixed with Haruhi and both had an episode or two dedicated to band performance. I guess I was too concentrated on enjoying Kininarimas to pay much attention to others

>>43279
During the school festival episodes, there was a tale being told from the way Mayaka, the manga club president and the Vocaloid girls were dressed up.

>>43280
You mean in the end where Oreki was figuring out who wrote that super incredible manga?

>>43281
No, during the whole festival. Mayaka dress as a different classic manga character each day, Fukube almost says she is cosplaying but she stops him, the girls who just dress as Vocaloids everyday don't take manga seriously and there is some hostility between Mayaka and them, the President was like Mayaka, but was so disappointed by her lack of talent (and lack of interest from an actually talented person) that she gave up and moved her interest to fighting games.

Post edited on 11th Dec 2024, 10:51am

Was typing 'Tahoma' in the font field, ended up with 'Tohno' somehow.

My monitor adventures continue. This time, I got a Pixio PX248 Wave. 24 inch, 1080p, 200Hz, 112% sRGB. The first thing I noticed was the lower ppi coming from 1080p at 21.5 inches. This is a pretty standard configuration though. The colors are fine, but they don't blow me away, even though my previous monitor is apparently 60-80% sRGB according to displaydetails(dot)com. The contrast ratio is the typical 1000:1 and the color temperature is on the cooler side. It's probable though I set the philips to an over-saturated setting when that impressed me.

Considering the only games I'm interested in are single player, I don't really need 200Hz. There are slightly cheaper 1440p 24 inch monitors that only do 100Hz, but I seriously doubt I'd notice the difference. I didn't know that when I got this Pixio one, which I did so because it's pretty highly recommended... If my GPU could handle higher frame rates(which it can't, but speaking hypothetically), it would be annoying for my monitor to be the bottleneck. Would be nice if I could see these things in person before buying them.

So yeah, I'll return it and get the 1440p one I saw.

>>43322
The KTC H24T27 I ordered arrived. 24", 1440p, 122% sRGB, 1300:1 contrast, 100Hz. I like it so far. The extra sharpness from the higher ppi is definitely nice, and the higher contrast gives images a bit more weight. There's a slightly grainy texture to the surface of the screen, but it's not a big deal when it's arms length-away.

Halving the max refresh rate wont be even remotely noticeable to me. Yeah, it does worse in the ufo test, but that metric has little to do with my normal usage.

>>43324
Why are you buying random Chinese monitors? Wouldn't it make more sense to buy a used dell/lenovo/etc. display? I sort of doubt that mystery meat Chinese panels are going to last as long as LG/Samsung ones, or if they're using LG/samsung panels then it's probably rejects.

That being said it's not like "name brand" monitors are any better these days, since the part that fails is usually the bonding. Every IPS monitor (laptop or desktop) I've had has suffered from a "haloing" issue after 3-4 years of being used ~16hrs/day (some sort of heat-induced warping of the diffuser sheets I think, or glue, or something like that). They just don't seem to have sufficient heat dissipation.

>>43325
Name brand monitors have worse specs at higher prices; lower resolution and or far lower refresh rate. There isn't a big enough market for high-spec monitors under 27 inches for large brands to make competitive products in that niche. It's not worth their while. Also, I'm buying off of Amazon because I have a giftcard balance there, so buying used wouldn't be a great deal.

Post edited on 23rd Dec 2024, 4:59pm

Just buy old used brand monitors. They are cheap and they just work.

Do you prefer curved monitors or flat? Why?

I think curved monitors are unproductive unless you are g*ming. I.e. when reading a e-book I like to make the font large, lay back and read while half laying comfortably. At such distance, curved monitors are uncomfortable

>>43327
After getting a Vesa monitor stand, because the stand it came with kinda sucks, I am satisfied. This is good and I'm not getting anything else, unless it breaks, until micro-led or qdel comes along and demolishes its contrast ratio.
>>43328
Never tried one and I'm not really interested.

Post edited on 24th Dec 2024, 11:50am

I've found out today that one of my grandmothers essentially has onset dementia. It seems like she isn't too concerned about death and such, which in a way I am glad that she isn't one of those people who desperately clings to the vestiges of life. I'm not exactly a kind and feeling person but I do feel bad for her, and I think I would like to change my behaviour somewhat to try and give her a nice few experiences before she ultimately ends up become like every other old person.

I still hate most of my family, although their behavior does little to counteract these feelings, but I would at least like to say that I was on good terms with some of them. Due to some retarded drama and long held grudges I'm more or less the only person who visits her aside from an Uncle, and I really don't do it enough. I suppose that plays a part in how I feel about this as well as compared to how I felt about previous family members who have experienced a similar thing. That being said, I don't feel some everpressing need or sorrow over seeing them like this, but I suppose it does bring about some thoughts that I ought to do something with her that I wouldn't normally do. I think sometime next year I'll try and get her and myself some plane tickets so she can visit some of her family in Europe, though I need to get the money to afford all this. I also gotta figure out the logistics of actually flying there because I absolutely despise airports and everything related to flying, so I would rather drive to the nearest airport allowing a non-stop flight and do that than have airport stops where there is a 50% chance of all your belongings being lost and your flight getting cancelled, even if a non-stop flight would cost more in the long run, I believe the avoidance of the average "airport layover" experience is enough to counteract the 2-300$ you would save by having a layover flight.

Regardless, it is nice to see someone similar to myself in my family who, when confronted with these types of dilemnas, just takes them as they are. I feel somewhat bad for not having spent more time with her as she seems somewhat closer to myself than any of my other family members are. Too many people are extremely scared of death and would do anything to cling ontot the last vestiges of life they had even if they were completely stripped of their humanity doing so. I think death, and that people having death as an ever present concept is a rather good thing, as it not only gives meaning to certrain actions but also serves to dissuade others as well. I think those who can not make their peace with death as a concept and can't find some way of reasoning it away, whether it be through there being some sort of afterlife or otherwise, is one of the primary reasons things are so bad now. The overall rejection of death as a concept is the overall rejection of there being consequences for actions, whether they be good, benign, or negative. Through living and through using up time, you bring yourself closer to death, thereby all your decisions result in a zero sum game in regards to time. I see all to often people in their 40's and beyond try to reason away the fact that they are still young and have "plenty of life" and it really demonstrates how much the "average person" wishes to remove themselves from the reality of the world and their life itself. It's quite sad to see people desperately cling to youth instead of just accepting that time has passed and they have lost their youth because of it. I suppose if people were more ready to accept the reality of the world things would be much different overall.

After hitting my head against another case of open source software poisoning I got a surge of existential crisis. I am simply very unsettled by this. Now I feel horrible.

Post edited on 28th Dec 2024, 11:06am

I took a trip to California for a week to visit my dad. Don't really know why I bothered. I think last time I saw him he seemed slightly nicer and more friendly, but this time it felt like he reverted back to his old self. I think a lot of that is probably due to his medical issues that humbled him, but he had since recovered so that's out the window now.

Airport is about 35 minutes from home, mother wouldn't drive me because she doesn't like to drive outside of town. Dad wouldn't pick me up because he doesn't like driving after sundown, so it was an uber both ways (not exactly cheap with these distances). Got there around midnight.
- 23rd.
During a simple breakfast, my father got into a very heated argument with my uncle over the phone. He was claiming my father stood him up for a dinner meeting, which they never actually talked about. So my dad and his gold digger yelling at each other about how my uncle needs help and has dementia or whatever. I noticed most of the time when they talk it's very aggressive, filled with passive aggressive comments, and a lot of talking over or interrupting each other to break into loud mini rants. I wouldn't say they're arguing because they're not disagreeing exactly, but it does have that vibe. That's how my dad has always been and I guess she got infected with it. I worry about how much of that got passed onto me...
Otherwise fairly easy going day. My father showed me some of the repair work he had done on his house while complaining about the help.
That evening I spent exactly two hours, twenty minutes, and six seconds on the phone with my uncle as he rambled about the same nonsense he always does while I barely get a word in other than "oh wow" "you don't say?" "you're kidding!" "I know right?", but in the end I convinced him to call his brother and try to work things out.

24th
My dad wanted to go hike "mount rubidoux" (pic related). Spent most of it talking about his hip operation, how he could see the small mountain from his hospital window, how fat and ugly his nurse was, how uncomfortable the situation was and how he never thought he'd be able to do this hike again. After a while of this it became clear he was fishing for pity points.
At the top, for the second time during this hike, he repeated this quirk of this where in he likes to recount a story of something bad I did as a child, unprovoked. I guess it's a way of passive aggressively putting me down, and because he knows so little about me, he keeps using things I did when I was under the age of 6. In recent years I've come to understand just how pathetic of a tactic this really is. Like he expects me to grovel at his feet for forgiveness for things I did when I was a literal baby. (He was complaining about how infant me ruined one of his many grand canyon hikes). So while he's giving me a hard time about what child me did on one of our trips, I says to him "Do you really want to start comparing shitty things we've done in our pasts?" Dad: "...no, not really." me: "Yeah didn't think so.".
we had plans of getting something to eat after that, so he took me to the airport because airport cafes are the only places he likes to eat out at. On the way he saw a pilot friend and got into an hour long conversation about what plane he should buy next. Cafe was closed by the time we got there, and he couldn't care less if I wanted to go somewhere else so we went home. When I pointed out various other places that were opened he yelled at me about there being plenty of food in the house.

25th
Wasn't exactly feeling 100% but sucked it up. Dad wanted to take his ford super deluxe out for a spin, but we went back after I pointed out for the third time that the cabin was filling with smoke. So instead we went out in his convertible beetle. The winter morning air wasn't doing me any favors with how I was feeling.
Had a little Christmas dinner with a friend of the family who came over. It was admittedly refreshing to talk to someone who seemed somewhat normal.
Uncle came to visit for a bit and was obviously weirding out the person I just mentioned. Wasted no time diving into incoherent rambling about the government and the end of the world.
Gifts were exchanged, and my uncle seemed to be the only one who liked what he got (bought him a lock box hidden in a book, seemed like something he'd enjoy).
I came down with one of the worst fevers I've ever had as the day went into night. Couldn't sleep and felt delirious. Felt lucky just to snag some water. Was weak and sore and aching all over. Talking to myself somehow made it more bearable. helped a bit to remind myself this wasn't as bad as the time I got heat stroke and my mother was actively making it worse. Better to suffer alone than to have someone add to your suffering.
Off and on I'd play mobile games on my phones when I could keep my eyes open, not that I was able to sleep at all when I couldn't.

26th
By 10am I got a little tired of my father and his gold digger repeatedly yelling my name from downstairs and again sucked it up while feeling around 70%. At least the woman gave me a zip lock bag full of Tylenol.
Later went to visit my uncle. After showing me some of his home projects, we went to have lunch. I was grateful not to have to eat the same left overs that I had been having every day with my dad. During this time my dad went to the gym and seemed ashamed of me for not going with him. When he got back we stayed at my uncle's place, who put on the evil dead 2, one of a handful of movies he likes to play obsessively, but it's one I'll never complain about. Not that you can hear movies with these guys around. For them it's just background noise as they ramble at each other about whatever unrelated random things are on their minds, and look at me like I'm a weirdo if I comment on something related to the movie.
You know, people complain about the theaters being pointless when you have large screens at home, but that's only any good if you don't have an obnoxious family trying to talk over each other with other people randomly coming in and out of the room, and pushing me to drink near boiling water with mystery pills after noticing I'm not that well. But it was nice to see my uncle's Chinese 3DPD cared at least, even if she was being really pushy about it.

27th
Day of my return. Slept a bit better, but wasn't feeling perfect still. Told my dad a couple times I needed to be at the airport by 12PM and it was a nearly hour drive, which meant leaving at 11am. So around 10:40am after noticing my watch, he takes out some apple smart watch and asks(more like tells) me to help him set a specific photo from his phone as the background on that watch. I ran out of time because I requested the uber (yeah he didn't want to drive me there because of traffic) and it was a couple minutes away, so he tells me it's fine in a condescending way that I wasn't able to do it. I didn't want to wait on requesting it because I had a feeling he might make me late if I did.
Return flight wasn't too bad, it got delayed by an hour and a half, but I had a decent spot to chill at the airport. I remembered to download some movies to my phone this time so the flight went by quickly, but the landing was terrible. After some excruciating pain, I couldn't hear well and I think something was wrong with my inner ear, throwing me off balance as I walked out. Took another uber home with a driver who seemed to forget how toll booths worked and got us a line of honking cars. Wasn't until the next day that I could hear better and sound wasn't so muffled anymore.

While typing this my uncle messaged me saying I should stay with him next year, but I don't really think I want to bother. The trip felt very pointless. I think I kinda wanted to reconnect with my dad, maybe try to lean into the more normal relationship I wanted growing up, but was given the wake up call 'yet again' that's not going to happen. I even had this naive vision of us playing board games(he keeps none), going to a movie(didn't happen), working together on a model plane kit I got him(Didn't seem to like it), or going somewhere fun(refused due to crowds costs and traffic).

After a few days of one sided conversations, At one point I tried to explain the basics of how to have a normal conversation with another human. Things like actually letting them talk, listing to what they say while learning about them, looking for things to talk about like shared interests, engaging in a healthy back and forth as both parties do this, not just talking at them about a topic you alone find interesting and disregarding signs of a lack of interest, much less putting them down for not being interested if they make a point of it. This guy quickly goes from superiority complex mode, to trying to play the victim the moment you point anything out like this.
It felt weird, and maybe even a little wrong, me being the loser I am trying to explain this stuff to someone who has ten times the life I do. Needless to say I didn't tell him about my job status, he thinks I'm pathetic enough as is without knowing I'm currently unemployed.

The whole trip felt kinda pointless and expensive, $500 for the flight with another $200+ in uber costs just to be stuck in a house for a week with a guy who doesn't like me much. But I guess the gift cash I got balanced out the cost part at least.

> how fat and ugly his nurse was
I am sorry for such a shallow reply for such a long post but it struck me across the face how well it aligns with the image america created for itself. Somehow american media shaped my brain in such a way that hearing about fat and ugly nurse sounds like a situation "straight out of the book".

>>43334
This post is actually so personal I don't think it's possible to make an acceptable reply to its contents. But at least you tried to keep initiative. I'm so afraid of facing my relatives I'd run to the other side of the earth to hide from them. Not because they're bad people, no. Because they're actually good people who also have achieved things in life. Things that were not meant for me and which I don't care about anymore. But the dread of having to answer the simple question "what have you achieved" is enough to reduce me to the size of an ant. What have I achieved? A superficial knowledge of what some philosophers said about contentment? That's probably all. I mean, what do you talk about with people at all? There gotta be some interests in common. If there are none, I just can't care less. Whatever. Cheers. Don't give up. In the pointless journey through void may you find a sparkle of light worth holding onto.

>>43329
As I feared would happen, the OCD is back. Everything looks pretty much like pic related, even though I'm almost certain the top left of my monitor is higher than the top right. I tried to ignore it at first, but the thought "maybe if I just adjust it a little it will look right" kept bothering me, so I eventually gave into the temptation. Since then, it's been misery and I'm contemplating yet again going back to my smaller monitor and praying I can be comfortable again.

Is it my eyes, my brain, the monitor, the desk, or even the floor? It's so frustrating not knowing whether it's real or just me. And if it is real, whether I'm only bothered by it because of OCD. What's possibly even worse is that I've started contemplating the role of computers in my life. I've pretty much always relied on one as an escape from my boring, empty existence. If I can't even enjoy that distraction from reality, what's left for me?

I just want to die, frankly

Reality is getting shoved in my face and I dont like it
I did nothing with my life and I should have done somehing but i don't know what to do. I don't even watch anime. The day just happens. I'm sick of it.

>>43338
I have a vaguely similar problem with software. Some little details catch me as "not being in line" with other things on my system and god knows I'm lucky if only waste a day or two. And when it happens it is exceptionally hard to interrupt. Frankly, after your post I have a strong urge to check if my monitor is aligned properly though since I haven't noticed anything so far I hope I don't notice it anything now either

My sympathy to the OCD guy. My table is very narrow, and the monitor is too close so it's not comfortable to use. I tried moving the table farther from the wall to move the monitor back but part of its leg now hangs in air and I am afraid it will fall back. I hope I manage to suppress it but it might be a sharp cornerstone for my flimsy mental stability

Took my mother with her truck to a mechanic on Saturday. She was complaining about it not breaking correctly. We get there and they do an inspection, after a long wait they said the breaks looked fine, and looking deeper found the issue was with the rack and pinion. yada yada yada
They didn't think they could finish it in time, and don't work Sundays, so we were told it'd be done Monday.

Monday arrived.
Got called around 1pm that they fixed the issue, but they found a problem with the power steering pump.
See, something like three months ago, my mother ignored my repeated recommendations about not getting repair work done from a friend of her sister who works out of his trailer. I kept telling her to get it done at a place with some sort of warranty, much less with this particular guy.
So anyways, the part the guy bought and installed wasn't working right. The part might have a warranty, but getting it replaced by the new mechanic was going to cost us in labor.
So after my mom got in contact with the guy, he told us where he bought the part.
I tried telling her they probably won't help us since we weren't the ones who bought the thing, but we went anyway. When we get there they say they don't have the part and send us to another branch location. We get the new part after some back and forth over the phone with the guy that bought the first part, and we take it to the mechanic. We go home as they do the work. after being home for like ten minutes they give us a call telling us the part is wrong. We go get it, and take it back to the shop we bought it from. After taking forever to figure out why it's wrong when it's the right part number and all, they decide it must be a factory mistake and send us to yet another branch that has the part. We go there, and before buying it I inspect it and find it's also wrong. The clock speeds forward as they try to understand the situation and figure things out, turns out the truck type is slightly wrong (crew cab vs extended cab), which for whatever reason actually makes a difference here. So they find the nearest branch with the part we 'actually' need, which is a 30 minute drive each way. While shipping the part to the store is an option, that would take a while and the mechanic had the truck up on the lift waiting for us this whole time. I think they can't really take it down and out without the part, and leaving it there would block them for conducting more business. So there was a need to get this done quickly. It was getting late though and I explained to the mechanic it would be impossible to get the part to him before he closes, so he said to get it now and give it to him when they open the next morning.
Went to the other shop, and after another lengthy session of explaining the situation with a pair of employees that didn't really want to help us out and couldn't find the guy's info, I got in contact with a previous shop I went to and connected the employees over the phone who managed to find the original mechanic's info and do the return and exchange for the proper part.
Didn't get home till nearly 9pm.

Fell asleep in a bus, started to see a weird dream (don't remember) then my voice in my head told me "... because you're becoming a drooling retard", I snapped back to wakefulness and there it was, my head leaning down, mouth a bit open and saliva dripping on my jacket. Wiped it quickly and hoped nobody noticed.

Post edited on 31st Dec 2024, 1:13pm

I got overdosed with anime, head spinning, feeling really weird but thankfully good.