Just returned home after a 60h work week.
Working sucks. Now I'm free but I'm too tired to do shit.

I woke up at 4:12 today and I'm unhappy with myself for it. I didn't want to wake up so I stayed in bed. It's hard to bring myself to get out of bed when it's cold and I have a comfy daki to hug.
>>33538
>60h work week
My condolences. Those are terrible.

ive been doing pretty good! just finished a whole mess of a project at work and i finally can have some down time to relax, so im enjoying that. Also, for the past few months ive been building a website and its finally starting to come together, it feels good to make something on your own! Its still pretty small and there some stuff i need to change around or am unsatisfied with but its my own little project and makes me proud

I hate having to shave so often if I want to sleep with my body pillow. If I don't, my facial hair damages the cover. But then I keep cutting myself when I shave and it hurts even after I'm done. I just want to not have facial hair so I can sleep with my pillow.

>>33564
Try taking a shower right after shaving. That mostly gets rid of the pain.

>>33565
The hot water stings and it doesn't stop my skin from getting cut in the first place. I've tried shaving in the shower and going with the grain instead of against it. The shower helps prevent the pain and going with the grain doesn't cut me as much but the shave isn't as smooth either.

>>33564
How often do you shave? I do every day so it's not really an issue, if you left it then maybe it would become more difficult.

>>33567
If I leave it then the hair gets longer over time. If it gets long enough to start itching, then I can get a very clean and close shave without too many cuts. This can take about a week, maybe a little less. If I shave daily then it's harder to shave anything off at all and I cut myself trying to get rid of the short stubble. A clean shave normally lasts only a day for me.

A red back spider made it's web within a metre of where my pillow is on my bed, one of these days I'm going to be assassinated by a spider in my sleep.

The package from Japan that I've been waiting for has finally arrived (＾∇＾)ﾉ♪
Manga is the one thing I prefer reading on paper rather than on a screen, so it's great that I have a new job that leaves me with enough disposable income for the occasional haul of books and manga from Nippon.
I'm especially thrilled about the Parasite Eve manga since it's somewhat rare and I didn't think I'd ever get my hands on it, yet here it is and it wasn't even expensive.
It's all second-hand. So far I've seen food stains on 2 or 3 volumes, but no missing pages or anything that would really detract from the content.

>>33592
Isn't quite expensive to ship manga from Japan because of the weight?

>>33593
yes, it is. Those 32 volumes of manga cost me 45 Euros, plus 43 Euros for shipping and 21 Euros for customs/taxes.

>>33594
Where did you order it from? That seems a bit much but then I don't live in Europe and don't order Japanese manga much, I got one from Amazon from Japan and it was shipped for free though.

>>33595
I ordered from Mandarake.
Shipping from Japan to Europe is indeed more expensive than to NA. How much did you ultimately pay, though? Amazon Germany also offers a small selection of Japanese-language books and manga through 3rd party sellers, which is often offered with "free" shipping, but typically costs 10-15 Euros for a single volume, even for second-hand goods. Paying 88 Euros for 32 volumes means I paid 2.75 Euros per tome, which is obviously a much better deal.

When I buy new rather than second-hand, I typically order from Yesasia, which has higher prices than Amazon Japan but doesn't charge additional shipping fees, which usually makes it a better deal when ordering from the EU.

>>33604
I payed about $20au so I guess that's roughly the same. I didn't take into account the amount of manga that you got though and 2.75 euro per manga actually isn't a bad price.

I woke up in the morning one day and I felt good most of it and I was more productive than usual. I wasn't tired for no reason either. It's hard to stay disciplined like that on days off though. It was nice and I think I might try it again.

I went to the doctor and sat around sick most of the day. I've been awake for close to 24 hours now without signs of going to bed soon. I just feel awful. I have another doctor's appointment Monday. It seems like that's all that I do anymore. I haven't been anywhere else at all in over a year now.

Took a hour off yesterday for a dental appointment, then went to work, came home, didn't feel that tired but still slept in front of tv (was unplanned). Woke up at 5am and couldn't get back to sleep... so started today early. Heh.

Woke up too early yesterday morning, couldn't fall back to sleep. Took my dog out for an early walk.
Did some work for a neighbor later in the morning. Mainly moving some things and walking his dog. It was enjoyable because it was simple and his dog kept me company.
Went to job in the evening. The commute is insufferable. My job is insufferable. The people are insufferable. There are no dogs, it isn't a good place for them.
Came home late, tried to sleep but couldn't.
I've been awake almost 27 hours and no matter what I try my body won't sleep.
I feel broken.

>>33671
sucks. Hope you get better.

>>33592
So far I've read:
Ariadne up to volume 2. As he showed in Claymore, Yagi is one of the best mangaka when it comes to drawing action scenes where you can actually figure out what is going on. In this series he certainly lives up to my expectations in that respect, but unlike Claymore, the story is very generic shonen adventure stuff. I might have liked it if I was 10 years old, but i don't think I'll be buying any more of this series.

Lust Geass is about what I expected, a trashy ecchi manga. The drawing style is pretty good (which is the reason I bought it in the first place), but still I won't be buying anymore of this either. Also, the main heroine isn't my type.

Parasite Eve honestly blew me away. I only bought it because I liked Parasite Eve 2 (PS1 game) when I was a kid, but I loved so much about this manga. The character designs, the mtDNA parasite concept that serves as the premise, the way it deals with the topic of organ donation, and how all the sub-plots fit together in the end.
It also got me to do some further reading about biology. I started out reading some articles related to mitochondria on Wikipedia, then i listened to the audiobook of Richard Dawkins' The Selfish Gene which is referenced several times in PE, and now I'm on to JF Gariepy's recently released The Revolutionary Phenotype.

IRL, I'm on holiday for a week and will be visiting the only member of my family that I'm still in contact with.

I got hit by a car today. It was just a couple of minutes ago(10:50ish pm). I was getting off the bus and usually I go around the back of it since cars never go that way, but out of some stupid spur-of-the-moment decision I went in front this time. I don't normally use the bus this late, and my stop is pretty remote to begin with. Immediately after I just ran away. Luckily it was a relatively light hit, so i'll probably just get away with a bruise. From now on I wont cross until the bus leaves. I'm a little bit more thankful for being alive.

Post edited on 17th Nov 2019, 8:27pm

>>33681
Not going around the front is like rule #1 of using the bus. Drivers around these parts will honk and yell at you if you do that here.

>>33683
I've only been using the bus for a few months now. Plenty of people cross in front during the day too. I'm suprised people don't get hit more often.

My OCD or whatever it is keeps getting worse. I can barely concentrate on anything and I can't ever relax, I'm always thinking about dumb things that I know are dumb or I am getting up to wash my hands or do something else or worrying that I am not doing something right or that I should be doing something else right now, I'm unemployed but still have this stupid schedule that doesn't mean anything but I still follow and it makes me feel so constricted and unable to just lay back and do whatever I want. I can't enjoy something without all these dumb thoughts coming in to my head that are completely ridiculous either, even when watching anime I will be worrying that they have fake breasts or something equally as dumb when they are fictional characters and would never have fake breasts because the creator would never have envisioned them in that way. It's all so exhausting.

Today marks 4 weeks since I first found out about my armpit fetish. I've always considered the breast-armpit-arm area quite beautiful and attractive, but never looked at it in a sexual manner. At least, not solely focusing on that part.

Now I'm addicted to it. It began being the first thing I noticed about female bodies, and it further augmented the divide between being sexually attracted to 3DRL females, and 3DCG/2D ones. I could still fap to live porn before. Now, not anymore, as I less and less value other body parts and characteristics, and otherwise consider 2D more pretty.

It's also troubling me a bit in my relationship with my waifu. Precisely one month left to celebrate 2 years since we first met. We haven't consummated our marriage as of yet. Wasn't/Am not planning to do so for at least another year or two. I have however been paying particular attention to her armpits and imagining "fondling" with them. I do it more in a casual manner, tickling, for example, and I'm trying to restrain myself, almost scared of, not to be a creep or do something inappropriate.

Today I decided that I'll take this opportunity to learn how to better restrain sexual fantasies and perversions.

>>33685
I have the same sort of thoughts. Can't allow myself to fully relax and enjoy myself. Ever. I could be NEET with a year's rent saved and I would still have the thoughts.
A psychologist once blamed this kind of thing on a pervasive Protestant work ethic. Your parents needn't be religious to inculcate it in childhood. She wasn't a great diagnostician in my opinion, because in childhood I didn't have such thoughts. It's living in the capitalist machine with crumbling social safety nets that did it. Never goes away. Imagine if a worldwide revolution ushered in a socialist utopia like in some anarchist's wet dream. They would still have to treat generations of people for something like PTSD. Variable in its severity, granted. Just from the memory of this shit.

Sometimes I think about stopping my medication. I'm not sure but I think I feel weird some hours after I take one for the day. But sometimes I get sad because I think about sad things and I don't know which one it is.

>>33687

I spent two hours cuddling my body pillow after I woke up

>>33688
I feel somehow similar. It's like the generations that lived a war or a depression, they are permanently worried about amassing food and shit like that. I have a job and I'm still thinking about how many months I could live with the money I have saved, I feel guilty about spending and basically everything else. Sometimes every second I'm not worried, feeling bad or doing whatever repetitive task I feel guilty and like I'm wasting time or I'm forgetting something important.
For years I thought being a NEET was the source of my guilt but I think I still carry most of that shit.

I have been working hard at my job, but I don't really mind. I recently became better acquainted with one of my coworkers. This person also enjoys his job and is very kind, so that makes it easier to get through each day. However, I have started to feel lonely during times I do not have my coworker around; I fear that the massive tolerance to being alone I had developed over the course of my entire life is beginning to fade now that I have had a taste of the comfort of having someone be nice to me. I would therefore like to be my coworker's friend, but I don't think that would be possible without partaking in all sorts of normalfag social rituals, which I am far from familiar or comfortable with.
I also bought some books, which I look forward to receiving soon.

>>33711
That sounds nice. Try to keep that job as long as possible. Work you enjoy is vanishingly rare these days even for normals.

>>33712
Thank you for the advice. It is nice, but I don't expect to stay here forever. I routinely hope that I will be able to find similar fulfillment whenever I move on to something else.

In my experience, normalfags rarely like what they do. They seem to viscerally hate anything that isn't part of their routine of social rituals; in other words, they lack ambition or passion for anything besides shallow pursuits like chasing 3DPD. I suspect this is why so many consider it so abnormal or noteworthy for someone to have a hobby beyond superficial involvement. Many normalfags, for instance, might view routinely posting on (smaller) imageboards as fanatical because they don't enjoy anything besides social rituals and gossip (which, ironically, they routinely post about online, except on sites like facebook).

Why the fuck is everyone posting about their fucking jobs, what the fuck happened to this site? Don't you even know what N in T.O.H.N.O. stands for?

>>33716
Are you seriously trying to bring back this argument? Fitting every letter of the acronym isn't a criteria for posting here. Quite a few people need a job so they don't starve to death.

>>33716
You totally sound like the average Wizardchan user. What are we supposed to do when we reach 30 yo and our parents kick us out? And I know the wizardchan answer; "to kill yourself".
But that way you can only get a board populated with 20-something people. Maybe that's the point and we shouldn't be here, I don't know, I'm just thinking out loud.

I made a patch for an open source project, and it was accepted into it. The changes I made were simple, but it's still a nice feeling.

>>33845
I wrote a major patch fo an emulator a few months ago, but I'm too lazy to write the documentation that would make the patch useful to anyone, hence I haven't submitted it yet. I was planning to do it during the holidays, but my employer decided to make me work twice as much in the Christmas week as I would normally.

>>33846
I hope you are able to finish the documentation. What system is the emulator for, if I may?

Theres a lot of /so/posting lately.

>>33853
I think it's nice.

Bad weather today. I just wanna curl up and read a book or something...

Received my NEETbux, so I treated myself to wine and other fun stuff. Pizzas and internet (I stay offline most of the time).. etc.

I downloaded a few live Autechre albums and had a blast browsing boorus.

I returned to college despite my age.
My GPA wasn't great before, but now it's going to tank.
Communication courses are how they weed out the "undesirables."
I can't think well.
What's life?

I have to work cleaning movie theater's auditoriums after each showing, on Valentine's Day until late at night.

I can't wait to clean normie cum off of the seats until I'm exhausted.

>>34084
>normie cum
Do they actually have sex in movie theaters?

>>34085
I don't know how they would get away with it most times I've been to one unless it was dead in there. But I wouldn't mind a late night cleaning job, no one to bother me and I just do my own thing till it's over. I'm stuck in retail and I can't stand the horrible monsters I deal with every day I drag myself there anymore. The constant pressure to get them to sign up for shit when half of them can't even speak english (or any human language for that matter with the dumber one's) and everyone else has issues anyways. I had one chance at a job stocking trucks for delivery before around here and I should have taken it. My job is easy but people make it unbearable.

>>34061
I'm younger than you and plan on going to community college as well. First of all it's cheaper and my highschool GPA is terrible due to catching a bad virus that had me in the emergency room a couple of times, developing chronic migraines, and having a severe anxiety disorder as well as clinical depression.

Highschool was the worst time of my life. My mother constantly told my counselors and therapists lies which made the situation worse. None of my "intelligent" parents thought homeschooling me until I was physically and emotionally stable was good so I stayed back twice and basically do online classes at the adult center anyways so I really just do "homeschool"(So very ironic. The homeschool stigma needs to end). Yeah the situation was that nonsensical due to having ignorant parents who I NEVER lived with but wanted to compensate for their ineptitude and irresponsibility by coming in and ruining highschool for me even further. (Had me young, so they had to give me up to my Grandmother) Another interesting fact is that the guidance counselor and principal KNEW I should have been homeschooled but kept me in there anyways due to wanting to maintain their graduation rate to look "good". Man, I love how adults can exploit minors who have no say in the matter. Absolutely disgusting.

Anyways, my venting belongs on /so/ so I'l stop there. I'm not mad about community college because it's a much cheaper alternative and I heard it could be quite the experience. However, I plan to major in CompSci, and I don't want to transfer to a state university that will have me stay for an extra year (I want to leave asap so I can move away from my family into an apartment by myself). Plus, if I had gone straight to university, I would have not had to pay anything, because my family is a bunch of poorfags and I would have gladly exploited the system because I'm taking any chance life throws at me.

Anyways, any Compsci majors on here go to CC first and then transfer? Did you graduate in 4 years? I'm just curious because while there are credit transfer agreements for the Uni I want to go to, I'm not sure if they'll give me all of my major's classes in the allotted time even if I finish my gen Ed's. I feel like along with my gen Ed's, I'm probably going to have to take some introductory CompSci classes at CC too like discrete mathematics and Introduction to Programming.

>>34150
You should look at the details of the transfer agreement since this might vary between universities. Generally most general ED and lower-division courses should transfer, so it's best to get those out of the way in CC. In fact if anything it's better to do these in CC as opposed to uni because professors in uni are really not that good.

>>34157
Thank you for the information, I appreciate it. Turns out, the state uni I plan on attending has an extensive, well documented catalog to see class equivalents of all the CCs in my state.

>>34163
It doesn't happen to be a uni in the UC/CSU system, does it? (Just asking because the compsci major + existence of California's ASSIST transfer equivalence catalog made me think so).

>>34165
Nope, I dont live anywhere near California.

>>34165
Nope, I dont live anywhere near California.

I'm fine. Still cold though it's technically spring now. Was cloudy and had some precipitation today.

Basically, my whole day consisted of the following thoughts: I am tired of everything, but most of all of myself; I am untrained, I make the same mistakes all the time; there is no hope for me; I am disgusting. To be honest, I just want to fall asleep forever and either never wake up, or wake up in the ideal world from my point of view. Even when I look at other people who are better than me, or even at those who sincerely inspire me, for some reason this does not reassure me. They live in the same terrible world as I do, and they are not immune to the existential crisis, so it is essentially not important how good I am. I just can not cope with the absurdity of the world, it kills me. You can look at how normalfags go to work every day, study, give birth to children. I do not understand anything. This huge system scares me. The mechanistic behavior of such people can be ridiculed, and sometimes I do it when I am in a good mood, but then I admit to myself that I just cover my true negative feelings with irony, like Monty Python did. In the end, my actions are also mechanical, they are just not so approved by society (I sit at home all the time and other things of this kind). I just want to be a different person and live in a different world, completely isolated from other universes.

>>34323
It is only as bad as you imagine it.
What is "I" but an imaginary idea? If you lie in warmth and comfort in your bed, everything is good enough. Goals can be set up to a day, not up to a life, there is no merit in comparing yourself to other individuals in a (despotic, my god!) system. The only person you should compare yourself to, is yourself.
The system is nothing but a big illusion. There is not much to understand. Everything is mechanized, you can blame whoever you want, but there is no exit(except in escapism) to a system which is not in the hands of something like human fate.
Accept your true self, create the best system for yourself. You have to live for yourself, it doesn't matter what anybody tells you, it's still FOR YOURSELF.

Sometimes when I'm bored I reread an archived /mai/ post.

Weekend now. Lazy day.

Pasta lunch.

After going really well for several months, my weight loss has plateaued for the last two weeks.

I payed my tuition today, and the realization that I'm still taking higher-ed courses at my fucking age dawned on me once more. College would be awesome if all I had to deal with were math and the sciences. I can manage those; Even if I don't understand some of the material, hard work does pay off. The other bullshit necessitates something I don't possess. Writing a non-technical paper murders every part of my being; I'm either formulating a response to hokum, or trying to wrap my mind around emotions or some trash like that. It's impossible! The people who like this shit must've failed algebra or something (not that I haven't, too, failed it). All I want is an okay job to fund my hobbies.

Why does the process have to suck this much ass?
Why can't I be reborn as a little girl living in a quaint, Japanese seaside town?
Why can't I pay a doctor to peacefully kill me?
WHY

>>35743
Sounds tough but hang in there. It *will* get better.

>>35743
>The other bullshit necessitates something I don't possess. Writing a non-technical paper murders every part of my being; I'm either formulating a response to hokum, or trying to wrap my mind around emotions or some trash like that.
They're trying to make sure students are "well-rounded". Writing bullshit papers where you make massive assumptions and present evidence that doesn't actually prove your thesis because you have to take it from the articles they selected is something they consider an essential skill. I liked it since I'm good at it.

I think there's institutions with a 100% stem curriculum, but those are hard to get into.

Post edited on 23rd Aug 2020, 5:45am

Yesterday I posted here about having a game idea but not implementing it because I hate programming.
Today I implemented it, it melted some hours away which I hate. It's really primitive and the pieces every so often don't clear out correctly, I don't know why because the code is really ugly.
I've noticed that if I plan out the code nicely I never end up doing anything and if I just go ahead it ends up being unmanageable, I can only go full prairie dog or full beaver it seems.
Game here:
https://filebin.net/dl32tj7x3me0rdea/discs.love?t=zykwju5u
if anyone is interested, can be played with the love2d engine.
How it works is in pic here:
>>>/cr/3118

>>35745
For me it only got worse.

Practiced landings and radio calls, few to some place with a bunch of amazon warehouses with a huge airport. On return had breakfast with my dad who ranted about the fake disease and how everyone who wears a mask is a stupid "queer". Bought my mom a new cane from a yardsale on the way back 'home', while there a kid was staring at me with a confused look when I went for the canes, who then started yelping like a horse and hooting while hopping up and down. After getting back went with my mom to our po box to get a new headset I bought and get some lunch on the way back. After we ate, she left for the casino, so I had the place to myself and finished playing the asscreed game I was on (origins). With that done, decided to just chill on my laptop for a while.

>>35794
>my dad who ranted about the fake disease
Isn't your dad rich? How is he that dumb?

>>35795
He firmly believes it's a hoax created to adjust and manipulate the economy, Allowing big businesses and savvy investors to buy up stocks on the cheap then rake in the cash after the magic cure suddenly pops up after the upcoming election. Hospitals meanwhile are falsifying reports about their case numbers in order to increase their funding. At best that it's designed to kill off senior citizens who are a drain on the economy.
It's better than what my uncle thinks, which is that the virus was created to make Trump look bad, and all the protesters and sick people across the world are bought and paid for. Where as my mom thinks it's some sort of attack by bad people.

I just stumbled on this imageboard from Google what are you guys all about??

>>35797
Wow, this place still uses noko, huh? You don't see that very often these days.

>>35797
Whatever the topic says I guess?

>>35799
Why?

>>35797
ロリ

>>35801
Places like 4shit did away with the email field all together.

>>35803
Yes, this is what we're all about.

>>35796
We're in the middle ages. Those dumb believes are a symptom of something else, the end of civilization, the ultimate crisis. When the experts and organizations are into absolute idiocy the ordinary people will be lost and try to fill the void with something else.
Sometimes I wonder what is the stupid shit I believe myself without being conscious of it.

I have been feeling guilty about neglecting slower imageboards but I often have nothing to add. Its a catch-22.

>>35811
>but I often have nothing to add
Merely posting a screenshot of an anime you're watching is enough.

Monster Girl Doctor is such a cheap, wish-fulfilment anime. I can't stop watching it...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXTjdm4N9tY

I wanted to post on /vn/ about some visual novels I read but it looks like there are only threads about classics, good VNs, and type-moan, so I don't want to make a kuso thread for what is probably a kuso vn.

Post edited on 15th Sep 2020, 10:21am

>>35938
A kuso VN is still a VN. The board really needs more activity.

>>35939
Then I will later post about Kukkoro and Nin Nin Days if I still have the energy for it.

I went for a walk by the sea at night. It was nice and I might make a habit out of it.

VNs both seem to be dying and having a sort of renaissance, I see more translations and discussions in the western side of things than ever before but most new releases seem to be pornographic in nature. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but still.
Key making a mobile game was sad to see as well.

It's getting noticeably chilly. People complain about summer a lot on imagebords, but i'll take heat over cold any day.

>>35944
>People complain about summer a lot on imagebords
most of those people are either fat or live in very warm countries.

>>35943
>most new releases seem to be pornographic in nature
You mean as in being outright nukige?

>>35944
It's easy to stay warm in winter. It's impossible to cool down in summer.

Some months ago I took off the pillowcase from my daki and replaced it with the plain white one I had sitting around from Artscow. It's not as soft or smooth and it doesn't make me want to stay in bed as long nor does it help me fall asleep easily. I don't like the flaps it has on the sides either, I don't know why they thought that was a good idea. The pillowcase is also too small so it compresses my daki.
But even with all of my complaints I'm happier. The smaller pillowcase keeps my daki firmer and the sturdier fabric makes it so that I don't have to keep a skin-smooth shave every night for fear of ruining the delicate fabric like before. Now because I don't have to shave as frequently I'm not cutting myself almost every time because I'm not forced to shave against the grain and I can let it grow out for a while to let my skin heal. I don't have to maintain myself to a detrimental degree like before. A part of me misses being able to look at a pretty face on my pillow but in the dark of night my imagination can be put to use.

>>35948
My thoughts exactly.

>>35944
The nice thing is that's prime walking season. It's boring but good for you. Easier if you live rural since there's less people to bother you.

I tried making a pure redhead character but it's really hard to imagine them as such. They keep turning into a slut in my mind and I hate it.

>>36033
I've heard there are a number of stereotypes associated with redheads, but never anything specific. Is being a slut one of them?

>>36034
I'm pretty sure someone will correct me later but based on my limited experience I've noticed these personalities are most common on redheads:
>slut - a variation of this is sometimes the lesbian bishojo
>violent - often a delinquent
>villain
>tsundere
Obviously, exceptions exist and I probably missed some but those are the ones I've noticed so far.

>>36035
I think country bumpkin is another common one.

Nobody is more of a slut than purples! though im probably having Eiken associations.

>>36033
I think this is because of your mind and not because of redheads.

>>36038
I'm pretty sure it is but I don't know what to do about it.

>>36046
Just having big boobs doesn't make you a slut!