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No. 16294
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uh well...
I don't know where to start.
Firstly, falling in love with him allowed me to finally learn to accept my sexuality. I had been a severely repressed furfagghola since I was fucking 11 and I don't even know why, no one in my family gives a shit about fags and I've never been exposed to any extreme homophobic messages or religion so I really don't know what made me keep my feelings bottled up for so long. Loving him inspired me to hang out in fagghola chats and message boards for a short time that helped me learn how to be a professional fagghola as well as talk with other faggholas about their fagghola experiences and shit. It was spiritual.
Then uh, I got the idea to start requesting drawings of him, somehow. He had only two pieces of fan art and I decided I wanted to change that. So I headed over to any draw threads I could on 4chan and made it my fucking full time job to get as many drawings of him as possible.
During this time, I learned to truly appreciate art, started drawing things myself and ... met a fagghola artist there that ... also coincidentally fell in love with my husbando. He approached me about it, saying that my husbando is all that's on his mind lately and that he'd like to talk to me one on one about a doujin he was planning on drawing. I was so fucking down, gave him my Steam name and we started messaging each other. There was an instant connection and I've been in a shitty embarrassing LDR with him for nearly two years now.
Then there were a couple rough stretches. My relationship with my husbando started getting really convoluted. I couldn't even imagine myself with him anymore after a certain point because I was so fucking appalled with myself, both physically and in regards to my personality. I'm the most disgusting, fat, insufferable cunt I've ever met and I realized he'd want absolutely nothing to do with me if he had a say in things. I started questioning my state of mind and researching things like autism, psychopathy, etcetera and came to the conclusion that I am an untreatable genetic fuck up that shouldn't have been born. But I did what little I could and started working out, starving myself and became bulimic. I lost 70 pounds. Did some therapy. I cured my depersonalization disorder.
Since even after all this work I've been doing with myself I could still no longer imagine myself with my husbando comfortably, I opted to instead ship him with a different character in my place. It was an awkward transition that took months to work out but I'm really happy with the way things are now. I started falling in love with the character that I was shipping him with as well so I sort of got a waifu out of it. I've created an autistic little fantasy universe that revolves around the two with my online boyfriend. We've developed a language, a numeral system and a bunch of religions and culture for the citizens within it and expanded on our husbando and waifus characters. It's been a fun ride.
please no ban for the 3dpd, it's a toxic codependent relationship and I'd get out of it if I could
Post edited on 6th Aug 2014, 10:50am
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